Main Cast: Kids, Pre-Scratch; Kids, Post-Scratch; Trolls (Lowbloods, Midbloods, Highbloods, Pre-Scratch); Cherubs Supporting Cast: Guardians & Ancestors; Sprites; Exiles & the Midnight Crew; Agents & Monarchs; The Felt (Leaders); Others Expanded Universe: Post-Canon; Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff; Hiveswap (Troll Call)
The most awesome characters in the world.
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Main characters
Sweet Bro
Sweet Bro is the first character introduced. He is known to like Video Games and is always ready to test new ideas. Portrayed by Ben Stiller in the post-Scratch movie series.
- Butt-Monkey: He falls down the stairs in the first comic, falls off a bull and gets shit in his face, and generally has poor luck overall.
- Cloudcuckoolander: He puts jelly on hot dogs and does not know how to pour milk correctly.
- Cordon Bleugh Chef: Who else would put jelly on a hot god?
- The Fundamentalist: He doesn't accept Jeff's alternate way of praying.No you dumb homo tool, your PRAYING WRONG.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: He and Hella Jeff are bros.
- Parental Incest: After Hella Jeff explains that he was briefly having sex with Sweet Bro's mother, it is revealed that Sweet Bro has also begun partaking in the act.
- Perma-Stubble: He's got a stubbly face. He shaves in one comic, but the stubble is right back to where it was in the next.
- Shonen Hair: His hair is wild and spiky.
- The Klutz: Besides falling down stairs, Sweet Bro has been seen failing various tasks like holding a ruler the right way, putting a spoon in the drawer, pouring milk, and putting on boots.
- The Stoner: He has weed dreams.
- Took a Level in Badass: In comic #41, he becomes insanely muscular.Hella Jeff: fucking incredible
Hella Jeff
Hella Jeff is the Straight Man of the two. He will usually question
◊ Sweet Bro's ideas if he finds them a little weird. He likes sports, especially basketball, and has demonstrated
◊ an intelligence capable of fooling Sweet Bro. Portrayed by Owen Wilson in the post-Scratch movie series.
- Anti-Hero: He's one of the main characters, but he can act like a jerk to Sweet Bro.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: At first he watches Sweet Bro trying to make himself a glass of milk, but then he gets distracted by a squirrel.Hella Jeff: AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA where do you even get a nut thats that big
- Distracted by the Sexy: He stops himself from watching Sweet Bro's awesome skateboard trick to stare at his mom's hot ass.Hella Jeff: dufe, are you SCOPING this bipches CHOICE ASS..
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: He and Sweet Bro are inseparable.
- Pants-Free: He took his pants off in Comic #2 (because he was banging Sweet Bro's mom for a minute there), and evidently never put them back on.
- Stealth Expert: He seems to like spying on Sweet Bro, and appears in nooks and crannies effortlessly.
- The Stoner: Not as much as Sweet Bro, but he still tokes up on a joint to make him stoned. Or something.
Geromy
The new friend, introduced in comic #7. Portrayed by Donald Glover in the post-Scratch movie series, until Glover was tragically assassinated by the Batterwtich.
- Flawless Token: Dave's author notes from the print edition make it clear:Dave Strider: geromy is always the new friend. hes always there and adds much needed racial diversity to these two white assholes who fuck everything up. geromy doesnt fuck anything up because hes perfect. i love geromy.
- Living Prop: He never even moves.
- Token Black Friend: The new friend to the white protagonists, who is a Living Prop who does literally nothing. He nevertheless gets a lot of Character Shilling. The theme song even calls him this by name.
Secondary characters
The Big Man
A popular basketball player.
- Edgy Backwards Chair-Sitting: He does this when he tells us to keep it real about AIDS.
- Hidden Depths: he wants that us all to keep it real about.............................. AIDS.
- In a Single Bound: The Big Man can get some unreal air.
Barack Obana
The president. But the econony is still falling.
- Nonstandard Character Design: In a comic filled with poorly-drawn characters, Obana is a poor-quality photo of the man himself.
- Off the Chart: He made the econony crash to the point where the arrow is falling off the graph.
Sweet Bro's Mom
Sweet Bro's kind and loving mother.
- Mrs. Robinson: Bangs her son and his friend.
- Ms. Fanservice: Both Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff are banging her. She also seems to have a "choice ass", if Hella Jeff's comments are any indication.
- Really Gets Around: She has sex with two guys with quite a very short time inbetween, so this can be assumed, and one of them is her son!
- The Bus Came Back: Disappeared after the second comic, and didn't turn up again until number 18.
Peaches
A dog that Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff are fond of.- Big Friendly Dog: "hopy SHIT, that dog is huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge!"
- Team Pet: A recurring animal character.
Thed Date
A beautiful wonan whom both Bro and Jeff dated. At the same time. It didn't exactly go well.- The Faceless: According to the book's cover, she's a headless woman with floating arms.
- Huge Girl, Tiny Guy: She towers over our heroes to the point where her face doesn't fit in frame.
- Informed Attribute: Being that she's The Faceless, we've no idea if Jeff's right about her being a "beautiful wonan".
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: When Hella Jeff goes to smell the rank ass Subway vent, the beautiful wonan begins to leave."Stop smelling those sandwinches you HIDEOUS COCK, she's ESCAPING TO THE SIDE."
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