History Quotes / HarmlessVillain

-->-- '''Mike Ryan''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/thanos-infinty-stone/ "Thanos is Really Bad at Being a Supervillain"]]

-->-- ''Videogame/FallenLondon''

[[folder:Webcomics]]

-->-- The Narrator on [[{{Jerkass}} Eridan Ampora]], ''{{Webcomic/Homestuck}}''

[[folder:Web video]]

[[folder:RealLife]]

->Watching ComicBook/{{Thanos}} fail at obtaining an Infinity Stone has become as common as watching [[Series/TheDukesOfHazzard the Duke boys once again thwart Boss Hogg]]. And the thing is, it’s fun to watch the good guys win - and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win - but now I’ve started to feel [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain a legitimate amount of sympathy]] for Thanos. Would it kill the universe just to let the guy have one Stone? I mean, it has been ten movies. What would one Stone hurt? Perhaps this is why Creator/EdgarWright left ''Film/AntMan?'' Maybe his grand idea was for poor Thanos to finally get himself a Stone. "Sorry, Edgar, that's just never going to happen. [[GetOut We have to let you go now]] for even suggesting such a thing."

->''"What am I supposed to do, drop it in the road and wait for Kirby to trip over it?"''
-->--'''King Dedede''', about '''[[MonsterOfTheWeek Blocky]]''', ''Anime/KirbyRightBackAtYa''

->''"Your pranks are so miserable."''
-->-- '''Stanley to [[{{Satan}} "George"]]''', ''Film/{{Bedazzled 1967}}''

->''"Remember, if this makes the papers, we're no longer the "Wet Bandits", we're the "''Sticky'' Bandits"! That's S...T...I..."''

->'''Laurie:'''I remember I caught him coming out of this jeweler's. I didn't know ''what'' his racket was. I start hitting him and I think "Jeez, [[TooKinkyToTorture he's breathing funny]]! Does he have asthma?"\\
'''Dan:''' He tried that with ''me'', only I'd heard about him, so I just walked away. He follows me down the street--broad daylight, right?--screaming "Punish me! PUNISH ME!" I'm like "No! Get lost!"\\

-->--''{{Film/Watchmen}}'', discussing "Captain Carnage"

->''"Harmony, when you tried to be head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the homecoming committee, you were ''really'' bad. But when you try to ''be'' bad? '''''You suck'''''."''
-->--'''Buffy Summers''', ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''

->''"I ''am'' evil--stop laughing!"''
-->--'''Veigar, the Tiny Master of Evil''', ''VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends''

'''Murray:''' ...Is it a really '''evil'''-looking doorstop?\\

->''"In a city where [[DeathIsCheap death can be temporary]], lunatic murderers are not treated with especial respect....a throat-cutting spree is not very much worse than a wasp's nest. It must be vexing for him."''
-->--''Videogame/FallenLondon''

'''Foc [=McCloud=]:''' OK, I see now. So we're here because...

->''"Your penchant for mass murder notwithstanding, people tend to regard you as a bit of tool."''
-->--'''The Narrator''', on '''[[{{Jerkass}} Eridan Ampora]]''', ''{{Webcomic/Homestuck}}''

->'''Ganon''': Now how am I gonna get back at that ''jerk'' for everything he's done to me? Hmm, I could always kidnap the princess... nah, been there, done that. I could just go and kill him, but that wouldn't be evil enough... No, I must do something so utterly evil, he'll be all like, "Whoa dude, that was like totally evil!" I got it! I'll go punch him in the nose! That'll show him!
-->--''Webcomic/ZeldaComic''

->''"In real news, the Weather Underground bombs the US State Department, hurting absolutely nobody and generally continuing their reputation as the fluffy bunnies of the terrorist world."''
-->--'''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2011/10/monsters-are-real-ark-in-space.html El Sandifer]]'''

->''"The Borrower's superpower was leaving [[CallingCard signed documentation]] at the scene of all his robberies. That's like being a regular criminal only easier to convict -- like, suspiciously easier. His escape vehicle is a chatty stroll and he's dressed like an embedded reporter in a war between leprechauns. If a rookie superhero saw The Borrower, he'd probably say, 'Oh, fuck. This is all [[CandidCameraPrank some kind of Make a Wish Foundation stunt.]] I'm ... I'm dying, aren't I?'"''
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-craziest-villains-ever-defeated-by-snack-cakes/#ixzz31qeT7vZk "The 6 Crazies Villains Ever Defeated by Snack Cakes"]]

->''"The Dominators are masters of the ten galaxies…I bet those galaxies are [[InformedAbility a bit embarrassed about that.]]"''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/the-dominators-written-by-norman-ashby.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS6E1TheDominators}} "The Dominators"]]

->'''Romulan''': “I mean, the Ferengi get more exposure than we do. We really have to work on our brand.”
-->--[[https://them0vieblog.com/2016/05/20/star-trek-enterprise-united-review/ TheM0vieBlog]]'' on ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise, "United"

->''"I would like to submit that Aeon the Terrible is not very good at being terrible."''

->''"A geeky, awkward research scientist turned flamboyant, rubber-faced idiot...His [[FoeYay pseudo-sexual obsession]] with Bruce Wayne compels him to leave brain teasers for Bruce every now and then. Terrifying!"''
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on [[Film/BatmanForever Jim Carrey's Riddler]]

->''"I genuinely love how she says that no one’s going to be able to protect them from the plants, and everybody just [[MyGodYouAreSerious busts out laughing at her]], and Gossip Gertie is all 'in Gotham, we’ve got Batman, so f*** you.' [[NeverMessWithGranny Gossip Gertie don’t shiv.]]"''
-->--'''''[=ComicsAlliance=]''''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/batman-and-robin-movie-review/ on]] [[Film/BatmanAndRobin Poison Ivy]]

->''"Mr. Hyde is not all that compelling in this movie. He is built up all during the first half (kind of like Harry Lime in ''Film/TheThirdMan'') where we only get [[TheDreaded glimpses and whispers]] of how evil he is. When we finally meet him we find he is not so much evil as just an asshole. He beats up a few people but the majority of his evil acts are insulting people and drawing penises in medical textbooks ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I’m not kidding]]). Heck I can get that from any episode of ''{{Series/House}}.''"''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/mary-reilly-1996-stephen-frears-2/ on]] ''Mary Reilly'' (1996)

->'''Chris:''' Dracula in this movie definitely looks like [[RidiculouslyAverageGuy the default version in a video game]] that allows you to customize your character. “…And [[VideoGame/MassEffect Commander John Shepard]] as Dracula.”\\
'''David:''' There’s nothing Draculesque about him at all.\\
'''Chris:''' He doesn’t even have ''one'' medallion.
-->--Chris Sims and David Uzumeri [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-blade-trinity-2004-part-one/ on]] ''Film/BladeTrinity''

->''"Watching Thanos fail at obtaining an Infinity Stone has become as common as watching [[Series/TheDukesOfHazzard the Duke boys once again thwart Boss Hogg]]. And the thing is, it’s fun to watch the good guys win -- and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win -- but now I’ve started to feel [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain a legitimate amount of sympathy]] for Thanos. Would it kill the universe just to let the guy have one Stone? I mean, it has been ten movies. What would one Stone hurt? Perhaps this is why Creator/EdgarWright left ''Film/AntMan''? Maybe his grand idea was for poor Thanos to finally get himself a Stone. '' 'Sorry, Edgar, that’s just never going to happen. [[GetOut We have to let you go now]] for even suggesting such a thing.' ''"''
-->--'''Mike Ryan''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/thanos-infinty-stone/ "Thanos is Really Bad at Being a Supervillain"]]

->''"Oh, and we also got an appearance by a vaguely heel [[{{Characters/WWECommentators}} Lord Alfred Hayes]], who [[WhoNamesTheirKidDude made fun of Todd’s name]]. And yeah, that was pretty much heel Alfred – he was never blatantly evil, just more like he got out of the wrong side of the bed in the morning."''
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/wwf-mania-episode-1-an-hour-straight-of-todd-pettengill-thatll-be-good-right/ "WWF Mania, Episode 1"]]

->''"This diabolical baddie has entered the realms of rude. RUDE!"''
-->--'''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSwanPrincess'' review

->''I never tip, I butt in line\\

(This bad guy thing's a breeze!)''
--> -- '''King K. Rool''' during a song in ''WesternAnimation/DonkeyKongCountry''

->''"Plankton. One percent evil. Ninety-nine percent hot gas."''
-->--'''Karen''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''

->''"Another failure, Shredder? You have an almost perfect record!"''
-->-- '''Krang''', ''[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''

->'''Jake''': These guys aren't a threat to anyone.\\
'''Finn''': These guys are a threat to ''themselves.''
-->--'''Finn''' and '''Jake''' on the Cuties, ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' ("Conquest of Cuteness")

->'''Dr. Gevaarjlik''': Heinz, evil doesn't have to be on a big scale. You can spread evil [[PokeThePoodle in the little things you do everyday.]]
->'''Dr. Doofenshmirtz''': You're right.
->'''Dr. Gevaarjlik''': BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN DO ''THAT''! You're a total failure!
-->--''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', "Oil On Candace"

-> '''The Narrator:''' Oh, Amoeba Boys, you're so dumb! But we love you anyway.
-->--''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls''

->'''Monarch:''' ''(Narrating)'' So what's all this crap about levels? Level 10, level 4, level whatever? It's not that confusing. An EMA level means an "Equally Matched Aggression" level. It all started with, that's right, the original Dr. Venture. See, fifty years ago, there was this freshman villain called Turnbuckle. No fancy car, no weapons, no clue, right? He shows up at the Venture Compound and snatches Rusty from his playpen or whatever and demands a fight.
->'''[[AxCrazy Action Man]]:''' Step away from the boy.
->'''Turnbuckle:''' Cousin! You face [[LargeHam Tuuuuurnbuckle!]] My punch is devastating!
->'''Action Man:''' Step the [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] away from the boy!
->'''Monarch:''' The guy puts up his dukes like a total douche, so the Action Man, because he's a full-on psycho, pistol whips him into the ground like a tent pole. And then this Turnbuckle, he looks up and says-
->'''Turnbuckle:''' [[DefiantToTheEnd Kiss my ass!]]
->'''Monarch:''' Click. Takes one right in the brain. ''Not equal.'' So they came up with this system. You have huge balls, a deadly partner, an armed headquarters, a huge henchman army and a flying car? You're like a level 9 or 10. If you just have a sidekick and enough change to ride the New Jersey P.A.T.H. train, you're a 4. Guess who's a 4?
-->--''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBros''

->''"'I, Voldemort, give you full permission to use the most evil of magics!' They're like, no, Voldemort! Not the ear magic! 'YES! BURN ALL THEIR FUCKIN' EARS!'"''

-->-- '''Mike Fireball''' in [[http://progressiveboink.com/archive/shinynewyear.html his review]] of ''Rudolph's Shiny New Year''

'''Foc McCloud:''' OK, I see now. So we're here because...

-->--'''The Narrator''', on '''[[{{Jerkass}} Eridan Ampora]]''', ''Homestuck''

->''"Even if in real life she ''is'' the bad guy, that doesn't mean she can ''play'' the bad guy."''
-->--'''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''' on Music/TaylorSwift

->What am I supposed to do, drop it in the road and wait for Kirby to trip over it?

->Your pranks are so miserable.

->Remember, if this makes the papers, we're no longer the "Wet Bandits", we're the "''Sticky'' Bandits"! That's S...T...I...

->Harmony, when you tried to be head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the homecoming committee, you were ''really'' bad. But when you try to ''be'' bad? '''''You suck'''''.

->I ''am'' evil--stop laughing!

->In a city where [[DeathIsCheap death can be temporary]], lunatic murderers are not treated with especial respect....a throat-cutting spree is not very much worse than a wasp's nest. It must be vexing for him.

->Your penchant for mass murder notwithstanding, people tend to regard you as a bit of tool.

->In real news, the Weather Underground bombs the US State Department, hurting absolutely nobody and generally continuing their reputation as the fluffy bunnies of the terrorist world.

->The Borrower's superpower was leaving [[CallingCard signed documentation]] at the scene of all his robberies. That's like being a regular criminal only easier to convict -- like, suspiciously easier. His escape vehicle is a chatty stroll and he's dressed like an embedded reporter in a war between leprechauns. If a rookie superhero saw The Borrower, he'd probably say, 'Oh, fuck. This is all [[CandidCameraPrank some kind of Make a Wish Foundation stunt.]] I'm ... I'm dying, aren't I?'

->The Dominators are masters of the ten galaxies…I bet those galaxies are [[InformedAbility a bit embarrassed about that.]]

->I would like to submit that Aeon the Terrible is not very good at being terrible.

->A geeky, awkward research scientist turned flamboyant, rubber-faced idiot...His [[FoeYay pseudo-sexual obsession]] with Bruce Wayne compels him to leave brain teasers for Bruce every now and then. Terrifying!

->I genuinely love how she says that no one’s going to be able to protect them from the plants, and everybody just [[MyGodYouAreSerious busts out laughing at her]], and Gossip Gertie is all 'in Gotham, we’ve got Batman, so f*** you.' [[NeverMessWithGranny Gossip Gertie don’t shiv.]]

->Mr. Hyde is not all that compelling in this movie. He is built up all during the first half (kind of like Harry Lime in ''Film/TheThirdMan'') where we only get [[TheDreaded glimpses and whispers]] of how evil he is. When we finally meet him we find he is not so much evil as just an asshole. He beats up a few people but the majority of his evil acts are insulting people and drawing penises in medical textbooks ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I’m not kidding]]). Heck I can get that from any episode of ''{{Series/House}}.''

->Watching Thanos fail at obtaining an Infinity Stone has become as common as watching [[Series/TheDukesOfHazzard the Duke boys once again thwart Boss Hogg]]. And the thing is, it’s fun to watch the good guys win -- and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win -- but now I’ve started to feel [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain a legitimate amount of sympathy]] for Thanos. Would it kill the universe just to let the guy have one Stone? I mean, it has been ten movies. What would one Stone hurt? Perhaps this is why Creator/EdgarWright left ''Film/AntMan''? Maybe his grand idea was for poor Thanos to finally get himself a Stone. ''"Sorry, Edgar, that’s just never going to happen. [[GetOut We have to let you go now]] for even suggesting such a thing."''

->Oh, and we also got an appearance by a vaguely heel [[{{Characters/WWECommentators}} Lord Alfred Hayes]], who [[WhoNamesTheirKidDude made fun of Todd’s name]]. And yeah, that was pretty much heel Alfred – he was never blatantly evil, just more like he got out of the wrong side of the bed in the morning.

->Even if in real life she ''is'' the bad guy, that doesn't mean she can ''play'' the bad guy.

->Plankton. One percent evil. Ninety-nine percent hot gas.

->Another failure, Shredder? You have an almost perfect record!

->'I, Voldemort, give you full permission to use the most evil of magics!' They're like, no, Voldemort! Not the ear magic! 'YES! BURN ALL THEIR FUCKIN' EARS!'

[[AC:Anime]]

[[AC:Film -- Live-Action]]

[[AC:Literature]]

[[AC:Live-Action TV]]

[[AC:Video Games]]

[[AC:Webcomics]]

[[AC:Web Original]]

[[AC:Western Animation]]

[[AC:RealLife]]

->'''[[VillainProtagonist Catherine]]: '''I don’t get why Traitorous was so popular. I mean, [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder he betrayed pretty much everyone that ever dealt with him]].\\
'''Ratface: '''Admittedly he was [[TheCaligula quite insane]]. But as far as [[TheEmperor Dread Emperors]] go he was one of the better ones.\\
'''Catherine: '''I don’t recall him actually accomplishing anything. And after something like the War of Thirteen Tyrants and One there must have been a lot of rebuilding to do.\\
'''[[OurOrcsAreDifferent Hakram]]: '''It’s the same reason westerners are fond of [[TheBard Bards]]. He was hilariously ineffective.
-->-- ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil,'' [[https://practicalguidetoevil.wordpress.com/2015/11/11/chapter-1-supply/ Book 2, Chapter 1]]

->[[TheEmperor Dread Emperors and Empresses]] broadly fell into two categories: the laughable and the terrifying. Thankfully for Calernia, the latter were few and far in between. For every Maleficent and Terribilis, there were ten Sinistras – whose notorious attempt to “steal Callow’s weather” had resulted in the devastation of half her realm instead. The point was that, most of the time, the Dread Empire was comically inept. They used undead plagues and flying fortresses, sentient tiger armies and invisible invasions. Those grand projects inevitably failed and most backfired spectacularly. Of the Empire’s seventy-odd attempts to conquer Callow only two had succeeded.
-->-- ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil,'' [[https://practicalguidetoevil.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/prologue-2/ Book 2 Prologue]]

-->--'''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2011/10/monsters-are-real-ark-in-space.html Phil Sandifer]]'''

[[TheEmperor Dread Emperors and Empresses]] broadly fell into two categories: the laughable and the terrifying. Thankfully for Calernia, the latter were few and far in between. For every Maleficent and Terribilis, there were ten Sinistras – whose notorious attempt to “steal Callow’s weather” had resulted in the devastation of half her realm instead. The point was that, most of the time, the Dread Empire was comically inept. They used undead plagues and flying fortresses, sentient tiger armies and invisible invasions. Those grand projects inevitably failed and most backfired spectacularly. Of the Empire’s seventy-odd attempts to conquer Callow only two had succeeded.

[[AC:Western Animation]]

->''I never tip, I butt in line\\
I never clean the dishes and it suits me fine\\
I'm so pleased, I'm such a sleaze\\
(This bad guy thing's a breeze!)''
--> -- '''King K. Rool''' during a song in ''WesternAnimation/DonkeyKongCountry''

->Plankton. One percent evil. Ninety-nine percent hot gas.
-->--'''Karen''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''

->Another failure, Shredder? You have an almost perfect record!
-->-- '''Krang''', ''[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''

->'''Jake''': These guys aren't a threat to anyone.\\
'''Finn''': These guys are a threat to ''themselves.''
-->--'''Finn''' and '''Jake''' on the Cuties, ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' ("Conquest of Cuteness")

->'''Dr. Gevaarjlik''': Heinz, evil doesn't have to be on a big scale. You can spread evil [[PokeThePoodle in the little things you do everyday.]]
->'''Dr. Doofenshmirtz''': You're right.
->'''Dr. Gevaarjlik''': BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN DO ''THAT''! You're a total failure!
-->--''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', "Oil On Candace"

-> '''The Narrator:''' Oh, Amoeba Boys, you're so dumb! But we love you anyway.
-->--''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls''

->Watching Thanos fail at obtaining an Infinity Stone has become as common as watching [[Series/TheDukesOfHazzard the Duke boys once again thwart Boss Hogg]]. And the thing is, it’s fun to watch the good guys win -- and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win, and win -- but now I’ve started to feel [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain a legitimate amount of sympathy]] for Thanos. Would it kill the universe just to let the guy have one Stone? I mean, it has been ten movies. What would one Stone hurt? Perhaps this is why EdgarWright left ''Film/AntMan''? Maybe his grand idea was for poor Thanos to finally get himself a Stone. ''"Sorry, Edgar, that’s just never going to happen. [[GetOut We have to let you go now]] for even suggesting such a thing."''

->What am I supposed to do, drop it in the road and wait for Kirby to trip over it?
-->--'''King Dedede''', about '''[[MonsterOfTheWeek Blocky]]''', ''Anime/KirbyRightBackAtYa''

-->--''ZeldaComic''

->Given the challenges they face week-in and week-out, Morris Fletcher really is not that big a threat to Mulder and Scully; once Scully figures out that he is not Mulder in ''Dreamland II'', he becomes more of a nuisance than a problem. Morris Fletcher might be a reasonably competent mid-level man in black, but he cannot compete with the sheer odious evil of the Cigarette-Smoking Man...In that way, perhaps, he is [[NotSoDifferent a reflection of the Lone Gunmen.]] ''Unusual Suspects'' suggested that the Lone Gunmen gave up comfortable and relatively normal lives in order to pursue a romantic ideal that they may never actually attain.
-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2015/11/27/the-lone-gunmen-all-about-yves-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Series/TheLoneGunmen'', "All About Yves"

-->'''Dr. Gevaarjlik''': Heinz, evil doesn't have to be on a big scale. You can spread evil [[PokeThePoodle in the little things you do everyday.]]
-->'''Dr. Doofenshmirtz''': You're right.
-->'''Dr. Gevaarjlik''': BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN DO ''THAT''! You're a total failure!

->--''Videogame/FallenLondon''

!!!Fiction
->''I never tip, I butt in line\\
I never clean the dishes and it suits me fine\\
I'm so pleased, I'm such a sleaze\\
(This bad guy thing's a breeze!)''
--> -- '''King K. Rool''' during a song in ''WesternAnimation/DonkeyKongCountry''

-->-- '''[[UnluckyEverydude Stanley]] to [[{{Satan}} George]]''', ''Film/{{Bedazzled 1967}}''

->Plankton. One percent evil. Ninety-nine percent hot gas.
-->--'''Karen''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''

->Another failure, Shredder? You have an almost perfect record!
-->-- '''Krang''', ''[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''

->Remember, if this makes the papers, we're no longer the Wet Bandits, we're the Sticky Bandits! That's S...T...I...
-->-- '''Marv Merchants''', ''FIlm/HomeAlone''

->'''Jake''': These guys aren't a threat to anyone.\\
'''Finn''': These guys are a threat to ''themselves.''
-->--'''Finn''' and '''Jake''' on the Cuties, ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' ("Conquest of Cuteness")

->Your penchant for mass murder notwithstanding, people tend to regard you as a bit of tool.
-->--'''The Narrator''', on '''[[{{Jerkass}} Eridan Ampora]]''', ''Homestuck''

->'''Guybrush:''' You're about as fearsome as a doorstop.\\
'''Murray:''' ...Is it a really '''evil'''-looking doorstop?\\
'''Guybrush:''' Uh, never mind.
-->-- ''VideoGame/TheCurseOfMonkeyIsland''

->'''Laurie:''' Hey, you remember that guy? The one who pretended to be a supervillain so he could get beaten up? What was his name..? "Captain Carnage."\\
'''Dan:''' Yeah, he was one for the books.\\
'''Laurie:''' You're telling me. I remember I caught him coming out of this jeweler's... I didn't know ''what'' his racket was. I start hitting him and I think "Jeez, [[TooKinkyToTorture he's breathing funny! Does he have asthma?]]"\\

-->--''{{Film/Watchmen}}''

->'''Ganon''': Now how am I gonna get back at that ''jerk'' for everything he's done to me? Hmm, I could always kidnap the princess... nah, been there, done that. I could just go and kill him, but that wouldn't be evil enough... No, I must do something so utterly evil, he'll be all like, "Whoa dude, that was like totally evil!" I got it! I'll go punch him in the nose! That'll show him!\\
'''Bit''': That's gotta be the worst idea I've ever heard!
-->--''ZeldaComic''

-->--'''Veigar, the Tiny Master of Evil''', ''LeagueOfLegends''

-->'''Dr. Gevaarjlik''': Heinz, evil doesn't have to be on a big scale. You can spread evil [[PokeThePoodle in the little things you do everyday.]]
-->'''Dr. Doofenshmirtz''': You're right.
-->'''Dr. Gevaarjlik''': BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN DO ''THAT''! You're a total failure!
-->--''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', "Oil On Candace"

->[[DeathIsCheap In a city where death can be temporary]], [[AxCrazy lunatic murderers]] are not treated with especial respect. Jack-of-Smiles is still dangerous. If he [[NotEnoughToBury slices you into proper collops, you're not coming back]]. But a [[SlashedThroat throat-cutting spree]] is not very much worse than a wasp's nest. It must be vexing for him.

!!!RealLife

->'I, Voldemort, give you full permission to use the most evil of magics!' They're like, no, Voldemort! Not the ear magic! 'YES! BURN ALL THEIR FUCKIN' EARS!'
-->-- '''Creator/KevinSmith''' on ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows Deathly Hallows]]''

->[[Wrestling/VinceRusso The PTB guy]] placates [[Wrestling/RoddyPiper Piper]] just long enough to calm him down. PTB tells Piper that he'll be appearing on TV all right, but as a *lowly* referee......and if that doesn't work, PTB will show Piper -- he'll demote him all the way down to '''[[{{Unishment}} COMMISSIONER!]]'''
-->--'''[[http://www.ddtdigest.com/updates/1999113m.htm DDT]]''' on ''Wrestling/WCWMondayNitro'' 11.22.99