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Hogwarts Students
Slytherin
Bart Simpson
- Accidental Truth: Not completely, but he surmises that Snape is such a jerk to Harry because the latter's father "stole [Snape's] girlfriend." Snape was indeed attracted to Harry's mother, and James' winning her heart was one of the many reasons why he bears a grudge against Harry.
- The Apprentice: To Gemma.
- Arch-Enemy:
- Draco Malfoy is his most persistent foe, and Bart is determined to cause trouble for the spoiled aristocrat in any way he can.
- He locks horns with Percy Weasley and Severus Snape on a regular basis, largely due to the former being a rule-worshipping killjoy and the latter being a Sadist Teacher.
- He also exchanges barbs with Pansy Parkinson.
- Ass Shove: He accidentally shoved the handle of a flying broomstick up the backside of Ilvermorny's headmaster, getting expelled as a result.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: He has a hard time focusing, something he tries to fix by practicing meditation.
- Big "NO!": Gives one when he learns that Snape will replace Dumbledore following the latter's suspension in Book 2.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: He is genuinely talented, and the pranks he pulls tend to involve a lot of careful planning. He just doesn't like academics, though Gemma has made it a goal to beat this trope out of him.
- Bully Hunter: He refers to himself as this at one point. He can't stand bullies, and will subject them to pranks if he catches them in the act, or if they target him.
- Bully Magnet: He tends to attract them due to being a Muggleborn Slytherin...much to their later regret.
- Character Development: He becomes more studious as time goes on.
- The Charmer: He's charismatic and he knows it.
- Chick Magnet: Not in the romantic sense (yet), but at least three Slytherin girls have decided to latch onto him due to his enormous potential.
- Child Prodigy: By the time he enrolls at Hogwarts, he's already gotten a handle on several non-verbal and even wandless spells.
- Combat Pragmatist: He wouldn't be a Slytherin if he didn't have "a certain disregard for the rules", and the rules of combat are no exception. Notably, during the chess game in the climax of Book 1, he Confounds the enemy Queen piece and has her attack the enemy King.
- Cruel to Be Kind: He handcuffs Gemma so she won't interfere with his attempts to prevent Voldemort from getting the Philosopher's Stone.
- Dramatically Missing the Point: He fails to recognize the signs that Tracey Davis' mother is dead until it's bluntly pointed out to him. He does have the decency to feel terrible about it, though.
- Enfante Terrible: He's a mischievous little hellraiser. That being said, he does have standards.
- Everyone Has Standards:
- He will not let someone else take the fall for one of his pranks, as evidenced by his admitting responsibility to a prank everyone assumed Fred and George Weasley pulled, even though he knew he'd get in trouble for it.
- His own homelife has given him a distaste for child abuse and neglect, so much so that he arranges for Harry to be brought to the Burrow a lot earlier than canon just to get him away from the Dursleys, and later tries to find a way to ensure Harry won't have to go back to them.
- He hates bullies and won't stand for someone getting picked on if he thinks he's in a position to do something about it.
- He may not like Hermione, but he's horrified by her petrification.
- Foil:
- He has a lot in common with Voldemort, the only real differences being that Bart actually has a conscience, is capable of giving a damn about someone else, and wouldn't kill someone in cold blood.
- He's essentially Draco Malfoy's polar opposite, with both even bearing a passing resemblance to one another, possessing a love for Quidditch, and being close to their respective mothers. Bart comes from a working-class Muggle family, whereas Draco is the scion of one of the wealthiest, most influential wizarding families in Britain; Bart is boisterous and confrontational, while Draco is sneering but cowardly; Bart is charismatic and able to rally others to his side, while Draco has very few friends who only follow him because of his wealth and familial prestige; Bart gets along quite well with Harry Potter, whereas Draco failed to befriend the Boy-Who-Lived and is now his sworn enemy; Bart hates Snape and won't tolerate bullies, whereas Draco kisses up to Snape and is a bully.
- Friendly Enemy: He's on good terms with Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom, and the Weasley Twins, despite being in a different House.
- Hidden Depths: He secretly dreams of becoming Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, ironic considering his penchant for rule-breaking.
- Hidden Heart of Gold: It's buried deep, but Bart can be nice to someone every now and then.
- Horrible Judge of Character: Largely due to Gemma, Bart has a low opinion of Dumbledore, though the latter's refusal to force him to drink a potion seems to be mitigating this.
- Hot-Blooded: Bart is incredibly boisterous and confrontational towards his adversaries. Less so in Book 2, though.
- Irony: He's a Muggleborn Slytherin. This is not lost on anybody.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Although he is mischievous, he is a kind-hearted boy...deep down.
- Kick the Dog: He pockets Neville's Remembrall at one point, but a combination of Hermione's insistence and a guilty conscience compels him to return it.
- Lack of Empathy: Downplayed. He can feel empathy for others, as Harry can attest, and he did apologise to the Hufflepuffs for his behaviour at the end of Book 2. That said, he was downright unsympathetic when Hufflepuffs started getting petrified in Book 2, even acting like Justin Finch-Fletchley deserved it.
- Likes Older Women: Has a blatant crush on Gemma Farley, a Slytherin prefect whose at between 4 and 5 years older than him.
- Manipulative Bastard:
- In Book 1, he convinces Harry to help him seize the Philosopher's Stone without alerting the teachers beforehand, on the pretext that they didn't have time.
- In Book 2, he tricks McGonagall into thinking that Snape is Lucius Malfoy's puppet and is about to fire the teachers, necessitating Dumbledore's return to prevent a teachers' strike.
- Malicious Misnaming: If he doesn't like you, one of his favorite ways of showing it is by never addressing you by your actual name.
- The Mentor: In Book 2, he teaches Harry various spells so the Gryffindor can defend himself.
- Mooning: He subjects Draco Malfoy to this in Book 2 as payback for supposedly sending Dobby to harass him.
- No-Sell: Snape's bullying tactics have no effect on him.
- Pet the Dog: He might think Professor Flitwick looks and acts a bit strange, but Bart makes a point not to act up around him. He's also nice to Neville and helps him in Potions class; and is nothing but friendly to Hagrid, even helping him with the dragon egg incident by going straight to Dumbledore so the old man can bail Hagrid out.
- The Prankster: A card-carrying one, at that. No wonder he gets along with the Weasley Twins.
- Real Men Wear Pink: He's a skilled ballet dancer. It actually makes him a better duelist.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The white-hot red to Harry's blue.
- Smarter Than You Look: He can be dangerously crafty when he puts his mind to it, and he is fluent in several languages.
Gemma Farley
- The Ace: She's smart, beautiful, rich, has high grades, is an excellent and versatile duelist, and is held in high regard by the Hogwarts Staff, including Professor Snape, who gives her free rein to use her stomach cramp-inflicting curse to discipline unruly Slytherins.
- Action Girl: She is a highly versatile duelist, even holding her own against Voldemort's diary Horcrux.
- Actually Pretty Funny: Bart can get a laugh out of her without too much effort. She even admits to finding it hilarious when Bart strips Percy Weasley of his clothes, though she is annoyed that it cost Slytherin a chunk of House Points.
- Affectionate Gesture to the Head: She ruffles Bart's hair affectionately from time to time.
- Anger Born of Worry: She feels like tearing her hair out every time Bart puts himself in danger, both because she's devoting a lot of effort to cultivating him and because she cares about him.
- Ambition Is Evil: Played with. She's got no problem taking advantage of a talented young boy's crush on her, but her plans are mostly targeted at down-sizing the Malfoys, which isn't exactly a bad thing.
- The Apprentice: To her father, although she doesn't normally need his help anymore.
- Ascended Extra: She goes from receiving only a passing mention in Pottermore to being the deuteragonist.
- Bad Liar: She tries to convince her dad that Bart is a Pureblood. He seems to buy it at first, but then he does a little digging and learns the truth. Actually downplayed because her lies are rarely exposed.
- Berserk Button: Bart's antics tend to provoke her wrath (even if she secretly finds them funny), usually in the form of giving him stomach pains. Harming Bart will also result in the same reaction.
- Betty and Veronica: Heavily downplayed, but comparatively speaking, she plays the Veronica to Daphne Greengrass' Betty. Gemma can, and will, intimidate Bart into doing her bidding when the situation calls for it, though she is willing to use the carrot as well; Daphne lacks Gemma's authority as a prefect and her intimidating presence, so she has to be less bossy when she interacts with Bart in order to get something out of him.
- Beware the Nice Ones: She's not that nice, but she's too pragmatic to act like a petty bully and goes out of her way to do her job as a Prefect properly. That being said, provoke her at your peril.
- Big Sister Instinct: Picking on or hurting Bart (who she acts as a big sister figure to) is a good way to provoke her wrath.
- Blue Blood: Her family is rich and powerful, but not quite on the same level as the Malfoys, something she is determined to change.
- Brainy Brunette: She's very smart and suffers no fools.
- Bully Hunter: She hunted down the Slytherins who brutally beat Bart up on his first day at Hogwarts.
- Character Development: She initially only saw Bart as a tool for her ambitions, though she never outright disliked him. It takes him running off to confront a mountain troll for her to come to terms with the fact that she actually cares about him.
- Combat Pragmatist: A kick to the crotch, creating a spell that causes excrutiating stomach pains, using other people as shields when outnumbered—such things are not beneath her. You expected anything less from a Slytherin?
- Cool and Unusual Punishment: She casts a spell that leaves unruly students with searing gas pain for as long as she sees fit. So far, she has subjected Bart to this twice. Book 2 confirms that she invented that spell.
- Cool Big Sis: To Bart. Initially, it was just an act, but it became genuine over time.
- Corporal Punishment:
- She can't literally spank Bart, as Hogwarts doesn't permit that, so she gets around that by shooting a Stinging Charm at his ass, which gets the same results.
- When Harry and Ron go into the Forbidden Forest with three Ravenclaws to meet Aragog, she vows to give Harry an actual spanking, but opts instead to inflict a Stinging Charm on his butt that's so painful that the pain is still there by the following evening.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: In Book 2, Malfoy and several cronies try to ambush her. It ends very badly for them.
- Death Glare: You do not want to piss her off, as her stare alone can make those who fall under it feel like they're about to die. Even Ron Weasley won't dare to cross her.
- Do Wrong, Right: She isn't too bothered by most of Bart's pranks, but wishes he would cover his tracks better.
- The Dreaded: She is the scariest Slytherin after Professor Snape, and even he respects her. Notably, she can bring Bart to heel with little effort, something that none of the staff can do.
- Ear Ache: She subjects Bart to this from time to time.
- Enraged by Idiocy:
- She does not take kindly to Bart doing stupid, reckless things that endanger him (and/or will be hard to cover up) and will not hesitate to punish him for it.
- She's less than pleased when she discovers that Harry took Ron, Fang and three Ravenclaws into the Forbidden Forest.
- Establishing Character Moment: She initially tells Bart to get lost and disarms him, but when he manages to catch her off-guard with wandless magic and reclaim his wand from her, she quickly realizes he has a lot of talent and decides that cultivating him would be beneficial to her and her family, prompting her to be more friendly towards him. From this alone, Gemma shows herself to be a shrewd, calculating, and pragmatic woman with an eye for talent and a willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve her ends—essentially an ideal Slytherin.
- Everyone Has Standards: She's utterly shocked by how crazy Springfield is, and is thoroughly unimpressed with Homer.
- Foil: To Voldemort. Both are aggressive, ambitious, controlling, knowledgeable, intelligent, manipulative, studious and excellent duellists. Both are, or were, held in high regard by the Hogwarts Staff. Dumbledore is also at least somewhat wary of both. Voldemort and Gemma even recognise their similarities in the Chamber of Secrets. The difference is that Gemma genuinely cares about her people (Bart, her family), whereas Voldemort cares for nobody but himself and sees his followers as disposable. Gemma can also cooperate with others, including people she normally distrusts, against a common threat. Conversely, Voldemort is too distrusting to truly cooperate with anyone. Even his followers are usually driven by fear, not loyalty.
- It Runs in the Family: She's the latest in a long line of accomplished duellists.
- Kick the Dog: She dismisses Hagrid as an oaf, something even Bart won't do. Granted, Hagrid does little to prove her wrong, but still...
- Large and in Charge: She's quite tall, and woe betide anyone who attempts to defy her.
- Like Father, Like Daughter: Like her father, she's smart, knowledgeable, manipulative and an excellent duellist. She also mentors Bart, just as her father mentors her.
- Locked Out of the Loop: She's kept uninvolved in the main plot of Book 1, with Bart handcuffing her for her own safety. Averted in Book Two, in which she enters the Chamber of Secrets alongside Harry, Bart, and Ron.
- Manipulative Bitch:
- She has Bart wrapped around her finger. In particular, she feeds him a few half-truths to get him not to trust Dumbledore.
- More broadly, she can schmooze up a storm when such advances her agenda.
- The Mentor: She teaches Bart a lot of dueling spells on the side. And she isn't soft about it.
- Original Character: Averted. According to Pottermore, there was a Slytherin Prefect named Gemma Farley who attended Hogwarts over the course of the first three books. She just never got mentioned nor had any dialogue in-story.
- Pragmatic Anti-Hero: She's not as prejudiced as the bulk of her House, considering it wasteful of potential assets. Notably, she had no problem asking fellow prefect (and Ravenclaw) Penelope Clearwater for help with her homework when they were younger and still maintains a courteous relationship with her.
- Precision F-Strike: She threatens to 'mindfuck' a disobedient Slytherin if he doesn't tell her who changed the Slytherin Common Room password to 'Pureblood'. Internally, she even notes the best way to use this trope.Gemma generally eschewed such vulgar language. It was not only unacceptable in her social circles, but also lost its effect if overused. But when used correctly, such language gave her words a visceral force which demanded respect. And the word 'mindfuck' left little to the imagination. Predictably, Lucian folded like a pack of cards.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: She takes her position as Prefect seriously, and doesn't act like a stuck up jerk unless you go out of your way to piss her off.
- Say My Name: "BART!" or "Bart Simpson!"
- Signature Move: Gaseous, a curse she invented that leaves the victim with searing stomach pains. She has Snape's express blessing to use it on rowdy housemates, a fact she exploits without compunction.
- Slasher Smile: She sports a particularly frightening one whenever she is feeling especially vindictive.
- Statuesque Stunner: She's quite tall and very beautiful.
- Sympathy for the Devil: She doesn't openly admit it, but she can understand why the diary horcrux didn't want to be stuck inside a diary.
- Toxic Friend Influence: She tries to get Bart to distrust Dumbledore.
- Tsundere: One minute she's (literally) bending Bart's ear over his ridiculous antics, the next she's watching movies and trading jokes with him.
- The Vamp: To an extent. She's not above exploiting Bart's crush on her to get him to do her bidding, but she never tries to act seductive towards him, preferring to utilize intimidation and guilt-tripping.
- Vicariously Ambitious: She is molding Bart into a powerful and influential weapon she can use to increase her family's influence and take down their enemies. Notably, she teaches Bart how to play Quidditch because Marcus Flint wouldn't let her join the Slytherin Quidditch Team out of sexism.
- What the Hell, Hero?: She berates Harry (and inflicts a nasty Stinging Spell on his buttocks in lieu of spanking him) for going to an Acromantula Colony while bringing four other students with him.
- You Are Better Than You Think You Are: She knows that Bart has massive potential, and urges him to improve himself rather than just let it all go to waste.
Draco Malfoy
The spoiled scion of the aristocratic Malfoy family, he develops an instant disdain for Bart due to the latter's status as a Muggleborn. Bart, in turn, quickly comes to hate Malfoy's guts and the two become determined to one-up the other.
- Arch-Enemy: He is Bart's most consistent nemesis.
- Aristocrats Are Evil: He's the latest in a long line of racist aristocrats, and is no exception to that description.
- Book Dumb: Averted. Despite his frequent acts of stupidity, he is studious.
- Break the Haughty: He is determined to inflict this trope upon Bart, but Bart keeps turning the tables.
- The Bully: He tries to be this towards Bart, but Bart always fights back and comes out on top.
- Bullying a Dragon:
- He keeps pursuing his vendetta against Bart even when it lands him in hot water with Gemma.
- In Book 2, he tries to lead an ambush against Gemma herself. She knees him in the groin before stomping the rest of the group while using him as a Human Shield.
- Character Development: Not a positive example necessarily, but by Book 2, he's able to brush off Bart's taunts a bit more easily. Internal monologuing reveals that his father coached him to do this, as Lucius quickly deduced that Bart wanted Draco to react to his antics.
- Combat Pragmatist: He doesn't believe in fair fights, though pragmatism is a trait that Slytherin encourages. Case in point, he never confronts Bart on his own.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Bart mops the floor with him in a one-on-one duel.
- Dumb Blonde: Zig-zagged. His grades aren't terrible, but he has a tendency to provoke people who can, and will, whoop his ass.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Bart calls him "Draino", and his former babysitter used to call him "Spawn".
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He is close to his mother, and appears to respect his father.
- Fantastic Racism: He is thoroughly contemptuous towards Muggleborns, and treats Half-Bloods with only slightly less disdain.
- Horrible Judge of Character: He assumes that Harry Potter would have befriended him had it not been for Bart. Anyone who knows the HP canon will laugh at that belief.
- Jerkass: A spoiled, arrogant, racist little shit.
- Karmic Butt-Monkey: An arrogant, bigoted, spoiled bully who's a frequent victim of Bart's pranks and Gemma is all too happy to give him detentions.
- Kick the Dog: He ambushes Bart with the help of some other Slytherins and has him beaten severely as a warning to "know [his] place". Bart recovers and, with Gemma's help, pays him back in spades.
- Miles Gloriosus: He likes to brag about his supposed prowess. While he is far from completely inept, he can't entirely back up his words.
- Momma's Boy: Is very close to his mother.
- Not Me This Time: When his connection to Dobby is established, Bart and Harry assume that Malfoy sent the House Elf to harass and sabotage them out of spite. Anyone familiar with the HP canon will know that Dobby acted on his own initiative, with Draco being none the wiser.
- Rich Bitch: A male example. His family is loaded, and in case the above tropes haven't done a good enough job establishing it, he's an asshole.
- Smug Snake: He is a legitimately good flyer and his dueling skills aren't negligible, but he overestimates himself.
- Teacher's Pet: Snape heavily favors him.
- Villain Ball:
- He hates Bart so damned much that he's willing to let it damage Slytherin's image of House unity, something Bart berates him for.
- It's entirely possible that Bart would stop pranking him, or at least not go out of his way to torment him, if Draco just swallowed his pride and left Bart alone.
- Villainous Friendship:
- He's friendly with Pansy Parkinson, partially because they both disdain Bart for being a Muggleborn.
- He seems to be on good terms with his former babysitter, Merula Snyde.
Daphne Greengrass
- Ascended Extra: She goes from getting two name-drops in canon to being a major supporting character.
- Beneath Suspicion: Her family's association with foxes is meant to invoke their ability to fly under the radar.
- "Be Quiet!" Nudge: Replace "nudge" with "kick in the shins", but she uses this trope on Bart when he tries to mouth off to Professor McGonagall, who simply overlooks it. She does it again in Herbology, and Professor Sprout outright thanks her for it.
- Betty and Veronica: She plays the former to Gemma's latter, though it's heavily downplayed. She lacks Gemma's authority and intimidating presence, so she has to be more friendly and careful when interacting with Bart in order to get what she wants from him.
- Blue Blood: She comes from an ancient wizarding family, and is intent on increasing their status.
- Deadpan Snarker: She can be quite sharp-tongued, much like Bart.
- Dumb Blonde: Averted. She's very smart and studious.
- Everyone Has Standards: Professor Binns is so unfathomably boring that Daphne won't silence Bart for disrupting his class.
- Icy Blue Eyes: Her cerulean eyes can become as cold as ice when she gets annoyed or angry.
- Living Lie Detector: She's not a Legilimens, but she's not easily fooled.
- Manipulative Bitch: Like Gemma, she is using Bart for her own ends, even using similar methods. She has to try harder, though, since Bart doesn't have a crush on her. She does have the advantage of attending most of the same classes he does, though.
- Nerds Are Sexy: Well, not quite sexy yet, as she hasn't hit puberty, but she's pretty for her age and gets good grades.
- The Rival: Daphne is trying to damage Gemma's influence over Bart and take it for herself.
- Running Gag: Bart acts like an obnoxious brat in class, prompting Daphne to silence him with a kick, to which the teacher looks the other way.
Tracey Davis
- Ascended Extra: Like Daphne, she never got a single word of dialogue in canon, nor was her physical appearance described. She doesn't get as much focus as Daphne or Gemma, but she still gets more focus than she did in the books.
- Brainy Brunette: She serves as one of Bart's study buddies, the other being Daphne.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Her mother passed away from cancer when she was seven, and she is still deeply affected by it.
- Pragmatic Anti-Hero: Like Daphne and Gemma, she is baffled by the blind racism of most Slytherins, finding it counterproductive. Her being a half-blood likely has something to do with it.
- Mundane Utility: Her dad taught her how to place extracted memories into video cassettes. She has quite the collection of them.
- Those Two Girls: Tracey is always seen hanging out with Daphne Greengrass... except in her introduction, ironically.
Millicent Bulstrode
A rather stocky Half-Blood Slytherin whose family is beholden to the Parkinsons. Daphne convinces her to swear allegiance to her via Unbreakable Vow in exchange for becoming her benefactor instead.
- Ascended Extra: She appeared a couple of times in canon, but here, she's shaping up to be a major supporting character.
- Brawn Hilda: She's rather big and strong.
- The Brute: Is shaping up to be this for Bart's circle of friends.
- Pet the Dog: She asks Professor Binns about Muggleborn and Half-blood Slytherins in an attempt to lift Bart's spirits.
Marcus Flint
The Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, Flint is a sexist thug who isn't above accepting bribes or cheating if he thinks it will help him win. Has an antagonistic relationship with Gemma Farley, but begrudgingly allows her protégé, Bart Simpson, to join the Quidditch team after the boy shows off his talents.
- British Teeth: Has very crooked teeth, as noted by Bart.
- Combat Pragmatist: A sporting version, but he's willing to cheat to win.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: He's not known for his friendliness towards his teammates, and pushes them hard to meet his expectations.
- He-Man Woman Hater: He believes that woman are incapable of playing Quidditch competently, or at least lack the passion to devote all their energy to it. This led him to blocking Gemma Farley's attempt to join the team.
- Pet the Dog: He doesn't hesitate to compliment Bart's flying prowess.
- Pragmatic Villainy: He's a sexist prick, but even he can't deny that Bart is an excellent flyer and lets him join the Quidditch team. He even admits that he doesn't care about Bart being a Muggleborn as long as the boy plays Quidditch well.
Gryffindor
Harry Potter
The Boy-Who-Lived, a half-blood who became famous for seemingly destroying Lord Voldemort when he was just a baby, though at the cost of his parents. Left in the care of his abusive-at-worst/neglectful-at-best relatives for the first decade of his life, he is eventually enrolled at Hogwarts, where he meets and befriends Bart. Harry has a natural talent for Quidditch, and tends to wander (or get dragged) into situations that force him to live up to his unwanted celebrity status.
- Broken Pedestal: He is devastated to learn that Bart wanted the Philosopher's Stone for himself, and avoids interacting with him for the rest of the first year. It's downplayed when he notices that Bart actually does feel a little bad about it, and Bart slowly regains his trust.
- Celebrity Is Overrated: He doesn't enjoy being treated like a Messiah.
- Demoted to Extra: Not entirely, but he doesn't get as much focus here, being more of a deuteragonist.
- Didn't Think This Through: He recklessly goes into the Forbidden Forest with four other students in the hopes of getting information about the Chamber of Secrets from an Acromantula simply because Hagrid advised it. The same Hagrid whom, while a loyal friend, was dumb enough to smuggle a dragon egg into his hut, keep a giant three-headed dog as a pet, and drunkenly tell a complete stranger how to get past said dog.
- Friendly Enemy: He and Bart are in different Houses, but they don't let that minor detail prevent them from befriending one another.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars: Has a famous lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead.
- Graceful Loser: He takes Slytherin winning the House Cup at the end of Book 2 in stride, being the first one to applaud them. This actually shames others into doing the same.
- Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Averted. The neglect and abuse he went through is not Played for Laughs, and Bart is so disgusted by how the Dursleys treat him that he arranges for Harry to be brought to the Burrow earlier than in canon.
- Horrible Judge of Character: He is easily convinced by Voldemort's diary Horcrux that Hagrid is the heir of Slytherin. When he informs Bart and Gemma of this, they laugh their asses off and near-instantly deduce that Hagrid was not only innocent, but that Voldemort framed him.
- Precision F-Strike: Gets one in just before killing the Basilisk.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni:
- The cool blue to Bart's red.
- He's also the blue to Ron Weasley's red, as he's perfectly civil towards Bart whereas Ron irrationally dislikes the boy.
Hermione Granger
The only female (and Muggleborn) member of the Golden Trio, Hermione is a studious, somewhat bossy stickler for the rules, which initially causes Bart to treat her with hostility since she reminds him of Lisa, though his opinion of her softens later. Despite her abrasiveness, she is one of the few people who can see that Bart is a decent person at heart and tries to bring out his softer side.
- Brainy Brunette: As in canon, she's quite book-smart.
- Enraged by Idiocy: Bart's crazy, reckless actions really get on her nerves.
- Excellent Judge of Character: She quickly figures out that Bart is a lot nicer than he pretends to be. Bart is visibly stunned when she says this to his face... and then proceeds to prove her right.
- Nice Girl: She can be rather bossy and overbearing, but she's really nice once you get to know her.
- Teacher's Pet: She can come off this way, though less out of sycophancy and more because she just likes answering questions.
- You Remind Me of X: She's so similar to Lisa that Bart accidentally calls her by his sister's name on a couple occasions.
Ron Weasley
The youngest Weasley boy (and second-youngest Weasley overall), Ron meets Bart shortly after meeting Harry. Although he is initially friendly towards Bart, he quickly changes his tune after Bart is Sorted into Slytherin, which puts a strain on his relationship with Harry and Hermione.
- Actually Pretty Funny: He dislikes Bart, but can't resist chuckling at some of his pranks.
- Celebrity Is Overrated: The more he experiences it, the less he likes it.
- Everyone Has Standards: He may hate Slytherin, but he doesn't want to outright murder any of its members.
- Fantastic Racism: More like "house-ism", but Bart being a Slytherin is enough for Ron to immediately treat him with contempt.
- Hot-Blooded: He is described as such, and is, indeed, quite passionate. Unless Gemma is looming over him.
- Kick the Dog: When Harry and Hermione chide him for his irrational grudge against Bart, Ron snaps and accuses Hermione of being pro-Slytherin and storms off, leaving her in tears.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Harry's blue. Bonus points for being a red-head.
- The Resenter: He resents Bart due to the latter's growing fame, popularity, and connection.
- Stubborn Mule: He will not let go of his dislike for Bart no matter what the boy does, even though his attitude softens over time.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: He will cooperate with Bart, but only for Harry's sake. Bart just doesn't care.
- Ungrateful Bastard: When Bart gives Ron and Harry a lift to Hogwarts after they miss the train in their second year, Ron isn't even thankful, much to Harry's annoyance. But he later thanks Bart for saving Ginny's life.
Fred and George Weasley
Ron's mischievous older brothers, who also serve as Beaters for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Unlike their little brother, they get along quite well with Bart.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: They use Nelson Muntz' Signature Laugh (complete with pointing a finger) when Bart moons Draco Malfoy.
- Friendly Enemy: They're in a different House from Bart, but that hasn't stopped them from getting along with him.
- The Prankster: Why else would they be on such friendly terms with Bart?
- Those Two Guys: They are never seen apart from one another.
Neville Longbottom
A nervous, insecure Gryffindor who occasionally hangs out with the Golden Trio. Because of his disposition, he is frequently bullied by others, particularly Professor Snape, for which Bart takes pity on him and leads the normally rambunctious Slytherin to help him out.
- Bully Magnet: Frequently bullied by others, particularly Professor Snape.
- Butt-Monkey: Neville is treated as a joke or disappointment by those around him—except by Bart, ironically.
- Friendly Enemy: He is one of the few characters that Bart is unequivocally nice to, despite being in a different House.
- Nice Guy: He's very friendly.
Hogwarts Staff
Albus Dumbledore
The (extremely) elderly and powerful headmaster of Hogwarts, Dumbledore adopts the mannerisms of a somewhat dodgy old man which belies his craftiness and formidable skills in magic. When Bart begins displaying signs of being similar to Voldemort, Dumbledore decides to keep an eye on the boy.
- Actually Pretty Funny: He finds many of Bart's antics amusing.
- Adaptational Intelligence: He's less careless than his canon counterpart.
- Rather than assume that the Mirror of Erised would be able to keep Voldemort from getting the Philosopher's Stone, Dumbledore places a decoy inside the Mirror and keeps the real stone on his person.
- He arranges for Gilderoy Lockhart's crimes to be exposed publicly without even bothering to hire him as a teacher, and then he hires a competent wizard, Jake Farley, to teach DADA instead.
- To alleviate Cornelius Fudge's paranoid belief that he intends to become the Minister of Magic, Dumbledore decides to make an Unbreakable Vow that he won't do that in Fudge's presence.
- Rather than letting Lucius Malfoy off with a warning for planting Tom Riddle's diary on Ginny Weasley, he lures him into a trap before having him arrested for conspiracy to murder.
- The Atoner: He arranges for Harry to move in with him at the end of Book 2 as an apology for leaving him with the Dursleys.
- Benevolent Boss: The teachers deeply respect him, and he permits them to call him by his first name. He even bails Hagrid out when the latter nearly gets in trouble for keeping a dragon egg.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Averted, but Gemma convinces Bart that he is playing it straight.
- Good Is Not Soft: He's usually a very lenient, charitable man, but he's willing to punish people who deserve it.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Dumbledore is incredibly patient with Bart.
- The Stoic: Keeps his cool in the face of Homer's crass, uncouth behavior.
Severus Snape
The Potions Master and Head of Slytherin, Snape is an icy, vindictive bully who quickly decides to make Harry as miserable as possible for reasons he won't disclose. This results in him becoming a target of Bart's wrath, which leads to the two developing a mutual contempt for one another.
- Actually Pretty Funny: Even Snape can't resist laughing at Gilderoy Lockhart when the latter is tricked into publicly confessing to his crimes.
- Animal Motif: Bart compares him to a bat.
- The Bully:
- He enjoys humiliating students, particularly Harry and Neville, out of petty spite. Bart takes umbrage with this.
- He also bullies Willy Widdershins (Filch's replacement), although Willy mostly takes Snape's antagonistic behaviour in his stride.
- Deadpan Snarker: Credit where credit is due, he's very witty.
- Everyone Has Standards:
- He won't tolerate the usage of the word "Mudblood" in his presence.
- His trip to 742 Evergreen Terrace almost traumatised him - which says something, given the man's Death Eater past.
- He and Lucius Malfoy are old friends, but Lucius conspiring to murder a child is too much for him.
- He's disgusted when he discovers that Voldemort has made multiple horcruxes.
- Evil Is Petty: He's not above taking his anger at someone out on their innocent (and ignorant) relatives. He also shows blatant favoritism towards his own House.
- Jerkass Has a Point: He treats Willy with constant hostility and suspicion. His suspicions are justified.
- Laser-Guided Karma: He spends his entire debut acting like a total prick, so it's only fitting that Bart causes him to break out in boils while his back is turned.
- Not So Above It All:
- Again, the thing with Lockhart shows that Snape can laugh at something.
- Bart's antics aggravate him so damned much that he outright begs Dumbledore to let him give the boy a detention before the term has even started.
- Sadist Teacher: He may be incredibly skilled at making potions, but he's such a vicious asshole that he clearly isn't qualified to be a teacher. It's not even a case of Drill Sergeant Nasty: he picks on students just to be a jerk.
- Sinister Schnoz: Snape has a big, crooked nose, which causes Bart to compare him to Captain Hook.
- You Are in Command Now: He is briefly made Headmaster during Book 2.
Minerva McGonagall
The Transfiguration teacher and Head of Gryffindor. A strict, sharp-tongued, no-nonsense, and incredibly powerful witch, McGonagall quickly earns Bart Simpson's enmity due to her uptight nature, for which he derisively calls her "Mrs. Skinner." Despite her annoyance with his attitude, she is not above praising Bart whenever he does something correctly—nor is she above letting other students silencing him via sharp slap or a kick to the shin.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Unlike Snape, she doesn't go out of her way to bully her students.
- Stern Teacher: She's unflinchingly strict and is easily capable of keeping her students in line. Bart is less easily cowed, so she looks the other way if whoever is sitting next to him gives him a "Be Quiet!" Nudge.
- Troll: She will award Bart house points for his magical accomplishments, and then immediately deduct them for his sassy attitude. She also refuses to punish Daphne for kicking him in the leg to shut him up.
Filius Flitwick
The Charms teacher and Head of Ravenclaw. A diminutive, excitable little man and one of only two Hogwarts teachers whom Bart doesn't go out of his way to agitate, largely because the professor is willing to compliment him on his talent for Charms.
- Cool Teacher: Downplayed. Bart doesn't necessarily think he's cool, but he does notably refrain from being sassy or mischievous around him.
- Not So Above It All: Even Flitwick can't stand Gilderoy Lockhart, to the point of declaring that he would shoot Dumbledore out of a cannon if the headmaster hired Lockhart as a Hogwarts teacher.
- Pint-Sized Powerhouse: He's very short, but he's a competent teacher and a master duelist, even defeating Jake Farley.
- Stern Teacher: Not usually, but if angered, he can be quite chilling. When he learns that Bart pulled a prank that damaged the Ravenclaw common room, his demeanor becomes stern, though he backs off after confirming that Bart was already punished for it by Dumbledore.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Is very patient with his students, and won't hesitate to praise them when they match or exceed his expectations. The latter trait is the primary reason why Bart won't prank or disrespect him.
Jake Farley
- The Ace: A very intelligent and knowledgeable curse-breaker, a competent teacher and an excellent duellist. Plus, he's wealthy.
- Big Fancy House: Owns one, complete with peacocks strutting about the gardens.
- Cool Teacher: He's somewhat haughty, but he's a competent instructor who doesn't play favorites, nor does he display open Pureblood supremacist views. Bart notably refrains from antagonising him.
- Happily Married: He and his wife adore each other.
- It Runs in the Family: Comes from a long line of accomplished duellists. One of his ancestors founded a duelling club, The Silver Spears, in the 18th century.
- Manipulative Bastard: He's spent most of his life using people to advance his own agendas.
- The Mentor: He's spent much of Gemma's life teaching her to fly, duel, and ingratiate herself to people. He also corrects Bart's duelling technique in class.
- Not So Above It All: He's an aristocrat, but he also seems to enjoy reckless driving to an extent.
- The Rival: To Lucius Malfoy, whose prestige and assets he hopes to one day seize.
Willy Widdershins
- Ambiguously Evil: He is disreputable, but he has never committed murder, and it's left ambiguous as to whether he would really have killed Ginny Weasley. He also saves Ron Weasley's life in the Chamber of Secrets.
- Blatant Lies: His tales of heroism tend to be embellished or fabricated.
- Book Dumb: Snape heavily implies that he was a poor student.
- Brits Love Tea: He's a Brit who enjoys a good cuppa.
- Deal with the Devil: Lucius Malfoy conscripted him to kill Ginny Weasley if she survived the Riddle Diary's possession, in exchange for paying off his debts. Fortunately, Dumbledore and Snape stop him. He then helps them arrest Lucius.
- Foil: To Argus Filch. Both served as Hogwarts' Caretaker and both are social outcasts for various reasons (Filch was a Squib, Willy has a criminal record). Filch is an ageing, fun-hating, child-hating Jerkass who is Hated by All the students, whereas Willy is a youthful prank-loving Lovable Rogue who is a cult hero among the student faculty. Filch was apparently straight edge, whereas Willy enjoyed some worldly pleasures. However, while Filch's loyalty to Hogwarts couldn't be questioned, Willy served more than one employer.
- Lovable Rogue: He's almost always cheerful, and he's a cult hero among the student faculty.
- No-Sell: He usually brushes off Snape's insults.
- The Prankster: He pulled pranks in his youth, and upgraded to crime as an adult, even serving time in Azkaban.
- Really Fond of Sleeping: He really does enjoy a good catnap.
- The Stoner: Snape suspects this, but cannot prove it. Moaning Myrtle all but confirms it, though.
- Would Hurt a Child: He's not proud of it, but he's willing to kill Ginny in order to get out of debt. But he hesitates at the last minute, allowing Snape to stun him before he can follow through.
Death Eaters
Voldemort
An incredibly powerful and feared Dark Wizard who terrorized Magical Britain for years before trying to kill Harry Potter at the ripe old age of 1 year on Halloween night 1981. Inexplicably, he failed and was seemingly killed in the attempt, though not before killing the boy's parents and leaving him with a lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead. As it turns out, and as Dumbledore expected, he's alive, and plotting his return. Despite wanting to finish what he started with Harry, Voldemort slowly begins to develop a personal rivalry with Bart Simpson.
- Bad Boss: He's not a pleasant guy to serve.
- In Book 1, he callously leaves Quirrell to die.
- Book 2 reveals that he's this to his Horcruxes, as the soul fragment inside his diary (which was only ever meant to be a weapon) reveals that it hates being stuck in there but can't do anything about it other than fulfill its designed purpose.
- Big Bad: The main villain of the story.
- Combat Pragmatist: Ironically for a Muggle-hating supremacist, he's got no problem with physical combat, as his diary Horcrux uses punches and kicks against Gemma.
- The Dreaded: Folks hesitate to say his name, preferring "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named".
- Evil Counterpart:
- He's basically Bart without a conscience or the ability to give a damn about others. His growing up without parents to give him a moral compass (unlike Bart) is one of the reasons why.
- He shares many similarities with Gemma, but he sees both his family and followers as disposable, whereas Gemma does not.
- Foil: To Harry, Bart and Gemma.
- Like Harry, he grew up without parents or love, but whereas Harry maintained a level of decency and made genuine friends, Voldemort only sees those who associate with him as disposable pawns and is a heartless bastard.
- Like Bart, he's very talented and ambitious, has a father whom he is ashamed of, is charismatic, and knows how to manipulate others to achieve his ends. However, Bart has a conscience whereas Voldemort is a complete sociopath; Bart does love his father deep down whereas Voldemort killed his without regret; Bart (like Harry) knows how to give a damn about others and prefers to achieve his goals without really hurting anybody, whereas Voldemort only cares about himself and casually tramples over anyone in his pursuit of power; and finally, Voldemort badly damaged Slytherin's image with his crimes and played a huge part in it becoming filled (mostly) with contemptible jerks, whereas Bart is seen by Dumbledore as someone who could possibly repair the House's reputation and bury the hatchet with the other Houses.
- Like Gemma, he is an ambitious, aggressive, intelligent and knowledgeable Combat Pragmatist who does what's necessary to win. Both will also happily control and manipulative others to achieve their goals. Both are also treated with some suspicion by Dumbledore. The difference is that Gemma cares about Bart and her family, whereas Voldemort cares for nobody but himself. Gemma will also cooperate with people she normally distrusts should they face a common threat, whereas Voldemort is too distrusting to truly cooperate with anyone.
- Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: Averted. When Bart compares his appearance to Michael Jackson, Voldemort reveals that he is quite familiar with the pop-star—not because he listens to Jackson's music, but because he saw posters of the man within the homes of several Muggles he killed.
- The Sociopath: His diary Horcrux displays signs of this, being remarkably callous, entitled, and narcissistic. The author stated in a post-chapter author's note that this characterization was inspired by serial killer Ted Bundy.
- Tom the Dark Lord: The Trope Namer. Bart mercilessly takes the piss out of it.
- Would Hurt a Child: He tried to kill Harry when the latter was a baby.
- You Remind Me of X: Bart compares Tom Riddle to Sideshow Bob.
Lucius Malfoy
Draco Malfoy's obscenely wealthy, well-connected, aristocratic father.
- Adaptational Karma: He's arrested at the end of Book 2 for ordering Willy Widdershins to kill Ginny Weasley.
- Aristocrats Are Evil: He's basically nobility, and is an utter scumbag.
- Unholy Matrimony: He and his wife Narcissa are prejudiced aristocrats, but they love one another dearly and she intends to get him out of prison.
- Villainous Friendship: He's close friends with Snape, and is courteous toward his son's former governess, Merula Snyde. His ordering Ginny's murder turns Snape against him, though.
- Would Hurt a Child: Arranges for a Horcrux to be dropped into Ginny's cauldron, knowing that she'll fall victim to it. Later, he hires an assassin to kill her.
- You Remind Me of X: Bart compares him to Sideshow Bob.
