What An Idiot / Dick Tracy

Well at least he acknowledges it

Spoilers will be left unmarked, due to the nature of Dick Tracy.

He may be a brilliant detective, but even Tracy fumbles every now and then.

Gould Era

• Junior and Tracy realize that people that employed Junior are using him to smuggle "dope." They proceed to break into the place and secure enough of it to prove the employer's guilt (Worth noting is that Junior has just been adopted by Tracy and is rather young.
  You'd Expect: ...Which means they have the drug-smuggling employers arrested immediately right?
  Instead: They just have Junior continue with his duties, sending him to work before they make the arrest.
  Even Worse: They don't have anyone positioned to arrest them outside of a few cops outside the front entrance.
  As A Result: They realize Junior must have broken in, notice the Cops outside, and kidnap Junior, leading to more stupidity.
  • So after the above happens, Tracy goes in to save Junior. The villain of the piece (Dan "the squealer" Mucelli) manages to turn the lights out and shoot Tracy. He then shoves the gun in Junior's hand. This leads the Chief to suspect that Junior did the shooting.
    You'd Expect: Someone (looking at you Chief!) to realize the inherent illogic in assuming that Junior decided to shoot Tracy after giving him proof of his employer's guilt. Worth noting is that Junior had been living with Tracy at this time, and could potentially have had him killed in his sleep, were he the assassin that the Chief hypothesizes he is.
    Instead: They make a scene of locking Junior in a cell, after dragging him away from (a conscious) Tracy's bed, stressing both of them out immensely.
    As A Result: Junior is cleared (by Tracy) but manages to escape, determined to prove his innocence, vigilante style. When Tracy recovers, he rightfully calls the Chief out on this.^note Patton felt he was guilty but he at least tried to help Junior
    Bonus Points: Tracy proves Junior's innocence with a ballistics test, proving that not only did the police department fail to do anything of the sort, but that the gun Junior had wasn't even the same gun Tracy was shot with. This also heavily indicates that the gun in question had never been fired, and this detail was somehow never noticed.
    • So after Chief Brandon's horrific mishandling of the situation, Tracy is obviously PISSED when he finds out Junior is somewhere by himself. Junior is currently being beaten up by criminals and shopkeepers alike incidentally. Tracy points out how utterly mishandled the situation is and angrily places full blame on the Chief.
      You'd Expect: Chief Brandon quickly realize how badly he mishandled things, that Tracy is obviously not in his right mind, and get to apologizing straightaway.
      Instead: Only Patton does this and tries to clam Tracy down as much as possible. Brandon on the other hand tells Tracy that "he doesn't like his attitude" and that he was working for his own good.
      You'd Then Expect: He not do anything that might escalate the situation, when Tracy blithely tells him he "can watch out for himself next time" out of anger over the mistreatment of his surrogate son.
      Instead: Brandon gets oddly angry about this and yells at him to GET OUT.
      As A Result: Tracy gets out and works on getting Junior back. For some reason this comes as a total shock to the chief, who expects Tracy to be at his post later.

• Spaldoni is hiding out in a factory with his gang, but Junior has managed to tail them. They manage to recognize that Junior is there, and Junior flees the scene (in front of Spaldoni and several gangsters) planning to expose the villain's hideout.
  You'd Definitely Expect: Spaldoni either catch up with and take Junior down ASAP or get the hell out of his hideout before Junior brings the Police down on his known-to-be-murderous ass, getting him executed.
  Somehow Instead: He comes to the conclusion that Junior will bring Dick Tracy and no one else to the factory, and that Dick will have no backup or real plan. As such, he stops his own men from shooting at Junior and lets him leave. He has no stated reason for wanting to trap Tracy incidentally.
  Even Worse: Against all logic, he's proven COMPLETELY CORRECT!
  As A Result: Due to Tracy holding the Idiot Ball and coming alone for no reason, they manage to fend him off temporarily, but Tracy kills pretty much all of them in the ensuing fight anyways, including Spaldoni.

• A somewhat elderly British agent named Bumstead comes to visit Tracy's town and work with the force for a little bit. Chief Brandon is a little pissed at the idea of having a British Officer for some reason though.
  You'd expect: Everyone put aside their weird nationalism to be diplomatic.
  Instead: Tracy and Chief Brandon find everything about him hilarious, sometimes to his face, even insulting the idea that he could be somewhat competent.
  As A... Climax: Bumstead takes personal offense after a decent amount of this, now feeling the need to prove himself, and we get a bonus round.
  • So after actually getting some praise from the Chief, Bumstead quickly figures out where Steve Brogan and Larceny Lu are hiding.
    You'd Expect: Since Steve has killed at least 6 people in this storyline alone (Not to mention Lu), that Tracy and Bumstead swiftly have the extremely dangerous criminals surrounded and arrested.
    Instead: Bumstead gets weirdly snippy and insists he can go in and capture them by himself.
    You'd Then Expect: Tracy to stop him with force, since everyone inside is incredibly dangerous.
    Instead: He bets that this will teach Bumstead a lesson, and lets him go. It does.
    As You'd Expect: He is swiftly captured, beaten to near death, nearly drowned, and paralyzed by the punishment inflicted. Meanwhile Steve and Lu escape.

• Expert safecracker and attempted murderer Boris Arson has been jailed. Shortly after receiving a letter from his lawyer, he requests to be allowed to cook in his cell, saying he has a bad stomach and can't tolerate prison food. He says he can buy his own food and even have a handy electric stove nearby in the corridor (for some reason) brought into his cell. Chief Brandon says this is against prison rules.
  You'd Expect: "Sorry, can't do that. Welcome to jail!"
  Instead: Brandon tells Pat to go out and get Mr. Arson's groceries. Arson requests steak and really, really big baking potatoes.
  You'd Expect: "Are you kidding, Chief!? That's not only against prison rules, but highly suspicious."
  Instead: "Here's your groceries, Arson, but watch your step. This is against the rules, after all."
  And So: Arson gets his stove and potatoes, but whoops, he burns himself on the stove! He wants iodine, but Dick Tracy, back from investigating (and not liking the idea of Arson cooking to begin with) tells Pat to get some mercurochrome out of the first aid kit. Boris demands iodine, saying he'll pay for it and he's scared of gangrene.
  You'd Expect: "Arson, at least one of us knows that prison isn't a summer home. Keep your dollar and suck it up."
  Instead: "You've got a lot of nerve asking for all this stuff, but here's your iodine."
  As A Result: Arson gets his iodine, whittles a raw potato into a replica gun, darkens it to gunmetal gray/blue with the iodine and when Pat's left behind to hold the fort at the station, Arson uses his "smuggled gun" to hold him up, gets a real gun, and escapes.
  

• As is common in the 30s era, Tess has been kidnapped by the villain of the storyline: Bookie Joe! He actually just wants Tracy and his squad to stop wrecking his gambling properties and will return her if Tracy agrees.
  You'd Expect: Tracy send someone with no personal connection to the case to act as a go-between.
  Instead: He sends the girlfriend of the guy Joe recently had murdered, Toby.
  As A Result: Toby almost gets Tess and herself killed by attacking Joe. This also leads to her being arrested and going blind in a later storyline, all because the arrest was rushed and Toby couldn't be trusted after going rogue like that.

• After fleeing from a horse stable that's gone up in flames, Bookie Joe is arrested by the cops.
  You'd Expect: That'd he'd go along quietly or at least make a run for it in any direction...
  Instead: ...any direction except straight through the flaming horse stable!!
  As a Result: He gets his head caught on some harnesses and hopefully chokes into unconsciousness rather than being awake while burning to death.
  

• Tracy and several fellow officers have cornered "Cut" Famon, an Expy of Al Capone (down to the backstory). His mother and brother are also in the house. Two figures emerge and try to round the corner of the building and escape, one in Ma Famon's clothing.
  You'd Expect: Even assuming they think the one in Ma's clothes is Ma herself, and somehow know which member of the Famon family isn't coming out... Considering Ma is a fit tough gangster in her own right, just as deadly as her son, you'd expect that they shoot both figures before either can escape.
  Instead: Tracy orders the officers to shoot "Cut" only, and let Ma go for now because there's no way she can possibly escape or be a threat later right?
  As A Result: Turns out "Cut" was in Ma's clothing and escapes since they didn't shoot him... oops. He proceeds to go on another crime spree and kill some more people, not that he did anything Ma wouldn't be able to do in his place.

• Tess figures out that her new husband murdered his mother, and she (literally) has the proof
  You'd Expect: She go straight to Tracy or any other police officer
  Instead: She goes straight to her husband, and angrily shows him the proof of his crime. (Granted she was undergoing some Sanity Slippage)
  As A Result: He tries to kill her (No... really?)

• It's not been a good day for an unnamed radio operator. Not only has he been kidnapped for an escape vehicle by a hitman named Krome, but now the both of them are stuck in a heavy snow. Luckily he managed to leave a recording behind for the Police, letting them know that Krome kidnapped him. He then talks Krome into calling the police to send for a snow plow to save both their lives and nothing else.
  You'd Expect: Since he already let the police figure out that Krome is in the car from his earlier recording, that he just call them for a snow plow and wait for the arrest to happen.
  Instead: He tells the Police that Krome is in the car, right in front of Krome.
  As A Result: Krome attacks him and escapes the location on foot.

• Widow Depool is having some issues. Her deranged nephew Selbert has gone rogue on her and kidnapped her granddaughter Myrna, forcing her to shoot him. As she patches him up, she rescues Myra and informs her that she has poisoned the doorbell to buy Selbert time to be healed, as she loves them both. Worth noting is that Myrna is in her adulthood.
  You'd Expect: Myra do... honestly anything but what she does next.
  Instead: She calls her boyfriend to come pick her up at the front door.
  As A Result: He rings the doorbell and gets poisoned.

• Tracy needs a blood donation, but oh noooo they don't have time to see who shares his blood type so it looks like he's a goner. Pat Patton and Constable Ferret (new character) volunteer to donate their blood.
  You'd Expect: Since Patton knows he is the correct blood type to donate to Tracy (as seen in the "Cut Famon" storyline), they immediately get to work having him donate the blood.
  Instead: They waste valuable time testing both of them, and call in Ferret despite both being matches.

• Ms Pruneface's partner in crime Emil is forced to stay indoors while she goes out to work to make them money. She warns him not to use her whip, as it's special to her.
  You'd Expect: Perhaps he find another way, any other way to amuse himself, considering his employer has a Hair-Trigger Temper.
  Instead: It's just too tempting to resist, he tries out her whip.
  But that's not all: He uses it... outside the window!!! On a tree!
  As A Result: The whip catches on the tree, a kid claims it and it makes its way to Tracy. Ms Pruneface beats his head to a pulp when she finds out.
  
• Later Ms Pruneface is hiding out at the mayor's house, when she falls into a pool with a teenager. A good chunk of her makeup is washed off and the teen recognizes her.
  You'd Expect: The teen keep silent and act like he doesn't recognize her.
  Instead: (Gasp) "YOU'RE MS PRUNEFACE!!!"
  As A Result: She drowns him.

• Tracy arrives at the house of B.O. Plenty, and finds known criminal Breathless Mahoney hiding out, intending to arrest her and B.O. While waiting for his backup to arrive (Which will be in a couple hours) Breathless offers to make them both some Tea.
  You'd Expect: Both him and B.O. keep a close eye on her, make her drink some, or just don't drink it.
  Instead: They play checkers in another room, and accept Breathless's offer
  As A Result: Breathless poisons the tea, thankfully non-fatally.
  Even worse: Tracy isn't sure which one poisoned him since they both left while he was poisoned.
  Bonus Points: Breathless just found the rat poison on the counter, if Tracy had entered the kitchen he could have removed it

• Itchy Oliver is on the run, and as far as he knows, everyone thinks him dead. Unbeknownst to him, Tracy's already seen through his ruse, but assumes he's hiding in a truck. This leads to Tess being sent to Tracy's car for tear gas canisters, Itchy right behind.
  You'd Expect: He reconsider his plan to hijack the Tracy's car when he hears Tess planning to get Tear Gas from it, perhaps escaping on foot or finding another escape.
  Alternatively: Perhaps he just shoot Tess so she can't be a threat to him. He really has no reason not to, having just killed 4 people (to his knowledge).
  Instead: He forces her to get them out of there at gunpoint, keeping his gun to her neck at an angle that multiple people notice the gun in.
  As A Result: Tess proves to be his absolute worst nightmare, sending as many signals that she's in danger as possible, and eventually sealing his fate by ramming their car in an overly narrow tunnel and honking the horn while he's helplessly sealed in the backseat. This would have ensured his capture, but for the next entry.

• So Tess has essentially trapped Itchy. He can't do anything to her and he's trapped in the backseat while she's trapped up front. Luckily Tracy reads her morse code signals from the headlights and realizes what the situation is.
  You'd Expect: Everyone have a plan to contain the incredibly dangerous Itchy before he can be a threat to everyone, perhaps by using all the cops they have on hand (currently a lot) to surround the tunnel before they free the trapped Tess/Itchy.
  Instead: They just have some horses pull on the car, assuming Itchy'll have to come out the side the horses are pulling on.
  You'd then expect: When Tess shouts (audibly) "STOP PULLING THE HORSES!", Someone listen and reassess the situation.
  Instead: They keep doing it and ignore her, even as her shouting is ominously cut off.
  As A Result: This proves disastrous, as Itchy just escapes out the back the second he gets a chance, steals a car, and escapes. While he technically escapes in an unforeseen manner (the roof was being pulled off, rather than the whole car), there's really no excuse for the above two points.

• Nilon Hoze, her cousin Rod, and her chauffeur are concerned about her Aunt's pen-pal boyfriend Mortimer. Not only will he get all their inheritance, but Rod had him background checked and he's a suave conman.
  You'd Expect: They tell the Aunt he's a conman and have him arrested if possible.
  Instead: They kidnap him, keep him unconscious with gassing, and send some ugly guy to the Aunt's to pretend he's Mortimer. They expect to be able to have Mortimer sent out of the country on pain of arrest.
  You'd then expect: They choose someone that isn't a newsworthy convicted felon.
  Instead: They choose B.O. Plenty, someone who's going to be tried for attempted murder soon.
  As A Result: Everything that can go wrong does. Dick Tracy exposes the scam, and Mortimer dies of a heart attack in their custody, escalating the situation drastically. Only their remarkably smart coverups stop them from being arrested on the spot, and that doesn't last forever...

• After multiple attempts on Diet Smith's life it becomes clear that he's a massive target for the underworld. He does however, plan to brief the police of different districts on using his new anti-crime camera devices.
  You'd Expect: Since everyone on the force knows that Diet is a marked man and his information is invaluable in fighting crime, they take all precautions.
  Instead: Chief Brandon lets an imposter in, despite their sketchy credentials.
  As A Result: The imposter (Big Frost) gets the information he needs.
  • Interestingly, while the above mistake is the one with major ramifications, there is another costly error made in the presentation itself.
    You'd Expect: The presentation to explain how to use the cameras and nothing more, as this is the goal of the meeting. A Dirty Cop is never out of the question, and Chief Brandon (among others) have encountered such in the past.
    Instead: They spell out that the creator of the camera is not in fact Diet Smith, but a teenager by the name of Brilliant. Brilliant lives alone at his apartment incidentally.
    As A Result: Brilliant is killed by Big Frost.

• In the original 'Mr. Crime' storyline, we get Newsuit Nan, who has just received a call from her criminal associates about a failed hit. She finds the reason when she discovers a Television Camera in her own apartment. She decides to run to Mr. Crime and warn him to leave. She realizes that he might kill her in a fit of rage though, and shoots his barracuda to remove the possibility of being thrown in there.
  You'd Expect: She use her specially created nail polishes to stop him, should he decide to kill her. Said nail polish has been demonstrated inducing Mr Crime into effectively being her slave for a decent period of time.
  Instead: She wears gloves for no reason.
  As A Result: He kills her in a fit of rage, strangling her at close range whilst she is helpless to resist while her gloves are on.

• While raiding Ivy's lair, Lizz finds a nitroglycerin bomb that Ivy can set off with a device. Luckily the police have Rodney who helped arm it, and have him try to disarm it. He seems to be able to, and they manage to arrest Ivy after he tries to activate the device. Ivy then realizes that his device had a battery in upside down, and laughingly says that they would all be dead if not for this error.
  You'd Expect: They work the situation out later and proceed with caution.
  Instead: In a particularly confusing lapse of logic, Tracy tells Sam to insert the battery into the device correctly (activating the device) just to prove to Ivy that Rodney disarmed the bomb.
  As A Result: The entire area blows up, as it seems the battery was the only thing stopping it. It's only through sheer luck that no one was hurt. They still lose a ton of evidence of Ivy's wrongdoings though.

• The Capypso brothers may just win an award for "dumbest villains in a Dick Tracy story".
  • So to begin with, their plan is to swindle Morin Plenty by convincing him a box-shaped machine is better than his invention. The 'machine' does nothing but make noise and light up when activated. A short person in the box is the one actually doing the things the 'machine' is purported to do.
    You'd Expect: They go through all the steps to ensure no one catches on. Removing any cigarettes they explicitly know the short person to smoke would be a good first step.
    Instead: They warn the person in the box not to smoke... but he's given cigarettes anyways.
    As A Result: The Cigarette smoke is smelt.
  • So after the above happens, Tracy and Morin decide to smoke them out. They unplug the machine and ask the Calypsos to run it, knowing that the machine is disconnected.
    You'd Expect: The lack of noises and lights tip them off that something's wrong.
    Instead: They don't notice and have the "machine" run anyways, leading to Tracy and Morin revealing they've caught on.
    You'd Then Expect: They... oh jeez anything but what they do next.
    Instead: One of them whips out a gun and tries to shoot Morin on the spot. In front of Dick Tracy, who is actually armed.
    As A Result: Tracy shoots their finger off and almost captures the shooter. He would have if not for the short guy saving them.
  • Giant (the short person operating the "machine") decides he wants no part of this, which is somewhat reasonable considering they just got in a firefight with Dick Tracy and an Octogenarian. He just saved one of the Calypso brothers's life and clearly just wants to remove himself from the business.
    You'd Expect: They let him go, maybe bribe him to stay quiet, anything to make themselves safer. It bears noting that they are unaware they killed someone in the aforementioned fight.
    Instead: They jump on him and choke him to DEATH.
    As A Result: They are now confirmed murderers. This actually leads directly to their deserved deaths later.
  • They decide to dispose of the body by framing it as a car accident.
    You'd Expect: They make it look like a car accident and destroy the body.
    Instead: They put him in the front seat without adjusting for his height, leave the ignition off, and leave the body intact enough for the police to notice he's been choked.
    As A Result: Pretty much exactly what you'd think would happen happens.
  • Now that the brothers are wanted murderers, they need a place to hide out.
    You'd Expect: They avoid family members like the plague.
    Instead: They go to their Aunt, who tries to turn them in once she figures things out.
    As A Result: Morin, Tracy, and a few others hone in on the location, and the pair are shot to death by Giant's vengeful wife.

• Policewoman Liz has just killed a hit-man gunning for a farm girl named Fatty, while herself posing as Fatty. Said hitman was hired by Rhodent, since she's the only one who can identify him as the killer. Only problem is now Fatty feels homesick and wants to go back to the farm.
  You'd Expect: Tracy have her placed under police protection pronto, or at least leave Liz there. After all, there's no reason to suggest Rhodent won't try to kill her again.
  Instead: He sees no problem with this and leaves her at the farm with her father.
  As A Result: Rhodent comes to do the deed himself, resulting in Fatty's father being shot and Fatty being kidnapped.

• The criminal Haf-n-Haf is trying to escape a building full of his dead wife, stolen purses and dead crows. To do this, he uses his two-sided face to his advantage, letting the police see his grotesque side, while covering said side upon going downstairs.
  You'd Expect: The officer to stop anyone that leaves a building this obviously involved with crime.
  Instead: He lets Haf-n-Haf go because one side of his face looks nothing like the description of the man reported to be running downstairs from the Police.
  As A Result: The murderer escapes.
  Even Worse: The officer is evidently never questioned on who left the building, because Junior dismisses a sketch of Haf-n-Haf's dual face as misleading witnesses.
  • Speaking of which... Junior does a police sketch of Haf-n-Haf based on two witness's accounts. Thing is, the witnesses each saw a different side of his face.
    You'd Expect: Since they can't seem to believe that this is the same face, someone realize that both sketches were seen in the building by officers, and thus both men must have been living in Haf-n-Haf's room.
    Or At least: Junior keep the dang sketches in case one of them is right.
    Instead: Junior assumes they much both be lying, and throws out the sketches.
    As A Result: Haf-n-Haf is able to operate with reasonable freedom for the next few weeks, spelling bad news for his victims.

Locher era

• Shirl Locke applies to be a Police officer. Unbeknownst to everyone, she is actually an escaped mental patient.
  You'd Expect: This prevent her from being hired in some manner.
  Instead: Nah. They do such a bad job of screening her that they don't even find out about that aspect of her recent past.
  As A Result: She orchestrates bank robberies for her own amusement and uses her police position to help them. This results in death and stolen money.

• Shirl Locke the Dirty Cop is impatient about an ongoing bank robbery that she is in on. While her incredibly idiotic decision to show up at the bank in the middle of the robbery can potentially be explained by the revelation that she is actually an escaped mental patient (a revelation that is only learned by the characters present after the story is concluded), the actions of the mentally well people around her cannot.
  • Baskerville's bank robbery using Dogs is thwarted by the Police, and Tracy manages to get a Whistle in the mouth of each Officer. This is important because the Dogs will attack anyone without one of these special Whistles without exception. Unfortunately they only have enough of these Whistles for the exact # of people in the bank.
    You'd Expect: They do something to prevent innocent civilians from entering the bank and being eaten by the dogs.
    Instead: They decide to wait around for backup to show up and move the dogs (And no, it is never explained what their plan is to protect the arriving team). At best, they are hoping that the presence of a Police car will deter citizens^note While Shirl enters with minimal difficulty, she is currently a Police officer, and her fellow officers may not all be aware of the fact that she is under suspicion.. At worst, this never crossed their minds and they are endangering Civilians through their sheer dumbness. (If they have a plan, it is not explained)
    As A Result: Shirl enters, and is attacked by the Dogs. The fact that she is the villain does not negate that this could potentially have been anyone that needed to enter the bank.
    You'd Now Expect: The Police take out the dogs with the guns that they have out.
    You'd At Least Expect: The Police don't play god with the unarmed people they plan to arrest.
    Instead: Tracy rips a whistle out of the Big Bad's mouth and throws it to Shirl, effectively murdering him. This is a plan that takes more time, risk, and moral compromisation than simply shooting the vicious dogs.
    Ye Gods!: This is not even justifiable by assuming that Tracy wants to protect his fellow police officer Shirl or anything like that, because he is shown before and after the situation to be aware that Shirl is a Dirty Cop and be disgusted by her.
    As A Result: Baskerville gets torn apart by his own attack dogs after losing his protective whistle; all the while, it never occurs to Dick or his crew to shoot the damn dogs until LONG after the villain is a literal dog's dinner. Tracy is also directly responsible for his death despite the situation having deescalated to the point of Baskerville practically being under arrest by this point.

Current era

• The Mumbles Quartet (Sans Mumbles) have fallen on hard times. They decide the best course of action is to work with Mumbles... The reason they went to prison, and the guy who tried to blow them up over a petty grudge.

• The Crime syndicate has a genius plan. Plant fingerprints of hired killer Abner Kadaver (Who works for them) around any killings the Mob pulls off that could be connected to any of their members. Just to be safe, their Corrupt Cop puts a camera in the police station
  You'd Expect: Perhaps they do this subtly, without doing anything ridiculous to blow their agent's cover.
  Instead: They leak the fact that Mumbles is innocent to the News in an odd attempt to discredit them.
  As A Result: The Police realize that something is up and find the camera.
  Then the Police put some gum on the camera to bait the Corrupt Cop into removing it.
  You'd Expect: They just place a different camera.
  Instead: They tell their mole that the gum must be removed at once.
  As A Result: The mole is exposed