Tropers / Completely Normal Guy

Hello and welcome to the most ordinary page in all of TV Tropes. There's absolutely nothing strange to see here. Bask in the ordinary or move on.

Okay, enough of that. I can only take the gag so far. In case it wasn't painfully obvious, both the name and the previous paragraph are Blatant Lies. It's the kind of thing I found amusing 10 years ago, and I guess I still find it a bit amusing today. However, that is the limits of my deception; everything else I say on this site will be the truth, at least to the best of my knowledge. That doesn't mean you should completely trust me though. Sometimes I'm just mistaken, and even when I'm not, I enjoy abusing exact words.

But who am I really? Well it's been said, "It's not who you are on the inside. It's what you do that matters," so I'll start with that. When I'm not writing a novel, trying to cure cancer, composing for piano, developing a new tabletop RPG system, or playing too many video games, I'm probably wasting my time on TV Tropes (You see what I mean about Exact Words? All of those things are technically true, but very few of them are actually all that impressive if you know all the details). I hail from a city in the Pacific Northwest full of tech companies, introverted people, and far too many coffee shops.

Beyond that, I suppose I'm just another person with a weird sense of humor (I'm sure you've figured that much out by now), who may or may not be all there (the smart money's on 'may not'). If you're just concerned about how to deal with me, don't worry about it. It takes a lot to get on my bad side. Unless you possess the level of stupidity that's normally only found in reality show contestants, or so little moral fiber that even lawyers are embarrassed to be seen with you, I'm sure we'll get along just fine.

I'm generally compulsively helpful, and perpetually bored, so if there's anything you think I might be able to help with, feel free to shoot me a PM. I'm usually around.

Tropes that describe me

• Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: It makes me rather absent-minded among other things. If I'm not responding to you about something, I'm probably not ignoring you. I probably just got distracted halfway through coming up with a decent reply, and then promptly forgot what I was doing. It has been known to happen.
• Blatant Lies: Well for starters, the name. Outside of this site, I sometimes try to get people to believe something completely absurd, simply as an exercise, but I don't do that here because there's no challenge of keeping a straight face throughout over the internet.
• Deadpan Snarker: I get snarky sometimes. I usually make sure that it's only towards people that I know well. I don't want to hurt anyone.
• The Klutz: I have this problem with stairs. Okay, maybe I trip on things a lot as well. Luckily this has never resulted in an injury more severe than a sprained ankle, nor property damage more severe than an indentation in the wall shaped like my head.
• Massive Numbered Siblings: I have five siblings, all younger. I'd say it explains a lot, but I'm not sure if it actually does. One thing that I will say is that the parents who have large families like that are, to use a technical term, absolutely bonkers. And, yes, I will say that to my parents' faces. They agree with me.
• Neutral Good: I try for this. You can decide for yourself whether or not I succeed.
• Pungeon Master: I'll put this at number five on the list of character traits that will probably get me killed.
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: This is something else I do a lot. Sometimes it's fun to randomly deny being a time traveler in everyday conversation.
• Trickster Archetype: I have some tendencies in this direction, and I like to mess with you. While I'm never malevolent, take everything I say with a grain of salt.
• Will Not Tell a Lie: Played with. I will not tell a lie here on TV Tropes (with the exception of the lie that I'm a "completely normal guy," and the lie that I'm "definitely not a weirdo"). In real life I don't like to tell believable lies. It lacks challenge. Besides, "An elephant escaped from the zoo, and is wandering through the streets," is far more fun than, "No, I didn't eat the last cookie." However, there are a few situations where I allow myself to tell believable lies. Those are games (No, I can't beat you next turn. My position isn't nearly as good as it looks.), gifts and other surprises (I wasn't buying you a Christmas present), and situations where the truth will put someone in danger (I haven't seen Fred for months, now can you please put those guns away?). Fortunately the last one doesn't come up very often. However, even though I'm not lying, you should still take my words with a grain of salt. I tend to abuse Exact Words.

Gushing About Things I Like

Anime

• Baccano: Many authors have gone their entire life without writing a single well rounded and interesting character. That makes it that much more impressive when someone writes so many in a single series.
• Durarara: It's even more impressive that he managed to do it again.
• Mononoke: Episodes vary from unsettling to terrifying. The art style is beautifully strange.

Comics

• Calvin and Hobbes: Sure, it had it's flaws, such as Watterson's tendency to rant about how New Media Are Evil, but it's good points more than make up for it.
• Tintin
• Watchmen: It's the definitive graphic novel. Not just because of its quality, which is high, but because it does things with the medium that can't be done anywhere else.
• The Sandman: Neil Gaiman at his Neil Gaimanest.

Film

• Star Wars: Like everyone, I grew up with these films. While some of it is surely nostalgia, they still seem to hold up today.
• Indiana Jones: Beautifully pulpy. I prefer Raiders and the Last Crusade, but the other two are fine.
• Inception: It combines delicious Mind Screw with the classic heist film. What's not to like?
• Blade Runner: Yes, I know there's a lot of Harrison Ford on this list. A lovely exploration of what it means to be human.
• Paprika: Another lovely Mind Screw. It's an interesting variation on a classic science fiction formula hiding behind stunning visuals
• The Sting: I have a soft spot for any con men and tricksters of the heroic variety. Watching the plan come together is immensely satisfying
• Toy Story: Let's forget for a second about its place in the history of film, and the animation techniques it pioneered. It's still a great story. I love the whole series.
• The Shawshank Redemption: I am not ashamed to admit that this film made me cry. It's beautiful. I can't say anything else.
• Schindler's List: This one made me cry too.
• Princess Mononoke: I've seen a number of Miyazaki's films, but this one is by far my favorite. A lot of effort was put into making all sides sympathetic, and it worked. It left me feeling blown away.
• Pulp Fiction: "English, motherfucker. Do you speak it?"
• Enter the Dragon: Bruce Lee is awesome.
• The Blues Brothers: I think this is the funniest movie I've ever seen.
• Many many more.

Literature

• Lord of the Rings: It's an all time classic. I've read all three books more times than I can remember.
• Anything Discworld: These books are a great look at both modern society and storytelling conventions. More importantly though, they're funny as hell.
• Good Omens: This is the funniest book I've ever read.
• The Screwtape Letters: This is a very close second.
• Anything written by Neil Gaiman. That guy is brilliant.

Live-Action TV

• The Rockford Files: My dad's favorite show. I watched it with him when I was young, and, unlike many things I watched with family, I actually enjoyed this one. It obviously feels a bit dated in parts, but, as I said, I have a soft spot for heroic con men.
• The Haunting of Hill House: In my opinion, this is the best Netflix original.

Music

• Led Zeppelin: The one, the only HAMMER OF THE GODS!
• Queen: Bombastic, over the top, and that much better for it.
• Pink Floyd: So you think you can tell, heaven from hell, blue skies from pain.
• Nightwish: One of the first bands to show me that good music still exists this century. It took me a depressingly long time to figure that out.
• The Who: YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
• Kamelot: Despite being American, they play a nice symphonic variant of European style power metal. Add a dash of world music for taste.
• Blood Ceremony: Weird band, but I've been enjoying their music a lot lately. Think Black Sabbath meets Jethro Tull, but with a woman on vocals.
• Social Distortion: If Johnny Cash was a punk rocker, the music world would have no need for Mike Ness. He wasn't, so we do.
• The Hu: Awesome Mongolian metal band. The name can be a little awkward at times (no, not the one with Pete Townsend
• Octavia Sperati: They've got kind of a weird doom metal sound that's sometimes hauntingly beautiful, and sometimes eerily claustrophobic. If that makes sense, you might be on something.
• Krypteria: They once wrote the hammiest song in the world. Or at least it's the hammiest song I've ever heard (and I listen to Queen, and a good deal of power metal).
• Baroness: Combine an odd vocal style, a generally "chill" mood, and a heavy layered sound, and you get this strange metal band. Think Mastadon meets Pink Floyd.
• Quite a few more. This is just a good stopping point.

Video Games

• Morrowind: It had its flaws, sure. It was buggy as hell, and the character models looked kind of ugly. Still though, Bethesda created a beautiful world with this game.
• Skyrim: A proper successor to Morrowind.
• Chrono Trigger It overcomes many of the flaws of the Final Fantasy series while managing to feel like a pulp adventure. What's not to like?
• Portal This is one of those games that plays with video game conventions in a fun and interesting way.
• Iji: So is this.
• Super Mario Galaxy: And the sequel
• The Saints Row series: The biggest flaw of Grand Theft Auto is that it takes itself too seriously. Saint's Row corrects this error.
• Jade Empire: Everybody was kung fu fighting. Oh yeah, the story is pretty good too.
• ''Psychonauts: A colorful cast of characters, an interesting, if silly story, beautiful visuals, and fun gameplay. The second one is awesome too
• A Story About My Uncle: This game creates some wonderfully bizarre landscapes, and lets you traverse them in a fun 3D platformer.

Webcomics

• El Goonish Shive: The early stuff is crap, but it's certainly nice to watch how Dan grows as an author. The current art is beautiful, and the plot is coming together a lot better. In particular though, I love the use of body language.
• Gunnerkrigg Court: The blend of mystery, adventure, and mythology is impossible to resist. The top-notch writing helps.
• Order Of The Stick: This was the very first webcomic I ever read, and, although my tastes have changed since then, it still holds up fairly well.
• Paranatural: Some of the most beautiful art you'll ever see. It's a strange tale of wonder set in a World of Ham.
• Wilde Life: There's a lot to say about this one. The art is beautiful. The characters are interesting. The story is complex while still giving a clear impression that the author knows where she's going with all this.
• Quite a few others. I just need to stop somewhere so I don't crash the servers.

If there's anything else you think I'd like, shoot me a PM. I just might check it out.

My Contributions to the Wiki

Tropes Launched

• Grilling Pyrotechnics
• Unstoppable Mailman

Indexes that I came up with in YKTTW, then promptly forgot about, and someone else later launched

• This Index Is Unstoppable
• Cut to the Index

Tropes to which I have supplied a description and some other key effort

• Lethal Chef: Everything about this page was incredibly bloated. The description went on and on. There was a mess of natter and poor example indentation. I spent several hours cleaning things up, and re-wrote the description. Now it's much cleaner.
• Catch the Conscience: The description on this one was terrible. I had to read through it four or five times to figure out what the trope was about. I think it makes a bit more sense now.

Pages that I merely curate (I also curate all the above)

• And You Thought It Was a Game
• This Is No Time for Knitting
• Inventional Wisdom
• Improbable Food Budget

Pages where I made the page image

• Bathroom Breakout: I was fed up with the lack of good suggestions in an image picking thread, so I threw a bedsheet out the bathroom window and took a picture. It's entirely possible that I was a bit drunk at the time.

Old signatures

I used to do a Noodle Incident signature thingy. Unfortunately, I'm not the most interesting person in the world (I can't speak French, let alone in Russian), so my pool of stories ran out rather quickly. All of them are based on real events. If one of them particularly piques your curiosity, just ask, and I'll probably give more explanation.

• I woke up three weeks later in the middle of a desert, chained to a monkey.
  • I'll explain this one from the get-go because it's the only one that can truly cause misunderstanding. This did not happen to me, but is taken from the legendary boat story, which describes events that happened to a friend. The speaker of this line is a messed-up drug dealer trying to sell the titular substance defined as: "You take all your kitchen cleaners, put 'em in a bathtub, and leave it there for three weeks. Then you got your boat."
• We could always just sell Annie's third kidney.
• You mean you didn't notice the handcuffed shirtless guy?
• Something about a katana bought from a shady-looking Egyptian guy at Pike Place market for $15. Exact wording has been forgotten.
• And then there was the incident with the Russian satellite and the broken computer scanner.
• I'm not very good at lighting barbecues. On a completely unrelated note, I'm very good at dodging fireballs.
• If I carried my knife more, the incident with the soda and my high school principal never would have happened.
  • The incident in question was really more of a near miss than anything else, and could have been a lot worse. Suffice to say that folding chairs make horrible bottle openers.
• How does one accidentally smuggle a six inch long assassin's dagger on their carry-on bag too and from San Francisco?
• It ended with a guy twice my size on his back, in the mud still clutching the other half of my shirt.
• A combination of over-competitiveness, asthma, and high elevation left me barely conscious and hooked up to an oxygen mask.
• So naturally we decided that the best way to get back to the cabin was a massive conga line.
• Anyway, that was the second time I accidentally convinced some kid I was a jedi.
• Not only did he dye the history teacher's hair green in the middle of class, but he got away with it.
• Many things were said in that class, but the one that really sticks out is "Leo stole my pants."
• One of them came from a weird family and now attends a military academy, while the other dropped out of bible college to start a cult.
• She then proceeded to tell a long story about her roommate, the CIA and the mafia.
• He finally convinced his mom that he was straight, only to come home the next day wearing no shirt and another man's pants.
  • Explanation because Sean Murray I actually guessed correctly: the guy in question was rather Camp Straight, and just happened to get in a water fight on an unfortunate day.
• I probably should have had my Shakespeare license revoked after that incident with Much Ado About Nothing and The Three Stooges.
  • School project back in high school. I will say no more.
• He ran out into the middle of a busy intersection, then hit a tennis ball with a golf club before scrambling back to the sidewalk.
  • I used to live right next to Greek Row, so I saw weird things from time to time. This was something that I witnessed as I left to go grocery shopping. Oddly enough, the guy who did this was completely sober.
• I never thought that the ability to painlessly disarm a person would be a useful babysitting skill, but it came up once.
  • I might as well explain this one because what really happened is actually worse than what people are guessing. The kid got his hands on a knife. Specifically, a rather large combat knife. Why his parents were dumb enough to leave that thing where he could get it, I don't know.
• "That's not too bad. I once fell down the stairs and shut off power to half the building."
  • A friend of mine was rather embarrassed about her clumsiness. I simply told her that I am worse.
• We never did tell him that those weren't mountain goats.
• Nothing quite like waking up to the sound of, "The campsite is on fire!"
• We nearly fell down one cliff, and broke another.
  • Final exam back in high school. I still got an A.
• It was over before I realized I was in a fight. I won.
  • Don't ask. I don't really know what happened either.