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Stanley Spector
Stanley Spector
Played By: Jeremy Blackman
- Alliterative Name: Stanley Spector.
- Bookworm: He spends most of his time reading and carries a large numbers of books and encyclopedias to school
- Butt-Monkey: Poor Stanley doesn't get a break once during the movie.
- Child Prodigy: The deconstruction of this trope is arguably the defining aspect of his character.
- Promotion to Parent: Stanley, hurrying to get ready for school, reminds his father they're out of dog food: promptly — and almost imperceptibly — establishing which member of the Spector household is fully-engaged and responsible. In the green room — after the on-air meltdown of the show's host, and its brightest contestant — Daddy throws a tantrum (and a chair). Role reversal complete: as a parent, Rick has been invisible.
Frank T.J. Mackey
Frank T.J. Mackey
Played By: Tom Cruise
- Antagonistic Offspring: Does not have a positive opinion of his father and doesn't hesitate to tell him as much on his deathbed. Given what he did, it's hard to blame Frank for his behavior.
- Berserk Button: Bringing up his late mother really angers him.
- The Charmer: He's very charismatic. A given considering who he's played by.
- Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Invoked in his interview where he claims that, despite his ideology, he's still close with his mother. This may be a straight example as Frank did genuinely love his mother and see her die while his father did nothing had a serious effect on him.
- Freudian Excuse: His father's abandonment, and the death of his mother molded him into the character we see in the film.
- Mr. Fanservice: Gets a brief scene in his underwear to show off his ripped physique.
Jimmy Gator
Jimmy Gator
Played By: Philip Baker Hall & Thomas Jane
- But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Can't actually recall whether he sexually abused his daughter, which (if so) altered her life from that point forward.
- Depraved Family Game Show Host: Alcoholic, unfaithful, and may have molested his daughter.
- Interrupted Suicide: Attempts to take his own life after his wife finds out that he quite possibly molested their daughter. However, the rain of frogs that occurs during the end of the film causes him to misfire his gun.
- Secretly Dying: He has the same cancer Earl does.
Phil Parma
Phil Parma
Played By: Philip Seymour Hoffman
- Caretaking is Feminine: Phil is Earl Partridge's registered nurse and full-time caretaker. While Phil is male, he's also the most sensitive character in the film and is instrumental in trying to fix the relationship between Earl and his son before Earl dies. His demeanor and mannerisms are quite androgynous (bordering on effeminate).
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: He's blonde and one of the nicest people in the film.
- Nice Guy: One of the few normal, well-adjusted people in the entire movie.
- Only Sane Man: Has to deal with caring for a dying man, the erratic mood of said man's wife, and tracking down the man's long-lost son. In spite of this, he keeps it together.
Donnie Smith
Donnie Smith
Played By: William H. Macy
- Desperately Craves Affection: His unrequited crush on Brad the Bartender is indicative of how lonely he is.
- Ineffectual Loner: He tries to impress Brad the Bartender, to no avail.
- Former Child Star: A former Child Prodigy on a TV quiz show who developed into a Manchild and fell on hard times.
Linda Partridge
Linda Partridge
Played By: Julianne Moore
- The Atoner: She feels immense guilt over marrying Earl for his money, even trying to get herself taken out of his will as a sort of punishment.
- Becoming the Mask: She originally intended to marry Earl Patridge in order to gain his fortune after he died, but she eventually fell in love with him genuinely.
- Gold Digger: Subverted. She initially married Earl for his money, but then she genuinely fell in love with him, to the extent that, out of guilt, she even tried to have his will changed so that she would no longer be his heir.
- Mal Mariée: She mentions that she slept with many men while being married to Earl.
- Pretty in Mink: She appears in one in her first scene with the family lawyer.
- Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: An elderly and rather withered movie executive dying of cancer married to a gorgeous trophy wife several decades younger than him.
Officer Jim Kurring
Off. Jim Kurring
Played By: John C. Reilly
- Nice Guy: Arguably the kindest character in the film.
- Real Men Love Jesus: He's a Christian, even having a cross over his bed, and is seen praying in his opening scene.
Earl Partridge
Earl Partridge
Played By: Jason Robards
- The Atoner: He deeply regrets abandoning his wife and son and wants to try and make things right before he dies.
- Daddy Had a Good Reason for Abandoning You: Subverted. He didn't had a good reason to abandon Frank and his mother.
- Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: He isn't going to waste any of his few remaining days on good manners.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: He seems determined to use his remaining time on earth to spout as many obscenities as possible.
Claudia Wilson Gator
Claudia Wilson Gator
Played By: Melora Walters
Rose Gator
Rose Gator
Played By: Melinda Dillon
- Advertised Extra: Even though she introduces herself in one of the trailers like the rest of the characters, she has a more peripheral role, on part with Solomon Solomon.
Rick Spector
Rick Spector
Played By: Michael Bowen
- Abusive Dad: He just doesn't let up on poor Stanley.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Downplayed but it seems that Rick knows he's abusive, even describing his actions as such to other parents, and doesn't seem at all bothered by that fact, even trading tips with them on how to treat their kids in the same way.
- Hate Sink: Most of the characters are too sympathetic or messed up to hate or have some redeeming traits. But Rick is just a selfish, abusive, reprehensible asshole the whole way through.
- It's All About Me: He doesn't give a shit about Stanley beyond his own benefit and makes little to no effort to make him think otherwise.
Gwenovier
Gwenovier
Played By: April Grace
Thurston Howell
Thurston Howell
Played By: Henry Gibson
- Foil: To Donny. Whereas Donny is a Straight Gay, naive, has an idealistic perspective on love, and a genuine crush on Brad the Bartener, Thurston is a somewhat Camp Gay cynic who uses money to get Brad's attention and sees the bartender as little more than a boy toy.
Solomon Solomon
Solomon Solomon
Played By: Alfred Molina
- Jerkass Has a Point: While he isn't remotely kind in his criticism of Donnie, he doesn't have much reason to hold onto an employee who's regularly late and can't make his sales quota.
- Large Ham: Alfred Molina was clearly determined to chew as much scenery as he could in his limited screentime.
- Repetitive Name: His name is "Solomon" twice.
