Main Cast: Kids, Pre-Scratch; Kids, Post-Scratch; Trolls (Lowbloods, Midbloods, Highbloods, Pre-Scratch); Cherubs Supporting Cast: Guardians & Ancestors; Sprites; Exiles & the Midnight Crew; Agents & Monarchs; The Felt (Leaders); Others Expanded Universe: Post-Canon; Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff; Hiveswap (Troll Call)
"When you belong to the Felt, you're either as serious as a heart attack, or dumb as a brain hemorrhage. Or the medically spectacular condition where those two problems coincide."
A rival gang to the Midnight Crew, the Felt are the minions of the time traveling mobster Lord English, who are (mostly) leprechauns following a billiards theme. They are introduced in the Midnight Crew Intermission of Homestuck, and almost all of them are also killed during it. Each one has a unique ability, often related to magical items called "jujus."
They also have a prominent appearance in the Paradox Space comic "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven", especially Crowbar, who serves as the main character.
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Shared Tropes
- Amazing Technicolor Population: Almost all members of the Felt are green.
- Back from the Dead: The Felt return in Act 6 Intermission 5 when Spades Slick pulls all of Die's pins (except Snowman's) from his doll.
- Bad Guys Play Pool: They actually have no idea what "pool" is, but they have invented a game based on their hats in which balls are placed on a table and tapped with a stick until they fall into holes on the edge. They call it table stickball.
- Badass in a Nice Suit: Almost all of them wear suits and bowties.
- Bizarre Alien Biology: Leprechauns have quite the differences when compared to humans or trolls:
- Notably, their skin has the texture of actual felt, and the descriptions for their biology invoke puppets, even though unlike the cotton-filled Doc Scratch, leprechaun bodies are similar to carapacians, and they bleed red blood.
- Hussie self-parodies troll romance by taking leprechaun romance up a notch. Romance is composed of nine "charms" that can be combined to form "troves," and each centers around a mix of emotions and exchange of pranks, teasing, and games of chance. Some combinations are better for fertility than others, and they also determine what kind of mating jig is danced between the two. Mating is also noted to be exclusively homosexual (to directly quote the text, "the Felt are all super gay."), and invokes the same imagery Dave used thousands of pages ago to describe his Bro's smuppets that freaked him out, such as "chafing, wriggling, puppet pelvis", and "wrist deep in puppet ass".
- Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": They play "table stickball," not pool; using roundcircles, not balls; and empty sockets, not pockets.
- Call-Back: Crowbar, Matchsticks, and Quarters were all dead before the Felt Intermission started. Thousands of pages later, the 7th, 11th, and 14th
planets of Caliborn's Dead session were shown to be destroyed before it began. - Cast Full of Gay: The Felt are canonically "all super gay." However, The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven portrays Crowbar with a crush on Snowman, so he may be the exception.
- Clocks of Control: The Felt's mansion is fitted with one thousand ticking clocks and timepieces, and their leaders, namely Lord English and Doc Scratch, are said to be responsible for subtly manipulating the post-scratch troll society to be violent and oppressive.
- Color-Coded Characters: They all wear colored hats just like the pool balls they're based on, and all of them (save for Crowbar, Matchsticks and Quarters) were found by Caliborn during his dead session on planets that are colored the same as their hats (eg.: Fin hailed from an orange planet, Eggs' planet was white and purple, etc.).
- Creator In-Joke: The Felt are actually from a game idea Andrew had worked on, but that also ultimately was deemed too difficult by sheer technical restraints. They appeared on a poster on Dave's wall before actually being introduced.
- Death Is Cheap: Long after having killed them all, Spades Slick finds Die's Voodoo Doll, pulls all the pins out (except Snowman's), and tells them all that they work for him now. Crowbar hints in The Inaugural Death Of Mister Seven that the Felt have also died and come back before but doesn't elaborate on how.
- Dwindling Party: The Midnight Crew offs them one by one in the Intermission, with only three left by the end.
- Foe Romance Subtext: If Aranea's exposition on their mating habits is to be believed, Itchy, Trace, Clover, and Fin spent most of their appearances flirting with the Midnight Crew. Who evidently didn't appreciate it.
- Gang of Hats: Literally. Except for English, Doc Scratch and the trolls who work for them, every member of the Felt wears pool-themed hats that have the color and number that they correspond to.
- Gayngster: They're a mobster group that all reproduce homosexually.
- Gotta Catch Them All: Each member of The Felt is actually a minion Caliborn recruits after he has conquered their world. The numbers on their hats actually depicts the order in which he's recruited them.
- Gotta Kill 'Em All: Spades Slick's main objective is to wipe out every last member of the Felt. He succeeds, save for Lord English (who he wants to kill but never does) and Clover who, it is implied, may have survived the destruction of the Alternian universe. Due to time travel and alternate timelines, and their abuse of both, they can still show up as needed, as they did to help Doc Scratch with Spades at a point after they were killed.
- Harmless Villain: Most of the Felt are more mischievous than outright malicious.
- Homosexual Reproduction: According to Aranea, the Felt are a One-Gender Race, and thusly they reproduce in this manner, which she is about to explain before she gets cut off.
- Law of Chromatic Superiority: Both Crowbar and Cans, who are the ones with maroon hats, were the most competent of the bunch.
- Leprechaun: What they are all except for Snowman. Although some debate they may be some kind of gnome, elves, or possibly just puppet people. Caliborn calls them something different every time he refers to them.
- Meaningful Name: Their organization's name invokes the felt covering used on pool tables. Also, their skin apparently feels like actual felt.
- Mook:
- The fact that the two most productive and useful members of The Felt, Doc Scratch and the Handmaid, weren't introduced with The Felt and might well be considered separate characters says something about these guys, as does the fact that Crowbar served as their leader more or less while English was content to let Slick and the Crew go around and murder them.
- Act 6 reveals part of the reason behind this; Caliborn never really cared to use them in the first place, only gathering them because he had to in order to win his session. Since he's beyond omnipotence now as Lord English, they're irrelevant to his plans and he leaves them to their devices.
- Mook–Face Turn: All the leprechauns start to follow Spades Slick when he pulls their pins out. Of course, it's arguable how good Spades Slick is, but he is an enemy of Lord English and still plans to beat him, meaning that the leprechauns have effectively turned against their master.
- Numerical Theme Naming: Because they're based on object balls (with the exception of Lord English and Doc Scratch), every member of The Felt has a name that relates to the number on their hat in some way. Also crosses over with Punny Name in most cases.
- One-Gender Race: The leprechaun race is all male.
- Rainbow Speak: Mentions of their names in narration are always done in green. Snowman is the exception, as the "o" in her name remains black as a reference to her role as the eight-ball.
- Reality Warper: Several of The Felt members have powers that don't necessarily affect time, but rather, aspects of reality, to a minor extent. For example, Stitch's ability to repair wounds using effigies or Quarters' Summon Magic.
- Straight Gay: Their species is implied to have a single sex, putting them into this since they also all identify as male.
- Theme Naming: In addition to the above, the organization's name continues the pool theme: green felt is what is usually used to carpet a pool table. Extends to Doc's home, and the green moon in general, representing the pool table itself. This doesn't extend to the Handmaid or the Condesce however, unless they are considered some odd things, like the chalk or the rack.
Word of God is that Lord English represents the cue stick. - Time Master: Most of The Felt members possess a time power of some kind. Some of them are more general magic abilities though (eg. Quarters or Clover), or straight Reality Warping.
- Villain Teleportation: Snowman, Matchsticks, and Sawbuck to an extent. Snowman can go wherever but not back in time, but she displays awareness of branched timelines somehow anyways. Matchsticks can only teleport via fire, but can travel in time, and Sawbuck has no control over his jumps which are also always through time and space.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: Most of the characters listed here are bumped off before the end of the Intermission, and those that appear later are dealt with rather quickly. Snowman is the only exception, since she survives until the events of [S] Cascade. Matchsticks is the best example — he dies a few panels after he shows up.
- However, as of Act 6 Intermission 5, they are Back from the Dead.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: All of them except Crowbar (who just stood and watched) and Snowman (who's still dead) are defeated by Jake and Karkat in the End of Act 6 flash. We never find out what happened to them afterward. The MSPA Snapchat would attempt to give closure by revealing that Jack managed to get him and them out of there, but the Snapchats would soon be declared non-canon.
1 — Itchy
A Felt member who can speed up his personal progress through time.
- Card Sharp: He isn't particularly fun to play against given that he can swap cards faster than you can blink.
- Colour-Coded Timestop: A yellow clock face appears around him when he is seen utilizing his speed powers.
- Flash Step: How his Super-Speed normally manifests.
- Jerkass: The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven showcases more of his personality, showing he's very rude and brash. Plus, he constantly cheats at cards.
- Klatchian Coffee: It's implied that he moves so fast because he's all wound up on caffeine.
- Meaningful Name: In addition to the Numerical Theme Naming below, the name "Itchy" can refer to his mischievous and annoying personality, as well as an allusion to the cue sports term, "scratch".
- Numerical Theme Naming: His name sounds like "Ichi", which is Japanese for 1.
- Official Couple: Possibly with Clover, as the two are seen together doing a jig (which is what is considered to be sex to leprechauns) in the Paradox Space comic "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven".
- Older Than They Look: Despite looking and acting rather young, it's implied Itchy is older than all the members of the Felt, probably due to his Super-Speed.
- Required Secondary Powers: He lacks Super-Reflexes to go with Super-Speed. His antics are thwarted by Spades Slick after he lifts his leg up a little bit and trips him up while he's running.
- Super-Speed: His power is to slow down time relative to himself, allowing him to move super fast.
- The Trickster: He likes using his speed to annoy both allies and enemies alike, as shown in both the Intermission and "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven".
2 — Doze
A Felt member who can slow down his personal progress through time. Since this power has very few practical uses, he's treated as something of a joke.
- Blessed with Suck: He's outright useless in terms of functionality, being far too slow to share information in a timely fashion or defend himself (and it's outright mentioned he's kidnapped frequently because of how easy it is).
- Butt-Monkey: Every one of his appearances involves him being captured, tied up, chased after and, finally, blown up. Even Spades is a little frustrated at how often he gets caught by the Midnight Crew. And, of course, he has by far the most useless power of the bunch.
- Colour-Coded Timestop: A blue clock face appears around him when he's seen utilizing his ability to slow himself down.
- Meaningful Name: His name alludes to his power to slow himself down, barely moving as if he's sleeping.
- Numerical Theme Naming: His name sounds like "Dos", which is Spanish for 2.
- Perpetual Frowner: His face is always set in a deep frown.
- Slouch of Villainy: He's always seen slouching over.
- Strapped to a Bomb: Clubs Deuce puts a bomb inside Doze's hat after he is tied up, and he can't do anything or ask for help because he is slowed down. By the time his slowing effect wears off, the bomb explodes and kills both him and Trace.
- What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Doze's power is that he can slow down time, but only to himself. Granted, this makes it pretty bloody useless to try to interrogate him, because it takes him a long time to register pain, and anything he does say is so horribly distorted by slowdown as to be unintelligible. Lampshaded by Caliborn, who wonders how being slow even counts as a power.
3 — Trace
A Felt member who can perceive "past trails" that show where people have already been, as well as attack them from the future. However, this also tells his foes where he will be in the coming future.
- Animal Motifs: Sharks. He has shark teeth, and follows blood-coloured trails like one. Also, as noted below, he can be considered a pool shark.
- Glorious Mother Russia: Caliborn gathers the Felt from planets that are the colors of their hats, so you can't blame Trace for coming from a red planet with conspicuous and numerous onion-dome cathedrals on its horizon.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Trace sucker-punching Diamonds Droog from the future tips him off to where he will be later, allowing Droog to set up a plan with Clubs Deuce to kill him, by leaving behind a bomb-strapped Doze where Trace will go to.
- Meaningful Name: His name alludes to his power to retrace where people were in the past.
- Numerical Theme Naming: His name sounds like "Tres", which is Spanish for 3.
- Shout-Out: He and Fin's abilities were inspired by Donnie Darko.
- Stealth Pun: Both he and Fin resemble sharks and are part of a billiards-themed gang. They're pool sharks.
- Time Master: His temporal power is the ability to track people through their Past Trails, and sucker punch them from the future. Unfortunately for him, this means that the people he punches know where he's going to be in the future.
4 — Clover
A Felt member who's just extremely lucky.
- Affably Evil: "Highly cooperative" according to Slick, Clover has no qualms about helping the Midnight Crew if they solve his time riddles.
- Ambiguously Bi: Flirts with most of the male characters he comes into contact with, but also takes the opportunity to ogle Droog's Grey Ladies in the Intermission.
- Big Guy, Little Guy: The Little Guy to Quarters' Big Guy.
- Born Lucky: His power. The comic even lampshades this, stating that if you try to shoot Clover, "the gun will probably jam or something predictable like that."
- Guns Are Worthless: See the quote above: the narrator outright dismisses the possibility that guns could harm Clover. True to the trope's form, a less complex and sophisticated weapon — a rolled-up newspaper — is shown to be effective against Clover, on the reasoning that there are fewer factors that could chance to interfere with the attack, or possibly because getting hit with a newspaper isn't really that unpleasant. "It's kind of a gray area."
- The Kid with the Remote Control: Diminutive, Sprightly Fellow with the Summoning Coin of a Big Man with a Minigun.
- Logical Weakness: Despite his stated immunity to grievous harm, he can still be pummeled using less lethal instruments, such as a rolled-up newspaper. In Collide, Karkat is able to hog-tie him during their fight — Clover isn't technically harmed."You don't have to be all that unlucky to get whacked around with a newspaper. It's sort of a gray area."
- Love at First Punch: Shows a bunch of charms randomly in his eyes after getting beaten by Karkat.
- Meaningful Name: His name alludes to his extremely good luck.
- Not Quite Dead: After the Intermission ended, Andrew drew a page confirming which characters were alive/dead at that point, and Clover's was marked with a question mark, indicating that he may still be alive even after Spades crossed him off the list as dead.
- No Mouth: Like CD, he isn't drawn with any sort of mouth. It's probably just a stylistic thing.
- Numerical Theme Naming: Clover, as in a Four-Leaf Clover.
- Official Couple: Possibly with Itchy, as the two are seen together doing a jig (which is what is considered to be sex to leprechauns) in "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven".
- Riddle Me This: Clover attempts to invoke this trope by giving the Midnight Crew a series of mind-bending time riddles that allude to how to open the safe, but the Midnight Crew wants none of it and just starts threatening Clover to open it.
- Shorter Means Smarter: He's the smallest member of the Felt, and is stated to be really knowledgeable, willing to help the Midnight Crew if they can solve his time riddles.
- Sole Survivor: He's the last surviving members of the Felt mooks after the Intermission and [S] Cascade, where most of the rest are killed by the Midnight Crew.
- Summon Magic: Can disappear and summon Quarters by flipping his coin.
- Tag Team: He uses one of Quarters' coins to "tag out" and summon him.
- The Tease: All those riddles and dances he did while the Midnight Crew was trying to kill him and his fellows? In retrospect, it turns out that that was all pretty flirtatious by leprechaun standards. It was kind of foreshadowed in the Intermission—Slick describes his dances as "frisky" at one point and Droog notes that he needs to be especially careful with his Porn Stash when Clover is around (promptly followed by Clover ogling Droog's "Gray Ladies" magazine).
- Unexplained Recovery: Clover technically "died" when Spades Slick transitioned into a timeline where he was already dead, thanks to him prying open the Felt's safe by force. Despite this he later appears unharmed in Doc Scratch's house on the moon, where he promptly switches places with Quarters. Even after the universe ends, it's hinted that he's still alive.
5 — Fin
A Felt member who can perceive "future trails" that show where people will be in the coming future, as well as attack them from the past.
- Animal Motifs: Sharks. His name is Fin, his head vaguely looks like a shark, he follows trails like Trace does, and the planet he hailed from is distinguished by its shark-infested pools of water. Plus, in an ironic twist, he dies after being shot repeatedly and leaving behind a massive Trail of Blood. Also, as noted below, he can be considered a literal pool shark.
- Fireball Eyeballs: In "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven", Fin's eyes flare up with orange when he uses his power to see future trails.
- Meaningful Name: His name alludes to the fact that he can follow trails to the end of your timeline, ie. its finish.
- Multiple Gunshot Death: While stalking Diamonds Droog's Future Trail, Droog gets tipped off by Fin's presence in the past and proceeds to shoot at where he used to be repeatedly, causing Fin to receive bullet holes all over his body and die from the ensuing blood loss.
- Numerical Theme Naming: "Fin" is a slang term for five-dollar bills.
- Shout-Out: He and Trace's abilities were inspired by Donnie Darko.
- Stealth Pun: Both he and Trace resemble sharks and are part of a billiards-themed gang. They're pool sharks.
- Time Master: His temporal power is the ability to see people's Future Trails, and the ability to attack them from the past. Unfortunately for him, doing this leaves evidence in the future that allows people to track and attack him.
6 — Die
A Felt member whose voodoo doll allows him to jump to timelines where a given individual is dead or alive by adding or removing appropriate pins.
- Alternate Timeline: Die can use a weird Voodoo Doll type thing to teleport to an alternate timeline where certain people are either dead or alive, and everything that results from their death/not-death. He uses the doll by sticking in pins which corresponds to each members of The Felt and the Midnight Crew.
- Deer in the Headlights: Played for Laughs; Die is terrified into silence when Crowbar walks in on his chickens. Crowbar remarks that Die does this constantly, and that he's "like a deer stuck in the high-beams of a parked ass car."
- Evil Is Petty: As mentioned below, he likes timeline-hopping to view the corpses of those who cheat at cards with him.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Having been cheated out of cards by Itchy, Die uses his doll to teleport to the timeline where Itchy dies, as he always does out of spite whenever a Felt ticks him off. This ends up teleporting him to when Spades Slick has just finished killing Itchy on the main timeline, causing him to die as well.
- Meaningful Name: His name alludes to his power revolving around people being dead or alive on different timelines. Also, the Intermission has Spades Slick help Die to "live up to his name."
- Numerical Theme Naming: Die, as in a six-sided die.
- The Quiet One: Die doesn't say much, and mumbles inaudibly when he does get the nerve to talk.
- Retcon: Die's voodoo doll teleports whoever holds it to a different timeline, corresponding to the death of the person whose pin is stuck into it. However, when Spades Slick pulls out all the Felt pins (except for Snowman) out of the doll in Act 6 Intermission 5, all the members of the Felt simply return to life, instead of Slick jumping into an alternate timeline. Being in the Furthest Ring, where timelines converge, might have something to do with this.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: What his power basically amounts to, as Crowbar noted. Him jumping to an alternate timeline where someone is dead doesn't affect them in the alpha timeline at all.
- Slashed Throat: How Spades takes him out as soon as he re-enters the alpha timeline.
7 — Crowbar
A Felt member whose crowbar can destroy any time-related artifact. He's also the brains of the operation for the various projects that Doc Scratch, Snowman and Lord English can't be bothered to care about.
- Ambiguously Bi: All leprechauns are explicitly stated as to be gay, but when Crowbar is trying to talk to Snowman, he blushes, fumbles and acts uncharacteristically nervous. He brushes it off as Snowman being the only woman he knew, but the fact that none of the other Felt members have any sort of reaction to her, and this is not the first time he's talked to her, leads some credence to the idea that he swings both ways, which would make him the inverse of Kanaya.
- Anti-Magic: His crowbar has the power to destroy and revert any Time-manipulation ability.
- Ascended Extra: He had one of the smallest roles during the intermission, being dead before the comic's events, and only appearing because of the Crew messing around with Die's doll. The Felt's other main appearances present him as the face of the group, interacting with Caliborn and Jack Noir, and their Paradox Space comic, "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven" was centered around him.
- Badass Normal: He is one of two members of The Felt to not have any ability. He's also more or less the only one with his head in the game when English isn't around.
- Back from the Dead: Spades revives him in the current timeline by bringing him back from an alternate timeline in his War Chest. And kills him again shortly later.
- Cannot Talk to Women: Despite being the best socializer of the Felt, Crowbar can barely get a few words in to Snowman before tracking off and visibly blushing. Justified in that he has only ever met the one woman.
- Comical Overreacting: Crowbar may not be one for sarcasm, but even he can't resist giving a sarcastic gasp when Die threatens him, seeing as Die's power is essentially just to retreat magically.
- Crowbar Combatant: True to his name, he carries around a crowbar as his main weapon.
- Diabolical Mastermind: Caliborn made him his number one guy for a reason.
- Didn't See That Coming: He's completely shocked when Jake defeats almost the entirety of the Felt on his own.
- The Dragon: While Doc Scratch is one to Lord English, he was one to Caliborn when Caliborn was in his session.
- Evil Counterpart: To Diamonds Droog, both are the Comically Serious straight men to their bosses weird antics. They're both the Hyper-Competent Sidekick whose quick thinking puts them on top; the narrative lampshades this by giving them a few similar scenes, and Crowbar takes over Droog's position later on.
- Hero Killer: He's the one to actually kill Jake during Collide, though Jane revives him shortly afterwards.
- I Remember It Like It Was Yesterday: Crowbar's ending narration of "The Inaugural Death" has him say he remembers two things: his mission to Midnight City like it was last week, and his first death like it was yesterday, both with the explanation that time travel may make those statements literal.
- Literal Metaphor: Crowbar indicates there's a list of stuff he doesn't do; by which he means a physical list he has in his breast pocket.
- Literal-Minded: Crowbar's uses metaphors, hyperboles, and aphorisms figuratively in one sentence, only to follow up on them as if he meant them literally in the next sentence. It's Played for Laughs because of just how seriously Crowbar delivers these mangled, confused speeches that can't decide how literal they want to be. He's at least aware of his inability to be consistent with literary elements, since he frequently admits his dislike for them."You don't DO hyperbole. It's on a list of stuff you don't do. The list is literally kept in your breast pocket to show at clowns who don't take you serious now and then."
- Medium Awareness: Crowbar wonders how long his adventure has been going on for, then looks up towards the page count to find out.
- Mixed Metaphor: "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven" sees him mix and mash several metaphors together throughout his narration, sometimes intentionally."Never did claim comedy was your bag. And your bag is another can of worms entirely."
- Mook Lieutenant: As the head of the leprechauns, Crowbar gives orders to the low-level members of the Felt while his powerful bosses can go run their inter-dimensional schemes.
- Number Two: He is third-in-command in the Felt hierarchy, second to Doc Scratch. From Act 6 Intermission 5 onwards, he replaces Droog in this position to Spades Slick. Slick prefers Droog.
- Numerical Theme Naming: A crowbar is shaped similarly to the number 7, and is also a word with seven letters.
- Only Sane Man: He's the only member of the Felt who is actually coherent and on-task (putting aside Snowman, who is more of a Mysterious Woman and rarely interacts with the group.) This is part of the reason why they're so dangerous when he's leading them.
- Posthumous Character: Well, mostly. He was already dead by the time the Midnight Crew showed up, but he came back when his pin was put in Die's doll.
- Rhetorical Question Blunder: He manages to undermine his own rhetorical question, which wasn't even spoken aloud, by answering it, emphasizing his lack of understanding of comedy and literary conventions."... Third in command to be precise. But who's counting? The answer is, of course, you are. YOU'RE counting. It's your JOB to count."
- Servile Snarker: To Spades Slick in Act 6 Intermission 5.
- The Social Expert: He'd just about have to be in order to win over Caliborn, of all people, in the space of a single conversation. Caliborn's the most damnedly stubborn, contrary, spiteful, willfully ignorant character in the story, and yet he comes back from his chat with Crowbar reporting that the latter is "highly intelligent and personable" and Caliborn's new favorite "elf".
- The Strategist: Even though he has no actual powers, Spades Slick considers him by far the highest-priority target among the Felt, since they're actually dangerous with Crowbar leading them.
- Take That, Audience!: Crowbar refers to the reader as a "useless boob" for assuming "Number Two" referred to Doc Scratch rather than Doze.
- They Call Him "Sword": His name matches his tool, a crowbar.
- Vanity License Plate: The second-to-last panel of his story shows he has a car with the license plate "Crowbar", again showing his stellar imagination.
8 — Snowman/Banished Quasiroyal
The former Black Queen of the trolls' sessions. If she is ever killed, the universe will be destroyed.
- Attack on the Heart: When Spades Slick kills Snowman in [S] Cascade, he does so by shooting her directly through the heart. When this happens, the animation shifts to a closeup of the organ in question being run through by the bullet.
- Barrier Maiden: Killing Snowman ends the universe. Ending the universe also summons Lord English. When Spades Slick is forced to do her in, the resulting death of the universe also assists in the creation of the Green Sun.
- Blue Blood: In both senses of the word.
- Death-Activated Superpower: If you kill her, you destroy the universe.
- The Dreaded: Not really her so much as her Death-Activated Superpower—gunfire ceases when Snowman enters the scene because everyone's terrified of accidentally blowing up the universe if they hit her. It's to the point that her own teammates are afraid to say her name.
- Face Framed in Shadow: She's shaded in the same way as the Midnight Crew, but with green highlights instead of white.
- Foe Romance Subtext : With Slick; he seems more upset at having her catching him behaving embarrassingly than he does when she stabs out his eye. Later, it becomes outright text when they Hate Snog.
- For the Evulz: Enjoys tormenting Slick and does so frequently. There's also the fact that she works as Lord English's loyal servant if only because she hopes to destroy the universe and fulfill the anti-creation role she was created for.
- Good Smoking, Evil Smoking: What kind of Femme Fatale would she be without a cigarette holder?
- Instant Death Bullet: What finishes off Snowman once and for all is a bullet through the heart.
- Killed Off for Real: Snowman gets shot through the heart by Spades Slick, and even though he could revive her with Die's voodoo doll, he chooses not to, since bringing her back could have some weird side effects, given that her heart contained a now dead universe in it.
- Load-Bearing Boss: In a sense, the biggest one ever. Killing her ends the universe, just as pocketing an 8 ball ends a game of pool.
- Meaningful Rename: Originally the Black Queen, then the Banished Quasiroyal after her Exile, before finally becoming Snowman after joining the Felt.
- Mix-and-Match Critters: As the trolls' Black Queen, she supposed to become a mix of every beast that the trolls chucked into their kernelsprites. She took off the prototyping ring early, before this could fully happen, in order to avoid being saddled with a frog head."She would be braced for the heavy load of augmentation ahead. She could certainly withstand the eight eyes of an arachnid. The fairy wings might at worst be frivolous, and the great bull horns could even be regarded as striking additions. For that matter, the sultry lips of a mother grub might very plausibly suit her. She perhaps would wear a brave face even behind a dignified mustache, and the centauring of her lower torso could transpire without much complaint. She would dutifully indulge a lactating udder. And when all was said and done, doubling her head count would surely be insult to elevenfold injury, but nothing she hadn't essentially endured already, all in the name of her kingdom."
- Mundane Utility: What does she do with the load she bears? Torment Slick with the knowledge that he can't retaliate!
- Mysterious Woman: She's based on this trope, complete with her fedora and mysterious past.
- Non-Standard Character Design: Quite unlike The Felt, she has black skin with green highlights. Given that she's the former Black Queen, it's to be expected.
- Not Afraid to Die: "What are you waiting for? Draw, Spades."
- Numerical Theme Naming: She's named after the shape of an 8, which resembles a snowman. "Snowmen" is also poker slang for a pair of 8s. Her powers also allude to the 8-ball in a game of 8-ball pool, which has to be pocketed last. Doubles as a Punny Name (she's no man).
- Only Sane by Comparison: Compared to the weird and goofy Felt mooks, she mostly appears above their antics... but she's also the only servant of the Omnicidal Maniac Lord English who willingly works for him, as The Handmaid and The Condesce were forced to and hate every second.
- Pet the Dog: She seems rather fond of the trolls she guides as an exile, as seen here.
- Pre-emptive Declaration: "Hold still, Slick. Something in your eye."
- Revolvers Are Just Better: She carries around a revolver as well as a whip.
- Satellite Character: Almost all of her appearances in the story are directly tied to Slick and their blackrom.
- Slap-Slap-Kiss: With Spades Slick. It's more like Dismember, Maim, Kiss, but you get the idea.
- The Smurfette Principle: The only female member of The Felt, and the Midnight Crew Intermission story as a whole. The Handmaid and Condesce are also female but they're not so much members of the Felt as they are English's slaves.
- Star-Spangled Spandex: Occasionally, she has sparkles that appear all over her body, such as in this scene. Fitting, since she embodies an entire universe.
- Thanatos Gambit: Happily welcomes her own death knowing it will usher Lord English into the universe.
- Villain Teleportation: She can inexplicably teleport herself.
- Whip of Dominance: Snowman, once the Black Queen of Derse and now one of the Felt's leading figures, uses a long bullwhip as her primary weapon. She's a cold and domineering figure, and in her confrontations with the rival gang leader Spades Slick she typically seeks to maim or humiliate him, such as by casually putting out his eye or by tearing off his arm with her whip, instead of trying to kill him for good, as she's ultimately more interested in keeping up her dominance games.
- Wild Card: Like any good Femme Fatale. Although she's a member of the Felt, and constantly torments Slick, she still saves his life in the top-of-the-page panels starting here, stabbing fellow Felt member Quarters in the process.
- Women Are Wiser: Averted, surprisingly; while she's much more intelligent than the male members of the Felt, she doesn't seem to do much besides torment Slick and take advantage of the fact that he can't kill her.
9 — Stitch
A Felt member whose mannequins can be used to remotely heal other people. He's also a damn good tailor.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars: A long, stitched up one right along his face.
- Healing Shiv: The main use for his voodoo ability is to heal his allies, as described below. He can do the classic reverse, though.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: He dies in the Intermission when Spades Slick charges at him with Snowman's lance, stabbing him right in his chest.
- Improbable Weapon User: While he stays away from fights, he has the ability to damage effigies and thus the people they represent. When the Felt take on Jake, Stitch wields one as a blunt weapon and knocks the boy off his feet.
- Meaningful Name: He has a stitch running vertical along his face, and he's also the gang's tailor.
- The Medic: Or rather, The Tailor. His primary job is to make sure Lord English's CAIRO OVERCOAT is in good condition. He can also create effigies of people using their spare hats, thus providing medical aid by proxy of sewing their effigy back together.
- Numerical Theme Naming: Named after the proverb, "A stitch in time saves nine."
- Perpetual Frowner: Always with a downturned lip.
- The Stoic: He doesn't get involved in shenanigans, not even as a Straight Man a la Crowbar.
- Voodoo Doll: He creates effigies, which are representations of people corresponding to the hats put on them. The effigies reflect real life injuries sustained on the people they represent, and vice versa. He can heal injuries by stitching tears on the effigies, or cause injuries by damaging them. Also, if the person that the effigy represents dies, it'll burn up and become scorched.
10 — Sawbuck
A Felt member who, when injured, jumps to a random point in time and takes his attacker with him.
- Fat Bastard: He's not the largest of the group, but he is still really stocky.
- Iron Butt Monkey: He takes an extraordinary amount of abuse from Spades Slick. It's indicated that his corpulence prevented him from being killed by the attacks.
- Kevlard: His immense bulk gives him considerable protection from damage, since it's surprisingly difficult to hit anything vital under all that lard.
- Off with His Head!: He's killed by having two different versions of him decapitated in one go, thanks to time-shenanigans.
- Numerical Theme Naming: A "sawbuck" is a slang term for ten-dollar bills.
- Rasputinian Death: Stabbed twice, slashed, stuffed in a WRATHTUB, followed by a WAR CHEST, shot several times, stabbed twice more, unstabbed, and finally decapitated.
- Stout Strength: Even the largest of blades leaves Only a Flesh Wound.
- What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Sawbuck's time power is the ability to teleport himself to a random point in the timeline when he's hurt. Given that it's entirely unpredictable, only activates when he gets hurt, and takes whoever hurt him along for the ride, its pretty much useless. It's possible most wounds fail to faze him not because of his corpulence, but because he teleports as soon as the wound's registered, thus halting the blow at entry point. It would also normally be effective against anyone who didn't want to get randomly teleported through time (which would be most people); it only fails to protect him against Spades Slick because Spades is too determined to kill him to care about the difficulties involved.
11 — Matchsticks
A Felt member who can use fires as portals to jump to any point in time.
- All There in the Manual: His power isn't seen clearly on-panel, but its nature is revealed by Hussie's Formspring.
- Chekhov's Gunman: Appeared in all of a single panel during the intermission before showing up in Doc Scratch's mansion over a year and a half later in real-time.
- Emergency Services: Doc Scratch calls him in to extinguish the fire Spades Slick started in the mansion, suggesting Matchsticks may be The Felt's specialist in such work.
- Literal Metaphor: When asking "Where's the fire," he's referring to a literal fire he can deal with, rather than Crowbar's speed as he rounded a corner and bumped into him.
- Meaningful Name: Matchsticks' name alludes to his fire-related powers.
- Me's a Crowd: This will happen if he doesn't put the flames he travels through out.
- Numerical Theme Naming: A pair of matchsticks resembles the number 11. Also, 'matchsticks' has eleven letters.
- Posthumous Character: During the intermission, at least. He's since been glimpsed in Doc Scratch's mansion, apparently alive and well, at least before Spades Slick kills him. However, whether he's Back from the Dead, was Not Quite Dead in the first place, summoned from the past in a Stable Time Loop, or is a doppelganger from an alternate timeline summoned into this one, has yet to be explained or may not be at all.
- Thinking Up Portals: Played with. He can create and use fire as portals to travel through time.
12 — Eggs
A Felt member whose egg timer allows him to jump back in time by the number he sets on it.
- Arc Number: He is numbered 12, Biscuits is numbered 13, and both make their first appearances in the Intermission at 12:13, as indicated by the giant clock on the safe door.
- Bumbling Henchman Duo: He's always found together with Biscuits, and both are completely brainless, as they don't understand how their powers work. Eggs is sometimes accidentally effective by misusing his powers to create a massive amount of clones of himself.
- Dumb Muscle: Spades describes him and Biscuits as dangerous morons, especially considering the fact that Eggs uses his powers willy-nilly to cause hundreds of alternate timeline copies of himself to converge into a single point in time.
- Edible Theme Naming: Eggs. He's one of the only two members of the Felt with food-based names, the other one being Biscuits, whom he partners with.
- Me's a Crowd: Eggs can use his egg timer to travel back in time by increments of up to one hour. He uses this ability by jumping back in time again and again to have dozens of himself in battle. He also can do this to multiply Biscuits by taking Biscuits's oven back with him, as seen in his first appearance.
- Numerical Theme Naming: Eggs are sold in packages of a dozen. His name also alludes to the egg timer which is the source of his power. Eggs are also edible.
- Off with His Head!: He gets disposed off in the Intermission after Hearts Boxcars eats his head right off of his neck.
13 — Biscuits
A Felt member who thinks that his oven allows him to jump forward in time. In actuality, he just hides inside it and waits for a set amount of time, only time-traveling in the manner everyone does.
- Arc Number: Eggs is numbered 12, he is numbered 13, and both make their first appearances in the Intermission at 12:13, as indicated by the giant clock on the safe door.
- Bigger on the Inside: His oven doesn't have any time powers, true... it has space powers — he can fit the entire gang inside of it plus a few people.
- Bumbling Henchman Duo: Always found together with Eggs, and while both are completely brainless, he's the dumber of the two, and doesn't even have time powers.
- Chekhov's Gun: The oven that occasionally shows up in the story and is constantly put down as useless ends up being the juju that saves the entire Felt.
- Dumb Muscle: Spades describes him and Eggs as dangerous morons. Biscuits also thinks setting his oven timer and jumping out of the oven when it buzzes counts as time traveling into the future — which isn't incorrect, but also not very impressive either.
- Edible Theme Naming: Biscuits. He's one of the only two members of the Felt with food-based names, the other one being Eggs, whom he partners with.
- Heart Is an Awesome Power: While his oven does not have time powers, it's revealed that it has space powers. Namely, it is much more spacious on the inside than you'd think, being able to contain the entirety of the Felt with room to spare. It's easier to carry than it looks, and it is virtually indestructible; with Crowbar's Crowbar, a Juju with the explicit ability to outright destroy other Juju, can barely even put a dent in it. So despite it lacking the flashy time-related powers of the rest of the Felt's Juju, it turns out to be instrumental when the Felt need it the most.
- Me's a Crowd: When he teams up with Eggs, their repeated short-term time traveling results in an entire room of time clones of them.
- Numerical Theme Naming: A "baker's dozen" is 13, and biscuits is a common bakery good.
- Shout-Out: Fans have noticed that when he combines his oven "power" with Eggs's power to travel into the past, it acts a lot like the time-travel method used in Primer — box-shaped "time travel" device included.
- What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Biscuits' "time power" is essentially to hide in his broken oven until the timer buzzes. Crowbar's namesake isn't even able to affect the oven because there's no time powers to affect.
14 — Quarters
A Felt member who can use coin flips to summon other Felt members.
- All There in the Manual: Hussie revealed the extent of his powers on his Formspring.
- Big Guy, Little Guy: The Big Guy to Clover's Little Guy.
- Chekhov's Gunman: Literally! Merely hinted at in the Intermission, Quarters finally makes his first appearance years later to turn Spades Slick to Swiss cheese with a gatling gun.
- Gatling Good: He carries around a minigun that he uses to kill Spades Slick in one of Snowman's visions.
- Hero Killer: He fills Spades Slick with bullets momentarily, but Snowman fixes that, subverting this.
- Heads or Tails?: His Summon Magic powers are activated via coinflip.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Is on the receiving end of this courtesy of Snowman's lance, just before he was able to kill Spades Slick in the main timeline.
- Jerkass: Caliborn's description of him after unlocking him implies he's one of the meaner members of The Felt.
- Lean and Mean: He's very tall and thin compared to a majority of the cast.
- Meaningful Name: He carries quarters that he can use to summon the other members of The Felt. He also tags out in-story with one Clover, who is number four.
- Numerical Theme Naming: "Quatorze", French for 14. Alternatively, a quarter = 1/4. Quarters (as in coins) are also the basis of his powers.
- Posthumous Character: Within the scope of the intermission, though he shows up later. Mind, we only have Slick's word that he definitively killed Quarters before the intermission began.
- Summon Magic: He has a collection of quarters with the numbers of each Felt member on either side that they can flip when they're in trouble. When the coin lands, the Felt member corresponding to the number that faces up will be summoned. If it lands on the same number as the member who flips it, they die; otherwise, they will swap places with another member whose number is on the opposite side. He gives Clover the coin with his and Quarters' number on it, because Clover's luck is so good that the coin will never land on his number. It is not advisable to let Snowman handle her own coin — both sides are eights.note
- Tag Team: Summoned by Clover to help deal with Spades Slick.
- Wrench Whack: When fighting Jake, Quarters is seen wielding a wrench as a melee weapon.
- Younger Than They Look: Quarters is the second youngest member of the Felt, but his massive size and aggression make it hard to appreciate, especially when compared to the hyperactive Itchy.
15 — Cans
A colossal Felt member whose punches can propel people through time.
- Beyond the Impossible: He punches (or "clocks") people through time and later, he punches a character out of the panel they're in, forcing them to land on a different panel, which Cans respond to by jumping on the panel.
- The Brute: When The Felt needs muscle to take out the trash, they know who to call. They call Cans, and he runs through a solid brick wall.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: On the delivering end for the Midnight Crew.
- Depending on the Writer: His power to clock people is vastly different in the Intermission than it is in Collide. In the former he can punch people into next week or next month, but in the latter he seems to only punch them across space, and is capable of Breaking the Fourth Wall.
- The Dreaded: The only member of the Felt that the Midnight Crew truly seems to fear. Even Diamonds Droog comments that he "prays to God" it's not him when he hears him try to plow through the wall Kool-Aid Man style.
- Elite Mook: He's so dangerous that the only timeline where he's dead is the one where the Midnight Crew sans Slick is dead as well. When he's fought in Collide, it takes two of the strongest people in the comic to eventually defeat him.
- Frame Break: Cans' clocking powers allow him to punch characters out of panels into the default background of MS Paint Adventures. This escalates in "Collide," where his powers have him chasing Arquiusprite across multiple panels until they start fighting on top of one!
- Giant Mook: Holy shit. Most of the Felt are barely bigger than a person, but cans is more like the size of a small house! This is what endears him to Caliborn most of all, even before Caliborn sees his brute strength in action.
- Hero Killer: To the Midnight Crew, who were clearly afraid of him showing up. During the Intermission Cans was more effective than the rest of the mooks combined, notably curbstomping DD and HB immediately after his debut. He is only defeated when Slick goes to a timeline where he is already dead.
- The Juggernaut: Easily plows through almost all enemies he's been seen fighting.
- Lightning Bruiser: In addition to his incredible strength, Cans will almost immediately run in when called and he can take attacks from known powerhouses like Dad Crocker. He practically has no Necessary Drawback, and is only defeated by sheer fatherly willpower.
- Megaton Punch: He can not only punch you into next week, but into an entirely different calendar. Literally.
- Nigh-Invulnerable: Cans has only been killed on one occasion, unlike most people, due to some time distortion. Outside of that, nothing has really dented him besides the combined power of Arquiusprite and Dad Crocker.
- Not Hyperbole: Punches people through calendar days. As in, he punches them out of the panel they're in, into a calendar.
- Numerical Theme Naming: "Quinze," French for 15.
- There Was a Door: In correspondence with his maroon hat and his vast size, Cans tends to run through these with a spare Kool-Aid Man reference never far off.It sounds suspiciously like Cans is about to plow through the wall Kool-Aid Man style. You pray to God that it is not Cans about to plow through the wall Kool-Aid Man style.
All of a sudden Cans plows through the wall Kool-Aid Man style. - Unsound Effect: Whenever he punches someone: CLOCK!
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