History LethalChef / FanWorks

* ''Fanfic/OnceMoreWithFeeling'': Shinji has very bad memories of Misato's horrid cooking skills. When she tells him that he will be staying with her, Shinji is happy... until he remembers it means he will have to eat whatever she "cooks" again, and he gets terrified.

* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13370792/2/Family-Magic]]'':

* [[OriginalCharacter Samuel D. Sigurd]] of ''Fanfic/HeroesDXDThisIsOurStory'' seems to have a bad habit of attracting them. [[LightNovel/HighSchoolDXD Sona Sitri]], who is already a canon example, often has him buy "ingredients" that include industrial grade coloring agents, while [[Manga/MyHeroAcademia Yui Kodai]] once made a meal that apparently left Sammy bedridden for a week. Then there's [[LightNovel/InfiniteStratos Cecilia Alcott]], another canon example, who once made sandwiches that, while they look normal, still knocked Sammy out cold. It doesn't help that he's a NiceGuy who willingly poisons himself with their cooking because of all the effort they put into it.

* ''Blog/BetterBonesAU'': When Fernstripe joins [=ThunderClan=] from [=WindClan=], the cats of [=ThunderClan=] are excited to have a cat who can teach them WindClan cooking techniques like making tunnelbuns. Unfortunately she turns out to be horrible at cooking.

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13884966/6/Trifecta Trifecta]]'' Hermione set her parents' kitchen on fire ''five times''. The last time, which nearly destroyed it, happened while trying to make ''cold cereal''.

* Fanfic/FracturedInfinity: Momo’s attempts to cook for her allies on an away team. From their dialogue and the descriptions, it’s clear they’re fighting back the urge not to grow up.

[[AC:''Franchise/{{Naruto}}'']]

* ''[[Fanfic/WhatYouKneadNaruto What You Knead]]'' [[ZigZaggingTrope Zig-Zags this]] with Kakashi. While his first attempts to bake bread turn out poorly, they help him realize that MistakesAreNotTheEndOfTheWorld, and he eventually becomes skilled enough to open his own bakery. That said, a RunningGag is that practically any time he tries a new recipe, ''something'' goes wrong. It takes time and repetition for him to make things work, and this doesn't stop Iruka or his students from teasing him about his {{Epic Fail}}ures.

[[AC:''Franchise/NeonGenesisEvangelion'']]

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8335287/1/Engineer-s-Peanut-Allergy Engineer's Peanut Allergy]],'' Engineer's 9-year-old daughter sends him a care package with a letter, a drawing, and two vaguely-cookie-shaped blobs that look like cement. They're almost literally lethal because they turn out to have peanuts in them, which he's allergic to.

* [[OriginalCharacter Samuel D. Sigurd]] of ''Fanfic/HeroesDXDThisIsOurStory'' seems to have a bad habit of attracting them. [[LightNovel/HighSchoolDXD Sona Sitri]], who is already a canon example, often has either him buy "ingredients" that include industrial grade coloring agents. [[Manga/MyHeroAcademia Yui Kodai]] once made a meal that apparently left Sammy bedridden for a week. Then there's [[LightNovel/InfiniteStratos Cecilia Alcott]], another canon example, who once made sandwiches that, while they look normal, still knocked Sammy out cold. It doesn't help that he's a NiceGuy who willingly positions himself with their cooking because of all the effort they put into it.

* In ''Fanfic/HeroAcademiaDXD'', Ibara's first attempt to make breakfast at the Midoriya apartment ends with her burning the eggs and juice (somehow). Momo is, somehow, ''worse''. Ibara will make chocolate with ''vinegar'' creating a sour concoction: Momo's chocolates not only have vinegar, but ice coffee, bell peppers, and fish sausages as ingredients, give off dark auras, and wipe out Izuku's sense of taste for a week after knocking him out.

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[[AC:''Franchise/FinalFantasy'']]
* In [[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2272947/ Ronin-ai's]] ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII'' universe, Irvine Kinneas is this, so much so that Squall Leonheart learned to be a very good cook in "self-defense".
* Vili in ''Fanfic/TheTaintedGrimoire'' put poison in the meal she cooked for Luso, Crow, Hurdy, Kanin, and Adelle when she mistakenly thought it was just seasoning.

----


* Alphamon in ''Fanfic/ADragonInShiningArmour'' likes to create... unique blends of tea, most of which are fairly noxious. The other Royal Knights are probably fortunate that he limits himself to tea.

* [[Anime/KanColle Hiei's]] fail-tastic cooking is well-established. ''Fanfic/BlizzardOfTheRedCastle'' adds nuance in that apparently she can at least brew tea. ''Kirishima'', however, apparently has the opposite issue: She can cook... But her tea is bad enough that Kongo can only stomach it [[INeedAFreakingDrink spiked with rum]]!


* ''Fanfic/{{What Lies Beneath|OrangeCat64}}'': [[LikeMotherLikeDaughter Like her mother]], Zephyr isn't that great of a cook, her instinct when it comes to making soup is to throw whatever ingredients they have into it.

* In ''Fanfic/IThinkWellBeOkay'', Kosuke is actually a SupremeChef when it comes to savory foods, and her skills in the kitchen get her unanimous praise from everyone. However, when it comes to ''sweet'' foods, she's absolutely hopeless. Her cookies once burned so horribly they ''disappeared in the oven.'' Apparently sugar is her kryptonite.

* In ''Fanfic/RouletteWheelOfFate'', Shen Qingqiu's first try at preparing soup resulted in Liu Qingge asking if it was a poisoning attempt, while Luo Binghe muses the Huan Hua Palace would use it in combo with the Water Prison to ensure the prisoners would be tortured to an inch of their life.

* [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Derpy Hooves]] isn't much better in ''Fanfic/WereGonnaGetThereSoon''. PlayedForDrama when she's tasked with bringing snacks for the next Weather Team meeting, and she promises herself she'll prove to them that she's able to complete a task without it ending in disaster. She's on the verge of tears after several attempts result in flaming muffins, muffins that are simultaneously undercooked and overcooked, and turning the kitchen into a disaster area that gave Thunderlane's mother an aneurysm.

* In ''Fanfic/AvengersInfiniteWars'', circumstances lead to Princess Shuri of Wakanda joining the Avengers after her brother and various other heroes vanish, with the result that the team is just Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Shuri and Jennifer Walters for a time. When Shuri is trying to cook in the kitchen of Avengers Tower, it soon becomes clear that she has literally no skill in this area, to the extent that Tony and Clint are genuinely scared of what she might do if left alone in the kitchen.
* ''Fanfic/TheEmiyaClan'':
** Kiritsugu Jr manages not only to make food that you can't eat but also to make food that eats ''you''. Whatever he cooks somehow comes to life as some kind of EldritchAbomination. This includes (but isn't limited to): Sliced cucumbers becoming tentacle beasts, boiled water becoming flaming water spirits, roasted chicken turning into an undead monstrosity that is almost impossible to kill, and fried bacon becoming sentient, escaping into the basement, building an underground civilization based on the worship of his daughter, and vowing vengeance on the surface world.
** His sister Chiyo also cooks notoriously badly, but while her food might taste so bad it almost kills you, it's so healthy you feel like a million bucks afterwards.
* Vili in ''Fanfic/TheTaintedGrimoire'' put poison in the meal she cooked for Luso, Crow, Hurdy, Kanin, and Adelle when she mistakenly thought it was just seasoning.
* In the Fanfiction story ''Percy Jackson Olympus Divided'', Thalia Grace is said to be this, with comments suggesting her oatmeal was bad enough to put Artemis, a goddess, in the hospital. When she ate her own pancakes...she ended up in the hospital.

* [[Anime/PokemonTheSeries Ash Ketchum]] of ''Fanfic/LatiasJourney'' is such a horrible chef that he lights water [[IncendiaryExponent on fire]]. Not burned, but actually ''on fire''.
* In [[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2272947/ Ronin-ai's]] ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII'' universe, Irvine Kinneas is this, so much so that Squall Leonheart learned to be a very good cook in "self-defense".
* Lind in ''Fanfic/AhArchfall'' has terrible cooking skills, possibly linked to her lack of magic.

* ''Fanfic/LegendaryGenesis'' has Chef Muk, who's supposedly an exceptional cook in spite of her unsanitary habits. According to Dion, everybody at Arcanine's Academy has developed an immunity to her cooking.
* [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Suki]] in ''Fanfic/TheStalkingZukoSeries'' has food that tastes like congealed sadness and burned a roast to an inedible crisp. Sokka ate it anyways because he loves her. Justified in that she never had to cook before as the other Kyoshi Warriors did. She gets better in ''Not Stalking Firelord Zuko'' when she makes a dish that's tasteless but edible. [[CharacterDevelopment She's learning.]]
* Averted, but discussed by the main character of ''Fanfic/SleepingWithTheGirls'', who, being a human being from the Real World, points out that he isn't bound by the "Conventions" of the fictional universes he's in. As such, his cooking skills fall into neither this nor "Epic Win" status. At the bare minimum, he's shown moderate skill in making omelets- neither toxic nor blissfully amazing, they're simply normal omelets.
* Tony Stark is a pretty sorry cook in ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8940476/5/A-Past-Encounter A Past Encounter]]'' when he attempts to make pancakes and tries to cook them by sticking them in the oven, burning them into ashes.
* In ''[[http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-14366-9/misterq+Parent+Trap.htm Parent Trap]]'', [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Xander]] remarks that his mom can't cook, leading to this exchange.
-->'''Willow:''' Can't cook as in not very good at it?\\
'''Xander:''' No. She can't cook as in prohibited from doing so by the CDC, the Geneva convention, and several international agencies. Ever since... last time.
* According to this [[http://thediscomilf.tumblr.com/ RP blog]] Ryuuko and Nui are apparently these, as Nui, somehow, managed to burn an entire town to the ground with cooking, along with the fact that she used ''white phosphorus'' as an ingredient (going by that, she might have used a lot), and, apparently, when she and Ryuuko's cooking talents are combined, the result were brownies which are described to be "something worse than napalm made with household ingredients".
* "Water + Veggies + Meats + Soy sauce + [[Franchise/TouhouProject Yukari]] = [[EpicFail nuclear bombs]]" [[http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/667972?tags=yakumo_yukari+explosion]].
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10715176/13/A-Muggle-Gap-Year A Muggle Gap Year]]'' Charlie Weasley's cooking ability - or lack of same - is vigorously derided by his colleagues. One of them tilts her plate in an effort to identify his latest concoction and the food on it doesn't even ''move''.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9602506/4/The-New-Kid The New Kid]]'':
-->"This is worse than that time Lavender invited us to her house and tried to cook for us," [Neville] joked, shuddering at the memory of an orange-colored steak that tasted of raw fish and sweat.
* In Creator/AAPessimal's ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'', the Guild of Assassins now employs a Domestic Science teacher. In her ''special'' lessons to senior girls on the Black Track, Joan Sanderson-Reeves teaches that the way to ''stop'' a man's heart is indeed through his stomach. Although in the case of certain beverages she prepares, she will accept "kidneys" or "bladder" as an answer.
* In chapter 1 of ''Fanfic/ThousandShinji'', Shinji has to try Misato's cooking. He seriously wonders if that... bizarre, highly-spicy glob resting on his plate won't kill him.
* Anna in the ''WesternAnimation/Frozen2013'' fanfic ''Fanfic/CafeLiegeois'' is described as one. She still manages her job as a barista just fine though:
-->Anna had been banned from the kitchen at home for very good reason; every time she entered, insisting that she could help, something was bound to go wrong. Her very touch brought about the dinner apocalypse. The pot on the stove would boil over, the bread would first burn and then inexplicably catch on fire, the chicken would be roasted to a crispy sooty black, the meat would always come out rare no matter how long it was left in the oven, the cake crumbled in on itself into a mess of rock-hard chunks and her father was still traumatized badly enough by her 'Fruit Sundae of Epic Awesomeness' that, four years later, he still couldn't look at pineapples and corkscrews in the same way. They were lucky that Anna's mother had forbidden her from attempting to slice and dice vegetables, or their beloved but hopelessly clumsy daughter would be short a few fingers.
* Arf's attempts at cooking in ''Fanfic/{{Infinity}}'' is somehow capable of burning through Nanoha's shields and feeling anger. Tsukuyomi mentions later on that the ingredients would have been better suited for a chemical weapon.
-->'''Arf:''' Fate, the whipped cream has grown teeth!

* In ''[[https://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-28404-1/DianeCastle%2bXendra.htm Xendra]]'', [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Buffy's]] two biggest problems with cooking are always removing the pot's lid to check on the food (Willow eventually buys her glass pot lids), and not understanding that food must be cooked at the temperature and for the time specified. Xander once notes that if Buffy had to bake something for two hours at 225 degrees, she was liable to bake it for one hour at 450 and if she could, she'd try to bake it for six minutes at 4500 degrees.
* ''Fanfic/TheAdventuresOfJaina'': [[HighPriest Azzanadra]] is quite literally legendarily bad at cooking, to the point that the citizens of the Zarosian Empire feared him going anywhere near a kitchen even after thousands of years had passed since his first attempt! As a [[HumanoidAliens Mahjarrat]] he doesn't need to eat, and his knowledge of cooking is basically 'it exists', and a general idea of what is healthy for humans. When he tries to make breakfast for Jaina, he forgets what parts of vegetables are edible, has to scrape the fish off the pan because he didn't oil it beforehand, and splatters burnt bread dough over the oven because he forgot to put it in a pan. He at least manages to satisfactorily slice fruit.
->'''Jaina: Garlic and onions are supposed to be peeled before you eat them because the skin isn't edible![…] Cabbage, really? Wait, this isn't cabbage at all... huh... corn leaves? Those aren't edible either... and these beans are dry! Beans have to be soaked overnight and boiled in water before you eat them.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11408742/1/Black-Black Black & Black]]'':
-->While he cleaned after himself, partly out of habit and partly because he found it relaxing, they had house elves doing the general chores and cooking when Harry could not. He had learned early that Draco was to be kept away from the kitchen lest they all be poisoned.
* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/5300450 Cupcake Wars]]'', Steve brags to everyone that Bucky always made him the best cupcakes for his birthday while they were growing up but when Bucky tries to bake them again after a 70-year gap, he can only make a sludge-like mess that breaks his spoon in half. Not wanting to disappoint Steve, he buys cupcakes from a nearby bakery and pretends that he made them himself. [[spoiler:It turns out that he had ''always'' been a Lethal Chef and that he and Steve had always pretended that the store cupcakes he bought for his birthdays had been made by him instead.]]
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12877876/1/Bats-Shouldn-t-Get-Hurt Bats Shouldn't Get Hurt]]'':
-->'''Harry:''' Sorry Tom, but even Dudley can cook better than you and I don't think he knows how to cook. You do realize water can't burn right?

* Kitty Pryde from ''Fanfic/TheInstituteSaga'' manages to burn a salad and set a saucepan of water on fire.
* ''Fanfic/{{Kindred}}'': Tiana has banned Anna from cooking after the "[[NoodleIncident kitchen incident]]".
* ''Fanfic/UnfamiliarPatterns'':
** Sweetie Belle manages to set ice on fire.
** Sweetie Belle gets her cooking skills from her dad. He once set cereal on fire.
* In ''Fanfic/HeroAcademiaDXD'', Ibara's first attempt to make breakfast at the Midoriya apartment ends with her burning the eggs and juice (somehow). Momo is, somehow, ''worse''. Ibara will make chocolate with ''vinegar'' creating a sour concoction: Momo's chocolates not only have vinegar, but ice coffee, bell peppers, and fish sausages as ingredients, give off dark auras, and wipe out Izuku's sense of taste for a week after knocking him out.

* In ''Fanfic/TheDarwinChronicles'', ComicBook/JeanGrey's cooking is a health hazard. [[ComicBook/{{Cyclops}} Scott]] keeps eating it because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, but he's gotten food poisoning so many times that Warren jokes that Jean is truly attempting to kill him.
-->'''Warren:''' "Let me get this straight. You knew she cooked it herself. You ate it anyway."\\
'''Scott:''' "It was our anniversary. She went to a lot of trouble, and I wanted to be appreciative. Besides, it was CHICKEN. How hard can it be to make chicken?"\\
'''Warren:''' "You didn't notice the pink? How could you not notice it was the wrong color?" (Scott points to his glasses) "And you didn't think it tasted funny?"\\
'''Scott:''' "Well, kind of. But she doesn't cook that often. I wanted to be supportive."\\
'''Warren:''' "But you KNEW she made it herself. And you ate it ANYWAY. I wouldn't let that get around, Cyclops. It doesn't say much about your decision-making abilities, you know what I'm saying?"
* In ''Fanfic/HeartsOfIce'', Akane Tendo is exiled to the Kami Plane, and she finds out that her reputation as a terrible cook extends beyond the mortal realm: She is thrown out and evicted forever by Kojin, the God of Kitchens as soon as she steps into his domain. Akane became rather miffed after that incident, a feeling furthered by Kojin mumbling "Why couldn't Kasumi get sucked into the Kami Plane?" while he was stomping away.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8335287/1/Engineer-s-Peanut-Allergy Engineer's Peanut Allergy]],'' Engineer's 9-year-old daughter sends him a care package with a letter, a drawing, and two vaguely-cookie-shaped blobs that look like cement. They're almost literally lethal because they turn out to have peanuts in them, which he's allergic to.

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1801126/9/MisMatchmaker MsMatchmaker]]'' Harry spits a mouthful of Dobby's pea soup into a potted plant. [[ThatPoorPlant It instantly wilts]].
* ''Fanfic/UnderneathTheSakuraTree'': Without supervision, Michelangelo tends to be this, having hospitalized several people with his contributions to the bake sale.

* In ''Fanfic/BlueSky'', Wheatley tries to bake bread with Chell. While her loaf turns out fine, his loaf becomes a rock-hard, smoldering monstrosity that manages to devour half of Chell's bread in the oven and is ultimately sliced up and used for target practice.
* ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'' fics have a noted tendency to elevate Misato from her canon CordonBleughChef status to this. Examples:
** ''Fanfic/AdviceAndTrust'': In chapter 8 Asuka accuses Misato almost poisoning their penguin pet:
--->'''Misato:''' But it's Shin-chan's night to cook! [...] That's way better than even my best curry!\\
'''Asuka:''' The last time you fed 'your best curry' to Pen Pen, he spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling and barking.
** ''Fanfic/GhostsOfEvangelion'': Not even Third Impact can improve Misato's cooking skills. Two years after, Asuka still doesn't want to try anything her guardian has cooked.
--->"Oh, and since you just woke up you must be hungry." She got up, heading for the pantry. "Why don't I —"\\
Asuka's eyes widened, and she leapt after Misato. "No, that's okay! I'll make breakfast!"\\
"Aw, but I had this neat idea for an experiment! All I need is some horseradish and some curry and —"\\
"No, really, that's fine! I'm good here. Shinji made some rice balls before he left, so that'll be fine. Better than fine, great even! Shinji makes great stuff, right?" Her voice had a bit of a panicked edge to it.\\
"Oh, you're no fun," Misato pouted, sitting down. "Fine, fine, we'll have Shinji's boring-yet-tasty food. But you'll have to try mine eventually."\\
"Heh heh, sure, sure." Asuka's face turned a shade of green as she headed to the refrigerator to get the rice balls. She rolled her eyes and whispered a silent prayer to whatever deities might still exist that she be spared Misato's cooking for as long as possible.
** ''Fanfic/OnceMoreWithFeeling'': Shinji has very bad memories of Misato's horrid cooking skills. When she tells him that he will be staying with her, Shinji is happy... until he remembers it means he will have to eat whatever she "cooks" again, and he gets terrified.
--->'''Misato:''' I'll cook you a huge welcome home meal!\\
'''Shinji:''' Oh...great. ''[thinking]'' ''Oh God in Heaven, not again, I can't go through that...food...again...''
** ''Fanfic/YouAreNotAtFault'': Asuka would rather starve to death than eat Misato's so-called cook... which her guardian is inexplicably proud of.
--->'''Asuka:''' (thinking) ''"Of course, it was either him or Misato doing the cooking. And I'd rather than starve to death than eat Misato's culinary disasters. That crazy woman could set cereal on fire, and she'd still eat it and consider it a masterpiece!"''
** ''Fanfic/AeonNatumEngel'' and its rewrite ''Fanfic/AeonEntelechyEvangelion'' both give a grim in-universe justification: Due to reasons that differ between the two fics, Misato's almost completely lost her senses of smell and taste, and thus the only way she can enjoy her food is to spice it to levels that would test a champion hot food eater. She just hasn't learned to make separate portions for other people.
** ''Fanfic/RolePlayingEvangelion'': Ritsuko does not want to try a heap of waffles offered by Misato, not even after being said they should be safe because Pen-Pen made them.
* Mido is one in [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13189099/1/The-Legend-Of-Zelda-Ocarina-Of-Time The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time]], and seemingly on purpose. Last time he cooked for Link's anniversary, his food was so spicy that it turned everyone into "[[FireBreathingDiner combat flamethrowers]]". His food is so bad that Link offered to cook during his next anniversary, despite Saria volunteering Mido again.
* ''Fanfic/RosarioVampireBrightestDarkness'':
** In cooking class, Rason Miyamosa often sets his pots on fire. In Act II chapter 4, his attempt at making spaghetti and meatballs results in a giant green blob that actually appears to be ''moving''.
--->'''Kurumu:''' So... can I try it?\\
'''Rason:''' I wouldn't if I were you.
** Yukari's cooking also leaves something to be desired. For example, in Act IV chapter 34, her attempt at cooking stew results in a BlobMonster that can shoot HollywoodAcid.
--->'''Luna:''' Your cooking's going to kill Ahakon if it doesn't kill us first!
* [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/244127/chapters/377214 This]] ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'' fanfic describes Dave as one, to the point where his [[InventoryManagementPuzzle sylladex]] refuses to acknowledge his creation as "spaghetti", or "pasta", or even "food". It takes him and John only a few bites to decide it was right.
* [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Rainbow Dash]] in ''{{Fanfic/Assumptions}}'' isn't on the level of killing ponies yet, but she did manage to [[BeyondTheImpossible burn tea]] and insist Caramel still try it.
* [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Derpy Hooves]] isn't much better in ''Fanfic/WereGonnaGetThereSoon''. PlayedForDrama when she's tasked with bringing snacks for the next Weather Team meeting, and she promises herself she'll prove to them that she's able to complete a task without it ending in disaster. She's on the verge of tears after several attempts result in flaming muffins, muffins that are simultaneously undercooked and overcooked, and turning the kitchen into a disaster area that gave Thunderlane's mother an aneurysm.

* In ''Fanfic/AvengersInfiniteWars'', circumstances lead to Princess Shuri of Wakanda joining the Avengers after her brother and various other heroes vanish, with the result that the team is just Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Shuri and Jennifer Walters for a time. When Shuri is trying to cook in the kitchen of Avengers Tower, it soon becomes clear that she has literally no skill in this area, to the extent that Tony and Clint are genuinely scared of what she might do if left alone in the kitchen.

* ''Fanfic/TheEmiyaClan'':
** Kiritsugu Jr manages not only to make food that you can't eat but also to make food that eats ''you''. Whatever he cooks somehow comes to life as some kind of EldritchAbomination. This includes (but isn't limited to): Sliced cucumbers becoming tentacle beasts, boiled water becoming flaming water spirits, roasted chicken turning into an undead monstrosity that is almost impossible to kill, and fried bacon becoming sentient, escaping into the basement, building an underground civilization based on the worship of his daughter, and vowing vengeance on the surface world.
** His sister Chiyo also cooks notoriously badly, but while her food might taste so bad it almost kills you, it's so healthy you feel like a million bucks afterwards.
* Vili in ''Fanfic/TheTaintedGrimoire'' put poison in the meal she cooked for Luso, Crow, Hurdy, Kanin, and Adelle when she mistakenly thought it was just seasoning.
* In the Fanfiction story ''Percy Jackson Olympus Divided'', Thalia Grace is said to be this, with comments suggesting her oatmeal was bad enough to put Artemis, a goddess, in the hospital. When she ate her own pancakes...she ended up in the hospital.

* In ''Fanfic/MoreThanHuman'', [[Franchise/ThePowerpuffGirls Blossom]] is such a disaster waiting to happen around cooking that Buttercup declares that there is a 15-foot perimeter around the grill that is a "No Blossom" zone. One ruined batch of hamburgers later, Blossom reluctantly complies with her sister's mandate.
* Rainbow Dash is revealed to be one in ''Fanfic/{{Magnetism}}'', managing, like Sweetie Belle in the ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' example, to liquify burnt toast. Fluttershy almost eats it to make her friend feel better, but Angel tosses it out the nearest window.

* In ''Fanfic/TheNonBronyverse'', TD is a terrible chef, whose skills are on a par with Sweetie Belle's, as Rarity is unfortunate enough to experience first hand.

* In ''Fanfic/TheInfiniteLoops'', there's a RunningGag that [[TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 Leman Russ]] is not simply incapable of cooking. He's so bad at it that even when following instructions to the letter, he can cause anything from fires to ''giant, rampaging food {{Kaiju}}''. At one point he managed to open a portal to the Warp by making toast. This running gag eventually grows to the point where, upon actually making a perfectly normal dinner of spaghetti and wheatballs for his girlfriend, the Loopers' response is to ''evacuate the solar system.''

* In ''Fanfic/MyHuntsmanAcademia'' side story "Mystery Meat", Pyrrha, Weiss, and Nora try to make a chicken curry dinner for their team leader as thanks for cooking for them all semester. Unfortunately, none of them have set foot in a kitchen to cook before. The result is green, looks like it's covered in mold, and may or may not be moving. The four agree to [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain never speak of it again]], but the image of their dish would haunt their nightmares for the rest of their lives.

* In canon, Fuuka of ''VideoGame/Persona3'' and Yukiko and Chie of ''VideoGame/Persona4'' are terrible cooks, but for different reasons. One comic from [[https://dailymegaten.tumblr.com/ Daily Megaten]] (the comic is part of a collection sold on the site) demonstrates: when [[SupremeChef Shinjiro]] gives them a recipe for an extremely simple cake (which amounts to dumping every ingredient in a bowl and stirring), Fuuka apologizes for a lumpy and burnt cake (probably from undermixing the batter), while Yukiko and Chie proudly present a disgusting cake full of bizarre ingredients like bacon bits and a whole unpeeled banana.

* In a ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' fanfic ''Fanfic/TheDeathOfPrincessLuna'', apparently none of the bad guys can cook anything else than some sloshy substance that doesn't even remotely resemble food. That, or they just ''really'' didn't care if Luna lived or not, even though her death of starvation would've ruined their entire plan.
* In Chapter 15 of ''Fanfic/BlazBlueAlternativeRemnant'', Noel is shown to be this much like she is in the games. It's so bad that her food comes across more like an outright {{eldritch abomination}}, moving almost out of touch with reality and having a color that Jaune isn't sure even exists. Then when Jaune tries to eat it, he ends up hospitalized and gains ''several second-degree burns''. Makoto even mentions that Noel once cooked a soup so rancid that when she force fed it to a Beowolf, it melted the Grimm into a puddle.

* When the Madrigals try Berk's "tough and tasteless" cuisine in ''Fanfic/TheDragonAndTheButterfly'', they immediately break into hysterics about how inedible it is. Even Hiccup complains, having spent a year subsisting on [[SupremeChef Julieta's]] cooking.
--> '''Isabela''': Does this even qualify as food?\\
'''Mirabel''': It's a crime. It's a crime in the form of a chicken leg.\\
'''Luisa''': I miss ''m-mooom...''\\
'''Camilo''': How do you live like this? ''DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOW WHAT SALT IS!?''\\
'''Hiccup''': Toothless please... Toothless you gotta take me back! I can't do this, not again! Toothless ''please!''
* ''Fanfic/ThePokemonSquad'':
** [[WesternAnimation/KaBlam June]] is such a terrible cook that in "A Week With the Yaois", she ''burns the mansion down trying to make ice cream''.
** WesternAnimation/DoraTheExplorer is also an awful (and [[OneNoteCook very one-note]]) cook who can only make soggy burritos. Out of the mansion, [[ExtremeOmnivore Ash]] is the only one who can stomach it. The Yaois have gotten used to it over time, but now they're bored of it.
** RM's cooking has a nasty habit of giving whoever eats it food poisoning, as shown in "The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Life of Timothy Green" (where [[Film/TheOddLifeOfTimothyGreen Timothy]] suffers diarrhea whenever [[ParentalNeglect RM actually bothers to cook him anything]]) and "A Little Bit of Monika" (where [[VisualNovel/DokiDokiLiteratureClub Monika]] vomits after eating his cooking).

* [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Derpy Hooves]] isn't much better in ''FanFic/WereGonnaGetThereSoon''. PlayedForDrama when she's tasked with bringing snacks for the next Weather Team meeting, and she promises herself she'll prove to them that she's able to complete a task without it ending in disaster. She's on the verge of tears after several attempts result in flaming muffins, muffins that are simultaneously undercooked and overcooked, and turning the kitchen into a disaster area that gave Thunderlane's mother an aneurysm.

* Vili in ''FanFic/TheTaintedGrimoire'' put poison in the meal she cooked for Luso, Crow, Hurdy, Kanin, and Adelle when she mistakenly thought it was just seasoning.

* In ''Fanfic/MoreThanHuman'', [[WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls Blossom]] is such a disaster waiting to happen around cooking that Buttercup declares that there is a 15-foot perimeter around the grill that is a "No Blossom" zone. One ruined batch of hamburgers later, Blossom reluctantly complies with her sister's mandate.
* Rainbow Dash is revealed to be one in ''FanFic/{{Magnetism}}'', managing, like Sweetie Belle in the ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' example, to liquify burnt toast. Fluttershy almost eats it to make her friend feel better, but Angel tosses it out the nearest window.

* In ''FanFic/TheNonBronyverse'', TD is a terrible chef, whose skills are on a par with Sweetie Belle's, as Rarity is unfortunate enough to experience first hand.
* ''FanFic/LegendaryGenesis'' has Chef Muk, who's supposedly an exceptional cook in spite of her unsanitary habits. According to Dion, everybody at Arcanine's Academy has developed an immunity to her cooking.
* [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Suki]] in ''FanFic/TheStalkingZukoSeries'' has food that tastes like congealed sadness and burned a roast to an inedible crisp. Sokka ate it anyways because he loves her. Justified in that she never had to cook before as the other Kyoshi Warriors did. She gets better in ''Not Stalking Firelord Zuko'' when she makes a dish that's tasteless but edible. [[CharacterDevelopment She's learning.]]

* "Water + Veggies + Meats + Soy sauce + [[VideoGame/{{Touhou}} Yukari]] = [[EpicFail nuclear bombs]]" [[http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/667972?tags=yakumo_yukari+explosion]].

* In ''Fanfic/TheInfiniteLoops'', there's a RunningGag that [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer40000}} Leman Russ]] is not simply incapable of cooking. He's so bad at it that even when following instructions to the letter, he can cause anything from fires to ''giant, rampaging food {{Kaiju}}''. At one point he managed to open a portal to the Warp by making toast. This running gag eventually grows to the point where, upon actually making a perfectly normal dinner of spaghetti and wheatballs for his girlfriend, the Loopers' response is to ''evacuate the solar system.''

* In a WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic fanfic ''Fanfic/TheDeathOfPrincessLuna'', apparently none of the bad guys can cook anything else than some sloshy substance that doesn't even remotely resemble food. That, or they just ''really'' didn't care if Luna lived or not, even though her death of starvation would've ruined their entire plan.

* In ''Fanfic/AvengersInfiniteWars'', circumstances lead to Princess Shuri of Wakanda joining the Avengers after her brother and various other heroes vanish, with the result that the team is initially just Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Shuri and Jennifer Walters. When Shuri is trying to cook, it soon becomes clear that she has literally no skill in this area, to the extent that Tony and Clint are genuinely scared of what she might do if left alone in the kitchen.

* [[Anime/KanColle Hiei's]] fail-tastic cooking is well-established. ''Fanfic/BlizzardOfTheRedCastle'' adds nuance in that apparently she can at least brew ASpotOfTea. ''Kirishima'', however, apparently has the opposite issue: She can cook... But her tea is bad enough that Kongo can only stomach it [[INeedAFreakingDrink spiked with rum]]!

** ''FanFic/AeonNatumEngel'' and its rewrite ''FanFic/AeonEntelechyEvangelion'' both give a grim in-universe justification: Due to reasons that differ between the two fics, Misato's almost completely lost her senses of smell and taste, and thus the only way she can enjoy her food is to spice it to levels that would test a champion hot food eater. She just hasn't learned to make separate portions for other people.

* ''FanFic/RosarioVampireBrightestDarkness'':

* In Chapter 15 of ''BlazBlueAlternativeRemnant'', Noel is shown to be this much like she is in the games. It's so bad that her food comes across more like an outright {{eldritch abomination}}, moving almost out of touch with reality and having a color that Jaune isn't sure even exists. Then when Jaune tries to eat it, he ends up hospitalized and gains ''several second-degree burns''. Makoto even mentions that Noel once cooked a soup so rancid that when she force fed it to a Beowolf, it melted the Grimm into a puddle.