Regret Eating Me

"I hope I give ya the shits, you fucking wimp!"

— Dog Soldiers

The Zombie Apocalypse has you in a corner. The Wolf Man is starving and you're the closest food source. You're dinner.

There's only one thing you can do...

"I hope you choke on my intestines, asshole(s)!"

A specific Defiant to the End form of "Facing the Bullets" One-Liner, this is when someone who is about to be devoured makes a comment that amounts to demanding that his killers not enjoy their meal. Compare with Eat Me, where the person to be eaten intends to take more direct action to ensure they don't get much joy out of the feast. Compare also the closely related Death by Gluttony, which may occur in the second course after Regret Eating Me.

Not to be confused with Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth (where the enemy actually does regret eating them) — although that's a common way of playing this trope for laughs. Also, don't confuse this with You Won't Like How I Taste. While they sound similar, there's a big difference. In this trope, the invoker has pretty much come to terms with the idea of getting eaten by their foe. They're just spitefully hoping that their hungry hunter doesn't enjoy their meal. You Won't Like How I Taste, on the other hand, is actually an attempt to convince their attacker not to eat them at all.

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• In Fullmetal Alchemist, the renegade homunculus Greed, who is about to be boiled down to his Philosopher's Stone and consumed by Father, says he hopes that the meal gives Father diarrhea.
  • The second Greed takes the words of the first Greed to heart. After Father consumes him, he uses his Ultimate Shield in a reversal manner to turn Father's body into the weakest form of charcoal, allowing Edward to strike the finishing blow
• Medicine Melancholy, a poison doll youkai, was once captured by a man-eating plant in the Forest of Magic in the H-doujinshi Ningyou Kakumei. While the way she cried it out was desperate, she was warning the plant that she was poisonous.
• In a YuYu Hakusho flashback taking place centuries before the present story, the demon Raizen happened upon a lone human woman whom he intended to devour. She revealed herself to be a "shaman cannibal", one who ate the flesh of those who died from disease, allowing her body to produce the antibodies to fight them. She offered to let him devour her, as her flesh was so ripe with disease even a demon would die. Impressed, he decides not to eat her and instead they had sex; she would give birth to a child who would become one of Yusuke's ancestors.
• This is how the Shikon no Tama from Inuyasha was created. A miko named Midoriko was literally in the jaws of a very powerful youkai, and then she went the Taking You with Me way; the Jewel was found near her lifeless body.
• In Ushio and Tora, the titular protagonists are able to kill the immense Ayakashi from the inside after being swallowed whole to be digested. During the final battle, Hyou sacrifices his crystal eye and right arm to Guren, who devours them whole. Only then, a dying Hyo reveals that the eye is overcharged with spiritual energy and his own arms are filled with paper talismans he can detonate from a distance, which he promptly use to destroy the rogue Azafuse from the inside out.

Comic Books

• Marvel Zombies, Magneto: "I hope you choke on me!"
• The Transformers have attempted to give both Unicron and The Swarm "The worst case of indigestion they've ever had," twice apiece. It's one of longtime Transformers scribe Simon Furman's famous "Furmanisms".
• In The Walking Dead, Dale is captured by the Hunters, a group of survivors who have resorted to cannibalism after running out of food, and has his remaining leg cut off (his other leg had been amputated several months earlier to save him from a zombie bite). When he wakes up and finds the Hunters eating his leg, Dale just laughs hysterically... because he'd been bitten again just hours before while the main characters were fleeing a zombie herd, and the whole reason he'd wandered off from the group was to die alone, meaning that the cannibals were just gorging themselves on infected flesh. It's never revealed if his infection would spread that way, as the meat had been cooked, zombie bites are simply lethally septic rather than spreading a specific disease (because everyone turns when they die), and Rick and the others track them down and brutally kill them all before any of them could get sick.
  Dale: You're eating tainted meat!! *the cannibals begin spitting and gagging* TAINTED MEAT! TAINTED MEAT!!

Comic Strips

• In the comic Hsu and Chan, when the title characters are cornered by man-eating bears, Hsu stuffs himself with Zingers, saying, "These always make me sick as a dog. This'll teach 'em to eat me!"

Films — Live-Action

• The most famous moment in Day of the Dead (1985) comes when, after the zombies pull the General Ripper in half and begin eating his innards, he yells, "Choke on 'em!"
• How Tasty Was My Little Frenchman. The eponymous Frenchman (who is mistaken for Portuguese by the tribe which eats him) is supposed to ceremonially fight back but, per The other wiki's article:
  In the last seconds of his life the Frenchman refuses to play along with the ceremonial script that the Tupinambas expect him to follow and instead angrily (and loudly) tells the Tupinambas that his death will not revitalize them (as his death and the subsequent cannibal feast is intended to do) but rather will doom them all to extermination.
  The movie ends with a postscript that reveals that the Tupinambas were exterminated within a relatively short period of time after the year the movie is set.
• The Oxploitation film Turkey Shoot. While Hunting the Most Dangerous Game, Alph bites off the prison trustee's little toe and eats it, causing him to sob, "I hope you fucking choke you oaf!"
• Scooby-Doo: Monsters Unleashed features a semi-pleading variant when the Cotton Candy Glob realizes the danger of cornering Shaggy and Scooby. After they grin in delight and tackle him just offscreen as cotton candy shreds go flying:
  "NOOO! I'll give you cavities!"
• Donkey makes a statement about being made dinner in Shrek Forever After. "I go down smooth, but I come out fighting!
• Dog Soldiers: After a brave but futile fistfight with a werewolf, Spoon is defeated and shouts, "I hope I give ya the shits, you fucking wimp!"

Literature

• Robin Jarvis' Deptford Mice: in The Dark Portal, Audrey tells Jupiter to "Choke on my bones!"
• Played with in The Enormous Crocodile by Roald Dahl. When the titular crocodile tells Muggle-Wump the monkey about his plans to eat a child, clothes and all, Muggle-Wump retorts, "I hope the buttons and buckles all stick in your throat and choke you to death!" Thankfully, due to his actions and those of the other animals as well, this never happens.
• There's a short story called A Good Man, in which the title character's threat comes true and the cannibals who eat him all vomit. The moral of the story? You can't keep a good man down.
  • ...Ha ha.
• "If Brahma has me burnt, I will spit into the flames. If he has me strangled, I will attempt to bite the executioner's hand. If my throat is cut, may my blood rust the blade that does it." — Sam, Lord of Light
• The Terror. Dr Goodsir takes a fatal overdose rather than be forced to participate in cannibalism by the mutineers, but leaves a note on his chest saying he took poison and anyone who eats his body will die. No-one dares do so.

Live-Action TV

• In The Sarah Jane Adventures, Big Bad Mrs. Wormwood exclaims to the Bane that's come to kill her, "At least I'll have the satisfaction of giving you food poisoning!"
• In the finale of Star Trek: Voyager, the future version of Kathryn Janeway is assimilated by the Borg queen. However, having anticipated this, she had injected herself with a virus capable of severely damaging the Borg. As the queen started showing symptoms, future Janeway quipped, "Must have been something you assimilated."
• Invoked by Walter Bishop from Fringe, when he takes poison, trying to kill dangerous monster.
• When a vampire queen reveals to Helen Magnus on Sanctuary that she intends to use her as her "personal canteen," Helen spits back, "I hope you choke on it."
• In the 1985 version of King Solomon's Mines, Quatermain and Jessie are Captured by Cannibals and thrown into a huge cooking pot; Jessie yells that "I hope they choke on us!" (Of course, such a threat pointless, seeing as the natives don't understand English.)
• As a reference to Day of the Dead (1985), Patrick does this in Dead Set. After being torn in half, he yells "Choke on em!", then reaches down, grabs his own intestine, and yells "Eat up! It's full of shit!" at the zombies.
• Becomes more than an idle threat in the first season finale of The Terror when Dr. Goodsir rubs poison all over his skin and then slits his wrists, knowing that he's probably going to be eaten by his mutinous crewmates anyway. It ends up working better than intended, as they end up being devoured by the Tuunbaq, eventually weakening it enough for Crozier to finish the beast off.
  • A more humorous example occurs earlier on when Mr. Blanky offers to lure the Creature away from the rest of the sledge party, an action he knows will lead to his death by it. Being Defiant to the End, he requests the men give him about a dozen forks and a rope with which to tie them around his body, for the chance that a fork lodges in its throat as it eats him.
• One question on Family Feud was "What might you say to a cannibal to stop them from eating you?". One of the answers was "I have an STD".
• Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities : "The Autopsy" features an elderly coroner who discovers that a rash of strange deaths and disappearances were the work of an alien Puppeteer Parasite who not only pulls Grand Theft Me on its victims, but also leaves their consciousness intact and helpless just for its own sadistic pleasure. Due to the parasite being almost helpless while switching hosts it requires the help of its current body to move to the next, and the coroner is able to use this brief window to blind, deafen, and mortally wound himself, trapping the parasite inside his body and making it nearly impossible for it to steal another one.

Tabletop Games

• In Princess: The Hopeful, the Stormites have this view of Leviathans.
  Stormite: I'm not running, even from a fucking god! I hope I give you fucking indigestion!
• Warhammer Fantasy: The Goblin warlord Grom the Paunch once ate Troll flesh. Unfortunately for him, it started regenerating while in his stomach, granting him eternal indigestion, abominable flatulence, and a Healing Factor.

Video Games

• Shin Megami Tensei:
  • In Digital Devil Saga 2, a prisoner in a Human Resources prison/factory says "Devour me and I will become more powerful than your digestive system can imagine."
  • In Shin Megami Tensei IV, Xi Wangmu devours several members of the Ring of Gaea, who proceed to keep fighting from her insides, weakening her to the point her previous impregnable defense vanishes and she starts taking damage, ultimately dying.
• The Legend of Zelda:
  • In The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, a trapped Goron who would be fed to the boss Volvagia says something like this.
  • In The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Chuchus (a random blob of evil jelly) leave behind jelly when defeated which you can drink for various effects. Purple jelly randomly alters your health meter, more often than not by bringing you down in hearts.
• Gil, a survivor in the video game Dead Rising, who has chosen to cope with the Zombie Apocalypse by getting hopelessly drunk - "Well I hope they can hold their liquor, because I'm soaking in it!"
• Tales of Vesperia: As he passes out after the party faces a powerful monster, Yuri Lowell says "I hope...you choke...on my bones."
• Dawn of War 2:
  • Used by Assault Marines fighting Tyranids: "You will find me a sour meal, alien!"
  • The other Marines joke that if Avitus was eaten by the Tyranids, they'd quickly spit him out.
  • On reaching the final boss of Retribution, Azariah Kyras, he has a few choice insults for whichever faction you're playing as. Except the Tyranids, who don't really get insults, so he makes do with "You will choke on me, Great Devourer!" Amusingly, his death in this case involves getting a gigantic Tyranid capillary rammed into his throat until it decapitates him.
• In Space Quest 2, if Roger Wilco gets eaten by the gigantic root monster on Labion, the game first taunts the player and then offers as consolation the fact that Wilco gave the thing horrible indigestion during the night and made it unpopular among its buddies.
  • In the fan-made remake, if you have the unstable ordinance in your pocket when the root monster eats you, it explodes immediately afterwards in a much more dramatic illustration of this trope.
• God of War III: Near the end of the fight with him, Cronos attempts to finish Kratos off by eating him whole. Kratos just cuts his way out of Cronos' gut with the Blade of Olympus. Ironically, before he swallowed him, Cronos quipped to Kratos that "Eating you will be more unpleasant for me!"; he had no idea how right he was.
• State of Decay: If the zombies devour you, and your character has an explosive on his person... BOOM.
• Shorty in Fallout 3 is shouting things like this when Super Mutants have him tied up in a basement kitchen. Fortunately, the player can save him from this fate. Also in Mothership Zeta is an abductee recording, who's convinced that the aliens are going to eat him and screaming that he hopes they choke (unless they're the kind of aliens who just want to put him in some weird alien zoo. That might be okay.)
• The Elder Scrolls Online has a quest involving a tribe of people who took this trope much further than mere verbal defiance: they ingested slow-acting lethal poison before their hopeless Last Stand against a faction of cannibals, thus ensuring that their killers would be the ones to suffer its effects.

Webcomics

• When Charby wastes nearly all his energy on a teleport that only gets him about 20 feet away from a ravenous Munchie in Charby the Vampirate:
  Charby: I hoPe I GiVe yoU inDiGestioOn yOu stUpid floaTy beaR!
• Kill Six Billion Demons: On her last legs and facing down a being known (amongst others) as "the God-Eater" who wants her Magus Key, Mottom uses the line figuratively in reference to the power contained in the Key.
  I hope you choke on it, you sad, broken little peasant.

Web Original

• From Homestar Runner:
  Saddy Dumpington: "Hey, little girl! I just saw a baby chick choke on a worm! They both died! Isn't that great?"
• Dragon Ball Z Abridged: When Super Kami Guru reveals that he was responsible for the drought that plagued Namek, not the Albino Namekians, the remaining Namekians devour him in revenge. As he's being violently consumed, he gurgles "Choke on them! Choke on them!"

Western Animation

• Grandpa Simpson in one of the Halloween episodes of The Simpsons: "I'm gonna give your liver such a punchin'!"
  • In an episode retelling Bible stories, Bart (as King David) turns one of these into a Pre-Mortem One-Liner as he battles Goliath Jr.:
    Bart/David: Hope I don't give you...heartburn! (throws an oil lamp into Goliath's open mouth)
• Said to a Planet Eater in Shadow Raiders. "Taste this world... and choke on it!
  • And the Beast Planet reply, "it's a bit spicy..."
    • Not so much a Zombie version as it is planetary version, but who can forget The Vizier's final lines from Shadow Raiders:
      "And you, eater of worlds, may you taste our righteous fire... and CHOKE ON IT!! For my Planet's sake, I spit my LAST BREATH AT THEE!!!"
• Justice League has an... inversion? Except no one is threatening to eat anyone? Maybe it makes sense in Thanagarian as something other than a one-liner setup for Flash.^note It's actually a subtle case of Shown Their Work, as some birds of prey (like eagles) eat bones for calcium.
  Kraagor: You think I'd tell you anything? I'd sooner choke on your bones.
  Flash: Okay by me. (makes a fist) Start with these.
• In Time Squad, while Tuddrussel was being carried off by a giant fly monster, a medieval European king shouts out at him, suggesting,"When it swallows you, try to give it indigestion!"
• Hercules: The Animated Series:
  • The threat is successful in stopping Typhon from eating an entire building of people. The people were lawyers and would give Typhon gas.
  • Prometheus says this to the eagle that constantly consumes his liver.
  Prometheus: I hope you get indigestion, you glorified vulture!
• King Faraday in Justice League: The New Frontier combines this trope with Taking You with Me when a T-Rex eats him and he brings a couple of active grenades with him.
• Stroker and Hoop - When Stroker is captured by a deranged cult of cannibals and cooked in a giant pot of soup, his (not) last words are "I hope you choke on my assbone."
• At one Point on Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island, a monster eats Butchy. Afterwards, he says, "Good luck trying to eat me! Crabapples cause indigestion!" He is then vomited back up.
• Played in a horrifically disgusting way in Inhumanoids: One episode ended with a particular eldritch horror that hatched from an egg and then grew by eating the eggs containing his unhatched siblings. And even eating some of his hatched siblings. When fully grown in the next episode, he had a see-thru stomach. He swallowed an Earth Corps guy, who escaped by drilling a hole in the stomach wall and oozing out along with all the other bile.
• Merrie Melodies: In the short Jungle Jitters, a Traveling Salesman encounters a band of African cannibals, who try to cook him alive before their Queen decides she wants to marry him. Repulsed by her appearance, the salesman jumps back into the boiling pot, saying "I hope they all get indigestion."
  • In "The Lion's Busy," a lion is trying to keep himself from his pending life expectancy, which Beaky Buzzard is hungrily anticipating. He hides out in a cave for years and years until he's old and weak. He surrenders to Beaky with the snark "Here's hoping ye choke on me!" (Similarly as old, Beaky is now no longer able to chew anything solid, just marshmallows.)
• On one episode of Dungeons & Dragons (1983),when Eric and Uni are caught by Demodragon, Eric actually remains Defiant to the End.
  Eric: I hope we at least give him a stomach ache!
• In Shrek Forever After, when alternate-world Donkey gets captured by the resistance ogres and is about to be sent to the kitchen, he threatens that he "goes down smooth, but comes out fighting."

Real Life

• One major evolutionary strategy is to make yourself poisonous, so you kill anything that tries to eat you. You're still dead, but your family won't be hunted by them, and if you're brightly colored to show off how poisonous you are, things won't eat you out of fear of dying. Poisonous tree frogs, for example, work on this principle.
• And then you have the non-poisonous animals that mimic the appearance of poisonous ones to trick predators into not eating them. This is called Batesian mimicry.
• This literally happens when a predator eats prey whose behavior has been altered by a parasite, like when birds rip off the eyestalks of "zombie snails," thinking that the eyestalks are tasty insect larvae, only to get infected with the trematode flatworm, Leucochloridium variae.
• Certain plants evolved spiciness as a defense mechanism to keep herbivores from eating them. Unfortunately for them, this heat was insufficient in keeping humans at bay, as they discovered that spices had a sufficiently pleasant taste in small amounts and would make for a good addition to some meals they're about to make.
  • On the other hand, it also ensued that while individual plants would still be eaten, the very humans doing the eating would go out of their way to assist the plant's reproduction via farming it, ultimately making the spiciness pay off after all for the plant species as a whole.

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