Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) / Funny

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Film

After Groot has given a freaky inmate a nasal job to make it clear that Quill is under his protection, the inmate has this to say as Quill walks over him as he's lying on the ground sobbing in pain:
Inmate: I hate you...
This exchange from when the Guardians are incarcerated in the Kyln.
Quill: So, this orb has a real shiny blue suitcase-Ark of the Covenant-Maltese Falcon sort of vibe. What exactly is it?
Groot: I am Groot.
Quill: Who cares?
Peter wide awake in his cell with a bunch of sleeping prisoners either cuddling him or cuddling each other.
When Quill is woken up by the sounds of other inmates taking Gamora down to the showers with the intent of shanking her, Rocket, still half asleep, peeks up and asks Quill where he's going, and Rocket has a serious case of bed-head.
Before their improvised escape from prison, Quill asks Gamora how much her buyer was willing to pay for the Orb, as a means to get them all on the same side. Keep in mind that Rocket had previously stated Quill's bounty - 40,000 units - would make him and Groot rich.
Gamora: 4 billion units.
Rocket: WHAT!?!?
Quill: Holy Shit.
- Even better, Gamora is barely fazed by how large an amount that seems to be. Since she's not surprised by Rocket and Quill's reactions to this statement, simply continuing to explain the particulars, it's clear that she knows the value and yet is simply apathetic to it. Then again, she was technically a Warrior Princess under Thanos: this is probably nothing to them.
Groot's continued insistence that he should be paid just as much as everyone else after they sell the Orb.
Rocket: Asleep for the danger and awake for the money, as per frickin' usual.
Prior to the prison break, Rocket outlines his plan to Quill and Gamora, and mentions that removing a battery from one of the fuse boxes is instrumental. While he is explaining this, Groot goes over to the fuse box.
Rocket: And finally, on the wall back there is a black panel. Blinky yellow light. You see it?
Quill: Yeah.
Rocket: There's a quarnex battery behind it. Purplish box. Green wires. To get into that watch tower, I definitely need it.
[Drax watches Groot walk over to the fuse box, looking like he's wondering why nobody's stopping him.]
Gamora: How are we supposed to do that?
Rocket: Well, supposedly, these bald bodies find you attractive, so maybe you could work out some sort of trade.
Gamora: You must be joking.
Rocket: No, I really heard they find you attractive.
Quill: Look. It's twenty feet up in the air and it's in the middle of the most heavily guarded part of the prison. It's impossible to get up there without being seen. [Groot stretches himself upwards to remove the cover from the fusebox]
Rocket: I got one plan, and that plan requires this frickin' quarnex battery, so FIGURE IT OUT!
[Groot removes the cover of the fuse box, tossing it over his shoulder and clobbering a random passing inmate on the head]
Rocket: Can I get back to it? Thanks.
[Groot removes the battery from the fuse box]
Rocket: Now this is important. Once the battery is removed, everything is gonna slam into emergency mode. Once we have it, we gotta move quickly, so you definitely need to get that last.
[At this point, Groot proceeds to yank the battery out, setting off all the alarms at once]
Rocket: [shaking his head in resignation] Or we could just get it first and improvise.
Gamora: I'll get the armband.
Quill: Leg.
- And as Gamora and Quill dash off to their duties, the camera just zooms in on Rocket, who takes a moment◊ to paw at his own face. His expression screams "Goddamn it, Groot!"
- Also we see Groot holding out the battery expectantly, his expression basically saying, "I got the thing you said you needed. I did good, yes?"
"Drop the leg! DROP THE LEG AND GO BACK TO YOUR CELL!"
- While the other four members are involved in fighting off the guard rush, the scene cuts to Quill awkwardly sitting with the disabled prisoner, who goes, "You need my what?"
- Amusingly, in the credits, the actor who plays the guard, Ronan Summers, is actually called the "Drop the Leg" Guard.
When the group meets the head warden of the prison, Quill has the leg hoisted over his shoulder, carrying it like it's a rifle.
Quill plops the leg onto the console next to Rocket, who revealed he didn't need the leg.
Quill: Here you go. (Plop)
Rocket: Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. I just need these two things.
Quill: What?
Rocket: No, I thought it'd be funny! Was it funny? No, wait, what'd he look like hopping around?
Quill: I had to transfer him 30,000 units!
- And then Rocket laughs in a way that sounds halfway between a chuckle and a cat hissing.
When Peter is first brought to the prison, one of the guards confiscates his Walkman and starts listening to it. During their escape, Peter finds the Walkman missing and goes back to the same spot: the guard who confiscated it is still there, oblivious to the riot and various other events, because he's still listening to the Walkman.
- The way Peter bashes him in the head with the orb (and the dramatic shot of the fully kitted out Star-Lord behind him) just punctuates how screwed the guard is for stealing it.
After Quill joins the other four following their escape:
Drax: This one shows spirit! He will be a keen ally in the battle against Ronan. Companion, what were you retrieving?
[Quill hands him his Walkman; Drax looks dumbfounded]
Drax: You're an imbecile.
After Gamora calls Peter's ship "filthy" and leaves Peter says to Rocket...
Quill: She has no idea. If I had a blacklight, it'd be like a Jackson Pollock painting here!
Rocket: You've got issues, Quill.
- Peter's "Jackson Pollock painting" line is funny on its own, but it's even funnier from a meta perspective. Marvel put a semen joke in a PG-13 movie and got away with it.
Drax and Rocket get drunk at a bar on Knowhere. When Quill and Gamora have to break up the inevitable fight between them, Rocket responds to Drax's rage with a variation on the Blunt "Yes" trope.
Quill: Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing?!
Drax THIS VERMIN SPEAKS OF AFFAIRS HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT!
Rocket: That is true!
Drax: HE HAS NO RESPECT!
Rocket: That is also true!
When Gamora says that they will have to wait to see the client interested in the orb, Drax says, "This is no respectable establishment! What do you expect us to do while we wait?" The next scene cuts away to Rocket, Groot, and Drax placing bets on Orlonis that are being chased and eaten by a larger lizard monster with Groot looking rather upset. Then we have this dialogue between Drax and Rocket:
Drax: My Orloni has won, as I win at all things! Now, let's put more of this liquid into our bodies!
Rocket: That's the first thing you said that wasn't batshit crazy!
In the middle of freaking out about the Infinity Stone's power, Peter and Rocket take a moment to argue about whether Peter's bag is a purse or a knapsack. Made funnier by a similar argument in The Hangover starring Rocket's voice actor, Bradley Cooper.
Rocket, Drax and Groot have all agreed to rescue Gamora and Quill from the Ravagers, unaware that they've already managed to talk their way out of being spaced. Yondu and the Ravagers aren't very intimidated or concerned by Rocket's threats. Quill and Gamora however know anything Rocket's built is seriously capable of ruining their shit, and are frantic in calling him off.
Rocket: Attention, idiots. The lunatic on top of this craft is holding a Hadron(!!!) Enforcer. It’s a weapon of my own design. [Quill's face goes HD as he recognizes the damned thing as the gadget Rocket earlier described as "for if things get really hardcore. Or if you wanna blow up moons."]
Yondu: What the hell?
Rocket: If you don't hand over our companions now, he's gonna tear your ship a new one. A very big new one!
Yondu: I ain't buyin' it.
Rocket: I'm giving you to the count of five. 5, 4, 3
Quill: No! Wait, hold on! Rocket, it's me, for God sakes! We figured it out! We're fine!
Rocket: [long Beat, then nonchalant] Oh, hey, Quill. What's going on?
When the team is trying to sort out their issues while formulating their game plan on what to do next:
Peter: I have a plan!
Rocket: You've got a plan?!
Peter: Yes.
Rocket: First of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.
Peter: No I'm not. People say that all the time! It's not that unique of a thing to say.
Rocket: Secondly, I don't even believe you have a plan.
Peter: I have... part of a plan!
Drax: What percentage of a plan do you have?
Gamora: You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere!
Drax: I just saved Quill!
Peter: We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me!
Drax: When did we establish that?
Peter: Like three seconds ago!
Drax: I wasn't listening. I was thinking of something else.
Gamora: Ugh.
Rocket: She's right, you don't get an opinion. [to Peter] What percentage?
Peter: I dunno. Twelve percent?
Rocket: Twelve percent? [laughs]
Peter: That's a fake laugh!
Rocket: It's real!
Peter: Totally fake!
Rocket: That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life because that is not a plan!
Gamora: It's barely a concept.
Peter: You're taking their side?!
Groot: [In a "to be fair" tone] I am Groot.
Rocket: So what, "It's better than eleven percent!" What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Peter: Thank you, Groot! Thank you! [pats him on the shoulder] See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue.
Groot: [eating a leaf off his own shoulder]
Peter: [Face Palm]
During the Team Power Walk, Peter scratches his nose, Rocket adjusts the crotch of his pants, Drax is looking down at his feet, and Gamora yawns during the dramatic slow-motion shot.
"And this green whore is also-"
- "Oh, you must STOP!"
After being granted amnesty by the Nova Corps for saving the planet, Rocket and Drax try to stretch the limits of what is legal so they can continue to steal and murder while keeping their newly squeaky clean records.
Rocket: Question: what if I see something that I wanna take and it belonged to someone else?
Rhomann: You would be arrested.
Rocket: But what if I want it more than the person who has it?
Rhomann: It's still illegal.
Rocket: That doesn't follow. No, I want it more, sir, you understand me? [Gamora walks off with him] I can't have a discussion with this gentleman?
Drax: Say someone does something that irks me, and I decide to remove his spine.
Rhomann: Th-that's actually murder, one of... the worst crimes of all. So, also illegal.
Drax: [genuinely surprised] Huh.
Peter: [pats Rhomann's shoulder] They'll be fine, Dey. I'm gonna keep an eye on 'em.
Rhomann: You!?
Peter: Yeah. Me.
Rhomann: [Beat] This might not be the best idea.
- Note that while Rocket is clearly messing with Rhomann for kicks, Drax appears to be entirely serious. Also, look at John C. Reilly's delivery throughout the conversation. He seems to be not sure whether he should go Oh, Crap! or You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!
Some fridge humor: the entire ending is predicated on Peter being helped by the Guardians sharing the power of the Infinity Stone in order to defeat Ronan. In other words, they take him down with The Power of Friendship expressed as a Care Bear Stare.

Peter Quill/Star-Lord

The opening credits. It starts with Peter exploring the ruins of a civilization on Morag, using a projector showing the people that used to live there (including a kid playing with her dog). He quietly steps into the ruins, removes his mask, and takes out another device. His Sony Walkman. Redbone's "Come and Get Your Love" starts playing and he starts singing along and dancing around the ruins. He's splashing in puddles, kicking small rodent creatures, picking one of the rodents up and singing into it like a microphone, and basically having a grand 'ol time. It definitely shows how much this movie doesn't take itself seriously.
- What truly cements the fact that the movie doesn't take itself seriously is the fact that the whole scene is shot like it's an 80s music video.
- A smaller detail, but still very hilarious: during the montage, Quill sings into the rodent, then there's a few scenes where we see that hand is empty. Another cut, and there's a rodent in his hand again. The only reasonable explanation is he caught another one.
- When the lyrics kick in ("Hail") the titles appear in a massive, dramatic font over a shot of the ruins with the tiny silhouette of Quill visible at the bottom of the screen, doing his very silly dance.
After he escapes with the Orb, Quill finds out that one of his flings is still on the ship.
Quill: Okay, I'm gonna be totally honest with you, I forgot you were here.
On Peter's file in the line-up, under Aliases, he's listed as "Space-Lord". A nice, easy-to-miss touch.
- Or when he is called Star-Lady or Star-Princess.
- Also during his line-up, as he "cranks up" his middle finger like a jack-in-the-box.
  Quill: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know how this machine worked. [tries to put finger away. Fails]
Peter reveals that Every Scar Has a Story and each of his not-so-Rugged Scars basically amount to "one of his flings injured him in a fit of anger."
Quill's response to Gamora saying she doesn't dance:
Quill: On my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called... Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.
Gamora: Who put the sticks up their butts?
Peter: No, that's just an expression—
Gamora: That is cruel.
- In the aftermath of a crash landing under fire, Gamora turns to Peter and says, in a perfectly serious tone, "We're just like Kevin Bacon."
- Kevin Bacon actually saw the film and thought the joke was hilarious.
The Snark-to-Snark Combat between Rocket and Peter just keeps getting better:
Rocket: What has the galaxy ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?!
Peter: 'Cause I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!
After Quill saves Gamora from being Thrown Out the Airlock, nearly at the cost of his own life and promptly ruins it.
Quill: I looked deep inside myself and found something... heroic...
[Gamora rolls her eyes]
Quill: I don't mean to brag, but I think if you look at it objectively—
This exchange between Korath and Quill during the attack on the Dark Aster.
Korath: [upon seeing Quill] Star-Lord!
Quill: Finally!
- Worth mentioning is the look of just pure satisfaction on Peter's face as he says "Finally". He's been trying too damn hard to get people to call him Star-Lord.
Once Groot unleashes light "seeds":
Drax: Where did you learn to do that?
Quill: I'm pretty sure the answer is: "I am Groot".
- Blink and you'll miss it, but after Quill says this, Groot nods at him. Implying one of two things: either Groot is fully aware that nobody (besides Rocket) understands him, or Quill sarcastically saying "I am Groot" actually translated into something proper in the tree creature's language.
Quill distracting Ronan by singing and dancing to "Ooh Child", complete with challenging him to a dance-off. Ronan's facial expression is epically funny and it completely steals Ronan's thunder, negating his Evil Gloating moments before. It's also the first and last time Ronan drops his usual demeanor and formal language and speaks like a normal person. The entire movie slams to a halt as if it hit a brick wall. Ronan is completely dumbfounded. Gamora stares in confusion. Rocket and Drax have no idea what is going on. The civilians look absolutely puzzled. No one has any idea what the hell to do, or even say. Even the soundtrack immediately cuts out as if to say "What just happened?"
Ronan: What are you doing?
Quill: Dance-off bro, me and you.
(Quill continues gyrating in front of Ronan without giving a damn, even trying (and failing) to get Gamora to join in)
Ronan: What. Are. You. Doing?!
Quill: I'm distracting you, ya big turd blossom!
- Then there's Gamora's look of silent horror as she quickly refuses Quill's attempt to get her to follow his lead. When Quill motions to her, Ronan even looks over in genuine curiosity, still trying to figure out just what the eff is going on.
  Quill: [after Gamora refuses] Subtle, taking it back!

Rocket "Raccoon" and "I Am" Groot

Rocket and Groot's introductory moment as Those Two Bounty Hunters on Xandar:
Rocket: Don't drink fountain water, you idiot, that's disgusting!
Groot: [shakes his head]
Rocket: Yes you did. I just saw you doing it. Why are you lying?
[Rocket latches on to Star-Lord as a potential bounty, only to turn around and see Groot happily chugging from the fountain again]
- One of the people they scan looking for a bounty is Stan Lee, who is in the middle of hitting on an alien woman. Showing that even in a distant corner of the galaxy, Stan is still The Man.
- Rocket's comments about one fashionably-conscious Xanderian: "Look at this guy. How can they call us criminals when he's assaulting us with that haircut?"
- One person he scans is a little kid and we have this little gem from Rocket:
  "What is this thing? Look how it thinks it's so cool. It's not cool to get help! Walk by yourself, you little gargoyle!"
- Between Rocket's gadgets and Groot's powers, how do they restrain and transport bounties? By tossing them into a big sack that Groot slings over his shoulder.
- During the three way fight between Peter Quill, Gamora, Rocket and Groot, Rocket yells at Groot to grab "him", meaning Quill. Groot tries to grab Gamora instead.
Rocket: Learn genders, man!
- Rocket gets a giant taser as Quill gets out of the bag (tasing Gamora in the process) and tries to break for it.
Rocket: I live for the simple things. Like "how much is this gonna hurt?" [He fires. Quill falls and begins writhing on the ground] Yeah. Writhe, little man.
- Also the irony of Rocket calling Quill a "little man", when he's much smaller than Quill is.
Rocket practically orgasms when he gets his hands on a gun bigger than he is.
"Oh... yeah."
- Then he starts firing it all over the place and yelling, and Groot begins yelling right along with him.
- All hell is breaking loose in the Kyln as the inmates revolt and the guards try to regain control of the situation, but Rocket is cheerfully humming as he connects a guard's wrist computer to the Quarnex battery.
It turns out that Rocket didn't really need that prosthetic leg for the escape and just sent Quill to get it because he thought it'd be funny. He tries the same trick again later, this time with one of the Ravagers' robotic eyes.
Rocket: What did he look like hopping around?
- When Rocket explains to Quill that he needs the prisoner's prosthetic leg, he adds "Lord knows I don't need the rest of him, look at him, he's useless." If you also listen closely, you can hear Rocket trying to contain a chuckle when he says "prosthetic leg", trying not to give away his prank. There's also his delighted sniggering when a rather unimpressed Quill remarks he had to give the prisoner 30,000 units in exchange for the leg.
At one point during the escape, Rocket goes back for his clothes and complains, "They crumpled my pants into a ball, that's rude! They folded yours!"
At one point Peter sees Rocket taking parts off his ship while working on something. He goes over to look at it:
Peter: Yo yo yo, Ranger Rick! You can't take apart my ship without asking me! What is this?
Rocket: Don't touch that. It's a bomb.
Peter: A bomb?
Rocket: Yup!
Peter: And you leave it lying around?!
Rocket: I was gonna put it in a box! [pulls out a box]
Peter: What's a box gonna do?!
Rocket: [picks up Peter's present from his mother] How 'bout this one?
Peter: No. Whoa, hey, leave it alone. [Peter kicks the box back]
Rocket: Why, what is—
Peter: Shut. Up.
Rocket: Hey! [shakes his head]
Peter: What is that?
Rocket: That's for if things get REALLY hardcore. Or if you wanna blow up moons.
Gamora: No one's blowing up moons!
Rocket: You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.
Rocket's reaction upon realizing what Peter is suggesting they should do to the Necrocrafts. He has a "Eureka!" Moment and then next second the most vicious Hurting them will be so much fun look on his face.
Groot's utterly appalled D: expression, complete with shocked gasp, when Rocket mocks the deaths of Drax's family.
- Before that, Rocket has an expression of utter disbelief when he can't believe Gamora and Quill are still holding on to the Infinity Stone.
  - The way Rocket facepaws and voices his chagrin at the above just sells it.
  "WHAT DO YOU STILL HAVE IT FOOOOOOOOR!?"
  - Made even better: this is the tech genius who thinks it's cool to leave moon-exploding bombs lying around the deck (or possibly put it in a box), and even he is batshit terrified of what the stone can do.
Groot and Drax manage to guilt trip Rocket into helping them save Gamora and Quill from the Ravagers. His reaction is priceless.
Rocket: YOU'RE MAKING! ME! BEAT! UP! GRASS!
Rocket's grudgingly flippant reply once he sees everyone else, including Groot, have given heartfelt declarations of their support for Quill, even if it most likely means death.
Rocket: Ah, what the hell. I haven't got that long a lifespan anyway. [Rocket then stands up] Now I'm standing. Y'all happy? We're all standing up now. Bunch of jackasses standing in a circle.
- To make it even better, the "bunch of jackasses" line was apparently improvised.
Just when it looks like the team is going to have to deal with another whole squad of enemies after defeating Korath, Groot suddenly extends one of his arms out into a long vine that impales a whole row of mooks, using them as a bludgeon to batter the rest of the mob into submission, roaring like an enraged beast all the while and when he's done, looks back toward his companions with a huge, hopeful 'did I do good?' grin, pictured above.
- The fact that the aforementioned beatdown goes on for nearly thirty seconds with Groot repeatedly slamming them into walls and roaring the whole time.
- Drax's expression as Groot uses a group of mooks as a bludgeon. The childlike glee really sells it.
- Even though Quill is masked at the time, you could tell he's pretty much thinking WTF and even staring at Drax briefly as if to say "Please tell me I'm not the only one seeing this." Drax, for his part, just nods and keep smiling, as if to say "I know! Isn't it great?"
The first credits stinger is simply an adorably Overly Long Gag of Baby Groot (still a tiny twig in a pot) dancing to Peter's tape while an oblivious Drax polishes his weapons in the background. When Drax looks his way, he promptly freezes, only to resume dancing the moment Drax is no longer looking. He looks like a dashboard hula dancer doll, one of those dancing plant toys, or the Sunflower from Plants vs. Zombies.
- If you look carefully, Drax clearly saw Groot dancing through the reflection of his knives before he turned around.
- For maximum hilarity, here it is being acted out by Dave Bautista and Michael Rooker (in the role of Baby Groot) at a convention.
- There's also Fridge Funny because Vin Diesel did the motion capture work for Groot. Including his dancing.

Drax aka "The Destroyer"

The conversation about Drax and metaphors proves that the big guy is just as nutty as the rest of them.
Rocket: His people are completely literal. Metaphors are gonna go over his head.
Drax: Nothing goes over my head! My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it!
- What makes this even funnier is that by saying that metaphors "go over his head," Rocket was accidentally using a metaphor himself even as he was explaining how Drax couldn't understand them!
This exchange:
Gamora: I let you live once, princess.
Drax: I am not a princess!
Earlier, Peter tries to convince Drax not to kill Gamora.
Quill: She betrayed Ronan. He's coming back for her. And when he does, that's when you...[makes visual shorthand for slitting his throat]
Drax: Why would I put my finger on his throat?
Quill: What? Oh, no, it's a symbol. This is a symbol - for you slicing his throat.
Drax: I would not slice his throat. I would cut his head clean off.
Quill: It's a general expression for killing someone. [turns to other prisoner] You've heard of this, you've seen this, you know what this is, right?
Prisoner: Yeah, yeah—
Quill: Everyone knows.
[Drax shoots a Death Glare]
Prisoner: No, no.
- The funniest part is that the same prisoner had made a similar gesture at Gamora when he threatened to kill her earlier. So yes, he does know what it means.
This bit as Rocket is preparing their escape.
Rocket: I have a plan, I have a plan!
Drax: Cease your yammering and relieve us from this irksome confinement!
Quill: Yeah, I'll have to agree with the walking thesaurus on that one!
Drax: Do not ever call me a thesaurus.
The way Drax appropriates a knife from a prisoner. He's just so matter-of-fact about it.
Drax: I like your knife. I am keeping it.
Random Prisoner: That was my favourite knife.
Also, before joining the gang in the Watchtower, Drax refers to Quill as "One Who Has Lain With an Aaskavarian" (because that's the only thing he knows about Quill):
Quill: It was just one time, jeez.
As Rocket is fiddling with machinery to engineer their escape, Drax loudly realizes what kind of animal he is and claims that they make for some tasty meals.
Drax: I know this beast! We used to roast them over our fire pits as children. Their flesh is quite delicious!
Rocket: NOT! HELPING!
The fact that Drax basically drunk-dialed Ronan.
- Doubly hilarious when you realize that it is apparently possible to call whoever you want in this universe. You want a chat with the villain or the law enforcement who intends to arrest you? No problem, your call will connect even with photo!
- Triply hilarious is that this is right after the Guardians got screwed out of a massive bounty and were arguing on who to give the Infinity Stone to. They look to Ronan's troops and Drax triumphantly standing over to await them. Their reaction is priceless.
How about Drax's dismissal of Ronan's Mooks as "paper people"? Kraglin playfully slugs him in the shoulder in approval only for The Big Guy to shoot him an offended Death Glare. Kraglin's hilarious Oh, Crap! just sells it.
Drax laughing hysterically while the Milano is crash-landing inside the Dark Aster, careening around while bits of scrap fly off and enemies run everywhere. They're lucky to be alive when the ship finally slides to a stop. And Drax speaks:
Drax: YES! Ha ha ha ha!
Drax proudly proclaims that he feels good after a long time without friends.
Drax: You, Quill, are my friend.
Quill: Thanks.
Drax: This dumb tree, he is my friend.
Groot: [unintelligible grunting]
Drax: This green whore, she too is my—
Gamora: OH, YOU MUST STOP!
Shortly after the above, Drax nails Nebula with a missile mid-rant because she insulted Gamora.
Drax: Nobody talks to my friends like that.
Drax gets his hands on Korath, says, "Finger to the throat means death!" then rips out his cybernetics. Then he turns to Quill.
Drax: Metaphor.
Quill: Sorta.
Drax comforting Rocket after Groot's Heroic Sacrifice while also heartwarming, ranks as one, because while it is genuinely touching, a huge man petting a raccoon on the head is just hilarious. And Rocket's reaction to it is priceless, because he looks so genuinely stunned this is really happening.
- Also consider Rocket's thoughts during the petting. Head-stroking is usually reserved for animals and pets, which he adamantly denied he was throughout the film. But it just feels so nice and comforting that he doesn't speak up about it.
  - If the scene is seen carefully you can see that Rocket lowers his fluffy tail a little, subtly, in a way that recalls the reaction of a domestic dog being petted.

Gamora

Gamora's increasingly frustrated expression throughout the prison escape. It comes to a head in the watchtower.
Gamora: I'm gonna die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.
When Quill almost seduces Gamora, she pulls back at the last second and yells "I know who you are, Peter Quill! And I am not some starry-eyed waif here to succumb to your... your...pelvic sorcery!"
- Funniest part is that she's still wearing the headphones and is shouting because of the music.
- Just the fact that she was already shouting before that.
When the Collector's assistant tries to use the Infinity Stone to kill her boss, Gamora's face rising from the wreckage beside Quill.
After they're both rescued from dying in space, Gamora rolls her eyes when Quill gets carried away praising himself for saving her.

...and Everyone Else

Nova Prime calling the Kree ambassador a prick after he refuses to publicly denounce Ronan's terrorist actions. Her whole character is the epitome of a dignified, decorated leader for the Nova Corps and even she falls victim to this movie's sense of humor.
- Just the fact that the Kree ambassador's Kinect gesture to cut the transmission is a "shut it" gesture.
The booking pictures as the future Guardians are arrested by the Nova Corps for starting a fight in public.
- Rocket, due to his short stature, barely gets his head into the frame.
- Groot is described as Rocket's "houseplant / muscle" and tries to get closer to the camera.
- Quill flips the bird during his mugshot.
  - His record shows his name as "Space-Lord".
  - His criminal record includes one count of fraud, two counts of public intoxication, one count of assault, and one count of "Illegal Manipulation of Gramosian Duchess".
Saal: What a bunch of a-holes.
The Broker shooing Quill out of his shop, and closing the shutters with the hand gesture for "no deal, no nothing, now blow off, buh-bye".
The Collector's excited reaction (shortly followed by Rocket mockingly mimicking the gesture) when the Power Stone is in his possession.
- When they meet with the Collector, Quill dramatically presents the Orb to him and drops it, complete with the music cutting off suddenly.
  - Even funnier because, according to the commentary track, it was not scripted; Chris Pratt actually dropped the prop on-set.
Benicio del Toro is a riot, from his eager offer to collect Groot (after he's dead, of course) to his dismissive reaction to Rocket.
The Collector: [to Groot] That your pet?
Rocket: His WHAT?!
- The Collector offers to pay Groot for the right to collect Groot's carcass (once he's dead, of course). Groot just shrugs, and replies in a tone that says, "Sure, why not?" Of course, killing him is much harder than one would expect.
A minor, blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment happens just as Ronan and Nebula depart for the Kyln. Ronan looks over his shoulder at Thanos, who just moments ago said "[Ronan's] demeanor is that of a pouty child". It can be hard to see due to the makeup, but if you look closely at his mouth, Ronan is jutting his chin out just like a pouty child would. Thanos was right on the money with that remark, and his grin after Ronan walks away might indicate he noticed it as well!
Quill's message to the Nova Corps (so they don't get, you know, arrested and/or shot).
Rhomann: He says he's an... a-hole, but he's not—and I'm quoting here—one hundred percent a dick.
Nova Prime: And do you believe him?
Rhomann: Well, I don't know that I believe that anyone's one hundred percent a dick, ma'am—
Nova Prime: [with an exasperated expression] I mean, do you believe that he's here to help?
- The picture of Quill that appears on Dey's screen when the message is sent.
- When the Nova Corp shows up to support the Ravagers, Quill just cheerily says "They got my dick message!"
Yondu and Kraglin musing that Quill turned out all right and that they made the right decision to "adopt" him instead of handing him over to his father, whom Yondu calls a "jackass". Though it becomes Harsher in Hindsight when the sequel comes around and... let's just say he wasn't kidding.
The fact that Howard the Duck, of all people, makes a cameo in the film.
"Why do you let it [Cosmo] lick you like that? Gross."
- Howard being an item in The Collector's collection. You just know there's a hilarious story behind that.
- Plus, the credit to the character's creators had to be placed after this scene so the surprise wouldn't be ruined, with the effect of ramming the point home that yes, you just saw that.
- Several bloggers have pointed out that the introduction of Denser and Wackier elements is even more bizarre when you consider the unified timeline - it means that while Tony Stark was building a suit IN A CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!, before the MCU introduced anything genuinely fantastical, Howard was still presumably futzing around way off on the other side of the galaxy.
At the end of the credits: "No raccoons or tree creatures were harmed during the making of this film."
While Yondu searches through the Broker's store for the Orb, he starts looking at some knickknacks, claiming that he likes to put them on his control console all in a row for display. This just seems like a ploy to get the Broker to lower his defenses but during the final assault, we see the row of decorations right next to him, including the blue thingy he was eyeing at the store.
- When the Broker doesn't believe Yondu, Kraglin swiftly asserts that Yondu's being serious.
- And when Yondu's admiring the frog-like knickknack, Kraglin's usually stoic face is shown to be nothing short of exasperated by his captain's obsession.
  Yondu: Look at its eyes. It follows you wherever you go. Hee hee hee! You can't fool it!
  - As an almost unnoticed Brick Joke, Quill gives Yondu yet another dashboard knickknack, an 80's Troll Doll, instead of the Infinity Stone — and Yondu gets a big grin on his face when it's revealed. Double points because this means Yondu got trolled.
- From the same scene, every time the Broker tries to explain why he can't tell Yondu more about the Orb, Yondu starts babbling gibberish as his way of saying he hasn't got time for excuses.
Broker: Sir, the high-end community is a—
Yondu: Obelele-bole-bole-bo.
Broker: (Beat) The high-end community is a very tight—
Yondu: Obelele-mobele-bo!
Broker: It's a tight-knit—
Yondu: Bobelo.
Broker: ... tight-knit—
Yondu: Obe-bole!
Broker: [sounding much more distraught] The high-end community is a very tight-knit—
Yondu: Obole-bo-bole!
- Behind him, Kraglin begins corpsing until he out and out laughs at the way Yondu's screwing with the Broker.
- Even better: the weird sounds Yondu makes were totally improvised by Michael Rooker. The marvel isn't that Sean Gunn (Kraglin) corpses, it's that Christopher Fairbank (the Broker) doesn't.
Lloyd Kaufman's cameo as one of the prisoners, for those viewers that recognize him.
After Yondu crashes onto Xandar, one of Ronan's goons tries to get him to tell the Ravagers to turn on the Nova Corp. Yondu answers by mopping the field of them with his arrow. As it flies back into his hand and he re-holsters it, his expression says, "Never tell me what to do!"
Denarian Saal is less than thrilled at taking orders from Rocket.
Saal: [rolls his eyes, totally deadpan] I can't believe I'm taking orders from a hamster.
When Yondu has Quill at his mercy, he tells Quill that his has to teach his crew what happens to people who cross him. For the benefit of crew members in the back that may not have heard him, Kraglin shouts "captain's gotta teach stuff!"
Near the end of the film, Nebula hijacks a Ravager's ship after escaping an imminent Disney Death. After she breaks the windshield, the scene cuts to a wide shot where only the ship is visible, and we hear Nebula growl "Get out!", at which point the poor pilot is suddenly flung out of the craft and falls unceremoniously, flailing comically, out of the picture.

Funny / Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

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Funny / Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

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