Dragon Ball Z Abridged: Namek/Freeza Saga / Funny

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"YAAAAAAAAYYYYY—"

Between Freeza's personality, Vegeta's Sanity Slippage, Ghost Nappa, Super Kami Guru, and the Muffin Button, there's a good reason why the Namek Saga is widely agreed to be the show's Growing the Beard moment.

Warning: Spoilers Off applies to these pages. Proceed at your own risk.

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Episode 11: Looks Like the Z-Warriors Are Blasting Off Again!

The opening exchange between Goku and Roshi:
Roshi: Hey there Goku. How goes the recovery?
Goku: Well, the doctor says I have to be here for a couple months, what with the crushed legs, shattered ribs, and the brain damage. And the brain damage. And the brain damage. Oh hey, Master Roshi, when did you get here?
Gohan's extreme calling out to his mother,
Chi-Chi: Well, all I know is that my little boy isn't going anywhere.
Gohan: Actually... Mom... I'm going to Namek.
Chi-Chi: (strained) As... I... Said. My little boy (now angry) ISN'T... GOING... ANYWHERE!!
Gohan: But, mom! Piccolo died for me! It's my responsibility!
Chi-Chi: Gohan, I am your mother! And as your mother, you will listen to me and you will do as I say!
Gohan: But that's not...
Chi-Chi: Did you carry around a baby in you for nine months... WITH A MAN WHO LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU HAD CINNA-BUNS HIDDEN IN YOUR SHIRT?!
Gohan: But I...
Chi-Chi: Now you are going to lay in this hospital bed! Recover like a normal boy! And then, you're going right back to your advanced trig classes, AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL…!
Gohan: (pissed) SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!!!
(Beat)
Gohan: (calm) I'll be going to Namek now.
Chi-Chi: (calm, too) You'd best. (slams door as she leaves the hospital)
Everything Mr. Popo says.
- Goku's failed attempt at borrowing Popo's magic flying carpet.
  Mr. Popo: "MAKIN' TOAST! [...] BUTTERIN' TOAST!"
- And his explanation for how the carpet travels so fast.
  Mr. Popo: That carpet gets 10,000 miles to the soul.
  Bulma: What?
  Mr. Popo: The gallon.
Mr. Popo tells the heroes what he's here for.
Mr. Popo: (smiling) Everyone listen up, if you want to get those other useless maggots back.
Krillin: (excited) You mean you can get our friends back?!
Mr. Popo: (still smiling, the sky turns red) SHUT UP, MAGGOT!
Krillin: (terrified) Yessir!
Season 2 gives us Goku's reaction to Popo.
- Case in point, the doctors end up having to sedate Goku with Clorox.
When it turns out someone needs to go with Popo to find the Namekian ship:
Bulma: Well, I think the only way to fairly decide on this is to have a democratic vote—
Krillin: Bulma!
Roshi: Bulma.
Korin: Bulma.
Gohan: Bulma.
Yajirobe: Bulma.
Ox King: You, Bulma!
Goku: (incomprehensible gurgling that probably means "Bulma.")
- Bulma does her best to opt out from going with Popo.
  Bulma: Ha! We don't need your help! I've got right here a remote control for one of the crashed Saiyan ships! All I have to do is put in these coordinates and— (presses a few buttons and causes Nappa's pod to explode)
  Announcer: CRITICAL FAILURE.
  Mr. Popo: Well, well, well. Look who just ran out of options.
Mr. Popo's explanation for why simply shouting his name makes the spaceship do whatever he wants it to do at the time.
Mr. Popo: It just knows better.
- Turns out it works for everyone else too.
Bulma believes that Popo is coming with them as their pilot.
Krillin: OH DEAR GOD!
Mr. Popo: No.
Krillin: OH THANK GOD!
- And his reasoning for not coming with?
  Mr. Popo: If I was going to do it myself, why would I need you?
- And then he parts with this line:
  Mr. Popo: See you when you get back! Except... this season... (focuses on Krillin) you. (vanishes)
  Krillin: Huh. Wonder what he meant by that.
While Bulma and Dr Briefs are fixing the Namekian ship.
Bulma: Hey Dad, how are things coming along?
Briefs: Well I'm working on your translator but all I can get it to do is translate the Namekian into another language I don't understand.
Toilet: といれであります!^noteI am a toilet!
Briefs: Damn moon speak!
- Later on.
  Krillin: So, you sure this thing's ready to fly?
  Bulma: Yep, I've gotten everything worked out. Well, except for one thing. We couldn't fix the translator for the toilet.
  Toilet: Ich bin gefüllt mit Pisswasser!^noteI am full of pisswater!
Gohan's arrival on the take-off day results in a Three Stooges Shout-Out:
Krillin: (highly amused) What happened to your hair? You look like a young Moe Howard!
Gohan: Well, look who's talking, Curly!
Krillin: Why, I oughta...!
Bulma: Clam it, chowderheads! We gotta get going.

Episode 12: A Rose By Any Other Namek

Krillin's inner monologue at the start of the episode:
Krillin: Krillin's Log, stardate... uh... November 28th. We've been flying for two weeks now, and I'm starting to feel very tensed up. Not just for being trapped on the ship of course, but from Bulma walking around in nothing but her underwear! I would relieve this tension, but I've had no alone time as the toilet KEEPS SCREAMING AT ME!!
Toilet: Scheißen sie auf meinem gesicht!^noteShit on my face!
Krillin: I'm not sure how much longer I can last...
Bulma: Krillin, are you saying something?
Krillin: Nothing! (muttering) God-damned *beep*tease...!
The Fake Namekians are funnier than the source material. Exploiting the already existing similarities is hilarious enough, but the voice-over work is extremely spot-on even given the standards of this series, and the TFS-style editing only amplifies each punchline. The moment the viewer realizes they are expies of Emory and Oglethorpe from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of these in a meta sense.
Dr. Birdenheim working on Vegeta and talking about "delicious, magical science".
Vegeta's Tranquil Fury to the doctor:
Vegeta: Tell me something, which is your favorite internal organ?
Dr. Birdenheim: What a odd question! But if I had to choose I guess I have to say my liver.
(Vegeta's shadow walks over him and cuts away while the doctor screams in agony as Vegeta doubtlessly removes said liver)
Vegeta realizing how Freeza found out about the dragon balls.
Cui: The scouter was on the entire time!
Vegeta: That's impossible, my transmitter was off the entire time! Whose scouter was... (eyes focus, cuts away to him riding a space pod screaming) GODDAMMIT NAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
When Krillin hears the fake Namekians talk about their penises:
Krillin: Wait a second! Namekians don't HAVE penises!
After waking up:
Krillin: (thinking out loud, and the screen is black) Oh...oh god, that was, terrifying.
Mr. Popo: (showing up) I'll say.
Krillin: NOOOOOOOOOO—
- And then a shift to live action:
  KaiserNeko: (wakes up) Oh man... I have gotta stop editing so late...
  (his computer screen goes black, before Popo's face appears on it)
  Mr. Popo: I'll say.
  (cue short perfectly-cut scream from Kaiser)

Episode 13: Dr. Briefs Made This Episode in a Cave...WITHABOXOFSCRAPS!

The narrator's description of Namek echoing the opinion of the fanbase:
Narrator: [...] Planet Namek. Where the sky is green, the grass is blue, and it's boring as sh*t.
Every line uttered by Krillin in this episode.
(After successfully hiding from the onslaught of Freeza's forces.)
Gohan: Krillin, they have the Dragon Balls!
Krillin: Yes, Gohan, I noticed.
Gohan: Did you feel their power levels? They were all as strong as Vegeta!
Krillin: Yes, Gohan, I noticed!
Gohan: But that one guy at the front; he was like a 100 Vegetas!
Krillin: Yes, Gohan, I noticed! On the bright side, I no longer have to pee anymore.
Krillin screaming in terror when Vegeta lands on Namek. The screaming lasts for the entire scene with Vegeta, and only gets louder when Vegeta spots Cui's ship.
The death of the toilet, which is only because Freeza's minions are so bad at aiming.
Roshi, on the telephone: "Could you speak up? I'm not wearing any pants."
After dealing with Bulma being a total cocktease on the ship, Krillin... releases some tension and takes ten whole minutes for it. When Bulma goes into the cave to set up camp...
Bulma: OH GOD, IT'S EVERYWHERE!
Roshi delivering the news of whats going on on Namek to Goku in the hospital.
Roshi: And not only is Vegeta on the planet, but apparently someone else is there, even stronger than him! So in short, shit be whack, yo!
Goku: Fo' shizzle, Master Rizzle!
Goku referring to senzu beans as "sweet, science-y magic".
For once, Nimbus doesn't arrive quite on cue:
Goku: Nimbus! (to Roshi and Yajirobe) Later, guys! (jumps from window) Nimbus? Numb—? Oh, crapohjesus—! (crash sound and a car alarm going off) I'm okay. (sound of Nimbus arriving) Oh, there he is!
Roshi: (sighs)''
The final moments of the episode, narrated by LittleKuriboh:
Narrator: A new evil has revealed its face. Who are these mysterious enemies, and do Gohan and Krillin stand a chance? The answers to these questions will be revealed... right now. Zarbon, Dodoria, Freeza, and Oh My, No.
Krillin: Wait, wha—?
(credits)

Episode 14: No Country for Old Namekians

Krillin engaging in some unnecessary distraction while he and Gohan are staking out Freeza's shakedown of a Namekian village:
Krillin: QUACK!!
- Oh, the joke goes much farther than that. Originally, in order to avoid being caught by Dodoria, Krillin pretends to be a space duck by yelling "Quack!" over and over.
  Dodoria: What a majestic creature.
- After being caught, he yells a parting quack as he and Gohan take Dende away.
  Freeza: ... Zarbon, what the hell was that?
  Zarbon: I believe that was the space duck, sir.
Every response from Freeza and co. when the Namekian villagers did something to anger them.
Namekian Elder: What do you want from us? Why are you slaughtering our people?
Freeza: (politely) Well, you see, I was just in the area and I thought this would be a delightful place for a summer home—(irritated) What the f*** do you think we're here for?
Namekian Elder: ... Our trees?
Freeza: ... Zarbon, two or three more.
Zarbon: Two or three more?
Freeza: Two or three more.
Freeza making a mental list of the cliches used in every heroic speech he hears.
Namekian: We're going... to... f*** your face!
Freeza: (laughs) Oh my! ...Twelve.
- The added Fridge Logic of the idea that he has actually heard that line eleven other times.
Goku and Mrs. Briefs
Goku: Hi Mrs. Briefs.
Mrs. Briefs: Oh Goku, you can call me what everyone else does.
Goku: What's that?
Mrs. Briefs: Milf.
The muffin button. That is all.
Goku: This ship is awesome! Now, where's that button that makes blueberry muffins?
Dr. Briefs: There is no button like that. I never even considered it.
Goku: Are you sure? It'd be really nice to wake in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. That'd be great. Wink wink?
Dr. Briefs: Dammit, there is no muffin button!
Goku: Darn.
Dr. Briefs' explanation of the control panel to Goku with a warning so repetitive it almost seems like Shmuck Bait:
Briefs: Make sure not to touch anything... Like the gravity controls... Or the start button. ...The start button. Don't touch... the start button.
- And of course as soon as he steps outside, Goku immediately presses the start button.
Dr. Briefs' Stay in the Kitchen lines to Mrs. Briefs.
Briefs: Honey, I do not see a sandwich with that beer.
Gohan has had enough when Dodoria is about to kill Dende:
Krillin: Breathe, Gohan! You're a leaf. A leaf in a calm stream!
Gohan: (pissed) F██K THE STREAM!
Dodoria's reaction to getting surprise-attacked by Gohan:
Dodoria: Did I just get hit by a bowl cut?
Krillin saying Freeza looks like a F.A.G.(Freaky Alien Genotype), Gohan's confusion over it and Krillin being shocked over Freeza being a guy.

Episode 15: Dodoria Drop

Goku has blasted off into space.
Dr. Briefs: You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates for Namek, but you, (Goku has a muffin) you... Where did you get that muffin?
Goku: Muffin button.
Dr. Briefs: But... I... never installed a muffin button.
Goku: (thoughtfully) Then where did I get this muffin...?
Freeza and Zarbon talking about Dodoria's progress, and the cuts to how it's going;
Zarbon: So, how do you think Dodoria's doing?
Freeza: We're talking about one of my finest soldiers. There's no way they'll escape Dodoria's grasp.
(Cut to Dodoria grasping Krillin who then headbutts Dodoria and escapes)
Dodoria: Ah, dammit!
Zarbon: But what if they have any tricks up their sleeve?
Freeza: Come now, Zarbon. We both know Dodoria would never let them out of sight.
Krillin: Solar Flare! (Blinding light, with Freeza's head photoshopped over a muscular body, causes Dodoria to lose sight of Gohan and Krillin)
Dodoria: Ah, dammit!!
Zarbon: Still, sir, we have to remember that Vegeta is on the planet.
Freeza: Oh, please! Like Vegeta could even lay a hand on Dodoria.
(Cut to Dodoria being knocked into the water by a suddenly-appearing Vegeta)
Dodoria: Ahh, dammiiiiiiit!!!
Before this we see Freeza being tranquilly sarcastic before he urges Dodoria to get after the Earthlings.
Freeza: Good to see you're still conscious, Dodoria. Oh, and just so you know, it's not a big deal or anything you might want to get on this one but THEY'RE GETTING AWAY, YOU FAT BASTARD!!!
Vegeta's reaction to Dodoria's true gender:
Vegeta: What.
Dodoria: I said I am a woman!!
*Beat*
Vegeta: WHAT!?!?!
- What compounds the hilarity is that the second "What" sounds like (and probably is) Lanipator's real voice.
  - And this:
    Dodoria: And that's why I was considered the most beautiful, and fertile, woman on my home planet. Before Freeza blew it up.
    Vegeta: He tends to do that. Also, huuuugh.
    Later...
    Dodoria: W-w-wait! You and I... we could team up against Freeza! Rule the Universe! ... as husband and wife!
Freeza's twitter. And Cooler's answer right below.
Most of what Dende says, but particularly this exchange.
Dende: Mr. Gohan, those things on that person's chest— what are they?
Gohan: Oh, on Bulma? Those are breasts.
Dende: They look lovely. I wish to nestle between them.
In The Stinger, Goku picks some music for his training montage. After passing on Paul Stanley's Live to Win, Gotta Fly Now and Montage, he ends up settling on Cooking By The Book.

Episode 16: Vam qan Namek

The beginning. The audience knows what's about to happen, and the happy music and cheerful outlook of the Namekians make the coming slaughter of them by Vegeta all the more hilarious.
The elder Namekian there is voiced by Linkara.
The flashback of Freeza and Zarbon's conversation in which Freeza observes how badly things have been going on Namek.
Freeza: You know, Zarbon, I'm starting to think that my people don't know what I pay them for.
Zarbon: You don't pay us.
Freeza: (hurriedly) Allow them to live for. I mean first we lose... what was his name?
Zarbon: Kiwi?
Freeza: Ah, Kiwi. Then we lose all of our scouters, and now Dodoria's dead? I'm sorry, but if this sh*t goes any further south, we're going to hit Space Mexico.
Zarbon: What is it you want me to do, Lord Freeza?
Freeza: What I want YOU to do is pull up your frilly stockings, tighten your thong, and stop being such a...
Vegeta: (back to the present) Pansy!
Zarbon: Wha-? (bumps into Vegeta) Vegeta! How dare you ram into me while I'm thinking about Lord Freeza and my thong!
Vegeta: Yeah, just going to ignore that one entirely...
This exchange when Zarbon transforms.
Zarbon: I should warn you, though: this form is entirely different from me in every way.
(Zarbon hulks out)
Zarbon: IMMA RAPE YA, BITCH!
Vegeta: To be perfectly honest, you're not that different, you're just a lot less subtle about i—(Zarbon rushes Vegeta)—OHMYGOD!
- Listen in the background of that scene: you can hear the sound of a train as Zarbon rushes Vegeta.
Anything Guru said in the episode 16...
Guru: I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass chee—(sees Krillin and pauses for a moment) Naaaaaail. There is an albino Namekian in here. Kill it like the rest.
Krillin: Actually sir, I'm from Earth.
Guru: ... Kill it like the rest.
[...]
Guru: [Take the Dragon Ball]. Just don't steal the TV.
Nail: Sir, we... we don't have a television.
Guru: ... Naaaaail. Gather the rest of the Dragon Balls and wish for a plasma TV.
Nail: Sir, that would be a grievous misuse of their power.
Guru: I'm about to misuse my hand upside your heeeeaaaad!
[...]
Guru: So, the son of Katas has passed. Unfortunate.
Krillin: We just called him Kami.
Guru: Oh, so he calls himself God. Pretentious priiick. Nail.
Nail: What?
Guru: I shall henceforth be known as: Super Kami.
Nail: Yes, Super Kami.
Guru: No, wait— Super Kami Guru.
Nail: Can I just call you Guru for short?
Guru: Super Kami Guru allows this.
[...]
Guru: Nail... prepare to retrieve the Dragon Ball... and the body.
This exchange:
Krillin: Aw, you made a friend, Little Green? Oh, I know, I'm gonna call you "Big Green"!
Nail: Call me that again and I'll snap your neck.
Krillin: With that attitude, I don't think you should be friends with him, Little Green.
Nail: Listen, I don't care where you come from or who you are, I will not put up with such disrespe-
Guru: BIG GREEEEN! Get in here...
Nail: (irritated) Oh, good... goddamnit!'
Krillin telling Dende about karma while Vegeta is being beaten up by a transformed Zarbon
Krillin: Huh. Hey, Little Green, do you believe in Karma?
Dende: What is that?
Krillin: Well, you see, Karma is where if you do something good...
(Cut to Zarbon beating up Vegeta): URGH!
Krillin: ... something good happens to you! And if you do something bad...
(Cut to Vegeta getting even more beaten by Zarbon): GAAH!
Krillin: ... something bad happens to you.
Dende: So, if I am good enough, then I can have my family back.
Krillin: Are you still on about that?
(Cut to Vegeta about to get finished, heh, by Zarbon): NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (boom)
- Which leads to this:
  (emerges from water gasping for air)
  Vegeta: (groggily) Why did I explode...?
Freeza pointing out the Villain Ball of Zarbon's choice.
Zarbon: Lord Freeza, the dirty deed has been done.
Freeza: Ah, very good. It’s nice to see there’s still somebody I can rely on.
Zarbon: Oh, he barely put up a fight after I transformed. Now that he’s dead, we have very little left to worry about.
Freeza: (sucks his teeth) Zarbon, about an hour ago, a scout informed me that an entire village was completely destroyed. Do you possibly know who could have done that?
Zarbon: Ve... Vegeta.
Freeza: Aaaand, unlike all the other villages we visited so far, there was no Dragon Ball there. Do you know who could have possibly taken it?
Zarbon: Vegeta.
Freeza: Veeeery good! Now, use your brain for this one, Zarbon. If somebody were to know where that Dragon Ball was, who would it be?
Zarbon: Vegeta—
Freeza: Vegeta, yes. And you said you... killed him?
Zarbon: Wait, sir! It is possible I just left him unconscious!
Freeza: Oh, good. And where did you leave him?
Zarbon: ... At the bottom of a lake...
Freeza: ... Minion forty-three, would you come in here for a second? I need an example.
Nemole: Private Nemole reporting. An example of what, Lord Freez— (is blown into atoms) AAAAAAAHHHAAAH!
Freeza: You see that, Zarbon? That’s you if Vegeta is not in front of me in the next ten minutes.
Zarbon: Uh... uuuhhh...!
Freeza: [calmly] Bye.
Zarbon: (flies out) AAAAAAAHHHH!
In The Stinger (exclusive to their website, but can also be seen here), King Kai breaks off their training because Yamcha mis-pronounced "Kaioken" using the Ocean Group-era pronunciation of "Kay-o-ken".
Tien: Freakin' weeaboo.
- Leading up to this, King Kai congratulates everyone for making so much progress in their training...
King Kai: ...Except for Yamcha.
Yamcha: What the hell?! But I waxed off everything!^note I waxed off your car! I waxed off your house! I even waxed off your monkey!^noteBubbles
Piccolo: Okay, I just started paying attention; what?

Episode 17: A Lovely Bunch of Dragon Balls

Vegeta has a nice dream after Zarbon's beating
(We open to Vegeta standing in front of Shenron)
Vegeta: Finally! I've gathered all seven Dragon Balls!
Shenron: State your wish...
Vegeta: Dragon! Grant me immortality!
Shenron: (Eyes glow) Your wish is granted.
Vegeta: Yes! I've done! I'm finally the strongest in all the universe! (Cackles insanely)
(Cut to Zarbon looking over the unconscious Vegeta)
Vegeta: (groggily) I'm unstoppable...
Zarbon: Oh, how cute. He's having a little dream.
(Vegeta whimpers while moving his leg like a dog having a dream)
Vegeta: (groggily) My power is maximum... ^note
Vegeta stealing the Dragon Balls.
Vegeta: I've got a lovely bunch of Dragon Balls, dodododoodo, here they are all sitting in a bunch, do doo do. One Star, Two Star, all as big as my head! Give em a toss, a planet across, that's how Vegeta wins, BUH-BYE!
And after that, him hiding in the water, complete with submarine noises:
Vegeta: Later, bitches. *awoooga! awoooga!*
The glorious return of Ghost Nappa:
Ghost Nappa: (whistles) Is this thing on? Is it on? (tuning noises) OK, there we go! A-HA-HEM!! You are now thinking about what Zarbon did to you while you were unconscious. Have fun with that.
Freeza and Zarbon's Innocent Innuendo. Let this be a lesson to you, kids: context is EVERYTHING.
Freeza: Ginyu, hurry up; double time! Zarbon really screwed the pooch on this one!
Zarbon: Lord Freeza! Vegeta's really giving us a pounding!
Freeza: I'm coming Zarbon! Quick, grab my balls!
Beat
Ginyu Force: (uproar of laughter)
Krillin and later Gohan: I got a Dragon Ball~!
Krillin Tempting Fate pretty badly.
Krillin: At least we have a Dragon Ball!
* Vegeta lands*
Vegeta: Hi there! I'm taking your Dragon Ball.
- And of course:
  Vegeta: All I have to do now is stay under the radar, and not fly around like a jackass saying—
  Krillin: I've got a Dragon Ball!
  Vegeta: …I was gonna say "come and get me Freeza", but that works too!
  - Which is promptly followed by:
    Zarbon: Maybe Lord Freeza won't find me if I just lay low and don't fly around like a jackass saying—
    Vegeta: Come to papa, you bald bastard!
    Zarbon: …I was going to say "come and get me Freeza", but that works too!
Bulma being distracted by Zarbon.
Bulma: Oh my God he's so hot! I just want to grab him and —
(Cut to Goku doing upside-down crunches)
Goku: -sixty nine, seventy, seventy-
Vegeta: -one time you've defeated me, Zarbon. And that's one time too many.
Vegeta questions Zarbon on whether on he was molested in his sleep and we get this exchange.
Zarbon: The last time we fought, you were barely alive when I retrieved your body.
Vegeta: That reminds me. Did you do anything to me while I was unconscious?
Zarbon: Did... [narrows eyes] Did I what?
Vegeta: Did you do anything to me while I was unconscious?
Zarbon: What?! No! God, no!
Vegeta: Oh, thank God! I ju... (eyes widen) Wait, what do you mean by that. AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!
Zarbon: Alright Vegeta, I'm gonna be totally honest with you. This is sounding really gay.
(Vegeta stammers in confusion and embarrassment)
Zarbon: Not That There's Anything Wrong with That!
(Beat)
Vegeta: (totally defeated) Just... Just transform, damn you.
Bulma: (while Zarbon is transforming) We're gonna live in a penthouse suite, and we'll drive a Corvette, and we'll make love every single- (Zarbon finishes transforming) Kill it with fire!!
Goku: "I'm gonna beat someone up!" and "I'm gonna beat him up!" and "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
Zarbon is straight and acts really surprised if someone calls him gay. And even so, Zarbon still acts like he's gay.
Zarbon: Lord Freeza, I really need to use the Space Skype.
Freeza: Zarbon, what could possibly be so important that you need to interrupt me during my call?
Zarbon: Well, I need to call my girlfriend.
Freeza: Well, I—(glances over his shoulder in shock) Ginyu, I'll call you back. (disconnects Space Skype and drops back down to floor level) ...Come again?
Zarbon: You see, our one-year anniversary is coming up, and I want to see where she wants to go so we can make reservations early.
Freeza: Oh... and all this time I could've sworn you were... never mind.
Zarbon: What? You thought I was single?
Freeza: Well, no, I just... I thought you were into... you know, it really doesn't matter.
Zarbon: Well it matters to me, because, frankly it sounds like you thought I was—
Random Minion: Lord Freeza! Vegeta's broken out of the healing— TAAAAANK! (dies by ki blast)
Freeza: (rapidly) Oh no that minion died, could you go fix that? We'll continue this conversation never.
Zarbon: ...Did he say something about Vegeta?
Freeza: What?
(explosion)
Freeza: Zarbon, who did you leave guarding him?
(Cut to the wrecked lab and what's left of Appule)
Freeza: APPULE?! You left Appule here?!
Zarbon: Well I thought he could handle it!
Freeza: Appule couldn't handle a shot of raspberry schnapps, much less Vegeta!
- Vegeta's final words to Zarbon as he prepares to shoot a hole through his stomach. Doubly funny due to Zarbon's confused expression:
  Vegeta: Now let me put this in a way you'll understand; I'm about to blow my load all over your insides.
  Zarbon: What the-
  Vegeta: -No homo. [Va-VOOM].
  - And then what he says after he dies:
    Vegeta: Freaky Alien Genotype.
- After Freeza and Zarbon find that Vegeta has escaped:
  Zarbon: Lord Freeza, I found a note!
  Freeza: Let me see that! *reads note* It just says "Dear Freeza", and it's a picture of a butt.
  Zarbon: ...Can I see it, Lord Freeza?
  Freeza: VEGETA. DRAGON BALLS. NOW!
King Kai's telepathic "call" to Goku.
King Kai: Hello Goku? Do you hear me? I swear to God, if this is George Takei again, I'm gonna shove a brick up the Verizon guy's ass!
Goku: King Kai?
- King Kai then proceeds to order Goku to stay away from Freeza, warning him about his incredible power. Goku gets more and more excited about the prospect of fighting him until King Kai makes Goku promise not to do so.
  Goku: Oh all right. I absolutely promise not to...click beeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
  King Kai: What the-
  Goku:... eeeeeeee *gasp* eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
  King Kai: He... he hung up on me! How the hell did he even do that?!? Damn it, I'll call him back! *dialing sounds* Goku, I swear to God I will ride your ass on this one!
  George Takei: Oh my!
  King Kai: DAMN IT, TAKEI!
The exchange between Zarbon and Appule:
Zarbon: Why isn't he naked?
Appule: Luckily we... what.
Zarbon: In the healing tank. I always thought you needed to be nude.
Appule: Wh-... why would you think that?
Zarbon: You know, to... absorb all the healing... juices.
Appule: (stares uncomfortably at Zarbon)
Zarbon: (rapidly) Well, it looks like you have everything under control here! (quickly takes his leave)
Beat
Appule: ... Freaks me the f*** out!
Appule goofing off instead of paying attention to Vegeta's vitals, and playing Tenkaichi 3 - as himself against Bardock.
Appule: This one's for Eachpe!
Guru telling Dende how old he is in the stinger:
Dende: Guru sir, I have a question.
Guru: Ask away.
Dende: You've been around for so long. Just how old are you?
Guru: I am this many. [doesn't move]
Dende: You didn't raise your hand.
Guru: THAT'S HOW OLD I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!

Episode 18: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Saiyan

The episode's first scene, when Krillin is trying to keep Vegeta from taking the Dragon Ball:
Krillin: So, um... You seem like a... busy man, so..
Vegeta: Oh yeah, killing people! And I'm about to become immortal.
Krillin: Well, we don't want to keep you so I guess we'll be seeing ya!
Vegeta: Yep, and I've still got a lot to take care of and I—
(Vegeta laughs at the realization of Krillin's tactic)
Vegeta: Oh, wait a minute, nice try. (eyes narrowed) Give me the Dragon Ball.
Krillin: (wimpers, and hands the ball over)
The first 9 sec. here, in which Vegeta and Gohan were singing the same song, while each had one of the Dragon Balls.
Vegeta and Gohan: (internally) Don't stop me, NOOO~OOW!
I'm having such a good time. I'm holding this ball!
Can't stop me NOOO~OOW!
(each suddenly senses the other and stops singing)
What the—?!"
Vegeta discovers the Dragon Ball he hid away is missing. This irritates him. The extent to how much results in The Scream to end all screams.
- Worth noting is that the scream (and related gags) ran from 4:52 to 5:45, nearly a full minute devoted to just the scream.
  Vegeta: (diving into a lake to retrieve his stashed away Dragon Ball) God, I love it when a plan comes together! Took some time, effort, and lots of bodies, but now it's mine. Immortality is my bitch! Now, it should be right here...riiiight here... Where the hell is it? It couldn't have gone anywhere... All right, I'm going to close my eyes (does so), and when I open them up it's going to be right here— (opens them) It's not here. Why isn't it here?! I don't get it! Who could've—?! The kid! But, how could he have found it, it was— Wait. That watch...that watch was no watch at all! It was some kind of Dragon Ball locator! Which means... which means...!
  (Ghost Nappa appears with a ping)
  Ghost Nappa: (deadpan) He took the Dragon Ball.
  (peaceful scene of the surface of the lake. Then, Vegeta bursts out of it, flying as fast as he can)
  Vegeta: (eyes bloodshot, screaming as loud and harshly as possible)
  (Gohan and Krillin hear the scream)
  Gohan: Um, Krillin? Do you hear that?
  Krillin: I feel that.
  (inside Freeza's ship, Freeza hears it)
  Freeza: (glancing back) What the devil is that noise?
  (cut to Goku, in his ship, still flying through space to Namek)
  Goku: Ah~ time for a delicious sports dri—(hears the scream) Huh? What the heck is that?
  (cut to Earth's check-in station to the afterlife)
  King Yemma: (flipping through a book) Purgatory, hell...(hears the scream) Denise? Denise, do you hear that? Oh god, is that my wife?! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU ALREADY TOOK THE KIDS; WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!
  (cut to the ruined future, with Trunks and Bulma)
  Trunks: Alright, mom; once that time machine is done, I can go back into the past, to save Goku, and my father— (hears the scream) ...daddy?
  - In perhaps the greatest Brick Joke ever this gets a Call-Back in History of Trunks Abridged. At about 18:20 if you listen carefully during the HoT scene used for the above joke you can hear Vegeta's scream from this episode. For those doing the math that's roughly four and a half years between episode 18 and HoT Abridged.
This Call-Back to Episode 11 when Vegeta and Gohan meet:
Vegeta: Well, if it isn't Moe Howard.
Gohan: How did you even...?
Vegeta: Space Hulu.
Gohan: Figures.
The whole "I need an adult" running gag:
Gohan: So, uh, can I help you?
Vegeta: (gently puts his hand on Gohan's face) No... But maybe I can help you. (smiles creepily at Gohan)
Gohan: Uh... I need an adult...
Vegeta: I am an adult. (knees him in the stomach) By the way, I only hit you because I have pent up aggression against your father! Take that. (flies away)
- Later...
  Krillin: Gohan, I'll be getting you to Guru's now.
  Gohan: What? Why?
  Krillin: So the old man can touch you, and pull things out of you that you never knew you had.
  Gohan: ...I need an adult?
  Krillin: I am an adult.
- Later still...
  Guru: Now, relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence.
  Gohan: I... need an adul—
  Guru: I AM AN ADUUUUULLLLL—!! (cuts away)
  - While it doesn't feature the "I need an adult" phrase, the joke leading up to it is pretty hilarious too.
    Gohan: Mr. Guru, sir? My friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.
    Guru: Do I look Catholic to you?
This exchange between Nail and Vegeta:
Nail: Hello? Can I … help you with something?
Vegeta: Yeah, the first thing you can do is go die, save me the trouble.
Nail: Ooh! Ooh! Is this really happening? 'cause I really hope it is.
Vegeta: (laughs) Oh trust me, you don't want any of what I am now.
Nail: Then come on, bring on all four feet of you. Or should I count your stupid hair?
Vegeta: Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal slug.
Nail: Big talk coming from a bipedal bitch.
Vegeta: Ohoho! Oh, I gotta admit, you are the best challenge I've gotten out of your people yet! Then again, all I have to compare you to are those villagers I slaughtered.
Nail: Oh, you are dead!
Krillin's "Reason You Suck" Speech to Bulma in Episode 18.
Krillin: (In response to why he didn't stop Vegeta from taking a Dragon Ball) I don't know! Maybe you could've bitched at him! How 'bout that? That's all you appear to be good for these days! Huh? Used your bitch fu on him? Bulma, the mistress of bitching, that's what they should call you!
- After the Vegeta and Gohan scene:
  Krillin: Seriously! Five ancient sages of bitchdom all gathered one day on the peaks of Mount Bitch to proclaim your birth! And a hundred years later, when all the bitch stars have aligned, you were born and made everybody's life around you a living hell, because YOU! ARE SUCH! A BITCH! (exhausted sigh)
  Bulma: ...You done?
  Krillin: Yeah... Yeah, I guess.
  Bulma: Good. (hits Krillin)
  Krillin: Ow!
The long-awaited arrival of the Ginyu Force:
Vegeta: Besides Freeza, I'm the strongest thing on this planet!^note Bar none.
Guru: Heeeey. Just thought I would inform you all. There are several high power levels coming towarrrrds the planet.
Vegeta: What!? Several high power levels?
Guru: There are five of them in total.
Vegeta: Five of them!?
Guru: And they're all INCREEEEEDIBLY FLAMBOYANT!
Vegeta: OH GOD! IT'S THEM!!
Vegeta after he finally catches up with Krillin. He can't speak coherently, his eyes are bloodshot, and he's yelling at Ghost Nappa.
Vegeta: I-am-here-for-it.
Krillin: For what?
Vegeta: Dragon... Ball. I... need... that-Dragon Ball. (Vegeta's eyes are flashing colors chaotically) ''Give it to me''. The-one-you-took. I need my wish.
Krillin: (scared) Are... you okay?
Ghost Nappa: I think your rage broke, Vegeta.
Vegeta: SHUT UP GHOST OF NAPPA!
Krillin: What was that?
Vegeta: I'MNOTCRAZY!! YOU'RE CRAZY! ESPECIALLY YOU, NAPPA!
Ghost Nappa: Eeeeey...!
Krillin: Who are you talking t—
Vegeta: Dragon Ball! Hand now, please!
Krillin: Um… I don't… really… have it…
(A blood vessel bursts in Vegeta's right eye, making it turn red)
Vegeta: No...
Krillin: What?
Vegeta: (weeping Tears of Blood) No...
Krillin: Uh...
Vegeta: (bearing down on Krillin) Noooo...
(Vegeta feels Guru powering up Gohan in the distance)
Vegeta: (snaps back to reality) Huh—ha! Where am I? (notices Krillin) Why are you here? (Beat) Where's Nappa…?
Krillin: Didn't you kill him?
Vegeta: (quickly) YES! OF COURSE I DID. He's dead. Forever.
- Perhaps more funny is the constant "drug withdrawal" Does This Remind You of Anything? during the above, especially when his rage causes blood vessels in his eyes to burst, giving him a Red Eyes, Take Warning appearance before snapping out of it.
When Vegeta regains his wits, Krillin blabs about Guru's ability to release untapped potential.
Vegeta: Where's that immense power coming from?
Krillin: Ohthat'sprobablyGohanoverinthehutwherethecreatoroftheDragonBallsis.Youknow?Theguythatcanunlockyourpotentialbyputtinghishandontopofyourhead- Oh, God, I cannot shut up when I am scared.
Vegeta: Interesting. I'm gonna go pay him a... uh... what do you call it?
Krillin: A visit?
Vegeta: Beating, that's it! Gonna go pay him a beating.
The entire end of Episode 18, with Goku trying to think of what to drink.
Beer: No, it's too early to get crunk.
Powerthirst: Ehh, energy drinks just don't do it for me anymore.
Peanuts: I can't drink these, these are nuts!
TFS Soda: This looks delicious! And it's high in Calcium! Team Four Star Soda!
Every time Guru shouts at Nail, especially when Nail is preparing to pulverize Vegeta.
Guru: Naaaaaail!!! Stop making out with your boyfriend! I can hear it from here! It sounds like (gagging and slurping noises)
Nail: (pissed) Thank you, lord Guru!
Gohan, with his powers awakened, brags to Vegeta that he's now as strong as Vegeta was during their last fight.
Vegeta: Congratulations! You're still weaker than the last three guys I killed.
Gohan: Wow. I now know how it feels like to feel like Krillin.
Krillin: Sucks, doesn't it?
When Gohan arrives with Vegeta's Dragon Ball in episode 18:
Gohan: You guys, I think we should move to a new location.
Krillin: Why? What's wrong with this place?
Gohan: Because we have ten minutes before Vegeta finds out I stole this [Dragon Ball].
Krillin: (Terrified, high-pitched whimpering noises as Gohan smiles sweetly)
Bulma hating the fact that she's always getting abandoned on Namek.
Bulma: Oh no, no no no! I am not letting you abandon me here again! Those bitches on Lifetime might put up with it, but not me!
Krillin: Bulma, you're right. You have been very helpful and very patient with us. So in return...we'relettingyouwatchtheDragonBallbye! (He and Gohan fly off)
Bulma: I will kill you both in your sleep!
Vegeta's talk with Gohan after getting Krillin's Dragon Ball which directly precedes the first "I need an adult" joke, above. It later receives a Call-Back in episode 24, and again in episode 51.
Vegeta: So, what're you doing here?
Gohan: Oh, you know, just flyin' around.
Vegeta: Flyin' around?
Gohan: Flyin' around.
Vegeta: Thwartin' mah plans?
Gohan: Thwartin' your plans?
Vegeta: Are you?
Gohan: No.
Vegeta: Good, 'cause that'd be bad.
Gohan: How bad?
Vegeta: I'd have to kill you.
Gohan: That's bad.
Vegeta: Indeed. (points to the Dragon Radar in Gohan's hand) Stupid lookin' watch you got there.
Gohan: (shielding the Radar) Yes. It tells time. And nothing else.
Vegeta: Oh yeah, that's what a watch does. (aside) Dumbass.
Vegeta delivers a Pun.
Vegeta: Just remember this, next time you see me, I will be immortal. Not that you stood a chance to begin with, I'm just... Saiyan.
Laugh Track
Vegeta: Wocka-wocka!
The soldier that tells Freeza of the Ginyu Force's imminent arrival also adds that due to concerns over some of their personnel exploding, him and some other soldiers have decided to form a union.
Freeza: *beat* Adorable. (blows him up)
Krillin ordering Gohan to head off to Guru's with Dende while he tries to hold off a doubtlessly pissed to high hell Vegeta.
Krillin: DO AS I SAY FOR I AM THE HEAVENLY BUDDHA!
Gohan:...What?
Krillin: JUST GO!!

Episode 19: 到着を恐怖!! 敬礼, ギニュー特戦隊!!

When Ginyu gives Freeza his new scouter, he asks if it has the ringtone he wanted. The ringtone in question? F by Maximum the Hormone.
Freeza: Glorious.
The Wheel of Death routine. Even funnier because this is exactly what the Ginyu Force would do with enough time and preparation. Then there's Vegeta's reaction.
Vegeta: When did you have time to set this up?! Is...is that a camera?
(Cut to Freeza watching the program live)
Vegeta: What kind of sadistic retard watches this crap?!
Freeza: Love this show.
Vegeta sounding like The Man Your Man Could Smell Like.
Vegeta Look at your men, now back to me, now look back at your men, now back to me. I am not your men! I'm flipping you off! Look at the ground, back to me. Where is the Dragonball? It's gone! I threw it! And there's not a damn thing you can—
(Burter returns the Dragon Ball to Ginyu)
Burter: Here you go, boss.
Ginyu: Thank you, Burter.
Burter: It's what I do!
Vegeta: But... I... I chucked that son of a bitch as hard as I could!
Burter: Oh, you can't beat my speed! I'm the fastest in the universe!
Krillin: That's What She Said!
While Vegeta's spouting off various ways of saying they're going to die:
Super Kami Guru: Naaaaaaaiiillll! Slap him.
(Slap is heard)
Krillin: Ow!
Super Kami Guru: Thank you.
Vegeta's reaction to Krillin deciding to call them "Team Three Star."
Vegeta: What.
Krillin: Well, we're a TEAM, there's THREE of us, and the Dragon Balls have STARS on them! Team Three Star!
Vegeta: That just makes me want to kill you even more, and you're STILL only the second most annoying bald person I ever had the displeasure to work with.
Krillin: Team Three Star, MOVE OUT! *flies away*
Vegeta: I swear to god...! *flies after him*
- Later in the same episode, after Krillin has messed up again.
  Ginyu: Supposedly there are seven (Dragon Balls) in total, if my report is correct. And the other five are-?
  Krillin: (scared, shouts out quickly) RIGHT-BEHIND-YOU!
  Vegeta: My GOD man, you just cannot-!
  Krillin: (still running his mouth quickly) ShutupwhenImscared,Iknow! IoncehadacrushonalittleindianboythatIthoughtwasagirl.
  Vegeta: Please kill him. Seriously, he won't be missed.
Bulma's attempted rape fantasy with Vegeta should also count. It's Crosses the Line Twice at best.
Vegeta: (with a menacing tone) Hello, Earth woman.
(Bulma stammers with fear.)
Vegeta: You know what I want. Now, give it to me!
Bulma: (scared) The... the Dragonball's right there.
Vegeta: Oh, I'm not here for the Dragonball.
Bulma: Wha... what?
Vegeta: Spread 'em!
(Bulma, with fear, prepares herself, then falls down back to reality as Krillin unties the Dragonball to her foot.)
Krillin: (with a quick tone) Takin' the Dragonball! Bitch at me later! (flies off)
Vegeta: Your hair looks stupid! (flies off)
Gohan: Sorry, Bulma! (flies off)
Bulma: ALL OF MY HATE!
On the way to where Vegeta has the Dragon Balls, we get this exchange between Gohan and Vegeta:
Gohan: Vegeta, if you don't mind me asking, what are we in for?
Vegeta: You ever watch Power Rangers?
Gohan: No.
Vegeta: Ninja Turtles?
Gohan: No.
Vegeta: Sailor Moon?
Gohan: No.
Vegeta: Beetleborgs?
Gohan: No.
Vegeta: VR Troopers?
Gohan: No.
Vegeta: Samurai Syber-Squad?
Gohan: No.
Vegeta: ... Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills?
Gohan: Oh yeah!
Vegeta: Goddamn it!
- For a meta CMOF, try to look up videos of that last show on YouTube: chances are that you'll find several comments from people who thought TFS was making this up. Even Taka couldn't believe it!
Or when Vegeta tells Krillin to destroy the Dragon ball in the same episode, Krillin fails, while Vegeta keeps screaming at him to hit it harder.
Krillin on the receiving end of Za Warudo.
Krillin: Gohan! Did you see? His power, he can-!
Gohan: Stop time?
Krillin: Summon steamrollers!
Gohan: (dumbfounded) Y-You sure?
Krillin: Positive!
- As Kaiser points out in the Creator Commentary for this episode, this joke actually aged better than basically every other referential joke because the episode came out long before the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure anime. Up until this point, anyone who would know the reference would know it from the Capcom fighting game. They then highlight that the reference went full-circle when "crapbaskets" was referenced in the English dub of Stardust Crusaders by Mannish Boy.
- Even funnier in Hindsight, In HFIL: Little Lord Freeza Episode 8, Guldo does in fact use this same technique to summon Guru, who is equivalent to a Steamroller or at least something better, so it's implied that Krillin was kind of spot on.
Vegeta's hurricane of Unusual Euphemisms as The Stinger of Episode 19.
Vegeta: Son of a gum-chewing funk monster! Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me?! Forget my life! Always surrounded by miserable failing clods! Like this whole world just likes to bend me over and FIND ME IN THE ALPS! Like I'm some sort of shlock receptacle! Well as far as I care, these miserable cows can have a fancy barbecue, WITH A GODDAMN PIG!!
Ginyu: Jeice, please.
Jeice: Sorry, Cap'n. Me scouter's acting a bit shonky.
- In the original scene, it's clear these are not the words they are bleeping out.^note
Go Space Broncos!
"Why can't I feel my everything?"
- Guldo getting dog treats thrown at him.
- Or Vegeta's advice to Krillin on how to fight him:
  Vegeta: Throw dog treats at him.
  Krillin: How will that help?
  Vegeta: I'll find it hilarious.
- And finally, Guldo's "Facing the Bullets" One-Liner, as he realises he is dying, and begins to contemplate his afterlife and what it all means... before Vegeta throws another dog treat at him.
  Guldo: ... I f***ing hate you.
  Vegeta: I know. [VA-VOOM]
Freeza's reaction to the Ginyu Force's introduction:
Freeza: Sure is Zarbon in here.

Episode 20: Namekimania 2011

The Ginyu Force mourns Guldo.
Jeice: Oi! Oi, is that Guldo over there? Is he dead?
Recoome: How tragic.
Beat
Burter: Not telling the captain, 1-2-3, not it!
Recoome: Not it!
Jeice: Not it- Oh, wankers.
- Jeice saying "wankers" is even funnier, because right before they noticed Guldo is dead, they were discussing how long had been since they last, well, y'know....
Recoome: Recoome didn't even have enough room in his pod.
Recoome's Badass Boast.
Recoome: Hit Recoome's music! (Evil Horde's "Hangarmageddon" starts playing) Vegeta, you think that just because you think you're the "Prince of All Saiyans", you think you're the best there is at what you do! But let Recoome tell ya something, brother, you ain't no Wolverine, and you ain't got what it takes to step up to a five time champion!
Vegeta: Champion of what?
[...]
Recoome: You see, Vegeta, you sit there and brag about how the Saiyans are the mightiest warriors in all the universe, how they're the most ruthless! Well, look at where they are now! Dead! You talk about your legends, and your warrior race, and your pride, but that doesn't mean a damn thing to this man! Because the name's Recoome! And it rhymes with "doom"! And you're gonna be hurting...ALL! TOO! SOON!
After Recoome's first Badass Boast:
Vegeta: Wrestling's fake. (boos and jeers - and a "you suck-diddly-uck") Oh, go to hell, all of you! And if it means getting this damn thing over with, then I'm just going to have to kill your ass! Now hit my music.
* Dragon Ball GT Theme Tune Rap plays*
Vegeta: Oh, the f*** with this!
"SUCK IT, JABRONI!"
While it might be funny only to wrestling fans, Jeice using "slobberknocker" and "vintage" while commentating is quite hilarious. And, of course, "Piledriver! PILEDRIVER!!"
Krillin's Non Sequitur, *Thud* after getting owned for the 12th time:
Krillin: HELLO GOHAN HAVE YOU DONE YOUR HOMEWORK BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, CHI-CHI WILL KICK MY ASS!
Gohan: Ah, are you okay?
Krillin: Yeah, seems he threw my nervous system out of whack, there. Can't quite feel the pain!
(Beat)
Krillin: There it is! AAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWWW...
Guru tries to get Nail to leave and help the Earthlings against the Ginyu Force.
Nail: Lord Guru that would leave you totally unguarded.
Guru: No. I would have Dende.
Dende: Please don't leave me alone with him.
Guru: He is the third strongest of our kind.
Nail: Lord Guru, there are only three of us left.
Guru: Dende, how does it feel to be the bronze medal?
Dende: Like everyone I know and love is dead.
(Beat)
Guru: (monotone singing) Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you. Party pooper. Party pooper.
Nail: Lord Guru...
Guru: WHY ARE YOU STILL HEEEERE?
"Silly Vegeta! The only thing Recoome sells, is merchandise!" *Cue images of merchandise with Recoome on them popping up, including a vibrator with his head*
After Gohan and Krillin have saved Vegeta by forcing Recoome's mouth shut while he was using his Breath Weapon:
Recoome: (his mouth is all messed up) Can Recoome get a mirror? He feels like he might have chipped a tooth.
Krillin: (offscreen) Dear God, what happened to your face?!
The entire Spacey's skit. It's good food. In space.
Gohan's attempted Badass Boast.
Gohan: I'm not going to back down! I might be younger than you, smaller than you, weaker than you, and much less experienced, but I learned more about peach farming than... I think this was a horrible decision.
Recoome: Recoome agrees.
The Dance of Joy, which Ginyu is contractually obligated to do post every successful mission, thanks to King Cold.
- Don't forget the Daddy's Little Princess Dance, as he is contractually obligated to do…thanks to Freeza's brother Cooler.
- And as The Stinger, Ginyu performs the "Dance of Cheering You Up" after Freeza realizes that the Dragonballs might have a password that he doesn't know - and can't know because he'd used the murderous approach. Which means that there is nobody left alive left to tell him, meaning, he lost his wish.
Going by the episode's pro wrestling theme, how is Goku's arrival on Namek announced? By playing Hulk Hogan's "Real American" as he prepares to descend from his ship.
Recoome's movelist.
Recoome: RECOOME-
Krillin: Does every move you have start with-
Recoome: KICK!
This.
Freeza: (After Ginyu has brought him the Dragon balls and finished the Dance of Joy, which was authorized by Freeza's father) Now, let's wish me some immortality!
Ginyu: Not quite yet, Lord Freeza. Lastly, I must complete the "Daddy's Little Princess" dance!
Freeza: (indignant) My father would command no such thing!
Ginyu: You are correct, Lord Freeza!
Freeza: Very well.
Ginyu: It was your brother!
Freeza: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH—!
- After the Dragon Balls don't work.
  Ginyu: Might I suggest the dance of cheering you up?
  Freeza: (resigned) ...proceed.

Episode 21: Stop! Celebrate and Witness, Goku's Back From 100x Fitness!

The opening includes a spoof Japanese Promotional Consideration spot...for Team Four-Star Soda and Spacey's.
The beginning:
Goku: Finally! I'm on Planet Namek!
Krillin (O/S): Help us!
Goku: So beautiful... so serene!
Krillin (O/S): Oh, God, he's killing us! Help!
Goku: I think I hear a duck. But this far out in space? That doesn't make any sense!
Krillin (O/S): QUACK!
Goku: Oh, no! That sounds like Krillin! I'm 'a comin!
Freeza's rant:
Freeza: "I can't believe we came all the way out here and spent a week in the Space Boonies for nothing! Seriously, I'm surprised we didn't hear banjos on the way, because everyone is inbred and LOOKS THE F***ING SAME! Not to mention I lost Dodoria and Zarbon, the latter of whom spent 400 credits making long-distance calls to his girlfriend, WHO I AM CONVINCED IS NAMED CHUCK!"
Ginyu: Lord Freeza-
Freeza WHAAAT?!?
Ginyu: (Beat) There may still be a few more of them out there. Perhaps you should try checking your scouter?
- Freeza just letting that realization hit him for a few seconds before he does just that, figuring out where he can find Lord Guru and the other surviving Namekians.
- "And now, the Dance of Solitude!" (starts voguing to...well, "Vogue")
After Goku arrives, Recoome is trying to get people to pay attention to him.
Recoome: Hey! Recoome was in the middle of a match here, so how about you—
Goku: Sir! I am talking to my son.
Recoome: Oh. Recoome apologizes. Wait, what am I apologizing for? RECOOME'S GONNA KILL YOU!!
Gohan is fed a senzu bean. A green 9999 appears over his head and the healing ding plays.
"Hey Vegeta, we're friends now, right?" "F*ck off." "The best."
Vegeta's excuse about being so beat up:
Goku: So anyway. Vegeta, what happened to you? Did you get beat up by this guy? (gestures to Recoome)
Recoome: (groaning in pain)
Vegeta: (stammering) Uhhh, n-no... I.. umm... uh..
Ghost Nappa: Ya fell down some stairs.
Vegeta: I fell down some stairs.
Krillin: No you didn't, you—
Vegeta: Shut up before I throw you down a flight.
The antics with Super Kami Guru, Nail and Dende continue...
Guru: So, Dende. Sucks about your family.
Dende: We've gone over this.
Guru: But do you know who also lost his family? Batman.
Dende: I don't know who that is!
Guru: See? This is why we need TV!!
Dende: But why?
Guru: ♪Nananananananana Dende. Nananananananana Dende. Dende...♪
Dende: Guru...
Guru: ♪Dende...♪
Dende: Nail's here...
Guru: [as Nail enters via an elevator] Naaaaaaiiiiiiiiil. Why are you back?
Nail: [with a visible bruise on his forehead] I never left, sir. I was outside, hitting my head against the wall for 20 minutes. [flashback to Guru listening, as we hear Nail doing just what he said]
Guru: So that's what that was.
- When the scene transitions back to Goku and the Ginyus, it does it with a shot of Dende's head and the scene transition background and music from the 60's Batman series.
"WE GET IT! YOU'RE FROM SPACE AUSTRALIA!!!"
When Jeice and Burter try to fight Goku after one-shotting Recoome:
Jeice: We better bust out our special technique...
Jeice and Burter: (powering up) SEIZURE PROCEDURE!
(The two combined into a whirling blue and red disc, as Epileptic Flashing Lights ensue set to "Sandstorm" by Darude)
Goku: ...
Gohan: Krillin! Whatever you do, don't look directly at it! (Beat) Krillin?
Krillin: (eyes rolled back in his head, foaming at his wide-open mouth, unintelligible moaning)
(Krillin Owned Count increments to 13)
Jeice getting punched in the face over and over again:
Jeice: Alright, you bastard! Prepare to feel the wrath of the Ginyu For—! (gets punched) GUOGH!! D'AAUGH! YOU GODDAMN WANKER! You punched me in the—! (gets punched) D'UOGH! D'AUGH! You did it again! I— (gets punched) D'ACK! Stop it! STOP IT, I— (gets punched) PIIIISS!!! (thinking) Auugh, what would the Cap'n tell us to do in this situation?!
Ginyu: (in flashback) Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to—(flashback gets interrupted by yet another punch)
Jeice: D'OHH! OWWW, HE CUT OFF THE CAP'N!
Goku: So, are you gonna dodge any of these?
Jeice: Ohhh, that's what the Cap'n— (gets punched) Oowww! BURTER! SUPPORT!!
Burter: Well, you've got very nice hair, you're a beautiful shade of red, and honestly, you're the only guy I can rely on on this team.
Jeice: AH MEANT PUNCH 'IM, YA DAFT BASTARD!! Ugh! Oh, but thanks, ya know? Th-that really cheered me— (gets punched) OW! OH, GOD, I THINK HE BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!
STOP! Goku time!
Jeice stops taking Burter's claims of being "the fastest in the universe" at face value:
Jeice: Alright, this is just bloody stupid!
Burter: Calm down! We gotta come up with a plan! Listen: if you use your Crusher Ball on him, I can rush him the moment he tries to dodge. He may be fast, but he's not faster than the fastest guy in the universe!
Jeice: Alright, mate? We need to talk...about this whole fastest-in-the-universe thing. First off, the Captain's got a higher power level than you.
Burter: Yeah, so?
Jeice: Well then, correct me if I'm wrong, but a higher power level means he's faster, yeah?
Burter: Well okay, maybe—
Jeice: And Lord Freeza's got a higher power than all of us...
Burter: Okay, that's just not fair—
Jeice: And if you think about it, Guldo can stop time, so that technically makes him faster than—
Burter: (losing his shit) NO! NO! NO! OKAY?! I AM NOT SLOWER THAN F*CKING GULDO!!!
Jeice: Burter, calm down—
Burter: NO! SHUT UP! YOU SHUT YOUR STUPID RED FACE! (mocking Jeice's voice) "Oh, don't worry, mate, you're just slower than Guldo!"
Goku: (thinking) I wonder if there's a Denny's on this planet. I could really go for a Grand Slam...
Burter: (In distance) I don't wanna hear it! You don't get it! Don't you know what it's like? Everyone has something special! I don't! What am I? The big blue snake guy. That's all I've got! That's all I've go-ho-hot.
- Given Burter's reptilian-sounding voice, this means he had a literal hissy fit!
Jeice and Burter have a touching display of camaraderie, showing how good friends they are and promising to go out drinking once it's all over, the music swells... and Goku one-shots Burter.
Jeice: You're me best mate!
Burter: Thanks, Jeice. You're my best friend too. You know, after all this is over, what do you say we head over to Spacey's and just... have a good old time?
Jeice: Sounds good, mate!
Burter: But remember, you still owe me that space soda!
Jeice: Ha, ha! You're right I do. Now! Let's go show that bloke what for—!
(Goku swoops in and kicks Burter in the stomach, before effortlessly throwing him on the ground)
Goku: Say, do you know where there's a Denny's around here?
Jeice: BURTER!!! NOOOOOO!!!
Goku: Butter! That'll go great on my Grand Slam!
After Goku effortlessly defeats Recoome and Burter while Jeice runs away to Captain Ginyu, Goku asks "where the fighters are at" implying that his fight with the half of the Ginyu Force was a joke.
Goku: Well that was fun! Where are the fighters? I really want to deck that Freezer guy.
Vegeta's Renegade Interrupt.
Goku: Vegeta! That was not very paragon!
Vegeta: (spits) Renegade for life.
- Then The Stinger:
  Vegeta: You think that's bad? Seriously; if you hit him hard enough, you can play a song.
  (Vegeta repeatedly knees Burter in the throat, his groans sounding like "Korobeiniki")
  Vegeta: (chuckle) I don't even know what that's from.
  Krillin: I think that was Tetris.
  Vegeta: Isn't that what you get when you cut yourself with something rusty?
  Goku: Nah, that's rabies.
  Gohan: Actually, dad, you get rabies when you get bit by an animal that has the disease.
  Goku: Silly Gohan! Animals don't eat people, people eat animals! Silly Gohan.
- In a call forward to Dead Zone Abridged Krillin has to dodge falling blocks as the tetris theme plays in the background.

Episode 22: The Good, the Bad, and the Purple

When Freeza plans what to do when he attains immortality.
Freeza: So, for the first century I'll go easy on them, lure them into a false sense of security, and then when they think I'm not so bad, BAM! I'll go full tyrant on them in the second century. Then I'll disappear for a millennia and make them wonder if I even existed to begin with, just to come back and kill them all.
Another great Guru line - "And so I tell him, 'I don't care who you are, now clean my jowls!' ...And that was Nail's first day on the job."
- Another great moment is the lead up to unlocking Dende's potential. Nail tries to not-so-subtly hint that the power up should be given to him so he can match the ungodly power heading their way.
  Nail: Y'know, maybe you should give someone else that power-up? The one you gave the Earthlings?
  Guru: You are correct. It is time for me to unlock your hidden powers. Dende?
  (Flashy Power Up)
  Dende: Aah, what the hell!?
  Guru: And now, your power has been awakened.
  Dende: I noticed!
  Nail: Sir, I was referring to m—
  Guru: Now listen to me, Dende. With these powers, you garner a huge responsibility. I need you to run as fast as you can to the Earthli—
  Nail: Sir, he left you the moment after you gave him the power-up.
  (Beat)
  Guru: Thaaaat SLUUUUUUUUUTTT!!
Also from 22:
Guru: NNAAAAAIIIILLLL! Do we have a visitor?
Nail: Yes, sir.
Guru: NNNNAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIILLLLLL! Take his coat.
Freeza: I don't have a coat.
Nail: He doesn't have a coat, sir. [looks at Freeza] And I believe this is the man who basically just killed our whole race.
Guru: [sounding a bit annoyed] NNNNNNAAAAAAIIIIILLLLLLL. Don't take his coat.
- Later...
  Freeza: I have the distinct feeling that you're going to be difficult.
  Nail: Well Sir, if you're having a problem with our Customer Support you can call 1-800-eat-a-d*ck!
  Super Kami Guru: We don't even have those!
Freeza talking about destroying Nail.
Freeza: I'll dispatch of this worm and then I'll be back for you, slug.
Super Kami Guru: Leave my brother out of this!
KILLING CRABS! IN THE OCEAN!
Vegeta believes that since Freeza has all the dragon balls, it is game over for them. Krillin points out that it doesn't seem so just yet.
Krillin: When you make a wish on the dragon balls, the sky turns darker than the blackest void!
(cut back to Kami's Lookout, where Popo is tending to his garden)
Popo: (looks up) Hm?
Later, when Freeza is going to Guru:
Freeza: (passing Dende) Good afternoon.
Dende: It's morning. (in Namekian) Douche.
Freeza: Cute kid. Seems familiar.
"Oh god. NATURAL LIGHT!"
"I utilize these poses as a means of reinvigorating my men and raising morale. HOW DARE YOU MOCK THEM!"
Ginyu meeting Goku
Jeice: That's him, Captain! That's the one who beat us up!
Ginyu: What?! Just look at HIS hair! He looks like he just got out of bed! For goodness sake, Jeice, he's even wearing pajamas.
Jeice: I swear it, sir. He picked us apart one by one. We never stood a cha—
[Goku punches Jeice.]
Jeice: GAOGH! D'OH, THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR!
Ginyu: Jeice, what have I told you?
Nail again demonstrating his aptitude at passive-aggressive trash talk:
Freeza: You see, I recently acquired what you people referred to as Dragon Balls, but I'm having trouble getting them to do what I want.
Nail: Did you try working the shaft?
Freeza: ... Classy.
- Which leads to...
  Guru: Naaail, what does he want?
  Nail: He wants to know how to use the Dragon Balls.
  Guru: Did you tell him to work the shaft?
  Nail: Yes, Lord Guru.
  Guru: (proudly) Good work, Nail.
After Freeza sees Guru for the first time:
Freeza: Good Lord! I was lead to believe your species survived almost entirely on water! How is he so fat?!
Guru: Oh, hello. I'm Super Kami Guru. And I'm the guy who is not judging you on your appearance.
Jeice has to report the defeat of his comrades to Captain Ginyu. It doesn't go well for him at first...
Jeice: —OUTTA NOWHERE THIS STUPID GUY IN THIS STUPID OUTFIT STARTS BEATING US UP AND I LOST ME BEST MATE AND—
Ginyu: JEICE! You will speak to me professionally and dutifully.
Jeice: (now calm) Oh. Um... sorry, Cap'n.
Ginyu: Now, Jeice... back from the field... full report!
Jeice: Well, see, at first it was going fine... but next thing we know, Guldo... well...
Ginyu: Oh, lord, he's dead, isn't he...
Jeice: That he is, sir.
Ginyu: Well, in our line of work, our lives can be compromised at any moment. This is something we must live with. On the plus side, Burter owes me 50 Raditz.
Jeice: ... about that, Cap'n, he's probably not gonna pay up...
Ginyu: Really? He's usually such a good sport about that.
Jeice: Thing is... he's come down with a sudden case of death, sir.
Ginyu: (sincerely upset) Oh. That's... wow. That's a rather hefty loss...
Jeice: Yes, sir. He was a valued teammate. Strong, fast—
Ginyu: And blue!
Jeice: ... pardon, Cap'n?
Ginyu: Blue! And tall! And you're so red! And short! It was the perfect little yin-yang thing we had going!
Jeice: (muttering) I'm not that short, Cap'n...
Ginyu: Oh, don't go all Vegeta on me. Now... where are we going to find another blue recruit? Perhaps Recoome knows someone!
Jeice: (disgusted sigh)
Ginyu: He's dead, too, isn't he...
Jeice: ... yeeeeeah.
Ginyu: Well. Did he at least die with dignity?
(Cut to Recoome lying face down on the ground, his naked ass in the air. Buzzing flies are heard.)
Jeice: ... define "dignity", sir.
Goku and Ginyu's analysis of each others' capabilities:
Ginyu: You have an interesting form and a surprisingly well-honed technique.
Goku: And you're purple!
This exchange:
Jeice: Well, cap'n, if you're getting stressed, you could always... ya know...
Ginyu: Jeice! This is hardly the time or the place. Besides, I already did it in the pod on the way here.
Jeice: ... I meant switch bodies, sir...
- Preceding this was Ginyu's epic Freak Out over realizing that Goku's power-level was half-again his own.

Episode 23: Grand Theft Goku

Krillin and Gohan discussing why the Namekian Dragon Balls aren't working.
Gohan: Maybe there's something special about Namekian Dragon Balls.
Krillin: Maybe if I sing to it. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves-
Gohan: -Actually, Krillin, I was thinking something else. Maybe the only way to summon it is to call it in its native language.
Krillin: I don't speak German! And the only person I know that does was the toilet... and it's dead. God rest his seat.
Bulma calling out Krillin and Gohan on leaving her alone all the time, and Krillin pointing out the logic of her problem:
Bulma: Why?! Why would you leave me alone here?! I don't know this place! Did you know there are giant crabs down there?! I do! I KILLED ONE!
Krillin: Okay, Bulma, just calm down. Why are you upset?
Bulma: Why?! Because I am always alone!
Krillin: And if we were to stay here, what would that accomplish?
Bulma: ...just take the f***ing radar.
Krillin: Thank you, Bulma. Say "Thank you", Gohan.
Gohan: Thank you, Bulma.
Bulma: No problem, Gohan.
Krillin: And no problem...?
Bulma: Shove it!
Krillin: I'll take it.
Also:
Freeza: (to Nail) So. We've been flying for about twenty minutes now. Got any family? Because if so I probably killed them. [Beat] You're no fun.
- Freeza is just terrible, in the funniest way possible.
  Freeza: Oh, I know. How bout a good old-fashioned joke? How many Namekians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Their whole race. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to die. And then the other one dies too. (no response from Nail) Really? Nothing to that? (no response) Stop ignoring me.
Vegeta imagining himself yelling "Team Three Star" just before breaking Krillin's neck.
"Amazing."
After Gohan and Krillin found the Dragon Balls, they can finally use it to ressurect Piccolo, Tenshinhan and Chiaotzu.
Gohan: What about Yamcha?
Krillin: What about Yamcha?
Vegeta: *Thinking* I don't know what this Yamcha is, but it sounds just like Raditz.
Two soldiers talking about the Wilhelm scream and trying to imitate it. Vegeta then blasts one to his death, which makes him do the real deal.
Soldier: Dude, that was totally it! (dies, emitting the scream as well)
- Made even funnier when after that, everyone else very clearly also has a stock scream... of Team Fortress 2 characters. Also after the slaughter:
  Vegeta: (jumping into Freeza's base, deadpan) Weeeeeeee.
When Gohan is fighting Ginyu in Goku's body:
Ginyu: (in Goku's body) This is absurd! His power level was a league above my own when we fought! What the blazes is going on?!
Goku: (in Ginyu's body) Ha ha! You don't know any of my techniques!
Ginyu: What techniques? Tell me!
Goku: I'm not gonna tell you how to use the Kaio-ken!
Ginyu: Kaio-wha-? (Kicked by Gohan and Krillin in the face at the same time)
Ginyu!Goku getting confused about who is in whose body.
Ginyu!Goku: (After Goku!Ginyu flies off) Man... I'm a jerk now...
Ginyu!Goku: (after hearing Vegeta explain that Kakarot and Goku refer to the same person) So does that make me Ginyu?
Ginyu!Goku: (blocking Vegeta from Ginyu's body change) I'll save you, Goku!
Vegeta's answer to Ginyu's request for a moment of silence.
Goku!Ginyu: Just... just allow me a customary moment of silence.
* Beat*
Vegeta: Mine mine mine minemineMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE! (Bashes Ginyu!Goku into the ground.)
This conversation:
Vegeta: The best part about this- I get to kill both Ginyu AND Kakarot at the same time?
Goku!Ginyu: Wait, who's Kakarot?
Vegeta: You're Kakarot.
Goku!Ginyu: I thought his name was Goku.
Krillin: His name is Goku!
Vegeta: No, it's Kakarot.
Goku!Ginyu: But he just said Goku.
Krillin: Yeah, I did.
Vegeta: I know what he said but he-
Goku!Ginyu: : So what is it? Kakarot or Goku?
Vegeta and Krillin: It's Kakarot!/It's Goku!
Vegeta: No, no, no! Just... look. His Saiyan name is Kakarot, but he changed it when he landed on Earth as a baby. So they kept calling him by his Earth name, and I am calling him by his real name!
Ginyu!Goku: ... so does that make me Ginyu?
Vegeta: *screams in rage*
Gohan's snaps and starts Calling the Old Man Out.
Krillin: Gohan, we might have a chance now! But you have to give it your all! Remember, (Ginyu) may look like your dad, you can absolutely not hold back-
Gohan AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! You abandoned me for a year with Piccolo, sent me off into space, and the next time I get to see you, you lost your damn body?! YOU'RE NOT EVEN YOU ANYMOOOOORE!
Ginyu!Goku: I don't know where he gets that from.
- Genius Bonus: Goku is actually right here. He didn't abandon Gohan for a year with Piccolo, he was just dead for that year. On top of that, Piccolo technically killed him. And he didn't send Gohan into space, Gohan was actually eager to go to Namek to bring back Piccolo. Goku was unable to come along because he was stuck in hospital. So... yeah, Goku has no idea why Gohan is so upset over things he did not do.
This line:
Ginyu!Goku: This is easily the second worst hole I've had in my chest. It's going to take, like, a million mommy kisses to make this feel better.
When Goku gets back in his original body
Krillin: Goku? What's your favorite food?
Goku: Favorite?
Krillin: HE'S HIM AGAIN!
Think Vegeta's gonna spare Frog Ginyu?
Vegeta: Psyche! Eight for eight! (Squish!)

Episode 24: The Best Laid Plans of Saiyans and Nameks

Freeza and Nail's confrontation:
Nail: (attacks Freeza mid-sentence) HAAAAA!
Freeza: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we were starting. Here, allow me. (rips Nail's arm off)
Nail: AAAAAAHHHHHH! (falls to his knees in agony)
Freeza: Looks like someone's going to be missing this! (Drops Nail's severed arm in front of him)
Nail: No, not really. (grows a new arm)
Freeza: Ooh, that looks like it hurts a lot. Are you okay?
Nail: I'm fine!
Freeza: Good to know. Yoink! (rips off Nail's new arm)
- In their next scene, there's a whole pile of mutilated arms on the ground.
  Freeza: How many arms do you think we're up to? I think we're up to 24.
  - Also a reference to the episode number.
Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin taking Goku to the healing tank in the ship:
Vegeta: It'll take a while, though. This is the only other model the ship has. And it's kind of an old one.
Krillin: What happened to the newer model?
Vegeta: Blew it the f*** up.
Krillin: What, did it have an opinion?
Vegeta: Eat me. [...] Now, both of you, STRIP.
Krillin: Ummmm...
Vegeta: I've got body armor for you.
Krillin: ... Less awkward.
Krillin and Gohan lampshading how long they've been on Namek.
Krillin: You know, Gohan. It just occurred to me.
Gohan: Yeah, Krillin?
Krillin: We're still on Namek.
Gohan: What do you mean?
Krillin: Well, it feels like we've been here for like, a year.
Gohan: But we've only been here for six days!
Krillin: I know, right?!
Krillin unintentionally giving Vegeta flashbacks from the previous season:
Krillin: Hey, by the way, don't I look like that one guy that Vegeta landed with back on Earth? What was his name, again? Hey, Vegeta! What was that one guy's name? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? (Nappa's head appears) Vegeta? Vegeta?
Vegeta: (Scowls) Goddamnit, Nappa.
Krillin: Oh, right! Good ol' Goddamnit Nappa.
George Takei randomly interrupting the conversation between Goku and King Kai:
Goku: Who's that, King Kai?
King Kai: It's George Takei. Somehow we made this into a three-way.
George Takei: Ohhhh my!
King Kai: Call! Three-way call!
Dende starts screaming in terror when he thinks he's been caught by one of Freeza's henchmen. Then he realizes it's Krillin, and he screams even louder.
Gohan's inner monologue as he reflects on his life:
Gohan: Then again, I don't really know anyone my own age. My best friends are a 26 year-old dwarf, and a giant green alien who constantly hits me. Still, better than my dad. At least they're around. ... Huh. Where did that come from?
Krillin, Gohan and Dende sneaking the Dragon Balls away, accompanied by "Minnie the Moocher".
Porunga's introduction:
Krillin: Holy crap, your dragon's on steroids!
Porunga: (In Namekian) I am Porunga, Dragon of Dreams, and I— [sees Krillin] ... Why is there an Albino Namekian amongst you? I thought they were wiped out in the purge!
Dende: Actually, they're earthlings.
Porunga: God, they're ugly.
Dende: And annoying.
King Kai communicating with Krillin:
Krillin: We get three wishes? That's awesome! I want a three foot long-
King Kai: Stop screwing around and wish these idiots off my planet!
Krillin: Holy crap, I can hear a voice inside my head!
Dende: Is it telling you my name is Dende?
Krillin: Hush, Little Green! The voice speaks to me.
King Kai: This is King Kai. Wish these guys back to life before I kill myself.
Krillin: Wait, can gods kill themselves?
King Kai: I'M ABOUT TO TRY!
"No one cares what Yamcha thinks!"
Piccolo's reaction to being sent to a random spot on Namek:
Krillin: Little Green, wish our friend Piccolo back to life, and then with our next wish, bring him to Namek.
Piccolo: Hold on a minute, don't do that! That is a terrible i—(is resurrected and brought to Namek)—dea!
(Piccolo can be heard screaming in the distance)
Dende: He is on Namek.
Gohan: Wait, where is he?
Dende: On Namek.
Piccolo: (in the distance) YOU DUMBASS!
Krillin: Why didn't it bring him here?
Dende: You must be specific.
Gohan: Oh, so it's a sort of monkey's paw. You have to be careful with the hubris in your wishes.
Piccolo: (still in the distance) NEEEEEEEERRRRDDD!
Apparently, Goku was right; Vegeta does have a very nervous bladder. And he's making this announcement to a room with nobody in it except an unconscious Goku locked in a healing tank.
Vegeta: (suddenly wakes up, jumps to his feet, fists clenched) I have to pee! (bolts out of the room)
- It also takes him way too long to figure out why the sky has turned dark:
  Vegeta: Jesus, I overslept. It's already night... for the first time since I got here... on a planet with three suns.
  (Alarm clock in his head ticks, then goes off after several seconds)
  Vegeta: Oh you motherFU—(cut back to the dragon)—CKEEEEEEEERS!
  Piccolo: (distant) Ow, my ears!
- Then Vegeta catches up to Gohan, Krillin and Dende...
  Krillin: (on what he should use the third wish for) Well, if nobody else has any ideas, I want my three-foot-
  Vegeta: (visibly furious) HEY!! WHAT'S UP GUYS?!
  Krillin: ... I'm never gonna get my hoagie.
  Vegeta: SO WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?!
  Gohan: What am I doin'?
  Vegeta: WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?!
  Gohan: Nothing much.
  Vegeta: THWARTIN' MAH PLANS?!
  Gohan: Thwartin' your plans?
  Vegeta: ARE YOU?!
  Gohan: ... Yes.
  Vegeta: (beat) I'M GONNA F***ING KILL YOU!
Guru's death and how well it fits with his character:
Guru: I feel that they have finally summoned the dragon. Would be a reeeal dick move to die right now... Huuurrkk! [dies]
When Kami is resurrected.
Popo: -humming and watering plants-
Kami: (poofs) Fan-freaking-tastic, we're back here again.
Popo: Oh, you're back. Hi Kami.
Kami: Mr. Popo, what are you watering?
Popo: Pot.
Kami: Pots of what?
Popo: Pot. (beat) I'm not getting rid of it.
Kami: Are you kidding? That sh*t's great for my glaucoma!!
- Even better given it's a brick joke to this.
- And the tune Popo's humming while tending to his pot? Afroman's "Because I Got High".
Freeza's reaction to learning that the Namekians have hoodwinked him.
Nail: (Enjoying this moment) The earthlings have the password.
Freeza: ... What?
Nail: Remember the little Namekian you passed on the way to Guru's? On his way to the humans with the password. By now he's probably already there and they're about to summon the dragon!
Freeza: (Barely concealed rage) Grk...Jch...
Nail: Yeah, if I could guess your biggest mistake, it would be not stopping him. That or the purple lipstick.
Freeza: I WILL F***ING MURDER YOU!!
Nail: Whatever.
Freeza: (flies off and turns on scouter) Why aren't the Ginyus showing up!? Oh, they're dead. *beat* WHY ARE THEY DEAD?!
Vegeta's thoughts as he was falling asleep.
Vegeta: First immortality. Then the bitches.
The reveal that even Krillin thought the name "Team Three Star" was stupid.
Freeza getting annoyed with Namek. Again.
Nail: (Lands on a random spot) This is my people's sacred battleground.
Freeza: We flew over an hour for this? It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this god-forsaken rock!
- Then:
  Nail: Peh. Racist.
  Freeza: Well, maybe so, but I can't quite be a racist against a race that doesn't exist. Like The Clorfors! Dirty money grubbing Clorfors. Tried to clorf me right out of my money. Blew those little bastards up is what I did!

Episode 25: Nail is Piccolo, and So Can You!

With Freeza upon them after Porunga dies, Krillin tries to fool him into believing he is a Space Duck... While he's standing directly in front of Freeza.
Freeza: Well Vegeta, you've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely... With some help, I see...
Krillin: QUACK!
Gohan: Krillin, seriously, not helping.
Krillin: I can try!
The Stinger has the Super Mario Bros. theme song with Freeza under a power up box. Out pops the mushroom and Freeza transforms.
Episode 25 has several including Freeza raising the Owned count so high that he gets 1Ups, Nappa in the flashback and Dodoria shopped onto a fat woman in lingerie during a solar flare.
- Freeza singing a mudded rendition of "My Favorite Things" in 25, is both hilarious and chilling.
  Freeza: Peaceful young races with fires on their houses, millions of voices all silenced like mouses, watching the cowards bow toward their new king, these are the few of my favorite things!
When Nail instructs Piccolo on fusing, he tells the latter to put his hand on his chest... lower... lower... lower... little lower...
Nail: Ahh, if we had junk you'd be gay right now!
Another is the aftermath of Piccolo's fusion with Nail. Team Four Star handles it EXACTLY like the dub complete with Piccolo psyching himself up...until...
Nail: (inside Piccolo's head) What are you doing?
Piccolo: Errrghummm...Nothing.
Nail: Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself.
Piccolo: Are you in my head?
Nail: Yep. Don't worry, supposedly I should fade into your subconscious...sooner or later.
Piccolo: OK...so what now?
Nail: By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bastard that killed our people.
Piccolo: And?
Nail: Well, let me put this in terms you'll understand...YOU CAN WIN! YOU FEEL GREAT! YOU! CAN! DO! THIS!
Piccolo: Oh HA-HA!
When Krillin (after doing his "QUACK!" Running Gag) almost blurts out their homeworld's name, Gohan manages to stop him.
Krillin: Oh - thank you for stopping me, Gohan, because I can't shut—
Dende: They're from Earth.
Krillin: Little Green! Why?
Dende: Because my name is Dende.
Freeza: Earth, huh? I'll stop by there on the way home, pick up some space eggs, some space milk and BLOW IT THE F*CK UP! (suddenly calm) Oh, I'm sorry; I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a little bit ABSOLUTELY LIVID.
Vegeta: Oh, Freeza, quit being such a woman. I lost my chance at immortality too, and you don't see me crying about it.
Freeza: Yes, Vegeta, but you see, the difference between us is I'll live long enough to regret it. (charges Vegeta)
When Freeza's still in his first form, locked in a power struggle with Vegeta, his scouter displays the message "F**K THIS. I'M OUT." seconds before exploding.
During the flashback about Bardock's warning:
Butarega: Bardock has gone absolutely mad, sire!"
Bardock: (off in the distance, in his own movie) "FREEZA!"
Butarega: He's been telling everyone that Freeza plans to destroy Vegeta.
King Vegeta: Wait, my son, the planet, or me?
* Beat*
Butarega: ...Yes.
[King Vegeta blasts Butarega away]
King Vegeta: Friggin' smartass.
- King Vegeta has very bad taste in councilors:
  King Vegeta: Councilor Nappa, what do you suggest?
  Nappa: (wearing Jafar's headdress) Let me tell you what you need to do: you need to sit him down...
  King Vegeta: Uh-huh...
  Nappa: ...You look him dead in the eye...
  King Vegeta: Uh-huh...
  Nappa: ...and say..."Don't blow up my planet."
  King Vegeta: And you're sure this will work?
  Nappa: He'd have to be awfully evil if it didn't. And—not gonna lie...I like the cut of his jib.
- Then when the King goes to discuss the matter with Freeza...
King Vegeta: Freeza, can I sit down and have a word with-
Freeza: SHORYUKEN! (kills King Vegeta with a Dragon Punch)
KO! YOU WIN!
Freeza: ...yatta.
(Cut back to the present)
Freeza: And then I blew up the planet. The end~
Vegeta: How did you know about the parts you weren't there for?
Freeza: >:(
(Explosive transformation as Freeza takes his second form)
Gohan: Krillin! Do you feel that?!
Krillin: I TASTE THAT!
When Dende heals Gohan.
Dende: (healing Gohan) Come on...you can't leave me alone here; you're the only one I can talk to!
Gohan: (regaining consciousness) I... you... healed me.
Dende: You are the only one I respect.
Gohan: Then why did you heal Krillin?
Dende: The better question is...why did I tell him he was immortal?
When Gohan's Roaring Rampage of Revenge after Freeza (almost) kills Krillin fails.
Gohan: Think! what would dad do in this situation?
Goku: (flashback) Bye, son!
Gohan: I'm beginning to think I have issues.
When Krillin comes back in top form after being impaled:
Vegeta: (inner monologue) I swear if he used that wish for immortality on himself, I am going to murde—
[creeping realization]
Vegeta: (out loud) That... bastard.
SOCIAL ACTIVITYYYYY!
If you listen carefully when Piccolo first meets Nail, you can hear Nail call Freeza a "douche" in Namekian.
When Krillin gets impaled on Freeza's horn. In comparison to the original series, which made it seem like this really was the end for him, the abridged version has Krillin squealing like he's got a mild stomach cramp.
Krillin: THIS IS...THE WORST...PAI-AI-AIN!!!
While Freeza is owning Krillin so much he starts getting 1Ups...
Gohan: Krillin, stop! You're making him stronger!
Krillin tells the gang how he blinded Freeza with Solar Flare;
Gohan: And then you used your Ki-Enzan to cut him in half?
Krillin: Ummm...
Freeza: I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!!
Krillin: To answer your question, Gohan, no, I did not do that.
Krillin learns that he isn't immortal.
Krillin: Wait, you mean I could have actually died?
Vegeta: Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it.
Krillin: Hax! I call hax!
Piccolo's Big Damn Heroes moment is accompanied by Magus' battle music. ^note
Nail explains his plan to Piccolo.
Nail: There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans.
Piccolo: And we're just gonna abuse it?
Nail: Oh, maliciously!
Piccolo: Bitchin'! How we do?
Freeza "taunting" Vegeta while he tortures Gohan
Freeza: So Vegeta, does this get you angry?
Vegeta: Not really, kind of a smart ass.
Freeza: Well then, why am I even bothering?!
Vegeta: Because... you get off on it...?
Freeza: (Psychotic Smirk) Oh, unbelievably!
Piccolo's first thoughts on Namek:
"What was that idiot doing, bringing me here? It's...wait a minute. I can feel it. This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields... The crystal clear waters... The wind brushing past my—GOD this is boring! Huh...no wonder I feel right at home."
How Vegeta knew that Freeza can transform.
Freeza: I CAN TRANSFO—okay, when and how?
Vegeta: Guldo told me.
[cutaway]
Guldo: So... Did you know that Freeza can transform?
Vegeta: Huh. That right?
Guldo: Yeah. And Burter's gay!
Vegeta: (genuine surprise) Really!?
[cutaway]
Vegeta: And then I threw a dog treat at him. True story.
"SUUUUUCK MYYYYY DIIIIIIIIIIII..."
Freeza tries telling the lightbulb joke to Piccolo:
Freeza: Now tell me if you’ve heard this one: How many Namekians does it take to *gets punched into the distance by Piccolo* BDOAH!
Piccolo: Just one.
Unlike in canona, Freeza doesn't believe in the myth of the Super Saiyan and reacts to Vegeta's boasting that he has become a Super Saiyan with mild exasperation.
Vegeta: Because Freeza. You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore. I am a Super Saiyan!
Freeza: Oh, here we go!
Vegeta: That's right, Freeza. I've arisen beyond the limits of a normal Saiyan, and into the realm of legend— the legend that you fear. The legend known throughout the entire universe as the most powerful warrior to ever exist! (Freeza starts speaking faintly at this point) I, Prince Vegeta, have become a... (voice completely trails off)
Freeza: ...Super Saiyan. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I get it. Then you slayed the Jabberwocky and went on to save Narnia.

Episode 26: Alien vs. Piccolo

Vegeta, on Power Creep:
Vegeta: Back on your planet, the Namek couldn't even stand up to Nappa. Yet here he is now, standing up to Freeza. In his second form.
Gohan: So what do you think happened?
Vegeta: Well, either Freeza hit me so hard I'm in a delusional coma, or...
Gohan: Or?
Vegeta: Power levels are BULLSHIT!
The miraculous return of the Kanassans:
Kanassan 1: I CAN SEE THE FUTUUUUUURE!
Kanassan 2: BULMA AND VEGETA HAVE A KIIIIIID!
Kanassan 3: THE REAL BUU IS A CHILD!
Kanassan 4: CELL REACHES HIS PERFECT FOOOOORM!
Kanassan 5: GOTEN AND TRUNKS BECOME A GUUUUYYYY!
Kanassan 6: GOHAN IS THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE BUT STILL DOESN'T DO CRAAAAAAP!
- And Vegeta's dialogue beforehand:
  "Alright, I just gotta find one of the Ginyus' ships and get the hell out of here! I'll just go to Freeza Planet 419. Nobody ever goes to Freeza Planet 419. Not since its species miraculously repopulated.
The Stinger has this exchange:
Krillin: Little Green! NOOOOOOOO!!!
Gohan: Actually Krillin, his name was Dende.
Krillin: Huh, that's funny. He never spoke up about it.
A brilliant send up of the series' "weighted clothing" concept:
Piccolo: Don't think you have the upper hand yet. I'm still wearing weighted armour!
Freeza: Weighted armour? How quaint. And how much does it weigh?
Piccolo: Same as it always does: one hundred kilo-
Freeza grins
Piccolo: ...Oh.
Freeza: That's just cute!
Piccolo: That concept just sort of lost meaning after a while, didn't it?
After Krillin sees Piccolo crack his knuckles and neck in a truly awesome way.
Krillin: Aw man that sounded good, now I have to do my neck. [SNAP] OWWW MY NECK! [Krillin Owned Count: 26]
- When Freeza transforms into his third form, Krillin is still wailing in pain.
Piccolo and Nail's conversation during Freeza's 2nd transformation.
Nail: Hey man, can I talk to you about something really quick?
Piccolo: I'm seriously in the middle of something right now!
Nail: Yeah, I know, but I've been looking around and you've got like NO apps in here. I have already played the crap out of Minesweeper.
Piccolo: COULD YOU JUST- wait, I have apps? I have Minesweeper?! I just thought I could connect to the internet with my antennae!
Nail: I didn't know we could do that!
Piccolo: We all learn something new every day. Now could you just let me focus?!
Nail: Hey...you want to play me in Minesweeper?
Piccolo: You CAN'T play someone in Minesweeper! That's a single-player game!
Nail: First I go, then you go and try to beat my time, and...hey, is he transforming?
Piccolo: DAMN IT!
And then, the exchange after Freeza transforms into his third form.
Freeza: So Namekian, what do you think of my third form?
Piccolo: I think Ridley Scott's gonna sue somebody.
Freeza: What are you talking about? *Alien tongue bursts out of mouth and makes noises* Let me touch your skin...
Piccolo: *disturbed yell*
Definitely this exchange:
Freeza: I have a question for you though.
Piccolo: What’s that?
Freeza: DIE.
Piccolo: ... That's... not... a... questio- *gets knocked into plateau*
Freeza: That's because I don't do requests.
When Vegeta tried fleeing, this happened:
Freeza: (suddenly appears) So, Vegeta, where do you think you're going?
Vegeta: (nervously) Oh, y'know... (shifts eyes) places...
Freeza: Places, hm? Like that mountain over there?
Vegeta: (looking) Actually, that looks more like a plat—*PUNCH*—EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUU!!
Freeza's "game"
Freeza: How about this? Let's play a game. Ever hear of paintball?
Piccolo: Yeah...
Freeza: Just remove the "t".
Piccolo: I don't ge- (Freeza blasts him in the knee) OH-HO I GET IT!
- Plus the exchange right afterward that would later be alluded to in episode 29.
  Freeza: Now for your other glubok! (He blasts Piccolo again.)
  Piccolo: AGH! ... You're not really familiar with our anatomy, are you?
  Freeza: It doesn't matter! I'll hit your glubok somewhere! (starts repeatedly blasting Piccolo)
Vegeta's request to Krillin:
Vegeta: I need you to—and follow me on this one—almost kill me.
Krillin: Almost... kill you?
Vegeta: Yeah.
Krillin: And there's no repercussion for this?
Vegeta: I will not punch you.
Krillin: Oddly specific...
Vegeta: I'm going to need a moment to prepare myself; otherwise I might go into sh—(Krillin shoots him)—AUCK! You are so punched!
Gohan asks Krillin where Dende is so they can heal Piccolo.
Krillin: I dunno, but Little Green's over there with Vegeta.
Gohan: Why?
Krillin: (nonchalantly) I blew a hole in his chest.
(Beat)
Gohan: WHY??
Krillin: (still nonchalantly) Because he asked for it.
Dende and Vegeta
Vegeta: You, green thing, heal me.
Dende: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time hearing you over the smell of my people's blood on your hands.
Vegeta: Oh, no. Do not be that guy right now.
Dende: Oh, I'm going to be that guy right now.
Vegeta: I am literally going to die!
Dende: Well, how about this... I'll heal you, on one condition.
Vegeta: And that is?
Dende: Say my name.
Vegeta: Oh... uhhhhhh...
Dende: You don't even know my name...
Vegeta: Oh! I-I do. It's, uh... um, uh... Little... Green.
Dende: Hahahahahaha No. No, it's Dende. Say, "Dende."
Vegeta: "Dende!"
Dende: Now, say, "Please heal me, Dende."
Vegeta: "Please heal me, Dende."
Dende: Well, since you asked so nicely... (flies away)
Vegeta: Come back... magic man...(collapses)
Gohan asks why Krillin still hasn't used his Kienzan to fight Freeza.
Krillin: You know, I keep forgetting to do that.
(Beat)
Gohan: And...?
Krillin: Well, I kind of used all my energy to mortally wound Vegeta.
Gohan: Seriously, what did I miss??

Episode 27: The Saiyan Formerly Known as Prince

The opening.
Goku: I'm sure they're doing just fine.
Vegeta: HEALER'S DOWN!
Krillin: NEED A REZ!
Gohan: OUT OF MANA!
All three: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
- Before that, Goku was singing "Put the Lime in the Coconut".
When Gohan, Krillin and Piccolo are all certain of their defeat and Vegeta keeps boasting how good he is:
Krillin: I couldn't even follow that attack! It was almost instantaneous!
Vegeta: Yup, just gonna stand here and keep bein' awesome—
Piccolo: There's nothing we can do against that kind of power!
Vegeta: (annoyed) Uh, hello, awesome? Right here.
Gohan: We're all gonna die!
Vegeta: ... You know what? All of you better duck, because I'm about to turn left and I don't want to SMACK YOU WITH MY DICK.
After Vegeta gives yet another speech about Super Saiyans, Freeza responds with this:
Freeza: Okay, seriously. First off: "Super Saiyan." What is that? What even IS that? I'll tell you what it is: It's just some stupid legend passed by your filthy monkey ancestors around a campfire like it was their own dung. Let me tell you, Vegeta: I don't deal in legends, I deal in facts. And here's a fact: By the end of this, you are going to be crying, like a little BITCH.
- And immediately after that speech...
Vegeta: Bitch, you just jealous of my Super Saiyan swagger.
Freeza: Oh, for f*ck's sake...
During their, ah, “fight”, Vegeta and Freeza's thoughts.
Vegeta: (thinking) Yes! I have him on the ropes! All he can do is dodge me!
Freeza: (thinking) God, Zarbon's dead, Dodoria's dead, the Ginyus are dead... this has been one giant mess. It's just like that jockstrap incident, only now I don't have Ginyu around to dig the holes!
While firing an impressive but ineffective Beam Spam, Vegeta yelling "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!"
The return of "DOOOOOOOOOOODGE!!"
Vegeta actually crying in front of Freeza:
(Vegeta falters and starts trembling)
Vegeta: Wha... how... how is that... oh god...
Freeza: See, it's like I told you, Vegeta. "Like a bitch."
Vegeta: (voice cracking, tears streaming down his face) Sh-shut up!
Freeza: Oh my god, you actually are crying!
Vegeta: (hoarsely, and through Inelegant Blubbering) I'M NOT CRYING! I'M NOT!
Freeza: Honestly, now I just feel bad. Usually I just blow up whatever's in my way, but with you, I've gotten kind of attached! It's sort of like putting down Old Space Yeller.
Krillin: (offscreen) HOW IS THAT A THING?
Freeza: It's sad, really. But before we part ways, Vegeta, let me tell you a tale... (swats Vegeta with his tail) The end.
EVERYTHING that the extremely short-lived Jamaican crab (that sounds very similar to Sebastian the Crab) says before getting eaten by Freeza in Episode 27.
"Wa gwaan, bredren Vegeta. Me be a spirit animal. And me here to tell ya how to mash up dat bumbaclot Freeza. All you got to do is ..." *crunch*
- Then an episode or so later, Freeza tilts his head, and the crab falls out his ear going "Eymon!"
A classic gag with a dictator’s take on it.
Freeza: Hey Vegeta.
Vegeta: (in pain) Wh-... What?
(Freeza punches him)
Freeza: Stop hitting yourself.
(Freeza punches him again)
Freeza: Stop hitting yourself.
(Freeza punches him one more time)
Freeza: Stop hitting yourself.
(Freeza punches him then drops Vegeta)
Vegeta: (groans in pain) You’re the one hitting me!
Freeza: Au contraire Vegeta... You brought this on yourself.
(Freeza kicks him away).
The whole scene with Freeza curb stomping Vegeta is pretty morbid, but it's humorous when Krillin asks if they should do something about it.
Freeza: (appears) Oh, go ahead, pool's open; water's fine. (everyone just stands there, shaking in their boots) No? Just going to stand there like a bunch of pissants? Thought so.
The round of "Row row row your boat". Note that the singing round includes King Kai and Tien, but cuts off before Yamcha.
- Meta example in that shortly before the episode's release, The Nostalgia Critic reviewed Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, which had an infamous scene of Kirk and McCoy singing Row Row Row Your Boat. KaiserNeko noted this coincidence on Twitter.
When Goku arrives, he talks to the others. This happens.
Goku: Piccolo? When did you come back?
Piccolo: Uh... Dragon Balls.
Goku: Oh. Neat. [to Krillin] Hey Krillin! That armor looks funny on ya!
Gohan: DAD!!!
Goku: (indifferent) Hey.
- And then he turns to Freeza:
  Goku: So, are you that Freezer guy?
  Freeza: (irritated) ... I am Lord Freeza, yes.
  Goku: (cheerfully) Awesome! I'mma deck you in the schnoz!
  (Freeza stares blankly for a second, then drops Vegeta)
  Vegeta: ow...
  Freeza: I'm... sorry, that's a new one. Who... are you exactly?
- Then he attempts a Badass Boast.
  Goku: I'm Goku! I'm insane! From Earth!
  (Beat)
  Vegeta: (strained) He means... Saiyan...
  - And then Freeza's response:
    Freeza: Well, between you and the Namekian, I think I've lost my touch at genocide.
Freeza explains why Vegeta is injured:
Freeza: Unfortunately, Vegeta and I had a disagreement. He wanted himself to live, and, well... I didn't.
Goku: Why do you wanna die?
Freeza: Wha—? No, I-I... I mean-I meant, I wanted him to die—
Goku: Is it 'cause you look weird?
Freeza: What!?
Goku: Ah, you know, you got that big head, those weird lips and that tail—
(Freeza growls in anger and tries to blast Goku; Goku swats the blast away)
Goku: —and you don't have ears...
Freeza: Okay, no.
(Freeza shoots multiple beams that Goku swats away effortlessly.)
Goku: ... And to top it all off, you're really kind of a jerk.
Freeza: (shocked) And apparently, this is now happening. Vegeta! Explain!
After hearing Vegeta talking about the Super Saiyan legend the whole episode, (Mostly in relation to himself) you can tell Freeza sees it coming again. Each word out of Freeza's mouth is angrier than the last in the following exchange.
Vegeta: You see, Freeza? You aren't dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore-
Freeza: (sounding utterly done) OH. MY. GOD!!!
Vegeta: He has risen above and become a legend... the legend that you fear... He has become... a Super Sai— (Freeza blasts him in the chest with a Death Beam. Vegeta gasps, then collapses.)
Goku: Vegeta!
Freeza: No, seriously, you have no idea how old that got.
Vegeta attempting to rock Freeza like a hurricane. It fails. ^note
"Huh, I should've known that was only a one-hit wonder."

Episode 28: Leave It to Freezer

The opening, which has Vegeta stating the usual legal stuff, but clearly dying with each breath.
Vegeta's dying words.
Vegeta: You are our race's last hope. You are the last remaining Saiyan. ...Oh god, you're the last remaining Saiyan.
After kicking Freeza into a mountain, the two exchange banter. Goku gets in a legitimate taunt.
- And actually thanks his brain for coming up with it.
Goku being totally blind to Freeza thinly-veiled threats and sarcasm.
Freeza: I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine.
Goku: Is he nice?
Freeza: Rock solid! (lifts a mountain) Filthy monkey, meet "General Mountain"!!
* beat*
Goku "... Hi General Mountain! I'm Go-*SLAM*
All of the ensuing fight between Goku and Freeza... as Freeza gradually loses it from exposure to Goku's stupidity.
- Half the fun is Goku taking Freeza's thinly-veiled threats and taunts at face value.
Vegeta calls to Goku from beyond the grave in the same way Ghost Nappa does to him, only to wind up annoying himself and shouting at Goku.
- Better yet is Goku completely derailing Vegeta's speech and shattering the somber atmosphere with a simple question.
  Goku: Why are you naked?
- Vegeta tells Goku that your clothes don't come with you when you die. Goku says his stayed with him.
  Vegeta: That lying red motherfucker!
  (later, at King Yemma's)
  King Yemma: (To all arriving souls) Strip... next. Strip... next. Strip... next. Strip... (Beat, leans forward) nice.
  Arriving soul: Recoome thanks you!
The random moment with Bulma shows her drinking the planet's water.
Bulma: Oh God! That was so refreshing... too bad it was all saltwater though. (faints)
Freeza finds Goku just isn't the same as his now-deceased minions:
Goku: My butt is flaming!
Freeza: (wistfully) ... I miss Zarbon.
Krillin getting hit in the face with Freeza's puke, bringing the Krillin Owned Counter up to 27.
When Goku says to Freeza that he won the game because he fought without his shirt (he bet Freeza he wouldn't after Freeza said he was going to fight without his hands).
Goku: You punched me in the face!
Freeza: You bit my tail!
Goku: You punched me in the face.
Freeza: YOU BIT MY F*CKING TAIL!
Goku: Yeah, well I still haven't used my shirt—(absolutely sincere) Does that mean I win?
Freeza: ... yes! Yes, you win!
Goku: What do I win?
Freeza: Another bath!
(Beat)
Goku: But I'm not dir—
(Cut to Goku being drowned by Freeza)
Freeza: Just tell me when you need to come up for air.
The following exchange, just after Vegeta's burial. Freeza's expression while saying the last line is priceless:
Freeza: Come now, I'm sure he's in a better place... Oh, who am I kidding? He's probably in Hell!
Goku: I don't know, I went to Hell once. The only real bad part was these two oiled-up German guys trying to wrestle me.
Freeza: ... are you real?
- And to top it all off, as Freeza would soon find out later, what Goku said is entirely true.
Goku denounces Freeza as a monster who kills anyone, even children:
Freeza: Oh please, everyone's always on about the children. I already tried leaving them alive, but all they do is grow up under my rule or dedicate their pathetic lives to revenge. Usually both. Really, killing them this a kindness. I can retract that kindness if you wish, but then who's the villain?
Goku: (totally lost) Y... you.
Freeza: (actually confused) N-no, that was a rhetorical question.
Goku: And I gave you a rhetorical answer!
Freeza: ... Good lord, I traded Vegeta for this.
- Made even funnier that Goku is one of the children 'spared' by Freeza's genocide of the Saiyans, who did not grow under Freeza's rule or dedicate his life to revenge, that would be Vegeta.
Goku's brain appearing to be voiced by Orson Welles, at least if its garbled comments about "frozen peas" while Goku is drowning were any indication.
The beginning;
Goku: Vegeta, no!
Gohan: Vegeta, no!
Krillin: Don't worry, Gohan. Little Green'll— (shot of Dende's corpse) ...oh. Vegeta, no!
Piccolo: ... Meh.
Goku continuing to be a terrible father.
Goku: Piccolo, you take care of Gohan.
Piccolo: So... keep doing what I've been doing, then?
Goku: Yah-huh.
Piccolo: Yeah, I figured. Let's go!
Krillin: Oh thank god!
Piccolo and Krillin fly away.
Gohan: (whispering) Dad... beat him within an inch of his life... AND HANG HIM UP BY HIS ENTRAILS!
Goku: (to himself) Wow, he sounds like he's had a hard time. Piccolo should really have a talk with him.
Freeza asking if Goku wants to play a "game".
Freeza: (threateningly) Want to play a game?
Beat
Goku: Yes...
After the "pinball" game:
Freeza: So how did you like that game, monkey?
Goku: Eh, it was okay.
Freeza: Wha- you...
Goku: It's no Donkey Kong though. That has a pie level!
Freeza: (Wide eyed, says nothing. Leans forward making a creaking sound)
- Said Pinball game is followed by a high score board (With the new top scorer being ASS). It costs 1/2 Raditz for a new game.
  - The high score board is actually the official power levels of said characters, which turns it into a majestic brag for Freeza!
Why Vegeta got shot:
Goku: Vegeta, are you all right?
Vegeta: (weakly) I have... a f**king hole in my chest... WHY DIDN'T YOU BLOCK THAT ONE!?
Goku: I thought you had it!
Vegeta: (passionately exasperated) NO!
Freeza: It's funny how he's still talking, I could have sworn I hit a lung- (Vegeta coughs blood) Oh there it is!
Freeza starts to lose his patience with Goku.
Freeza: How do you function?
Goku: Hey, I'm just like any other guy. I pay my taxes one leg at a time!
Freeza: ... I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like a sack of dumb puppies.
Goku: What? Why would you drown puppies!?
Freeza: (snidely) Because they're cute and cuddly.
Goku: Are... you coming on to me?
Freeza: Arrr...!
(punches Goku into water)
The end of the episode:
Freeza: (still holding Goku under the water) Any last words, monkey? Besides "gurgle gurgle?"
Goku: (Goku breaks out from under the water) Yeah! Kaio-ken!
Freeza: Kaio-what?
(Goku punches Freeza away)
Goku: KA! ME! HA! ME! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (he apparently obliterates Freeza)
Freeza: (emerges from the blast relatively unscathed) No, seriously. Kaio-what?
Goku: Kaio-crap!
Freeza: (smugly) I thought so. (zaps Goku)

Episode 29: Freeza Burn

The disclaimer is read by Krillin, followed by this gem of an exchange.
Lanipator: That was perfect, Krillin. Don't worry about your check, we'll send it to your next of kin.
Krillin: ... What?
Freeza after pulling Goku out of the water
Freeza: Now what do you have to say for yourself, monkey?
Goku: (coughs up water onto Freeza's face)
(Beat, music stops while Freeza's smiling face remains unchanged)
Freeza: (starts kicking the crap out of Goku repeatedly)
Goku: AY! OW! UH! AH! OH! Son of a—!
The entire bit with the Ginyu Force on King Kai's planet. Including lines from Yamcha.
Yamcha: [King Kai's training] is bogus!
Tien: I'm going to do my best to overlook the fact that you just used the word "bogus".
- King Kai's casual reaction to the tree Guldo threw at his house.
  King Kai: Hey, I was just inside, taking a crap, I'm old, takes a while, come out, there's a tree in my living room... What's up?
- Chiaotzu fails to be impressed by the Ginyu Force:
  Chiaotzu: Looks like a bunch of queers.
  Tien: Chiaotzu! We don't even know them. You shouldn't make such rash judgements abou—
  (the Ginyu Force strike their introduction pose)
  Tien: ... Well, we shouldn't think less of them for it.
- When King Kai gets volunteered to fight the Ginyus, they start incredulously insulting him over how tiny and weak and feeble he is. Up until Guldo chimes in, who is all of those things, and the best insult he can come up with is "YOU'RE BLUE!"
- And when the Ginyus get kicked down to hell by King Kai:
  Goz: Meeeeez! Ve have visitaaaaars! Prepare ze camps.
- As it turns out, Goz meant a literal campsite. Which later got renovated into a cul-de-sac by the same guys that just dropped in.
This exchange:
Goku: No, I can't lose. I have to beat you. You're evil, and you have to be stopped!
Freeza: Oh, come now. If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then let God strike me down where I stand. (lightning strikes Freeza, to no effect) HA! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!
Freeza's frustration at not understanding what Goku's up to with the Spirit Bomb.
Freeza: There you go again, throwing your hands up in the air like you just don't care. CARE, DAMN IT!
Freeza gets hit by the Spirit Bomb:
Freeza: (in a calm tone despite the look of horror on his face) ... Oh. Somehow I *completely* forgot about that...
[The Spirit Bomb absorbs his attack with an "om nom nom" sound]
Freeza: (still calm) Oh my god.
(Freeza struggles with the Spirit Bomb but realizes that he can't hold it back)
Freeza: (thinking) If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake... it's that I'm dying.
Piccolo taunting Freeza to stall for time is pure gold.
Freeza: And I just keep getting reminded of my failures!!
Piccolo: You mean your failure at killing me or just in general?
The Call-Back to Piccolo having Goku distract Raditz while Goku is charging the spirit bomb. This time, the positions are reversed.
Piccolo: (flabbergasted) Did... you just hold a grudge?
- And just like Piccolo, Goku sang a song while Piccolo was getting a beatdown. The song was, again, Mahna Mahna.
  - I'ma charging my attack.
  - If you listen carefully the beatdown, Piccolo says "Oh God, my glubok!"
Freeza's reappearance: "By the way, not dead. Kthnx DIE."
When Freeza kills Krillin after taking out Piccolo:
Krillin: (after seeing Piccolo taken out) Whoa, for a moment there I thought that was gonna be me.
Freeza: Ohoho! ...You're next.
Krillin: Wait, what'd I do to you?!
Freeza: Remember my tail?
Krillin: Can't you take a joke?
(pause as Freeza gives an ugly stare at Krillin, while Krillin gives his best attempt at an innocent smile)
Krillin: WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! (explodes)
(beat)
(Krillin's Owned Count goes to 28)
Freeza finally loses his cool.
Freeza: That's stupid! You're stupid! STOP BEING STUPID!
Goku: Or... maybe I'm being rhetorical.
Freeza: NO!!! NO YOU'RE NOT! God, it's like you just use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter!
Goku: Huh. Well, now you're just acting transcendent.
Freeza: (growls and knees Goku in the face)
"RECOOOOOOOOOOOMEEE! DIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEE!
- "Hello" "Yaarr"
After Guldo throws the tree at King Kai's house:
Burter: Whoa, little quick to the trigger there, Ace!
Guldo: Sorry, I kinda lost my head there after I... lost my head.
Then a few seconds later they start insulting King Kai.
Recoome: What? Recoome has to fight this? He doesn't even come up to Recoome's knee caps!
Jeice: For all he can't even handle a gut full of piss.
Burter: I bet he can't even run a mile!
Guldo: YOU'RE BLUE!
King Kai: Yeah, all of you can go straight to hell.
Recoome: Oh yeah? And who's gonna make, Recoome?
Freeza spotting the huge Spirit Bomb above him.
Freeza: What is that glare? That's not a sun, it's not a moon and it's certainly not a space station - what is that? (looks up) What... is... that - What is that!?
Goku: Are we still playing twenty questions?
Freeza: You were planning to use this on me, weren't you!?
Goku: ... Yeah...
Also, Krillin keeps blurting out what Goku's doing, and how strong the Spirit Bomb is.
Piccolo: Shut up!
Krillin: Too scared!
Piccolo: Damn it!
Freeza: What is that fool yammering on about?
Goku: He's talking about... ghosts.
Freeza: ... Ghosts.
Goku: (Eyes shifting) Yeah, you know... Spirits? ...Ghosts?
Probably unintentional but if you count the number of questions when the game started, Freeza is the winner of the 20 questions game. Who spoke the 21st? Krillin.
The stinger, after Freeza kills Krillin:
Mr. Popo: (dramatic close-up) CALLED IT.

Episode 30: Freeza: The Final Cut

Part 1 of 3

It starts off with King Kai being amazed.
King Kai: I don't believe it! Goku has truly done it! He has become the one and only Super Saiyan! (Beat) Right?
Narrator: Y-yeah...
King Kai: You hesitated there for a second. (beat) What?
A very pissed off Goku still brings the funny:
Goku: I'm going to break you.
Freeza: What!?
Goku: (very angrily) Like a Kit-Kat bar.
Freeza: ... what?! *Goku sends him flying* WHAT?!
Goku's Badass Boast.
Goku: I am the hope of the omniverse! I am the light bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon in the fridge for all living things to cry out in hunger! I am the alpha and the Amiga! I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am Son Goku, and I am a Super-
(Freeza laser blasts his face)
Goku: (leans forward unharmed) Saiyan.
- The exchange just before:
  Freeza: You... You're different. What happened? What the Hell Are You?
  Goku: Can't you tell Freezer? It's just like Vegeta said.
  Freeza: No, YOU F**KING DON'T.
Freeza not knowing how long the planet is going to take to blow up and just guesses 5 minutes... Not even close.
Freeza tries to barter with Goku:
Freeza: If you let me power up... I'll give you a pizza!
Goku: ... You killed my best friend, Freezer. That's not going to work anymore.
Freeza: TWO PIZZAS!
Goku: I SAID I'M DONE! (Goku charges at him, screaming)
Freeza: (confidently) With stuffed crust.
(Goku immediately stops on a dime)
Beat
King Kai: (sternly) Goku...
Goku: Now hear me out, King Kai. If I let him power up to 100% and beat him then, it will demoramalize him and he'll never threaten anyone again.
King Kai: Goku, that is retarded!
Goku: STUFFED CRUST, KING KAI! YOU CAN EAT IT IN REVERSE. (Inside Goku's eye is an actual stuffed crust pizza being ripped apart)
King Kai: I can't even believe we're having this conversation.
Goku: Me neither.
- What follows is this:
  Freeza: Thanks for waiting, by the way!
  Goku: Hold on a second, King Kai. What was that?
  (Freeza starts wailing on Goku)
  Freeza: SMASH MONKEY!!! SMASH MONKEY!!!!!
Shenron acknowledges Mr. Popo as his master and asks him if it's finally time to lay waste to the Earth. Popo tells him, "Eh... not yet. Give 'em a couple hundred years. See if they can clean this up."
- Then this exchange happens:
  Shenron: Then how might I be of service, Lord Popo?
  Popo: Good question. Kami, the f**k am I doing?
  Kami: Good question. King Kai, the f**k is he doing?
  King Kai: Aw, my head...!
King Kai's attempt to talk to Mr. Popo telepathically. His antennae explode. And Mr. Popo then gets to fire off the best line in the saga:
King Kai: How the hell do you work with this guy?
Kami: It's easier than you think.
(Cut to Mr. Popo about to summon the dragon)
Mr. Popo: I'M SO F**KING HIGH RIGHT NOW.
Freeza becomes upset when Goku stops speaking and, after going into a rant about how superior he is to the now-Super Saiyan, decides to blow up Namek.
Freeza: You think now that you're this so-called "Super Saiyan" that you're better than me, Lord Freeza?! (losing his shit) Well, you're not! I own you! I own your planet! I own this planet! In fact... (charges up a large orange energy sphere) F**K THIS PLANET!!! (throws Death Ball directly at Namek)
- Goku's response to this?
  Goku: Wait, I zoned out there for a second. Wha?
  (*EXPLOSION*)
  King Kai: ... No...! NO, NO- SONUVABITCH! GAAAH!!
This exchange:
King Kai: Are you questioning GOD?
Kami: Are you?
King Kai: Not in the mood, Kami!
When Freeza fails to blow up Namek
Goku: D-Did you miss?
Freeza: How could I miss?!
Goku: I dunno, how did ya?
Freeza: I know I hit the core... God, this always happens when I try and perform under stress.
When Gohan is carrying Bulma back to the ship she angrily bitching at him as she's been prone to the entire trip to Namek but she forgets that Gohan is flying, and even he is sick of her shit at this point.
Bulma: Oh, well how nice of you to finally come and get me! Only left me stranded all on my own to fend for myself! Planet is going to hell, I almost die, AND I'M FREAKING THE F**K OUT!
Gohan: (utterly unphased) Bulma, how high would you have to fall from to hit terminal velocity?
Bulma: (glares, but stays silent)
Gohan: I thought so.
- Beforehand, Gohan finds a stranded and very irate Bulma, who is making what can only be described as Unearthly Eldritch Sounds.
King Kai snapping at the Z fighters for assuming he'd keep them all informed, and Tien lampshading that it reflects how little they've accomplished.
King Kai: I don't have to tell you everything! I don't have to tell you anything!
Tien: And that pretty much sums up our time spent here.
- When Yamcha asks King Kai what's going on Namek, King Kai says they could just hold onto his shoulders, but Yamcha complains he smells:
King Kai: That's my natural musk. Mmmmusk... mmmmmmusk...
Tien: Stop saying 'Musk'.
King Kai: Stop eating my food.

Part 2 of 3

Guru upon resurrection:
Guru: Ahh! Oh. Right, I stopped my heart for a couple minutes there. (notices destruction of Namek) Oh god! Global warming!? NAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII—
Vegeta coming back:
Vegeta: When there's no more room in Hell, Vegeta shall walk the—
(Vegeta notices the world blowing up around him)
Vegeta: (deadpan) Other Hell, what the hell?
- Also, Vegeta checking to see if he was still alive.
  Vegeta: (thinking) Well, at least my clothes are back, that's a start. Am I alive? (punches himself and goes down) Ugh! Yay! I'm alive! (coughs blood)
The Running Gag that has developed between the dead Z Warriors and King Kai about how he's always loudly reacting to what happens on Namek and hoping one of them will ask what's happening.
- The Creator Commentary video for this episode reveals that this was an in-joke poking fun at KaiserNeko, who does this all the time during Skype/Discord calls while reading articles and such.
Guru confessing to the Namekians that he's the one who drank all their planet's water, not the Albino Namekians, before dying of old age (a second time). Except he wasn't dying. The mob of angry Namekians fixes this, though.
Guru: Remember when I said that [the albino Namekians] were responsible for the disappearance of our precious water?
Namekian 1: We slaughtered thousands...
Guru: It was me.
Namekian 2: How!?
Guru: I drank it.
Namekian 3: Wha—!?
Guru: How do you think I got so FAAAAT?
Namekians: (Stunned Silence)
Guru: And now I can die with a clear conscience. Hurk! Err! (still alive) Uh... UGH! (realizes he can't do his dick move twice) Uh, oh.
Moori: KILL HIM!
(Angry mob charge at Guru)
Guru: NOOOOO! NAAAAAAAAAAAIL!
(Angry mob hacking Guru to pieces)
Guru (gurgling and fading): Choke on... them...! Choke on them...! Choke on them...!
- Plus there's Gohan, Bulma, Piccolo and Vegeta's shocked expressions while this goes on.
Freeza and the revived Dende's brief conversation after the latter makes the final wish before Freeza does.
(Everyone on the planet except Goku and Freeza vanishes sent away)
Freeza: What? No! This isn't what I wished for? What's going on?!
Dende: Down here!
Freeza: YOU! No... No you didn't!
Dende: So what if I did? What are you going to do about it, huh? Come at me bro!
(Freeza fires at him, then Dende poofs away before it hits)
- Dende wishing everyone except Goku and Freeza to Earth with Porunga. When King Kai asks how he knew that part of the plan, Dende simply says that he just wanted to screw over Freeza. The music helps.
During Goku and Freeza's fight...
Freeza: DIRTY MONKEY! [Spins around to see that Goku has disappeared] Huh? Where— [Goku appears in front of him, two heads higher and with his abs in front of Freeza's face] Oh, my god, you could grind meat on th— [stumbles back] GAH!
Then immediately after...
Goku: I'm done.
Freeza: What?
Goku: I'm done fighting you. I'm bored. You're boring me.
Freeza: Wha— Oh, I get it. You're scared, aren't you? Afraid knowing this planet has one minute left before it explodes!
Goku: Question.
Freeza: Huh?
Goku: Do you have a watch?
Freeza: No, why?
Goku: Do you know what a minute is?
Freeza: What? Of course I do!
Goku: I don't think you do...
Freeza: Bu— I— uh—
Goku, deciding that Freezer's tougher at 100%, decides to "Stratergize";
Goku: (thinking) I know! A distraction! Hey, look, Freezer! A giant dragon!
Freeza: What? (sees Porunga) Well, I'll be damned! Immortalityismine! (flies off)
Goku: (thinking) Ohhh, I am become error.
Guru calling for Nail:
Guru: Nail! NAIL!! NAAAAAAAAIL!!!
Piccolo: (thinking) I think he's looking for you.
Nail: Do not tell him I'm here.
Guru: Naaaail, I can sense you...!
Nail: DONOTMAKEEYECONTACT!
Freeza tries to finish Goku off with Death Saucer... only to have trouble controlling it.
Freeza: What are these, inverted controls?!
Vegeta trying to get off Namek his own way...
Vegeta: Alright, I know one of the Ginyu's ships has to be around here some—what...
(Vegeta sees Goku and Freeza fighting with power and intensity unlike anything seen so far in the series))
Vegeta: Yeah, think I'm-a stay away from that one... (sees Porunga) That, however... Minemineminemineminemine-
Goku kidney punching Freeza:
Goku: AH! Bad touch! Kidney shot! (whap!)
Freeza: HOIIIK
Goku: Kidney shot, (whap!) kidney shot, (whap!) kidney shot (whap!), and pause...
Freeza: (whimpering in abject pain)
Goku: STOMACH PUNCH!
Freeza: (collapses, pukes up blood) Gonna whiz red.
- A blink and you miss it moment; when Freeza bear hugs Goku from behind and forces him to make kidney shots, he squeaks.
Vegeta tries to get Freeza's attention before blasting him, but unfortunately...
Vegeta: Hey Freeza! Hope you're ready to party, CAUSE IT'S VEGETA CLO- (gets teleported to Earth)
Dende heals Piccolo:
Dende: May I hug you?
Piccolo: No!
Dende: Oh...
Vegeta admits he killed a Namekian village, so they weren't brought back to live along with the other Nameks. Guru praises him for doing that, and admits he hates all the other Namekians... except one child. Cue dragon balls falling back down to earth and one crushing said child. Guru laughs.
Goku slaps Freeza silly.
Goku: NOW SAY YOU'RE SORRY!
(Repeatedly slaps Freeza's face, with particular slow motion focus to how his face looks each hit with Freeza letting hilarious pained yelps after each slap)
Goku: ARE YOU SORRY YET?!
Freeza: (internally) I think I peed a little...
Goku's and Freeza's Volleying Insults:
Freeza: You think you're better than me?! You're nothing but an overgrown monkey!
Goku: And you're nothing but an overgrown that thing Chi-Chi keeps in her drawer!

Freeza: Will?! You?! Just?! Piss off already?!
Goku: I don't have to use the bathroom!
Freeza fails to control his Death Saucer, while Goku, who was about to leave, looks on.
Goku: What are you doing down there? Are you trying to swat a bee? *Beat* Because I don't like bees.
The scene where Freeza gets sliced in half by his own Death Saucer. What makes it hilarious is the build up.
Goku: Freezer, look out behind you!
Freeza: I already told you, that trick won't work!
Goku: No, serious! GET DOWN!
Freeza: Oh, ha ha! Keep going, you stupid, inbred monkey— (gets cleaved in two by the Death Saucer)
- Freeza's Non Sequitur, *Thud* after being bisected:
  Freeza: Daddy, I don't want to be on Namek anymore...

Part 3 of 3

Goku's endless puns.
Freeza: AGH! My organs! Stay in there! Stay in your home! Daddy needs you!
Goku: Wow, Freezer, you really were a cut above the rest. (Freeza groans) But too bad you didn't make the cut. (Freeza groans harder) I guess you could call this a slice of life.
Freeza: Please stop!
Goku: Alright, I'll cut you a break. I gotta split.
Goku finds the muffin button!
Goku: The controls! Where is it, where is it?
King Kai: It's about to blow!
Goku: Come on, come on! (finds the button) There! (presses it) (Out comes... a muffin.) Yes!!! (keeps pressing button and more muffins pop up)
King Kai: ...oh my god...
Goku: (muffins keep popping up) YAAAAAAAAYYYYY— (Namek explodes)
Tien lampshading how death is inconsequential in the Dragon Ball Z universe.
Tien: We're literally waiting to go back. Hell, this is Chiaotzu's second time.
Chiaotzu: Next time I get a free sundae!
- And later, when the two of them get wished back, he still wants that sundae. But he'll wait.
Bulma relaying King Kai's message that Goku is dead and that Namek is gone.
Bulma: Well, uh... Gohan, Goku's dead...
Gohan: Dammit!
Bulma: Namekians, your planet blew up...
Namekians: (in unison) Dammit!
When Dr. Briefs' ship arrives, Gohan senses a dark presence coming from it. Cue Chi-Chi dashing out of it.
Chi-Chi: (with Voice of the Legion) WHERE'S MY BABY?!
- And beforehand, Bulma states that Dr. Briefs is a billionaire philanthropist playboy followed by AC/DC's Back in Black.
Krillin's revival, still screaming in terror. This gets even sillier when you remember that Dragon Ball has an established afterlife, meaning that he actually spent the last four months screaming nonstop.
- And how Dende kept trying to get out of wishing him back.
Dende declaring his love for Gohan and when Gohan is understandably stunned by this he freaks out and immediately has Porunga teleport all the Namekians from old Namek to the new Namek.
Dr. Briefs: What a fa**Cut to the ending music**
- In the alternate take of the ending:
  Dr. Briefs: Finally, we're rid of all those dang Y-^noteYoshis
  Bulma: DAD!!
  Dr. Briefs: I was gonna say Namekians!
  * Beat*
  Bulma: No you weren't-
  Dr. Briefs: No I wasn't.
The second stinger, available only at teamfourstar.com:
Mecha Freeza: What happened to Namek? What happened to the Dragon Balls?
King Cold: It seems, my little princess, in your anger, you destroyed them both.
Mecha Freeza: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- Made better by King Cold's ultra-campy effeminate voice.
Bulma asking Vegeta if he wants to stay at her place.
Vegeta: Only if it's got a pool!
Bulma and Yamcha's telepathic spat:
Bulma: Hey, hold on a moment. My ex is calling me.
Yamcha: Hey, girl. It's good to- Wait. Ex? What's that about?
Bulma: Yeah... I'm breaking up with you.
Yamcha: What!? But why!?
Bulma: You haven't called me in months.
Yamcha: I HAVE BEEN DEAD!
Bulma: Oh, well that's not stopping you now, is it?
Yamcha: Do NOT do this right now!
Bulma: Hey, you wanna know how this is ending? Hey, Vegeta! Wanna come live with me?
Vegeta: Only if it's got a pool.
Yamcha: HE'S THE REASON I'M DEAD!!!!!
Bulma: Well, then I guess he's just more of a man than you, isn't he?
Yamcha: Oh, you DIRTY BITCH!!
- As things degrade, King Kai ends it by having Tien shut Yamcha up, which he does by breaking Yamcha's leg... as in, the one he didn't break in the original series.
  King Kai: Okay, listen: Gohan's fatherless, and the Namekians are homeless. So... that's a thing. Have fun delivering the message, I have to go cast up Yamcha's leg.
  Yamcha: WHY?!?
- And when Yamcha's wished back, he falls into a pond.
  Yamcha: Water in my cast! I'm gonna get gangrene!
Bulma pointing out that perhaps summoning Porunga in the middle of a major city is a bad idea. Cue...
Random Citizens: (Screaming in terror) GOJIRA!!!!
- Which then turns into the citizens just casually walking by while saying "Gojira" in mild interest.
Dende asking if Porunga can grant them six wishes to save time.
Dende: Cause, we're just gonna bring you back in four months and do this crap again, plus we're just bringing some schmucks back to life.
Porunga: Well, it is unconventional, but considering the ease of these wishes, I will accommodate.
Dende: And a new planet.
Porunga: Now that is just a dick move!
Dende: Well, let's get the hard one out of the way. Build the Namekians a new Namek!
Porunga: (Beat) Donezo!
Dende: Sweet!
Also, Vegeta leaving Earth in the CapsuleCorp spaceship, which the narrator describes as "doing what he does best."
Vegeta: Sayonara, bitches!
Dr. Briefs: Sonuvabitch took my scotch!
Bulma: Call me!
The Brick Joke about how every place on Namek looks exactly the same comes back in all its glory when Goku is trying to escape the explosion:
Goku: (thinking) Where am I? Where's my ship? Everything looked the same before, and now it’s all the same, but on fire!
- Also a Call-Back to how Vegeta was going to turn the surrounding area into a burning wasteland if Gohan didn't show himself back before his rage broke in Episode 18.
Freeza asking Goku for help.
Freeza: As one neighbor to another, can you spare a cup of energy?
Goku: (contemplating) Well...
King Kai: (telepathically) NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Tien: (referring to King Kai not telling them about what's happening) I'm not even asking anymore.
- And then Goku doing it anyway.
Tien forcing King Kai to just narrate instead of doing dramatic gasps so someone else will ask a question. King Kai eventually just blurts it out when he can't get them to respond.
Tien: Was that so hard?
The Stinger, involving Nappa returning to life, since everyone who was killed by Freeza and his men were wished back and Vegeta was working for Freeza when he killed Nappa. Also, Nappa becomes a Hollywood producer and is currently making an autobiographical film called Citizen Nappa. With Mark Satan.
Nappa: Need to work on the first name, thinking Hercule...
- Close listeners will note the ringtone of Nappa calling Vegeta is that of Ghostbusters.
- Also, the subversion to season 1's ending.
  Vegeta: GOD... damn it... Nappa.

Funny / Dragon Ball Z Abridged: Namek/Freeza Saga

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