Funny / Doom³

• After you get your PDA from the receptionist in Mars City, stick around and read the report he's typing on his computer. He'll eventually add a supplemental section complaining about your rudeness and how you were reading everything he typed, and finishing with "Stop it."
• The explanation of why there are chainsaws on Mars: They got mixed up in an order for jackhammers.
• Late in the game◊, you can come across a terminal covered in blood. The terminal details how to perform a sacrifice to the forces of Hell written like cookbook instructions, complete with tongue-in-cheek informality.
  Virgin blood is best
  Goat blood must be no older than 3 days
  Entrails must be removed and apportioned either before death, or no later than 30min
  Candles must be sorted by tallest in back to shortest in front - never the other way around!
  Most important - pentagrams must be drawn from the center to the outside and left to right.
• Finding PDAs with entries complaining about spam mail, or planning parties is pretty funny if just for the contrast of them. That is, apart from the ever-expanding hints of creeping hell, the employees are having typical every-day problems with management.
• One of the PDAs contains an email from an anonymous someone (who could be an ancient Martian soul or a UAC scientist for all we know) who has caught onto the Big Bad's impending betrayal, and hopes to warn the Soul Cube research team that the Big Bad is getting ready to steal it and corrupt all the UAC's work. One problem: the Big Bad is screening all the emails, and is deleting our anonymous friend's warnings. How does this mole hope to get his message across in his final attempt? By disguising it as yet another spam email!
• Another PDA has a manager named Mark Lamia complain about how stupid his last five assistants are. The crowning moment of their stupidity came when Mark set the code "123" for all supply lockers in the third sector of Alpha Labs, and yet the workers still forgot it somehow.
• The Ludicrous Gibs are nothing to laugh at... unless you're doing it to a hopeless scientist who somehow got himself trapped in a chamber which seems to be designed specifically to melt the flesh off of anything that gets caught inside. You can either be nice and let the poor scientist out or...you can activate the chamber. The scientist will scream as a giant contraption comes down on him, then...splorch.
  • You can also opt to activate the device and cause him to scream in utter terror - and then deactivate it at the last second. His "thank you" for sparing him doesn't change either way, but its bemused and annoyed tone only further compliments your potential to be a douche.
  • You can kill off the other personnel before any of the actual demonic things have begun, at least as soon as you get the flashlight. In one case you can come across a pair of technicians trying to repair some part of the station, one down a thin tunnel while the other stands outside the entrance to help him. You can kill the one standing outside, and the one in the tunnel will ask what happened, never becoming aware that you just randomly gibbed his colleague. Even better is the way that just bonking people twice in the head with a flashlight somehow completely and instantly sears away all their flesh and organs.
• When researching the demons, the UAC tries really hard to find logical explanations for their various supernatural powers and disprove that they are actually demons. Unfortunately for them, so many of the unusual abilities the demons exhibit always results in falling back on “they really are diabolical spirits”. The closest the scientists get is managing to prove that the fireballs imps throw are not results of black magic, but in fact a special flammable sweat the imp emits sets aflame... But then the scientists realize they can’t figure out how the imp is able to combust its sweat.
• In Resurrection of Evil, you find Sergeant Kelly's office post-mortem, where he not only has his fully-operational personal Sawed-Off Shotgun on a wall display, but also the stuffed head of a bear he killed on Earth. And a freakin' arcade cabinet dedicated to him about shooting down bears hoisted by balloons in the air. This is in the middle of another demonic invasion with corpses in the office and blood everywhere outside it. It's also been half a year since the last invasion, making you wonder why the UAC haven't gotten rid of the bear head, while emails imply the local co-workers have been stealing his gun to shoot shit in secret.
• In The Lost Mission there is a PDA which belongs to the construction supervisor named Travis Folsom. His audio log consists of him praising the Mixom construction seals by considering them cheaper than previously used Moxim seals. Despite the architect's criticism that these seals are inferior and thus can cause air leaks or even glass blowouts, Travis still manages to get them approved and inserted so the architect doesn't even suspect a thing. At the end of the log, Travis mentions that he considers the new glass panels so good he would try the rocket launcher on them anytime soon. The funniest part comes shortly afterwards. The protagonist goes down the small platform, and then the Revenant spawns on the upper floor and fires a rocket at the panels, shattering them and letting the oxygen flow out.

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