Funny / MechWarrior

Mechwarrior 2

• The instructor in the tutorial missions is full of this.
  “Feel free to approach the targets if you find them difficult to hit. Your secret is safe with me: I will not tell a single soul of your incompetence, trust me.”
  “You have successfully demonstrated the ability to do what I tell you to do. My dog does what I tell him to do. I like my dog. Perhaps I should introduce you to each other. Remind me to do that.”
  “Out there at Nav Alpha is a drone mech. It is not fast and it has outdated weapons. Nonetheless it is dangerous to fleshy-headed mutants like yourself.”
  “You drive a mech like a laborer.”
• The cheat to disable overheating is “freebirthtoad.”
• Quitting the game in the PC version has the program asking you if you want to “embrace cowardice.”
• Your mech’s targeting computer is able to identify buildings and their contents. Needless to say, this is ample room for some amusing Easter eggs.
  • “Fasty-mart” contains “Yummy treats.”
  • “The House That Jack Built” contains “Jack.”
  • “Geisha House” contains “use your imagination.”
  • “Oh Just A Building.”
  • “Do Not Shoot.”
  • “Jail” contains “bad people.”
  • “Activision” contains the company’s now defunct contact information. (Destroying this building causes your mech to explode!)

Mechwarrior 3

• One from 3.
  Captain Taylor: "But whether you're here or not we'll clear Tranquil before the incoming Smoke Jaguars get in our way. I'm sorry but that's the way it has to be. If it comes to that, dig a deep hole and hide yourselves in it. I'm sure we'll be back for you."
  Dominic "Gunner" Paine: "I'll dig him a hole. Dig it and throw his *Radio static*
  Thomas Sorenson: "Let's try not to make things harder than it already is, all right, Gunner?"
  • And one regarding the mission to take what's left from the Black Hammer's wreckage.
  Allen: Keith made it?! How close? Can he drop some of those [Arrow IV] artillery missiles of his on the convoy for us?
  Gunner: Tech check, Allen. None of us are outfitted with a TAG spotting laser. Without it, Keith is about as accurate as the field base in predicting Clanner moves. No offense.
  Thomas: None-taken, Gunner. I appreciate the vote of confidence.
  • From the Pirate's Moon expansion, the word "dysfunctional" doesn't even begin to describe the "New Belt" pirate lance...
  Scourge: Okay, gimme your ears! This mission is a surgical strike, not a chainsaw massacre. Get me?! Stick to their power sources for now, mop-up comes later.
  Trey: Sure, sure. Focus on the primary objective, no problem.
  Deuce: We heard the briefing, Scourge. Just let us do our jobs.
  Scourge: Fair enough but be advised I will tear you a new one if you bullocks this mission. That's all.
  Trey: Jeeze, I get a little rowdy on leave and wind with the Lance Leader from hell!
  Scourge: Zip it, Trey! You ain't even close to hell yet, don't make me rush your trip!
  • Trey gets in on some humorous snarking with Deuce's commentary.
  One-Eye Ryan: Attention all units this is Captain Ryan, the enemy force has been repelled. Our base is secure. Nicely done, people.
  Scourge: Maybe this time they'll learn not to mess with us.
  Deuce: Right... And maybe I'll use my 'Mech to deliver ice cream someday but not today.
  Trey: You'll probably be better at delivering ice cream, Deuce.
  Deuce: Shut up, Trey!
  • The addition of Connor Sinclair's characterization for Pirate's Moon also adds some snarking to the surviving, experienced Damocles Commando.
  Connor: I'd like to think this is going to be a milk run but...
  Epona: But you're a sensible man with an IQ above his waistline and realize that the pirates have been anything but predictable.
  Connor: Close enough, Epona. Close enough.
  • Once Allen Matilla rejoins your lance for the first time...
  Allen: Got room for me on this trip, Lieutenant?
  Connor: Glad you could make it, Allen.
  Epona: Nice paint job on your ride, Allen! Blast marks and primer, it's so... You!
  Allen: Love you too, Epona! [mwah] Wide hips an' all!
  Epona: What?! What did you say?!
  Connor: Alright, that's enough. Move out.
  • Just before the penultimate Light Horse mission after Gunner rejoined your lance.
  Connor: Damocles One to all units: Enemy 'Mech presence has been eliminated. Secure from alert status.
  Corona C.O.: This is Corona Base. Don't stray too far. If I were the pirate commander, I'd be moving against your position right now while you're weak.
  Allen: Everyone else ready for round two?
  Gunner: "Join the army, see the galaxy!" What the hell was I thinking?
  • Allen takes the title of the pirates a bit too literally and acts like their ancient naval counterparts.
  Allen: Pirate 'Mechs ahoy!
  Epona: I don't believe you just said that...
  Connor: Never mind what he said. Get to work, you two.
  Allen: Man the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!
  Allen: Arrh! Stand an' deliver!
  Epona: Give it up already!

Mechwarrior 4: Mercenaries

• Duncan Fisher's "off the wall" commentary from MechWarrior 4: Mercenaries is one of the biggest reasons some people go to Solaris VII.
  • There's the blatant "Madden style" stating of the obvious...
  Duncan Fisher: When the reactor goes, that's usually a sign you've taken too much damage!
  • ...and here's some the tasteful verbal spice to your kills.
  Duncan Fisher: Whoa! That kid was on fire down there! Of course, now he's literally on fire!
  Duncan Fisher: Welcome to Solaris! Now, let me show you the sky! That's two for Spectre and two ejected pilots who'll be watching from the sidelines.
  • Fisher occasionally adds humorous substance to the Solaris lore during the lulls between player eliminations. Some of them have to do with the Solaris celebrity news. Others have to do with... the irresistible addiction of watching Solaris matches.
  Duncan Fisher: Look at them go! Man I love this game. It has my favorite things! 'Mechs, big guns, and a whole lot of explosions. You know my wife sometimes looks at me strangely. "Duncan," she says, "there's more to life than Solaris." Frankly, it's like she speaks another language. I mean, the words make sense individually, but put them together and it's complete nonsense.
  Duncan Fisher: Couple of years ago, the post season matches got extended two months. I think it was to keep Solaris addicts like me happy, heh, or to make Solaris widows more miserable.
  • It gets even better when you listen to the bloopers.
  George Ledoux: "Take them out of an Atlas and stick 'em in a Camaro, I bet they'll learn a lot about humility!" We should put that in there, see if anyone notices. "I have no weapons! *explosion noises*". ^note The original line was about taking the big league MechWarriors out of their Atlas and sticking them in something like a Chimera to teach them humility.
  George Ledoux: "First time they fire that monster [presumably referring to a Gauss Rifle or some other 'Mech BFG], you can bet some pilots panic!" Hahahahaha! I read that one.
  George Ledoux: You know if Specter put on a little deer stalker hat and a pipe, he'd look really cute. What do you think, fans?
  • Uncensored takes have also been found.
  George Ledoux: That 'mech is anatomically correct. That's not a Gauss Rifle, folks.
  George Ledoux: "My microphone's up my ass! I sat down on it too hard!" [laughter] "I'm trying to pry it out!"
  • George introduces new, equally humorous lines for Living Legends' Solaris Arena mode and even some blooper lines bleed into the game.
  Duncan Fisher upon a player purchasing a Light 'Mech: My hat's off to the pansy boys in the Light 'Mechs. Way to go, Light 'Mechs!
  Duncan Fisher upon a player purchasing an asset that's meant for/requires friendly support: To bring that onto the field, you need to be incredibly skilled or crazy. Safe guess is that guy's off his meds.
  Duncan Fisher upon a Stackpole: Those of you wearing rad meters should check them now.
  Duncan Fisher after an expensive asset is taken out: I wonder if he knows just how expensive that three minutes was.
• Also in Mercenaries, your 'mech will sometimes do the monkey after a successful match. Yes, your 'Mech can dance. This is due to the fact the game doesn't assign any unique AI actions for your 'mech sometimes, thus if you turn as player control is taken away for the cutscene, your 'mech will keep turning on it's own.

Mechwarrior Online

• During the Community Warfare Beta for MechWarrior: Online, a strange little incident occurred on the week of January 11th, 2015, when the Free Worlds League/House Marik took over the Draconis Combine/House Kurita planet of Moore. How is it strange? That's because it shouldn't be possible as FWL is sperated from the DC by House Davion one side, and Steiner on the other, and in Community Warfare, attacks only go along your faction's borders. The FWL attacked anyways, took it over, absolutely stunning House Kurita, as they thought it was originally their Galactic Eastward neighbors of Steiner attacking them, only to see a faction that shouldn't even be there now holding a part of space. The sheer audacity, and hilarity caused by this Good Bad Bug started this thread as everyone tries to make sense as to what happened.
  House Steiner Player: We'd stop them, but we have no idea how they did it in the first place. The only thing left is to bow to the god-like Mariks."
  • Even better, the Kurita forces decided to not take back Moore, and declared Moore a Marik Embassy, as Marik declared they'd use Moore as a staging point to help Kurita attack Steiner, and pending a deal with Kurita, take over planets northward to begin attacking Clan held territories. Players from both sides also joked they'd exchange traditional dishes of each faction with each other, with Kurita promising Sushi, and Marik promising variously cooked bacon.
• In MechWarrior Online, the fans are finally getting the infamous UrbanMech. Yes, the "R2D2 with a gun" / "walking trashcan" Light 'Mech that moves slower than even Assault 'Mechs (with the stock engine, its speed is a glacial 32.4 KPH, while most Assaults start at 48 KPH), but mounts either an LBX-10, AC/10, or AC/20 as stock (depending on variant). For extra hilarity, the collector's edition pre-order paint scheme concept art is adorned with graffiti referencing various fandom memes and in-jokes.
  LBX-10 Barrel: "Say that to my face Clanner, not at range, and see what happens!"
  Hip/Waist joint: "They called me slow. ONCE."
  Right Leg: "GO TIME!"
  Left Leg: "Clan Mechs? Everywhere? GOOD!"
  Left Arm: What matter wounds? For each time he falls, he shall rise again, and woe to the wicked.
  • And now there's this.
    • for April's fools 2015 we got this.
  • For that matter, the UrbanMech's cockpit is a comedy goldmine all by itself. For example:
    • Half of it is held together by judicious use of duct tape (and there are rolls of the thing tucked into every conceivable cranny).
    • There are repair request slips tacked onto several instruments.
    • One of the screens is out of order, and is covered up with a sheet of paper with "no signal detected" scrawled on it.^ExplainationDuring the beta and early years of the game, most of the screens inside of the mechs did nothing and just displayed "No Signal Detected", while Piranha Games decided they wanted the screens to convey combat information, or just be a decoration. The decision was put on the back burner for a few years while they went about fixing and improving the rest of the game.
    • There's an inexplicable box of radioactive material just lying out in the open.
    • Several liquid tanks are slotted into the console. Respectively, they contain water, nitrous oxide, and caffeine.
    • And to top this all off, the cockpit also has an analog speed dial, with sticky notes at both ends. The lower end says "Slow". The upper end says "Less slow".
• Youtuber and Twitch streamer TheB33f spends his time creating hilarious builds of different 'Mechs, and pulling ridiculous stunts in-game.
  • This hilarious build of a Daishi W made by TheB33f. Fifteen Clan ER Large Lasers. Performing an Alpha Strike with them can instantly take down another Daishi but you instantly lose your arms, side torsi and center torso doing so, since you have to override the shutdown to keep the lasers firing. The result is impractical, yes but it's both amazing and hilarious.
  • A similar setup when he built one with eleven Clan ERPPCs was just as flashy but only results in minor damage from shutdown and, hilariously, breaks the heat gauge that it always displays 100% even after cooling down.
    • TheB33f succinctly describes the Direstar build:
  TheB33f: You might think that this build is terrible, but the Direstar isn't about being good. It's about sending a message.
  • 12v12 stock Urbanmechs, anyone? And then, as B33f lampshades, "I had a few drinks and things got dumb really fast."
  • An entire invading/defending company made up of Atlas' which turns out to be surprisingly effective (unless you're Steiner then that's no surprise at all).
  • 12 Gauss Rifle King Crabs, defending a base. Result? Total annihilation of the enemy team. All four waves of it. No casualties.
  • You know you're dealing with some seriously unaware pilots when they don't notice the Uller behind them (or on top of them!) shooting down their missile salvos.
    Betty: Warning: incoming missiles.
    TheB33f: I have triple AMS, f*** you!
    • His attempt to perform a Death from Above... When he was in a 30 ton Uller vs. an 85 ton BattleMaster and one of his legs was already destroyed. Making his cause of death "Falling Damage" when it took out the other leg.
    TheB33f (in-game chat): only theb33f kills theb33f
  • Long Tom Suicide Squad. The Long Tom artillery targets the densest group of enemy 'Mechs? Take 4 of the fastest Lights you can get, clump them together right in the middle of the enemy team, then get the hell out when you see purple smoke. Result? Enemy team dead by their own artillery!
  • Flamer Nova, a Black Hawk Prime loaded with six Flamers in the Left Arm and six Small Pulse Lasers in the Right Arm which is enough to destroy the Head in a single burst. The strategy being to overheat the enemy and then go in for the kill once they shutdown. Sometimes the Flamers themselves are enough as one unfortunate Masakari pilot overrode the shutdown and melted before TheB33F could finish him.
  • TheB33f proves that, with enough camo work, you can make yourself invisible. It's almost comical how often he gets away with being ignored or otherwise unnoticed by entire lances who Failed a Spot Check, let alone killing three larger 'Mechs in one fell swoop when their backs are turned.
• All Systems Nominal is a series of animations based on MechWarrior Online made by NoGutsNoGalaxyTV member, PLEXI that features all sorts of Fandom Nods, name based gags and general silliness that humanizes the 'mechs themselves rather than the mechwarriors piloting them.

Mechwarrior 5

• If you do accidentally damage the structures you're supposed to be protecting in a Defense mission, particularly by crashing through them, your client will sometimes get on the radio to insult you at length for your gaffe, culminating in calling you "reckless Immortal Warrior-loving sons-of-bitches."
• The physics engine sometimes has a field day when a 'Mech is destroyed, like so. Particularly hard hits can sometimes cause 'Mechs to backflip. Amusingly, catastrophic ammunition explosions occasionally produce much more entertaining results than just an explosion.
• One of the Pilots you can hire is wearing an old Neurohelmet. Old here meaning from the original sourcebooks and looks like a cross between Abe Lincoln's Stovepipe hat and Galactus' helmet.
• The sixth DLC is Solaris, which means Duncan Fisher is back. An unfortunate Jake Mason is roped into helping the inept commentator climb the Solaris ladders, playing the long-suffering Straight Man to Duncan's Wise Guy.
  • At one point, annoyed with Duncan, Mason complains he's getting too old for this. These missions take place in mid 3041, a full twenty-six years after the campaign canonically starts. Mason was already an adult in 3015, meaning he's in his mid-to-late forties at the youngest. He really is getting too old for this.