Funny / BattleTech (2018)

• Sumire Meyer, the navigator, comes from a planet that has a very avian-rich animal biosphere; essentially, birds, birds, and more birds. Much of her background characterization chatter is dedicated to her antipathy towards birds because of it.
  • Her hatred of birds is also a Take That! directed at Far Country, a BattleTech novel that's become infamous for featuring sentient aliens, specifically alien birds. When Sumire suggests that her worst case scenario for a JumpShip misjump is getting stranded on a planet of birds, she is describing the exact plot of the novel.
  • Her ancestors are originally from Pomme De Terre. French for "potato."
• One of the possible events allows you to intervene in an argument over the last cup of coffee. It is possible to be mean and take the cup for yourself.
  • Going full Team Dad, treating the guys arguing over the coffee like children, and splitting it between them and berating them for being giant babies over it causes everyone to agree that it was silly and get the High Spirits buff.
• Another event has your banks threaten to repossess your ship. One of the possible responses to this is to basically bullshit and flatter them into claiming that those threats were made "in error".
• One event that comes up after you refit the Argo to have a low-gravity swimming pool allows you to grant permission for Skinny Dipping night at the pool after someone was caught doing so. Announcing that you have a recording of this skinny-dipping incident prompts one of your pilots somewhere deeper in the ship to yell "Oh my god!"
  • Prior to this one of the random announcements is Farah noticing a pilot skinny-dipping in the primary coolant tank and reporting it to Darius.
  Darius: I swear, it's like herding cats... roger, Dr. Murad, I'll be right there.

  • They keep doing it even if there is a zero-g pool on the Argo.
• Yang will lampshade the silliness of the pirate lord "Grim Sybil's" moniker, and then really loses at "Lady Death", Sybil's old boss (and the meanest pirate in the Periphery). You can remark that pirates aren't exactly poets, or you can joke that MechWarrior callsigns aren't much better. Yang agrees, and then uses whatever your Commander's callsign is as an example of how silly they can be.
  • Alternatively, If you have a Pirate background you can snark at how some of the gangs you ran with had worse names.
  Yang: (dryly) One of these days you're going to have to tell us the full story of your past, Boss. Actually, forget it, I don't want to know.
• The flavour text for the Gamma Pod of the Argo mentions requests from crew members for not only the aforementioned swimming pool, but for a "Drop Ship-sized bouncy castle".
• The fact that the progressive achievements for cutting off an enemy 'Mech's arms and legs are "'Tis But a Scratch," "Just a Flesh Wound," "I'm Invincible," and "We'll Call It A Draw."
• Some of the briefings on bounties can be blackly amusing. Marina Liao could ask you to "add some live-fire exercises" to a Canopian military training drill, for example, or the Aurigan Restoration can claim that "Directorate forces have 'unpaid loans' (read: stolen) on military vehicles" and request that you teach them a lesson on unpaid debt by demolishing those vehicles (read:destroy them to deny them to the Directorate). Of particular note is one of the missions scenarios, where a scientist has clearly been double-crossing both sides of a conflict that she is involved in, and Darius quips about the amount of double-dealing going on.
  • One of the missions from the pirates has them using a bunch of euphemisms, talking about how they have a friend who's being looked after by the state, but decided she wanted to leave and needs a ride. Darius points out that the pirates don't need to obfuscate their intentions for a prison break and wishes they would stop.
  • A different pirate mission will have you enforce a protection racket. They'll word it as if they're insurance salesmen, and Darius is befuddled why the pirates don't just come out and tell the mercenaries they're hiring that they want a lance of mechs destroyed.
  • Yet another pirate mission asks you to get a patrol's attention by 'doing something loud and fatal' to them. Darius comments that he likes the phrase 'Loud and Fatal' enough to want it on a plaque.
• One of the random encounters involves being held up by pirates in space, with one of the options being to stall with them until help can arrive. Choosing this option results in the player character feigning ignorance over whether the bank code they're supposed to send toll money to has a O or a 0, much to the pirate's very vocal frustration.
• The timing for your units making post-shot radio calls can result in one of your Mechwarriors calling "target eliminated!" on an enemy 'mech that appears to be very much alive...only for an ammo explosion to destroy the enemy 'Mech a moment later. Also, when performing a physical attack, a mech will fire its support weapons (flamers, machine guns, and small lasers) after performing the physical. This can sometimes lead to one of your mechs punching an enemy to death, then firing a small laser that misses and morosely report that they've "failed to damage the target."
• In the game each pilot has a random voice profile assigned to them (except ronin and kickbackers who have a fixed voice profile) many have amusing radio call outs. These not only include comical versions of take downs, multi-shots, Massive Damage done, light/heavydamage taken, using jumpjets, losing armor, falling over and being incapacitated but also uniquely at the start of each mission they may make very non-sequitur comments somewhat related to the biome the lance is fighting in.
  I LEAP! I SOAR!
  Do you think we’ll see bears?!
• On the flip side, a different pilot's voice is a complete The Eeyore and delivers every single line in the tone of downcast, resigned snark.
  This reminds me of my childhood. *beat* I hated my childhood.
  This place is... Picturesque.
• Yet another voice seems to be made of this, with comments ranging from movie references to this gem
  Day 312 my teammates still have no idea I'm a Labrador
• Any weapon strike to the head deals damage to the pilot. This includes striking the head with the non-damaging TAG targeting laser, presumably by striking the MechWarrior in the eye and giving them a hernia.
• Idle 'Mechs regularly swivel their torso back and forth as if scanning their surroundings. It gets hilarious when they suddenly turn to look at the allied 'Mech in the hex next to theirs right as enemy fire blows it apart, giving the scene an epic Oh, Crap! feeling.
  • Another thing they can do is swivel to look at an enemy that had just attacked them but missed every shot, in an implied, indignant Death Glare.
  • Or they turn to look at a nearby allied 'Mech a precisely timed moment after its destruction. There's a host of thoughts that could be going through their mind, ranging from "poor dude" to "What an idiot" to "This Is Gonna Suck".
• Anything connected to stability damage can be a source of fun. Unstable 'Mechs often sway violently as if the pilot is completely sloshed. Some 'Mechs (especially the ones introduced in update 1.8 and Heavy Metal) have exaggerated falling-down animations that border on Slap Stick comedy. Conversely, bracing a 'Mech makes them assume a more stable stance that can veer into an amusing Bring It pose.
• Some Flashpoints basically exist to bring some levity into a fairly grim game.
  • "Bourbon & Battlemechs" has one drop that revolves around destroying a Bad Guy Bar protected by two hostile lances designated Belligerent Drunks and Hostile Inebriates. Many of its descriptions and dialogues also pile on the Dark Humor.
  • "Extracurricular Activities" is darkly funny for its background - your House Steiner liaison sends you on a mission that includes killing a whole lot of people to humiliate the son of his chief rival, just so he can gloat to his heart's content the next time they meet in the Lyran Decadent Court.
  • "One Man's Trash" is given by an absolute amateur of a scavenger. First off, the guy is so technically inept that his holo-vid avatar is a parrot with giant sunglasses instead of his face because he can't figure out how to change it. Then he sends you to secure a Star League stapler factory (to be fair, there is a market for 300-year old desk ornaments). The final mission consists of saving him from two other scavenger/mercenary bands he sent to the factory before you under false pretenses. Your crew has a lot of amusing things to say about these events as they unfold.
    Yang: So what you're saying is that you hired us to rob a vault from under your own contractor, whom you hired to take down your OTHER contractor, BOTH of whom are holding you ransom for a treasure that doesn't exist.
    Ed Corbu: It sounds so bad when you put it that way! Look, I'm the victim here!
  • "Contest of Champions" goes straight into funny territory with your Cloud Cuckoo Lander of an 'employer', a crazed pirate named Professor Mencius Horvat who is in love with his own coat, employs an alleged "man-monster" named "Calamar Gigante" and forces everyone who participates in his tournament to drive nothing but stock Urbanmechs.
• Your Kurita mercenary liaison Shugo Reynauld Yamaguchi is, like all liaisons, a powerful person way above your pay grade. Your crew calls him Bob. To his face. And he actually likes it.
• In the "Training Day" side mission, one of the rookie mechwarriors you're escorting might scream "I love the smell of coolant in the morning!" only for one of the others to say "Coolant is toxic. If you can smell it, you're probably going to die."

  Trainee: W-wait, really? Because I do smell something..."

  • Adding to the black humor is the fact that earlier novels and lore of the franchise established 'mech coolant was, A: partly composed of mercury, so said pilot would have been enjoying a good whiff of mercury vapor, and B: caustic enough that getting it on your skin would result in chemical burns nasty enough to require immediate hospitalization, so his feelings about the smell would be the exact opposite of “love”.
• In the "Showing the Flag" side mission, you have to escort a VIP in a Griffin who takes the place of one of your normal mechwarriors and mechs during an engagement with a hostile lance. Everyone in your command staff will get on the radio once the mission starts to let you know just how useless they expect her to be in the fight. She immediately points out that she's on the same channel as they are, only for them to ignore her complaints and still talk about how she's really not likely to be all that good. She ends up wondering if her radio is even transmitting.
• One of the factions might give you a contract to drop and support one of their lances. The leader of the allied lance, Agamemnon, insists he doesn't need your help, his crew's got this, and you can just dust off and collect your pay. He then cuts you out of comms completely. The first enemy lance is likely to not be much of a challenge. The second might be a bit more so. Then a third enemy lance shows up, and Agamemnon is at something of a loss (note that your crew notices the reinforcements a full turn before he does, and tried to inform him, but he's essentially put you on mute).
• You might come across one of your MechWarriors asking Yang to install a "B A eleven hundred N" in their 'Mech, because another MechWarrior told them it would greatly improve stability. You can ask for one yourself, watch things play out, or inform your pilot they're being pranked. Watch it play out, and Yang hands over the proper requisition form. The MechWarrior gets to the N in "BA1100N" before realizing what's going on, at which point Yang will state "We only have red ones. That okay?"
  • Asking for one yourself is great as well, as it leaves Yang gobsmacked. He has to stand there blinking for a good half minute before giving in and agreeing to equip both 'Mechs with BA-1100-N equipment. This delights the MechWarrior who initiated the request, and you hang out with your wingmate, swapping stories while you wait for the work to be done (which has the effect of giving them the High Spirits condition for a month). The next day, you head to the Mechbay... and find both 'Mechs equipped with cheery red balloons.
• Given the <Insert Faction Here> nature of the mission-generation templates sometimes it's perfectly possible to bug out and have factions hire your unit against themselves. Amusingly, those who know enough about the setting's lore might actually find that rather fitting, especially given certain factions. An uncaught bug in one of the mission templates also means you may encounter an enemy Darius lance, which is even funnier given the memes about Darius trying to get you killed because of pre-mission enemy strength reports being proven wrong in-mission and dialogue delays causing him to warn about enemy contact after they've already shot at you.
• Your entire crew is sassy, but Yang has some of the lowest filters and will make his opinions known, including comments on the stupidity of your decisions or those of your enemies.
  Yang: Anyone who sends their VIP out in a Cicada deserves to get shot.
  • Yang's reaction to being told of a mission to steal a virus that scrambles Battlemech computer functions...in short, getting paid to download it off the source servers into your 'Mech in the middle of a combat operation:
    Yang: You're going to do what with my Battlemechs.
  • In the campaign, Yang will take the piss out of your choice of callsign as a way to point out that Mechwarriors are generally not eloquent folk. He will then turn around and sign into the pirate black market servers as "Angry Yang" or "Ironbeard" without so much as a Hypocrisy Nod.