Fanfic / A Dash of Logic

So what if SpongeBob's most infamous episodes made some semblance of sense?

A Dash of Logic is a multi-part SpongeBob SquarePants Original Flavor Fix Fic written by WDGHK. Episodic in nature, it rewrites the most despised episodes from the show's run and reworks them into being more humorous, in-character and sensible (or at least as sensible you can get with SpongeBob SquarePants). As the title implies, the catalyst for each one going down a different path than its canon counterpart is one or multiple characters making more sensible decisions than they originally did when dealing with the episode's conflict.

As to be expected, many Karma Houdini characters get hit with Laser-Guided Karma, while Butt Monkeys tend to come out on top. But that's not the only purpose of this fic, as the author also takes great lengths to emulate the tone and comedy of the show, as well as to make previously blasé episodes more creative and engaging, resulting in some of them escalating into very strange places.

It covers 25 episodes, and also has a spin-off in the form of the four-part Squidward, You're Fired.

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A Dash of Logic contains examples of:

• Adaptational Mundanity: Happens in “WhoBob WhatPants?”, since the inciting incident in the original largely hinged on plot holes, contrivances and characters acting out of character, with the alternate version amounting to just SpongeBob going through his morning routine and mundanely interacting with the supporting characters (sans Sandy). He does hug Gary too tightly again but instead of shattering the latter’s shell, he shatters his own arms instead (which he immediately regrows), and he does ruin the cake Patrick baked for his mother’s birthday again, but immediately buys him a new one and they make up, with Patrick eating said cake five seconds later after forgetting why he made a cake in the first place.
• Aesop Amnesia: Lampshaded at the end of “Squidward, You’re Fired”, where both Krabs and Squidward candidly admit that they learned nothing, and despite SpongeBob urging them to have an epiphany, they laugh it off and even give themselves three cheers for having learned squat, much to SpongeBob’s dismay. Somewhat justified in Squidward’s case, as he spent the whole story being a leeching hedonist who suffered no consequences, but given how Krabs watched his plan to put SpongeBob on double duty go up in flames and nearly lost his restaurant, he really has no excuse.
• All Just a Dream:
  • The ending of "Squid's Visit" reveals the event to have just been Squidward's paranoid dream. He still wakes up with SpongeBob and Patrick in bed with him, who wish him a happy birthday!
  • "Plankton's Regular" features the "virtual simulation" variety. After paying Nat to pretend to be Plankton's eponymous regular in order to distract Mr. Krabs, so she can sneak into the latter's home and steal the Krabby Patty formula, Karen finds out that the formula is a lie (as revealed in "Truth or Square") and runs a visual simulation inside her own mind where she sees Plankton going mad from the revelation, SpongeBob having a Cynicism Catalyst and turning into a copy of Squidward, and the Bikini Bottomites bringing the apocalypse to their town once they are deprived of the instant gratification of Krabby Patties. This makes her destroy her ill-gotten loot, to ensure that no one else will ever learn Krabs' lie, which is now holding their society together.
• Alternative Character Interpretation:
  • In-universe example in "Sponge Cano". After Cetos commits his Heroic Sacrifice, SpongeBob thinks he did it to save the Bikini Bottomites from suffering the same fate as his people, while Squidward thinks he simply lost his will to live. Cetos' dialogue implies it was a mixture of both.
  • “A Pal for Gary” shows that Gary considers SpongeBob to be his pet instead of vice versa. Given who the more mature and intelligent of the two is, it’s pretty justified.
  • Mr. Krabs is an anti-mammal bigot who tries to avoid Sandy at every turn and is more than willing to do her in just because she’s a mammal. It fits with Krabs' old-fashion attitude and explains why we don’t see them hang out too much.
  • Both this and Some Things Never Change show that, despite being a jobless deadbeat, Patrick manages to sustain himself by being a freeloader who leeches off SpongeBob and Squidward (without the latter's consent of course).
  • “Squid’s Visit” implies that Squidward’s reason for avoiding Sandy is because he’s scared of her, or more specifically, her tendency to play god with science. Especially after one of her inventions resulted in him and SpongeBob getting biologically fused, which has left him severely traumatized to this day. His dream version of her is (appropriately enough) a deranged, cackling Mad Scientist.
• Arch-Enemy: Mr. Krabs and Plankton, as per usual. Whenever they cross paths, both will gladly take any opportunity to ridicule and humiliate the other. Case in point, at the end of "Bummer Vacation", Plankton comes to the Krusty Krab not to steal the formula, but to take a picture of Mr. Krabs while the latter is in a demeaning position as SpongeBob's substitute.
• Ascended Extra: Played with, since they're all technically main characters in canon, but many of the chapters include Squidward, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and/or Gary (be it in major or minor roles) in episodes that they were originally absent from or only had a minor role. This was done to make better use of the show's vibrant cast and in Sandy's case, to address the common complaint regarding her being severely underused during the show's later seasons.
• Batman Gambit: Gary pulls one in "Squidward, You're Fired" when he sees how Squidward, Bubble Bass and Patrick are taking advantage of SpongeBob's generosity but the sponge can bring himself to say no. So, he sets himself up to be stepped on by Squidward, knowing SpongeBob, for all his niceness, would never tolerate anyone hurting his beloved pet. Sure enough, it works and SpongeBob flies into a rage and kicks his freeloaders out.
• Bratty Teenage Daughter: Pearl is this whenever she shows up in the fic. Best exemplified in "One Coarse Meal", where Karen has to pay her 50 bucks in order for Pearl to even bother coming to the Chum Bucket, and then another 50 bucks in order to get her to speak to Plankton and tell him that she wasn't chasing after him. She's not being reluctant because Plankton and his computer wife are her dad's enemies by the way, but rather because she thinks it would ruin her reputation at school if she was spotted in the company of (as she puts it) "old losers". And finally, before she leaves, she demands another 50 bucks from Karen, threatening to snitch on them to her father if the former does not oblige!
• The Cavalry Arrives Late: At the end of "A Pal for Gary", Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and (a very reluctant) Squidward arrive on a giant warship, heavily armed and ready to slay Puffy Fluffy! Except that Gary had already vanquished the monster.
• Compressed Vice: Averted in “One Coarse Meal”, where instead of Krabs suddenly having a fear of mimes (which was an act in canon anyway), Plankton instead captures and forces Krabs to watch as he destroys dollar bills. Of course, seeing money being harmed in any way is well-established as Krabs’s greatest fear in the show.
• Continuity Nod: Happens quite a bit, with characters frequently referencing past events, often in relation to them repeating past mistakes. The main plot of "Squid's Visit", for example, is heavily informed by the events of "SquidBob TentaclePants", and "Squidward, You're Fired" is effectively a double-length Spiritual Successor to "Can You Spare a Dime", as it involves a jobless Squidward mooching off SpongeBob once more.
• Cool and Unusual Punishment: In "One Coarse Meal", Plankton gives Krabs a taste of his own medicine by capturing the latter with his Humongous Mecha and subjecting him to his greatest fear: Seeing money being destroyed! Unsurprisingly, the hardened old sailor cracks and cries like a little girl.
• Cynicism Catalyst: Happens to SpongeBob in "Plankton's Regular", after learning that the Krabby Patty formula is a sham. This revelation breaks his child-like innocence and reduces him to a disillusioned Deadpan Snarker who is a terrible employee and rude to the customers, much to Squidward's delight, and the two start to bond. Fortunately, it was just a visual simulation by Karen.
• Deadpan Snarker: Squidward in spades, as to be expected.
  • Being the Only Sane Man, Sandy gets some good digs too.
  • As usual, Gary serves as the Silent Snarker to his clueless owner, most prominently in "Squidward, You're Fired".
  • And who can forget Karen, who gets to showcase her sardonic sense of humor in "One Coarse Meal".
• Didn't Think This Through: Happens to Mr. Krabs twice.
  • In "Bummer Vacation", he forces SpongeBob into taking a vacation due to legal reasons and hires Patrick as his replacement (who he is paying in pebbles). Unlike in the original, however, SpongeBob quickly starts enjoying his newfound freedom, as it gives him more time to do his many hobbies (jellyfishing, karate, walking Gary, etc.) while Patrick (being Patrick) proves to be an awful fry cook and productivity at the Krusty Krab drops instantly. He then tries to get SpongeBob to come back early from his vacation, and while he agrees after learning how much the business is failing, Sandy threatens to tell the Fry Cook Union about it. With little choice, Mr. Krabs reluctantly takes over fry cook duties in the meantime, to Squidward and Plankton's amusement.
  • In "Squidward, You're Fired", Krabs fires Squidward to save money and appoints SpongeBob as both the cashier and the fry cook. Unfortunately, being on double duty quickly taps SpongeBob out (on top of having to take care of a freeloading Squidward back home) and he keeps falling asleep on the job.
  • Quoted verbatim by Plankton in "Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy" after realizing that he had just recycled his failed plan from "Imitation Krabs".
• Downer Ending: Quite a few examples:
  • The biggest one is in "Demolition Doofus". There, Mrs. Puff's injury is permanent and SpongeBob can do nothing but tearfully beg her for her forgiveness, which Mrs. Puff does not grant him and she then kicks him out of her boating school and angrily yells at him to never come near her again or she will press charges, forcing him to run away in tears.
  • In "Squid Baby", SpongeBob and Sandy travel back in time to prevent the former's past self from causing Squidward to suffer the head injury that caused him to revert back to an infant. This somehow results in Squidward, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs all suffering head injuries and Sandy being stuck taking care of them. On top of that, they now live in a dystopian future where Man Ray rules over Bikini Bottom as a fascist dictator and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy have to hide in their basement.
  • "Pest of the West" ends with Dead Eye Plankton successfully stealing the deed to the Krusty Kantina and throwing SpongeBuck, William Krabs and Hopalong Tentacles out, all because SpongeBuck took pity on him earlier and unwittingly gave him the idea to build a giant steampunk robot to steal the deed. To make matters worse, we then learn that the three met Sandy's ancestor, Adalynn Cheeks, and volunteered to be test subjects for her experimental aquarium. They all died in the process.
  • At the end of "Truth or Square", Tom Kenny tries to quit his role as SpongeBob/Patchy after finally realizing that the Nickelodeon execs no longer care about maintaining any quality with their flagship show, but is then reminded that he has signed a contract that makes him Nickelodeon's legal property and gets strongarmed by a pair of "Human Resources" thugs into staying. The poor guy can do nothing but whimper in resignation.
• Driven to Suicide: The little robot aboard the Atlantean magical bus self-destructs after being subjected to the main characters' increasingly awful singing, with Sandy's song being The Last Straw.
• Everyone Has Standards:
  • Squidward might be insanely desperate to achieve even a modicum of success, but even he draws the line at selling out his dignity by impersonating his arch-rival Squilliam Fancyson and trying to mooch off his success. So he passes up his chance to teach a college music class in "Professor Squidward", which inadvertently leads to him getting another big win over Squilliam.
  • He might relish seeing SpongeBob and Patrick in pain, but even he is utterly horrified being witness to the graphic facelift producer that they had to undergo to fix their malformed faces in "Face Freeze" (Squidward is the nurse).
• Extreme Doormat: True to form, SpongeBob is this in "Squidward, You're Fired". The main conflict of the story comes from SpongeBob's inability to kick Squidward out due to his good nature, which results in Squidward becoming more and more of a parasitic slob and he allows the equally slovenly Bubble Bass and Patrick to live in SpongeBob's house. Even when he accidentally destroys SpongeBob's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy autograph, SpongeBob is absolutely livid but still can't bring himself to kick Squidward out. It takes Gary intentionally placing himself in Squidward's path and getting his tail stepped on for SpongeBob to finally snap and throw the three freeloaders out.
• Fantastic Racism:
  • Several of the chapters show that Mr. Krabs is prejudiced against Sandy for being an air-breather and a mammal, and heavily imply that this is the reason why the two so rarely interact. It drops all pretense in "Squidward, You're Fired", when Sandy learns that Krabs put a "No Mammals Allowed" sign at the Krusty Krab. Enraged, she points out that Krabs’s own daughter (Pearl) is a mammal, but Krabs denies this, claiming that Pearl having flippers and living underwater makes her a "fish".
  • But if that was too subtle for you, at the end of "Face Freeze", after learning that Sandy previously gave SpongeBob and Patrick facial massages despite not being a licensed masseuse, Mr. Krabs calls the cops on Sandy and Officer John and Officer Nancy use this as a pretense to throw her in the slammer, freely admitting afterward that they were looking for an excuse to get rid of her.
• Fat Bastard: Who else but Bubble Bass himself? In "Squidward, You're Fired", he and the eponymous octopus become friends off-screen, after bonding at the unemployment line, and Squidward invites him to live at SpongeBob's home. Like his canon counterpart, Bubble Bass retains his snotty, pseudo-intellectual tendencies, complaining about Corrupt Corporate Executive tyrants suffocating the little guy with their tight grip on society, along with other social issues (such as elitism), while simultaneously being little more than a shiftless and hedonistic Lazy Bum and former Basement-Dweller who mooches off SpongeBob's generosity, along with Squidward and Patrick. And of course, there's plenty of fat jokes involving him.
• Formula-Breaking Episode: "Demolition Doofus" is this, as that chapter has next to no comedy (sans the very beginning and the ending at the Krusty Krab) and plays the scenario of SpongeBob crippling Mrs. Puff in a vehicular accident completely straight. The author admitted that he did this because he simply couldn't find a humorous spin on this situation (even with his penchant for Black Comedy).
• For Want Of A Nail: This results in the dystopian future at the end of "Squid Baby". On a meta-level, this also applies to the fic itself, besides the aforementioned one, other notable examples include:
  • In "Waiting", SpongeBob acting more reasonable about his mail-ordered toy (that is, him being sensible enough not to wait next to the mailbox for his toy to arrive), results in a much happier ending where he gets to enjoy his off-screen birthday party, without any of the misery and tedium he had to endure in the original.
  • In "Professor Squidward", Squidward refusing to impersonate Squilliam leads to the latter ending up as the teacher who had to endure SpongeBob and Patrick's idiocy, leading to Sanity Slippage and Squidward getting payback on Squilliam by tricking him into getting locked together with the two nimrods.
  • In "Atlantis Squarepantis", the magical bus doesn't register any of the main characters' horrid musical numbers as true "songs", meaning it remains out of fuel and the characters never make it to Atlantis in the first place.
  • In "SpongeHenge", Mr. Krabs solves SpongeBob's dilemma with the jellyfish easily by just clogging up the latter's holes with corks. This shifts the focus of the plot to SpongeBob and friends trying to escape the windstorm that is ravaging their town and then find King Neptune to get him to put the kibosh on it.
• Go Mad from the Revelation: Happens to Plankton himself in "Plankton's Regular". The mind-shattering revelation that the Krabby Patty formula never even existed causes his mind to literally shatter and he is hauled off to an insane asylum in a straitjacket, laughing and raving like a lunatic. Fortunately, it was just a virtual simulation by Karen.
• Good-Times Montage: After Gary reminds SpongeBob he does have a life outside work in "Bummer Vacation", a montage of him relaxing on his time off.
• Heroic Sacrifice: Cetos, the dolphin warrior, does this in "Sponge Cano" to appease the volcano, pointing out how he's even more miserable than Squidward because he lost everyone and everything he ever cared about during the volcano's previous eruption, while Squidward at least finds meager enjoyment in his hobbies (art, music, and dancing), along with his few canon victories and other fleeting moments of happiness.
• Hollywood Tone-Deaf: SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and Plankton all fall under this in "Atlantis Squarepantis". For extra points, all of them sans SpongeBob insist on being great singers while chastising the others for their lack of singing skills. Since their bus runs on song instead of fuel, they never make it to Atlantis.
• Hypocritical Heartwarming: At the end of “To Love a Patty”, Krabs, Sandy, and even Squidward comfort the heartbroken SpongeBob after Patty left him, and he thanks them for their support. Never mind that they caused his and Patty’s breakup in the first place (albeit, they were trying to help him).
• Idiot Ball:
  • Generally subverted with SpongeBob; with many gratuitous examples of his canon idiocy/insensitivity getting rewritten to have him act more lucid and rational (or as much as you can expect SpongeBob to be).
  • Zig-zagged with Mr. Krabs, as some canon examples with him subvert it (like in "Squid Baby"), but when played straight, it usually blows up in his face.
• Ignored Epiphany: In "Sponge Cano", SpongeBob gives a soul-stirring speech to the townsfolk about the importance of brotherhood and gratitude in order to save Squidward from being sacrificed to the volcano. The townspeople respond by deciding to throw both Squidward and SpongeBob into the volcano! Fortunately, Cetos arrives in the nick of time to put a stop to that.
• Just Eat Gilligan:
  • Lampshaded in “Squidtastic Voyage”, where Squidward points out that Sandy could simply remove the reed stuck in his throat by shrinking it with her shrink ray instead of needlessly complicating things with a "Fantastic Voyage" Plot, but Sandy laughs it off, saying that it would be one short and boring episode if she did that.
  • Also lampshaded in “Someone’s In the Kitchen With Sandy”, where Plankton realizes that he could have used his disguise to simply order a Krabby Patty and take it back to the Chum Bucket.
  • Averted in “Bummer Vacation”, when SpongeBob gets out of his funk rather easily, after being reminded by Gary that he does have a life outside of working at the Krusty Krab and proceeds to enjoy himself after realizing that he has much more time now to indulge in all of his hobbies and other favorite pastimes.
  • “To Love a Patty” also averts it, when Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward set up an intervention for SpongeBob but Sandy realizes that Patrick is unaccounted for. Mr. Krabs promptly points out that this is a good thing, since Patrick tends to screw things up with his stupidity, and Sandy agrees.
• Kick the Dog: "The Great Snail Race" has two examples. Squidward, who sold off Snellie after the snail race was over, and Mr. Krabs, who sold his pet worm Mr. Doodles to a worm-fighting ring. The former gets punished for his callous action, the latter... not so much.
• Lame Comeback: After dividing SpongeBob’s house in three in “Pineapple Fever”, SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick start trading insults, with the last one being short on good comebacks.
  Squidward: I want nothing to do with you two imbeciles!
  SpongeBob: Fine by me! I want nothing to do with a lousy cheater like you. Or a gluttonous jerk like him!
  Patrick: Oh, yeah! Well… (starts sweating) …your head is full of holes! And you have a big nose!
• Laser-Guided Karma: A frequent fate to the Jerkass of the episode, examples include:
  • In "A Pal for Gary", SpongeBob is forced by Gary to spend the night in the dog house as punishment for putting them both in danger with Puffy Fluffy.
  • In "The Splinter", Patrick gets arrested for impersonating a doctor before he can subject SpongeBob (who already got rid of his splinter) and Squidward to his less-than-safe medical procedure.
  • In "Demolition Doofus", SpongeBob finally gets kicked out of the boating school after his latest crash left Mrs. Puff crippled. Though she's merciful enough not to press charges.
  • In "Professor Squidward", Squilliam receives another long-overdue dose of karma after being forced to be SpongeBob and Patrick's college teacher for a week. And then he gets locked in Squidward's house with the two of them at the end!
  • In "One Coarse Meal", Plankton gets his revenge on Krabs for trying to drive him to suicide by capturing Krabs and subjecting him to his greatest fear.
  • In "Face Freeze", SpongeBob and Patrick have to endure a very painful facelift procedure to get their malformed faces back to normal, which lasts all night. They sure learned to heed Mr. Krabs' wisdom by the end.
  • In the extended ending for “The Great Snail Race”, Sandy punishes SpongeBob for abusing Gary (and for his sexist remarks) by subjecting him to Training from Hell (much like he did to Gary). Squidward is given the same treatment, because he only bought Snellie to win the snail race and sold her off after she failed to.
• Left the Background Music On: The music playing during Mr. Krabs' fry cook training in "Bummer Vacation" turns out to be playing from a boom box, which an annoyed Pearl turns off.
• Mistaken for Cheating: In “To Love a Patty”, Krabs forces SpongeBob to have a dinner date with “Squidwardina”, only for Patty to show up and assume that SpongeBob was cheating on her, prompting her to dump him. Ironically, his next affair involves his partner cheating on her husband.
• Named by the Adaptation: Happens to a few minor characters, such as the confish from "Chocolate with Nuts", who gets named Connor Hucksley, Dead Eye, whose birth name is revealed to be Ezekiel Plankton, and the dolphin warrior from "Sponge Cano", who is given the name Cetos.
• Nested Story Reveal: "I Was A Teenage Gary" turns out to be a scary story Spongebob was telling his friends. When they says they don't find it scary, he reveals to actually be the Flying Dutchman and promptly takes their souls for not appreciating his story.
• Never Trust a Title: Each chapter is named after the episode it's reworking but due to many tweaks to the plot, many of them become a full-fledged Artifact Title.
  • In "Demolition Doofus", SpongeBob never enters the Demolition Derby. He gets kicked out of Mrs. Puff's Boating School instead.
  • In "Professor Squidward", Squidward never becomes a professor.
  • In "Waiting", SpongeBob never waits next to his mailbox for his order to arrive, he goes to his birthday party at the Krusty Krab.
  • In "Bummer Vacation", after some brief sulking, SpongeBob ends up having a blast being on vacation.
  • This applies for both "Whatever Happened to SpongeBob?", and its alternative title "WhoBob WhatPants?", as the title character never leaves Bikini Bottom or gets amnesia. Instead, he takes Squidward's usual scolding in strides, never hurts Gary, quickly makes up to Patrick and never upsets Mr. Krabs, meaning the original plot never happens.
  • Subverted with "Truth or Square", as we actually learn what the Krabby Patty formula is. See Wham Episode.
  • Also subverted with "Pineapple Fever", which plays up the "cabin fever" angle a lot more. Though the ending reveals that this was not the reason behind the main characters' Sanity Slippage.
• Noodle Incident: "The Splinter" ends with SpongeBob promising to pay Patrick's bail again, implying this isn't the first time Patrick's been arrested.
• Not Me This Time: In “To Love a Patty”, Mr. Krabs drags a tied-up Plankton to the intervention, accusing him of having planted some kind of device on Patty that is brainwashing SpongeBob. Turns out he’s innocent, though Krabs might have inadvertently given him an idea.
• One Hour Workweek: SpongeBob and Squidward’s erratic work schedule at the Krusty Krab is frequently lampshaded, but especially in "WhoBob WhatPants?", when the former wakes Squidward up from his beauty sleep, and instead of getting upset over Squidward's scolding, he just helpfully reminds him that they are supposed to go to work, resulting in a lenghty and one-sided argument.
  Squidward: You idiot, the Krusty Krab is closed today!
  SpongeBob (laughs): That’s a good one, Squid. I always appreciate a little black humor.
  Squidward: I’m serious, or did you forget that it’s Sunday today?
  SpongeBob: I know, a great day for going to work.
  Squidward: No, we don’t work on Sunday!
  SpongeBob: Of course we do, silly.
  Squidward: No, we don’t!
  SpongeBob: Sure we do, just ask Mr. K.
  (Squidward grabs his phone)
  Squidward: Hello, Mr. Krabs? Are we supposed to go to work in this episode?
• Only Sane Man: The Flying Dutchman ends up being this in "SpongeHenge", as he's the one to suggest to the two Neptunes and Poseidon to settle their dispute regarding which of them is the true lord of the oceans by taking it to court.
• Out of Focus: Out of the five main characters, Patrick gets the least amount of attention, usually being relegated to a supporting or minor role, and only has three chapters where he's the focus. Patrick himself complains about his lack of screentime in the first-anniversary special.
• Paper-Thin Disguise: Lampshaded in “One Coarse Meal”. After getting confirmation from Pearl herself that she hadn’t met Plankton since his last attack on the Krusty Krab, Karen entertains the idea that “Pearl” could have been Mr. Krabs in disguise and asks her husband if anything seemed off about the whale, which Plankton angrily denies before slowly recalling that “Pearl” was covered in stitches and had big, meaty claws and finally coming to his senses. Needless to say, Karen makes fun of him for his obliviousness.
• Quintessential British Gentleman: Lord Vacuumshire, an anthropomorphized version of Squidward’s vacuum cleaner in “Squid’s Visit”, complete with top hat and monocle.
• Real After All: The ending of “To Love a Patty” ends with the revelation that Patty was a living, sentient being all along, and she dumps SpongeBob for a living hotdog named Henry. Makes Just as Much Sense in Context.
• Reused Character Design: Deliberately invoked on a few occasions, to go along with the Original Flavor style.
  • Most notably, after regressing back into cavemen, SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward turn into exact copies of their ancestors from “SpongeBob B.C.”.
  • In "To Love a Patty", Squidward in drag looks like Squilvia in "Love That Squid".
  • Same for the two Nickelodeon goons who silently threaten SpongeBob and Squidward in "House Fancy", as they have the same model as the Tattletale Strangler and the phony health inspector from “The Nasty Patty” respectively.
• Sanity Slippage:
  • "Pineapple Fever" lives up to its title a lot more than the original episode, where, after finding out that Patrick ate all of their supplies, he, SpongeBob, and Squidward start losing their marbles while being trapped in the pineapple. They eventually divide the house into three after irrationally suspecting that the others are out to get them and eventually regress into cavemen (ala "SpongeBob B.C."), and try to hunt down Gary in order to eat him. In the end, we learn that they have only been trapped in there for one day and started acting crazy not from cabin fever but because they ate some expired seaweed spinach, which, as it turns out, hosted a fungus with neurodegenerative and hallucinogenic properties.
  • Subverted in “To Love a Patty”. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Sandy assume that SpongeBob has gone off the deep end for dating a Krabby Patty and hold an intervention for him. They put him in a straitjacket after he announces that he and Patty are engaged and plan to start a family, with Sandy using psychiatry to figure out the cause behind his Sanity Slippage, while Krabs tries to hook him up with a real woman (Squidward in drag). Turns out Patty was alive all this time, and their actions cause her to assume SpongeBob was cheating on her and dump him.
• "Shaggy Dog" Story: In "Atlantis Squarepantis", the main characters try to fuel the magic Atlantean bus through song, but none of them can carry a tune, so their bus doesn’t even budge and eventually starts falling apart from their increasingly horrid singing. Squidward, in a fit of rage, kicks it in the trunk and that somehow gets its engines running, causing the bus to fly off towards Atlantis without its passengers. Enraged, the rest of them chase after Squidward with pitchforks and torches.
• Skewed Priorities:
  • A Running Gag in "Squid Baby", where Mr. Krabs only helps SpongeBob and Sandy get Squidward back to normal because he can't run his restaurant without a cashier, while constantly lamenting about losing money. Sandy rightfully calls him out on it.
  • Happens again in "SpongeHenge", where he drops his Big Damn Heroes moment of saving his employees and Patrick from being carried off by the winds in order to save his cash register and promptly puts himself in danger with the former.
• Sleazy Politician: While he's implied not to be the real Neptune, the show’s incarnation manages to be declared the "real Neptune" and the rightful king of the seas at the end of "SpongeHenge" by blatantly bribing the court and finding himself a very crafty lawyer. He also "thanks" SpongeBob for his assistance by using his trident to erect the eponymous SpongeHenge. When Sandy questions him about what worth a crudely-made monument (which is essentially just a pile of rocks) has for her spongey friend, Neptune simply states that this is the most "cost-effective" way of keeping up his public image as a benign and charitable monarch.
• Slurpasaur: In "Pineapple Fever", SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward hallucinate Gary to be a giant, prehistoric monster-snail with fangs like a saber-toothed cat, a thagomizer like a stegosaur and a row of spines on its shell, which they call a "Manaka". They promptly try to kill it and have it for dinner.
• Spot the Imposter: In "SpongeHenge", SpongeBob and his friends find out that the windstorm that has been ravaging their town (along with many other disasters happening elsewhere) were caused by Neptune from the show, Neptune from the first movie and Poseidon from the third one fighting over the trident like petulant children. We never learn who the true ruler of the seas is, but it's implied that it's not the original version (the one from the show), as he has to bribe his ways into being declared the real Neptune.
• Stealth Sequel: Due to the many Continuity Nods, several of the rewritten episodes end up being follow-ups to previous episodes, despite there being no connections in the original. Examples include:
  • “The Splinter” is one to “The Krusty Sponge”, as it’s the same undercover cop that arrests Patrick for impersonating a doctor. Mr. Krabs recognizes him and runs off.
  • “Squid Baby” becomes one to “Back to the Past” at the very end, where SpongeBob’s time-traveling shenanigans (somehow) cause a dystopian future where Man Ray rules Bikini Bottom.
  • “Squidward, You’re Fired” is essentially a direct sequel to “Can You Spare a Dime?”. Gary even tells SpongeBob how Squidward used and mistreated him the last time he was a freeloader crashing at SpongeBob’s place, but SpongeBob ignores his warnings.
  • “Squid’s Visit” becomes one to “SquidBob TentaclePants”, as the events of that episode are SpongeBob’s main motivation for holding Squidward hostage. And for Squidward having these paranoid dreams.
  • “Pineapple Fever” ends up being one to “SpongeBob B.C.”, with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward devolving into the prehistoric ancestors for the climax. ^note  Based on the brief moment in the original where the trio starts acting like cavemen.
• Steampunk: Dead Eye Plankton is revealed to have been an avid inventor, who ends up building a steampunk version of his descendant’s usual Humongous Mecha to steal the deed for the Krusty Kantina. He also made his own (crudely-built) robot wife, called Carol.
• Surreal Horror: "Squid's Visit" is jam-packed with it, down to featuring an appearance by "Moar Krabs" and it amps up SpongeBob's stalker tendencies to the nth degree; to the point that he is holding Squidward hostage in a straightjacket and is trying to get biologically fused with him again (like in "SquidBob TentaclePants"). Fittingly enough, the whole event was a nightmare.
• Talk Like a Pirate: Mr. Krabs, with his accent being heavily emphasized in his dialogue.
• Taught by Experience: Implied to be the case with Squidward in "Squidward, You're Fired", as unlike in "Can You Spare a Dime" (which is said to have happened 10 years prior), where he quickly turned into a petulant, unpleasable Jerkass who screamed at and berated SpongeBob over everything, here, while still a shameless freeloader exploiting his neighbor's generosity, he's never overtly mean to SpongeBob and instead butters the sponge up with compliments about what a great friend the latter is whenever he shows any signs of being frustrated with Squidward, knowing this will placate/guilt-trip SpongeBob into submission.
• Terrible Trio: Non-villainous example in "Squidward, You're Fired", where Squidward, Patrick, and Bubble Bass form a trio of Jerkass freeloaders who make SpongeBob cater to their every whim when not working himself to death as the sole employee at the Krusty Krab in order to provide for them, all while they do nothing but laze around, throw wild parties and enjoy themselves all day long, while driving their host up a wall. SpongeBob finally gets fed up at the end and kicks their sorry butts out.
• Throw the Dog a Bone: Squidward is very happy at the end of "Bummer Vacation", since he doesn't have to deal with SpongeBob for three months at work plus no Patrick, which he considers the second worst thing (he also finds Mr. Krabs doing grunt work satisfying, but doesn't say it out loud).
• Training Montage: Mr. Krabs puts himself through one in "Bummer Vacation" to get his fry cook skills back in shape to do Spongebob's job.
• Troubled Fetal Position: SpongeBob adopts it during his mental breakdown in “Plankton’s Regular”, after finding out that the Krabby Patty formula doesn’t exist.
• True Companions: Unlike Mr. Krabs, Patrick or Squidward, Sandy and Gary are always written as unconditionally supportive towards SpongeBob, even when he grates on their nerves, with their usual response being to try and guide him in the right direction.
• Ungrateful Bastard: Squidward and Mr. Krabs big time in "Squidward, You're Fired". The latter only cares about making money and makes SpongeBob work himself to the bone as the Krusty Krab's sole employee, and then has the gall to berate SpongeBob for "not working harder" once profits and productivity inevitably go down. Squidward is at least ostensibly courteous towards SpongeBob, but he still shamelessly exploits and leeches off the poor sponge's hospitality for months and treats him more like a servant than a friend. And neither learn their lesson by the end.
• Unusual Euphemism: Like in the show, the characters freely cuss from time to time using terms such as "barnacles", "fish paste", and "tartar sauce". This fic adds a few more, such as "Holy carp!" and "You son of a leech!".
• Unwitting Pawn: Both “Truth or Square” and “Plankton’s Regular” show that Mr. Krabs is allowing his feud with Plankton to continue mostly for the sake of free marketing. Because having the town’s most infamous villain constantly trying to steal the (nonexistent) Krabby Patty formula only further boosts the mystique and fame of Krabs’ lucrative burger brand.
• Wham Episode:
  • The SpongeBob segment in "Truth or Square". As is well known, Mr. Krabs will do anything for a quick buck but here, he reveals to Squidward that the Krusty Krab itself is built on nothing but a lie! Specifically, the Krabby Patty secret formula itself is a sham! There is nothing special about his Krabby Patties; he just duped the gullible Bikini Bottomites into thinking his patties were the best by using good old psychological tricks and word of mouth as free marketing. And he allows Plankton to try and steal it over and over again, as that only helps elevate the Krabby Patty's already mythical status among the citizens. As he points out, it’s not the quality of the food that will make you money, it's all about branding. Squidward calls him a fraud, but Krabs insists that he’s a savvy businessman. Naturally, Krabs never told SpongeBob about it, fearing that it would break the naive kid's heart.
  • The ending of "One Coarse Meal" shows Karen on a romantic date with someone at the Chum Bucket while her husband is away getting payback on Mr. Krabs. Who is it? Why none other than SpongeBob! Yes, our lovable, virtuous, and innocent protagonist is having a secret affair with someone else’s wife! Wrap your head around that. It's, of course, a meta-joke about how SpongeBob and Karen's voice actors are married in real life. Karen does state that she's doing this because Plankton has canonically already cheated on her in "Enemy In-Law".
• Who Even Needs a Brain?: "A Pal for Gary" offers an explanation for why SpongeBob was acting so insanely stupid in that episode (even by post-Flanderization standards). To put it simply, he lost his brain sometime before the episode and gets it back in the middle of Puffy Fluffy's attack, courtesy of an annoyed Squidward. Once it's back in his noggin, he's fully aware of and promptly horrified at the sight of the giant snakehead.
  • This likely happened in "Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy" as well, as there, he's too stupid to tell the real Sandy apart from Plankton's "Sandy disguise" while they are right next to each other, down to having the exact same reaction as in "Imitation Krabs", when he saw Robo-Krabs and the real one together. Luckily, Sandy quickly exposes Plankton before SpongeBob can use the tartar sauce hose.
• With Friends Like These...: Downplayed with Patrick. While he does not venture into Fat Bastard False Friend territory like he often did during the show's worst episodes, there are quite a few examples of him still being rude, unsupportive, selfish, smug, or even actively making things worse for SpongeBob, with "Squidward, You're Fired" and "Squidtastic Voyage" being the best showcases of his shortcomings.
• Wins by Doing Absolutely Nothing: "Professor Squidward" gives Squidward a victory over Squilliam without the former having to do anything. After refusing to pretend to be his rival, Squidward goes home and doesn't think anything of it until a week later, when a frantic Squilliam turns up at his house, begging Squidward to hide him as SpongeBob and Patrick had been driving him insane all week, as he actually took the professorship that Squidward stole from him in canon.
• Women Are Wiser: Sandy is generally cast in this role, most often towards SpongeBob and/or Mr. Krabs. Most prominently in "Bummer Vacation" and "Squidward, You're Fired".
• Worth It: At the end of "Professor Squidward", after sending SpongeBob and Patrick into his house to find a hiding Squilliam, Squidward notes to himself that he doesn't care if his house burns down-forcing Squilliam to deal with SpongeBob and Patrick more than makes up for it.
• You Are Grounded!: Gary does this to SpongeBob at the end of "A Pal for Gary", by putting him on a dog leash and forcing him to spend the night in the dog house with no supper as punishment for bringing Puffy Fluffy to their home, and for not being careful about losing his brain, complete with a stern scolding. Here we also learn that Gary thinks of SpongeBob as his pet.

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