YMMV / Das Sporking

• Accidental Innuendo: If one of these shows up in a sporking subject, expect it to be lampshaded and/or mocked.
• Alternative Character Interpretation:
  • In Intertwined, Midoriri suggests that the Mary Sue, Kitten, is actually a sociopath who uses crocodile tears to get whatever she wants, and employs the Wounded Gazelle Gambit on a regular basis. It would explain, she says, why she can turn her tears on and off at will, and why she didn't start crying while being bullied until after she was threatened with punishment for hitting the bully.
  • In Precure Meet The Dream Traveler:
    • Midoriri and Riyna-chan have suggested that Blaze Akechi from Suite Pretty Cure ♪ Meet the Dream Traveler is either just a scrawny cosplayer with no power at all, or someone who was kicked out of his own world for being annoying but never realized it, instead of the badass the Stuthor claims he is.
    • Due to some very dark implications in the text and characterization, it's been theorized that Siren is not actually the "loving little sister" that the Stuthor writes her as, but is actually a victim of abuse at the hands of her Big Brother Bully, and is only acting the part of a sweet little sister so he won't hurt her or her friends. By extension, Blaze has also been speculated to be a domestic abuser.
    • Shadow "Blaze" Akechi from the third fic is already speculated, both by the sporkers and comments, to be a domestic abuser, stalker, and, once again due to some very dark implications, a child predator who is grooming Mana to be his girlfriend.
  • The comments for I'm Here To Help suggest that Emerald is not the Anti-Hero the Stuthor claims he is, but actually an insane conspiracy theorist with a hatred for any authority of any kind.
  • Man Called True has speculated that, in Frigid Winds and Burning Hearts, Luna (or "Moana" as he dubs her) is a sociopathic tyrant who just wants to depose Celestia, Twilight Sparkle/"Twilight Puppet" is her brainwashed maid, and Pinkie Pie is actually one of the clones from the Mirror Pool. He's also theorized that Captain Braveheart is a pony version of the Comedian from Watchmen.
  • Azralibrarian seems to believe that Juren, the "hero" in Of the Discovery of Magic, is not a knowledgeable, altruistic, wise youth seeking to help his village, but a lazy and selfish sociopath who is only trying to "discover" magic for personal gain and glory.
  • Fifty Shades of Grey:
    • Many members of the comm believe that Ana is a closet bisexual with feelings for Kate.
    • Gehayi also believes that Grey arranged for Leila to be wrongly committed to a mental hospital as punishment for her leaving him, citing his pride and controlling nature as evidence for this. Moreover, Leila was involuntarily committed for over a year, despite the fact that involuntary commitment of adults usually involves courts in the U.S., as well as proof that the person is not capable of caring for themselves and is an actual danger to themselves and/or others. The commitment is supposed to be reviewed by the court after a month or two as well. And as Gehayi points out, Leila's breakdown and involuntary commitment happened, according to what was overtly stated in the text, exactly when Grey found out that Leila's had married another man... two weeks after her wedding.
    • Thanks to a wonky timeline in Chapters 9 and 10 of Freed that makes it impossible for Christian Grey to have flown back from New York within the time allotted to him and Grey's outright fury toward Ana because she was NOT in the penthouse apartment when her armed attempted rapist got in, both Gehayi and much of the comm have decided that Grey is the one who arranged for the ineffectual villain to attack Ana. Even those who feel that Grey would prefer a (literally) more hands-on approach agree that someone whose loved one narrowly escaped from danger should be showing relief, not unholy rage and overt threats to "beat the shit out of" their significant other.
    • Since Ana has a great deal of trouble keeping track of time and remembering events from one chapter, paragraph, or sentence to the next, to the point where Ana's difficulties are even mentioned in the text, the theory has been raised that Ana has executive functioning issues—a learning disability.
  • In her sporking of "The Fox Princess", Midoriri speculated that Herve was actually doing what he could to help the hostages escape.
  • "To Rule them All":
    • Azra is interpreted as an arrogant, cowardly, incompetent fool with inconsistent morality.
    • Baghrat from was interpreted as The Starscream or a Bastard Understudy to Azra, mainly because of how inquisitive he was regarding the One Ring.
  • "Identities":
    • Based on some lines from the narration and her inner monologue, Master Ghandalf suggests the possibility that Morwen/Rana didn't really turn good, just change sides. He also suggests that she doesn't truly turn against Sauron until after she gets caught in an explosion at the Battle of the Hornburg.
    • The fic's version of Denethor is speculated to actually be the character's understudy Denny Thor, who's working off a script he doesn't know has changed. This is mostly due to him acting pretty much the same as he did in the movie, even though the event that played a major role in causing his madness (Boromir's death) never happened in this fic.
  • the_whittler speculated in her sporking of "Jar of Hearts" that the Sue OC, Evianlyn, might be Autistic - socially inept, her father never let her go outside, easily riled up and doesn't like change, reiterates details most people would ignore and seemingly obsessed with how old everyone is.
  • The eponymous hero-god of Hero's Welcome is considered by Azrathelibrarian to be a selfish, willfully ignorant hypocrite who blindly idolizes Guthix while dismissing all other deities as irredeemably evil and their followers as slaves—highlights include how he doesn't seem at all bothered by being forced to leave his people, how he outright claims to be right all the time and know what's best for others, and his complaining about being embarrassed that his power is waning rather than fearing for what's happening to him. The fact that his alleged heroic feats are boiled down to stories told offscreen except for a single reference joke does not help matters.
  • In Partially Kissed Hero Harry isn't Harry with access to Voldemort's memories, but rather Voldemort in Harry's body with a thin veneer of Harry's memories.
  • According to Esme-Amelia, Sally Dunn is the setting's equivalent of an Abusive Parent.
  • In The Crown Of Thorns sporking, Raonar is interpreted as a manipulative, arrogant, power-hungry, terrible sibling, and Trian and Bhelen's hatred of him is perfectly understandable.
  • In Back to the Frollo, Greenery Gripes is fairly convinced that Danisha's friend Fern hates her and brought her to Medieval Paris with the intention of stranding her there so that she can get into trouble and be executed somehow. Given the fact that Danisha's a huge Jerkass, Greenery ends up sympathizing with Fern in this interpretation.
  • The titular Stu of Nobunaga-sensei is supposed to be a Lovable Sex Maniac and Chivalrous Pervert who cares about his harem targets. The comm instead sees him as just plain creepy with his pedophilia and less than favorable attitude about women and girls, extremely irresponsible for prioritizing fulfilling his perverted needs over the fact history is implied to have been messed up for him, as well as extremely annoying with the constant Character Shilling of him as a real leader and descendant of Oda Nobunaga despite lacking all the qualities of the actual Nobunaga and all-around not deserving of being called a real leader.
• Anvilicious: The Mists of Avalon spork is extremely heavy-handed for constantly mentioning that rape and despotism are wrong. The rape apologia and horrific misogyny of the novel in question are extremely obvious, although no other reviewer mentioned this before. The sporkers pretty much consider the spork to be an exposé.
• Crack Pairing:
  • Mervin ships Dean/Castiel and Snape/Sands. The first is possible, but, obviously, Snape and Sands are not even ''part of the same fandom''.
    • Then, at the end of one Breaking Dawn chapter where all Twilight sporkers assembled, there's a hint of one-sided Sands/Dean.
    • Mervin also ships Leah/Castiel, though a comment made in one sporking implies that the sporker Leah and the Leah that shows up in Mervin's fanfictions aren't the same version of the character.
  • The Sailor Moon sporking Over The Rainbow went wild with this idea because it could be worked in so well and the fic set itself up so many times for the jokes. Predictably, this led to Femme Slash jokes being made at every opportunity.
  • Ket Makura and Gehayi make a good case for Christian Grey/Taylor what with their Catsuit Tuesdays.
    • Some of the readers of the Fifty Shades of Grey sporkings have developed a fondness for Taylor/Leila, usually as a devious Battle Couple that's trying to bring Christian Grey down...one way or the other.
  • Nix seems to ship Joshua and Rhyme, who never meet in their canon universe. She also has admitted to shipping Beat and Joshua.
  • Shirayuki admits to shipping Mikazuki and Juzumaru, calling them "the epitome of elegance" and linking to a fanart of them in the Daimyo's Grandchild spork. These characters have exactly one special interaction in their canon.
  • Pan ships Finn with Leah for having similar backgrounds in-universe and out. They are not from the same fandom, though.
• Crosses the Line Twice: During the Breaking Dawn sporking, Mervin responds to the Cullens readily accepting help from the Romanian vampires (whom the Illustrated Guide establishes to be horrific monsters) by comparing it to a charity dedicated to helping boxes of kittens accepting a large donation from Josef Stalin, which used money he had appropriated from political prisoners he'd executed to cement his blood-soaked regime.
• Ensemble Dark Horse:
  • Mervin and Hyde's father. Mervin talked about him as an example of someone acting far older than they were to show that Bella does not fit this description. A number of people on the comms consider him awesome.
  • Despite the general dislike of the Twilight series, Leah Clearwater is a popular character amongst sporkers and lurkers, even getting a "Let's Shit On Leah" counter for whenever she gets mistreated and appearing as a guest sporker herself. She shall not be shat upon!
  • From Fifty Shades of Grey, both Taylor and Leila have become very popular. Many believe that Taylor is being blackmailed into working for Grey and is secretly trying to get him arrested. Leila, meanwhile, is seen as The Woobie for being incredibly broken, mentally unstable, abandoned by her husband and family, all the while being treated with contempt and envy by Ana.
    • Likewise, bodyguard Jason Taylor's young daughter Sophie—she's seven for most of the series, ten in the series' epilogue—has become popular, to the point where the comm is worried about Sophie's continued safety in Shadesverse.
    • As of Chapter 9 of "Freed", Ana's bodyguard Samantha Prescott has also become popular with the comm, with many members wanting to stick up for her after Ana treats her with disdain for being a black woman working as a bodyguard.
  • Lewis from The Fox Princess, mostly due to being the hostage who shows the most initiative and intelligence.
  • Baghrat from To Rule Them All, partly because he was one of the few orcs in the story to show signs of a personality beyond "generic evil minion," and partly because he seemed to be fishing for information about the One Ring. He was interpreted as a Bastard Understudy to Azra who sought to claim the Ring for himself.
  • Prince Maxon from The Selection for being a genuinely nice and kind person, something that tends to be very rare in works being sporked- especially for a love interest.
  • Ichika Oda/Oichi-no-Kata from Nobunaga-sensei for being the Only Sane Man among the cast, which otherwise consists of her pedophilic Stu brother and his harem of flat, sex-obsessed pubescent girls (and one boy).
• Ethnic Scrappy: Lydia from The Sailor Rainbow Series is viewed by the comm's members as an obnoxious Irish stereotype reminiscent of Hibernophobic propaganda from less enlightened eras.
• Fan-Preferred Couple:
  • Ana/Kate (aka "Katana") for the Fifty Shades sporkings. Supporters will point out that many of Ana's descriptions of Kate sound romantic in nature and that Kate seems to care about Ana's well-being a lot more than Christian is shown to.
  • Bethany/Molly from Halo became this soon after the work's sporking began.
• Harsher in Hindsight: In her sporking of Back to the Frollo, Midoriri/Greenerygripes is horrified at the thought of Danisha hitting a baseball through one of Notre Dame's windows. One can only imagine how she feels about the 2019 fire that ravaged the cathedral...
• Heartwarming Moment: During Midoriri's spork of A Beastly Beauty, the Sue of the fic tries to claim that a painfully OOC, hyperviolent Gaston (who has raped the Sue at least once in the fic already) is "cherishing" her, resulting in this quote:
  .......No.
  No, this is not cherishing.
  Cherishing is valuing your partner as a person, their opinions, feelings, their self. Cherishing your partner is enjoying the time you spend together – even if it's not always happy, even if you have arguments once in a while or bad days, you wouldn't trade any of them away for the world. Cherishing your partner is them being your best friend and confidante, being happy when they're with you and vice-versa. Cherishing is actually loving, valuing, and treating your partner as a friend.
  Cherishing is when we stay up to talk to each other and calm each other down during bad times. Cherishing is when I start freaking out and Ri tells me “Carino, breathe. It's okay.” Cherishing is when we both spent God knows how long looking for the perfect Christmas gift because damn it, it had to be perfect for her. Cherishing is saying “I don't know where I'd be without you, I'm so glad I met you.” Cherishing is apologizing after an argument because I can't stay mad and I hate for her to be mad at me. Cherishing is learning each other's favorite foods and how to make them, just to make each other smile. Cherishing is simply saying “I love you” at the end of the day because we can't, won't, let each other end the day without hearing it.
  THAT. IS CHERISHING.
• Hilarious in Hindsight: Shirayuki and Rain Midori once took on a TouRabu Sue named after Hosokawa Gracia. Two years later, the game runs an event where an alternate universe, malicious Gracia is the final boss.
• Ho Yay:
  • In The Beast Within, it's noted that there's a good deal of this going on between the Prince and Gaston. The two constantly refer to each other as being "the best of friends", the Prince is upset at the idea of doing anything without Gaston with him, the Prince's fiancee is upset at one point because the Prince is ignoring her in favor of Gaston, and it later is shown that Gaston is staying in the palace while the Prince is trying to otherwise trying to have a private, romantic weekend with his fiancee. Several people have commented that the Prince/Gaston seems to be the real pairing of the book.
  • Mervin is completely convinced that both Carlisle and Edward Cullen are gay and started out in a homosexual relationship when Edward was first turned to be Carlisle's "companion". The general lack of affection Carlisle shows Esme lead her to conclude that Esme is kept around as The Beard.
  • In ZeldaQueen's sporking of "The Fate of House Tula", she points out that Gury and Ganondorf seem... unusually close, especially considering Ganondorf doesn't really need Gury's help for his plan. She further says that Ganondorf seems like he's about to give Gury a Love Confession at one point, and that he takes it far too personally when Gury refuses his We Can Rule Together offer, almost like a jilted lover.
  • Scipiosmith claims that a lot of the interactions between Lightning Dawn and Harkin come off as being flirtatious or otherwise filled with sexual tension.
  • Female version:
    • There are a number of Mervin/Leah vibes within the Twilight sporkings, although it's mostly one-sided. Mervin's interpretation of Leah is someone who's only interested in Castiel.
    • Here's what Mervin says during Chapter 6 of New Moon:
      Oh yeah. It’s Leah Clearwater. You guys know exactly why that pleases me. I don’t even care about the ridiculous purple prose used to describe her. The filmmakers knew exactly how to cast that hot piece of ass. *shows photo of Julia Jones, Leah's actor in the films* Damn straight. That woman is hot, and she is sexy. You don’t get much of that with the stupid sterile Cullens. Leah Clearwater in any form rules.
    • There's also the fact that she looks at photos of Julia to keep calm while sporking Chapter 17, and will often talk about how sexy she is.
    • And in her 15 reasons to see Eclipse (and one reason not to), reason #15 is "Leah Clearwater, bitches", which she states is the most compelling reason to see the films out of all of them. Likewise, #14 of the 15 reasons to skip Breaking Dawn, Part II was Leah's pointless and senseless death. Mervin was outraged at how Leah gave herself for Esme of all people in that disasterpiece.
    • Bethany/Molly. One of the biggest sources of fuel for the pairing involves Molly getting up from a hot tub in front of Bethany, completely naked, while Bethany describes Molly's well-toned body.
    • The Sailor Rainbow stories have heaps of this, leading to a Running Gag of replacing "luck" with "femmeslash."
    • As pointed out by some of the commenters, Azra from "To Rule them All" can very easily be interpreted as having a thing for Galadriel.
• Hype Backlash:
  • Discussed, but ultimately averted for The Whittler's take on The Fault in Our Stars.
  • Played with in the case of more well-known fanfictions sporked, such as the Abuse Cycle or The Draco Trilogy. The sporkers choose them because they genuinely think they're terrible in their own right, but their fame (and not in a So Bad, It's Good way) makes it more noticeable and tends to have the sporkers trying to figure out just why the works are so popular.
• Informed Wrongness
  • "Identities" tries to paint Legolas as being wrong in regards to his suspicions of and hostility towards Morwen. The problem is that Morwen spent literal millennia as an agent of Sauron (who is also apparently her father), and the Fellowship knows this by now. Her attempts to convince them she's changed also come off as mighty weak. The closest she comes to offering proof that her change of heart is genuine is saying she'll give intelligence against Mordor... something that she never actually does. So in the end, Legolas doesn't come off as unreasonable for being the only one who doesn't easily forgive Morwen, but the Fellowship's Only Sane Man.
  • Unlike canon, where he's The Resenter, Libraryseraph sees Trian's mistrust and hatred of Raonar as understandable, since Raonar is publicly dismissive of Trian and much more popular, and Trian has every reason to suspect Raonar wants to be heir.
• Lady Mondegreen: A Running Gag in Master Ghandalf's sporking of "Identities" is the suethor accidentally creating new characters (Araorn, Boromi, Moe, etc.) with her misspellings.
• Narm:
  • Expect it to be pointed out if and when it happens.
  • Can also occur within the sporks themselves if a riffer takes themselves too seriously or makes too liberal use of their own Original Characters within the spork. When you spend 90% of a spork reading about the sporker's OCs and their angst, it's hard not to laugh. Especially since so many of the sporkers like to use characters (canonical or otherwise) from Crapsack Worlds.
• Nightmare Fuel: Several works sporked qualify once the sporkers notice Fridge Horror...
  • In the 9 fanfic Rebirth, Alice is the only human left in a post-apocalyptic world with dirty water, poisoned air, and highly-limited resources. While it's true that at the end of the source material the world had rain again and there was hope, it's pointed out in the spork that it would not have made everything better overnight...And again, Alice is a teenage girl who willingly left her parents and world for this place; even if she survives to a ripe old age, there is no one to procreate with, so the earth is still going to be without humans when she dies.
  • I'm Here To Help: Emerald completely erasing from reality an entire world/timeline, including all of the men, women, and children. Even worse, poor Sailor Mars has to see that it's coming for her too in the second before it erases her.
  • The Precure Meet The Dream Traveler series has the Gary-Stus grooming and abusing underage girls while everyone else in the fics just stands back and lets it happen. The abuse victims have no escape.
  • Mervin's analysis of just what would happen to humans in the world of Twilight if the Volturi weren't there to keep order. As she notes, the Illustrated Guide makes it canon that the Egyptian and Romanian covens once had incredibly massive empires founded on them brutally murdering anyone in their way and which involved humans being kept as slaves and food. Both of those groups see absolutely nothing wrong with what they did and, in fact, are eagerly awaiting the fall of the Volturi because the Volturi are the only ones keeping them from doing the same thing all over again. That's not even going into how virtually every vampire besides the Cullens and Denalis (who themselves cause countless human deaths and don't seem to care much) kill and eat humans with reckless abandon, again only keeping themselves in line because of the Volturi. If the Volturi weren't around, the human race would likely go extinct very quickly, and that's if humanity doesn't collectively firebomb vampirekind back into the Stone Age first.
    • Similarly, her analysis of how imprinting works for werewolves—you are genetically forced to love a certain person because she's a good genetic match for you. It doesn't matter how old she is; if your imprint says that toddler will grow up into a suitable mate, by god you're in love with that toddler. It doesn't matter if you love someone else and are planning to marry her; imprint says no, that emotion is gone. Any personality trait or interest of yours that might keep you from hanging out with her and catering to her whims 24/7? Gone. If she wants to hurt you, you can't stop her—in the text this is played for laughs as mere childish antics, but if the imprint forces you to let a little girl beat you over the head with rocks, who's to say it won't force you to let her stab you or something? Imprinting destroys whoever you were before and rewires your entire personality towards the single goal of carrying on the werewolf gene...and you won't even be allowed to realize what's being taken from you. No, you'll be forced to enjoy it.
  • All the horrible things Harry does in Partially Kissed Hero, which are justified because they're happening to bad people (read: people the author doesn't like)
  • Nobunaga-sensei, in which members of the titular character's harem get possessed by the ghosts of their sexually dissatisfied ancestors who selfishly use their bodies to seek gratification for themselves, overriding their consciousness and disabling their ability to consent. Especially horrifying is the way the possessed girls will be turned into raving sex addicts if the Stu so much as touches them as long as the ghosts still hang out in their bodies, their own feeling about the matter be damned.
• Portmanteau Couple Name: Shipping Mervin and Ket Makura has been dubbed Mervkura.
• Reviews Are the Gospel: Occasionally they review fanfics that are well received and have positive feedback more detailed than the stereotypical “this is good plz more” than even badfic gets, yet the sporkers will go into great detail about why the work is overrated, at which point its reputation takes a nosedive all over the Internet. Examples include I'm Here to Help, Harry Tano, and Harry Potter And The Invincible Techno Mage (the latter being accused of being a bashfic in disguise).
• The Scrappy: All sporkers tend to have one for whatever fic they're working on, and often they are a major reason the fic is being covered in the first place. In addition, many have personal ones they bring up even in unrelated sporkings for comparison's sake. Due to the Twilight Sporkings, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are brought up in this fashion many, many times. Clary and Jace from the The Mortal Instruments sporkings are similarly loathed. Christian Grey and Elena Lincoln from the Fifty Shades series are thoroughly despised as well, in addition to literally every “heroic” character in The Mists of Avalon.
• They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot:
  • In her sporking of "Meet the Corellians", Esme Amelia says that Han Solo having to raise a child during his smuggler days could make for an amazing story, but the fic in question just wastes all the potential.
  • Once Sauron is defeated by the Last Alliance in To Rule them All, Master Ghandalf notes the numerous things Azra could be doing while awaiting his return (going to Angmar with the Witch-King, infiltrating the Dúnedain as a spy, etc.) instead of just sitting around in Barad-dûr (which makes no sense, since it should have been demolished following Sauron's defeat).
  • While sporking Identities, Master Ghandalf notes that a lot could be done with exploring the ramifications of Boromir surviving. However, since the suethor seemed not to understand the effect sparing him would have on the plot, not only is nothing of the sort done, new plot holes are created. He suspects that the author only spared him so he could be paired up with Eowyn's OC cousin Anwyn.
  • What Yuki and her guest sporkers feel about Nobunaga-sensei.
  Ichigo: And if this man is the reincarnation of Oda Nobunaga, I'd expect this show to be a more thrilling and intriguing adaptation of the real Nobunaga's life and endeavors into a modern setting. I didn't think the creators would ignore this more appealing route in favor of making a plot solely concerning the protagonist's selecting from various women who all inexplicably love him.
• Unintentionally Sympathetic:
  • The reason Leah Clearwater is so popular in the community is that she is acknowledged as this, as she is mistreated by the narrative for not liking Bella or the awful relationship between her ex and her cousin, but never seems to actually do anything to deserve the incredibly nasty way the other characters talk to and about her. (This eventually led to the institution of the "let's shit on Leah" count, a tally of all the times the narration takes a pit stop so the characters can say something pointlessly mean about her.) Many instances of Leah's supposed nastiness are in fact her having a perfectly understandable reaction to stressful events (and in fact, the exact same reaction Jacob later has to very similar events, which only increases how sympathetic Leah seems, as all the characters acknowledge how hard it is for Jacob but refuse to extend similar grace to her).
  • The sporkers feel deep sympathy for Gwen in the The Mists of Avalon sporking, seeing her as a mentally ill woman who's being constantly tormented by the narrative and the people around her for the crime of not being Morgaine. They even start the "I Didn't Vote For You" counter for whenever she's treated unfairly.
• Unintentionally Unsympathetic: Many characters in sporked works come off as this. For some examples:
  • In her sporking of A Fairy Tale Christmas, Greenery Gripes says that Angela's desire to live the life of a princess comes off as very shallow and materialistic.
  • The sporkers for The Mists Of Avalon repeatedly point out that Marion Zimmer Bradley intended for Viviane (and, after she returns from the fairy kingdom, Morgaine) to be absolutely unimpeachable. They point this out every time that one of these characters does something that by objective standards would be a Moral Event Horizon crossing had it not been preceded by dozens of other equally vile actions by the same character. Almost all of the walls of text in that sporking are to prove that Bradley was not going for either Deliberate Values Dissonance or I Did What I Had to Do, but instead unambiguously endorsed everything an Avalonian does and expected praise for it.
  • While they acknowledge he was supposed to be a Villain Protagonist, Boyd, Libraryseraph, and Leliel see the Chaos version of Shinji not as an Affably Evil prankster schemer who sincerely cares about his friends, but a selfish Smug Snake who manipulates everyone close to him for small-minded materialism and emotional control, and who only succeeds via author fiat.
  • The sporkers are, of course, not fond of Edward Cullen of The Twilight Saga, finding him controlling and misogynistic rather than romantic and sweet, pointing to such instances as him stalking Bella and taking out her car engine. Mrs. Hyde's spork of the leaked draft of Midnight Sun argues that rather than giving Edward more depth, and showing his inner pain and how Bella brings out his softer side, it merely makes him come off as arrogant and condescending at best, and a sociopathic murderer at worst. He's constantly thinking about how easy it would be for him to kill people and at one point casually contemplates "slaughtering" the Quileutes (for telling Bella an old story about vampire, which they've long since forgotten actually happened and have no reason to think is anything more than just a story). Edward is supposed to be a moral upstanding Friendly Neighborhood Vampire, able to peacefully interact with humans most of the time and remorseful when he fails to control his bloodlust, standing as a contrast to the likes of Victoria and Aro. But the sporkers contend he's always thinking about hurting and killing people, and his inner narration explicitly shows he restrains himself to avoid disappointing Carlisle, with very little indication that he himself feels bad for these urges or thinks it would be wrong to act on them, which makes it very difficult to buy the claims that Edward is a good person and a good vampire.
• The Woobie: The sporkers, when they start talking about their backstories. Also overlaps with Iron Woobie, since they still got through them.
  • As for the characters themselves, Destiny in particular (the Designated Villain of the Harry Potter badfic The Impossible Wager) deserves some mention. Poor girl got kicked out of her role by Justice, was betrayed by her older sister Fate, and can barely do anything to stop it due to a game of Chance.

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