Funny / Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

• That epic rumble between the five rival newscaster groups, followed by Ron and his friends casually discussing it over beer.
  Ron: Boy...that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
  Champ: It jumped up a notch.
  Ron: It did, didn't it?
  Brick: Yeah. I stabbed a man in the heart.
  Ron: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
  Brick: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
  Ron: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close-by; lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
  • And then there's the set-up to the fight, with stuff like:
    Ron: Brick, where'd you get a hand grenade?
    Brick: (deadpan) I don't know.
  • Then, when the battle starts, Brick just awkwardly walks through the chaos holding the grenade at arms length and giving one long sustained yell. It makes his inexplicable aim with a trident all the funnier.
  • In a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, Brian trips on his own two feet just as the news teams advance into the fight. It's such an unexpected moment that breaks up the momentum of the scene, such that once you notice it, it leaves you dying of laughter
• Brick has some of the best lines period. "I ate a big red candle" is just the beginning.
  • "I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!" [...] "LOUD NOISES!"
  • "I heard their periods attract bears. The bears can smell the menstruation."
  • The Lame Comeback to end all lame comebacks: "Hey! Where did you get those clothes, at the toilet store?" Especially since it sounds like it should be an insult, but clearly isn't.
  • "I love lamp." Made even funnier by Ron responding in an almost parental tone.
  Ron: Do you really love the lamp or are you just saying that because you saw it.
  Brick: (hesitates) I love lamp! I... love lamp.
  • While riding a bear: "I'm riding a big furry tractor!"
  • All of Brick's potential lines the morning after the party.
  "I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava."
  "I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said. (Winces) My stomach itches."
  "I pooped a hammer."
  "I pooped a tape recorder."
  • And in response to Champ claiming to have shit out a live squirrel. "Oh, sorry Champ. I think I ate your chocolate squirrel."
• Brick (at Brian's urging) inviting Veronica to "the pants party." Poor Brick clearly has no idea what's he's doing.
  Veronica: Excuse me?
  Brick: The... party. With pants. ...party with pants?
  Veronica (as it dawns on her): Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
  Brick (innocently): That's it!
  Veronica: Hm. Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
  Brick: (shaking his head) Hahahayes.
  Veronica (gently): Okay. No, I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
  Brick: Very well. Ian. Would you like to go to a party in my pants?
  Ian (quietly): ...no, Brick.
• Ron's conversation with Veronica on their date, about the founding of the city.
  "They named it "Sahn Dee-ahgo", which, of course, is German for "a whale's vagina".
• "I love Scotch. Scotchy Scotch Scotch."
  • "Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!"
  • "Scotchy Scotch Scotch" is now the name of a Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor released to tie into the sequel (it's butterscotch with butterscotch swirl).
• The jazz flute solo. "Hey, Aqualung!"
  • "Really, I hadn't planned for this!" Pulls flute out of his sleeve.
  • Ron popping under the door of a bathroom stall during his solo, with the occupant looking only mildly surprised.
• At the start of the movie, Ron warms up by doing some tongue-twisters like "How now, brown cow" and "Unique New York." These grow increasingly silly, culminating in lines such as "The arsonist has oddly-shaped feet" and "The Human Torch is denied a bank loan."
  • And, in a deleted scene, "The skeleton ran out of shampoo in the shower."
  • Also, he asks for the name of an offscreen coworker he doesn't know, and his baffled reaction? "Lanolin? L-l-lanolin, like, like sheep's wool?"
• The infamous Sex Panther cologne (rowrr!). It's quite pungent.
  • "It stings the nostrils ... I'm going to be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline."
  • And 60% of the time, it works every time.
    Ron: (tentatively nodding in agreement): Mmmm... that doesn't make sense.
  • "It smells like a used diaper filled with Indian food!"
    "Desire smells like that to some people."
  • "It smells like Bigfoot's dick!"
  • And it's so strong that it sets off the fire alarm in any room it's in, requiring the user to be hosed down.
    "This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier!"
  • In one deleted scene, a passer-by at the zoo says "It smells like the inside of a fake leg."
  • And from an outtake, that funny motorized box the Sex Panther is contained in malfunctions, and Brian says that it cost $13,000. Ron asks if he can return it, but Brian then says he got it black market.
• "Tickets to the gun show."
• "Mister Burgundy, you have a massive erection!"
  "Don't act like you're not impressed!"
• "And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego."
  • Ron being perfectly chipper afterwards, literally not having a clue what he just did.
  • Garth Holliday's emotional response to it.
    Garth: You were my hero Ron! Why'd you have to say that? You come out and stink like that. You poop- you poopmouth, with poop out of your mouth!
    Ron: Garth, if I would give you some money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain?
    Garth: I HATE YOU RON BURGUNDY! I HATE YOU! (storms off)
• IT'S SO DAMN HOT! MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE!
• " NEWS TEAM... ASSEMBLE!"
  • They're right next to him, offscreen, playing pool. Literally, you can see them in the background of the previous shots.
  • The flawless melodrama of Ron and the team making peace made hilarious only by Brick being... well, Brick.
  Brian: "I mean, think about what you're askin', man!"
  Brick: (incomprehensible gibberish that sounds vaguely like "I mean, think about what you're asking, man!")
  • And the scene's punchline.
  Ron: "To the newsvan!"
  Brian and Champ: "To the newsvan!"^note Brick: "Okay!"
• The News Team fighting the bears.
• The news team's Vox Pops self-introductions, with Brian and Champ describing their respective debaucherous, perverted lifestyles followed by Brick discussing his squeaky clean, lamer-than-lame one. All spoken as he's spooning mayonnaise into a toaster.
  "Hello. People like me because I am polite and I'm rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will claim that I have an IQ of 48 and am, what some call, mentally retarded."
  • Champ: "Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off." Guess where Ron is working after getting fired from GWN in the sequel?
  • A deleted version of Champ's introduction shows all of the people who enjoy his "WHAMMY!" catchphrase, which include a bride who screams at as he's banging her on the other side of the door from her groom and the priest at his father's funeral.
  Priest: (solemnly) "Your father was a good man. (Beat) By the way... whammy."
  (Champ nods in solemn appreciation)
• "I'M IN A GLASS CAGE OF EMOTION!!"
• "I IMMEDIATELY REGRET THIS DECISION."
• Champ share his emotions a little too much as he makes his case against Ron and Veronica dating:
  Champ Kind: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News Team.
  Ron Burgundy: That's a given.
  Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much! I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh!
  [laugh's playfully and pulls on Ron's sleeve]
  Champ Kind: I miss your scent.
  [Composes himself, becomes serious]
  Champ Kind: I miss your musk... When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!
  Brian Fantana: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?
  Ron Burgundy: Maybe sit the next couple plays out.
  • Brian backs him up by saying that Brick can't sleep at night, to which Brick, cheerful as always, grins and raises the banana he's munching on in acknowledgment.
• In the bear pit:
  Veronica: In case we die here today, there's something that you should know. That dirty trick with the Teleprompter, it wasn't-
  Ron: Sweet Eli Whitney's nose! It wasn't you, was it? It was Wes Mantooth. Oh, I should have known.
  Veronica: No, no. No, I did it.
  Ron: YOU BITCH!
• During the credits, one of the deleted scenes has Ron asking Brick if he'll be holding another celebrity golf tournament. Brick declines, and nonchalantly explains because "too many people died last year", so he won't be doing it again. There is such a thing as an acceptable number of deaths at a golf tournament.
  • Then Steve Carell immediately breaks into laughter.
• "YOU ARE A SMELLY PIRATE HOOKER." "YOU LOOK LIKE A BLUEBERRY!" "WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND?!"
  • "Well, you have bad hair."
• Ed Harken constantly on the phone as his son's troubles become increasingly ridiculous ("My son was on something called 'acid' and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. You know how kids are!")
  • "I have no idea where he could've gotten a hold of German pornography. But let's be reasonable... We're both adults, I'm sure we've both seen our fair share of pornographic material. (Beat) Oh, you never have? Of course not, neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities."
  • "Look Chris, just put the gun down and let the marching band go on. We'll write it off as a prank!"
• "I'm Ron Burgundy?"
  "Dammit! Who typed a question mark on the teleprompter?!"
• A deleted scene while Ron is still depressed over losing his job. His phone rings, he picks it up, but no one answers. Ron becomes angry and tells the caller on the other line to either talk or leave him alone. We cut to the caller: the panda bear from the Pleasure Town sequence.
• The scene where Ron and Veronica insult each other right after the newscast, since their mics have been muted so the audience can't hear it. The stuff they say is hilarious - it gets even funnier in the outtakes when Will Ferrell makes Christina Applegate burst out laughing.
  "I'm gonna shoot you in the back of the head with a BB gun when you're not looking, that's what I'm gonna do."
• Baxter's conversation with the bear, communicated in subtitles.
• The Cross Promotional campaign of Ron Burgundy promoting the 2014 Dodge Durango. Highlights include the commercials "It Comes Standard", "Gumball Machine" (both these two ads promote the glove box), "Ballroom Dancers", "Lie in Wait" (which continues from "Ballroom Dancers"), and "Do-dge".
• Veronica's response to being called "Tits McGee" by the announcer (who Ron had bribed). Doubles as a Moment of Awesome, as she manages to hold her cool in the face of such egregious sexism.
  *without missing a beat* "Good evening, I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation."
  • Even funnier and more awesome is Ron, thrown off by his failed prank, almost calling himself Tits McGee immediately afterwards.
    "And I'm Tits... I mean, Ron Burgundy."
• "You're not Ron..."
  • The fact that Brick is perfectly static (to the point that it can look like the movie is glitching) as he says this.
• This line from the Pleasure Town sequence:
  Ron: Look! The most glorious rainbow ever!
  Veronica: Oh! Do me on it!
• After their hook-up, Ron promises to keep quiet about his and Veronica's relationship. Gilligan Cut to Ron at the office...
  "VERONICA CORNINGSTONE AND I HAD SEX AND NOW WE ARE IN LOOOOOOVE!!!"
  • The team ask Ron what love is like, and Ron, at a loss for words... starts singing the '70s cheese classic "Afternoon Delight." Cue all four men spontaneously breaking into four-part acapella harmony through to the first chorus, pausing for a moment to tell Ron that he sounds like he has mental problems ("...man."), then concluding with one more "Afternoon delight!" before immediately turning their attention back to their work.
  • Brian's "love" story.
  Brian: "I think I was in love once.
  Ron: "Really? What was her name?"
  Brian: (Beat) "I don't remember."
  Ron: (still interested) That's not a good start, but... but keep going!
  Brian: (wistfully) "She was Brazilian... or Chinese, or sum'thin weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K Mart, and we made out for hours, then we parted ways never to see each other again."
  Ron: "I'm pretty sure that's not love."
  Brian: (disappointed) "Dammit!"
  • Brick, as usual, being a little behind the curve.
  Champ: "What's it like, Ron?"
  Ron: "The intimate times? Outta sight, my man!"
  (Brian tactfully closes the office door.)
  Brian: "No, not that. The other thing. Love."
  Brick: "Yeah, what is that?"
  [[...]]
  Ron: "You really wanna know what love is?"
  Champ: "Yeah..."
  Brian: "Yes! Tell us!"
  Brick: "More than anything the world, Ron."
• "I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out to a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again!"
  • "Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!"
  • Ron, in a rare instance of rationality, telling them to "leave the mothers out of this."
• In Wake Up Ron Burgundy, Amy Poehler plays a bank teller who gets held up by the Alarm Clock, and then refuses to take them seriously, instead calling them out over how incoherent whatever their message is. Specifically, the fact that the masks they're hiding their faces with are Abraham Lincoln (Paul Hauser), Richard Nixon (Helen), a werewolf (Kanshasha X) and nothing (Malcolm Y). When asked if the werewolf mask is supposed to signify that the Alarm Clock are bloodthirsty killers, Hauser replies that they're actually pacifists, and she points out that that's not a smart thing to say to someone you're trying to rob. Ironically, the fact that Malcolm is the only one who doesn't give a shit about being identified actually comes off as a little intimidating, and she ends up willingly giving him some money for the effort, while telling the other three to beat it.
• Also from Wake Up Ron Burgundy:
  Ron: Brick, what are you eating?
  Brick: Oh, it is one of those delicious falafel hot dogs with cinnamon and bacon on top.
  Ron: What do you mean "one of those?" Those don't exist... that's a used coffee filter with cigarette butts on it.

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