Funny / Half-Life but the AI is Self-Aware

"Wikipedia is how we earn seventy-three percent of our research funding!"

Look Gordon, ropes! We could use these to— HELP ME GORDON!

With the absurdities of all the things around Gordon, as well as his own dysfunctional companions, it's expected for you to get some chuckles out of all of it.

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

---

Do you have your passport, Troper?

• Literally anything that comes out of Dr. Coomer's mouth.
  • "''Hello, Gordon!''"
  • "You're a nasty little sewage boy, aren't you, Dr. Freeman?"
  • "Be careful, Gordon! These doors say 'Blast Donger'!"
  • "FEEEED MY—MY COOIIINS, DR. FREEMAAAAAAAAAAA—"
  • "I did have a wife, but they took her in the divorce."
  • "Look, Gordon! We made it black into Back Mesa!"
  • "Look Gordon, ropes! We can use- HELP ME GORDON!"
  • "Dr. Bubby fuckin' 'em up!"
  • "Gordon, I need spices!"
  • "You thought wrong, my good bitch!"
  • "Look out Gordon, explosi- *An explosion was heard in the next room with Dr. Coomer going flying soon after*

Act 1

Part 1

• Benrey jumps off an elevator when it's a few feet above its destination. In one of the very rare occasions that he displays any emotion besides apathy or mild anger, he laughs uproariously as Gordon chides him. His prideful, crazy laughter implies Benrey thinks he did something much worse.
  Gordon: Damn. Damn, you wait for nobody, huh?
  Benrey: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
  Gordon: *wheeze*
• After being harassed all the way there by Benrey, Gordon finally manages to ditch him just outside of the test chamber.
  Scientist: Gordon, we have complete faith in you.
  Gordon: I love this guy. Yes! Yes, that's what I'm fucking-
  (Gordon tries to pat the scientist on the shoulder, but the scientist walks away without a word.)
  Gordon: Okay, apparently nobody here knows how to socialize and, y'know, be a friendly co-worker and just...
  (The test chamber doors open. Standing behind them, somehow, is Benrey.)
  Gordon: HOW THE FU-
  • It's even funnier after watching the commentary, which reveals that Benrey's player, Scorpy, actually got lost and only managed to get there by coincidence.
• The first time Benrey is seen in action, he shoots down a headcrab with a pulse rifle - and the pulse rifle shot accidentally kills the two scientists in the room.
  Gordon: What are we arming our guards with?! What the fuck was that weapon?!
  Bubby: Oh my god, they're dead!
  Benrey: That was uh, that was a passport.
• When the group assembles itself, Gordon's trying to talk to Tommy when he sees Benrey using his Sweet Voice to immolate a scientist in the background.
  Gordon: Hey, what happened to those guys?
  Benrey: Th- uh, they didn't have their passport.
  *long pause as the group absorbs this*
  Bubby: You're gonna want to find that passport, Gordon.
• After getting back to the locker room to search Gordon's locker, he shows off a picture of his baby son Joshua to his friends. And then there's Benrey's response.
  Gordon: That's my baby. I have a son, that's Joshua.
  Benrey: Looks a bit... shit.
  Coomer: Your boy is beautiful, Gordon!
  Gordon: *wheeze*
  • Also in the locker is Gordon's passport! His expired passport, which does nothing to satisfy Benrey.
• And then, Gordon is blocked by Benrey in the locker, who in turn is blocked off from exiting by Coomer.
  Benrey: (Voice becoming more muffled and distorted as he speaks.) GET ME OUT OF THIS BOX
  Gordon: Please!
  Coomer: Hello, Gordon!
• At one point the group finds Benrey sitting calmly as a headcrab attempts to latch onto him. A completely exasperated Gordon tells Benrey to move so he can kill the headcrab, and his tone of voice makes it very clear he really doesn't care if Benrey doesn't move and the headcrab kills him. Which leads us immediately into this gem of an interaction:
  (Benrey looks at Gordon and the headcrab instantly bursts into flames.)
  Benrey: (without a drop of emotion) Oh no.
  Gordon: I'm afraid of you, I'm gonna admit that.
• The whole episode ends as Gordon curls up in despair (and the fetal position) as Benrey sings his Sweet Voice in the background.

Part 2

• While trying to press Bubby for a passport, Benrey accidentally backs into an elevator shaft, and he drops out of sight. His only reaction is a subdued "Oh, shit-"
• While in the vents, Bubby tries to show Gordon how strong he is by crossing a massive fan. Due to Gir forgetting to turn on God Mode, Bubby ends up ragdolling instead.
• While lost in the vents, Dr. Coomer tells Gordon he can guide him to the exit using the SuperPlayer feature, starting Coomer's obsession with PlayCoins and acting as a guide for Gordon.
• Tommy insists that the Turret Room is actually totally safe. "It can't hurt you if you're smart! That's why we're all scientists. It's the Turing Test room. The Turret-ing Test room."
• After making it to Surface Access and getting bombed to high hell, Gordon tries to scan the area for cover, only to notice something tearing ass towards him in the midst of the chaos.
  Gordon: HOLY SHIT, A SKELETON!
  • According to the commentary, Wayne loves this moment. According to him, the skeleton seems to be just as discombobulated as the Science Team. To this end, it's likely the skeleton didn't intentionally charge Gordon; it was only trying to seek cover. It just happened across Gordon at the worst possible time.
• At the very end of ACT 1 Part 2, as the scientists shoot the skeleton and Wayne prepares to end the simulation, a figure randomly appears behind Coomer for a split second. Pausing the video at the right time reveals that it's◊ a certain famous electric yellow mouse. The cast commentary reveals that it was G-Man VA and resident stagehand Mike, and that he'd photobombed the cast multiple times during filming.

Act 2

• After falling for the Barnacles over and over in the previous episodes, Dr. Coomer manages to use one as a rope.
  Bubby: Hey, you used that to get out of a pit!
  Dr. Coomer: Fine idea, Doctor!
  Gordon: ...so I was wrong about the ropes, huh?
  Coomer bodyslams him with the Barnacle
  Gordon: Gah!
• Bubby punching out a headcrab zombie, yelling "nut up or shut up!"
• As soon as the party gets access to "ropes", they immediately begin abusing them.
  Dr. Coomer: Perhaps we can jump down there, Gordon.
  Gordon: Nothing is there for us. That's gonna get us nowhere.
  Dr. Coomer: Perhaps we can ju-
  Gordon: Don't do it.
  Dr. Coomer: (Aside Glance) Per-
  Gordon: Just cause you have a rope, don't do it.
  Dr. Coomer: Perhaps we-
  Bubby: Hey! Maybe a rope could help us here!
  Bubby swings across the gap without the party
  Gordon: I don't have one of those! Oh my god...
  Bubby: (Distantly) Gordon, help me!
• Gordon warns the party against drinking still water to avoid dysentery. Then chunks of Ludicrous Gibs start raining down as Dr. Coomer stands on Gordon's head.
  Dr. Coomer: Good news, Gordon! The cybernetics department replaceded my colon!
• After reuniting with Benrey, the party comes across a Dr. Coomer clone. The inevitable happens.
  Bubby: This man is a lazy layabout!
  Benrey: Hey man, what's up? I saw you earlier at lunch, you owe me... three dollars.
  Gordon: You have the three dollars? (Benrey points his revolver at the clone) You're really gonna kill him over- you've killed for less, haven't you?
  (Beat)
  Benrey: Never mind, we're friends.
  (Bubby shoots him.)
  Bubby: He owed me five!
  Dr. Coomer: Another clone defeated. My power grows, Gordon!
• After encountering the scientist hiding on top of the generator, Benrey attempts to shoot him, but the scientist's hitbox is skewed so he misses. Benrey blows this off as the guy being a hologram. Not one to shy away from killing one of his clones, Dr. Coomer has a go, and accidentally punches Benrey to death and clean off the platform, leaving the entire cast Corpsing.
• Gordon falls into a vat of green slime, and Benrey follows him.
  Gordon: What, am I not supposed to be down here?
  Benrey: Yeah, I'm sorry, we're kinda fucked. (Drops dead)
• The entire exchange over Bubby's vandalism.
  Bubby: Gordon, I'm making graffiti.
  Dr. Coomer: Excellent work, Dr. Bubby! Creative!
  [...]
  Dr. Coomer: Now Gordon, vandalism is no joke!
  • And of course, the ending.
  Bubby: Gordon! There is no graffiti.
• Dr. Coomer reading the opening to Wikipedia's article on chairs, then passing out from an overloaded brain.
• After being pushed too far by Benrey, Gordon decides to Troll him back by playing with a dead soldier's ribcage.
  Gordon: I'm gettin' some ribs.
  Benrey: Why are you here?
  Gordon: You ever been to Chili's?
• The party encounters Forzen after seemingly killing him, with a mounted turret on their side.
  Bubby: I'm not afraid of you!
  (Forzen No Sells the gunfire and executes a security guard.)
  Bubby: I'm afraid of you!
• Gordon tries to use a captured radio to trick the HECU into getting off their backs. Unfortunately, he makes the mistake of turning his back on Dr. Coomer.
  Dr. Coomer: Gordon, I'm full.
• The party decides to sneak up on some unaware soldiers upon reaching the surface. All is well until...
  Dr. Coomer: LOOK, GORDON! WE MADE IT TO THE SURFACE!
• Gordon tries to have a heartfelt chat with his fellow scientists, only to be interrupted by pigeons dropping eggs (and later, rocks) on them.
  • "I have no guilt weighing on my conscience, Gordon. Can you say the same?"
• Benrey sits inside the spinning globe hologram at the launch silo, and says he's editing Wikipedia.
  Dr. Coomer: The free online encyclopedia that anyone at Black Mesa can edit!
  Gordon: So this is, we have... we host Wikipedia at Black Mesa?
  Dr. Coomer: Wikipedia is how we earn seventy-three percent of our research funding!
  Gordon: From the donations from Wikipedia? So we're just lying to the public? Why do we own Wikipedia?
  Dr. Coomer: Why don't you own Wikipedia, Gordon?
  Gordon: Cause nobody owns Wikipedia! I thought it was a fuckin' property of the masses!
  Dr. Coomer: You thought wrong, my good bitch!
  • Benrey also edits Wikipedia to say Gordon died. When Gordon points out that he doesn't have a Wikipedia page, Benrey replies that he edited it into the Wikipedia page for All Dogs Go to Heaven 2, and when Gordon calls him out for vandalizing the page, Benrey claims that they are in All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 and that the movie isn’t over yet.
    • This winds up crossing into meta-territory due to the fact that people actually took to editing the movie's Wikipedia page to include this "fact", to the point where the page became locked.
• While the others are bickering about Wikipedia, Bubby goes conspicuously absent... until Gordon fires the rocket.
  Bubby: MY DREAM COMES TRUE! I'M LEAVING THIS WORLD!
  • Then, after he returns to the party...
  Bubby: I'm going back. (Glides silently into space)
• The Black Mesa AI's opinion of the rocket launch.
  Black Mesa AI: ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇᴛ ʟᴀᴜɴᴄʜ ɢᴏᴏᴅ.
  Gordon: Locket Raunch Good? Is that what it said?
  Black Mesa AI: ʏᴇs.
• The running gag of PlayCoins™.
  Dr. Coomer: Fine purchase, Gordon! You have [mechanical] TWO. Playcoins™ remaining!
  Gordon: What happens when I hit zero?
  [Beat.]
  Dr. Coomer: Don't hit zero, Gordon!
  Bubby: You don't wanna know!
  • This comes back to bite Gordon in the ass during his No-Holds-Barred Beatdown, since Coomer won't do anything to help because he's out of Playcoins™.
• The final lines of Act 2:
  Gordon: *after telling Dr. Coomer a bedtime story* Do you get the moral of this story?
  Dr. Coomer: No.
  Gordon: ...good night, buddy.
  Black Mesa AI: ɴᴏ.
• This particular example comes from Twitch chat: at one point, one of the chat members claims Tommy is a power bottom... only to get yelled at in response by numerous other members:
  MooseoneLivedhere: tommy is a power bottom
  martinsnartin: TOMMY IS FIVE
  • Later, when it's revealed that Tommy is actually 36, there's a long pause in chat. And then—
  MooseoneLivedhere: tommy is legal

Act 3

• Act 3 opens with Bubby waking Gordon up from his sleep... and then pushing him down a ladder.
  Dr. Coomer: Good morning, Dr. Freeman! I see operation "Roll You Down The Ladder Like A Barrel" was a complete failure!
• The party gets into a fight over the train controls, resulting in it speeding ahead without them, save for Benrey, who remains seated on it as it plows into a HECU ambush.
  Benrey: Alright, we're doing it! Goodbye.
• Dr. Coomer appears to learn his lesson about ropes... if only briefly.
  Dr. Coomer: Be careful, Gordon. These looks like ropes, but they may actually be Barnacles in disguise.
  Gordon: ...y'know, there's some logic there. That is a more acceptable-
  Dr. Coomer: Look Gordon, a rope! We can use- HELP ME, GORDON!
• Bubby randomly executing a scientist who was apparently Dr. Coomer's best friend.
  Bubby: I think he's trying to lure you into a trap! (Gunshot)
  Gordon: ...I wouldn't have done that.
  Bubby: Nobody's going to do that today!
  Dr. Coomer: He was my best friend... but he owed me seven dollars!
  • "That man was my best friend! That means I can access his memories!"
• The party comes upon the infamous crusher piston puzzle, and Gordon puzzles upon the Fridge Horror.
  Gordon: How instant to you think death is from something like this? I feel like this has gotta be one of the most horrible ways to die.
  Dr. Coomer: Never fear, Gordon! It would be excruciatingly painful, and long! Maybe fear a little bit.
• Bubby deciding to destroy Wikipedia because there's too much information in the world.
  Dr. Coomer: The free online encyclopedia that NO ONE will ever edit again.
  • Benrey takes the time to explain to Gordon that the room with the Wikipedia logo was not, in fact, where Wikipedia is stored.
    Benrey: This is the body room, that was the brain room.
• The party comes across the black-ops assassins, and Dr. Coomer takes notice.
  Dr. Coomer: Look out, Gordon! Hotted boobs up ahead! Tits big ones!
  Bubby: My biggest fear!
  • "Surface asses! Right ahead!"
• The Science Team decides to spend several minutes and a lot of ammo shooting at moths. This alone exasperates Gordon, but what really breaks him is when Tommy produces an entire human skull as evidence of the threat that the moths pose.

Part 2

• After the horror that is the fight between Gordon, Tommy and the army of Dr. Coomer clones (well, mostly the latter two) what is the original's reason for rejoining the two?
  Dr.Coomer: (said with utter nonchalance) Well, clearly climbing inside of your arm and wearing you like a puppet didn't work, so perhaps I could help you find... something to help.
• Gordon finally lets his rage towards Bubby for taking his arm boil over.
  Gordon: If this over a GODDAMN passport, I will strangle that bald fuck with my own one hand!
  Dr. Coomer: Can I help?
  Gordon: ...yeah. You can do the other hand. That'd be fun for you, I bet.
  Dr. Coomer: Exciting!
• The Skull Grinding Facility.
• After reuniting the the party, Bubby tries to prove to Gordon that he can be trusted... about as well as Bubby can manage.
  Bubby: I'll give you five dollars.
  Gordon: The same five dollars you murdered a man for?
  Bubby: Absolutely!
  • Coomer talking Gordon into accepting Bubby's offer by reminding him of the Playcoin™ exchange-rate.
• Gordon convincing the party not to kill a random civilian for once. Bubby immediately catches him in the blast radius of a grenade.
  "Bubby is back, bitches!" (Guard explodes) "Woops. Collateral damage."
• Tommy taking the initiative to shoot some headcrabs that got stuck in an animal pen.
  Bubby: Tommy, that's disgusting. Those are caged animals.
  (He presses the button to release the headcrabs.)
  Bubby: There we go!
  Gordon: Ohhh, don't open them, why would you open them?!
  Bubby: To be ethical, Gordon!
• Gordon hiding from the HECU and alien grunts due to missing an arm, then popping out from cover to explain himself.
  Gordon: I'm hiding, hey. I gotta be like a pussy right now.
  Dr. Coomer: Fine work, Dr. Pussy!
  • The next part picks up immediately thereafter as the Science Team has a Seinfeldian Conversation about Dexter Jettster while Gordon doubles over laughing.

Part 3

• Bubby sheepishly admitting he doesn't even have the five dollars he'd bought his freedom with.
  Bubby: Look Gordon, my money is in my locker, which is like two hours ago.
  Gordon: Say no more.
  Bubby: We can go back?
  Gordon: Sssss-nuhhhh...
• Gordon's worsening delirium, owing to Wayne actually getting sick to his stomach with stage fright. Thankfully he has Dr. Coomer to provide much-needed support.
  Gordon: Wanna see a man barf?
  Dr. Coomer: Yes!
• Bubby Railroading the party through the laser puzzle.
  Dr. Coomer: Gordon, it's very important that we don't obstruct the laser shield, as the sign says up here.
  Bubby: [Distantly] I'm going to obstruct it!
  • "Alright, let me demonstrate how god damn smart I am!"
  • Bubby second-guessing if the scripted wall demolition was going to work.
  Bubby: Yes... yes! YES! Is it working? *explosion* YES!
• "Justin.tv has no future. No one's gonna wanna watch people play video games on the internet."
  • Gordon uses this moment to double-down on his suggestion to rob a bank.
  Gordon: You still didn't give me your word, do you wanna rob the bank? Because I'd love start talking about plans.
  Tommy: No, that's a crime.
  Gordon: ...Tommy, you've killed about five-hundred men.
  Bubby: That's not a crime.
  Gordon: Self-defense, though, self-defense.
  Dr. Coomer: Technically my clones are illegal and wanted by the state!
• Benrey makes his dramatic return... failing a trust-fall and ragdolling off a tall crate.
• The Science Team comes across the dreaded Pita-Cutter Room. A bloodbath immediately ensues.
  Dr. Coomer: Those ones weren't my clones, but it did feel good.
  • The Science Team comes across the first scientist that doesn't appear to be a clone of a party member. He is then immediately fragged by an unseen party.
  Bubby: I don't think he deserved that, to be quite honest. [Beat] Oh well, no one deserves anything.
  Dr. Coomer I deserve everything!
  • "Now Gordon, it's very important to note, if you enter this room without a 'pita bread', the defense systems will activate. It's a good thing we all brought our snacks!"
• Bubby "heroically" attempts to save Gordon from a very casual Benrey, and ends up killing an innocent security guard instead.
  • Made even worse by the real Benrey revealing himself seconds prior, by talking about how someone took a dump in the next room over.
• Benrey returning in earnest by producing an actual passport to taunt Gordon with. As Gordon recoils in shock from the sight, he glances around to find all his companions are brandishing their passports, too...
  • ...only to begin Corpsing at the realization that Tommy's last name is "Coolatta".
  • Moments laters, Gordon realizes that Tommy named himself after the "fuckin' ass" drinks from Dunkin Donuts.
• Benrey incessantly mocking Gordon for losing his arm, which he caused.
  Benrey: Whadya do? Write your name too many times on the blackboard, idiot?
  • "Gordon, you seem to be losing a lot of blood. This can cause things such as: Delirium. Exhaustion. Death."
• Bubby finds a scientist NPC to open the door for the party, then starts complaining to Gordon about having to deal with a tagalong who just won't shut up.
  • After the otherwise chilling G-Man encounter, Bubby executes said scientist for whining.
  Bubby: STOP COMPLAINING!
• Dr. Coomer managing to get trapped in a revolving door.
• Bubby attempts to lead a charge against the HECU, only to immediately ragdoll in a barrel explosion.
• Benrey attempting to subdue a military helicopter by flashing his passport at it and asking it to stop. When the party manages to down it with rockets, he politely says "thank you so much."
• As the gang stares down the massive face of a dam, Dr. Coomer tries reassuring Gordon that it doesn't look too dangerous. He then falls off the dam and ragdolls halfway through the fall.
  Benrey: Hey, maybe you should do that.
• After Benrey body-blocks Gordon while bragging about how cool his passport looks, Gordon tells him it looks a bit shit.
• While the gang is admiring Bubby's knife, Gordon mentions it would look good in Gabe Newell's famous knife collection.
  Dr. Coomer: Oh I know him! ...why do I know him?
  • Humorously, Bubby offers a perfectly reasonable in-universe explanation. Gabe Newell is a Black Mesa employee who runs a chaos theory lab... about two hours back.
• Dr. Coomer performing a perfect belly-flop off the dam, landing in a crumpled mass at the bottom of the canyon.
  Gordon: Do you just have like a reset function or something? Like, does your cybernetics just reboot your brain when it would shut down normally?
  Dr. Coomer: Hello, Gordon!
• Dr. Coomer pleading Gordon to taste the Sewage Waste Water. Naturally, he refuses.
  Bubby: But I thought you were a nasty little sewage boy!
  • As the team is crawling through the drainage pipes, they begin questioning the level design.
  Bubby: What the hell was the point of this pipe?
  Dr. Coomer: This is where they keep the pipes!
• The party takes a break from dodging an attack helicopter's rocket salvo to listen to Dr. Coomer read the Wikipedia article on cacti.
• After denying that he still has the rocket launcher from the dam battle, Gordon discovers him holding one.
  Dr. Coomer: This is my arm.
• "Blue to green means it's time to be mean!"
• As the party escapes the drainage canal and exits into the canyon edge, Gordon happens to notice the Skeleton riding on an F-16 Fighting Falcon.
• Benrey attempts to talk Gordon into leaping off the canyon into a a stream at the bottom, while saying it would be stupid if he were to try it. Bubby scolds Gordon that nobody would jump off a massive cliff as Dr. Coomer gleefully does exactly that.
• As the party takes refuge in a canyon encampment, they suddenly notice an agonizingly loud sound that only gets louder with time. When they round the corner, they suddenly discover a rotating mass of helicopters which endlessly spews rockets and only grows larger as they try to kill it. For the first time, the Science Team can only think to flee.
  Bubby: Gordon, if I was to talk to a God, I would say... that probably wasn't in his plan.
  Dr. Coomer: All that filthy Wikipedia money and they invested it into the Helicopter Heap.
• In the middle of Gordon ranting about wanting to kill Benrey, the latter decides to smooch him, completely stunning Gordon.
  Bubby: Benrey, you'll just have to kiss him after we leave.
  Dr. Coomer: You'll just have to kiss Dr. Freeman after the test.
  • All the while, Dr. Coomer is lounging in a waist-high pool of blue liquid, which Tommy reveals to be Powerade™. As Bubby uncharistically urges the party forward, Gordon ravenously sips some with his one hand.
  Benrey: It replenishes your electronics.
  Dr. Coomer: I have many electronics.
  • "I could drink SODA forever!"
• When the team first encounters a Xen manta, Tommy exclaims that it is a Dactar(?)
• When the party arrives at the Ordinance Storage Facility, Dr. Coomer warns him this is where they are storing "ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪɢ ᴏɴᴇ".
  Gordon: We made the nukes, the World War II nukes, didn't we?
  Bubby: No, we made the better ones after.
  Dr. Coomer: Gordon, I'm not at liberty to say. But we did totally do that.
• Bubby has some conniptions about Tommy being the de facto leader.
  Bubby: I don't know why the child gets to lead us.
  Gordon: He's thirty-six!
  Bubby: A mere child!
  Dr. Coomer: He's very brave!
• When an injured security guard in the minefield calls out for help, he is unfortunate enough to first be noticed by Benrey.
  Benrey: What's up, man? [Shotgun blast to the head.]
• The party's conversation about how much they love hole, birthing Dr. Coomer's new catchphrase in the final act.
• Benrey encounters the Skeleton, and flashes his passport at it. The skeleton flashes one back.
  Gordon: I'm gonna go to bed, and if you shoot me in the head while I'm asleep, I don't care, it's fine.

Act 4

Part 1

• The Team Fortress 2 dream Gordon has at the start of Act 4 and Dr. Coomer's interruption.
  Dr. Coomer: Hello, Gordon! Fine shooting! None of this is real, is it?*ragdolls* Hel-!
  • It should be noted that until the "Hel-", Coomer is speaking like a Banjo-Kazooie character with his dialogue in a text box. The actual audio sounds more like
  Dr. Coomer: GOR GOR GOR GOR GOR GOR GOR. GOR GOR GOR GOR HEL-!
• Benry's one-sided Ho Yay towards Gordon reaches a fever pitch in this episode, best shown by these quotes from Darnold's lab.

  Benry: gordon knows how to suck and he does it well.

  Benry: (as Gordon drinks the potion) YEAA BRAZZERS!

• In Darnold's lab, after Gordon gets his minigun arm, Benrey accuses Gordon of being the one who's been killing civilians the whole game. However, Gordon is just about done with Benrey's nonsense.
  Benrey: Hey! You're the one that keeps killing people.
  Gordon: (unloading into Benrey's face) I WISH I COULD KILL YOUUUUUUUUU!!!
• There's Gordon's attempt to trick the military into giving them information.
  Gordon: Uhh, alpha... beta... gamma, uh, scientists dead. Over. Uh, report back for... lunch?
  Bubby: (Beat) ...Lunch?
  Gordon: (Whispering) I don't— I don't know.
• After riding a Cadillac through a parking structure, Wayne's having problems getting his character model out of the car. The in-universe explanation? Benrey glued Gordon to the seat.
• Benrey attempting to use the FootScanner HD^* Actually a radio array for calling down airstrikes. to get hi-res pictures of Gordon's feet results in Gordon using his Arm Cannon to punch him off the platform. Benrey's response is calling him Gordon Feetman with the tone of an upset child.
• When the Science Team first opens the room that Forzen and Sunkist are in:
  Forzen: *menacingly* Hey.
  Door closes
  Forzen: Uh, goodbye.
  Door re-opens
  Forzen: Welcome, again.
• As Forzen retreats...
  Gordon: Is that you Forzen? You rat fuck! You-
  Forzen: "Irate Gamer" Chris Bores did not ripoff "Angry Video Game Nerd" James Rolfe! [The elevator begins to descend.]
  Gordon: What?
  Forzen: Goodbye!
• "Gordon, titty boob huge fuck."
  • And just before that, when the Black Ops soldiers appear...
  Coomer: Gordon, look out! Massive tittums!
• Benrey interrupting the G-Man's speech to Gordon.
  G-Man: Doctor Freeman, it's good to see you in such... good spirits. You are nearing the end of your journey, my friend and I thought it would only be fitting to- [Benrey walks over to him]
  Gordon: What? What?
  Benrey: Do- Do you have credentials?
  G-Man: Uh... I... Uh, they're in my other coat. I-If you wouldn't mind I'm trying to, uh, talk to Mr. Freeman.
  Benrey: It's okay, I wanna see them, though? Do you have Playstation Plus?

Part 2

• After defeating the Gonarch:
  Dr. Coomer: Biggest tit I EVER seen.
  Bubby: That was a 'nad!
  Coomer: Biggest 'nad I EVER seen.
• While hounding the Science Team throughout Xen, Benrey at one point starts making some kind of noise that freaks Gordon out, and Gordon assumes it's some horrific bestial cry. Viewers will recognize it as the memetic Crash Bandicoot "WHOA!"
• Benrey setting the tone for his bizarre "Motive Rant".
  Benrey: I'm telling you - look, I'm... I like everything. I'm a great cool. I feel a good, but you make me angry!
  • Benrey's attempt to portray himself as the hero of the story, despite it having nothing to do with reality, completely stuns the Science Team.
    Benrey: Sony CEO Jack Tretton survived a nuclear- a nuclear bomb!
    Gordon: [Corpsing] What? What? Should we-
    Benrey: Sony CEO Jack Tretton hired Nintendo CEO Reggie and they built a big BOMB that was going to go off, but I saved the world!
• After Gordon gets teleported back to Black Mesa in the past, he enters the locker room to destroy his Passport and deny Benrey power. Only now, all the lockers but three say they're for Dr. Coomer.
• Upon Gordon giving Dr. Coomer his final PlayCoins to activate the SuperPlayer feature, we hear the original Half Life VOX go off.
  "ATTENTION. [WOOP, WOOP] DOCTOR COOMER. [WOOP, WOOP] YOU ARE PERMITTED TO USE THE FORBIDDEN SCIENCE.
• The Gman and Gordon getting into a long argument over whether Chuck E. Cheese is a restaurant or a 'family entertainment center.'
  • Only to be interrupted, inexplicably, by Bubby, who is on the weird extradimensional train that the G-Man and Gordon are on. The G-Man promptly shoots him with a revolver. He then states he just sent him on ahead.
• The birthday party is a goldmine in general, but special mention goes to Tommy sitting on Vin Diesel's lap like a Mall Santa. What's better is Vin's reaction to Tommy's odd list of things he wants for his birthday. ^list A case of soda, specifically Sprite Cranberry, a hot dog, a Beyblade set, and a subscription to Shuttershock.

  Vin Diesel: That makes no fuckin' sense. But you can have it.

• Gordon attempting a pep talk with Tommy and Bubby.
  Gordon: Tommy, if it wasn't for you, I would have died back at Black Mesa. Bubby, you betrayed me and cut off my arm, but we're totally past that.
  Bubby: Yup, totally past it.

AI Crushes All Banks / PAYDAY 2 VR but the AI is Self Aware

• Gordon accidentally kills a hostage, begins discussing how important it is to avoid civilian casualties, then finds the bank manager and this happens:
  Gordon: Get the hell outta here! Get outta here, man... actually, you own a bank! BLAM
• Benrey manages to hack into the stream and joins the heist.... as johnwicklover1984.
  • During the same "hack" scene, Half Life 2 VR is confirmed! It's just a low-resolution video of Benrey playing Garry's Mod with a horribly broken mic.
  • Once Benrey gives up on pretending he's not who he is, he also claims, rather poorly that the johnwicklover1984 the team played the First World Bank heist with was his "brother".
• How did they convince Tommy to join the bank heists? A tube of Mini M&M's, of course!
  • Specifically Mini M&M's, by the way; the circumference is different.
• The Science Team breaks into the White House to find Tommy. Turns out he's scurrying through the walls like a rat.
  Tommy: This insulation has been here since Lincoln! I can smell it!
  • This leads to Tommy becoming less and less lucid over the course of the heist due to developing a case of asbestos poisoning. Gordon frantically picks up the pace of the heist after that trying to find him before he succumbs to his symptoms, but as the heist fails Tommy reveals that he got out and just went home.
  • While preparing for the mission for the second time (the team got kicked back to the menu without making much progress), Benrey claims that Tommy's in the White House because he forgot his Beyblade and references a nonexistent "Spider Dragoon" Beyblade. Gordon challenges him to name more.
    Bubby: Spiral Demon.
    Benrey: Recycled... Man.
    Bubby: Psychic Warrior.
    Gordon: These aren't Beyblades. Trust me.
    Benrey: Icy Chicken!
    Bubby: Tempered... Pi- Pineapple.
    Benrey: Frozen... Beef.
  • Each time the team is abruptly kicked back to the menu, Benrey inexplicably parses it as them having beaten the game.
  • The White House heist ends in colossal failure at the very end when the gas defense for the blank pardons goes off, downing everyone but Gordon all at once and leaving them in a place that Gordon can't get them up from. He tries anyway, running into the gas under a storm of bullets and getting downed for his trouble.
• While infiltrating a casino, the Science Team runs into the ghost of Elvis Presley and all of them, even Gordon, start geeking out. Then Elvis phases through them, at which point they freak out and panic, at which point Elvis uses his dance moves to brainwash the Science Team into head banging until he leaves.
  Coomer: He’s a phantom! This casino is haunted! Let’s get out of here!

Cast Commentary / Behind The Scenes

• ACT 1:
  • The YouTube uploads of the Cast Commentary streams are portrayed as an in-universe Movie-Theater Episode. Gordon is sent to a movie theater by the G-Man after Tommy's party and is forced at gunpoint to watch the commentary with him and the Science Team.
    G-Man: I rented out the whole theater, and... I think it'd be, awfully, terrible, if you didn't stick around to... see the fullness... of the party?
    Gordon: I'm gonna go find an implement, break the glass and leave.
    G-Man: ... [Pulls out a revolver, aiming it right at Gordon.] I think you should stick around and watch the movie, with me and my friends, wouldn't you... think so?
    Gordon: This is quite the day I'm having. Yeah, let's go.
  • It turns out that Tommy's line about having a drawer full of Tic-Tac's was inspired by when Baaulp had a drawer full of loose Tic-Tac's as a kid. This revelation promptly causes the entire cast to die with laughter.
  • Mike, the Stage Director who spawns in props for the cast to play off of, was working on spawning the scientists that get blown up with a grenade. Viewing the ordeal from his perspective, and with subtitles to highlight what was going on, we learn Mike, for a brief second, accidentally spawns The Nihilanth because the button for it was directly next to the one he was using and immediately deletes the boss hoping to god no one saw it. Wayne is glad he didn't as he was absolutely certain if he did he would've had absolutely no way to properly improv off of that.
• ACT 2:
  • Holly had some trouble with her mic. She demonstrates this by saying, in a voice described as "someone playing Counter Strike: Source in 2007":
    AWESOME, IT'S PENIS!
  • In the Behind the Scenes footage, Mike reveals that during the session, Holly earned the Steam achievement One Week^* Which is achieved by playing Gmod for a week overall. in the middle of the session. The moment this shows up in the footage, Holly proceeds to die with laughter, which is boosted by her mic.
  • The Act 2 commentary reveals that literally everyone - including Scorpy - forgot Forzen's name immediately after it was revealed.
  • Scorpy is also revealed to have tried to get the Vox announcer to announce the existence of a Beyblade with three bit beasts.
  • Wayne accidentally reveals via some overly-generous YouTube Recommendations that he has slept to the sound of The Angry Video Game Nerd videos. The entire cast is utterly baffled by this revelation—something that Wayne admits he also finds hilarious.
  • Holly actually memorized the Wikipedia page for chairs back in 2011, all so she could torment her friends over Skype.
  • The commentary also showcases a scene that didn't make the final cut of the YouTube release, along with why it happened: near the end of the part, Gordon actually followed Gman (played by the normally-invisible stagehand Mike) out into the main lab to ask who he was; Mike, who had not expected Gordon to follow him and had nothing prepared, panicked and delivered the first line that popped into his head:
    Wikipedia, the online free encyclopedia that anyone can edit, Mister Freeman.
    • Cue Gordon walking out of the room.
• ACT 3:
  • In the opening skit, Benrey accosts Gordon during his bathroom visit. Among other things he does, Benrey admires his "reflection of perfection" and makes out with it in front of Gordon, then rightfully points out that Gordon never flushed the toilet he used.
    • At the end of their meeting, Benrey sneakily looms behind Gordon as he takes refuge in a stall. However, the bathroom mirror gives Benrey away. When Gordon points this out, Benrey shouts "Aw, fuck!" and phases back into the wall, giving Gordon an opening to escape.
    • Gordon also discovers a baseball inside of a toilet. When Benrey sees this, he is, for once, just as baffled by this as Gordon.
  • Wayne mentions a comment that notes the Irony at the start of Questionable Ethics regarding the security guard between this machinima and Freeman's Mind: In Freeman's Mind, this is the first guy Gordon kills almost immediately out of shock. Here, it's one of the few people the gang doesn't kill outright (at least until Bubby shoots him by accident).

• Act 4:
  • The opening skit has Gordon trying to go to the concession stand and losing his mind because not only is the Skeleton running the place, but they're selling Blue's Clues branded candy. He eventually buys the "Blue's Chews" on Bubby's urging... and is given a television remote, which he promptly drops and is ridiculed for.
  Bubby: You're a clumsy little dingus, aren't you?
  Benry: Little butterfinger boy.
  • As the Science Team and the G-Man prepare to finish off their movie night, Gordon asks if anyone knows how the movie will end. He expects Benry to know better than everyone else. His answer?
    Benry: (cheerfully) I WIN!!!!!
• Turns out that the bit about Darnold being a potions professor instead of a cybernetics professor was planned by everyone except Wayne, who was left desperately trying to improv when he was expecting to make a bunch of cybernetic jokes.
• One cut moment had Holly get disconnected and vanish entirely, leading to a series of jokes where the group tries to figure out what happened, which blends into Bubby acting like Coomer had never existed, to Gordon's exasperation.
  • Another cut Holly moment, best shown in Mike's behind the scenes footage, stands out as possibly one of the most ridiculous things Dr. Coomer has ever said.
    Mike: Holly, get ready for another Titted Boobs joke if you're gonna do it. There's more assassin's in the next room.
    Holly: (overlapping) Oh! Yes, yes, yes! (inspiration strikes) Oh!
    Dr. Coomer: Gordon, we should get a move on. But I have a bad feeling about this. My penis weenis is tingle wingles!
    Baaulp: (dying laughing)
    Gordon!Wayne: I'm... I imagined that one, there's no way you said that.
• The times a "contortionist nightmare" Benry flew through the level were actually nerfed from the original versions Scorpy created, which would perform an Interface Screw on anyone who looked at them.
  • One of his creations had a face that undulated in and out of itself as it plays the high-pitched screech before someone explodes in 'Fist of the North Star'' and Dough Dimmadome saying flubbernuggets at the same time. A clip of it using a Hagrid playermodel is shown off in a Tumblr post, and it's as bizarre as it sounds.
    Baaulp: I love it because, as a joke, Scorpy will just make P.A.C.s^* Player Appearance Customizers, the tool which Scorpy uses to create his abominations. that look like this when we're just goofing around on Gmod- but in the context of a sci-fi story, it's like, "yeah, he's taking on a form you can't even perceive."
    Holly: You Cannot Grasp the True Form of Benrey's attack!
• Some of Benry's dialogue during his pre-fight monologue, specifically "I'm a great cool" and "I feel a good" was taken from a channel called Haley Joel Osment on their Discord server, where only Scorpy is allowed to post. He uses it to post pictures of Rocco Botte at lower and lower resolutions, as well as to say nonsense like the above, as well as a few other examples they show off.
  Scorpy: some of you might get sad.Some might dont
  Scorpy: I'm i like everything
  Scorpy: It's just had on momoa who is chisel
  Scorpy: lean meat is the healthies
  Scorpy: Shat striped jeans
  Scorpy: As i child?
• When Forzen was teleported away after telling the Science Team to hold on, it cut off his next line: "They need me at YouTube." Everyone laments that it's the funniest thing Scorpy said that none of them could hear.
• At one point, the players are told not to kill a particular NPC in case he's important and has a role to perform. Except Scorpy "has the quickest goddamn trigger finger" and executes the guy almost before the instructions were out of the stage manager's mouth.
• The non-Gordon members of the Science Team had problems with a teleporter at one point. Namely, there was a set point characters were teleported to and they weren't moving out of the way fast enough, resulting in them telefragging each other over and over into a pile of corpses.
• The ending scene at the Chuk-E-Cheese didn't pick up their dialogue in the final version, so we get a few gems:
  • Tommy talking to Sunkist.
  "Sunksit, you'll never die! You'll live forever, for another million years! When all of us are dead in the ground you'll still be alive roaming the Earth!"
  • Dr. Coomer talking about himself after their decadent pizza feast.
  "I'm so full of pizza and soda, I'm like a fat bug on your countertop! Don't squish me!"
  • Dr. Coomer (probably) apropos of nothing.
  "I'm getting my clown hole ghouled, Gordon!"
  • One of Tommy's deleted birthday wishes was "performance anxiety."
• The much longer final clip of everyone making awful hoglike slurping noises drinking soda at the party, to the point that it becomes almost disturbing.
  • And that at one point, Wayne orders them to keep going, because his recording wasn't long enough.