Web Video / The Cartoon Physicist

"Where will we be in the year 2000?"

— Die Toten Hosen

The Cartoon Physicist, aka Lauren Fox, is a media reviewer hailing from Australia. Her main show, The Cartoon Physicist's Noughtie List, covers television and movies created from 2000 to 2009, aka the bulk of her childhood. One could say it's a ''critique'' of her ''nostalgia''. The series is currently posted to Manic Expression, RT Gomer Productions, League Swordfish, Team Night Saturn, The Reviewers Unite, Channel Zero, her website, and of course her youtube channel

Her videos also contain a recurring but unobtrusive storyline with references made to her previous in-universe exploits. Further information can be found on her blog.

Lauren herself also runs a Podcast with her friends called Schlock & Terror: A Retrospective of Video Nasties.

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The Cartoon Physicist contains examples of:

• Accentuate the Negative: Definitely when it comes to bad films and TV shows. Although she does try to find one good thing in a bad show or movie to talk about, even if small.
• Adaptation Decay: Physicist much prefers the original Disney Chicken Little short from 1943 as opposed to the 2005 animated feature.
  • She utterly despises the movie adaptation of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
• Affectionate Nickname: Physicist calls Nyarlathotep "Gnarly".
  • Most people, including Nyarlathotep, have called her "Phys" (Pronounced as "Fizz").
• Allergic to Routine: She started doing a review show because she was worried that her daily adventures would end up becoming a boring routine
• All There in the Manual: Information from the mostly-in-character Tumblr blog reveals more of the backstory for the character of the Cartoon Physicist, including why she decided to start doing video reviews.
• Ancient Egypt:
  • Physicist wears a golden amulet that looks like it came from ancient Egypt.
  • Nyarlathotep wears a gold Egyptian-looking mask.
• Angels, Devils and Squid: She stole Gabriel's Horn from Angels, Hell is the location of The Weinstein Company HQ, and Lovecraftian Outers Gods like Nyarlathotep exist in the show.
• Anti-Magic: The mallet is this. Sort of. It doesn't nullify Physicist's powers, it nullifies other power sources like magic or The Force to keep her from obtaining and using them since it's "jealous" of them.
• Anti-Role Model: Not this way to force any Aesops down any throats, just merely part of her character. But it's obvious that this Chaotic Neutral thief is not meant to be imitated.
• Anvil on Head: Ted Turner briefly mentioned how Physicist used to drop anvils on him, and so he brought a high tech umbrella to protect him from any more anvils. It didn't protect him from the piano though.
• Art Evolution: By 2016, she finally has an up-to-date HD video camera. The in-universe reason for the sudden change of quality is that Cambot got an upgrade for the revival of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
• Artifact of Doom:
  • Physicist owns the Shining Trapezohedron, which can summon Nyarlathotep.
  • Hestia mentions that Physicist also owns Pandora's Box.
  • Physicist herself mentions that she owns the Necronomicon.
  • Physicist was stuck with the Lament Configuration, which appeared on her doorstep at the beginning of her first Halloween review of 2016. Until she sent it to Crash Thompson.
• Ascended Fangirl: Like most reviewers, she was a fan of a lot of reviewers before deciding to do a review show herself.
• Author Appeal: Physicist has to be stopped from making too many Atomic Robo references.
• Bait-and-Switch: In her review of The Tick, she starts off the review by saying she is going to review the animated version, before Hestia informs her that the animated version aired in the 90's and not the 2000's so she's going to have to review the 2001 live action version.
• Big Brother Is Watching:
  The Cyberspace Trinity: We...are...always...watching.
• Blob Monster: Mr Whipplesworth, though he's smaller than the average shoggoth and therefore quite harmless.
• Borrowed Catchphrase: Sort of. She used her very own 'Of Course!' clip in her Dino Squad review, with Bane from The Dark Knight Rises saying it. Plus, in the beginning of another review, she almost said the Nostalgia Critic's most well-known catchphrase.
  Physicist: Sup everyone, I'm the Cartoon Physicist and this is the Noughtie List. And I remember it so you don't—sorry, I mean...Taking apart the good, the bad, and the forgotten of the New Millennium.
• Black Speech: Used to summon Nyarlathotep.
• But Now I Must Go: She tended to do this before she decided to settle down.
• The Cameo:
  • "Silent Bob" appears briefly in the Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back review, explaining how the duo got off with a restraining order despite being in possession of drugs.
  • Physicist herself makes a cameo in The Review Reviewer's review of Nostalgia Critic's Let's Play of Bart's Nightmare. But she doesn't just make an appearance, she ends up setting off a shakri cube in Reviewer's house which ends up stopping his heart.
  • "H.P. Lovecraft" from Ask Lovecraft has a brief cameo in Physicist's review of Dagon.
  • Nyarlathotep also appears in her review of Dagon.
  • The Rap Critic's one second cameo in Physicist's review of The Call of Cthulhu.
  • Physicist has a brief cameo in Michael Gleason's 100th Episode of The Literary Lair.
  • Jane Gray from The Bookwyrm's Keep appears in Physicist's review of the movie adapatation of Hogfather, explaining how sympathetic magic works.
  • Physicist appears in the fourth anniversary of Fool's Gold.
  • Toby Mobias has a brief cameo in her Top 6 Animated Revivals & Reboots video, showing how much of a Scooby-Doo fan he is.
  • Physicist appears via voice mail in The Punchline, specifically the episode when the Comic Strip Critic returns.
  • Her one year anniversary special contains the most amount of cameos on her show. Including Lady Jess, Michael Gleason and Dr Mikesano, the Rap Critic, title card artist Madi Long, Toby Mobias, Jane Grey, Review Reviewer and his cast, HP Lovecraft, SurferClock and TAP-G from "What's the Attraction?" Podcast, Randy McNeely and his mobster parrot Fred, Patrick Stergos, Rob of Cartoon Clipshow, Mattwo, Dom Perignon, Doctor Terawatt (then Doctor Holocaust), the Shady Reviewer, Angry Taco, Comic Strip Critic, Magnetrex, Xandrew, Atomic Robo, Some Loudmouth on the Internet, Brandon the Bambi Man, Kurgan Media, Matt from Lost in the Warp Pipe, Detective Steve, Cferra, James Walsh, DichterDenkerChaoten, The Happy Spaceman, Timmer, The Writer Sits in the Back, and Larsen Halleck of Fist Flicks.
  • Jack Shen appears in Physicist's review of Hellraiser: Deader as movie executive Bahlz Blitzer, and Diamanda Hagan has a cameo in the same review to explain why her trains are worse than the ones depicted in the film...specifically because Haganistan's train tracks were constructed out of erected dicks.
  • Crash Thompson appears at the end of Physicist's review of Hellraiser: Hellworld. He receives a package from her with the Lament Configuration inside...and thus gets tortured by the Cenobites, specifically with one of Nickelback's infamous songs.
  • Her very late second anniversary includes Review Reviewer and Mr It, SurferClock, Patrick Stergos, Rob of Cartoon Clipshow, Mattwo, Dom Perignon, Doctor Terawatt, Magnetrex, Xandrew, Detective Steve, James Walsh, The Happy Spaceman, Timmer, The Writer Sits in the Back, Grim of Grin and Grim, Whyboy, JD DeMotte, the Cartoon Hero, David Green (formerly DJ Soundbite), Crash Thompson, Deadwest and Billy of Screaming Soup, Some Jerk with a Camera, Artie (the crazy parody of a studio executive that constantly appears on review shows) played by Nicholas Bogroff Ganssle, Sunny Jim, Mr Mendo, QuilSniv, Zenithwillrule, and Diamanda Hagan.
• Caption Humour:
  • Cambot shows his mischevious side with this in Physicist's review of Special Unit 2.
  • Most of the time now, they've been written by Phys.
• Casual Time Travel: Physicist warps back 1920's Chicago without a second thought...to do a homework assignment.
• Catchphrase:
  'Sup everyone, I'm the Cartoon Physicist and this is the Noughtie List. Taking apart the good, the bad, and the forgotten of the New Millennium.
• Caustic Critic: Exaggerated whenever she's reviewing a film or a series she does consider to be bad. Inverted whenever she reviews a film or a series that she likes or thinks is just okay.
• Christmas Special: On Christmas in 2015, she reviewed the very Christmasy movie adaptation of Hogfather.
• Christmas in July: Might as well be the case in Australia.
  Physicist: Why am I drinking cocoa? It's bloody Summer.
• Circling Birdies: Ted Turner had some after his head was hit by the mallet.
• Collector of the Strange: It's more than likely she hasn't returned every super powered thing she stole, keeping them all as a collection.
• Combat Pragmatist: She is willing to use her mallet or an anvil to end a fight quickly regardless of her enemies' preferred weapons or fighting style.
• Constructive Criticism: She does try to find something good about a film or show even if the film/show in question is bad, and occasionally she talks about what could be done to improve it.
• Crossover:
  • Physicist reviews Hellboy with Toby Mobias, from the MSTieCast.
  • Physicist reviews The Call of Cthulhu with Lady Jess, from Fool's Gold.
  • The Review Reviewer reviews Grim Tales Down Below with Physicist.
  • Physicist does a Top 10 List with Michael Gleason from The Literary Lair.
  • Again, Michael Gleason reviews Inspector Gadget 2 with Physicist on his other show, How to Fix It.
  • Lauren herself appeared as a guest host on an episode of the Lost Media Chronicles to talk about the various lost creations of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
  • Physicist appeared on The Boob Tube to review FeardotCom with Magnetrex.
  • For her three-part second anniversary, she reviewed The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) with Michael Gleason, Jane Grey, Grumpy Old Manchild, and Toby Mobias.
• Creepy Cute: Hestia's pet shoggoth, Mr Whipplesworth, is a blob with multiple eye stalks and one big unblinking eye. But on the other hand, he's small and cries like a baby and a puppy.
• Cute Machines: Cambot.
• Damned by Faint Praise: At least Physicist does try to give one compliment towards a horrendous film or show in order to be fair.
• Dimensional Traveler: Thanks to her portable holes.
• Easter Egg: In each of her three 2015 Halloween reviews, there is at least one or two Sutter Cane novels.
• Elemental Powers: Ted Turner when he's Captain Planet.
• Empathic Weapon: Harpo the mallet seems to be this since Physicist mentioned it gets 'jealous' in a way of other power sources and powerful items, thus she literally can't use them.
• Episode Title Card: Every episode has one, most done by Madeline Long or "frillythingy".
  • The title card of her review of Better Off Ted was drawn by Remi P.
  • The title card of the Top 11 list concerning Kevin Smith's TV reboot of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension was drawn by Rachel Miller, since Lauren wanted the art style to match the popular art style of the film's time period. This prompted her to hire Miller to draw the late title card for her review of Hellraiser: Deader.
  • The second anniversary's cameo-packed title card was drawn by Chad Rocco in the style of Sergio Aragonés.
• Evil Sounds Deep: The Cyberspace Trinity aren't exactly evil, but they are ominous enough to have deep voices.
  • Although technically not evil, Nyarlathotep has a deep otherworldly voice.
• Experienced Protagonist: Physicist has had outlandish adventures before she started her own review show.
• Felony Misdemeanor: It's the Cyberspace Trinity's job to punish people for making mistakes on the internet, especially the tiniest ones.
• Fire and Brimstone Hell: Where The Weinstein Company Headquarters is, formerly Pandæmonium.
• Follow the Leader: Dino Squad. Hmmm... teenagers with attitude fighting an ancient evil teaming up with another ancient being and being gifted powers related to Dinosaurs? What does that remind you of?
• Former Teen Rebel: Her morally ambiguous adventuring days have all occurred while she was a teenager and she decided to semi-retire once she turned 18, however she has retained her anarchic nature.
• Formula-Breaking Episode: She made a top ten list about...books.
• Gadgeteer Genius: She made Hestia out of stolen parts, and created a time machine the size of her hand.
• Gag Censor: In her Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back review, Physicist covered Jay's bare ass with the 'CHA' moon from The Tick animated series.
  • All of the breasts within the film of Physicist's first Halloween review were covered with pumpkins.
  • In her review of Fanboys, she censored Zoe's bare ass with the forest moon of Endor.
  • In her review of Hellraiser: Deader, she covered breasts with the heads of the Siamese Twins Cenobites and a dick with the head of Dr Channard and one of Leviathan's tendrils combined.
• Gale-Force Sound: Physicist showed the Review Reviewer that was what Gabriel's horn was capable of.
• Gargle Blaster: Physicist does drink a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster throughout the late second anniversary. Consequentially, she has various unpleasant reactions.
• Gentleman Thief: Implied to have been one at some point.
• God in Human Form: Nyarlathotep appears to Physicist as an impeccably dressed masked man.P
• Goggles Do Nothing: Physicist wears them on her hat, and briefly dons them as proper eyewear during the Ted Turner fight.
• Gosh Dang It to Heck!!: Ted Turner does this, likely thinking that swearing will corrupt children.
• Greed: Yep. Her collection will never be complete to her.
• Hammerspace: Physicist has one behind her back. It allows her to pull out various objects, like her mallet.
• He Who Must Not Be Seen: Cambot, though he does appear on every title card.
• Halloween Special: Three in 2015. Each one was a review of a movie adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's stories.
  • She reviewed the four Direct-To-DVD Hellraiser movies made in the 2000s for Halloween in 2016...despite the fact that the last two movies were reviewed in December, and January of 2017.
  • In 2017, she reviewed the comeback films of recently deceased horror directors. Kind of. Due to a schedule slip, she only managed the first one out in November and she's apparently going to release the next two in February of 2018 because multiple events and things got in the way.
• Hilarious Outtakes: She released a blooper reel of outtakes from 2015 as soon as 2016 started.
• Humanoid Abomination: Nyarlathotep appeared humanoid to Physicist.
• Humongous-Headed Hammer: Her giant mallet, which she calls Harpo, is used as both a weapon and a comedic prop.
• I Call It "Vera": She calls her giant mallet Harpo, after the only Marx Brother who uses a mallet.
• Impossible Thief: She stole the Helm of Nabu, Pandora's Box, Gabriel's Horn, the Necronomicon, the Shining Trapezohedron, and the Infinity Gauntlet!
• In and Out of Character: Whenever she's on live streams, riffs, podcasts, and such, she's out of character. In her reviews, crossovers, and cameos, she stays in character.
• In-Series Nickname: "Physicist" of course, or just "Phys".
• In-Universe Camera: Cambot, now working for the Cartoon Physicist.
• "It" Is Dehumanizing: Physicist first referred to Mr Whipplesworth as an "it" because shoggoths don't have any genitalia, but goes along with calling Mr Whipplesworth a "him" for Hestia.
• Judge, Jury, and Executioner: The Cyberspace Trinity have directly called themselves this.
• Kleptomaniac Hero: Technically not a hero, but is a kleptomaniac.
• Leaving Food for Santa: She left cookies for Father Christmas, which Mr Whipplesworth tried to eat.
• Let's Play: Lauren did one between regular Noughtie List episodes on The Lost Cases Of Sherlock Holmes.
• Limited Wardrobe: Wears the same outfit in every episode. She does change her shirt, but it's usually a white shirt.
• Little Miss Badass: Although 18 at the time and (still) 5 foot 3, she managed to beat Captain Planet/Ted Turner. Granted she defeated him with a falling piano, but still.
• Meaningful Name: While the "Physicist" part of her name refers to her being a scientist, her entire title could be a reference to her cartoon physics related powers.
  • She explains in her second anniversary review that she's a theoretical physicist in the field of cartoon physics. Technically. Nowadays because of her criminal record, she independently breeds and sells babel fish to earn money.
• Metal Head: Definitely a fan of Iron Maiden.
  Physicist: Ah, Bruce, you have the voice of an angel...riding a nuclear powered harley in the middle of a battle between cyborg dragons and samurai dinosaurs...on Jupiter.
• Media Watchdog: Ted Turner is one. He even makes a speech about what's 'morally wrong' with cartoons today.
• Multi-Part Episode: Some of the reviews are separated into two parts. The second anniversary was the first review separated into three.
• Mysterious Past: Physicist seems to be one of the few reviewers with a backstory, and yet there have only been brief disclosures of her past throughout her show. Generally, her viewers just know that she used to travel the multiverse to steal things.
• Names Given to Computers: Hestia, named after the Greek goddess of homes. Get it?
• The Napoleon: Just 5'3, but can get pretty furious at a particularly bad movie or show.
• Non-Human Sidekick:
  • Hestia, Physicist's A.I.
  • Cambot, who works as Physicist's camera and appears in all of the title cards as a sidekick.
  • Mr Whipplesworth, a shoggoth that Physicist doesn't want as a sidekick.
• No Equal-Opportunity Time Travel:
  Physicist: When time travelling used to be a frequent thing for me, I preferred going to the future instead of the past because...oh, boy...the past was sexist as hell. Don't get me wrong, we unfortunately still have sexism today. But sexism in the past was practically magnified and I was expected to go along with it. I'll take the future over that any day.
• Offscreen Teleportation: When Ted Turner attempted to confront her, she was on a balcony. Then, in the middle of his speech, she walked up to him from behind even though Turner was certain he was looking at her the whole time.
• Older Than They Look: Currently she's 21, but her babyface and height make her look like a middle adolescent.
• The Omniscient Council of Vagueness: The Cyberspace Trinity, with green raining code in their faces' place. Although they did interact with Physicist, so their 'vagueness' is in question.
• Online Alias: Although she likely used her title before she became a reviewer, she currently uses it as an online alias/reviewer name.
• Orphaned Series: If this tweet and the show not having released a new episode since 2017 is anything to go.
• Portable Hole: One of Physicist's powers is the capability to pull out portable holes from her hammerspace. Her portable holes can also act as small portals, allowing her to travel to any county, planet, alternate universe, or dimension.
• Power Source: Physicist mentioned that the mallet is the source of her powers when she referred to magic and such as "other power sources".
• Promoted Fanboy: Now part of RT Gomer Productions and Channel Zero, which includes some of her favourite reviewers and riffers.
• Real Song Theme Tune: "Year 2000" by German punk band Die Toten Hosen.
• Retired Outlaw: After a life of adventuring (and stealing) throughout the multiverse, Physicist decided to start a review show in order to settle down.
• Right-Hand Attack Dog: Physicist thought her two guard dogs were going attack the Cyberspace Trinity once they broke into her home, but then we see her two dogs sleeping in bean bags with an instrumental lullaby playing in the background.
• Rimshot: Done whenever she uses a bad joke or pun that she knows is bad.
• Rule of Cute: There's a reason why she included footage of her dogs in some of her reviews.
• Robot Girl: The AI, Hestia, who is a snarky type, not above talking back to Physicist.
• Running Gag: The constant shut up, shut up, shut up in the Chicken Little review.
• Santa's Existence Clause: Well, the Hogfather is real.
• Schedule Slip: Physicist admitted 2017 was one big schedule slip.
• Secret Police: The Cyberspace Trinity are this to the internet.
• Seen It All: Pretty much the case since she's travelled the Reviewaverse and beyond.
• Shared Universe: Likely the Reviewaverse considering who cameoed in her videos.
• Shapeshifting: Nyarlathotep has said that he has many complex forms.
• Shout-Out: A lot of them actually. Usually in the form of in-universe elements, title cards, and references.
• Slave Race: Physicist has said that shoggoths like Mr Whipplesworth were created by the Elder Things to be slaves.
• Special Effects Failure: Due to problems with her video editor not wanting to resize clips vertically, the fight scene in the first review is marred by chromakey problems.
• Squee: Triggered by her soft spot for Winnie the Pooh.
• Sticky Fingers: It's implied that Physicist used her powers to steal for fun. Which includes stealing the Helm of Nabu and the Infinity Gauntlet. Apparently, she still does every now and then, including stealing fellow reviewer Jane Grey's magic tomes.
• Summoning Ritual: Physicist had to utter an incantation while holding the Shining Trapezohedron to summon Nyarlathotep.
• Surveillance Drone: Physicist seems to have procured herself the one and only Sci-Fi Channel-era Cambot from Mystery Science Theater 3000 as her cameraperson!
• Talking with Signs: Physicist mocked Ted Turner literally behind his back with a sign that includes a picture of a donkey and a hole.
• The Unintelligible: Cambot can now speak...with high pitch robotic beeps that sound awfully familiar. And Mr Whipplesworth can only say "tekeli-li".
• The Trickster: She tricked Ted Turner to fight himself in a Big Ball of Violence by simply walking out of the ball of smoke. Before calmly setting up a chair and sitting down to watch him and eat chips.
• Toon Physics: Her powers seem to revolve around the laws of cartoon physics.
• Tomes of Eldritch Lore: Hestia mentions that Physicist has an entire bookcase of tomes and grimoires.
• Troll: Grendel, one of the members of the Cyberspace Trinity, is the Guardian of Trolls and leading general of many Flame Wars.
• Turn of the Millennium: All of the fodder for review comes from that decade, for better or worse.
• Vanity Plate: To credit every website she's on or affiliated with.
• Villain Teleportation:
  • The ominous Cyberspace Trinity teleported in Physicist's house by making reality glitch.
  • The dark Outer God Nyarlathotep teleports in via shadowy smoke.
• Walking the Earth: She essentially walked the multiverse and such before settling down and starting her own review show.
• Welcome Episode: The series has an hour long introduction/top five list (officially 'Episode Zero') before the first episode proper, being the review of Dino Squad.
• Well-Intentioned Extremist: Ted Turner during the Dino Squad review.
• White Gloves: Worn as part of her regular costume as an homage to classic animation. She is the Cartoon Physicist, after all!
• With Great Power Comes Great Perks: Rather than use her powers to save the world or fight evil, she used them to roam the multiverse and have fun. In fact the last thing she did before starting a review show was ride the head of Great A'Tuin.
• World of Weirdness: The show is set in the Reviewaverse...everything, in both Physicist's past and present, is weird.
• Wrong Genre Savvy: Ted Turner has an umbrella that protects him from falling anvils. Too bad it doesn't do the same thing for pianos.

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