Web Video / Diamanda Hagan

ALL HAIL THE LECHER BITCH

"I'm a shy, meek, small-voiced person who understands subtlety, loves people in black masks, and is really greatly enjoying Left Behind. Oh, and I love the cock."

— Diamanda Hagan, playing against type

Diamanda Hagan is a Northern Irish Butch Lesbian and Evil Overlord of the nation of Haganistan, with a mysterious past (who might have previously been Jerrica "Jem" Benton in a cartoon) and a sideline as a film critic and the host of Diamanda Hagan: Lecher Bitch. She mostly reviews bad movies, but has also done a recap/review of the series Bonekickers, Urban Gothic and Adam Adamant Lives!; Twatty Who Reviews, focusing on the worst episodes of Doctor Who, and the Homeless Bsterrd Theatre Reviews starring Aleister D. Homelesssb’sterrd. This is similar to Bum Reviews, but focusing on theater (she even describes him as a distant cousin of Chester A. Bum).

She can also be seen here, was on Channel Awesome until March 2018 and RT Gomer Productions. She also has a YouTube channel.

She was a member of Reviewtopia, but she left in January 2013 after an incident at the MAGfest Fan Convention involving members of the site (notably Lord Kat) abusing and exploiting an overly drunk woman to get viewers on a live stream. She also appeared with her real life husband The Omega on Project Million Entertainment, for a podcast called Lesbian Talk, which has since migrated to The Omega's YouTube channel.

Aside from her in-character Video Review Show, she is also involved in:

• Twatty Who Reviews: a voice over review show with a lot of vitriol and sarcasm, drawing on a lifetime as a classic whovian and a palpable disappointment with the new series. Seems to be the biggest hit with non-Hagan fans. Other shows reviewed in a similar manner include:
  • Bonekickers: which she claims to be the worst British show of its decade
  • Demons: said to be the worst show since 'Bonekickers', even exceeding its stupidity once or twice.
  • Adam Adamant Lives!: A "very flawed" but beloved drama/fantasy show from the 1960s, loved for its 1960s depictions of sex and violence.
  • Urban Gothic: a mostly disappointing horror anthology series with a couple stories that truly stand out as brilliant.
  • Genesis 7: an Edutainment series promoting Young Earth creationism.
• Smegheads Guide to Red Dwarf: A season-by-season critique of the British sci-fi comedy series.
• Backseat Critique: a Vlog series reviewing new releases with her real life friends and collaborators. Frequently found on TGWTG.
• Renegade C**t (spelled exactly that way): Occasional video essays on a variety of subjects from timelord gender politics to forgotten Monty Python series to the Blue Oyster Club being an eldritch enforcer of justice.
• Lesbian Talk: A podcast co-hosted and produced with The Omega.
• You Probably Shouldn't Cook This: An experimental cooking show centering around combining disparate foods with each other and trying the results.
• Hagan's Histories of Polar Exploration: An extensive video essay series about the Franklin Expedition (inspired by the AMC adaption of the Dan Simmons novel, which is also critiqued and fact-checked).
• Father Ted: Fury Road. Which is what it sounds like: clips from Mad Max: Fury Road dubbed with voices from Father Ted.

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This show provides examples of:

• Accentuate the Negative: Although in Diamanda Hagan Plugs, she plugs movies and shows she likes.
  • Also, during her reviews, if even the smallest thing in the movie is well-done, she'll talk about it for a moment, and then go back to hating on the rest of the movie.
• Actually Pretty Funny:
  • She says this on seeing Stonewall and Riot, after having screwed their way through half the supervillains of the city, come to a complete stop and walk away when faced with a supervillainess.
  • From the fifth episode of Bonekickers, she genuinely laughed at Parton's remark about the Germans:
  "Any country that adopts leather hotpants as a national outfit does not operate on the grounds of reason".
  • In her review of "Aliens of London/World War Three", she applauds Russell T Davies' mastery of censor subversion.
  • There's a few laughs in her crossover review of Meet the Feebles with The Isle of Rangoon and Zentih will Rule.:
  Sebastian (after Robert nitpicks the historical accuracy of a skit): Good grief, I asked for a "pennant," not a "pedant!"
  Starchibald: (laughs) Ok, that was funny.
• Africa Is a Country: Calls out the gratuitous use of this trope in the second episode of Bonekickers, when one man says that the bones of the dead slaves should be returned "to Africa" without naming a culture or even country they should be returned to, and later depictions of Africans are a generic mishmash of wildly disparate cultures. She then hypothesizes that even if he did manage to narrow it down to a country, he still wouldn't know the proper area and could have accidentally buried them with their ancestral enemies or even the people that enslaved them.
• A God Am I: Declares herself a god after coming back from the dead in her Intermedio review.
• Alter-Ego Acting: A pretty staunch type 1, as Diamanda Hagan is a separate person from her actor. (Who does exist, as her real self, in her character's universe where, for the crime of looking like the leader of Haganistan, she is eternally locked in the dungeon and forced to watch The Room.)
• Alternate Universe Counterpart: Nina Galas in the Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist review. She wears clothing with a lighter colour scheme and plain white facepaint, is generally more upbeat if slightly withdrawn, and is routinely abused by the white-masked Tormentors.
• Angrish: Diamanda tends to devolve into this during her Gwendolyn review due to the Patchwork Map, and having no minions to kill.
• Arch-Nemesis: She has many, including Kirk Cameron, but notably The Cartoon Hero. Specifically, he's her 37th.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Chastises Wood from Condorman for invading his friend's life, taking over his apartment, almost getting him in trouble with the local law, almost ruining his career by posing as a secret agent, stealing his bed and then trying to wake him up so he could show him his "hand drawn porn."
  • In the review of Starbooty, The main character's boss lists things found in the her(?) niece's dorm room including "Seventeen vials of crack cocaine, 36 used dental dams, a box of dead gerbils and a Lee press-on nail." Guess which on the main character calls the boss out on, which is then called out by Hagan.
• Artistic License – Chemistry: In Harlem Rides the Range, Diamanda mentions the confusing initial plot point of a radium mine. Radium is not mined, it is refined from uranium using a process discovered by Pierre and Marie Curie.
• Artistic License – Geography:
  • In Left Behind she remarks it's amazing how when it's six in Israel it's 6:03 in Iraq, considering the latter is an hour ahead.
  • Hagan describes the first setting in Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak as a theme-park built on a set that's trying to approximate China. Later in she gets annoyed at the titular land shifting constantly between being a barren desert and a tropical rainforest leading her to yell "Just fucking pick one!"
• Artistic License – History:
  • She is outraged in Ilsa that her Nazi assistant is made up to look like Magnus Hirschfeld. It prompts her to get up onto a soap box and point out that Hirschfield in fact campaigned for gay rights and was opposed to the Nazis.
  • One of her major problems with Bone Kickers. For example, in one episode when a character remarks that Egyptians and the Greeks were more advanced that Britain 4000 years ago, she points out the oldest known habitation that still exists (and had drainage) is in Scotland. She takes special delight in pointing out stuff that could easily be a plot point if the writers knew anything about history (e.g., a cargo of slaves delivered under a decade after Britain outlawed the slave trade).
  • A running problem with Genesis 7; the characters go on constant creationist apologetic rants trying to say every scientific theory was created by atheists who just didn't want to be held to moral standards... even for things like genetics and the Big Bang which were originally proposed by priests.
• Artistic License – Law: One of the major plotholes in The Thirteenth Child (nothing to do with the book). The police led by an assistant DA try to confront the villain, only for him to point out that not only is their only evidence completely circumstantial but it was obtained during a warrantless search of his house, and that they don't even have a warrant to do a legal search much less arrest him (he also pointed this out during the first visit, only for the assistant DA to act huffy at the idea). They then proceed to ignore this and don't even seek a warrant or call for backup when one of them dies. The review also points out that the death of the first police officer was caused by him breaking and entering without a warrant and violating the containment of a dangerous animal; taken by itself the villain would probably get off.
• Artistic License – Religion: In Bonekickers, an artifact that would prove the existence of Jesus Christ is used by the villain to try and disprove the religion of Islam. As Diamanda points out, Jesus is a major prophet in Islam, so proving his existence would only affirm their faith. What follows is a skit where the villain keeps trying to provoke a crusade by saying that Jesus exists, only for the people of Mecca to agree with him.
• Ass Shove: One Minion gets this treatment in her review of Project Million.
  Minion: "That sniper rifle was a pain in the ass to get through security. Literally..."
• Audible Sharpness: In Pineapple Chunks.
  Diamanda: Really, try lifting a knife in the air and see if it makes a sound like that.
• Bad Boss: She kills, tortures and is generally horrible to her minions.
  • Lord Ted is this to Nina, Diamanda's alternate universe good counterpart.
• Badass Boast: Does one at the end of her Biggles: Adventures in Time review which is also a near word for word Shout-Out to Kai from Lexx.
• Be Careful What You Wish For: In the review of Slaughtered Vomit Dolls, Diamanda expresses annoyance that the cameraman keeps vomiting on severed limbs and that he'd do it on something else for a change. He promptly vomits in a beer mug and drinks it back down.
  Diamanda: I asked for that.
• Because Destiny Says So: Aleister cannot die or be killed "because of the Reason." Every time "the Reason" is brought up to justify a point, the characters inevitably concede to it.
• Berserk Button:
  • She tends to fly off the handle whenever she mentions the spaceship powered by love from "Fear Her". In fact, "Fear Her" in general seems to act as one.
  • She loathes the fact that shooting the special "Planet of the Dead" in Dubai meant that the BBC was giving the British people's money to the homophobic and slavery-using United Arab Emirates, and considers Russell T. Davies (who is gay) to be a hypocrite for being OK with this and a coward for not going to Dubai himself. On top of that, the desert looks about as real to her as a set using CGI, which they could have just done anyways and not given money to Dubai to.
  • She is angered that one episode of Bonekickers frequently refers to bisexuality in a negative way. Especially because they play the fey museum curator for laughs.
  • In general she did not like Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS, but having the camp assistant look like Magnus Hirschfeld pissed her off like no one's business.
  • Picking on Minority religions makes her pretty damn angry. Big players like Christianity, Islam, and even Atheists like herself are targets of mockery, so long as one has Shown Their Work. Depicting small groups like theistic satanists as crazed bad guys prompts her to remind everyone how much more suffering major religions have caused in comparison.
    • The Bonekickers episode "The Cradle of Civilisation" used what were essentially middle-eastern devil worshipers as their bad guys. The episode was centered around Iraq and aired during The War on Terror.
    • The Adam Adamant Lives! episode "Village of Evil" depicts a usually cool Adament getting visibly scared at the idea of Devil worship. Hagan points out that even in The '60s, practicing Satanism was perfectly legal:
      Hagan: He found a prayer book and a black candle and he's terrifed. He might as well be scared of a copy of the Talmud and a menorah.
    • Although given that the character was from the 1880s it wouldn't be too surprising if he did.
• Bigger Than Jesus: After realizing it took her an entire three weeks to come back from the dead, Hagan quips "Still did better than Jesus — He didn't exist!"
• Black Comedy Rape:
  • In one review she threatens to rape one of the minions and every male in his family until the year 3000.
  • "Cunnilingus time!"
  • Played with in the Eat The Schoolgirl review, where she demands that Oancitizen make a rape scene in the movie funny, and the best he can come up with is playing the theme song from Jem over it. Diamanda is horrified.
  • "Take a Shot!"
  • One time the outright rapes Alistair just off screen because he wouldn't stop interrupting the review. Of course, it seems Alistair is so perverted that there's no sex act he won't willingly participate in.
  "Oh! How much do I owe you?"
• Black Vikings: Used in a gag where Malcolm cameos in a crossover review of Vikingdom. The whole joke is that everyone in the conversation knows it's historically defensible, they just talk over each other so much defending the idea it takes a few minutes to realize this.
• Borrowed Catch Phrase: Aleister has some of the same catchphrases as Chester A. Bum e.g. "I [unusual event] once!" Diamanda also on occasionally uses the M. Bison "Of course!" clip, usually when a character does something that makes no sense.
  Diamanda: Emanuele seeks anonymity and a new life free of the burdens of her old. So she lets a newspaper cover the story.
  M. Bison: Of course!
• Book Ends: "This is Bonekickers; you have been warned." "That was Bonekickers; you were warned."
• Break the Cutie:
  • Oancitizen and Jew Wario are two of her favorite targets.
  • Hagan has a recurring guest role on the Indy Christian Review show where she tries to do this to the host. In his finale she actually succeeds in convincing him to give up the show. Kind of. Sorta.
• Brick Joke: During her review of "Faust", Diamanda is interrupted by a phone call from a future version of herself, who starts swearing at her angrily, prompting Diamanda to begin swearing back. Three seasons later, in the "Where The Dead Go To Die" review, Diamanda gets so upset that she steals a time phone from one of her minions to call herself in the past, giving us the other side of that phone call.
• Broken Aesop:
  • A character in Raspberry Reich states that masturbation is counter-revolutionary. This is after we've already seen one character masturbate.
  Diamanda: "A porno telling us masturbation is bad."
  • Memory Run centers around a male (presumably heterosexual) protagonist who has his body stolen and his brain transferred into a woman who is/ was pregnant with his child. After he is forced to destroy his old body he simply acquiesces to living out the rest of his life as a hot woman and even takes a male lover, despite showing no attraction to men beforehand. Hagan points out that the author of the original story was Transsexual, and ought to have known better than to imply The Mind Is a Plaything of the Body. Not to mention that sex changes are a thing.
• Butch Lesbian: Being an Evil Overlord, she's not terribly concerned with courting The Male Gaze.
• But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Used word-for-word.
  Minion: You Monster!! Two months ago you made me eat my own children!
  Diamanda Hagan: Oh. An important day for you, but for me it was Tuesday.
  Minion: And you steal dialogue!
• But Not Too Bi: The title character in Emmanuelle 4
  "You fucking cunt tease! You fuck every man in a 30-mile radius, please fuck at least one woman! Please!"
• Butt-Monkey: Diamanda the actress herself is often the butt of "Lolz, she's a really a man" jokes due to her unconventional appearance and deep voice, with one really nasty comment coming from Asalieri (the host of Reviewing a Reviewer) calling her "a thing".
• Call-Back: At the beginning of Eat the Schoolgirl, she states that she removed Oancitizen's balls because he obviously wasn't using them, and at the end says that she'll mail them back to him. It's almost exactly what happened at the end of his review of Ken Park.
• Calling Me a Logarithm: When she points out the weak insults of the Apocolypse movies.
  Diamanda: "Hater" is this films' idea of an anti-Christian slur. I would have gone with "Cissexual Gynophile" to encourage people looking up words they'd never heard of.
  • Which, ironically, isn't that much of an insult if you look it up (one who is satisfied with their gender and attracted to females).
• The Cameo:
  • Appeared in Allison Pregler's review of Hard to Kill. Her show itself has had such cameos as Allison aka Lupa, Nash, and Linkara (the last of which was lampshaded).
  Diamanda: So they strap the hostage to WAIT A SEC WAS THAT LINKARA?!
  • The Battle of the Bone review had cameos by The Omega, Welshy and Film Brain.
  • She appeared in The Nostalgia Chick's review of The Little Mermaid (1989), promoting violence against merfolk.
  • She appeared in The Rap Critic and Marc Mues' review of "Raise Up", where she was asked by Mues to take her shirt off.
  • Welshy had an extended cameo in the The Dragon Lives Again review pretending to be the guy who rules That Guy With The Glasses.
  • After Diamanda remarks how much an actor in Apocalypse looks like Spoony, there are cameos by Spoony, Dr. Insano and a Spoony clone, Christian Spoony.
  • Phelous and Nash appear in the Apocalypse 4: Judgment review. Nash plays Jesus.
  • Oancitizen appears a few times, including the Emmanuelle 5 and Aftermath/Thomas The Tank Engine And the Magic Railroad review, commenting on why he is not reviewing the film in question.
    • Diamanda in return appears in a few episodes of Kyle's show. Most notably, she was asked to bomb the city where Ken Park was set and shot.
  • Appeared in Hewy Toonmore's review of The Groovenians, admitting she delivered the show to him at Count Sigeeyai's request.
  • Appeared in Infamous Sphere's review of The Crying Game.
  • And of course, Diamanda makes a cameo in To Boldly Flee, not caring that the ham in her sandwhich became a human hand.
  • The Storyteller gets his appearance in the review of Megiddo. He holds his own against Diamanda surprisingly well and gains some genuine respect from her, but his closing attempt to convince her that perhaps they should be the best of enemies is gleefully trampled on by Hagan...
  • Last House on Dead End Stret has Hagan concluding "The '70s, a cat, porn, blackface... this house must belong to cult leader Brad Jones!". Cue Brad doing a voiceover full of The Cinema Snob Call Backs.
  • Appeared in The Cartoon Physicist's review of Hellraiser: Deader, explaining that Haganistanian trains are worse than the trains depicted in the movie and describing the consequences of making train tracks out of erected dicks.
  • Appeared on The Cartoon Physicist's Noughtie List again, specifically in her (late) second anniversary to talk about how crap Humma Kavula was as a villain.
  • Moviebob makes a cameo in her Remake review, pretending to do his own review of the movie as Gorybob, a snuff film reviewer.
• Casanova Wannabe: When a male character manages to inexplicably bed an attractive woman, she'll sometimes go out and try the same lines on a woman in real life and get her ass kicked except in the Faust review when it actually worked .
• Caustic Critic
• Censored for Comedy: Her review of Gay Niggers from Outer Space has her quickly shooting the censorship box, which results in random words, dirty or not, getting bleeped throughout.
• Censor Box: Deployed during the more explicit scenes in Ilsa and Emmanuelle 4. In Raspberry Reich the credits state they come from "The Censorship Box Company of Albania".
  • The ones used in the ''Heavy Metal" review with the Nostalgia Critic include the words "Pervy Goodness."
  • In her review of Chirpy, she is forced to censor-box the entire screen, leaving only the extremely suggestive audio. Diamanda notes that even though she might not technically need to censor cartoon pornography, she was doing it anyway because whatever her viewers were forced to imagine was going to be twice as traumatizing as what was actually happening.
• Chekhov's Gun: Or more exact Chekhov's hang glider in The Man from Hong Kong, which she calls at the beginning of the movie.
  • "Chekhov's Random as Fuck Ejection System" in The Virus.
  • "Chekhov's Random as Fuck Guy with Asperger's" in Project Million.
• Cluster F-Bomb: Several, but the one from the Twatty Who for "The Next Doctor" deserves special mention:
  Tenth Doctor: "Rosita"? Good name.
  Hagan:^note not a fan of Rosita's near-namesake Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou FUCK! YOU! ... Anyway, there aren't enough "fuck you"s in the universe for that, so on with the story.
• Comedic Sociopathy: Just one of many examples: forcing one of her minions to go down on her and then shooting it in the head afterward. She then points out that said act is less evil than anything God as portrayed in Left Behind is responsible for in the movie.
• Compensating for Something: Regards Thatcher's car in Turkey Shoot as the most phallic truck she's ever seen.
• Conditioned to Accept Horror: The citizens of Haganistan, especially the minions.
  • Diamanda herself, thanks to all of the disturbing movies she watches.
• Country Matters: One of her favourite words.
• Crawl: Parodied at the beginning of her review of Raspberry Reich with examples like "What happened to Apollo Z. Hack's eye anyway?", "Coldguy actually room temperature", and "Brad Tries...LordKat's semen? Probably not". The latter became Hilarious in Hindsight when Brad really did try a drink called "Semen". Though it wasn't from LordKat.
• Crazy Cultural Comparison: Used with abandon in The Knackery review, where Aleister claims that, in Northern Ireland, they feed thermite to babies, eat cars, and lick paint, that aspirin is a luxury, that television is illegal, that standing in a field is the equivalent of having a very nice office, and that they teach you to shoot before they teach you how to perform a bowel movement (which they have to be taught how to do because they're stupid).
• Crosscast Role: Aleister D. Homelessb'sterrd
• Crossover:
  • Reviewed 1930s exploitation movies while possessing the bodies of Oancitizen, Apollo Z. Hack, Cin Wicked and the Rap Critic.
    • Then Kyle, The Rap Critic, and JewWario, in Hagan versions, reviewed along with Diamanda The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996).
  • Twice with her Real Life wife The Omega, one of them being a review of The Taint, the other of Butch Jamie.
  • Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter with The Film Renegado.
  • Megiddo with The Storyteller.
  • Antichrist and Sailor and the 7 Ballz with Mr. Mendo.
  • Virus with Joshua the Anarchist.
  • The Troll Hunter with The Omega and Derek the Bard.
  • Zombeak with JewWario, and Eat the Schoolgirl with Oancitizen, both done at Magfest.
  • Bal-Sagoth with Happy Viking.
  • Heavy Metal with The Nostalgia Critic.
  • Sting: Moment of Truth with The Spoony One
  • Myra Breckinridge with The Cinema Snob.
  • Burlesque with Sound Bite.
  • Zsazsa Zaturnnah: Ze Moveeh with Linkara.
• Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Or rather, cut him a bigger check. When the opening narration states that the Umbrella corporation is the world's leading producer of computer and medical technology, Diamanda remarks that it makes no sense that most of their profits come from shady military and bioweapon research.
  Diamanda: Do you think that the makers of this have any concept of how much money is made in medical products, computer tech and healthcare? No? Well, neither do I, but it's sure to be a fuckload!
  • In Stonewall and Riot, she points out that the French Tickler's plan to use an orgasm ray to bring everyone in the city to orgasm so he can steal from them has the standard super villain problem that the equipment he uses to pull off the plan costs as much as he could steal.
• Damned by Faint Praise: Aleister, on The Knackery says "This was a movie. A movie that I watched."
• Dark Action Girl
• Dark and Troubled Past: In her The Truth About Demons review, she seems to remember that she was once Jem from Jem and the Holograms. On her YouTube channel, she is asked why she is dressing like "a Powerpuff Girl who someone assaulted".

  Diamanda: Maybe I am a Powerpuff Girl who got raped.

• Deadpan Snarker
• Department of Redundancy Department:
  • Comments that one of the villains in Turkey Shoot is a slimy bastard who she likes to call...a slimy bastard (with a caption on screen that reads: "slimy bastard: a bastard who is slimy").
  • In The Dead and the Dying, she says that Amber Benson is at her best when "playing lesbians, or women with Sapphic tendencies, or lesbians, or lesbians".
  • In Biggles: Adventures in Time she says "I'm gonna fucking kill you until you fucking die from it!"
• Disappointing Heritage Reveal: Her "Headcanon fodder" episode for Adam Adamant Lives! proposes that the reason Adamant is such a Quintessential British Gentleman is that he's actually from the Raj, born of a union between a British officer and an Indian mother and raised on stories that painted an idealized picture of Victorian society. When he actually went to London, the racist reality broke his faith in it, so he hid his heritage and became more dedicated to the ideals he'd been taught as a silent rebellion against the hypocrisy around him.
• Distaff Counterpart:
  • She's described herself as a female version of Harry S. Plinkett, and resembles a female version of Heath Ledger's Joker.
  • The types of movies she reviews make her sort of this to The Cinema Snob and Oancitizen. This was pointed out with regards to the former reviewer in their crossover review of Myra Breckinridge, which started with Snob and Hagan comparing notes on who reviewed the worst movie (and pointing out that they both reviewed Child Bride). Hagan won, by the way. With Chirpy.
• Distracted by the Sexy:
  • She's intrigued by a shot of the bouncing blonde escapee running from Turkey Shoot
  Diamanda: Ooh, sorry. Hypnotic boobs.
• Dissimile: She describes Emmanuelle 4 like Sex and the City, only with more sex and less city.
  • Later on she describes a scene in Film/Condorman as like the scene in True Lies when Jamie Lee Curtis strips. Except without Schwarzenegger, or stripping or Jamie Lee Curtis.
  Diamanda: "In fact it's a lot of not like that bit in True Lies."
• Does Not Like Men: In Project Million, she tortures LC and is shocked when he actually enjoys it.
• Dolled-Up Installment: Children of the Living Dead tries to pass itself off as a sequel to Night Of The Living Dead and Dawn of The Dead. Diamanda points out that this doesn't explain why the characters are so surprised when they encounter zombies.
• Do Wrong, Right: Whenever a character threatens to cut someone's balls off, she will always berate them for doing it wrong based on the idea that cutting off the balls still leaves the character with the ability to orgasm without having the desire to do so, while cutting off the penis instead leaves you with the desire to orgasm without the means to achieve it.
• The Dragon: She very likely hasn't been informed of this herself, but Critic (post comeback) seems to think she's his, threatening Smarty with her wrath because he hasn't been interested in the Zelda games.
• Drinking Game: Invents one for ''Turkey Shoot' that every time a character threatens, indicates or suggests they're going to rape someone, take a shot. "I guarantee by the film's end, you'll be blind." This turns into a Running Joke for her later reviews.
  • JewWario calls her out on it during the Zombeak review, years after the joke began.
• Dude, Not Funny!: In-Universe, her and Linkara point out that Zsazsa Zaturrnah, for all of its progressiveness in showing a transgender superhero and how cruelly the world treats her, uses an awful lot of slurs and jokes at the expense of its gay and transgender characters (although that might be partially the fault of the subtitles).
• Dystopia: Haganistan is heavily implied to be one of these.
  • There's even a La Résistance which was, unfortunately, Too Dumb to Live
  • Hagan herself maintains that the rest of the population is quite happy, and that only the minions are abused
• Eiffel Tower Effect:
  • Irritated by its application in The Man from Hong Kong, particularly as Sydney Opera House is ten miles away from the nearest airport.
    Diamanda: I believe you filmed where you filmed, I don't need it proven by pointless shots of landmarks!
  • This comes under fire again during her Left Behind review after a caption states "Jerusalem".
    Diamanda: Yes, whenever I hear that generic Middle Eastern music and I see the massive gigantic golden tit that is the Dome of the Rock I think to myself, "Hmm, perhaps we're in Strasbourg!"
  • Comments that the title character in Condorman jumps off the actual Eiffel Tower into the Seine river without being arrested.
• Even Evil Has Standards:
  • During her Left Behind review, she says that even she is less evil than God in the Left Behind series. Because the worst she'll do is shoot you while you go down on her.
    • 'God of this movie...when you're 'out-moraled' by me...you're fucked-up!'
  • She also calls out Christians who believe in the Rapture about owning pets, since they could be scooped up by God at any given moment, leaving their pets behind to starve to death.
  • She further extends this logic by calling out Christians who get driving and piloting licenses since they could be raptured while driving a car or piloting a plane, leaving their unattended vehicle to kill unraptured people.
  • She makes a similar argument for why she is a vastly more benevolent deity than the God in the Apocalypse films, as she at least doesn't allow people to be mind-controlled by the Antichrist into accepting his mark, thereby damning them to Hell.
  • In her crossover review of Eat the Schoolgirl with Oancitizen she states that she's evil, but not racist. At the end of the review and after Kyle stops being insane, she remarks that "it would be dickish to kill someone for something they don't remember doing".
  • She's disgusted that a character in Ilsa: She-wolf of the SS - more than that, the doctor assisting the titular Ilsa - was deliberately made to look like Dr Magnus Hirschfield. She even gets on an actual soap box to rant about how Hirschfield fought for equal rights for gay, lesbian and transgender people, and how his efforts would be undone by the Nazis. "And this is the guy you base your evil doctor's assistant on. FUCK YOU!!!"
    • Actually, she's pretty disgusted with Ilsa in general...not so much because she's evil ("When you're out-cunted by me, you're a little bitch.") but because of how bloody annoying she is.
  • It says something when even Diamanda is freaked out by the imagery in Where the Dead Go to Die.
  • In her review of The Cuckoo Clocks of Hell (Schizophreniac 3), as she shows a scene of the ghost of John Wayne Gacy telling Harry Russo to follow the N*gg*r Brick Road, she asks "Why exactly is it called the African-American Brick Road?!" One of her minions then tells her that the censorship device has been fixed for ages, and also tries to tell her that she can say the N-word, only to be shot dead by Hagan before he completes saying the racial slur. She then tells the minion, "Don't be racist!"
• Eviler than Thou: Josh the Anarchist dares Diamanda to a crazy-off. Diamanda handily wins.
• Evil, Inc.: She calls the company from Memory Run Genericorp.
  Diamanda: They sell things like...fascism...and...crack...to...leprechauns...I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention.
• Evil Is Bigger: She's 6'2 (1,85 m)... and yet rarely seen standing next to other people. (for instance, in her crossover with The Cinema Snob it's clear she's One Head Taller than Brad)
  'I am not short! You're just Richard Kiel!
• Evil Overlord: Hagan is one, and she knows about the...
• Evil Overlord List: A lot of her actions show that she knows the flaws of other overlords before her.
• Evil Versus Evil: How she sees the conflict between the God of the 4 Apocalypse movies, who she feels is a dick, and Satan.
  Diamanda: These movies are about two opposing forces of omni-dickery. That wouldn't be so bad if we weren't supposed to think one of them was GOOD!
• Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Due to his Wolverine Claws, she describes the main character in Faust: Love of the Damned as Techno-Wolverine, with a caption explaining it as "like Wolverine, but more techno".
• Expy: The characters in Harry Potter are so similar to their predecessors in The Worst Witch, she simply gives up remembering their actual names and refers to them a as Snape, Dumbledore, Draco, etc... The exception being that there is no Harry; the main character resembling Ron.
• Extreme Omnisexual: Alistair has a Long-Distance Relationship with his boyfriend Basil. That doesn't stop either one of them from perusing other men, women, or mannequins. And then there was the Equus Review:
  "My Little Pony, My Little Pony, Ahhhhhhhhhh."
• Faceless Mooks: The Minions.
• Fetish Retardant: invoked At first, she seems interested in a lesbian with a shaved head in her review of Preaching To The Perverted. Then she learns that she was played by Julia Graham, who also played Elizabeth Magwilde in Bonekickers, the one character she hates most out of the entire series.
• Fighting Irish: Hagan hails from Stroke Country.
• Friend to All Children: In Real Life, she's an aunt and loves to spoil her nieces and nephews.
• Fun with Subtitles: Since most of the characters in Battle of the Bone are mostly unintelligible, she uses subtitles whenever someone who's Northern Irish, aside from herself, speaks. For example, the one English actress gets no subtitles, but everyone else in the film does, as well as one sap on the street, even for lines that are perfectly clear.
  • While Northern Irish by citizenship, Hagan's actually of Scottish descent. Her accent's...somewhere in between.
• Girl on Girl Is Hot:
  • She's notably disappointed when a lesbian scene is cut short in Turkey Shoot.
  Diamanda: I wanted to see naked lesbian crossbow rape!
  • Similarly she's dismayed that any time there appears there's about to be a lesbian scene in Emmanuelle 4 nothing happens.
  Diamanda: You fucking cunt tease! You fuck every man in a thirty metre radius, please fuck at least one woman! Please!
  • Tries using her 'godly' powers to turn Intermedio into 90 minutes of Alyson Hannigan having sex with every single woman she finds attractive in order of attractiveness. Sadly for her, this doesn't work. She also kills a man because Amber Benson's character in the movie doesn't do anything remotely lesbonic.
• God-Emperor: Hagan views herself as one. Her full self-proclaimed title, "Diamanda Hagan, God-Empress of the Great Nation of Haganistan, V.G.C, S.S.I., N.D.C., Mistress of all the Peoples of the Earth (Whether Recognized Or Not), Owner of Every Shark in the Sea and Tiger on Land, and Tiger at Sea Should Such a Thing Ever Be Observed, Conqueror of the World in General and Haganistan in Particular", directly parodies that used by Idi Amin.
• God Is Inept:
  • In her review of the Urban Gothic episode "Lacuna", she interprets the Bedlam House to be a rather heavy-handed metaphor for purgatory and an inept,doddering old hippie to be a rather absent-minded God.
• Godwin's Law: The Heteronormative Crusader villain from Preaching to the Perverted, while being fascinated by the very pornography he's supposed to be fighting against.
  Henry Harding MP: You know, Himmler always got sick visiting the camps... but he always forced himself to go on.
  Hagan: Has that guy just Godwined the film?
• Groin Attack: Once ordered a minion to mail his own testicles to Kyle Kallgren.
• Halfway Plot Switch: Gwendoline has an unusual shift from adventure to porn. She even remarks that the Genre Shift in From Dusk Till Dawn has nothing on this one.
• Happiness in Slavery: The minions.
• Hilarious Outtakes: Hagan Flubs showcases outtakes and alternative takes from her reviews.
• Honor Before Reason: Aleister refuses to say the word "whore" at auditions, even if it costs him a role. Since said audition was for the lead role in Schizophreniac The Whore Mangler though...
• Hypocritical Humour: She does this all the time to illustrate a point. Very well, usually.
  • Used in her review of Gwendoline. While she remarks about the sudden genre shift the viewers aren't meant to notice, for the rest of the review she sports a different outfit, make up and hair color than before. When criticising the random editing of a scene, it then randomly cuts to Teddy the Minion before cutting back to Hagan.
• If It's You, It's Okay: Even Diamanda couldn't resist the appeal of Oliver Reed with facial hair in Oancitizen's review of The Devils. Oancitizen is terrified by that.
  Diamanda: [when asked how she feels about penises]Oh, I have a bonfire of those every Thursday. Disgusting slimy little things with their eel-like length and [Oancitizen shows her a picture of Oliver Reed] how can you stand having one of those attached to your...[she gasps and swoons in delight]
  Minion: Mistress, are you okay?
  Diamanda:[ecstatically, from off-camera on the floor] OLIVER REED!
  Oancitizen: [stares at the picture in horror] I must only use this power for good.
• Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Comments that in Turkey Shoot not even the automatic guns can shoot straight.
• Insane Troll Logic: Deployed in Aleister's "History of LBGT People" video, where he acts out a scene depicting how Victorians believed that female sexuality and lesbianism didn't exist;
  Aleister: Are you sure you don't exist, Ms. Licksalot?
  Ms. Licksalot: Umm... yes.
  Aleister: It's just that I could've sworn I saw you perform cunnilingus on that woman.
  Ms. Licksalot: If lesbians don't exist, then I can't be performing cunnilingus, because lesbianism doesn't exist. So therefore I can't have done the act, because I don't exist!
  Aleister: ...You win this round.
• I Take Offense to That Last One: Alistair loses yet another job for refusing to do something minorly inconvenient for an otherwise taxing and/or bizarre role.
  Casting Director: You'll need to shave off your moustache, go on hormones to grow breasts, have them removed, have a vaginoplasty, get some tatoos, and be okay with being naked and fucking people on screen.
  Alistair : I'm not shaving off my moustache!
• Karma Houdini: Welshy trolls Hagan pretty hard by pretending to be the overlord of Channel Awesome. He gets away with it because she isn't sure whether he may or may not be for real^note He clearly bribed her minion to put that doubt in her mind and she can't nuke Wales as a whole because of a dominatrix she once dated there.
• Lantern Jaw of Justice: Well, not so much the justice part.
• Large Ham: But she does it so well. So much that when she possesses other people, it can get nasty.
• Leitmotif During field-tests, an uptempo version of "Gonk," done on guitar and xylophone, plays in the background.
• Le Parkour: It is demonstrated in the Battle of the Bone review that the average Northern Irishman in fact can't naturally perform Parkour.
• Let's See YOU Do Better!: Inverted in her "Where the Dead go to Die" review, where she complains about the cgi characters accidentally merging together when they hug. She feels rendering like that is basic and should be fixed, especially when so much weird and truly disturbing material get's more focus, before realizing if she could animate, she'd focus on the surreal material and disregard everything else.
• Lightning Can Do Anything:
  • Specifically, being struck by lightning sends you to 1917. Even when you're indoors!
  • The lightning from Chopping Mall, which seemed to make the robots of the movie come to life, and more obviously evil.
• Light Is Not Good: The alternate versions of the minions are the douchey abusers instead of Hagan (who is called Nina Galas), and they wear white masks.
• Loveable Sex Maniac: The Doctor Minion, Hagan's Minion physician. He OOZES repressed sexual desire. And he's willing to sate it on dead Minions, too...
• Malaproper: Has a tendency to do this with the names of other reviewers, such as "Jeweegie" and "Rape Critic".
• The Main Characters Do Everything: As she repeatedly points out in the Genesis 7 reviews, the fictional space agency keeps sending the only guy who understands how any of their technology works (it somehow replicates the effects of modern technology despite not running on godless "physics") on dangerous away missions he's obviously unqualified for.
• Mama Bear: On the "Your Reviews" sections of the TGWTG forums, she will often encourage and give helpful advice to those struggling to find a voice. When anyone starts heavily criticizing those people or her colleagues, she will come down on them hard.
• Manchild: Aleister
  '''Helen Hannah''': Professionals built the Titanic; amateurs built the Ark.
  Aleister [under a pile of couch cushions]: I built a fort!
• Man, I Feel Like a Woman: While possessing Oancitizen, she checks to see if he's not a woman.
  Hagancitizen: "Most definitely not a woman... so that's what one of those things feel like."
  • She checks again after possessing Cin Wicked, then comments on how he's close enough.
• Massively Multiplayer Crossover: Was the main antagonist in Project Million.
• Meaningful Name: Irish musician Diamanda Galás and German actress Nina Hagen were major influences on the character's behavior.
• Memetic Badass: She builds the protagonist of Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky as one. invoked
  • Her reviews of Adam Adamant episodes cement the protagonist as one, despite the Once per Episode turning his back to a clearly evil woman who then knocks him unconscious. His constantly defeating gun-wielding thugs with a sword and dramatic flair helps a lot.
  Diamanda: That guy made the mistake of bringing a gun to an Adam Adamant fight.
• Missing Steps Plan: The "revolution" in Raspberry Reich that involves having sex in public. She even plays the underpants gnome song.
• Monster Clown:
  • She dresses like a Distaff Counterpart to Marilyn Manson.
  • In his Hairspray review, Gomer The Ranting Thespian refers to her as an "insane Kefka ripoff".
• Mooks/Red Shirts: The minions.
• Mysterious Past: It's strongly hinted in the The Truth About Demons review that Hagan was once Jerrica from Jem. In her Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas review, it is confirmed that she was Jerrica, Sarsaparilla The Weed Witch was Kimber, and The Rap Critic was Aja.
  • She is credited as Jerrica Benton in the end credits of To Boldly Flee.^note After requesting to take off her real name. Alter-Ego Acting is Serious Business.
• Named After Somebody Famous: She named herself after Diamanda Galás and Nina Hagen. [1]. Another character played by her is called Nina Galas.
• A Nazi by Any Other Name: Franco Macaluso's forces in the Apocalypse Review
  Remember I promised blatant and unsubtle Holocaust imagery? Well, here ya go! Big as life and twice as insulting! You know who else put people in cattle trucks? The people who made Schindler's List!
• Neutral Female: During one of the penultimate fight scenes in Turkey Shoot, Hagan remarks that while The Hero and The Dragon are fighting, the Damsel in Distress is sitting on the sidelines while she could easily flank on the bad guy or even just run away. Given that the baddies are set on killing and/or raping the heroes, there's absolutely no point in waiting around to see who will win. Subverted when the heroine sneaks up on the bad guy and cuts his hand off with a machete.
• Nightmare Fetishist: She seems to get turned on by...strange....things
• No Indoor Voice: Whenever she gets worked up - which given the quality of most of the films she reviews, is often.
• Noodle Incident: "...you have to do it, because of the reason."
  • Her occasionally referenced but never explained prior relationship with a dominatrix
• "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: Often.
  • Has captions to advise that she did not add the dramatic sting during Ilsa when the title character is menacingly stroking an enormous dildo.
  • There's a caption during the Left Behind review to stress that a padding scene of the main character looking over a balcony is this length in the actual movie.
  • She also says she isn't kidding that Kirk Cameron and his wife are contractually obligated to only have kissing scenes with each other, and even shows footage from several films to demonstrate this.
  • Uses a caption saying "As originally edited" numerous times in her review of Intermedio.
  • During the Benny Hill-worthy chase scene in Gwendoline, she states that the only change she made to the scene was adding "Yakety Sax".
  • The review of Gayniggers From Outer Space features an "I DID NOT ADD THIS MUSIC" disclaimer on a scene which features the theme from S.W.A.T. (1975).
• Not That There's Anything Wrong with That: Mae West's last film, Sextette, she makes repeated jokes about how the leading lady is obviously in her eighties and trying to look four decades younger. Near the end, she clarifies that there's nothing wrong with finding an eighty-year-old woman attractive, it's just a lot less common than the movie portrays it.
• Nuke 'em: In a crossover appearance on Brows Held High, Hagan nukes every city called Visalia on the planet. This is because Ken Park was set in Visalia. And Hagan couldn't be bothered to remember which city Oancitizen wanted nuked.
• N-Word Privileges: Parodied in her review of Gay Niggers From Outer Space. She gives a big speech on how bleeping the one in the title would just seem trite and hypocritical. Of course, the censorship equipment seems to be broken, as the word "space" is also bleeped.
• Obviously Evil: Says that Nicolae Carpathia of Left Behind is the most obvious villain name since Darkheart Rapesbabies.
• Odd Friendship:
  • With the Storyteller of Indy Christian Review, the most diametrically opposed reviewer there is. Apparently the two are actually good friends in real life too.
  • Linkara, too. If her blasphemy were gallons of petrol, she'd be able to solely supply all of Northern Ireland. Linkara's a Christian too, and has done cameos, bit parts and even a full crossover with her. It helps that, politically, they're far closer together. Hagan's said on YouTube that she'd like to do a possession review with him, but he's extremely busy.
• Offscreen Moment of Awesome: She has this reaction in the review of Turkey Shoot to the death of the blonde prisoner to the crossbow wielder which happens offscreen.
  Diamanda: (distraught) I wanted to see the naked lesbian crossbow rape!!!
• Offscreen Inertia: The beginning of The Worst Witch review reveals that Hagan and the people holding guns on her really were standing there for the month since the previous episode.
• Oh, No... Not Again!: On April Fools' Day 2012, she continues to possess people, getting forced into the bodies of Stephan and Charlie.
• Only Sane Man: Mativo in Roar is literally this according to Hagan, since he's the only person in the film that insists on treating wild animals as wild animals rather than big house cats. She then notes that his actor was also one of the few to avoid the big cats, and by complete coincidence was also one of the few cast members not to get mauled by them.
• Only Six Faces: She points out that all the actresses in Left Behind 3 are very similar-looking blonde women, with only slightly different hairstyles to tell them apart.
• Overly Narrow Superlative: Averted when she says that Zombeak is the worst zombie chicken movie ever made. There actually is another one of those, and it is awesome.
• Out with a Bang: She killed one of her minions while they were going down on her.
• Perverse Sexual Lust: Has a major thing for MarzGurl. At one point, Linkara joins in during a cameo.
• Pet the Dog: In BMX Bandits, she doesn't punish Critic for calling her out on something because he's too "damn adorable". Though she trolls him into a Doug breakdown later because he's also fun to manipulate.
• Politically Incorrect Villain:
  • Harry Russo in Necromaniac; he goes beyond his typical He-Man Woman Hater status established in Schitzopheniac and goes on Mel Gibson-like rants about Black and Jewish people. Hagan isn't impressed.
  • A Defied Trope with Hagan herself.
• Postmodernism: At times Diamanda has the on-camera performance, voiceover, and writer\editor arguing about the episode they're filming.
• Psycho Lesbian: A major source of fetish fuel for her. Crazy, Abusively Sexy, hot womenfolk are measured by Rule of Cool and Rule of Sexy, often times regardless of Unfortunate Implications.
  • After her Turkey Shoot review, she has a salute to the "crazy, aggressive, rapist, predatory, crossbow-obsessed lady". She also refers to this type of character as a 'dyke icon' or Dykon.
  • The Feministsas in Zsazsa Zaturnnah as well.
  • The Androdyke Brigade in The Genderfellator who want to force everyone in the world to become Butch Lesbians:
    Diamanda: A lesbian fascist police force working for a lesbian fascist state. I seriously don't know If I should be turned on or not.
• Pungeon Master: As you can tell from earlier, she likes to include at least one terrible pun in her reviews.
• Rape as Drama: "Take a shot" turns up way more than one expects it, even in Christian Movies, involving children.
• Real Men Wear Pink: Her Sextette review has a running gag of a stereotypical raging sports fan (played by Doug Walker) getting just as excited about coverage of a celebrity wedding.
• Reel Torture: While Diamanda isn't above actual torture and murder, she tends to force her fellow internet reviewers to watch bad movies as a form of torture, either anonymously or as part of a Crossover review.
• Recursive Canon: She does a review of Project Million and doesn't realise that she — or at least a version of herself — was in it. When they say her name she thinks the movie is talking to her, and when Aleister appears he doesn't seem to realise he was in it either.
• Remember the New Guy?: Her complaint about the president in Left Behind 3, who was not in the previous two movies, but is treated as if he was.
• The Rival: The Cartoon Hero.
• Rousing Speech: The mediocre one in Vikingdom is replaced by a supercut of much better ones, ranging from Independence Day and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King to Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech. She and Happy Viking are in tears after it.
• Running Gag:
  • Having a minion do the "Dance of Exposition" to the tune of Jean-Marc Dompierre's "El Bimbo" (specifically the version from Police Academy) whenever characters in a movie perform an Infodump.
  • Diamanda Hagan telling the audience to take a shot whenever a rape is committed, attempted or implied in a movie.
  • Audio of the Atop the Fourth Wall theme-song playing as a form of Reel Torture for characters in the movie.
  • In the Vegas in Space review, comparing the movie's (very cheap) effects favourably to those of Actium Maximus, War of the Alien Dinosaurs.
• Sarcastic Clapping: A 45-second long montage of clapping when a character has a breakdown in Chopping Mall.
• The Scrappy: In-Universe she starts off her Twatty Who Reviews in a Cold Open, showing a character acting annoying in a short scene, and before the credits she declares that she's going to hate this character.
  • The first outright exception was the review of "The Underwater Menace", which had a clip of the villain proclaiming Nothing Can Stop Us Now! in a glorious Ham and Cheese manner, and Hagan says she's going to fucking love him.
• Screw Yourself:
  • Oancitizen, Rap Critic, and JewWario decide to have a threesome while simultaneously possessed by Hagan's temporally-displaced psyche. They conclude that it's overrated.
  • On-camera Hagan at one point yells "screw you!" to voiceover Hagan, who says it be too close to masturbation.
  • At one point she tries to rape Aleister, which backfires.
• Self-Deprecation:
  • Will insult her home country once in a while. This became a Running Gag in the review for Battle of the Bone.
  • She spends a good portion of her Project Million review panning an early, lower budget version of herself.
  • From the Bonekickers reviews: "Fucking Northern Ireland!"
• Self-Punishment Over Failure: Diamanda always orders her minions to obey her. When she disagrees she tortures or shoots them, or lets them provoke agony on themselves as a matter of punishment.
• Shared Universe: Due to multiple crossovers and cameos, and eventually the show's inclusion on Channel Awesome, it is definitely part of the Reviewaverse.
• Shirtless Scene: A minion has one in the The Dragon Lives Again review. The same shirtless minion has appeared multiple times in her reviews since, and according to the Flubs has his own fandom.
• Shoot the Messenger: Any minion bringing her news or updates has a fairly high chance of being killed, regardless of the news being good or bad.
• Shown Their Work: Whenever Hagan gets to talking about religion in detail stands out as having research and genuine enthusiasm behind it. For example, when in the second Left Behind film a world-famous Jewish expert on religion announces that Jesus was indeed the Messiah Jews were waiting for, Hagan goes into a detailed explanation about how Jesus does not fit the Jewish criteria for the prophesied Messiah.
• The Sociopath: Hoo, boy, is she ever!
• Sole Entertainment Option: Played for Laughs on Children of the Living Dead.
• Sound-Effect Bleep:
  • Whenever she's cursing out the filmmakers of Ilsa, most of it is bleeped. Subverted when afterward she says fuck without being censored.
  • During the review of Gayniggers from Outer Space, it starts with just bleeping out the obvious slur. However, once Hagan shoots the bleep machine, it starts bleeping more things. Like "Space".
• Soundtrack Dissonance: During a flogging scene in Ilsa she says it needs Devo and she starts to play Whip It Later when a character is being buried she plays Working in a Coalmine. To complete the trilogy, when the American spy is snooping around she plays Secret Agent Man
  • She sets an overly long fight scene in The Man from Hong Kong to Yakety Sax.
  • The "Feel free to commit suicide" segment of the Intermedio review.
  • Whip It returns with the review of The Passion of The Christ. When someone in the audience points points out that it's offensive, she concurs and apologizes for misgendering Jesus, saying to mentally replace "it" with "him".
• Special Effect Failure:invoked A particularly bad head-smashing scene in Schizophreniac the Whore Mangler causes her to burst out laughing.
• Spiritual Antithesis: Argues that Vijayendra Varma: Power of an Indian is one to International Guerillas. Both are over the top violent nonsense about radical Islamic terrorism (albeit on opposite sides) with protagonists so jingoistic it borders on parody. However, whereas International Guerrillas portrays its side as universally good and any non-Muslims (or even Muslims that don't approve of their actions) as evil by nature, Vijayendra Varma refuses to vilify Islam, with the hero stopping a police officer from harming innocent Muslims and later naming religious diversity as one of the many things that makes India great.
• Spiritual Successor: For her, Manborg is one for Mortal Kombat. Manborg himself is Kano, Justice is Johnny Cage, Number One Man is Liu Kang, and Mina is Sonya Blade. For her, it also makes a more faithful TRON sequel than TRON: Legacy.
• Stable Time Loop: Her review of Children of the Living Dead.
• Stage Name: Comes from Diamanda Galas and Nina Hagan. Given the effort she appears to have gone to in concealing her real name, we won't post it here.
• Stalking is Love: After viewing a stalkee and stalker having sex in Raspberry Reich she tries another field test (see family unfriendly aesop) of this in real life, with poorer results.
• The Starscream: Views "Adam Ant" looking guy as this in Rats, to the extent that she redubs him and the leader of the group's dialogue with a lot of the exchanges between Megatron and Starscream.
  • Teddy. Actually Lord Ted, from Another Dimension.
    • Both of them, actually. Hagan possesses herself back in time, and decides to get prevenge on him by breaking his leg. This leads to his original betrayal that gets him killed, as well as his second attempt as a skull. Then she brings him back, because she gave her word, and gives him his old job back.
• Sting: Uses the dramatic sting from Flash Gordon, usually to mock this trope.
  • Parodied when her Dun-Dun-Dun Minion gets over-zealous with the dramatic stings in her Starrbooty review. She ultimately ends up stabbing him.
• Stock Footage:
  Diamanda: "Ed Wood would be so proud!"
• Stupid Sexy Flanders: "70s porn star" Elliott Gould.
• Stylistic Suck: Has a music video set to the theme song from Man from Hong Kong consisting of her miming to it while the minions play instruments from Rock Band and lots of Idiosyncratic Wipes.
• Surrounded by Idiots: This pretty much sums up Diamanda's relationship with the Minions. That and the random killings.
  • According the 100th episode many of her minions are competent professionals, it's just the staff of her compound that are idiots. Hey, when you're a god personal security isn't all that important.
• Take That!:
  • During her Left Behind review, she takes numerous shots at Kirk Cameron - from his lack of a career since the nineties to several shots at the bananas debunking evolution video
  • Describes Magwilde from Bone Kickers as Ann Coulter if she studied archaeology instead of wing-nuttery.
  • Fox News in general is a favourite target.
  • As is Matthew Graham, lead writer of Bone Kickers and the man who wrote "Fear Her".
  Diamanda:...thus cementing him in "Hagan's List of People She Wouldn't Let the Minions Piss On If They Were On Fire!"
  • States that the fascist villain named Thatcher in Turkey Shoot still manages to be more cuddly than Margaret Thatcher.
  • Throughout her review of Condor Man several jokes are made about Oliver Reed's drinking.
  • After witnessing Jimmy Wang Yu's "interrogation" technique in The Man from Hong Kong, Hagan quips she thinks he must have worked for the US forces in Iraq.
  • In one review of Bone Kickers, she explains that Parton decided to piss off the French by bringing British wine along, and says 'Yes, that really does exist." Cut to a photo of bottles of wine, all with 'Cheap [Wine type] Wine' on the label, accompanied by 'Rule Brittania'.
  • She closes her review of The Worst Witch by calling it the best Harry Potter film ever made...and, as if anticipating the viewer's response, stands back and allows people offscreen to throw eggs at her.
  • She makes a few shots at Donald Trump in the animated version of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, comparing him to Fantastic Racist Edmund. When they choose Lucy over Edward, she notes that at least in fantasy a much more sensible female choice can beat out a lying cunt....which then turns into a more generalized Take That! against society when she realizes that joke will probably be topical for a long, long time.
  • When one of the terrorists from Mercury Man takes a child from his crying mother, Linkara says that he misses the days when cartoonishly evil villains didn't remind him of the US government. They later try to guess what faction the nameless terrorists are from, and he guesses the Republican Party.
  • Take That Us: While reviewing Project Million, a film she starred in, Hagan not only fails to recognize herself, but consistently mocks her acting ability, androgynous build, and choice of makeup.
• Tempting Fate: Anytime she says she thinks Bone Kickers can't get any more stupid, it manages to top itself.
• Testosterone Poisoning: The guy Doug plays in the Sextette review. By the end his eye is twitching from all the manliness.
• The Dog Bites Back: In the Eat The Schoolgirl review, Diamanda drugs Oancitizen with horse tranquilisers and removes his testicles in order to force him to review the movie with her. Unfortunately, this eventually leads to him going insane trying to analyse the movie and tying up Diamanda in the bathroom, dressing her up as a snail and trying to kill her with an iron.
  • JewWario eventually got fed up with her harassment and threw her out of his hotel room Uncle Phil style at the end of the Zombeak review.
• Theme Naming: Diamanda takes her name from musicians Diamanda Galás and Nina Hagen. For her AU counterpart Nina, the names are swapped around.
  • Continuing the theme, her middle names are "Grace Jones"...yes, she is Diamanda Grace Jones Hagan.
• There Was a Door: She uses almost these exact words during her review of the first Resident Evil film when the commandos burst through the windows.
• This Is Gonna Suck: Her reaction to reviewing Intermedio, not just due to it being a bad film but because it stars Amber Benson, one of her favorite actresses.
• Those Wacky Nazis: She reviewed Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS. She later reviewed The Black Gestapo, a hybrid between Nazisploitation and Blaxploitation
  • Whenever she declares the names of these movies, her arm goes up into a Nazi salute, and the other arm grabs it and holds it down.
• Too Dumb to Live: The blond prisoner from Turkey Shoot decides when being chased by makeup woman to take a swim.
  Diamanda: Yes, for we lesbians are afraid of water. It's in the Bible, look it up.
  • The minions count as well.
  "You can have tomorrow off if you shoot yourself in the head!"
• Too Happy to Live: The beginning of Memory Run
  Diamanda: We cut to a family. A happy family. A happy nuclear family. Surrounding a child in a bed no less. This cannot end well.
• True Love Is a Kink: During the Preaching to the Perverted review, it is implied that she shares Tanya's desire to find and marry her one true love. Justified, as Hagan claims that the film is based on true events, with her being the inspiration for Tanya Cheex.
• Twofer Token Minority: Channel Awesome's first openly gay (If not LGBT) and Northern-Irish member.
  • She stated on Twitter that she's "more than two minorities", but didn't elaborate to keep up the mystery. Later added it's "at least four or five"
    • One of the minority factors might be that she's of Scottish descent; another that she was raised in accordance with the teachings of the Bahá'í faith, which she has left behind later in life.
• Weaksauce Weakness: As Robert Million discovered The theme from Barney & Friends makes her fall asleep.
• We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties: Occurs during the review of Memory Run after it's revealed that Celeste, the male protagonist's brain in a female body is pregnant with his child.
• We Have Reserves: Played for laughs, Diamanda is willing to kill her minions for messing up any task and the only time she held back her urge to murder a minion was when she only had one minion... and when more minions are cloned at the end she kills the first new minion to be successfully cloned
• What the Hell, Hero?:
  • She consistently points out how much of an arsehole the leader in RATS: Night of Terror is, since he set one of his men on fire.
  • She also calls out God as portrayed in Left Behind and the Apocalypse series.
• Who Writes This Crap?!: In the "Apocalypse 3: Tribulation" review, Hagan complains about the jokes, so she has the writer (portrayed by herself) beaten. She then has no clue what to say, so she does a little dance and mumbles through a bit of the film until she brings the writer back.
• Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: She's irked in Turkey Shoot that Thatcher doesn't just kill one of the prisoners because he decides it would be "too easy".
  Diamanda: Where the fuck did you learn the craft of villainy? Doctor Evil University?
• World of Weirdness: It's set in the Reviewaverse, of course its world is weird. And it demonstrates this by having the protagonist be an immortal super villain (capable of possessing people/time traveling while dead à la Quantum Leap before returning to her body and resurrecting herself) who used to be a pop star from a 1980s cartoon and has her own country in the middle of Central Asia populated by masked clone minions, while occasionally encountering superheroes (eg: Squirrel Girl), alternate dimension counterparts, and the personification of decent humour (which she killed with Lantern rings). This universe is definitely weird.
• Villain Protagonist
• Visible Boom Mic: When it appears in frame during Memory Run she plays the Final Fantasy victory theme. She then proceeds to make out with what appears to be a bust of Shiva.
  Diamanda: I'm sorry. Every time I see a boom-mic, I have to do that. That's why the audio quality of my videos is so bad.
• X Meets Y: invokedShe describes the Licker as a love-child between Gene Simmons and a Xenomorph.
• You Keep Using That Word: She fervently believes that "castrate" can also refer to emasculation, to the point where when a minion calls her out on it, she offs him before ordering that the word be redefined in dictionaries to refer to both.

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