Funny / Dave the Barbarian

• When facing off with Chuckles, the Silly Piggy, Faffy... flies into his mouth.
  Chuckles: Pathetic dragon! I shall defeat you with ease, and- (Faffy flies in his mouth) Wow. That was even more ease than I thought it'd be... with.
• "Something, Something, Something, Something. I Love Neddy Show."
• "Goodnight, and drive safely."
• Dave's walk minstrel.
  • Dave's enchanted toothbrush.
• In "Beef", Candy goes to a gym to buff up, only to find that just about everything in there is essentially a deathtrap: a weight-lifting bench where the rock is big enough to crush her, a wild boar trying to tear her legs off during leg extensions, and a cage where you have to survive being killed by abominable snowmen. Wisely, she decides not to bother and hits up Oswidge instead.
  Fang: Candy's decided to go for the magic muscles. Some nonsense about not wanting to die.
  • In order to return the Dumb Muscle Candy back to normal, the heroes must seek help from the Master of Evolution, going on a long and perilous journey to him... only to find that he lives right next door to them.
    Fang: Huh. You'd think we would have noticed that place there before.
• This exchange:
  Lula: Argy! It's me!
  Argon: Uhhh...
  Lula: I know it's been a long time, but true loves never forget.
  Argon: Of course not! You were that one... sword!
• Laying waste.
• One episode has Dave construct a homemade megaphone "Using only some string, a squirrel, and a megaphone". The episode ends with a mock behind the scenes segment where Dave says to the audience:
  Dave: I'm sure many of you are wondering why I tied a squirrel to a megaphone.
  Dramatic Pause
  Dave: Well, goodbye!
• Everything involving Twinkle the Marvel Horse.
  Twinkle: I had that dream again. The one, where I do terrible things to penguins with a croquet mallet.
• Two words: "VALIM VALEEEEEEE!"
• "BUGS! THEY'RE IN MY HAIR!"
  • "THEY'RE IN MY PANTS!"
• In the Villain Team-Up episode, the heroes manage to turn them against each other by dressing up as them and insulting the real deals. Props go to Oswidge pretending to be Malsquando.
  Oswidge as Malsquando: Don't speak to me, you cute little ham roll!
  Chuckles: Cute? YOU WILL PAY!!!
  • Also...
  Candy as Quozmir: Um, you smell.
  Malsquando: Good or bad?
  Candy as Quozmir: Bad.
  Malsquando: I shall destroy you!
• Dave's utter confusion and frustration over essentially just passing around a piece of paper from one person to the next in order to settle a chain of debts. Oswidge then explains everything in song. While everyone stands around wearing some of the most hilarious WTF expressions in the history of animation, for bonus points.
  Steve the Egg, Steve the Egg
  How'd he wear pants without no legs?
  Steve the Egg, Steve the Egg
  He woke up next to sausages!
• The Non Sequitur Cold Open that is Pickle Land.
  Narrator: It is a beautiful day in Pickle Land, the flowers singing their dinky waffle song and...HOLD IT! Oh, who wrote this??
  (cut to Faffy with a typewriter)
  Narrator: FAFFY! Alright, let's try this again.
• "Ned Frischman, Man of Tomorrow":
  • Ned's zipper gets the power to let him travel through time after it's hit with every super-power origin cliche in the book: struck by a comet, zapped by an experimental laser, doused with mysterious chemicals, struck by the power of the Norse gods, bitten by a radioactive grasshopper, and "taught the arcane ability of how to cloud men's minds by an inscrutable monk".
    Ned: Wow, that hardly ever happens!
  • Before this, Ned had one goal in life - being awarded the Employee Of the Month Award of the trouser factory he worked at. It's hard to say what's more pathetic; that his one goal in life was that small, or that he still couldn't reach it.
  • After Ned travels through time, it cuts to Udrogoth, where Dave and his family are literally just standing around, waiting for their story to begin.
  • Ned manages to conquer Udrogoth by introducing them to the futuristic marvels of...handheld video games! Everyone quickly gets addicted to them, allowing Ned to force them into obedience since he's the only source of replacement batteries. It gets to the point that the only people left to defeat him are Lula, Faffy and Twinkles, since they're the only characters with no thumbs (or hands) to play the games with.
  • The Tyrannosaurus rex summoned by Ned destroying all of his monuments... and doing a hole-in-one at his mini-golf course.
  • After being sent back to his own time, Ned swears revenge... then excitedly waits to see who the next Employee of The Month will be at the factory. It turns out to be the T. Rex who foiled in the past.
• "Here's a fork, so you can EAT YOUR WORDS!!!"
• Chuckles' Oh, Crap! moment in "A Pig's Story":
  Chuckles: Aha! Then you might NOT be the hero of this story! I still have a chance to destroy you!
  Space Narrator: Welcome to the heroic exploits of DAAVE THE SPACE BARBARIAN!
  Chuckles: Err. Slight chance?
  Space Narrator: Today's episode: Chuckles gets beat like a cheap drum.
  Chuckles: I'm doomed.
• The ending to the first episode:
  Narrator: And so our heroes defeat the muffin in an exciting battle, which we can't show you because it would be much too expensive for a cheap show like this. Thereafter, the monster's muffin top provides bouncy fun for all the children. Except little Billy Menken, who isn't allowed on it because he's been bad.
• Strom the Slayer walks in on Dave reading a book, which has previously been set on fire by Faffy and now has smoke coming off of it.
  Strom: Um, your book is smoking.
  Dave: (chuckles) Yes, I know, it's a terrible habit but I just can't get it to stop.
• "Thank you, flying potato."
• During a competition, Irmaplotz messes with Dave's head with the tactic of... Whispering something to a friend while they both look at Dave, proceeded by giggling. Dave being a wimpy teenaged boy, it works, and he's instantly reduced to, as the narrator puts it, an "insecure pile of teenage hormones".
• This dialogue in "The Lost Race of Reeber":
  Candy: (to her family) Hey! I said we're helping these poor dumb jerks and we're gonna!
  Hamwise: Ahem!
  [We pan to see Hamwise and his wife Basanta standing right behind Candy.]
  Basanta: We can hear you.
  [Candy smiles feverishly]
  • Followed by:
    Dave: Candy? I take back what I said about you being selfish. Okay? Now let's go home.
    Candy: No way, Big-Ears! Soon as we get home, you'll be all "See, you are selfish! Neener-neener-neener!"
    Dave: Big ears?
    
    Dave: Are my ears big?
    Lula: Ears? I thought they were dinner plates.
• In "The Cow Says Moon", Dave gets turned into a werecow after being bitten by one, then he's turned into a werecat after being bitten by a cat. The family then has Oswidge bite Dave in order to turn him back into a human. He does turn back into a human... except as Oswidge.
  Oswidge!Dave: Jinkies. I must raid the fridge, eat an entire ham, and perform magic incorrectly. (runs off)
  Oswidge: (unamused) I can't help but feel that I've been insulted.
• In "Bad Food", Dave quits being a barbarian due to an ingrown toenail and decides become a chef, so the family gets rid of his cookbook by having Oswidge send it millions of years back into the past. When Candy questions that will it change the past and alter the present, Oswidge ridicules the notion that history will change from dinosaurs learning how to cook. He then gets pizza delivered to him... by a T. rex.
• In "King For A Day Or Two", Chuckles sent a note ahead telling the main characters he's going to invade Udrogoth in the next few days. He also sent a fruitcake.
  Dave: He sent a fruitcake!? The fiend!!
  • Dave's first edict for the kingdom is the institution of casual Fridays, which turns out to be very popular. Unfortunately, his next few laws are less well received. First, every other Saturday is Udrogoth Spirit Day, when everyone has to wear the official national colors; red, a slightly darker red, and a third red that's more of a maroon. Second, due to his cat allergies, Dave decrees that all cats must be shaved. When this understandably causes discontent, Dave gets angry over his subjects "ungratefulness" and tries to win them back with a mandatory performance of his musical Oh, Pastry!, the story of one man's love of baked goods. Also, when he said mandatory, he also meant the castle guards, meaning that Chuckles is able to just walk into the throne room and take over, since the magic throne empowers anyone who sits on it.
• In "Mecha-Dave", Dave, Fang and Oswidge have to travel to the Cliffs of Fabulous Shopping to find a special gear Dave needs for a clockwork model. While wandering the wilderness, they encounter a hermit and asks him for directions. He tells them they have to undergo a long and dangerous journey from which no one has ever returned... or they "can just take the shuttle". Cut to a perfectly safe horse and wagon a few feet away.
  Dave: Uh, thanks... *the gang piles onto the wagon, watching the old man laugh to himself like a crazy person*
  • While travelling to the Cliffs, the shuttle makes stops in the towns on the way, only for the townspeople to brutally attack Dave, claiming that he attacked the town the previous night. While Oswidge's crystal ball reveals this to be true, Dave is horrified and has no memory of doing anything like that.
  Fang: Maybe he's got a ghost inside of him? Let's beat him until it comes out!
  Oswidge: On the other hand, Dave might simply be deranged! In which case I suggest we imprison him in a dungeon for countless days until he snaps out of it!
  Dave: I'm not liking my options here...
  • Dave getting beaten to a pulp at every stop the shuttle makes.
  • Dave getting replaced by Mecha-Dave, a clockwork doppleganger created by Chuckles, who's the one actually doing all the stuff Dave was getting blamed for. While it looks exactly like the real Dave, he's much braver and more confident. Fang is the only one who notices anything different about him, but decides she prefers it.

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