Characters / King of the Hill - The Hills family (and Other Relatives)

King of the Hill character index
The Hills and Other Relatives (Hank Hill) | The Hills' Neighbors (Dale Gribble) | Strickland Propane | Other Characters

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Main Hills

Hank Hill

See here for more information about him.

Peggy Hill

Margaret "Peggy" Hill (née Platter)

Two-time Substitute Teacher of the Year.

Voiced by: Kathy Najimy

"I am Peggy Hill, a citizen of the Republic of Texas. I work hard, I sweat hard and I love hard and I gotta smell good and look pretty while doing it. So, I comb my hair, I re-apply lipstick thirty times a day, I do your dishes, I wash clothes and I clean the house. Not because I have to, but because of a mutual, unspoken agreement that I have never brought up, because I am too much of a lady."

Peggy is Hank's wife, to whom he is Happily Married. Impulsive and somewhat ditzy, she sometimes causes trouble for the family with hare-brained ideas. She and Hank stay loyal to each other no matter what though.

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• Academic Athlete: She is a former (substitute) schoolteacher with a keen interest in literature and other academic subjects, but she has taught many subjects including physical education and participates in a softball team as an adult and a teenager. She is also physically strong.
• Action Mom:
  • Something she's demonstrated numerous times when it comes to defending Hank, Bobby, or Luanne. Sometimes she has to defend one from the other. To the point that she handed Leanne Platter a humiliating beat down, to successfully conning a smug con man, to shaming the Alamo Beer Company into apologizing for tainted beer, to threatening three grown men with a wooden spoon. Buck Strickland is actually afraid of her.
  • We've seen her defend Luanne from Hank, Hank from Bobby, Bobby from Hank, and Hank from Luanne. She generally will not let any member of her family be disrespected, even if it's by each other.
• Alliterative Name: Her maiden name is Peggy Platter.
• Arch-Enemy: Over the years, she has accrued a substantial list of these- certainly more than would expected for a substitute teacher/homemaker. The list includes her father-in-law (Cotton), her own mother, her sister-in-law, Randy Travis, Robert Vaysoza, Trip Larsen, and Peggy Donovan.
• Berserk Button: She does not tolerate disrespect towards her beloved husband Hank. Even her own son Bobby isn't immune from this.
  • Someone trying to undermine parenting responsibilities from her or Hank justifiably sets her off. Luanne gets a very stern warning (after she'd taken Bobby to a religious wingnut's youth group without asking Peggy or Hank) that while she took Luanne in and loves her, Peggy would evict her from the Hill home herself if she ever tried to parent Bobby again.
• Borrowed Catchphrase: When Hank tells her that she unknowingly gave the readers of the Arlen Bystander the recipe to create mustard gas, she reacts with his trademark "BWAAAAAH!"
• Brainy Brunette: Though not as much as she thinks. She is pretty clever and educated, and with a cool head she can learn and plan better than most of the cast. Unfortunately, her desire to stand out makes her act like an authority on fields she has no real expertise in and it's easy for her to grab the Idiot Ball if her ego is in question.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: She's mediocre at just about everything, but she's really good at Boggle, and has a surprising affinity for selling real estate. She's also an excellent softball pitcher, almost striking out a former major league player. That said, while she's lacking at best with her Spanish, she genuinely is good at teaching other subjects, like math.
• Can't Take Criticism: Criticism is something she never considers or contemplates in later seasons, being too much of a Know-Nothing Know-It-All to even consider her faults. If anything it just make her more determined to prove her arguments are right.
• Calling the Old Man Out: With Cotton on his deathbed and tormenting Hank, she gives him a ruthless talking to.
• Character Catchphrase:
  • "Ho yeah!"
  • Early seasons had her say "In my opinion..." before stating a known fact. Ex: "Kindling is in my opinion, the best way to start a fire." or "Black Friday is in my opinion, the busiest shopping day of the year." This was her deliberately trying to make her sound smarter than she really is by claiming common knowledge as something she came up with. This phrase was dropped in later seasons, possibly having something to do with Hank calling her out on this in "Peggy's Fan Fair."
  • She often chuckles at her own jokes followed by a quiet "Oh, Peggy." to herself.
  • At least Once an Episode, she'll say her full name, often as a boast.
• Closer to Earth: She and Hank switch off on this depending on the episode, but generally, she's much more rational when it comes to raising Bobby and Luanne and isn't nearly as stifling as the overprotective and old-fashioned Hank can be (particularly to Bobby).
• Cloudcuckoolander: She can rival Luanne in this regard depending on the episode. Her ego can cause her to disconnect with reality at times and make her create (or fall for) crazy schemes when she should know better. She once accidentally kidnapped a girl from her home in Mexico ("Lupe's Revenge") because she didn't want to look like she doesn't speak Spanish.
• Crying Wolf: In "Peggy's Fan Fair", no one would believe her when she realized Randy Travis stole her song lyrics, and in "Pigmalion", no one would believe her about Trip Larson being bad news.
• Determinator: Partially deconstructed. Her belief that she can do anything through sheer willpower proves to be entirely wrong a lot of the time and gets her into a great deal of trouble. On the other hand, there are occasions where Peggy justifies this mentality, most notably in "Peggy Makes the Big Leagues." Also, clinging to that belief is probably the only thing that allowed her to come out of her childhood as relatively mentally healthy as she did. See Freudian Excuse below.
• The Dreaded: When things get bad, the cast calls Hank. But when you do bad, you have to answer to....PEGGY. The semi-rational Dale lives in fear of her, the caustic Minh doesn't dare push her too far, and even Hank is mindful of the language (and tone) he uses around her for touchy subjects. Check out Buck's reaction after when Hank is suspended by the Propane Commission in "What Happens in the Propane Convention in Dallas...." (because of Buck's actions). Peggy is like Clint Eastwood coming through the saloon door in a western.

  Buck: "Aww- this ain't gonna be good..."

• The Farmer and the Viper: In Season 8, Episode 13 "Cheer Factor", when Peggy replaces Jo Rita as cheerleading coach, Peggy offers her the job of assistant coach out of kindness and good will. Jo Rita repays Peggy by undermining her and getting her fired to get the job as cheerleading coach back.
• Fatal Flaw: Pride. She refuses to admit to being wrong or not as smart as she thinks. This ego-driven mindset of hers causes her constant problems and a lot of people to dislike her. Even Hank and Bill, her husband and his friend who makes stalker-ish behavior towards her, have their limits.
• Flanderization:
  • Her ego, originally a mild quirk, eventually became her defining character trait, so much so that her backstory had to be rewritten to explain her narcissistic tendencies (see Freudian Excuse below).
  • Remember when her Spanish was initially considered to be pretty good? Hard to believe that later in the series, her Spanish "abilities" would end up with her accidentally kidnapping a Mexican girl while taking her class on a field trip. She is only able to prove her innocence when Hank convinces her attorney to let her plead her case in her own Spanish words to the judge.^note Let's just say, it was not because she presented her side in a "good light" that convinced him it was an accident...
• Four-Philosophy Ensemble: Originally the realist, but eventually became the most cynical in the series after Dale and Kahn.
• Four-Temperament Ensemble: The choleric.
• Freudian Excuse: Peggy grew up with a cold, unpleasable, overly critical mother who constantly told her everything she did was wrong. In her adult years, Peggy believes she is the absolute best at everything she does. She has to believe this, because it's the only way she can convince herself that her mother was wrong and she's not completely worthless.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: It's been noted on more than one occasion that Hank's friends generally only associate with her because she's Hank's wife; Dale flat-out admitted on at least one occasion that he can't stand her. It's not like she is fond of them either. The only exception is Bill who's her Stalker with a Crush. That said, she gets along with Minh and Nancy quite alright, so she only has an issue with the husbands.
• Genius Ditz: Peggy believes herself to have a high IQ. She actually does seem to be pretty smart in some ways, but her total inability to ever consider the possibility that she might be wrong about anything means she ends up acting on a lot of really stupid ideas.
• Good Parents: Despite her character flaws, she really does try her best with raising Bobby and Luanne, and is generally an effective co-parent alongside Hank.
• Gratuitous Spanish: Will often say random Spanish words in conversation, sometimes incorrectly or mispronounced.
• Green-Eyed Monster: She tends to become extremely jealous whenever someone tries to come between her and Hank. She also doesn't take it well when someone is better than her at something, as seen when Bobby proves to be a better housewife than she is.
• Happily Married: She can be egotistical, but she is always faithful and appreciative of Hank.
• Hidden Depths: She might seem like an egotistical jerk who just suffers from unwarranted self-importance. Well, she kind of is. But her constant insistence that she's a genius in the face of all evidence makes a lot more sense, and even becomes slightly sympathetic, once you find out how her mother always treated her.
  • She's also a genuinely talented softball player, one area where her own opinion of her skills actually seems to be entirely accurate.
  • She's actually a gifted songwriter, enough so that Randy Travis plagiarizes her work.
  • If she's really determined, she does prove to be a good schoolteacher even despite her quirks. Her Spanish might be very poor, but she can teach math and theology adequately.
  • Hank's Bully shows she has a knack for posing and staging taxidermied animals. Dale even compliments her, er... 'skills'. Their entry to the taxidermy contest, a recreation of the Founding Fathers signing the Declaration of Independence with squirrels, is pretty impressive (until it catches on fire, anyway).
• Hollywood Homely: Because of her choice in fashion (dowdy clothes, old-fashioned hairdo, unflattering glasses), Peggy comes across as this. She's certainly not unattractive and actually is rather pretty when she's in something that flatters her face and figure.
• Hypocrite: Peggy was utterly incised when she learned that Hank hid the fact as a teenager he was kissed by another woman (which incidently lead to him contracting Mono), simply because it invalidated their "story" of being each other's "first romance". Several seasons later, Peggy reveals to Luanne that yet another story, that she and Hank had never had sex prior to their marriage (at her own insistence) was also a lie, as she secretly had sex with a closeted friend of hers to discern wether or not he was truly gay. Due to plot-related drama, Luanne reveals Peggy's secret to Hank, with Peggy attempting to act as if it was nothing to be upset over, in complete contrast to how she behaved when she had learn Hank had been forcibly kissed by another woman.
• I Was Quite a Looker: Much to Bobby's surprise. Oddly her younger self looks the same, aside from different outfits, slightly slimmer, and a different hairstyle; it's her current dowdy style and old-fashioned hairdo and glasses that don't do it for her.
• Intrepid Reporter: Inverted. When she worked for the Arlen Bystander she excelled at reviewing pancake houses. When she tried to get the scoop on the “Smoking Bandit” (aka Dale Gribble) all she managed to do was holdup the line at a nightclub. When she tried to get the scoop on whom she thought was a Corrupt Corporate Executive, she was fired (since he wasn’t one). Lampshaded by a government official when she proudly declares she will not reveal her sources and he retorts that her sources are “just old newspapers clippings.”
• It's All About Me: Peggy's worst moments spring from this.
  • In "Little Horrors of Shop", she isn't happy that Hank is a successful shop teacher because it's ruining her chance for a third Substitute Teacher of the Year award. She ends up piggybacking off of Hank's popularity to win the award.
  • In "Goodbye Normal Jeans", Bobby starts helping around the house thanks to Home Ec. Hank is happy, but Peggy gets jealous because he's a better homemaker than her. She goes so far as to steal the Thanksgiving turkey Bobby made.
  • In "Maid in Arlen", Bill falls for Kahn's mother, but they get broken up by Kahn and Bill gets depressed again. Peggy's too busy bitching about how Laoma personally betrayed her by planning to move into a retirement home to care about anything else.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Peggy might be a petty, self-centered Know-Nothing Know-It-All with an inflated ego, but she is a loyal and loving woman toward her family and will stand up for them should anyone bring them down. Her most noticeable display of this is when she confronts Cotton on his death bed, stating he’s a horrible person not out of her own ego, but for how terribly he’s treated his own son Hank.
• The Kirk: Much, much more impulsive than Hank, but still more buttoned down than Bobby.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: To a ridiculous degree, especially when it comes to her Spanish speaking ability. She thinks she's "very fluent." She barely knows enough to teach a middle school Spanish class. On top of that, she was unaware that Joseph Gribble is John Redcorn's biological son until after over a decade after Joseph was born, and only after Hank all but flat-out told her when he realized her obliviousness to the fact; Hank himself is shocked she didn't already know, especially since everyone who knows the Gribbles is aware of it^note except, ironically, for Dale and Joseph themselves.
• Large Ham: "Hooo Yeah!"
• Mama Bear: To Bobby, Luanne, and Ladybird. She kicks Luanne's mom's ass when she misbehaves in front of Luanne, lashes out at Hank when he mistreats Bobby and saves Ladybird from a bunch of wild dogs while screaming "Mommy's coming".
• My Beloved Smother: Can be this to Bobby and Luanne (babying them and making their decisions for them).
• Narcissist: The most notable trope about Peggy Hill. She believes herself to be an ideal mother and wife, despite having flaws of her own.
• My God, What Have I Done?: Believe it or not, there was at least one time when Peggy messed up so badly that she finally realized her mistake and tried to take responsibility for it. In "Bystand Me", Peggy becomes a writer for the Arlen Bystander and has to write tips for helping around the house; she struggles, but Peggy finds her footing with Minh's help. But when Minh is unavailable, Peggy makes up a tip by writing that mixing ammonia and bleach will make a super-cleaning product... which just so happens to be the recipe for mustard gas. After saving the town from getting poisoned, Peggy tries to confess to what she did by telling her boss and quitting. For the first time in the entire series, Peggy finally realizes how badly she screwed up and accepts the blame. It's very jarring and cathartic at the same time.
  Peggy: I just wanted to write for the paper so bad I didn't care where I got my ideas. Of course the mustard gas one was mine...
• Never My Fault: Peggy never accepts she did something wrong even when the consequences catch up to her (like accidentally kidnapping a Mexican child because she didn't really speak Spanish) and even if she does, she'll still find some way of justifying it, downplaying how badly she messed up or find a way to make someone else take fault. The one time she realizes she royally messed up is during "Bystand Me", when her bad advice nearly poisoned the entire town, and tries to own up to what she did.
• New Job Episode: Rivals Homer Simpson in this regard. Though Peggy works as a substitute teacher, journalist, and real estate saleswoman for some time, she also dabbles in grocery bagging, sculpture, rollerblading and restaurant owning.
• Obnoxious Entitled Housewife: A more down-to-earth variant. While she is friendly, optimistic, and means well, she is also arrogant, self-centered, and not nearly as smart as she likes to believe. She gets herself deeply involved in her family and friend's lives, whether she's welcomed or not, and attempts to manage almost every community event in Arlen because of her need to social climb. Needless to say, most people that come across Peggy Hill find her to be obnoxious and try to avoid her or knock her down a peg.
• Only Known by Their Nickname: She's never called by her real name, "Margaret".
• Only Sane Woman:
  • ZigZagged. Although she occasionally does have to let Hank know when he's being a jerkass, for the most part he's nicer, more competent and more practical than she is, and regularly has to rescue her from the results of her own zany schemes. However, there have been times where Peggy is able to function in a situation a lot easier than Hank does, either due to his willing inability to deal with emotions or because it's some cultural event that clashes with Hank's "old days" mind set.
  • The best example of this played straight is when Peggy learns that Hank has paid sticker price for every car he's bought for the past twenty-five years. For years, Hank was led to believe he was being offered "special deals" on the cars until Peggy got involved in buying a new car and watched Hank pay full price on a car she was going to pay $2,500 less on.
• Parental Substitute: To Luanne, to the point that some first time viewers assume that Luanne is Bobby's sister. It even passes down to Luanne's daughter who Peggy dotes on just like a grandmother would.
• Plucky Girl: Nothing gets Peggy down for long.
• Pride: Be it substitute teacher, housewife or softball player, Peggy can't see herself as not the best.
• Pretentious Pronunciation: Her Spanish pronounciation is all over the place that almost makes her sound a bit racist if not dumb, often wanting to show off her Spanish skills and wowing the people who have really no clue how to speak in Spanish themselves.
• Progressively Prettier: In the beginning of the series, Peggy had eyes that almost looked like dots and was drawn rather plain. Later seasons had her with a more bright-eyed look and with more vivid coloring with a touch of raspberry-colored lipstick.
• Retcon: Peggy went from being born in Montana and raised in Arlen to being born and raised in Montana. This complicates episodes that have Hank and Peggy as High-School Sweethearts.
• She Cleans Up Nicely: Peggy (even in the earliest episodes) was never ugly (despite Dale, Kahn and Minh's assertions to the contrary, though that's them being jerks), but she has always been depicted as rather "plain Jane", if not bordering on masculine. But episodes like "Peggy's Pageant Fever" and "Ho Yeah!" prove that she's very attractive when all dolled up.
• Shoe Size Angst: Several episodes have her ashamed of her size 16 feet. Eventually though, she comes to terms with it.
• Small Name, Big Ego: She seems to think she's some kind of giant in the teaching world, despite being a small town substitute who won an inconsequential local award twice in a row.
• Smarter Than You Look: There is evidence that suggests that she's pretty clever, it's just that her ego is so big that it hardly ever shines through.
• Too Dumb to Live: In "Fun with Jane and Jane", Luanne manages to escape a cult posing as a sorority. Peggy, who's currently hung up on the fact that she has no friends, drags Luanne back and even joins them herself, not knowing or caring that they plan on sending the girls off to a farm to make preserves.
• Took a Level in Dumbass: She started off smarter and more sensible than Hank. Post-Flanderization, she's a clueless Know-Nothing Know-It-All.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: In Seasons 1 and 2, Peggy was a genuinely nice, if quirky, housewife. In Season 3, she started to show a little ego, but was otherwise the same. From Season 4 onward, she's a huge Know-Nothing Know-It-All, and often an inconsiderate jerkass.
• Verbal Tic: In the earlier seasons, and somewhat in the later seasons, Peggy doesn't use contractions. According to the episode, "I Remember Mono", her mother made it a rule that she wasn't allowed to use them in the house.
• Violently Protective Girlfriend: She will not let anyone disrespect Hank; even her own son will get a rough noogie if he tries.
• "Well Done, Daughter!" Girl: After Peggy's mom was retconned from being an overbearing perfectionist housewife to a coldhearted rancher. Her mother apparently never forgave Peggy for abandoning their ranch, even after Peggy singlehandedly saved the ranch to prove herself.
• White Sheep: Of the Platter family: her mother is a frigid witch of a woman, her brother is in jail, and her father, while the least unlikeable, is very, very strange, often speaking in proverbs about cattle ranching. Peggy, by comparison, is a friendly, sociable housewife with a family and a co-equal marriage and partnership with a loving husband. She does have immense flaws, but coming from the suffocating Platter family, it's hard to blame her.
• With Friends Like These...:
  • Tends to fall into this at times when the situation benefits her ("Little Horrors of Shop" and "Racist Dawg" are two prime examples).
  • Much earlier in the show, Peggy used to associate with a group of unnamed housewives, but chances are she stopped doing so because their 1950s mentality when it came to talking about sex and the fact that they had nothing better to do but talk about clipping coupons didn't really click with her.
• Womanchild: Will sometimes act like a spoiled teenager. Even once mimicking Bobby when both were mad at Hank.
• Women Are Wiser: She tends to be more reasonable than the male characters.

Bobby Hill

Robert Jeffrey "Bobby" Hill

Hank: "That boy ain't right."

Voiced by: Pamela Adlon (English), Fujiko Takimoto (Japanese)

"To tell you the truth, Dad, that sounds boring. It's okay if you're into boring, but I'm not."

Bobby is Peggy and Hank's 13-year-old son, who wants to break into the entertainment business. Since he's kind of effeminate and has some strange interests (by his family's standards), Hank fears for the boy's future. He'll be all right, though.

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• Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Bobby feels this way at least one day of the year when Hank makes a whole birthday party for Ladybird.
• Athletically Challenged: He can't play sports to save his life, in stark contrast to his father, Hank, who was a star football running back in high school. At different times during the series, he tries his hand at softball, baseball, football, soccer, track, and wrestling and is terrible at all of them. The one exception is shooting, at which he excels.
• Beware the Nice Ones: It's rarely seen, but he does have his limits in patience, and it usually involves someone pushing him to anger. Just ask his bullies in "Bobby Goes Nuts", and especially Hank when he didn't realize how much he was annoying Bobby during an attempt at self-defense training; the kick was so hard Hank passed out in sheer pain and was basically disabled for the rest of the episode.
  • Also note the time when he caught Joseph kissing Connie. Bobby furiously punched his bigger, more muscular friend in the nose. Twice!
• Big Eater:
  • His appetite is as bizarre as it is large. Cotton, in charge of a boot camp, once attempted to punish Bobby for his appetite by making him eat a stack of leftovers and run-off. Bobby didn't mind in the slightest.
  • In another episode, where Bobby started eating at a New York Style deli, he wound up getting gout from the food. Even when his gout got so bad he couldn't walk and needed a scooter to get around, he still kept going back for more.
  • He once ate a 72-ounce steak in under an hour to spite his vegetarian girlfriend he broke up with. He did get sick after eating it, though.
  • Getting sick after eating something ridiculous seems to be a pattern with Bobby: he once devoured an entire platter of lutefisk, and as a result befouled the church bathroom so strongly that it led to the whole church burning down. Cotton had lit a match to cover the stench, and the smoldering stub touched off the fire, leading to him very nearly being arrested for arson. "Look for the man with the terrible smell!"
• Big Fun: A rotund boy who likes comedy, music and dancing.
• Book Dumb: His grades tend to hover around the C and D range, and a few episodes focus on his failing a class or exam. But he also has an encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture and arcane trivia.
• Boyish Shorts: Bobby through the whole series rarely wears anything but short pants, as he calls them. He often shows a lack of knowledge and naivety, and is easily manipulated or persuaded into getting himself into scrapes his father has to remediate. Even as he gets older and more thoughtful compared to the past, he's still less mature than his father Hank who is almost never seen in anything but pants.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: His dad and neighbors don't think much of him because he's a dull-witted, vaguely effeminate chubby kid with a strange sense of humor. But Bobby has shown a broad range of talents over the years.
  • He's a crack shot with a gun. He's so good that he carries Hank though a shooting competition, scoring a perfect shot every time while Hank struggles to hit the target.
  • Has hints of the potential to be a professional level golfer, making a hole in one on his first attempt.
  • Bobby is a great cook and baker.
  • The final episode ("To Sirloin With Love") shows that he's a genius at grading meats.
• Camp Straight: Even without Hank's rigid view on masculinity, Bobby's interests and mannerisms are feminine, such as tending roses and skipping around, but he also fancies himself something of a KidAnova and dates several girls over the course of the show.
• Character Catchphrase:
  • "I was just trying to help". It's actually a fairly depressing one to have since it's always said after Hank gets angry with him.
  • Another is "Look! I'm X" usually while doing an impression or wearing a costume. His quotation above being one example of many.
  • He usually responds to many conversations with a lethargic or enthusiastic "okay" to the point where it's a lowkey catchphrase.
• Characterization Marches On:
  • Bobby was initially a slow, confused kid who didn't have much in the way of personality. His effeminate characteristics and odd charisma quickly became his defining traits.
  • He used to have a slight interest in sports (and was a soccer player once, to Hank's chagrin) and was especially knowlegeable on the Cowboys (though his fanatic dad, of course) with only his lack of talent for sports driving a wedge between him and Hank. This later was dropped by Bobby never having an interest on sports of any kind and left his lack of talent that made Hank just sigh in disappointment but make it a Serious Business whenever Bobby did show some interest.
• Cheerful Child: In one episode, Hank remarks that every time a bully starts after Bobby, he does some prop comedy, like sticking French fries up his nose, and makes friends with the bully. Of course, Hank considers this to be disappointing.
• Chick Magnet: Oddly enough. Mostly attributable to his confidence and charisma.
• The Chosen One: Bobby may or may not be the reincarnated spirit of the Lama Sanglug.
• Cloudcuckoolander: He's in a world all his own most of the time. It's the reason that Hank says "that boy ain't right" quite a bit. In general, when Bobby gets into something — environmentalism, religion, animal rights — he tends to believe all of the intangibles the moment he starts. This leads to someone else having to either explain to Bobby what's really going on or let him crash back down to Earth.
• Even Nerds Have Standards:
  • One of the disputes he has with Connie is that she is a bookworm. They both have a laugh at how geeky both of their attempt to break up is: Bobby took Hank's advice on how to fire people and Connie wrote a short essay to explain it.
  • Bobby sees a bunch of men in their twenties trying to cast a spell on him after refusing to drink dog's blood, and admits that even he wants to give them wedgies.
• Fat Idiot: He isn't the brightest bulb in the box, although this varies per episode. Generally speaking, Bobby's grades in school are pretty bad, but he has a lot of knowledge about trivia and things he's genuinely interested in.
• Foil: To his own father. Hank is practical, straight-laced, and emotionally repressed. Bobby is showy, laidback, and extroverted. The show alternates between Hank teaching Bobby lessons and Bobby teaching Hank, as their virtues compensate for each other's defects. Often Hank will learn from Bobby's confidence and adaptability, while Bobby will learn from Hank's old fashioned principles and worldly wisdom.
• Four-Philosophy Ensemble: originally the apathetic, but throughout his Character Development he’s shown shades of the optimist, the realist, and the conflicted.
• Freudian Excuse: With an emotionally distant father like Hank, and a rather borderline insane mother like Peg, a lot of Bobby's actions and personality could be explainable.
• Geeky Turn-On: In "Rodeo Days", after seeing a rodeo clown do an acrobatic stunt:
  "Wow, I don't think even Kerri Strug could do that while wearing cowboy boots. Mmm … Kerri Strug in cowboy boots …"
• Graceful Loser: Really doesn't let defeat get him down too much. A great example is when he and Hank enter a shooting competition together and place second. Hank is embarrassed at failing, though Bobby is just happy they did that well in their first competition.
• Improbable Aiming Skills: Best shot in the family, to the point that he and his dad get second place in a shooting competition in spite of Hank being a relatively bad shot.
• Innocent Bigot: Downplayed.
  • He learns a lot of comedy from his surroundings, but he doesn't always get why people are laughing. He'll occasionally bust out an anti-semitic caricature^note "Whaddaya talkin' about?" because it makes people laugh, and he doesn't know what Judaism is and is really just mimicking classic Borscht-Belt shtick he's heard before (He's met Gary, but he assumes Gary talks and acts different because he's from Arizona.)
  • This is especially highlighted in "Traffic Jam". First makes a lot of jokes about white people because he hears other people doing it. Then, upon being told he should be telling jokes about his own "white roots", he finds a white supremacist website and uses that as material for jokes. In front of a predominantly black audience.
• Kavorka Man: Despite being short, chubby, effeminate, and incredibly immature (even for his age), Bobby is very successful with the ladies due to his charisma and good sense of humor.
• Keet: Bobby is almost always as a almost happy-go-luck kid with a good heart.
• Kiddie Kid: Even when he is supposed to be 14 years old by the end of the series, he occasionally acts very childish. This is mainly a case of Depending on the Writer; in some episodes he is fairly intelligent and mature and in others he is incredibly whiny, foolish, and immature. The 13th season has some of the worst offenders, with episodes like "Master of Puppets" and "Reborn on the Fourth of July".
• Like Father, Unlike Son: Hank is an emotionally withdrawn man who loves sports, expresses disdain for anything not "normal", essentially worships propane and expresses hate for New York and California. Bobby is an overemotional boy who loves comedy and showmanship, is open-minded to anything new, has no interest in propane whatsoever and would love to live in New York or California. Hank would really love for his son to be more like him.
• Made of Iron: Or as Hank puts it, mush. Cotton repeatedly tries to break Bobby's spirit in a boot camp by overfeeding him with leftover food mixed with one another, have him sit on an ice cube with just underwear on, and imprison him inside a small concrete cell for three days. Despite all this, Bobby brushes them all off with ease, all in an effort to build him up into a man. Hank explains that he's like mush- You can't build it up, but it's all give and you can't break it down either.
• The McCoy: Pretty much completely driven by impulse.
• Money Dumb: Another of Bobby's faults is that he doesn't understand the value of money and is clueless about what his family can and can't afford, not because he's spoiled but because he genuinely doesn't know. It becomes a plot point in some episodes as Hank tries to get him to understand, but the lesson goes over his head; ironically, while Hank wants his son to get the message, he's hesitant to discuss the family's finances with Bobby, believing he is too young. It comes to a head in "Rich Hank, Poor Hank" when Bobby finally learns his lesson after stealing the family credit card on a shopping spree, forcing Hank to break the truth to his son.
• Morality Pet: For Cotton; he has no problem giving his grand-kid positive reinforcement (unlike his own son Hank) and is willing to take the fall for anything bad Bobby does.
• Mistaken for Gay: (Possibly) by Hank, who doesn't understand why his son doesn't like sports or anything considered "manly" (though the last episode "To Sirloin with Love" does reveal one manly thing he can do that doesn't embarrass Hank: grill beef). Various episodes have shown that Hank may harbor suspicions that his son is gay, as he's noticeably relieved when Bobby shows interest in Connie. Bobby's flamboyant personality and penchant for putting on wigs and women's clothes don't help his case, either.
• Nice Guy: Bobby is a laid-back, good-natured sweetheart.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Bobby's actions in "Born Again on the Fourth of July" are directly responsible for the residents of Rainey Street and Milton Street to escalate their rivalry to a full-blown war. In his defense, he does try to fix things once he sees the results of his actions.
• Not Allowed to Grow Up: Unlike several of the other younger characters (most notably his best friend Joseph), Bobby never appreciably ages at all during the show's run. Some reports indicate that this is due to the producers' fondness of his voice actress, Pamela Adlon, whom they would have to replace if Bobby's voice broke. (Brittany Murphy, who played Joseph, remained part of the cast as her main character Luanne so him aging out of her voice range wasn't a concern.)
• Older Than They Look: He is 11-13 during the show's run, but he never hits puberty, so looks (and most of the time, acts) like he's around 10 years old.
• Only Known by Their Nickname: The only time his full name is shown was on a shelf. Apparently, his other nickname is "Butch", though that's never been used elsewhere, either. Averted with Coach Lucas, who calls him "Robert" a couple of times. Gilbert (Bill's effeminate cousin) is also an aversion, though he calls him "Robert" in an exaggerated Cajun French accent.
• Only Sane Man: When Joseph and Dale both thought that Joseph was sired by aliens, Bobby was dragged along by Joseph on a misadventure out into the desert to reunite with his people, all while trying to convince Joseph that doing so was a REALLY bad idea. Lampshaded by Hank, who at the end of the episode, tells Bobby that "I guess you had your own idiot man-child to deal with" (referring to Dale, in Hank's case).
• Real Men Cook: Despite being mostly a C and B student, one episode had him getting an A in home economics because of, among other things, his surprisingly good cooking skills. Hank, usually quick to criticize Bobby for whatever new fad he gets into, actually encourages Bobby to develop this talent, partly for self-reliance reasons and partly because he really enjoys the food. It actually makes Peggy jealous.
• Soapbox Sadie: He frequently gets invested in various social and/or political causes. Rather than being used to deliver Author Tracts, his activism is handled fairly realistically; like your average 13-year-old, he's admirably idealistic and passionate, but he's also ill-informed and myopic, usually just wholeheartedly buying into whatever his peers or teachers tell him to believe without applying any critical thinking to the matter.
• Strong Family Resemblance: In his flashbacks, Cotton looks like an older, taller, fitter Bobby. His facial resemblance to Hank is likewise much more obvious in flashbacks to when Hank was younger. Though a coincidence, Cotton's shins loss only makes the resemblance more apparent.
• Too Dumb to Live: Sometimes, he does get involved in a lot of things that he knows are bad, but goes along with it as he's trying to find a hobby/interest that won't disappoint his father. He's also shown really poor judgment when it comes to animals, such as playing with a colony of fire ants or trying to befriend a raccoon.
• Too Kinky to Torture: Subverted. When Cotton thought Hank was being overly-coddling towards Bobby, he enrolled him in military school, became the headmaster, and subjected Bobby to various disciplinary methods straight out of Guantanamo Bay to toughen him up. The subversion comes from the fact that while Bobby didn't like it, he was so cool about the whole situation that none of it bothered him.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Fruit pies, though given his huge appetite, he'll eat pretty much anything.
  "You had me at 'fruit pies'."
• The Unfavorite: In the majority of the time, Hank doesn't like any of what Bobbie does unless it's something that connects real well with Hank. Hank does prefer his son over Luanne, who wishes she could move out of the house, but his emotional strictness and belief that any lifestyle that isn't his leads to tragedy looks make him hard for Bobby to see it.
• Vegetarian for a Day: He temporarily went vegetarian to impress a girl, but she eventually dumped him. He then ate a 72-ounce steak just to spite her... and got sick from eating so much meat.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: Bobby sometimes tries to make his father proud of him when it appears that Hank doesn't love him enough. He became terrified of the idea of having a baby sibling because he thought the only reason Hank and Peggy were proud of him was because he didn't have any siblings to be compared to (as Hank has a narrow urethra and a low sperm count, making it extremely difficult for them to have another child). The very first episode actually stated that Bobby was afraid Hank doesn't love him all the time - which is entirely untrue, Hank is just emotionally stunted.
• Wise Beyond Their Years: Despite Bobby being a bit of an airhead at times, he has shown himself to be surprisingly observant, insightful, and philosophical at many points. He even helps Hank get over a decades long trauma with minimal effort ^note Hank blaming his youthful hubris as the reason why God punished him at the championship football game with a Career-Ending Injury, even though it was just a coincidence - Bobby points out that he's been happy before with no consequences.
  Hank: He may only be 13 years old, but Bobby's onto something with this 'it's okay to be happy.'
• Your Size May Vary: How short Bobby is tends to vary per episode. In most episodes, he seems to reach Hank's armpit or shoulder, but in others, he barely reaches Hank's stomach.

Luanne Platter

Luanne Platter Kleinschmidt

Voiced by: Brittany Murphy

"Class was cancelled today and the library was closed. I love college!"

Luanne is Peggy's niece, the daughter of her brother Hoyt. The Hills take her in early in the show's run, partially to get her away from her horrible mother Leanne. She shows a fair bit of skill in car repair during the early episodes and an ability to think for herself in a crisis at times, but is generally depicted as not being the sharpest knife in the drawer. She marries Elroy "Lucky" Kleinschmidt in "Lucky's Wedding Suit" and has a baby daughter by him named Gracie in "Monkey See, Lucky Do."

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• Acquired Situational Narcissism: In "My Hair Lady", where she gets a job as a hair stylist at a trendy salon, and "Manger Baby Einstein", where she becomes the star of a series of direct-to-DVD children films featuring her Manger Baby puppets.
• Beware the Nice Ones:
  • Despite her lack of intelligence and sometimes childish behavior, Luanne's proven to be a force to be reckoned with. Her highlights include how she handled the Hills' collective cigarette addiction, threatening Cotton for sexually harassing her, tackling an irate softball player to keep her from attacking Peggy, dealing with a trio of freeloading housemates, her competency at boxing (fighting Freeda Foreman, no less), deciding to have her baby her way rather than listen to what others want her to do, and forcing everyone to give her the wedding gifts she never received.
  • "Peggy's Pageant Fever" is a prime example of Luanne being mean on purpose. When Peggy dumps her for a professional stylist, Luanne starts nonchalantly doing things to screw with Peggy's daily routine. Although by the end credits, they've made up and Peggy lets Luanne use her hair to prepare for her beauty school classes, even though Peggy now has hair like a troll doll. The moment Luanne's out of the room, she starts evilly snickering to herself with clasped hands because she did it on purpose.
• Brainless Beauty: Despite her good looks, she's a complete ditz at least 90% of the time. Multiple episodes revolve around her getting her way because of her attractiveness and not realizing it.
• Buxom Beauty Standard: Luanne's large breasts are two major reasons Joseph is attracted to her.
• Close-Call Haircut: Her hair is singed off in the Mega-Lo Mart explosion at the end of Season 2. Very notable in that, while other cartoons would have Luanne's hair fully grown by the next episode, this show actually showed her hair slowly growing back over the course of several episodes.
• Cool Big Sis: While they're technically cousins, Luanne more often than not views Bobby as a little brother and is frequently quite supportive, friendly, enthusiastic, and even doting towards him.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: She's a sweet-natured ditz with a big heart and a thick skull, both of which made her able to go the distance against George Foreman's daughter Freeda in the boxing ring.
• Damsel in Distress: Her naïveté and status as The Ingenue has gotten her into trouble, forcing Hank, Peggy, and others to come to her rescue on more than one occasion.
• The Ditz: Most of the time, she's absentminded and scatterbrained.
• Dude Magnet: Largely owing to her physical appearance, because she sure isn't winning anyone over with her intellect.
• Dumb Blonde: In later episodes. In the early episodes, she had some smarts (i.e., she knew how to fix a car and she was good at styling hair), but she wasn't like Lisa Simpson when it came to brains.
• Edible Theme Naming: Is named after the Lu Ann combo platter from the Luby's chain of cafeterias.
• Four-Philosophy Ensemble: The optimist.
• Four-Temperament Ensemble: The Sanguine.
• Freudian Excuse: The way Peggy sort of began to dominate her life by making nearly all her decisions, as well as Luanne's gradually growing stupidity, could be seen as instigated by the way her birth mother walked out of her life for good after she tried to kill Peggy. With Leanne's permanent absence, Luanne latched onto Peggy as a permanent substitute for a mother figure and started regressing to a more childlike intellect. This stopped (granted she's still dense) after she became a mother herself, and decided that she needed to stop relying on Peggy for everything in order to raise her child with Lucky and give her the childhood she'd been denied.
• Genius Ditz: Despite her "dumb blonde" persona, Luanne is a pretty skilled mechanic. In the pilot episode she fixes Hank's truck. In another episode she fixes Cotton's Cadillac when he comes to visit. She is seen fixing other vehicles at points throughout the series.
• Genki Girl: She's a very eccentric and cheerful girl most of the time.
• Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Young, sweet, innocent (how much is innocence and how much is just plain stupidity is admittedly an exercise for the reader), and blonde.
• Happily Adopted: Even though she's a young adult and isn't literally adopted by the Hills, she's got a tenuous relationship with her birth parents: while she at least considers her incarcerated father as being a part of her life (as much as he's able to be), she justifiably rejects her mother as an abusive drunk and all but explicitly considers Peggy and Hank to be her actual parents.
• The Ingenue: Luanne is unfailingly naive, pure of heart, and convinced of the goodness in others, all of which often gets her into trouble with people who would put her into danger.
• Innocent Fanservice Girl:
  • In one episode, she starts a Bible study class at her swimming pool. She thinks that she's reaching out to people; in reality, her "students" (including local pervs Buck Strickland, Lane Pratley and Joseph Gribble) just want to see her in a bikini and enjoy the "fellowship hugs" she gives out as rewards.
  • Same thing when she got into boxing. She doesn't learn until too late that the only reason guys come to see her fight is because they have a fetish for seeing a hot, under-dressed woman box.
  • In "The Nut Before Christmas" she responds to Wally staring at her chest with "Quit trying to read my T-shirt!"
• Kindhearted Simpleton: She has a big heart and a minuscule brain.
• Like Father, Like Daughter: Ironically, Luanne has a lot more in common with Hank than his actual son, especially considering the initial animosity from Hank. They're both good mechanics and they both generally (try to) see the good in others, often to their detriments.
• Likes Older Men: Luanne is around 20 and marries Lucky, who is 35. However, she does draw the line at Buck because he is old enough to be her grandfather.
• Longest Pregnancy Ever: Announces she's pregnant in a 2006 episode and finally gives birth in an episode that airs three years later. Amazingly, she never shows any physical signs of it until that episode, save for talking to her stomach at times.
• Mama Bear: Inverted with Peggy. Luanne full-body tackles major league ball player Kurt Bevacqua’s wife before she can attack Peggy.
  “Aunt Peggy, watch out!”
  • Even before she gives birth and becomes a mother, she's adamant to raise her daughter her way, rather than how her aunt and sister-in-law want her to raise her.
• Ms. Fanservice: If a guy gets near her, it's because of this. She is too much of a Dumb Blonde to tell that she likes exposing her body too much. Her Bible-reading class becomes over-saturated with men because she happens to give these speeches while in a bikini. And then she's briefly replaces Nancy as a TV weathercast woman because she accidentally wore a green dress that got mixed with the green screen, but her white chest showed off her bust, much to the TV hosts' perverted delight.
• Nice Girl: Luanne is a real sweetheart.
• Obliviously Beautiful: Luanne fails to recognize time and time again the kind of attention she garners is due to how physically attractive she is.
• Odd Friendship: Bonds with Bill over their barber skills in "My Hair Lady." She even gets fired trying to stand up for him to their boss. This actually extends as far back as Season 1's "Plastic White Female," though it's never really foregrounded.
• Pair the Dumb Ones: Dumb Blonde Luanne eventually marries Lucky, a typical redneck with no education and no common sense.
• Prone to Tears: She cries a lot and for a lot of reasons. Calling her dumb is a guaranteed way to start the waterworks.
• Punny Name: Luanne shares her full name with a dish at Southern cafeteria chain Luby's: The "Lu Ann" Platter.
• Southern Belle: A modern take on her. Blonde, beautiful (if a bit vapid) but firmly on the Bonne end of the spectrum since she is kind, generous, and hospitable.
• Took a Level in Dumbass: By the time Season 2 aired, she had done some serious level grinding, and it got worse from there.
• The Unfavorite: It's not subtle how Hank initially doesn't like her taking over his den and how much it irritates him that she can't move out from the house because she's not capable to do so financially. He eventually comes around to the idea of her staying with them without protest as he becomes closer to her.
• Vocal Evolution: Her voice is deeper and gruffer in the early episodes before changing into a higher-pitched Simpleton Voice.
• "Well Done, Daughter!" Girl: She wants nothing more than for Hank to express affection for her, and is constantly trying to impress him and do nice things for him. To his credit, he does love her, he's just very emotionally stunted.
• White Sheep: Her father is in jail and her mother is an abusive drunk. Luanne, despite that, is a lovely young woman. Having Peggy and Hank as her actual parents after they took her in had a lot to do with that.
• Womanchild: Luanne has a very childish demeanor, and it shows in her gullibility and immature antics.
• Wrench Wench: Part of her initial characterization. In the pilot, after Hank spends most of the episode trying to find out why his truck won't start, she offhandedly mentions she borrowed it, noticed the fuel filter was clogged and blew it clear. When Hank's truck is seized as evidence and taken apart after a junkie tries to steal it, she puts it back together. While her skill in mechanics starts to become less prominent, she does retain a love for trucks - notably, it's Lucky's truck that makes her notice him.

Ladybird

Hank's and the Hills' old female dog. It is no exaggeration to think Hank likes her more than Bobby or Luanne.

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• Berserk Button: Goes completely wild whenever she hears very loud noises. In a bit of a Bittersweet Ending, after so much strife to keep herself from biting people around her, she finally calms down, only because she becomes deaf.
• Big Friendly Dog: While not exactly that big, she is portrayed as such and very rarely hurts others. The one time she was shown to be aggressive is when she is protecting the family, or, in Hank's case, reacting to his loathing of repairmen.
• Famous Ancestor: Her mama tracked down James Earl Ray.
• Heroic Dog: In "Racist Dawg", Ladybird didn't get an issued command to drag a sleeping Bobby out from a lethal gas leak in their house at night. She did it anyway, but nobody mentions it (they were more concerned by Bill performing CPR with his nacho-filled breath).
• Mistaken for Racist: "Racist Dawg" has everyone believe that Ladybird is violently racist towards black people (and connect the dots that Hank must be too, as dogs take after their owners) after attacking a black repairman. In the end, it turns out Hank subconsciously loathes repairmen, regardless of their color, for doing his "job" at the house, and thus Ladybird lashes out violently at them.
• Morality Pet: While Hank is a typically moral person who cares about everyone he is only openly affectionate to Ladybird.
• Named After Someone Famous: Named after Ladybird Johnson, wife of Lyndon Baines.
• Old Dog: She was brought home as a puppy before Bobby was conceived, meaning she's at least 14 years old by the show's end. This puts her right at the tail end of a bloodhound's lifespan, which averages 10-12 years.
• Perpetual Frowner: She wears a perpetually world weary expression, regardless of what's going on. This is very much Truth in Television as far as bloodhounds are concerned.
• They Have the Scent!: Hank made her get Bobby's scent from a fruit pie when he ran away. She led him around in circles until a man told him he'd seen Bobby.

Other Hills

Cotton Hill

Colonel Cotton Lyndall Hill

"I got my shins blown off in Japan. Don't tell me about your problems."

Voiced by: Toby Huss

"I killed fitty men!"

Hank's father, a crotchety old man who doesn't seem to approve of anything Hank does. This war vet can never stop talking about how he killed "fitty" (50) men while in service. When it comes to impulsiveness, he's even got Peggy beat. Heaven help Hank. His last appearance in the series sees him die from a horrible accident (or as he puts it, Tojo finally got him).

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• Abusive Parents: Emotionally, to Hank. In "Unfortunate Son", he openly mocks Hank in front of his war buddies for being unqualified to enlist in Vietnam due to his narrow urethra. In "How to Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying", he's shown forcefully teaching Hank how to shoot a rifle... at age three, with Cotton yelling "Close your other eye, or I'll POKE it out!!". Yeah, it's easy to see where Hank got his anger issues from.
• Artistic License – Medicine: It's pretty much impossible to sew someone's feet to their knees, as Cotton claims resulted from his war injuries. There are simply too many muscles, nerves and blood vessels in the leg and feet for that procedure to be feasible, especially given the state of medical technology in the 1940s. The closest real life procedure is rotationplasty, where a foot can be attached to the thigh but rotated 180 degrees to facilitate the wearing of a prosthetic. Michiko even expresses surprise upon meeting Cotton again that "your feet did not fall off, as predicted."
• Asshole Victim: He was so awful to nearly everyone around him, even his own wife and son, that it's hard to cry for him when he died (See Character Death below).
• Ax-Crazy: It's a pretty fitting description for a man who thinks a loaded shotgun is the perfect birthday gift for a 11 year-old child.
• Beauty Equals Goodness: Inverted. He's one of the strangest looking characters in the series, and definitely one of the nastiest.
• Berserk Button:
  • Never call him a Nazi.^note Especially if you misuse the word "Nazi" to mean "someone who imposes allegedly unfair rules on you".
  • He seems to view most anything Japanese, with the exception of Michiko, the Japanese nurse who cared for him after the war, with disdain, as in "Death Picks Cotton" he views a Japanese restaurant with suspicion, and "Unfortunate Son" where he refuses to sell a canoe which (he claims) belonged to Hitler after discovering the potential buyer is driving a Mitsubishi, though this particular incident likely stems more from the Mitsubishi Company's reputation of having built many of Imperial Japan's war machines.^note It also doesn't help that Mitsubishi used Allied prisoners to perform forced labor for them during the war, similar to other Japanese industries at the time.
• Black Bead Eyes: His younger self did not have these. Whether he acquired them through old age or shell shock is unknown.
• Character Catchphrase: He killed "fiddy" men during the war. He might have mentioned that once or twice.
• Character Death: Dies from a combination of burns, internal injuries, and an allergic reaction to shrimp in "Death Picks Cotton".
• Cold-Blooded Torture: Claims he was subjected to this during WWII.
  • Uses this to extract confessions from Bill and Boomhauer during his "juice investigation" in "Daletech". He uses an electric juicer on Bill's chest hair, and nearly crushes Boomhauer under his own car.
• Colonel Badass: Even if half his stories never happened he still qualifies several times over, especially if he really did beat an entire island of Japanese soldiers to death with a dismembered leg of his friend, Fatty, after getting his shins blown off (even though he achieved the rank of colonel after the war as a National Guardsman).
• Colonel Kilgore: Loved killing Tojos and gutting Nazzies, though was technically not a colonel at the time.
• Demoted to Extra: In the first few seasons, Cotton appears in semi-frequently in cameos and flashbacks, with there usually being one or two Cotton-centric episodes per season. In the latter half of the series, Cotton shows up sporadically and his divorce happens off screen, despite him moving from Houston to Arlen.
• Determinator: Hank is fully aware that all of his badass war hero stories might be total bullshit, but one thing that is indisputably true is that the man lost his shins and was told he would never be able to walk again. 18 months later, he walked right up to the doctor who told him that and punched him in the kidneys.
  Hank: Now, I can't prove what he did at those battles. In fact, I don't even know if the part about hittin' the doctor is true, but I do know that my dad doesn't have shins. And somehow, he walks. And that's pretty heroic to me.
• Dirty Old Man: He was a womanizer in his younger days, and continues to act like one in his old age. He even goes so far as to grope Luanne, who's about one step away from being his granddaughter due to being all but officially adopted by Hank and Peggy.
• Domestic Abuse: Cotton doesn't abuse women physically (when Cotton saw Peggy in a body cast, he chastised Hank for allegedly beating her), but does sexually harass them by smacking them on the butt, thinks women are little more than housewives and sex objects, and tried to keep Hank's mom down by verbally abusing her and making her do demeaning things. In a flashback to when he was married to Tilly, he was shown one time using her as a foot stool. Another episode had Cotton smashing a sink full of dishes with a chair while screaming at Tilly.
  • He is also guilty of doing this to Didi who he constantly puts down.
• Drill Sergeant Nasty: Following Peggy's sky diving accident, Cotton, in a rare moment of sympathy, offers to take over her rehabilitation when her current method shows little if any progress. His idea of rehabilitation would make R. Lee Ermey cringe, but it gets incredible results, and ironically marks some of the nicest moments between Cotton and Peggy.
• Drives Like Crazy: To give you an idea, he stubbornly tried to pass a visual test but he completely blew it on every single letter.
  • God forbid he gets behind the wheel of a car while agitated. No mailbox, street sign, or pedestrian is safe.
    Cotton: "We'll see who can't drive their grandson at night without glasses or a license using a mop to press the peddles!"
• Dying Alone: One by one, Cotton's geriatric war buddies kick the bucket over the course of the series. At the start of the show, he's in the company of several, but they soon succumb to poor health, such as Fatty's titular obesity, until Topsy is the last one to go, leading to Cotton fulfilling his bizarre dying wishes. Then Cotton himself dies, after screaming at his son and driving him from the room, with only his much-hated daughter-in-law for company.
• Everyone Has Standards:
  • Cotton is an abusive father and husband. One time, he was even seen using Tilly as a footstool, and holds Peggy in ill regard. However, when he sees Peggy in her body cast following her near-fatal skydiving accident, Cotton immediately assumes it's Hank's fault and is disgusted with him.
  "Hank, what'd you do to your wife? I didn't teach you that!"
  • He may be politically incorrect, but he won't tolerate someone mis-identifying someone else's ethnicity. When Dale referred to Kahn as Japanese Cotton correctly identified Kahn as Laotian. When meeting Tilly's new boyfriend, he correctly identifies his surname as Jewish as says he had the honor of serving alongside a Jewish soldier in the war.
  • He can be mildly racist at times but he also hates Nazis. Which makes sense considering he was a WWII vet (albeit in the Pacific, not Europe). He's especially annoyed when Luanne's spoiled roommate calls him one.
• Evil Old Folks: On his worst days.
• Fat Bastard: Not as fat as most examples, but he's pretty rotund. And a huge bastard.
• Final Speech: Delivers one to Peggy, presumably to get as much hate as possible out before he goes:
  Cotton: "This was supposed to happen to you! You're worthless! You're not even good enough to be married to my worthless, nothing of a loser SON!"
  • Of course, he actually dies when Peggy gives back her own speech to him, presumably as his real last insult towards her.
  Peggy: "Enough! Your son has always loved you, despite your constant torture. You want to die alone? Fine. You want to keep coming back and never die? That's fine too. In fact, I hope you do go on living forever as the unhappy person you are in the hell you have created here on this earth. I hope you live forever. I really do."
  Cotton: *smirks* "Do you now?" *dies*
• Flirtatious Smack on the Ass: His primary method of communicating his opinions and needs to women, at least those he finds sexy.
• Fluffy the Terrible: If you really think about it, the name "Cotton" seems a little cutesy for an abusive bigot who killed fitty men in World War II.
• Glory Days: Cotton would like you to know that he killed fitty men during World War II. And he would have kept at it if the Japanese hadn't shot off his shins.
• Gonk: Looks like a beady-eyed, shrivelled-up troll. Including a medical history that's simply not credible.
• Groin Attack: Uses his shortness to his advantage and delivers these via headbutt.
• Grumpy Old Man: Oh, yeah. But you'd be grumpy too if you had to walk around with no shins and your feet sewn to your knees.
• Handicapped Badass: Had his shins blown off by Japanese soldiers in World War II, but still kicked ass and reached the rank of Colonel in the Texas Militia. Even in his advanced age he isn't someone you'd wanna mess with.
• Has a Type: Prefers women with plump rear ends, explaining why he married Tilly and Didi.
• Heroic Resolve: As Hank lampshades in one episode, Cotton may be a lying jackass, but it's an indisputable fact that the man survived having his shins blown off, an act which required an unfathomable amount of willpower, and then spent 18 months teaching himself how to walk with no shins, presumably out of sheer spite for the doctor who told him he'd never be able to walk again.
• Hey, You!: Cotton always refers to Peggy as "Hank's Wife", never bothering to call her by her actual name. This even extends to when he's trying to be nice to her.
• Hidden Depths: Despite having the mannerisms of a bigoted old man, Cotton's animosity is more a product of misplaced nationalism as he only really shows disdain for cultures that waged war against America. To that end, he's surprisingly fond of Jewish people (having served with one during his time in the army) and unlike the other characters knew Kahn was Laotian on sight rather than assuming him to be either Chinese or Japanese.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: Cotton has been a five-star Jerkass all his life, which eventually culminates when he revolts against a proposed dinner of leftover lasagna given to him by Peggy, which he finds completely inadequate. He and Bobby hightail it to the nice restaurant Hank, Peggy, Luanne and Lucky excluded the two of them from so they could have a double date. But then Cotton has a PSTD freakout against an innocent sushi chef at the sight of him juggling knifes for show, bellowing that he's a Tojo threatening to kill him. The chef (who is Mexican, by the way), unaware that Cotton's allergic to shrimp, accidentally flicks one into the advancing Cotton's mouth. This causes him to go in to shock, and Cotton falls onto the boiling hot surface of the chef's grill, immediately melting the soles of his shoes, and wreaking havoc on his delicate elderly frame. The resulting burns, allergic reaction, and internal injuries do irrecoverable damage to him and Cotton's condition slowly worsens, until he (eventually) dies.
• Home Guard: Joined the Texas State Militia after the war, eventually reaching the rank of colonel.
• I Was Quite the Looker: He was shown to be very tall and handsome during his war years. Then he got his shins shot off and by the time Hank was born, he looked like a brown-haired version of his present self.
• Identical Grandson: Looks like a much older version of Bobby.
• Improbable Age: He claims to have entered the military at 14. He claimed to have lied about his age when enlisting, but this itself may be an embellishment on Cotton's part.
• It's All About Me: In the episode where Hank has a Freudian Slip and tells Buck Strickland that he loves him, Cotton is actually offended, pointing out incredulously that Hank has never said those words to him... ignoring the constant degradation and abuse he heaped on Hank throughout Hank's life.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold:
  • Usually related to Bobby. Hank even puts that while Cotton hates most things, there's no doubt he loves Bobby. It's also seen that while he treats most women as objects, the one woman he is not seen doing this to is his old Japanese lover, Michiko.
  • Despite his almost constant claims to the contrary, it is implied he doesn't completely hate Hank; at one point when confronted with the question as to whether he truly wished Hank had never been born, his answer was a conflicted and somewhat chagrined "not yes!"
  • He was also incredibly overjoyed when Good Hank was born.
  • While he despises Peggy, he has helped her out in a couple instances. Like when Peggy got fired from her substitute teaching job for spanking an unruly student, Cotton successfully for her to the school board to get her job back. And he even helps Peggy to walk again after her skydiving injuries by putting her through Training from Hell. While pretty harsh, it still proves effective in the end.
• Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: After Hank confronts him over being born in New York, Cotton seems to feel guilty over him not being born a Texan and him and his war buddies appear to show Hank a good time the Texas way. But in reality, they were just using Hank as a patsy for their plans to assassinate Fidel Castro.
  • While on his death bed, he openly mocks Hank for daring to to tell his dying father that he loves him.
• Jerkass: And that's putting it mildly. The man is a selfish, sexist, emotionally abusive, verbally abusive asshole who treats everyone around him (except for Bobby) like utter shit. His daughter-in-law Peggy calls him out on his deathbed about what an asshole he is and always has been.
  Rev. Hubert: (to Hank) I'm not sure if there's a God, or a heaven, but one thing I can tell you: your daddy's going to Hell.
• Kavorka Man:
  • Despite being a Gonk, and having a less than appealing personality (and his shins "… blown off by a Japan man's machine gun"), he's been with three women that we know of: Hank's mother, a Japanese woman during WWII, and his current wife, Didi, who is a childhood friend of Hank's. Helps that he looked a lot better BEFORE his shins got destroyed.
  • He's admitted to bedding 273 women in the episode Junichiro was introduced. It's heavily implied in previous episodes that he's visited prostitutes a lot, which probably explains a good number of those women.
• Kick the Dog: Quite possibly the lowest he ever sank in the series was telling Hank, to his face, that he should have drowned himself two days after being born if Hank really knew what was best for him.^note Hank had a DMV clerk switch an eye chart to prevent his father from getting his license renewed. But Cotton is a horrible driver, and Hank only did it out of concern and care for him.
• Kick the Morality Pet: As much as Cotton loves Bobby, not even he is immune to Cotton's abuse. When Bobby stayed with Cotton during his parents' alone time together, Didi is about ready to have her baby, and as a result, she isn't able to do much. So Cotton makes Bobby do the chores around the house. He even calls Bobby a "woman". As a result, when Didi and Bobby end up alone, he hints to her he knows what kind of person his grandfather really is.
• Large Ham: And how! In "Shins of the Father" the first episode where he actually appears (not in a flashback), he arrives at Bobby's birthday party wearing a cowboy hat and riding a horse.

  Cotton: "Yep, I'm larger than life!"

• Laughably Evil: Well, "Laughably Jerkass" more likely than evil, but still. Cotton isn't someone you'd want to meet if he exists in real life, but he is hilarious to watch.
• May–December Romance: Between Cotton and Didi. He's in his seventies and she's roughly forty. Didi and Hank even went to kindergarten together.
• Miniature Senior Citizens: Justified by him losing his legs below the knees in the war, with corresponding loss in height.
• Morality Pet: The best way for Cotton to do good for someone is to have that someone be Bobby.
• Odd Friendship: He appears to genuinely like Dale, who in return respects him immensely and addresses him as "Colonel".
• Pants-Free: In "Returning Japanese" he is shown in his uniform shirt and hat but without pants. Also in his (live) debut episode "Shins of the Father".
• Parental Neglect: When he's not being abusive to women, he shows affection with a criminal disregard for his son's safety. When G.H. was less than a year old, he let him play with his loaded service pistol to learn to shoot,^note It's heavily implied he was going to use the service pistol to kill himself, and only let G.H. fire it off at the last minute so he wouldn't be tempted. and he gave Bobby a loaded shotgun for his twelfth birthday (and used the gun to shoot a piñata).
• Perpetual Frowner: He usually only smiles when he's recounting his war stories, or tormenting people.
• Pet the Dog:
  • Most of his scenes with Bobby amount to these. For all his faults, he genuinely loves and respects his grandson (though the first episode featuring Cotton is kind of debatable, as Cotton was teaching his grandson to treat women like sex objects by slapping their butts and making sexist remarks).
  • When he helped Peggy get her job back, and the time where he helped her in her rehab after the parachute incident. In the case of the former, he had no problem barking at her to make him 200 pancakes, but became visibly uncomfortable the moment she broke down sobbing.
  • When he politely asks Peggy for a photo of Hank and Bobby to show to Michiko during their trip to Japan. He even thanks her.
    • Doubled as a Pet the Dog moment for both of them, as Peggy actually defended Cotton's actions during the above mentioned trip to Hank, rationalizing that no one would cheat on their 40 year old wife with an 80 year old ex-girlfriend by showing her a picture of his son and grandson.
    • At the end of the Japan two-parter, when he notices Bobby seems depressed because he's leaving behind the girl he met, he immediately tells the cab driver to stop so Bobby can say goodbye to her.
    • Really, his entire relationship with Michiko. He loved her dearly, fought like a tiger to stay with her, and when they reunite, is nothing but gentle and respectful towards her. Especially considering his usual treatment of women, it's seen that he really did love her.
  • A small one. In a flashback, Hank and his friends were taken on a camping trip by their dads. Cotton led the Snipe Hunt with enthusiasm ("Not gonna sugar coat it: Some of you ain't comin' back"). Despite that, he kicked Eustice out of the group for talking during the Test of Silence and ordering the boy to get him a beer, seeing Cotton be involved in Hank's upbringing to any extent ^note (that doesn't involve Hank getting yelled at, insulted, or traumatized, as seen in the pilot episode where Cotton responds to Hank's skinned knee with, "I got my shins blowed off by a Japanman's machine gun, so don't come crying to me with your problems, "Square Peg" where a crying Hank is forced to watch a bull have sex with a cow while Cotton laughs, and the rifle-aiming flashbacks from "How to Shoot A Rifle Without Really Trying") is rare and touching.
  • "Next of Shin" also. He actually feels sorry for Hank being unable to get Peggy pregnant, to the point where he's willing to let Hank and Peggy raise Didi's child (though that part's certainly unfair to Didi). He also has a rare heart-to-heart talk with his son towards the end of the episode.
  • And odd example in "Bobby Rae." Hank tells Bobby that Cotton would take Hank to witness protestors getting their asses kicked by the police. While normally a Kick the Dog moment, Hank remembers these moments with wistfulness, thinking of these moments as his father taking him to a parade.
• Phony Veteran: One episode has Peggy realizing Cotton's war stories just didn't add up. Subverted As it's not that Cotton is a fake veteran, he's just that senile that he doesn't remember which battlefields he was sent to (and may possibly be exaggerating his own exploits, either deliberately, out of senility, or a bit of both). In one episode he's shown to have a Chest of Medals, including a Medal of Honor, so at least some of his stories must be true. At one point he begins telling a story about taking Munich, and when Peggy tells him he wasn't at Munich he replies with a genuinely confused and surprised "I wasn't?"
• Practically Different Generations: Ends up having an infant son, while already having a teenage grandson in Bobby.
• Punny Name: Named for the town of Cotton Hill, West Virginia.
• Obnoxious In-Laws: There's no love lost between him and Peggy, to the point that Cotton doesn't even bother calling her by her real name at all.
• Racist Grandpa:
  • Subverted. He's certainly not nice to anyone, but he does not antagonize people from countries America has not gone to war with as much, and does not use shallow stereotypes. He can tell at first sight that Kahn is Laotian, rather than making the same "Chinese or Japanese" assumption everyone else does. However, Cotton does think that Kahn is Hank's servant and orders him to make him a mai tai and get his luggage.
  • He doesn't seem to have anything against Jewish people either. The first thing he said to Gary Kasner after their introductions was "Happy Hannukah" and mentions he served with a Jew in the Pacific Theater.
  • On the other hand, he does seem to be less than fond of the Japanese until he discovers he has a half-Japanese son. When being examined by doctors to tell if he has senility and needs to be institutionalized, he attacks a Japanese doctor and takes his stethoscope for a war trophy.
• Rank Up: Apparently started as private in the U.S. Army, was promoted to some sort of leadership position in the Pacific and ended his career a colonel with the Texas National Guard.
• Real Award, Fictional Character: Throughout his appearances, Cotton's decorations are slowly revealed. In "Returning Japanese", his uniform includes the Medal of Honor and American Campaign Medal. In "Cotton Comes Marching Home", his Silver Star is shown in a display case in the Arlen VFW. In Season 12, he shown wearing the third class, Commandeur, of the French Legion of Honour, the highest decoration in France and only awarded to a handful of Americans during the war.
• Real Men Hate Affection: In his words, "Love's for sissies!"
• Really Gets Around: If his claim in the episode "Returning Japanese" is to be trusted, he's slept with 273 women.
• Reckless Gun Usage: In his first (live) appearance on the show ("Shins of the Father"), he uses a loaded rifle he gave Bobby as a birthday gift to blast open a pinata. In "The Father, The Son and J.C.", it's revealed that every Christmas, he and Hank buy a tree for decoration, and Cotton chops it down by shooting the trunk. Later, in that same episode, he fires a nail gun at former President Jimmy Carter's limo. And perhaps most heinous of all, he lets his newborn baby son G.H. fire a pistol in "When Cotton Comes Marching Home".
• Retired Badass: He's not in the army anymore, but even Hank is hesitant to give him a fight. At least part of that is childhood trauma, but mostly it's a recognition that Cotton can still kick his ass. He even knocked a young adult down with a headbutt after he called him a Nazi.
• Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: He's this BIG TIME. Hell, he didn't appear very polite in his younger days either.
• Shell-Shocked Veteran:
  • Dale and cops tend to view him as this, usually encouraging them to help him in his more ridiculous schemes without thinking.
  • A fit of PTSD when he sees a Hibachi chef juggling knives makes him jump on the grill table and fall onto it back-first, giving him a mortal wound.
• Sherlock Scan: Seconds after meeting Kahn, (and after a quick look), he determines that he's Laotian (not Chinese or Japanese as Hank and his friends assumed).
• Small Parent, Huge Child: Hank Hill is well over a foot taller than his father Cotton in the present day, but the reason Cotton is so much shorter is that his legs below his shins were surgically removed due to a war injury.
• Smug Smiler: When he does smile, it's a rather unnerving self-satisfied smirk.
• Spiteful Suicide: The last thing he does in life is to let himself succumb to his injuries to get back at Peggy's "The Reason You Suck" Speech (in which she told him that she hoped he lived forever in the hell his own spite had forged).
• Stealth Insult: He admits Hank is a better father than he ever was by way of a hilarious backhanded compliment. In all likelihood, he probably meant it as a sincere compliment too.
  Cotton: If it's a contest on who's the better daddy, you win! I mean, you made Bobby! All I made was you.
• Straw Misogynist: He is very chauvinistic. He mistreated both of his wives, can't be bothered to remember Peggy's name, smacks the behinds of nurses, waitresses or any attractive woman he may come across, and resents working women.
• Strong Family Resemblance: Looks exactly like an old version of Bobby, who unlike his son and his daughter-in-law he actually gets along with. The loss of his shins only makes the resemblance stronger.
• They Really Do Love Each Other:
  • Cotton and Didi get a few spread out through the series. When Cotton is awarded a grave in the Texas State Cemetery, Didi comments it's a beautiful grave and that he deserves it. And when Cotton leaves a pregnant Didi, he goes into a homicidal rage when Hank tells him she's found a new man. Hank even points out that he really loves her.
  • Cotton and Hank have some as well, such as in "Returning Japanese" when Cotton admits to Hank that he's a good son, and in a later episode, Cotton is unable to bring himself to say "yes" when cornered and asked if he truly wished Hank had never existed, much to his own chagrin.
• Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: With Didi. And with Tilly when she was younger.
• Undignified Death: After surviving battles against Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan in WWII, what finally does him in? An allergic reaction to a piece of shrimp that flew in his mouth and burns from a hibachi grill at a Japanese steakhouse. And just to top it all off, he ends up Dying Alone, his only company being a woman he absolutely loathes, and whom just finished telling him that he fully deserves everything that came to him.
• Unreliable Narrator: Certain recountings of Cotton's past are rather questionable. Sometime it's boasting sometime he is just confused.
  Cotton: You forgot Munich.
  Peggy: You were never in Munich.
  Cotton: I wasn't?
• Use Your Head: A favourite tactic of his and quite effective due to him missing his shins, since this places his head right at crotch level for most people.
• War Hero: He is a World War II veteran who killed 50 men and lost his shins to a Japanese gunner. He's been awarded both the Silver Star and the Medal of Honor.
• When He Smiles: A kind one at least, during his last days alive with Bobby. His smile looks like one finds in a grandparent instead of a sadistic, arrogant smirk.
• Younger Than They Look: Cotton was around thirty when Hank was born. In flashbacks seen in "Yankee Hankie" (set on the day Hank was born in 1959), he looks the exact same as he does in the present day only with brown hair. However, in scenes set only 15 years prior, he looks more like an extremely fit and slightly older version of Bobby.
• Your Size May Vary: Cotton was initially portrayed as a man who was once of average height but lost some of his legs and threw his proportions out of whack. Some episodes forget this, and show him requiring a booster seat, for instance, even though he should logically be a perfectly able-bodied adult from the waist up.

Tilly Hill

Matilda Mae "Tilly" Hill-Garrison

Voiced by:
Tammy Wynette (1997-1998)
Beth Grant (1998-1999, 2010)
K Callan (2000-2003)

Hank's mother and Cotton Hill's first wife.

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• Awful Wedded Life: Her marriage to Cotton was emotional hell.
• Cloudcuckoolander: She's certainly made some strange choices.
• A Day in the Limelight: "The Unbearable Blindness of Laying", "Escape From Party Island", and "The Honeymooners"
• Extreme Doormat: Was this throughout her marriage to Cotton.
• Freudian Excuse: Being married to an emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive man for years (Cotton once used her as an actual footstool), and only being able to seek comfort in glass figurines, may be the reason why in her later years Tilly makes spontaneous and often stupid and crazy choices. Now that she's free from Cotton, and no longer taking care of Hank, Tilly is free to live her life how she wants and is expressing out decades of repressed emotions, which channel into some questionable antics and an insensitive wild streak.
  Tilly: Maybe I am an idiot. Who cares?...I want to live on my own terms, Hank. I want to have fun while I can. Let the pieces fall where they may. Some things will work out well, some won't. At least it won't be boring.
• Glurge Addict: When trapped in a severely abusive marriage with Cotton, she became obsessed with unicorn figurines. Hank deeply loathes them until he realizes those figurines were the only thing that kept her going.
• Hidden Depths:
  • As the series goes on, it shows she has terrible choice in men, and is constantly making spur of the moment extreme decisions without thinking of the consequences.
  • Earlier in the show's history, though, Tilly admitted that she took several odd jobs during Hank's childhood, including a job as a taxi driver, in order to get out of the house. Hank simply believed that she was happily fulfilled in being a stay-at-home mom, and was quite shocked to learn this (when Tilly mentioned the taxi, Hank says that all he remembers is her owning a yellow car).
• I Was Quite a Looker: While she's not ugly (despite Cotton's claims), a flashback of Hank's birth shows her to have been a really pretty young woman with dark hair.
• Jerkass Ball: In "Escape to Party Island", Hank chaperones Tilly and her friends as they head to Port Aransas to see the miniature museum. Her friends not only criticize and berate Hank all throughout the trip, Tilly even enables it. Later on at a restaurant, she apologizes to the waiter because Hank didn't want a cucumber sandwich, as if he were a child rather than a middle age adult. And right as they get ready to leave the island, Tilly realizes she's forgot her miniature. When Hank finally loses his patience (between the other ladies and the spring-breakers) and tells her they're leaving, Tilly tells him off and leaves the car to get her miniature back.
• Long Bus Trip: She disappears from the series after one appearance in Season 5, and doesn't return until one of the unaired episodes almost 10 years later.
• Love Martyr: She really goes out of her way for the love of something, whether it's her figurine obsession or a whirlwind romance for a guy she's known for a few weeks.
• Nice Girl: Generally shown to be a sweet, if overly-passive, woman.
• Only Known by Their Nickname: According to Hank's birth certificate in "Yankee Hankee", her name is Matilda Mae Hill.
• Out of Focus: She appears far less than Cotton and is not introduced until well after he is. Although she made a handful of appearances in the first few years after her introduction, her absences became longer and longer as time went on to the point that it was easy to forget she existed.
• Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: While Cotton wasn't that bad-looking during his time in the army, by the time he married Tilly his appearance had already gone down the tubes. Couple that with his sharp temper, violent outbursts, misogynist beliefs, domestic abuse toward her, and parental abuse toward their son, it's amazing Tilly didn't divorce him far, far sooner.

Didi Hill

Deidre "Didi" Hill

Voiced by: Ashley Gardner

Cotton's 40-year-old second wife.

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• Abusive Parents: She seems to mean well, but her absent-mindedness and general stupidity results in her often neglecting G.H., including leaving him home alone because she simply forgot about him.
• Blatant Lies: In "The Texas Skillsaw Massacre", when Hank is accused of having anger issues (due to accidentally cutting off Dale's finder), Didi jumps on the Hank-bashing bandwagon by saying that he used to go around pinching all the other kids when they were in kindergarten together. Hank calls her a "bold-faced liar".
• Broken Bird: It's implied that Didi isn't happy in her marriage to Cotton but she's too meek to say anything about it. She seems confused and sad whenever she's on-screen.
• Candy Striper: Was one when she and Cotton first met.
• Characterization Marches On: Following G.H.'s birth, she had moments where she was more assertive with Cotton.
• The Ditz: Most of the time, it's not clear if she's even aware of what's going on around her. Strangely, it makes her perfectly suited for Cotton, who's free to be as obnoxious as he wants.
• Dumb Blonde: Hair of gold and very dim. Peggy calls her "Stupid". She even makes Luanne look bright.
• Extreme Doormat: Most of her scenes make her look more like Cotton's servant than his wife.
• May–December Romance: She's around the same age as Hank (Hank mentions that he went to kindergarten with Didi, and Didi asks Hank if he still likes finger-painting), yet was married to his father.
• Put on a Bus: In the Season 8 episode "Daletech", Cotton is seen screaming at her to call her lawyer as she drives away before explaining that she and G.H. have gone to her parents' house for a few months. Cotton's obituary claims her to be his ex-wife, confirming a divorce. She isn't seen again until a very brief appearance in the final season where the divorce never seemed to have happened, though it could be that they got back together before his death or he died before the divorce was finalized.
• Robo Speak: Speaks in a very monotone voice that makes it sound as though she's rehearsed whatever she's saying.
• Stay in the Kitchen: Cotton will never let her work, even if it would benefit their little family. In "The Final Shinsult" he breaks up with her simply because she got a job.
• Stepford Smiler: Implies several times that she isn't as happy as she seems, wishing that Hank would stand up for her.
• Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: She's a foot taller than Cotton, although that goes without saying considering Cotton Hill's lack of shins.
• Took a Level in Badass: Originally depicted as submissive and withdrawn, but as the series progresses, Didi begins to chafe under the yoke of Cotton's abuse and neglect of his family. She actually leaves him at one point, returning to him after Hank reconciles the couple in part so Cotton won't have to live in a nursing home. When G.H. is born, her resentment over being left to do all of the hands-on childcare while Cotton goes running around sometimes boils over and she demands that Cotton start taking care of his son, though it turns out that she is doing this in one case so she can do the family's laundry. Eventually, she gets fed up altogether, takes G.H., and divorces Cotton.
• Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: She's very good looking for her age while Cotton isn't good looking (or good-acting) for any age.
• What Does She See in Him?: After Cotton's death, she finally seems to acknowledge the fact that he was an awful man and has actually admitted that, since marrying her new husband, she barely remembers anything about him.
• When She Smiles: See the character image of her smiling? Yeah, that's a rare moment for her.

Junichiro

Junichiro

Voiced by: David Carradine

Cotton's Japanese son from a fling with Michiko, and Hank's older half-brother. Appearing in the Returning Japanese two-parter.

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• Accidental Misnaming: Cotton can never get his name right, which continues to irritate him.
• Calling the Old Man Out: And for good reason. He's not too pleased that his biological father decided to one day visit him, despite never being there for over fifty years of his life. He made his peace with him though.
• Extreme Doormat: Despite having the courage to tell off Cotton, he is submissive to the cultural norms of Japan. Hank helps him stand up for himself.
• Meaningful Name: His name means "Genuine First Son".
• Parental Substitute: He considers his stepfather Wataru, to be his real dad, as he married Michiko, despite her having a child with an American GI, out of wedlock.
• Strong Family Resemblance: More or less Hank if Hank was Japanese, even though Hank gets his looks from Tilly, who is of no relation to Junichiro.
• Took a Level in Badass: After encouragement from Hank, he becomes much more forceful and assertive, threatening to kick people's asses when overdone Japanese politeness impedes their search for Cotton.
• You Are Not My Father: He admits that he wished that Cotton and Michiko never met, even if it means he was never born. Although he forgives Cotton at the end.

G.H. Hill

Good Hank "G.H." Hill

"All right, all right, I'm callin' him G.H....Good Hank!" - Cotton

Voiced by: ???

Cotton's infant son with Didi, which makes him Hank and Junichiro's much younger half-brother and 13-year-old Bobby's infant paternal uncle.

---

• Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: After a certain point in the series, G.H. is never seen or mentioned again, including in the final appearances on the show of both of his parents.
• Flat Character: Somewhat justified due to being a baby. His only real role in the series is how other characters react to him. He never learns to speak, walk, and otherwise does not undergo any sort of character growth during the run of the series.
• Getting the Baby to Sleep: His on-screen debut episode revolves around this plot. Unfortunately, nobody seems to be even up to the task. Didi is in postpartum depression but isn't really mommy material to begin with, Cotton expects Didi to do most of the hands-on parenting and is repulsed that G.H. appears to be lactating. Hank is dealing with PTSD and guilt over talking Peggy into their ill-fated skydiving adventure, not that he's much more comfortable with baby care than his father is. Peggy is physically incapacitated by being in a full body cast from the skydiving accident, and resents the fact that Cotton and Didi were so easily able to conceive a baby they didn't even want while she and Hank were not successful. Bobby, having driven Didi to the hospital illegally and attended his uncle's birth, tries to take care of G.H. when it's clear that neither G.H.'s parents nor his own parents are going to do it, but finally snaps and says that one of the adults needs to step up. Unfortunately, their idea of stepping up is to leave the baby with Peggy, the only remotely maternal person among them, who is stuck with him and can do very little because she is in a full-body cast. She eventually gets him to sleep by rocking his bassinet with her toes, which are one of the few parts of her body that are not immobilized.
• Parental Favoritism: Cotton dotes on G.H. in a way he never did with Hank. Taken to an extreme, to the point where he was named Good Hank by his father just to spite Hank.
  Hank: Dad, this isn't right. You call him "Good Hank", it's gonna sound like I'm "Bad Hank".
  Cotton: Well, you burnt my burger, didn't you, B. H.
• Parental Neglect: From both parents. In one episode, Didi took a bus to Hank's house before she realized she'd left G.H. behind, then had to take a bus to go back and get him. Cotton is unwilling to do even the most basic tasks of baby care and leaves his family for hours on end even though he doesn't work. Even Cotton's more well-meaning attempts to be fatherly, such as having his infant son fire a pistol inside the family's rented room, are potentially dangerous.
  Didi: Colonel, I think the baby's crying. (G.H. is lying on the floor crying loudly.)
  Cotton: Well good job. Those parenting classes are startin' to pay off!
  Didi: Thank you. (She walks away while G.H. is still lying on the ground crying.)
• Strong Family Resemblance: G.H. looks very much like an infant version of his nephew, Bobby.
• Surprise Pregnancy: His parents never expected an 80 year old man to conceive a child, and he was also possibly the result of a broken condom. Nobody was happy about the pregnancy, either: neither of his parents wanted a child, and Hank and Peggy were trying unsuccessfully to conceive a baby and were jealous that Hank's elderly father was able to conceive a baby while trying to avoid doing so, and a baby he didn't want at that.

Gary Kasner

Voiced by: Carl Reiner

Tilly's Jewish boyfriend.

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• Alter Kocker: He's Jewish and speaks with a Yiddish accent. During his stay at the Hills, Bobby notices he has a funny way of speaking, and thinks it's due to being from Arizona.
• Beware the Nice Ones: He is normally a nice man, but as Cotton figured out the hard way, don't insult Tilly in his presence!
• Big Eater: He loves eating, to the point of ending up with a bypass and being prescribed a special diet that disallows most meats. He uses various excuses to get around it, such as counting chicken fried steak as "chicken" because he's allowed to have chicken, or eating seconds on Christmas because it's a special occasion.
• Cool Old Guy: A nice old man who gets along well with the Hills, and has a sweet relationship with Bobby.
• Coordinated Clothes: He and Tilly both wear matching blue tracksuits when they come to stay with the Hills for Christmas.
• Making Love in All the Wrong Places: He and Tilly have sex on the kitchen table after the family leaves to go to an elementary school basketball game, which causes Hank to go blind. While Tilly's feelings towards the situation are unknown, Gary himself feels bad about what happened and tries all he can to help Hank get his sight back.
• The Mentor: He takes Bobby under his wing on the eve of his 13th birthday, and recognizes how tired he is of being treated like a child. To seal their bond, he gives Bobby a fancy pen and pencil set, the same thing he got for his bar mitzvah.
  Gary: I hope you like it, I can't return it!
• Naked People Are Funny: His Mother's Day present to Tilly is him... without any clothes on!
• Nice Jewish Boy: A fun, jovial man who happens to be Jewish.
• Offscreen Breakup: Tilly breaks up with him several weeks prior to "The Honeymooners" as he correctly suspected her of cheating on him with Chuck Garrison.
• Sleeping Single:
  • Enforced in "The Unbearable Blindness of Laying." Hank is uncomfortable with Gary and Tilly sharing a room, or even the living room couch, both due to his uptight nature, and his paranoia about Gary. Instead, he forces Tilly to sleep in the den with Luanne, and Gary to sleep in Bobby's room. While a little upset about the situation, he does get along well with Bobby.
  • He seems to have his own condo in "I Don't Want to Wait" and voluntarily gives it up to Bobby for the week he's staying with them.

Chuck Garrison

Voiced by: William Devane

Tilly's new husband, who debuted in "The Honeymooners."

---

• Commonality Connection: He and Hank bond over their mutual love of tools, and their love for Tilly.
• Fourth-Date Marriage: He married Tilly after only knowing her for a few weeks. He didn't even know she was dating Gary until after they broke up, and regrets being the other man.
• The Loins Sleep Tonight: Tilly mentions during one of their arguments that he needs a prescription, to which he yells "not everyone's libido is the same!" It's implied to have been caused by their new RV lifestyle.
• Nice Guy: Despite Hank's paranoia, he proves to be a polite old man who enjoys hardware.
• Uptight Loves Wild: He fell in love with Tilly because of her wild streak, but this isn't always a good thing, as he quickly became exasperated with living in an RV, and wishing they could have the condo back.

Other Platters

Maddy Platter

Voiced by: Mimi Rogers ("Square Peg"), Joanna Gleason ("A Rover Runs Through It")

Peggy and Hoyt's ungrateful mother and Luanne's paternal and Bobby's maternal grandmother.

---

• Arranged Marriage: Tried to get Peggy to marry a wealthy ranch owner's son, but Peggy refused, apparently leading to their ranch's future closure when their cow trail got taken over (which Peggy later averted by herself).
• Berserk Button: Just being around Peggy sours her mood so bad.
• The Friends Who Never Hang: To date, she has never had a plot-line with her granddaughter Luanne.
• Granny Classic: A devoted housewife and loving, if somewhat overly affectionate grandmother.
• In-Series Nickname: In "Happy Hanks-Giving" Hank calls her "Mother Platter" instead of her name or "Mom."
• Jerkass to One: As Peggy notices, she seems to have mellowed out in present day and become more tender, especially towards her sons, but she still resents Peggy for running away, and acts highly critical towards her.
• Obnoxious In-Laws: She didn't think propane was an effective tool for cooking. Hank's motivation to getting to Montana was to prove her wrong.
• Parental Favoritism: Peggy claims that she favored Hoyt over her.
• Retcon: She first debuted as a regular decent mother who had a nice, if occasionally strained relationship with her daughter Peggy. Several seasons later, her entire backstory and Peggy's stance on her changed so drastically that she's portrayed as an ungrateful bitch who made Peggy's childhood a living hell and made Peggy distance herself from her mother for twenty years, which led to Peggy's characterization to change into a faulty person who believes she is right in everything she does.
• Spock Speak: In "I Remember Mono" she insisted that Peggy was not allowed to use contractions, which is Truth in Television, as they were believed to be considered improper. Unlike her daughter, she seems to have given this up in present day.
• Stay in the Kitchen: Originally followed this mindset, and imprinted it onto Peggy.
• Strong Family Resemblance: She used to look like an older Peggy, until her redesign happened in Season 9. Every appearance she makes following the aforementioned episode returns her to her original design however.
• The Talk: Could not bear to give Peggy this when she started puberty, and instead gave her a book called "The Loveliness of Woman" which consisted solely of flowers, the lesson being Lie Back and Think of England.
• Ungrateful Bastard: Anything Peggy does right, Maddy will scoff and scold her that she shouldn't feel proud of a problem Peggy caused in the first place (which Peggy never really did start). Not even saving their ranch was enough to make Maddy crack a smile.

Leanne Platter

Leanne Platter

Voiced by: Pamela Adlon

Luanne's alcoholic, ex-con mother. Was sent to jail for stabbing her husband Hoyt (Luanne's father and Peggy's brother) with a fork.

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• Abusive Parents: Her relationship with Luanne is shown to be negligent at best. She deprives her of attention, neglects to show up for the mother-daughter haircut at the beauty school along with Luanne’s Manger Babies puppet show, and would happily mooch off of her if she quit school and got a job.
• The Alcoholic: She's able to down an entire fridge of Alamo beer in just a couple of nights. And that's after rehab.
• Ax-Crazy: Once she goes back to drinking, she loses it.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Claims that she's changed. She hasn't.
• Cool Big Sis: What Leanne wants Luanne to see and refer to her as. In reality, she's more of a Big Sister Bully.
• Dirty Coward: When Peggy stops her from stabbing Luanne's boyfriend Buckley with a fork, she apologizes to her...and attacks her the minute her back is turned. After Peggy kicks her ass, she literally runs off crying.
• Domestic Abuse: Abused Hoyt throughout the marriage, which eventually resulted in him getting stabbed with a fork (which lead to her arrest). She starts abusing Bill once she starts drinking again.
• Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: One of the rare aversions on television. Her treatment of Hoyt, Bill, and the others is treated as seriously as if she were a male abuser.
• Evil Counterpart: To Peggy, in terms of a mother figure towards Luanne.
• Fan Disservice: She tries giving a striptease to Buckley. However, Buckley is more disgusted (and alarmed) to be being sleazily seduced by his girlfriend (Luanne)'s mom.
• Gold Digger: Downplayed; while she does spend all of Bill's money, it's mostly because he's too meek to say no and she's too clueless to realize that nice things cost money. However, she does seem to have this attitude towards Luanne and Hoyt.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: When she drinks. Poor, poor Bill...
• Hate Sink: She's a drunk, violent, abusive, promiscuous, irresponsible, childish, parasitic, and overall repulsive white trash loser. She destroys everything she touches and leaves incredible amounts of chaos and strife wherever she goes, plays the victim whenever one of her many horrible acts blows up in her face, and gleefully exploits Bill's loneliness and Luanne's desperate desire to have some kind of relationship with her own mother for her own selfish, short-sighted gain so she can continue to live the same destructive and parasitic existence she's carried out since she was a teenager.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: If she hadn't spent Bill's money so freely, he could have afforded his medication and his toe fungus wouldn't have driven her back to drink.
• I Have No Son!: After Peggy kicks her ass, Leanne is humiliated and gets ready to leave, telling Luanne to come with her. After Luanne refuses, Leanne disowns her before leaving the neighborhood (and Luanne's life) for good.
• Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Near the end, Leanne attempts to stab Luanne's boyfriend Buckley with a fork, only to be stopped by Peggy, who gives her a speech about her behavior towards her daughter. At first, Leanne seems to oblige by apologizing for her behavior, but as soon as Peggy's back is turned..... Leanne attempts to attack her, gloating about how she assaulted her ex (Peggy's brother). Even when Peggy manages to fight back by kicking her in the ass, Leanne leaves town in a huff after stealing Bill's truck, coldly disowning Luanne when the latter refuses to join her.
• Jerkass: And probably one of the worst in the entire series.
• Karma Houdini Warranty: In spite of getting her ass handed to her by Peggy, she does get away at the end of "Leanne's Saga", disowning her daughter and stealing Bill's truck, the latter whom doesn’t want to risk another hostile confrontation by calling the cops. A couple of episodes in Season 6 and 7 has Luanne offhandedly mention her mom's in jail for fighting constantly, implying all of Leanne's poor choices landed her back behind bars at some point after she fled.
• Knight of Cerebus: Her one appearance marks one of the darker episodes in the series, taking all of the comedy out of Luanne's shattered home life and showcasing one of the rare examples of female-on-male abuse treated seriously on TV.
• Lady Drunk: She thinks she's a Hard-Drinking Party Girl, but she's too old, too violent, and has a serious drinking problem.
• Lower-Class Lout: The epitome of such. Drunk, violent, barely dressed, and a slut.
• Mrs. Robinson: She is very obviously attracted to her daughter's boyfriend Buckley, even offering him a lap dance when she's drunk. It's the only time we ever see Buckley look scared shitless.
• Off the Wagon: And it gets worse from there. She was already a jerk to Luanne. When she's drunk, she gets violent.
• Parental Neglect: She's rather emotionally abusive towards Luanne. She was even okay with her daughter dropping out of college to get a job to support the two of them. This is mainly because she doesn't want to be a mother, as seen in the episode where she comes back and tries (emphasis on "tries") to be Luanne's Cool Big Sis.
• Psychopathic Womanchild: It is quite clear she doesn't want to be seen as a mother. She even yells at Luanne that she is no longer her "sister" before leaving.
• Small Role, Big Impact: She appears in just one episode and is only mentioned a handful of times. However, she is the reason that Luanne has to move in with the Hills, since she stabbed her husband with a fork, which led to her being arrested and him running away.
• The Sociopath: And not a high-functioning one. She's had repeated contact with law enforcement, is manipulative and exploitative towards anyone she comes across, cares only for herself, and lives a parasitic lifestyle.
• Strong Family Resemblance: Basically looks like a middle-aged Luanne, only with badly dyed hair.
• Teen Pregnancy: Implied. Leanne claims to be 34 which would make her only 16 years older than her daughter. However, if she's not lying about her age, she has aged terribly as she appears to be in her 40s or 50s. (which is often Truth in Television; constant drinking, smoking and not taking care of oneself will prematurely age anyone.)

Hoyt Platter

Hoyt Platter

Voiced by: Johnny Knoxville

Luanne's biological father (even though earlier episodes revealed that Hoyt was a wussier, male version of Peggy), Peggy Hill's older brother, and Leanne Platter's ex-husband. He was once thought to have escaped to an oil rig to get away from his abusive wife (and wouldn't come back until he got her death certificate in a fax), but a later episode revealed that this was a cover story; Hoyt was in jail and, if he screws up again, he'll be there for life.

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• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: When he came back, he gave his sister Peggy two lottery tickets that were already scratched (and weren't even winning tickets). Things got worse from there until he was arrested again.
• Chronic Villainy: Seems incapable of passing up the opportunity to commit a crime.
• Daddy Had a Good Reason for Abandoning You: He's stinking in jail forever, Luanne.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He sincerely loves Luanne (as shown in his last scene with Hank), but still seems willing to sell her out to avoid jail. A rare example of this trope making a character less sympathetic. When he's about to do the right thing and confess into making Lucky take the fall for him, he ask Hank to not tell Luanne this, to which Hank agrees.
• The Ghost: Was this for most of the show's lengthy run, only being mentioned in a few episodes that concerned Luanne.
• Jerkass: He's almost as bad as his wife in this regard.
• Laser-Guided Karma: After getting Lucky to take the fall for a crime he committed, Hank and Peggy set him up to get his third strike.
• Manipulative Bastard: He uses his daughter's happiness of seeing him back to get away as an excuse for any stupidities he pulls on the Hills and her husband. In the end, karma gets him good and Luanne is led to believe he got a better position at the oil rig.
• Retcon: A jarring example. Originally Hoyt was a male version of Peggy who ran away and joined an oil rig to get away from Leanne and wouldn't return until her death certificate was faxed to him. Offhanded dialogue from Luanne-centered episodes supports this as being the genuine case, usually phone conversations involving him but are depicted without cutaways to avoid showing him. When he finally makes his appearance, he is shown to be a convict on his last strike and that the "oil rig" story was a lie, and he'd been gone for most of Luanne's life (originally, she was an adult still acknowledging just having seen him). He's such a manipulative bastard he would've even thrown his own daughter under a bus if it meant him avoiding jail.
• Stupid Crooks: Not only does he commit random crimes for no good reason, but he falls for Hank and Peggy's obvious plan to get him his third strike.
• Unseen No More: Finally appears in the flesh in "Life: A Loser's Manual" (though a younger version of him was seen in Hank and Peggy's wedding video from season 3's "Hank's Cowboy Movie").

Other Kleinschmidts

Elroy "Lucky" Kleinschmidt

Slipped on pee-pee at the CostCo.

Voiced by: Tom Petty

A 35-year-old hillbilly introduced later in the series whose personal income consists primarily of nothing but personal injury suit victories. Becomes involved with Luanne, then later marries and has a child with her.

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• Actor Allusion: In "Arlen City Bomber," Lucky says "I'm gonna help you run down that dream," an obvious reference to Tom Petty's hit song "Runnin' Down a Dream."
• Ascended Extra: His most noteworthy scene in his debut episode ("The Redneck on Rainey Street") was when he told the story of why he was called "Lucky" (he slipped on a spill while running for the bathroom in a department store and was paid off to avoid a lawsuit), yet he was eventually elevated to main character status. His friends Elvin and Mud Dauber, more prominently featured in that episode, are conversely Demoted to Extra.
• Character Development: For all his faults he has a personal code of honor, sincerely loves Luanne (and later their daughter Gracie) and does try to improve himself with Hank and Peggy's help.
• The Ditz: He's definitely not all there. Hell, Luanne looks like a genius compared to him.
• Early-Bird Cameo: First appeared on "The Redneck on Rainey Street" as one of Kahn's new trailer trash friends.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: Frequently lampshaded by Hank and Peggy, due to his laziness and lack of common sense of how he spends his settlement checks. The others only hang out of him out of pity and goodwill, and one of the few who sincerely love him for who he is is his wife Luanne.
• Frivolous Lawsuit: His primary source of income thanks to a very predatory lawyer who amps up the settlement amounts. However, none of his injuries in those lawsuits were faked and his back is pretty much shot due to repeated spinal injuries to the point where he even had to fake being mobile.
• Hidden Depths: Despite his slovenly appearance and attitude, Lucky occasionally displays surprising wisdom and insight. He also displays a good amount of reading comprehension, such as pointing out that the river in Huckleberry Finn is a symbolism.
• Hillbilly Moonshiner: "Behind Closed Doors" reveals that Lucky brews... something in his bathtub. We don't know exactly what it is, but it can apparently "make you happy."
• Nice Guy: Despite his laziness and lack of smarts, Lucky is a good-hearted person and loves and cares for his wife Luanne and his daughter Gracie dearly.
• Only Known by Their Nickname: He's referred to exactly once by his given name.
• Pair the Dumb Ones: Not very bright and married to Dumb Blonde Luanne.
• Simple-Minded Wisdom: He's definitely no genius, but he has some unexpectedly deep thoughts from time to time.
• The Stoic: Incredibly laid-back most of the time.
• Straw Loser: He's a walking redneck stereotype with no job, no education, and no common sense who survives mostly on settlement checks. His original appearance was meant to demonstrate how far Kahn had fallen by hanging out with him. Then he and Luanne get involved...
• Taught by Television: Any sort of modern knowledge he has comes from watching too much TV, but it rarely is useful. It's where he learned that injured people who go to the hospital will die (because no one in his TV shows survive going there) so he avoids going there when he's injured.
• Took a Level in Kindness: He was just a belligerent redneck in his first appearance, but became far more chill once he met Luanne.
• Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Once he and Luanne are married. He sort of points this out, mentioning newborn Gracie takes after his side of the family, "though that may change once she gets teeth."

Myrna Kleinschmidt

Voiced by: Paget Brewster

Luanne's sister in law.

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• Freudian Excuse: Her trying too hard to be a modern mother stems from her squalor upbringing, where whatever food she had was roadkill. However, she has gone too far in the other direction, treating her children more like, per Peggy, "book reading, water drinking robots."
• Jerkass Has a Point: As Hank points out, some of Myrna's complaints were valid, as much of Peggy's teachings were outdated if not outright dangerous, and Luanne and Lucky were woefully unprepared themselves.
• Condescending Compassion: Can be this way on occasion, such as taking Luanne's confusion at what a nursing pillow is, as thinking that she doesn't know she's meant to feed her baby.
• Deliberately Monochrome: Her idea of decorating a baby's room was filling it with black and white decorations that it looked like they were raising a mime baby.
• Foil: To Peggy. They both want well for Luanne, and their future niece, but whereas Peggy relies on the old fashioned, Myrna relies on the (questionable) modern.
• Obnoxious In-Laws: While she means well, she has a tendency to be pushy. Case in point, she forces Luanne to have a drug free water birth with all of Rainey Street present, despite Luanne's protests. However, her and Lucky do seem to get along well, as she cried when she found out her brother was going to be a father.
• The One Who Made It Out: She was unhappy with the hillbilly lifestyle she and her brother grew up in, and when she was old enough, she married a man named Jason and escaped.