Funny / Cinema Sins Series and Franchises: 0-C

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300 series

300

• "Leonid-ass." *ding* "Also, all of Sparta can see the king's ding-a-ling if they happen to look out their windows." *ding*
• "The director said "Here, eat an apple. It'll make you look like even more of an asshole." *ding*

300: Rise of an Empire

• Jeremy immediately adds 100 sins at the beginning of the movie to cover for all the slow motion scenes throughout the film.
• "Back during these times, blood looked an awful lot like strawberry jelly!"
• WHY DOES EVERY SHOT IN THIS MOVIE HAVE LITTLE FLYING WHITE PARTICLES EVERYWHERE?!
• This moment:
  Spartan: Leonidas was betrayed by a hunchback.
  Jeremy: Tom Hulce?

Alien franchise

Prometheus

• The first two sins:
  This is the most gorgeous looking movie that I've ever wanted to punch in the face. (ding)
  This guy looks like a muscular water balloon; I want to pop him with a needle. (ding)
• "Movie explores the origins of juggling."
• "Oh man, this is the same valley Mufasa was killed in."
• "This guy confuses the captain for Google."
• "Jars of water and jars of pee."
• Chris' reaction to one of the movie's reveals:
  Vickers: ..father.
  Chris: I don't care. (ding)
• The origin of the Prometheus School of Running Away from Things:
  Chris: "This is exactly how Scooby and Shaggy would try to run from this thing."
• The stinger:
  I think this is an abortion even the red states can get behind.

Prometheus (Re-Sinned)

• Just the fact that they brought Chris back to narrate.
• Chris getting repeatedly exasperated about characters unmasking. He first gives one sin to Holloway unmasking (because he's a loose cannon), and then declares he's gonna give 100 for each subsequent scientist who does the same. (And he does. Within mere seconds of each other.)
  Chris: This isn't a scientific survey team! This is a f*cking away mission led by Captain Kirk and the cast of Sesame Street!
• The video censoring Shaw's C-section... with THE CLAW.
• When the video revisits the origin of the Prometheus School of Running Away from Things:
  Chris: "Welcome to the 10-year anniversary of the opening of the Prometheus School of Running Away from Things! As you can see the festivities have already begun with a rather stunning aerial display and it won't be long until the main event that you've all been waiting for. My goodness! Such athleticism! Such poise! Such utter and complete obliviousness to the lateral alternatives available!"

Alien: Covenant

• When the crew members decide to go down to the planet, Jeremy gives out this sage advice:
  Jeremy: No masks? Really? Remember kids, just because you CAN breathe something doesn't mean you should.
• This:
  Jeremy: No one has ears this clean. Just the other day, I swear that Indiana Jones came out followed by a wax boulder while I was cleaning my ears.
• This:
  Daniels: None of this makes sense.
  Jeremy: It is apparent that Daniels would be excellent at CinemaSins.
• The "fingering" line:
  David: (to Walter) Watch me, I'll do the fingering.
  Jeremy: No way, man... The last time I heard this I got in a LOT of trouble with the wife!

Alien

• "So Kane is all better now. I guess we won't perform any X-rays or tests or anything. Alien species have no purpose other than being assholes, so everything should be A-OK!"
• As Jones the Cat coolly watches the Alien kill Brett:
  Jeremy: Mondays, amiright?
  • And the general Fridge Logic of why the hell Jonesy was onboard the ship in the first place.
• Jeremy repeatedly pointing out all the phallic and vaginal imagery present throughout the movie.
• The later Robotic Reveal of Ash leads to plenty of gags throughout.
  Jeremy: I have it on good authority that one of these crew members was dreaming of electric sheep. Also, given what we know about Ian Holms' character later, how was he put under like a regular human... given that he is not one?!

Aliens

• Jeremy relates a story from his Pop Culture class in college as Bishop is getting impaled.
  Jeremy: Anyway, we were asked to look for any kind of symbolism in the movie, and in this scene, two people in unison yelled "Queen takes Bishop!" and it was annoyingly clever or cleverly annoying, depending on your point of view.
• And then we get to the iconic moment.
  Ripley: Get away from her, you bitch! (3 sins silently removed)

Alien 3

• At the opening logo:
  Jeremy: Damnit, Fox! It's 2020! Why haven't you updating your name yet?! Oh wait...
• At a shot of blood seeping through gauze:
  Jeremy: Huh. I guess it really is the "quicker-picker upper."
• This bit:
  Credit: DIRECTED BY DAVID FINCHER
  Jeremy: Yeah but not THAT David Fincher. Obviously the guy who directed Fight Club, The Social Network, Zodiac and Se7en wouldn't be responsible for THIS piece of trash! It's probably like a Paul W.S Anderson vs Paul Thomas Anderson situation.
• Jeremy's understated reaction to Ridley's escape pod crashing on Fiorna:
  Jeremy: Holy f*ck, that looks like sh*t.
• When the audience finds out Newt and Hicks are dead:
  Jeremy: "Hey, remember the characters you fell in love with during the last Alien movie and were so glad they survived? Well, we've killed all of them off expect for Ripley. Hope that's cool!"
• This bit:
  Ripley: How did she die?
  Clemens: She drowned in her cryo-tube.
  Jeremy: I can't believe "drowned in her cryo-tube" won the "how should Newt die" poll. I voted for eaten by Jonesy. F*cking Newt.
• When Ripley first appears with her shaved head:
  Jeremy: G.I. Ripley.
• This:
  Clemens: How do you like your new haircut?
  Ripley: It's OK.
  Jeremy: Vanity. Definitely my favorite sin.
• Followed by:
  Ripley: Are you attracted to me?
  Clemens: In what way?
  Ripley: That way.
  Jeremy: No wait, it's lust. Lust is my DEFINITELY favorite sin, especially if it involves Zuul and the bad guy from Last Action Hero.
• When Ripley wakes up after a Xenomorph attack:
  Jeremy: Did...did she just feel that in The Force?!
• When Clemens touches the remains of the Xenomorph's attack:
  Jeremy: GOD F*CKING DAMNIT STOP TOUCHING THINGS WITH YOUR F*CKING HANDS! Even the inmates use gloves, you dick. You're a f*cking doctor!
• "Oh goody. 40 minutes in and we haven't had one decent alien sequence but here's an attempted rape. This movie is fun."
• This:
  Ripley: Was there an alien on board?
  Jeremy: If there WAS an alien on board, they should have made one of those cheesy yellow decals and slapped it on the ship's window.
• This bit:
  Ripley: Then we're f*cked.
  Andrews: No. YOU'RE F*CKED.
  Jeremy: Dude, that was 20 minutes ago! Try to keep up.
• When the Xenomorph attacks Clemens:
  Jeremy: How the f*ck did it sneak up on them? Was he wearing ballet slippers?!
• At the iconic shot of the Xenomorph confronting Ripley:
  Jeremy: This shot is so connected to this movie, I'm going to give it a "Roll Credits!"
• Jeremy almost removes a sin for the prisoners' reaction to Andrews getting killed but decided against it because "THIS is the best part of the movie."
• This bit:
  Aaron: What's going to happen now? Who's in charge of us?
  Jeremy: The answer is Charles. Charles is always in charge.
• After an explosion:
  Jeremy: EVERYONE survives this. I mean, almost everyone. Look, as long as Dillon and Ripley are on screen, I'm confident in saying that everyone is alive.
• "You know in writer's rooms where they have rules for things that shouldn't be done. They should have had one for this movie. Rule #1: RIPLEY IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE IMPREGNATED BY A F*CKING ALIEN."
• At an exterior shot:
  Jeremy: Considering these outside shots look so sh*tty, I can't figure out why they ever cut to them. They add ZERO to the story. Every single exterior looks like Jason X took a sh*t all over Space Quest IV.
• As a Xenomorph attacks a prisoner:
  Jeremy: Just wanted to point out that this movie had a 50 MILLION DOLLAR budget in 1992.
• When Ripley makes her sacrifice:
  Bishop II: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
  Jeremy: Um... Trust exercises?
• As the chestburster emerges from Ripley:
  Jeremy: Mazel tov, it's a girl!
• This bit:
  Jeremy: Morse got to be the last one standing?! F*CKING MORSE?!
• The final sin:
  Computer: END OF TRANSMISSION.
  Jeremy: If only that were true.
• One of the outtakes:
  Aaron: How come you're always making fun of me for being dumb?!
  Fredo Corleone: I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like what everybody says! I'M NOT DUMB, I'M SMART!

Annabelle series

Annabelle

• After getting fed up with all of the horror movie cliches in the film, Jeremy says this:
  Jeremy: By my count, this is the 4th millionth time this has happened in a horror movie. I am CERTAIN the filmmakers will get a prize for this in a secret ceremony in Hollywood and the virgin sacrifice will appease their god, probably copied from another god.
• Jeremy compares the demon controlling the doll to a "less evil Jeff Dunham."
• After the movie's climax, Jeremy gives quite a number of sins about the movie's many unanswered questions, ending with this:
  Jeremy: Also, if any soul would do, then why didn't the demon also haunt John? Are you telling me only a female soul will do? That's racist. (ding)
• The sentence: Bride of Chucky.

Annabelle: Creation

• During the opening credits, showing Annabelle being built:
  Jeremy: And that's how Annabelle was created. The end.
• When a dumbwaiter moves by itself:
  Jeremy: Very few people know that this was originally a spec script about a haunted dumbwaiter that they turned into an Annabelle movie. It was called At Your Scare-vice.
• At one point, Jeremy gets so annoyed with the movie, he doesn't sin it but instead plays clips from Glengarry Glen Ross, the band Ministry and Scrooged over the footage.
• "Sister Charlotte is amazing at both regular sins and CinemaSins."
• Jeremy's comments on Mrs. Mullers face:
  Jeremy: I want to play beer pong with her eye socket.
• The sentence: Seed of Chucky.
• One of the outtakes plays the Puppet-Master theme over Annabelle being built.

Annabelle Comes Home

• During the Warrens' speech at the beginnning:
  Jeremy: If you're in a house with a creepy doll and it has moved or has been moved, what are you supposed to do? Are there people out there that can just ignore that sh*t? Not everybody has the Warrens on speed-dial!
• This:
  Lorraine: It wanted to get inside of you.
  Jeremy: Well, that's no different with most guys when it comes to nurses.
• This bit:
  Judy: Cared for?! It should be destroyed.
  Jeremy: Lorraine is going to explain that destroying the doll wouldn't solve anything but why haven't the nurses done anything about it? After all this talk with the nurses and Annabelle, they STILL haven't made that movie but they used the orphanage storyline to give us The Nun. And I will never forgive this franchise for that.
• When Lorraine pulls down a map loudly:
  Jeremy: You know what's worse than a jump scare? The "we're going to play on audience's expectations" jump scare.
• This:
  Annabelle Mullins: I like your doll. *disappears*
  Jeremy: What an asshole.
• This bit:
  Jeremy: Everytime I see a scene like this in a horror movie, I turn into Al Pacino from Glengarry Glen Ross.
  Richard Roma: What's the point? WHAT'S THE F*CKING POINT?!
  • The references continue later on after Judy rings a bell:
  Jeremy: A: Always. B: Be. C: Conjuring. Always Be Conjuring.
• This:
  Trucker: OH MY GOD! I'm so sorry! It was like I had no control over my truck.
  Jeremy: FYI, I've tried this with the cops 5 times and it's only worked twice.
• This bit:
  Ed: Do we still have the glass from Trinity Church?
  Jeremy: Do you think that the fans of this series were really wondering where the glass that they keep Annabelle behind came from? Because this movie thinks they did.
• Jeremy sins chess club.
• This:
  Katie: If there is a presence here in this room, please give me a sign.
  Jeremy: Amature Ghosthunters.
• This bit:
  Mary Ellen: I think you have the wrong house. There's no Annabelle here.
  Annabelle Mullins: Yes, she is.
  Jeremy: Even if there is no jump rope, this girl is 100 percent Discount Nightmare on Elm Street Jump Rope kid.
• When Judy brandishes a cross:
  Jeremy: I would have removed all the sins if this cross warded off Mary Ellen and threw her across the room.
• This:
  Mary Ellen: Where do you see them?
  Judy: Everywhere I go.
  Jeremy: So would you say you see dead people? Walking around like normal people? All the time?
• Jeremy adds 20 sins for the movie being too slow with its cinematography choices.
• Jeremy adds a sin for Mary Ellen forgetting about a pizza because "forgetting about a pizza is a sin."
• This bit:
  Pizza Delivery Boy: You know you got to woo her, right?
  Jeremy: Who are you?! WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS SCENE?!
• "I don't trust anyone who has 2 versions of "Sorry" in their house."
• When the hellhound shows up:
  Jeremy: The Transformers: The Movie was more subtle about being an ad.
• "Unfinished cake."
• This bit:
  Jeremy: OH NO! The milk is moving by itself. These demons are EEEEEEVIL!
• During a jump scare by the Ferryman, Jeremy gives him some alternate motivation:
  Jeremy: "Hey, any pizza left?!"
• When Annabelle types "miss me?" over and over on a typewriter:
  Jeremy: Jack Torrance would like a word.
• This:
  Bob: Judy! Look out!
  Bob: *hits demon with guitar*
  Jeremy: Guitar hero.
• Jeremy is not impressed at all the jump scares:
  Possessed-Judy: *screeches*
  Jeremy: Uh huh. Yeah. Sure.
• The last sin:
  Ed: Hey, anybody wanna hear a song?
  Jeremy: And that's when Judy lost all the friends she just made.

The Back to the Future Trilogy

Back To the Future

Back To the Future Part II

• On Jennifer being recast, and we first see her in the beginning...
  Jennifer: How 'bout a ride, Mister?
  Jeremy: Sure, but ... who the f*ck are you?
• When Doc says that they've travelled to October 21, 2015:
  Jeremy: Hey, that's the day of this video's launch!^note This video was uploaded on October 21, 2015 What a coincide- Hang on... What? It's NOT a coincidence? Wow. Why wasn't I told about this?
• After a bunch of kids attempt to kill Principal Strickland in a drive-by shooting:
  Jeremy: These assholes hate their principal so much that they're still angry enough to try and kill him in a drive-by six years after they've been required by anybody to even attend school.^note The high school that Strickland was the principal of was burned down six years ago and they didn't rebuild it - Jeremy also points this out THAT... is a serious grudge.

Back To the Future Part III

• The fact that the video description calls themselves out on sinning the movie a long time after they made videos on the first two.
• At the Logo Joke of all of Universal's logos:
  Jeremy: 38 seconds of Universal jacking off all over itself.
• During the opening credits:
  Jeremy: 1990 seems way too modern to be seeing ZZ Top with a featured song in a movie.
  • Later on, at the unveiling of the clock tower:
  Jeremy: Even in 1885, ZZ Top was dated.
• This bit:
  Doc Brown: When I was a boy, I read 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea! It was then when I realised that I must devote my life to science!
  Jeremy: Movie inspires Michael Crichton's book Sphere, which in turn inspired the movie Sphere, so f*ck you, movie, for reminding me that exists!
• This:
  Doc Brown: No wonder this circuit failed! It says "made in Japan"!
  Jeremy: That's racist.
• This bit:
  Marty: Clint Eastwood never wore anything like this.
  Doc Brown: Clint who?
  Marty: That's right, you haven't heard of him yet.
  Jeremy: Movie is a dick to Revenge of The Creature.
• This:
  Marty: The cave!
  Jeremy: Of convenience!
• Jeremy calls out the creepiness of Lorraine Baines looking so similar to Maggie McFly, wondering if "the McFly/Baines tree doesn't fork at all!"
• Jeremy adds 100 sins for all the times the movie repeats situations from the first two.
• As Marty escapes "Mad Dog" Tannen and his gang:
  Jeremy: Marty McFly definitely attended The Prometheus School of Running Away from Things. A shame too, considering how many times he changed directions the last two times this happened. Surely he doesn't need a skateboard for EVERY escape.
• This:
  Deputy: Sorry, fellas, I'm going to have to have you check all your guns in at the door.
  Jeremy: But you can buy a new Colt revolver at the party in case you feel weird about your gun!
• This bit:
  Marshall Strickland: Mantain your discipline at all times, son. Always remember that word. Discipline!
  Jeremy: I wonder how Strickland would feel if he knew his advice would lead to a line of high school principals?
• This:
  Maggie McFly: Sure hope you're considering your future, Mr. Eastwood.
  Jeremy: Have I commented on these awful Scottish accents yet? Wait, they're supposed to be IRISH?! THAT'S EVEN WORSE!
• This bit:
  Marty: Great Scott!
  Doc Brown: I know, this is heavy!
  Jeremy: What happens in the future? Do we become assholes or something?!
• This:
  Marty: TEN MINUTES?! Why do we have to cut these things so damn close?!
  Jeremy: Marty would be futuristic at CinemaSins!
• At the saloon:
  Old Timer: Everyone will say that Clint Eastwood is the biggest yellowbelly in the west!
  Jeremy: So THAT'S how Rick Dalton got all those roles in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood!
• When "Clint Eastwood's" tombstone disappears:
  Jeremy: Wow, Doc and Marty made it that the cemetary went out of business!
• When the "YOU'RE FIRED" message fades from existence:
  Jeremy: Wouldn't the entire paper disappear?

Blade Series

Blade

Blade II

Blade: Trinity

• Jeremy sins the opening narration, not just because it's narration, but also because it's Ryan Reynolds doing it as Hannibal King, not Deadpool, which makes Jeremy forlorn.
• This:
  Hannibal: But the movies are all full of sh*t.
  Jeremy: Sins. I think you mean sins.
• "It doesn't get more David Goyer than a vampire flipping off the sun."
• When Blade uses his car headlights to kill a vampire:
  Jeremy: You could let this UV light kill you. Or you could, you know, duck.
• "Don't you like to remember, before Blade and Underworld (2003) came out, when vampires just liked eating people? No guns, no political sabotage...just eating people."
• This exchange:
  Whistler: What is it?
  Blade: What are you worried about?
  Jeremy: The window? The chain link fence? The moon? Blade, IS IT THE MOON?!
• Jeremy sums up Wesley Snipes's Dull Surprise performance:
  Jeremy: So emotion, such range.
• Hannibal Lecture.
• When Whistler dies, Blade's scream makes Jeremy wonder if he's just gone Super Saiyan.
• Jeremy points out a Canadian address left on a building and sarcastically congratulates the movie so "expertly hiding their filming location".
• "Is this not the largest shower in the history of showers? They could use that to shower elephants. Or cars. Or Wesley Snipes's tax bill.
• "King's fighting the pro wrestler and these two are swashbuckling. I'm just one iocane powder reference away from calling this a stealth sequel to The Princess Bride."
• One of the outtakes:
  Blade: Who the hell are you people?!
  Patrick Star: Who are you people?!

Blade Runner Series

Blade Runner

• Though Jeremy loves the movie, he does point out its pacing problems:
  Jeremy: This movie makes Gone with the Wind look like a Rick and Morty episode.
• This:
  Deckard: Replicants are like any other machine.
  Jeremy: That's replicant-ist.

Blade Runner 2049

• "In an attempt to answer the question, 'how much fog is too much fog', movie answers with THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH FOG!!!"
• "Damn, K just had his Repli-cock blocked."
• Jeremy points out the continous Coca-Cola Product Placement, leaving him to wonder if they won the Franchise Wars like Taco Bell.
• This exchange.
  Bald Archivist: My mom still cries over the lost baby pictures.
  K: Well it's a shame you... must've been adorable.
  Jeremy: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. [Sin Counter goes down by 1]
• Jeremy notes that there STILL isn't any L.A traffic.
• "Since this is San Diego, I'm guessing this is the dystopic future of Comic-Con."
• Over a shot of slaves building machine parts:
  Jeremy: Movie cuts to a live feed of one of Apple's manufacturing plants.

The Bourne Series

The Bourne Identity

The Bourne Supremacy

The Bourne Ultimatum

The Bourne Legacy

• This:
  CIA Agent: I want to know everything about everyone at every time.
  Jeremy: Facebook.
• Jeremy throws up after a shot continuously rotates.
• Jeremy claims a background painting looks like "Gandalf teaching Frodo how to play the violin".
• During an interrogation scene:
  CIA Agent: Where'd you find that information?
  Aaron: YouTube.
  Jeremy: I wonder if Coke or Adidas ran any ads in front of that video. If so, we need to tell them that their brands are running preroll ads in front of damning spy evidence. Or better yet, the CIA can put a copyright claim on the video.
• Jeremy calls out the movie for its frequent location changes.
• This bit:
  Marta: You pack in the genetic mutations, infect the body and the vectrons load into the body..
  Jeremy (sounding genuinely impressed): Ohhhhhhhhh. OK.
• This:
  Jeremy I would honestly remove 100 sins if Aaron woke up from his coma and turned into Matt Damon.
• During a particularly incomprehensible chase sequence, Jeremy is so confused, his only reponse is a Flat "What".

Jason Bourne

The Chronicles Of Narnia franchise

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

• "Edward is such an annoying little bastard, always correcting and nitpicking everyone's- Hey, wait a minute!"
• "Cricket."
• Jeremy repeatingly pointing out how insufferable the children are.
• This:
  Fox: Aslan has ordered me to gather more troops.
  Jeremy: Fox news.
• At the appearance of Santa Claus, Jeremy wonders if a movie could jump the shark in the middle of a scene.
• This bit:
  Peter: Whoa, horsey!
  Horse: My name is Phillip.
  Jeremy: If they just made these movies about Phillip the Horsey, we'd still be getting Narnia movies to this day.
• As the kids lead the forces of good into battle:
  Jeremy: Thank God they missed the dangers of World War Two!
• As the forces of evil advance across the battlefield:
  Jeremy: I'm sure these three are supposed to be giants, but am I alone in thinking this looks more like three regular blokes and a bad case of Honey I Shrunk the Mythical Hordes?

Prince Caspian

• The first sin:
  Jeremy: 45 seconds of logos and this rock, I'm going to SKIP!!
• At Prince Caspian's birth:
  Jeremy: "Zooming in on a person in childbirth that you thought was being murdered because of their scream" cliche. Or, as it's called in Hollywood, the Doom and Gloom to Zoom Womb.
• "Movie steals the haunted forest ex machina from Lord of the Rings and basically all fantasy movies ever."
• When Prince Capsian bangs his head against a tree:
  Jeremy: This movie has ''all'' the cliches!
• Jeremy instantly starts sinning the children again.
• This bit:
  Jeremy: The director said "Let's have Lucy eat an apple so the audience will be reminded of the Garden of Eden, even though the whole point of the apple was that it ruined the garden" and thus, making ''himself'' the asshole!
• This:
  King Miraz: Ever since the death of Caspin the Ninth...
  Jeremy: Oh good, exposition in a council meeting. Two of the most exciting things ever caught on film!
• Followed with:
  Glozelle: Our beloved Caspian has been kidnapped by...Narnians!
  Jeremy: That's racist!
• "These ruins are so depressing with its bright flowers and fresh apples. I'm downright dejected, I tell you."
• As the Pevensies' discover an underground chamber:
  Jeremy: No one will be seate during the National Treasure portion of the Narnia movie.
• This bit:
  Peter: I can't believe it! It's all still here!
  Jeremy: YOU can't believe it?! Try being me, then you'll know what disbelief is, pal.
• This:
  Edmund: I think it's time we found out what is going on.
  Jeremy: ONLY JUST NOW?!
• When Caspian is discovered:
  Nikabrik: I told you we should have killed him when we had the chance!
  Trufflehunter: You know why we can't!
  Jeremy: Because his name is in the title of the movie?
• Followed with:
  Trufflehunter: -Or do I have to sit on your head again?!
  Jeremy: Nice. I didn't know C.S Lewis was using some of my fanfic in his story. The Centaurs should be along shortly, then things get really interesting...
• This:
  Glozelle: How long until the bridge is finished?
  Jeremy: By this time in the original, we had already met fauns, white witches and magic wardrobes. We're 32 minutes in and we're talking about bridge repair. It really is strange how the franchise took a nosedive after this. Maybe someone can explain why...
• This bit:
  Peter: That's the problem with girls: can't keep a map in their heads.
  Jeremy: What the FUCK?!
• When the camera pans down an enormous cliff:
  Jeremy: What's the problem? In The Grey, they just jumped this sh*t.
• This:
  Minotaur: Shall we list the things the Telmarines took from us?!
  Jeremy: Yes. Please. List them all. Make this movie even longer...
  • Followed with:
  Faun: Our homes!
  Nymph: Our lands!
  Dwarf: Our freedoms!
  Jeremy: Oh sh*t...you were serious?!
• This bit:
  Centaur: I am the one who watches the skies.
  Jeremy: Finally! We know who to blame for all of those smashed satellites and asteroids! THIS guy watches the skies for a living!
• At one point during the centaur's speech, Jeremy falls asleep.
• "Hammering. Plank carrying. Sawing. Excitment?"
• "If you cut out all of the walking in this movie, it would be a more reasonable hour and a half instead of bloated f*cking nonsense in 2.5 hours like it's Saving Private Ryan or some sh*t. Jesus."
• When Lucy is reunited with Aslan:
  Lucy: I've missed you so much.
  Jeremy: Well, for you it's been a year but for him, it's been a hundred years, so maybe care a little more about his feelings.
• This:
  Aslan: Things never happen the same way twice, little one.
  Jeremy: Ironic coming from a Lion in a Disney movie who's also a King.
• This bit:
  Peter: Miraz and his war machines are coming!
  Jeremy: War Machines? Talking woodland creatures? Movies that you have to see before this one to make any sense?! Is this the MCU?!
• As Prince Caspian and the Pevensies' ride on griffons, Jeremy immediately blames the Eagles.
  • Immediately after:
  Jeremy: And then the griffons peace out from the battle. Bunch of dicks.
• At a shot of a poorly animated CGI mouse:
  Jeremy: "How much of this movie will be in CGI?" "About 40%, sir." "That's nowhere near enough! We need more!"
• This bit:
  Reeplecheep: Yes, I'm a mouse. HIYA!
  Jeremy: DID THAT MOUSE JUST SLIT A GUY'S THROAT IN THIS KIDS MOVIE?! The only difference between this and Game of Thrones is the camera angles and this probably has a better ending.
• This:
  Edmund: What are you doing here?! You're supposed to be at the guardhouse!
  Jeremy: Good point...then why are you here?!
• When Peter drops his sword as he brandishes it:
  Jeremy: What a dumbass.
• "Boy, for a family-friendly movie that can't show blood, there sure is a lot of dismembering, maiming and disemboweling going on!"
• When the guards attack the army with crossbows, Jeremy attempts to make a reference but gets stuck halfway through, trying to work out what he was trying to remember while footage from the movie plays.
• This bit:
  Bulgy Bear: I can drink a river of blood and not burst.
  Jeremy: When you remember your favourite parts of the first Narnia movie, it was the blood drinking, right?!
• This:
  Edmund: Pete, you need to see this!
  Jeremy: In Narnia, "you better come take a look at this" isn't just a cliche, it's a way of life!
• When Prince Capsian finally shows up in the climatic battle:
  Jeremy: Deus-ex Caspiana!
• When a character is thrown into a wall:
  Jeremy: JESUS, this movie is violent!
• As Lucy plays with Aslan:
  Jeremy: THERE IS NO TIME FOR THIS TOMFOOLERY.
• This:
  Peter: Come. Our time is done.
  Jeremy: Things I've said ever 5 minutes for the last hour finds its way into the script.
• The last two sins:
  Jeremy: This movie has more endings than Return of the Ki- HEY, WIAT A MINUTE! *ding* Also, 12. MINUTES. OF. CREDITS!
• One of the outtakes:
  Nikabrik: I told you we should have killed him when we had the chance!
  Trufflehunter: You know why we can't!
  Pee-Wee Herman: I say we let him go!
• Another outtake plays the Zelda item chime over the Penvensies' opening chests.

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs series

Cloudy With A Chance Of MeatballsCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2

• Because 3% of the movie at the start just replays the previous movie, 3% of the previous movie sins gets added: 5 -> 8.78
• Penis laser.

Cloverfield

10 Cloverfield Lane

• In a scene where Michelle is wearing a shirt with the Eiffel Tower.
  Jeremy: Man, the placement of the Eiffel Tower on her—
  * *smack, smack*
  Jeremy: Ow! Ow, I can't help it, it's just refl—
  * *smack*
• "John Goodman twerking."

The Cloverfield Paradox

• T-Dripping.
• At the appearance of Clover Nee in the credits:
  Jeremy: Can't wait until we see 10 Clover Nee Lane and the Clover Nee Paradox, both of which will have little to do with the original Clover Nee.
• When the movie skips from 80 days to 236 days:
  Jeremy: This movie's so fast, it's like a theme park ride. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
• At a shot of the astronauts playing foosball:
  Jeremy: You only have 3 firings left before the Earth is destroyed. This is no time for foosball!
• This bit:
  Mark: We are indeed talking about the Cloverfield paradox...
  Jeremy: Roll paradoxes!
• "There's the big Slusho easter egg for all you Cloverfield fans. That's why you're here, right? The Slusho boy."
• When the foosball table goes crazy:
  Jeremy: Aw man. I was hoping the ship would be haunted by the ghost of Frederic Collignon!
• Jeremy compares Hamilton's character motivation to "Miss Piggy from Muppets Take Manhattan."
• When the Cloverfield Monster reappears:
  Jeremy: I hear the next Cloverfield movie is going to be a Steve Carrell comedy.
• One of the outtakes plays the theme song from Star Trek: Enterprise over the space capsule returning.

The Conjuring

The Conjuring

The Conjuring 2

• Jeremy calls out the movie for failing to provide subtitles for a clearly foreign language. The language in question? British English.
• The demon turns a cross upside-down:
  Jeremy: Oh, she's being haunted by Saint Peter.

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