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Funny / Cr1TiKaL

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  • When he explains how the Star Wars prequels were made:
    Star Wars used to be one of the most beloved franchises of all of entertainment, but that all changed when the twisted mind of George Lucas was left unsupervised and unchecked by a medical professional. He was able to army crawl himself away from Arkham Asylum and onto a chair in front of a pen and paper and write the prequels.
  • His video on Invisible Art features him reading from the manifesto of the Museum of Invisible Art. Halfway through reading the second section, he audibly struggles not to burst into laughter at how absolutely ridiculous and pretentious the 'poetry' is.
  • Launches a driveable outhouse in the air in Need For Speed II: "Just making sure the moon has a quality shitter."
    • The entirety of the video is just him driving the secret cheat code cars and generally trying to wreck the other racers. It doesn't exactly work, but it's hilarious.
    • "I'm not racing as just any old outhouse. I am Turbo Shitter!"
    • "Too much speed, we're flying!" (proceeds to fly off the map) "Turbo Shitter! Nooooo!"
    • His first line after the opening: "My race car this afternoon is just a standard dinosaur. Should be a tooth and nail battle for first place."
  • Hears a baby cry in Shutter: "Somebody get that baby a stock portfolio."
  • During a Cry of Fear video, he reaches the first jump scare that makes other players jump or shout in fright. His response? "Excuse me sir, you're interfering with my photography, please move over."
  • Most people would immediately shriek or freak out at the sight of the Slender Man from Slender. What he did upon seeing him for the first time? He tried to arrest him for trespassing.
    • He called Slender Man a "sack of juiced nipples" and "Spaghetti Arms."
    • Trying to evade Slender Man by running in a zigzag the way you do with alligators.
    • Similarly in SCP – Containment Breach, he tried to arm wrestle SCP-173 only to accidentally walk past its field of vision and got his neck snapped. Later he tried to fight it for real only to get his ass handed to him again.
  • Watching the intro cutscene to Pepsiman and not understanding the dialogue: "And since I can't understand what he's telling me, I may as well be talking to a cow's udder."
    • "Parkour!" (gets hit by a car) "Aw, shit."
    • And then he gets hit again: "It is Pepsiman's anger that will drive him to succeed - Fuck you, car."
    • When he completes the first level, he tries to guess the plot of the game: "So using what I know about Isaac Newton, and cross-referencing that information with the mathematical formulas constructed by Euclid, I can accurately deduce that Pepsiman is hand-delivering these large quantities of Pepsi over to a tribal group of aliens. The plot thickens."
      • He keeps going after the second level: "He just shot a shit waterfall at the crowd, and they're cheering for him. ...Wait a minute, that just opened up new plot elements... That's it! The shit waterfall is a symbol for anal cavity! That-that's it right there! Pepsiman is delivering the Pepsi, to the rectums of the aliens! Shit, that truck just hit him, the government is trying to assassinate him for what he's trying to do! So Pepsiman is now being framed for high treason when all he's trying to do is quench the thirst of the aliens' dehydrated assholes. Such a noble act of heroism, I, for one, will not stand by and let shit depart from my ass cheeks while Pepsiman needs our help - I, have, been, flattened."
    • The Running Gag with the woman crossing the street.
    "Bitch, please, you had to know the wiener warrior known as Pepsiman was coming through! Stay on the sidewalk until you're ready for the big leagues."
    • "It's really quite peculiar: Pepsiman in essence is Pepsi, but he's being hunted by Pepsi - (giant can crushes him) - and I'm getting my ass kicked by Pepsi."
  • He's well known for being fearless, but the only thing that's scared him is catching a leaf out of his peripheral vision. That he thought was a Ninja Turtle. See it here.
  • In his playthrough of The Theater, what was his reaction to meeting the Swirly Faced Man in all his screechy wonder?
    "Alright, fine, you win, I'll enjoy the movie! Just go fuck yourself and take your spaghetti-face with you!"
  • His pitching techniques in 98 Koshien. It's way too funny to give away.
  • Super Mario Br0s 3.
    "This is making me wanna purchase a pair of bowling shoes and then cut my feet off so I can't use the shoes properly."
    • Just everything he says about the trees.
  • Try watching his dubs of Anthony Sullivan's infomercials with a straight face.
  • In The Shit Mystery, he gives a scientific explanation of how defecation works, with lots of technical terms... while his attempt at 3D animation plays in the background. It looks like it was made in 5 minutes in Blender.
  • In his Zoo Tycoon video, he made this acronym as a helicopter took one of his gazelles away: "November. India. Papa. Papa. Lima. Echo. Sierra."
    • He changed the name of his zoo from "Grasslands Zoo" to "Fisting Festival" in order to makes customers feel welcome.
    • He keeps ignoring (or maybe not even noticing) the alerts telling him that the peafowls are drowning or that animals are starving.
    • "Nothing says quality zookeeping like a good old-fashioned peafowl mauling."
    • He put the zoo's bathroom on top of a mountain surrounded by guardian tigers, and dumps a man in a pit of forty tigers because he disliked the zoo. His attempts to kill as many human patrons as possible (or at least make their visit very difficult) are pretty funny in general.
    • He zoomed into first person view, the result being absolute pandemonium.
    • "If this doesn't elicit piss from your nostrils, nothing will!"
  • Saying that he has never been so happy when he beat Oregon Trail, while still staying absolutely deadpan.
    • His names for his party in all of the videos:
    SHIT IS ON THE NIPPLE
    The Full Power Of Titties
    Cows Can Touch Ass Cheeks
    When Shitting Tell Asshole ThankYou
    Smell What The Rock Cooks
    Nipple Titties The Final Frontier note 
    • His gravestones' epitaphs: "HERE LIES SHIT"
    • Him not buying clothes for his party because he "wants everyone naked".
    • His reasons for buying bullets, including defense against hordes of zombies and games of Russian Roulette with the family.
    • His reaction to one of his party members drowning in a river less than 4 feet deep.
    • His wondering how a thief could have stolen nine oxen in the middle of the night.
    • The jobs he gives his oxen, including medical duty, street racing, fighting in UFOC (Ultimate Fighting Oxen Championships) matches, hoof-to-hoof combat, and even reviving dead party members.
    • The conclusion he jumped to after one of his party members (named Is) contracted measles and one of his oxen was injured in the span of one night.
      • ""Is has measles." I can't tell if that's a statement or if it's telling me my party member already has measles. "One of the oxen is injured." What the fuck happened last night?!"
    • One particular part in Organ Trail:
    Text box: Titties turned suddenly and bit Frontier! You had to kill Titties.
    Cr1TiKaL: (Beat) What has this world come to? I'm pretty sure Frontier was bit previously, so the zombies are turning on each other.
  • During Oswald the Elephant:
    "Just walk on the stilts! Use the stilts! Be one with the stilts! You are the stilts! Feel the stilts! Have sex with the stilts, Oswald!"
  • In his video of the original Surgeon Simulator 2013, Critikal uses the hammer to break open the ribcage and sends bones AND the lungs flying, causing him to cry out "Oh, what the fuck? Happy birthday!"
  • Dear Lord, everything in his Happy Wheels commentary.
    "How was I supposed to know to keep my child alive? There should be a message in the beginning, 'Child is useful, do not murder!'"
  • From his Miami Traffic 3 commentary:
    *steals a car and drives away quickly*
    "It looks like Christmas has come early, ladies and gentlemen!"
    * crashes into a building and the car explodes*
    "...Fucking terrific."
  • Ski Jumping Pairs. The already hilarious gameplay footage that exemplifies the "Japan is Weird" stereotype mixed with Critikal's commentary creates comedy gold.
  • His way of cooking a turkey.
  • Pretty much the entirety of his Winback play through, but the absolute crowning moment is when Cr1tikal says, "this game is exactly how I remember it" as the bad guy glitches out in the background.
  • While playing Babysitter Bloodbath, at 5:55, Cr1tikal actually laughs when a guy tells him he's been drinking liquor and tipping cows. The comments section exploded, with everyone freaking out about Cr1tikal's laughter.
  • The first line of his Winnie Home Run Derby commentary: "What's up, everybody, it's Critikal. I'm playing Winnie Home Run Derby: Legend of the Fuck Owl."
    • His reaction to hitting a foul ball: "OHHH! Everyone's fucking!"
    • "Most owls can turn their heads 270 degrees in both directions. This owl can fuck itself in all directions."
    • "For what reason are you an owl? And why have you decided to take up baseball as a hobby? This owl needs some toilet paper, because it's a dirty asshole."
    • "This owl just doesn't have feathers, it's made out of asscheeks. It has asscheeks for feathers."
    • His reaction to finally defeating the owl: "YES! I'VE DONE IT! I'VE DEFEATED THE OWL! DO YOU STILL LIKE TO SINGA ABOUT THE MOONA AND THE JUNEA AND THE SPRINGA
    • Just the fact that he refers to playing against each character as fighting and defeating them is somehow hilarious.
    • And the fact that he's getting extremely immersed in what was meant to be a simple game for younger children.
  • This line from his Super Monkey Ball commentary: "If I had six fingers on one hand right now I would slap the shit out of a gopher."
    • "I don't know how many bananas it is, it's probably enough to feed a family of marsupials for twenty-five years."
    • "Now that looks scary. Feels as though my dick is trying to burrow its way back into my body. But I'm not gonna let it, I'm going to restore my wiener's honor."
    • Critikal suspects that Dr. Scholl trapped the monkeys in balls.
    • "You fucking ass-spanking, fruit-punch-drinking, guitar-playing, shit-eating piece of alligator jizz!"
    • "I am going to regurgitate all of my previous meals."
    • When Dr. Bad-boon's airship flies in in the cutscene: "Oh, speaking of a giant flying dildo, there's one right there!"
  • One of his instructions in the Don't Shit Your Pants commentary is "gather energy for spirit bomb."
  • His frigging terrible gameplay of Touhou Fuujinroku ~ Mountain of Faith is absolutely hilarious. Taken into the fact he's never played Touhou yet decided to pick the Lunatic difficulty for his first time.
    • Also doubles as a Moment of Awesome as he got pretty far without once pressing the shift key.
  • In his Orion commentary, when a group of dinosaurs are attacking him, he says, "Oh, damn it, Team Rocket's taking it to me!"
    • He runs into a dinosaur with a vehicle and sends it sailing up into the sky. It's pretty clear he wasn't expecting that to happen.
    "Oh. Wow. Welcome to the cosmos, dinosaur."
    • "You're going to sit there with socks on your feet and tell me I ran all this way to not even be able to stand on a simple appliance?"
  • His commentary on the Dark Souls series. In the first one, he tells his story of how Nintendo Hard buying the actual game was.
  • From his Mr. President commentary, his "playing street hockey" with the murdered President's body.
    • "Oh...I guess I'm his new briefcase."
    • "Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement: That was not the President. I'm the President. TALLY HO!" (leaps into the crowd)
    • Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You playing whenever the Secret Service character attempts a Diving Save.
  • In his Burger Making commentary, he makes every single order he's given absolutely wrong, and then gets offended when the customer is angry. "Tell me how delicious that burger is, Wally! ...You're an asshole, Wally."
    • "Miss Penny will be a little scared at first, but then she'll realize the burger just wants a hug, she'll give it a hug, and then the burger fingers her. It's the perfect plan."
    • His complete irrational hatred of Chuck. All of it.
    • How he attempts to seduce Miss Prudence with a burger. At first, he puts all of the right ingredients on her burger, and you think it'll be the first one he's done right in the whole video. But before he puts the bun on, he piles on an absolute mountain of "his semen" (mayo).
  • In his IWBTG commentary, his reaction when an apple flies up off a tree and kills him: "Why the fuck are the apples not bound by gravity? No apple falls from a tree going up! I'm sitting here abiding by the laws of gravity like an asshole, but these apples can defy it whenever they want to?"
    • When he gets to the third screen (which is full of spikes and clouds), he wonders if it's the future of pornography.
    • "You know something has gone awry when you're being hunted by apples."
    • "My arch-nemesis...We meet again and this time I have an erection! Whole different ball game. And I still got...eviscerated."
    • (makes it to the end of the fourth screen) Yes! Harvard professors deemed it impossible, but I did it! (gets crushed by spike plate) ...The day I beat this game is the day the Earth stands still."
  • He calls the nameless Pumpkin Ra's al Ghul, Donald Trumpkin, and a sentient basketball.
  • In the Spiderman 2 video, he interprets Aunt May's reaction to being kidnapped by Doc Ock's gang as a sign of her actually being part of the gang.
    • When he reaches Mysterio and sees that his costume has eyes on its chest: "I wasn't looking at your titties, Mysterio, your titties were looking at me!"
  • Goat Simulator, in its entirety.
    • "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your tongue, so that I may climb up it and supply you with this dope dick."
    • Goat!Critikal runs for reelection as mayor and does a stage dive.
    • After falling off a tower: "Fuck me, shove a candy cane down my dickhole, damn it!"
    • "The second I reenter reality, I'm coming back to that fighting ring and I'm taking you to lunch!"
    • His reactions to being constantly flung up into the air. "No. No, no. Honey Nut Cheeri-No's!"
    • He predicts that our world will devolve into a dystopia in the future if we don't allow goats to participate in our sporting events.
  • Cr1tikal plays Purin to Ofuro and, slight creepiness of the game aside, has a blast slapping a girl named Purin about while she slaps back.
    • "Holy shit, she is just delivering my pizza right now, fuck!"
    • *camera moves down to show the player character's headless shadow* "This is exactly what I thought I was when I entered the bathtub. A floating headless torso. Who else would you wanna be in the bathtub with you at the same time? I mean just look at this, this is clearly Washington Irving's first draft of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow I mean that's what this game is based on obviously."
    • "It seems you forgot to add soap to your bath experience! Allow me to...slap your titties until they produce milk and thus artificial bubbles! Why are you not lactating yet, I just gave your titties the one-two-slapperoo!"
  • His rant while playing Pokémon Vietnamese Crystal
    • "You have the audacity to tell me that this is "EASY TO UNDERSTAND" when I'm over here decoding hieroglyphics trying to figure out what the FUCK these characters are saying to me in thier cryptic, disruptive language. They're missing W's, they're missing G's, they're missing grammer; and you're going to tell me it's fucking "EASY TO UNDERSTAND"? You sit there on your high horse and tell me it's "EASY TO UNDERSTAND" you can go right the fuck ahead and shit in my rectum, if that's what you're trying to do."
  • From Octodad - "That's a nice position, looks like I'm about to get a blowjob from a stegosaurus."
  • He spends much of the Silent Hills playable teaser getting angry at cockroaches.
    "I think they're the most disgusting, awful, revolting, repulsive, putrid, rancid, hopeless, meaningless, careless, pointless, useless, nippleless, wiener-fondling, fart-inducing, shit-producing sacks of filth this world can offer."
  • Five Nights at Freddy's is apparently the most-requested game Critikal has ever played, and for good reason. His fearlessness and snark makes the game less scary than it normally is.
    (Upon seeing Chica in the dining room) "That duck looks like it has a soup ladle shoved up its ass. Poor thing looks startled."
    (While ranting at Phone Guy) "I'd like to emphasize the importance of a concise message that conveys what you want to say-" *attacked by Bonnie* "All right, excuse me, then."
    (When Freddy visits him in the dark) "Serenade me, Fazbear. Serenade my candy ass."
    Freddy: "Oh man! Did you piss yourself? That was perfect! Hi, my name is Freddy and this is my band. We like screwing with the night shift guy to pass the time. Hey, you want a beer? We keep them in the back and put them in the pizza dough. Let me tell you, those kids get fucked up!"
    • (while opening and closing the door repeatedly on Bonnie) "I can do this all day, bear. All day. Peekaboo."
    • "Well this is really stirring my pasta."
    • His non-chalant, almost bored reaction when Bonnie attacks him.
    Cr1tikal: (puts camera down) "Oh, okay then."
  • Hybrid Heaven. oh dear god...
    • The absolute crowning moment is when the main character answers the door while jacking off and critikals commentary just makes it even better.
  • The Captain Pronin quadrilogy.
    • "I milk myself when I run."
    • Critikal!Pronin arguing with the sex hotline operator.
    • "Anytime, Mr. President. Look, feel free to contact me whenever about whatever. You want me to do magic at a birthday party? Alakazam, I'm right there fucking your wife."
    • Critikal!Pronin's accordion performance.
    (tears accordion in half) Fuckin' nailed it.
    • "Why are the New York Yankees stealing statues?"
    • "You answer Pronin when Pronin speaks to you!" (walks off in a tutu) "You don't answer my questions, I steal your clothes. I'm a gorgeous ballerina." (walks onstage during the ballet) "Rub your nipples on my cock, you fucking amateurs! Get out of the way, I'm Captain Pronin!"
    • "Don't blow your load yet, Chef Boyardee, I got more for you."
    • "Sorry, honey, the President wants to do Jello shots off my nipples."
    • He wasn't the best father but I always looked up to him because he was 8 feet tall.
    • "Do you like nature? Well, that's too fuckin' bad, here's a bear. You're watching Cobmecthoe...Npean...partine and some Russian shit."
  • The Worst Cutscene Ever Created. Critikal's anger and confusion over the cutscene's crappiness and plot is priceless.
  • Critikal finds himself a copy of Foodfight with "Blind Idiot" Translation subtitles. It's so absurd that even he can't do the entire thing deadpan and starts cracking up a few times.
  • And now, he's found the worst game he's ever played. Bonus points for raging over the fact that he can't even understand the dialogue.
    "I can't understand what these characters are saying half the time. What's his name? Benjamin Spoon-Carrots or something?"
    "If a man lit my car on fire, took a shit in my shoes, milked my dogs without their consent, and stepped on my thumb, I would still hope he lives a life where he never has to play this game."
  • Now, Critikal has found out that wrestling is real after all.
    "Just as my father told me when I was a wee lad, wrestling will evolve and take place above the ring."
  • Layers of Fear:'
    • When he was reading the opening line, he decides to add an extra letter.
      "Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the shitter."
    • His brief singing at one point:
      "Oh, oh, oh, AH! I can't feel my WIENER when I'm with you! But I love WIENER! But I love WIENER!"
  • Critikal shows the highlights of Deadmau5's performance at TI5
  • The fact that, after so long being known among fans for not showing his face, he finally does so... playing two recorders.
  • Cr1tikal shows up in an episode of Planet Dolan. He has his introduction interrupted by a cough.
  • In his Emily Wants To Play video, Cr1tikal gets bored of the game and decides to play his ukelele. Then the lights go out and Cr1t drops his ukelele trying to reach for the mouse.
    "You bent me over, and handled me like a man, but you didn't come inside me, you came in my haaaaaaaaaand, yeah, you- [giggling] oh shit, oh fuck, fuck [ukelele falls], okay, well, yes, yep- just dropped the ukelele lunging for the mouse- [doll kills the player character] Perfect, yep. That was ten minutes well spent and I probably just busted this fucking ukelele. That's... now we're feeling it.
  • Cr1TiKaL and his good friend Kaya decide to watch some wrestling. Throughout the video, especially when New Jack gets the upper hand against Gypsy Joe, Cr1TiKaL, who is known for being The Stoic and a Deadpan Snarker, absolutely breaks down laughing multiple times.
  • Two words: Sad Fish. It features Cr1TiKaL making fun of depressed-looking fish, especially the frogfish.
    "Fuck you, frogfish."
  • Cracking up while reading the MONA Manifesto
  • The Huggbees Baste Just... The Huggbees Baste.
  • Yu Yu Hakushit, an abridgement of Yu Yu Hakusho: The Movie and a hastily made entry into Team Four Star's abridging competition. It's... something.
    • The disclaimer. Instead of simply rattling off copyrights and ownerships, it's Critikal rambling a bunch of silly nonsense.
    • The sound effects are merely Critikal and Huggbees making a bunch of noises, with the exception of the running sounds, which can be heard as "Taptaptaptaptap" or "Runrunrunrunrunrun", as well as THE SOUND IT MAKES WHEN SOMEONE PICKS UP AN ORANGE!
    • The plot. A vitamin C monster has kidnapped a baby and will only give him up if he's brought an orange. Yusuke concludes that the best place to find an orange is in Hell.
    • While running towards the main villain's lair, Kuwabara is grabbed by the leg by a hand emerging from the ground and trips over, remarking that it's a nasty handjob. Immediately afterwards, a mook with a photoshopped demon face and nightmarish voice goes over the sheer torment that he will inflict on Yusuke and company for a full minute, after which Yusuke and Kuwabara decide to, in their own words, run like little bitches.
    • Hiei's voice is replaced with that of Tim Kitzrow.
      Hiei, after cutting a Mook into pieces: BOOMSHAKALAKA!
    • "NORMAL DODGE!"
    • The vitamin C monster gets covered in lava and spends half a minute bitching about how much it hurts.
      Vitamin C monster: I don't think you guys understand how much this hurts. I was in fucking LAVA. That shit's, like, a thousand fucking degrees.
    • Afterwards, the monster decides to use his ultimate attack. He never gets to use it but he spends a very long time saying its name.
    • The ending. Yusuke is unsure of what to do next, with Kuwabara suggesting he come to his bar mitzvah. Suddenly, all characters in the shot are shown wearing yarmulkes. Then the camera pans out to show the Earth itself wearing one.
  • MGS V: Saving Miller - he gets so pissed at Miller for asking him "What took you so long?" that he spends the entire video killing him.
  • During his gameplay of Outlast, he reacts to a Jump Scare of a screaming headless corpse falling from the ceiling by calling him rude for yelling at him.
  • The Wrestling Match of the Century. Cr1TiKaL plays WWE 2K15 and sets up a 6-man elimination chamber match...with five of the wrestlers all being different versions of Brendan Fraser, who all share the exact same entrance animation and music. And the sixth wrestler? Cow Man, making his return from earlier WWE videos.
  • Cr1TiKaL made a parody video where he spoofs fidget spinners, ouija boards and the incessant request to like the video that some YouTubers do...while wearing an Elsa helmet on top of it.
    "It's Shit Pants Scary Ghost Guy!"
  • How to destroy an economy via monkey nuts according to Cr1tiKal.
  • Cr1TiKaL decided to play Roblox in a stream. This is a video with the stream's highlights, and it's...glorious, to say the least. One particular clip has most players in the map, as well as somebody who donated, simply chanting JOIN BRICK BOYZ. Cr1T, once again, known for being an eternal stoic and Deadpan Snarker, entirely loses his shit, unable to emit anything other than small giggles.
    Player: hi want to be my son brother
    Cr1TiKaL: (speechless with laughter)
  • Every goddamn frame of his Enviro Bear 2000 gameplay...or rather his gameplay of a bear driving sim. To elaborate, the former half has him accidentally throw his clock away, but is still able to hibernate before winter - and later on, a large rock presses down on the bear's gas pedal, perpetually ramming him into a larger rock. Plus, the entirety of the latter half has the bear's car progressively become filled to the absolute brim with random objects like pine cones, leaves, rocks, fish, berries, bees and at one point a badger. Cr1T also focuses on ramming into the A.I. opponents, and in the end is still able to complete the level with only just a few seconds left!
    "And my passenger seat is filled to the bitch with scrotum tickling accessories."
  • His attempted playthrough of Battletoads, which is basically just him trying to complete Turbo Tunnel for 8 minutes while also mistaking his character as a frog, only realizing that he's a toad almost 7 minutes into the video.
    "Show them what you're workin' with, Mr. Frog, yeeeeaah... (dies) ...you anus..."
    "Frog fury, bitches, here it is, that's a wall..."
  • Aside from a small scream after a leaf flies in front of his scope while playing Medal of Honor, Cr1tiKal has never been scared by a video game before: even Outlast, Five Nights at Freddy's and Slender fail to elicit any signs of fear from him. So what finally manages to make Cr1tiKal scream? 3AM at the Krusty Krab.
  • His Sodden Super Slam Smackdown livestream, showing gameplay of WWE 2K18 featuring four of his most popular characters: Beef Testosterone, Captain Pronin, Cow Man and Professor Sad, all fighting each other and in a tag team against Fetishimo, Optimus Prime, Ourvork The Conqueror and a pink Trix Rabbit - in addition to Super Snorkler who appears in a Ladder match. Highlights include:
    • Tiana voicing her hopes on Ourvork winning in a 8-way Battle Royale match. Only moments after, he's the first to be thrown out of the ring.
    • Optimus Prime's continuous No Holds Barred Beatdowns towards Super Snorkler, to the point where Charlie states just how much Prime hates the Snorkler.
    • Cow Man thwarting Ourvork's pin on Beef...the latter immediately responding by trying to attack Cow Man, who punches him right in the face. And then Ourvork shoves Cow Man right off the ring.
      "Oh, by God, Cow Man again is cheating! Jesus motherfucking Christ!"
    • Cow Man randomly punching Fetishimo in the face, despite the latter not even being tagged in.
    • Pretty much the majority of the 8-man tag team match, especially the climax: after Cow Man thwarts Optimus' pin on Beef, an enraged Prime tosses Cow Man into the corner of the ring, before throwing Beef in the same corner, and then the unthinkable occurs. Due to a brutal Game-Breaking Bug, Optimus finds himself in the corner as well, engaging in a position that can only be described as a turnbuckle threeway. When the creation of the "peanut butter and fuck sandwich" has ended, the scene seems to have affected the rest of the fighters, with them continuously entering and exiting the ring and their tag positions, and some even just wandering aimlessly...and Cow Man? He remains in the corner of the ring for the rest of the match, completely unmoving and presumably Died Standing Up. Or, in Charlie's words: "Cow Man's spine has literally been severed". Even the referee is also affected, perpetually staring off into space or right at Cow Man directly unless a pin is being performed. In the end, the new characters manage to best the OG squad, Trix doing the pin on Beef.
    • The last match of the stream ends with the game finally giving up the ghost and crashing. Charlie assumes that it was because the game couldn't handle any more of Cow Man's relentlessness, which technically means that Cow Man has earned a long sought for victory after everyone elsenote  won before him.
  • The entirety of him corrupting Ride to Hell.
  • Cr1TiKaL trolling his teammates while playing Last Year: The Nightmare by refusing to rescue them from closets unless they meet his demands - such as doing an impression of Heath Ledger's Joker from The Dark Knight, or answering trivia questions.
  • For the better part of 2018, people in the comment section of Cr1TiKaL's videos kept requesting him to do a Moist Meter on Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga. For Christmas, he went out on an errand.
    Cr1TiKaL: See? (tosses game into trash) It's that easy. Fuck LEGO Star Wars.
  • While playing Fear of Nightmares, he gets killed by a jumpscare consisting of a werewolf flying at him while making a loud screeching. He then (in his standard monotone) states this was the first jumpscare to ever startle him. The rest of the video is him describing how angry he is that a "bottom of the nutsack barrel" jumpscare actually scared him.
  • The RiceGum saga:
  • The Jaystation saga:
    • Snickering at Jaystation's failed attempt at a jumpscare.
      Charlie: I have nothing to say about that, I really fucking liked that a lot.
    • Mocking the Motor Mouth on one of Jay's friends.
    • "That tastes like dementia. Bro, did you lace my drink with dementia?"
    • Jaystation forgets what his fanbase is called and continuously asks Stromedy, much to the annoyance of Charlie.
      Jaystation: Oh man, what's my fanbase called again?
      Charlie: The Small Dick Society, I believe that's what your fanbase is known as, Jaystation.
      Jaystation: What were they called? What were they called? My fanbase...
      Charlie: They're called fucking idiots, Jaystation. How could you forget that?
    • "Jaystation's gone feral, he's gonna start running around on all fours, taking a shit in the living room. It's about to get fucking messy."
    • The conclusion of the Memory Loss potion prank, supposedly has Stromedy having to explain the situation to the police. To which, Charlie has some advice for him:
      Charlie: Honestly, your best bet Stromedy, in that situation, would just be: go outside and just ask if they'll buy your merch. Just plug your fuckin' merch to the police. That would be fuckin' lit bro, pluggin' merch to the coppers.
    • Small-penised Jaystation, little baby-weinered Jaystation.
    • "Sticking your cock in the dirty gloryhole of a biker bar feels less gross than watching a full Jaystation video."
  • The entirety of 2019 Guy. Intentionally sung in the style of a particularly angsty and pretentious early 2000s band.
    My dick's not big
    My girlfriend fucks my friend
    You say I'm down on my luck
    I say it's a win-win,
    'cause I'm a cuck!
    And I hope he fucks her good
    In a way I wish I could
    I just want to WATCH!
  • In his video mocking the Titans trailer, Charlie puts on dark clothes and make-up to mock Robin saying "Fuck Batman." only to admit he doesn't know how to get the lipgloss or nail polish off and doing the rest of the video with it on.
  • In his video of playing Fallout 76:
    • He names his character "I Don't Like Kids."
      "I'd like to introduce you to my character, Mr. I Am Not a Pedophile."
    • Charlie's thoughts on Todd Howard claiming that "he read on the internet that Bethesda's games have bugs".
      Charlie: Todd didn't hear shit. Todd doesn't even know how to use the internet.
  • 3AM Toy Story is Too Scary
    • "He's basically Jaystation, without the crippling meth addiction."
    • "Bonnie's father has come out of nowhere to join Smash Brothers-"
    • "Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Woody Woody Wow"
    • His other jab at Jaystation.
      Charlie: When he does these shit videos, and it's all he does.
  • Charlie watching and commenting on Breakout. Especially, this stream.
  • After Charlie's stunning win in the chess match against XQC, the hosts decide to listen to his audio, only to hear him yell out "My cock is throbbing! Throbbing!"
  • The Worst Toy Ever Made, which lampoons a unicorn doll whose purpose is to poop out slime that you play with.
    Announcer: Now we're ready to make unicorn slime!
    Charlie: WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! YEAAAAH, BABYYYYYY, that's what I've been waiting for, that's what it's all about, (one of his dogs goes up to him) WOO-HOOOOOO! WE'RE MAKING A UNICORN TAKE A SHIT! (the dog immediately leaves) WOO-HOO-HOOOOO!
    • Additionally, the fact that many people who first saw this clip from the resulting memes thought that it was from a stream where he won a match in a game, yet he was actually sarcastically reacting to a toy where you make a plastic rainbow unicorn poop out glittery slime.
  • "Youtuber Taught Me How to Eat Ass" The title and thumbnail.
  • Despite his inability to take in spicy peppers, Charlie steels his nerves and decides to tier-rank several spicy peppers. Naturally this leads to him undergoing one Heroic RRoD after another, even whimpering and in tears while downing milk and ice cream (as well as far more useless honey). The ghost chili destroys Charlie so badly that Matt opts to eat the rest of it. The result is him screaming and channeling Jim Carrey for a few minutes.
    Charlie: The honey has done nothing! Absolutely nothing! Where did you read that, on Reddit or something?! Like the fucking flat Earther subreddit?! Oh, my God!
  • While playing a poor Steam game called ''Temple Fight'', someone in his chat suggests that he does a Moist Meter on the game, leading Charlie to laugh and say he'll think it over.
    • "Go back to the spirit realm!"
  • While everything is gold in his Youtuber Apology Tier List, the RiceGum section is particularly hilarious.
    Charlie: RiceGum himself is like a human F. Everything that man does is an F-tier. If a fucking gas station toilet could speak, it'd have more interesting things to say than RiceGum.
  • His video on Balan Wonderworld, has him playing a different game afterwards. But, there's no transition, and the second game is glitched out, making one think it's still Balan Wonderworld.
    • The second game that he plays is an Asian horror game called The Super Market, featuring very LOUD screams from enemies. The second enemy's scream goes on for quite a while, since it can't figure out how to go around a shelf.
      [enemy starts screaming]
      Charlie: That sounds pretty good actually.
  • Freaky Eaters:
    • "Women Possessed By Cheesy Potato Demon"
    • His interpretation of and really anything he says regarding Mike Dow.
  • Dragons' Den:
    • The titles and thumbnails. - "Man Invents Bottle That Holds Water"
    • "I've suffered a lot, I've slept in my car, and I haven't been able to have a wash in four days cause I was that busy."
      Charlie: And? It's called being a gamer.
  • Real Supervillain Gives People Heart Attacks
  • 10 Real Goblins Caught on Camera
    • "I like to believe that the guy behind the channel is truly frightened by the things that he finds and posts them in earnest."
  • The title and thumbnail of one of his videos on Forged in Fire: "Forged in Overwhelming Masculinity"
  • God Hates Gamers, all of it. For a bit of context: Charlie watches two videos of preachers ranting about video games. The first guy basically just mocks gamers ("I beat Call of Duty... the newest one that came out... in three days. Loser!") and suggests reading the bible as a replacement hobby. The second guy goes on a tangent, claiming that gaming is an epidemic and that people should destroy their gaming consoles. ("Why don't you delete all those video games off your phone and take your X-Box and toss it out the window!") At least... until he randomly starts ranting about Jewish people and Bill Gates.
    Charlie: Man, they hate video games out here. Holy shit.
    • His explanation for the second guy's hatred of video games, followed by a comment from someone in the chat suggesting an alternative.
      Charlie: This man played Overwatch one time and got a bad teammate.
      [....]
      Charlie: (reading a comment from chat) "He preordered Anthem..."
      Yep, that will do it.
  • In his playthrough of Twelve Minutes, he decides to go for one of the bad endings. After fulfilling the Kick the Dog requirements, he then proceeds to have the protagonist eat his wife's dessert on the other side of the room while his spouse has an emotional breakdown.
  • His rant on Bleach during the Anime Tier List is quite majestic.
    • To make things even better, after he's done, someone in his chat tells him "Thanks for the spoiler." Which he reads out and responds by saying he did the person a favor.
    • Regarding the plot of Blood Blockade Battlefront:
      Charlie: Like this entire story is the wettest fart of all time, in anime. Nothing in this show makes any sense whatsoever... At all.
  • Charlie's playthrough of Poppy Playtime. During the first encounter with Huggy, Charlie is facing the wrong way and gets flung towards the vent. Even though, he unintentionally discovered a speedrun strategy, Charlie believes Huggy to be a boss and attempts to fight him. It fails.
    • Charlie's reaction to being flung by Huggy is a monotone: "Oh, I see."
    • While being chased by Huggy in the vent, Charlie stops to read writing on the wall and gets killed.
    • He cuts off the second tape and tells the guy who recorded it to "stop whining."
    • At the end when he finds Poppy. He immediately flings his hand at her box, but wasn't expecting it to open.
      Poppy: You opened my case.
      Charlie: Well, not on purpose. It was an actual accident.
  • During Netflix Cowboy Bebop is Bad, he makes a failed attempt to compliment the series.
    Charlie: I'd rather watch live-action Cowboy Bebop than security camera footage of my car being stolen... So, that's saying something.
  • Charlie playing GTA Vice City Remastered. Best summed up by the Moist Man himself:
    "There's never a dull moment in Vice City."
    • He punches a cop because he wasn't sure it was a cop. As he runs away, another cop chases him, until he runs out of breath near a moped. Charlie then jacks the moped, but is immediately knocked off it and busted by the cop.
      "He fed me the People's Elbow there."
    • This bit of Hypocritical Humor after crashing into a car and sending it flying.
      "Man, no one in this city can drive. Bunch of maniacs out here."
    • "Fucking boy scout just ran this man over."
    • While randomly cruising on a motorcycle, Charlie witnesses a cop chasing after a suspect, only for both to be hit by a cop car.
    • Immediately after, an NPC starts glitching out, leading Charlie to think the man is transcending. And a few seconds later, a hooker does the same.
    • He jacks a motorcycle with two riders on it. The driver is sent flying while the passenger ends up walking on Tommy's head.
    • During a mission, Charlie equips a chainsaw and attempts to ambush two dealers from the top of a roof stairwell. He overshoots it and almost hits one of his AI partners.
      "From the top turnbuckle!"
  • Charlie's greatest nemesis ever: a wasp flying over him while fighting a boss in Elden Ring. The man's screams says it all.
  • In "Nobody Likes Amy Schumer", Charlie talks about Amy Schumer's awful "joke" that she wasn't allowed to say during the Oscars.note  He criticizes it because it brings up Alec Baldwin, even though he's not in the film, then proceeds to demonstrate why it's dumb, by making three jokes involving films that Amy wasn't in. While the jokes themselves aren't funny, Charlie's delivery of them is. Especially with the third one.
    "He-Man? More like Help-Me-Man, I just had to listen to Amy Schumer tell another fucking awful joke and now I'm in need of medical assistance."
  • His review of an Indiegogo campaign for an interactive salt shaker called Smalt:
    Woman in the video: Let Smalt be the conversation piece of your dinner party.
    Charlie: If I ever host a dinner party that's so goddamn boring that people start talking about my salt shakers, just fucking shoot me.
  • His review of a Kickstarter campaign for the Potato Doctor (a screwdriver-like device for putting toppings in baked potatoes):
    • "As all of us know, there's three big medical fields. There's cardiology, there's neurology, and there's potatology."
    • When the woman in the video starts the pitch with "We all love to eat," he points out that it's a horrible way to start a Kickstarter campaign because eating is something everyone in the world does.
      It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from or what you've been through. Your sky is still blue. Go ahead and order this nutsack blanket. It's a blanket for your nutsack.
    • When the video shows an "undesirable" baked potato with no toppings except a single pat of butter:
      That looks pretty damn good to me, but then again, what do I know? The baked potatoes I make can't afford healthcare, so they can't go to the Potato Doctor.
  • His review of the Juicero: After the juicer finishes squeezing the juice out of the packet, he says, "Ta-da! That's all, pussies! What, were you expecting more out of four hundred dollars?"
  • Worst Response Ever has him watching and making fun of a response from a scammer who tried to use a YouTuber named IShowSpeed to shill his crypto game, but failed when chat caught on.
    Charlie: (laughs) Ohh, this is so sad now. You staked the rug pull on a seventeen year old's audience, it didn't pan out, he has now wiped his ass with your whole company, and you are still here begging for that audience to accept you by pretending like things are like close between you two. Yikes, that's embarrassing. Jesus Christ, man. Have some shame.
  • Him playing Greyhill Incident:
    • Regarding the overwhelmingly negative reviews:
      Charlie: We might have ourselves the Gollum of alien games.
    • Upon getting in the truck, he is shocked to see how the character seems to shrink to child height.
      "How short am I?! (....) Where's my booster seat or a stack of textbooks?"
    • Whenever he is attacked by the aliens, he interprets their method as sucking Ryan (the player character) off and acts as though he is the one being fellated.
      "Oh my god. He's slurping me down! Ahh.. Ah.. Oh!"
      "(while mashing the E key to escape) Let go of my cock!"
      "I don't know how much more of this I can take before I nut."
      • And when he gets attacked by two:
        "No, not the double suck! (furiously pressing E) Ohhhooooo!"
        "(after losing) I was defenseless against two... One on each nut... Oh, too much. Feels too good.."
  • He reenacts Sienna Mae's infamous interpretive dance apology by dancing like Pennywise.
    • While the subject matter itself is quite serious, Charlie gets some good zingers at Colleen's expense.
      • "That bleeding in your ears is normal. This is a ukelele apology video."
        Colleen: The toxic gossip train. You got a one-way ticket to misinformation station.
        Charlie: Nah, she's giving us a ticket to defecation station, 'cause this is some shit here.
  • What does he do to celebrate the United States' Independence Day? Conduct a citizenship test.
  • In Yogurt Tier List:
    Matt: Without the M&Ms, it's got no legs to stand on.
    Charlie: Yeah.
    Matt: Good try, Yo-Crunch. Yo-Shit.
    Charlie: The M&Ms were its make-up and without it, it was ugly. Ban make-up. Woman keep lying to us with make-up on.
    Matt: They're all lying to us.
    Charlie: Mhmm.
    Matt: I don't get to wear make-up.
    Charlie: So why do they?
    Matt: Where's my push-up... jockstrap? (everyone cracks up)
    Charlie: (snickering) Haven't heard that argument before yet, but that's-you're making a good point.
  • During the Pumpkin Spice Tier List, Charlie opens a Chobani Pumpkin Spice-flavored yogurt and is surprised when the container spurts some back at him.
    Charlie: Who shook up my yogurt...? What the fuck was that...? You really got me good with that one, guys.
    • While explaining how dangerously sharp Pumpkin granola is, Charlie takes a piece from the container and snickers when he notices that it's shaped like an Amogus.
  • Donut Daddy Scares Me has Charlie continually chuckling while talking about and showing off a TikTok user who makes sexually suggestive videos of himself baking.
  • Worst Restaurant in America. Charlie dunks on Long John Silver's while debating whether or not he should try it. During which, he calls out several trolls who say they like it.
    Troll: You're just hating on LGS 'cause it's fun. I don't think it's bad.
    Charlie: Have some fucking shame. Did you just actually drop an abbreviation for Long John Silver and get it wrong? LGS? It'd be LJS and nobody's abbreviating Long John Silver's! They don't have fans! Nobody's doing that! That's how I know you're lying, you didn't even get the fucking imaginary abbreviation correct.
    [....]
    Charlie: Thanks for the Tier 1, LongJohnSilverCEO. How long have you had that account? You just made it. Yeah, created two minutes ago. Don't even try and gaslight me into thinking there's real Long John Silver fans. I can see when you made the account... Scoundrel.
    [....]
    Troll: I am an LJS enjoyer.
    Charlie: No, what you are is a goddamn liar. Stop, just stop. I know you're not.
    • There's also this comment from chat that makes him laugh:
      Comment: The one in my town burned down. Shit's wack.
  • Charlie uses the Power of AI software to make Absolutely banger music about growing a second anus and being able to shit twice as hard. It needs to be seen to be believed.

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