"So, you know what the moral of this story is, kids? If you see Jiz in a mall and she offers you some cool candy- maybe some blow or some weed- you better run the fuckin' other way, because I'm gonna put you in the sex slave trade, and then I'm gonna fuck your shit up! I'm gonna make you have abortions, I'll make you take loads, and then, eventually, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! Jiz."
— Jiz at the end of Bye Bye Ba Nee
A Gag Dub of Jem, created by "Sienna D'Enema", a Los Angeles area filmmaker who kept his identity under wraps until he guest starred on online gay talk show ''Hey Qween''
. D'Enema performs every character, with the exception of Spooge, whose voice is provided by special guest Willam Belli, as well as various celebrity sound bites.
21 episodes (ranging between 2 and 12 minutes) were released from July 2009 to June 2014, with Jiz Makes a CUMback premiering in September 2016:
- Jiz!!! and Jiz Sequel, two series of shorts based on the Jem public service announcements
- The Abortion Episode
- Jiz and the Mammograms
- Chrissie: Dreams of a Cum Catcher
- It Gets Worse
- Laura: Taking it up the Chocolate Yahweh
- Jiz is on Twitter @jizismyname
- Bye Bye Ba Nee
- Colonic
- Jiz – A Very Special Drug Episode
- Abortion Remix
- Kimber is a Dirty Lezzie
- Let's Have a Pee Pee
- Jiz and the 40th Annual Porn Awards
- Break Like a Hymen
- Jiz Gets Political
- The 10 Commandments of Jiz
- Jiz is Dead with Willam Belli
- The Official Movie Trailer for "Jiz and the Mammograms", a gag dub of the trailer for the live-action adaptation of the source material.
- Jiz's First Live Performance: I Know What You Caught Last Summer with Sherry Vine
- Jiz Makes a CUMback, Jiz's first episode in two years since Jiz is Dead.
- God, I'm a Whore, a parody of "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. Predates Jiz by two years.
- Thundercunts, where Thundercats is spoofed instead.
If the episode titles didn't tip you off, this series is extremely NSFW.
Contains:
- Abusive Parents: Jiz and Kimber's mother was at least as bad as adult Jiz. There's a reason Jiz organized her death.
- Ad Bumpers: Some episodes have this, similar to those on the original series.Jiz: Jiz will be right back. Don't change the channel, or I'll kill you!
- Adaptational Nice Guy: As surprising as it is for this series, Harriet Horn gets this treatment. In the original cartoon, she was a bully who used her talk show to humiliate people. Here, she is downright sympathetic, lamenting the times she used to cover actual news, implying her trashy news segments are forced on her. By The 40th Annual Porn Awards, she's full-on snarking at everything and outright stating she's going to kill herself once the camera's off.
- Ambiguously Gay: Coupled with Ambiguous Gender. Depending on the short, Jiz could be a straight woman, a lesbian or a gay man. Hell, Jiz could be a trisexual hermaphrodite for all we know.
- Lampshaded in Jiz Gets Political:
Jiz: I'm here for you to suck my dick!
John Boehner: Wait a minute, you have a dick? Ugh!
Jiz: I do in this episode!- As well as Jiz Makes a CUMback, where she makes LGBT jokes and justifies it as being part of the community herself. When Kimber asks her what letter she is, she responds that she's "the letter 'B' for 'bitch'".
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: From Kimber is a Dirty Lezzie.Jiz: You don't know the consequences. Dyking out is the number one killer of a sense of humor, fashion sense, and the ability to put on eyeliner.
- Back-Alley Doctor: Jiz has a whole abortion business going on. She forces girls to get abortions, and kills them if they refuse. Somewhat subverted in that Jiz does not give abortions for medical reasons, but just because
she likes them. - Bait-and-Switch Credits: Jiz is Dead opens like a regular episode until Kimber interrupts it to inform the viewer that Jiz is dead. This parallels the Jem episode ("The Day the Music Died") that it's based on.
- Bears Are Bad News: Ba Nee is eaten by a group of them, thanks to Jiz.
- Black Comedy Rape: From A Very Special Drug Episode.Aja: If I do not get high, I'll remember the rape. (half Beat) Oh my God, I was raped!
Shana: "No" means "Yes" in Jamaica, mon.- In Chrissie: Dreams of a Cum Catcher, Jiz is afraid that a black man (a respectable neurosurgeon) will rape her. She then follows this by saying that she was "ironically raped by a Samoan".
"Oh my God, don't rape meeeee! Nooooo!" - Butt-Monkey: In The 40th Annual Porn Awards, every time Sigourney Weaver opens her mouth, someone says "Shut up, Sigourney!".
- Character Catchphrase: Jiz threatens everyone with "I'll kill you".
- Ba Nee says "Eat my pussy" so much, she gets killed for it.
- The Chew Toy: Most of the girls in Jiz's sex trade, except Chrissie.
- No one really likes Ba Nee. To the point where Jiz feeds her to bears.
- Laura aka "Shitty Panties". After being ridiculed (and most likely molested) by Jiz, she escapes to join a group of fundamentalist Christians, who are also horrible to her.
- Ashley gets dynamite put into a very uncomfortable place and gets blown up when Jiz forgets to rescue her.
- Kimber thinks of herself as this, although Jiz seems to think it's more a case of Tough Love.
- Children Are a Waste / Black Comedy: On the Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice debate, Jiz is neither. She's Anti-Life.
- Deirdre decides in The Abortion Episode that she doesn't want a "baby on her back" weighing her down.
- Coming-Out Story: Kimber in Kimber is a Dirty Lezzie. Jiz and the other Mammograms are so homophobic that Kimber ends up marrying Ellen DeGeneres in order to be accepted.
- Department of Redundancy Department: Some insults will have this, like this one from The 10 Commandments of Jiz:Jiz's mother: Don't be such a little stupid retarded stupid cunt.
- Disney Acid Sequence / Mushroom Samba: Several. The first time the Mammograms use the Electronic Drug Dealer in Jiz and the Mammograms. Then several more times in A Very Special Drug Episode.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: Several voices in the first two videos differentiate from those in later videos. Otherwise, though, it's generally averted by the normal comedic Negative Continuity.
- Also, in the first video, one of the characters call Jiz "Jem" but this is more attributed to the fact that the voice actors were improvising and the mistake was understandable because, at the time, Jiz hadn't become a thing.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Ever since the commercial videos, Jiz simply refers to Laura as "Shitty Panties".
- Even Evil Has Standards: Jiz, for an extremely limited value of standards, will only kill assholes. Her example is orchestrating the death of her mother, who was at least as bad as she was, if not worse. Then again, she seems perfectly happy to casually maim and murder others for varying reasons, like not getting abortions.
- "Facing the Bullets" One-Liner:
- Fan Disservice: Nothing Jiz does is actually meant to be titillating.
- Flashback to Catchphrase: When told that she must get Jiz to "accept Christ in her heart", Laura recalls Jiz's "I smell shitty panties!" from the first PSA.
- The Fundamentalist: Laura belongs to a group, one that has religious chanting in the form of various racial slurs.
- Possibly Laura herself, like when she poured nitroglycerin on Trixie, then threatens the other girls that they'll burn in Hell if they don't start accepting Christ.
- Gayngst: Parodied but ultimately defied. When Jiz harasses Kimber for coming out as a lesbian, Kimber isn't taking any of it. Also defied in It Gets Worse; being gay doesn't suck, growing up does.
- Good Girls Avoid Abortion: In the Jiz universe, refusing an abortion and having the baby is the "bad" choice. It's not that it is the more moral choice, it's just that Jiz will kill you if you refuse. She really likes abortions. Ironically, Jiz's mother unsuccessfully tried to abort her, with a dust buster.
- Hearing Voices: As part of the "motherfucking" montage in Kimber is a Dirty Lezzie, one scene is Kimber struggling to fight the rapid swearing in her head.
- Hell: Apparently, Miami serves as this to Jiz's world, as depicted in Laura: Taking It Up the Chocolate Yahweh.
- Hypocrite:Kimber: And there is no room in this motherfucking society for any kind of hate speech, whether it be racist or misogynistic or homophobic or transphobic. None of it. What the––?
Pizazz: (gibberish)
Kimber: Shut up, you motherfucking retard. I'm trying to talk to the cameras. (to the camera) Oh, motherfucking what? - I Was Just Joking: From The 40th Annual Porn Awards.Host: ...these four actresses, let me tell you, they all have something in common.
Kimber: Hepatitis C!
Host: Hepatitis C! (audience gasps)
Kimber: Oh, shit got real. I was just joking. - Ignored Aesop: From A Very Special Drug Episode.Electronic Drug Dealer: I hope you learned something this week, Jiz.
Jiz: Bitch, I did not learn a damn thing. Now shut the fuck up and get me high. - I'll Kill You!: Jiz threatens this a lot.
- Exaggerated when Bea Arthur wins Best Up-the-Butt Actress. Jiz blows up all of the other nominees and burns down the theater the award ceremony is held in.
- Infallible Babble: Jiz gets high on Adderall and is extremely productive as a result.
- Larynx Dissonance: Jiz sounds a lot like Nathan Explosion, and similar to the Charlie Brown voices from Most Offensive Video.
- Lady Looks Like a Dude: Spooge, a cis woman, replaces Rory Llewelyn (Riot) in this series, but still looks exactly the same. This is only in terms of character; no visual changes are made, despite Riot being an unambiguously male character with many shirtless scenes.
- Lampshade Hanging: Jiz often comments on the trippy original series music video sequences. Of course, in the dub, she's usually high anyway.
- Magical Computer: The Electronic Drug Dealer.
- Medium Awareness:
- Break Like a Hymen:
Jiz: Hey, why are we drawn so badly?
Kimber: Don't change the motherfucking subject.- Jiz Gets Political: John Boehner is aware that he's been animated.
"This is my cartoon office." - Medium Blending: Occasionally, there'll be live-action footage intercut/interspersed with the animation.
- Motor Mouth: Spooge, whose Establishing Character Moment has her going on an extended non sequitir about how Jiz inspired her music/abortion, barely letting Jiz get a word in edgewise.
- Mushroom Samba: Laura steals Jiz's stash of angel dust to get closer to Jesus. Does she ever...
- N-Word Privileges: Discussed in Jiz Makes a CUMback via song by the Mammograms to Jiz after she told a black abortionist joke that was deemed offensive.
- Not So Above It All: In the second of The 10 Commandments of Jiz, a waiter chastises the Starlight kids for talking about holy excrement, telling them they're all going to Hell, but follows it up with this.Waiter: I want the Virgin Mary to shit on me 'cause virgin shits smell like Skittles.
- Only Sane Man:
- Rio, who has the most common sense of anyone in the ensemble.
- The cleaning woman/replacement Aja.
"I'm sorry to interrupt these inane ramblings." - Out of Focus: Raya, the fifth member of the Mammograms, barely has a role and has one speaking line overall (in Kimber is a Dirty Lezzie)."Are you going to lick our pussies?"
- Politically Incorrect Villain: From Chrissie: Dreams of a Cum Catcher.Jiz: I don't hate you because you're black; you're black because I hate you.
- Also Lampshaded and parodied. As society changes, other characters will criticize some of the words Jiz uses. For example, in Jiz is Dead, Kimber informs Jiz that she can't say "tranny" anymore to refer to transgender people, and, in Jiz Makes a CUMback, Rio tells her she can't say "retarded" anymore. It's worth noting that the series officially started way back in 2009. And Jiz, shockingly, changes her tune.
"Let's go get mentally challenged on some crank!" - Previously on…: A few episodes have this, usually by Kimber.Kimber: Motherfucking previously on motherfucking Jiz...
- Public Service Announcement: It Gets Worse.Hey guys, it's me, Jiz. I've got a message to all you pansies and bulldaggers out there...that are all getting bullied at school and shit...and you're thinking about killing yourselves. Well, I've got something to tell you: It gets worse. That's right, you're gonna grow up and get a job, and its gonna suck. And then your gonna get a relationship, and it's gonna suck. And your gonna get old and fat and wrinkled, and it's gonna suck. Yeah. life sucks! But you know what doesn't suck? Gay sex! Gay sex is fucking awesome. I mean, you're gonna grow old, and your life's gonna be pitiful and stupid, [cue music] but at least you can look back and remember the fucking gay orgy that you had. There's still gonna be all those memories to beat off to. So, I mean,if you're gonna kill yourself, do it because life is fucking retarded, not because you're a fucking queer. God!
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: See Toilet Humor.
- Queer People Are Funny: Pretty much every sexual orientation and fetish imaginable is the punchline to a joke somewhere or another. "Tranny", "lezzie" and "fag/faggot" are particularly common.
- Racial Face Blindness: When Aja's head is blown off by the Electronic Drug Dealer, the Mammograms kidnap the dry cleaning lady and put a blue wig on her. Even the insurance company can't tell when they killed the new Aja to replace the old Aja's body.
- Refuge in Audacity: The whole series. Just...all of it.
- Replacement Goldfish: In one episode, Aja has her head blown off, so Kimber, Shana and Raya simply put a wig on a random cleaning woman, who is ultimately shot by Jiz. Though the original is back by the next episode.
- Religion Is Wrong: Jiz claims Christianity is "a disease that kills millions".
- Just like Jiz!
- Ret-Canon: Kimber and Stormer are reinterpereted as gay in a new comic adaptation of Jem and the Holograms (IDW).
- Sadist Show
- Sex Sells: Jiz gets away with her abortion activity by having two of her girls make out for the man pressing charges.
- Self-Made Orphan: After being told she must carry a baby to term (and being insulted) by her mother, Jiz sabotages her plane by stuffing the engine with shitty panties. Somehow, her mother was also impaled through her mouth with a vibrator.
- Shout-Out: A lot.
- Chrissie: Dreams of a Cum Catcher:
- The background music that recurs with Chrissie is Nancy Sinatra's "Some Velvet Morning (Sugar Town)".
- Jamal repeatedly claims that he's from "the House of LaBeija".
- Probably looking too far into it but Jamal tells Chrissie to "beat it". In the original series, Jamal is intended as an expy of Jackson 5-era Michael Jackson.
- Name-drops: Miley Cyrus and David Bowie.
- Laura: Taking It Up the Chocolate Yahweh:
- The video opens with Queens of the Stone Age's "God Is in the Radio".
- When Jiz encounters Laura, "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger plays in the background.
- Laura's guitar plays the Jesus Christ Superstar overture.
- Laura's trip to the Afterlife has Electric Light Orchestra's "I'm Alive", and going through the door are The Golden Girls.
- Name-drops: Burt Reynolds.
- Bye Bye Ba Nee:
- A Very Special Drug Episode:
- Lords of Acid's "I Sit on Acid" plays alongside Jiz's acid trip.
- Jiz refers to her acid trip as being "trapped in the opening sequence of Days of Our Lives".
- After smoking marijuana, Jiz refers to Rio's hair as "a cross between Bruce Jenner and CranGrape". She also recognizes the background music, Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill".
- Jiz talking about special K and watching Danse is accompanied by The Free Design's "A Man and a Woman".
- Kimber is a Dirty Lezzie:
- Eating pussy is referred to as "going to Ani DiFranco Lake".
- Kimber and Stormer are mistaken for the Indigo Girls.
- Ellen DeGeneres' "I do" is audio of her famous "I'm gay" from Ellen, followed by the subsequent audience cheering.
- Name-drops: Rosie O'Donnell
- The 40th Annual Porn Awards:
- The nominees for the "Best Up the Butt Actress" award are Sigourney Weaver for Butt Aliens, Meryl Streep for Sophie's Butt Choice, Bea Arthur in The Golden Shower Girls and Jiz in Mind Butt Explosion Part 4: The Assocalypse.
- Streep says that she won Best Ejaculation the previous year for Creamer vs. Creamer.
- Weaver also points out that she too won the year before for Best Bestiality Film: Gorillas in My Mist.
- When Jiz loses, Kimber starts singing a variation of "Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead!".
"Ooh, in your motherfucking face! Ding-dong, Jiz just lost! Which old Jiz? This motherfucking Jiz!"- Name-drops: Betty White, Estelle Getty, Missy Elliott and Sarah Jessica Parker
- Break Like a Hymen:
- Jiz goes to "car jump purgatory", where she encounters Thelma & Louise, Ferris Bueller's valet and "Tracy Chapman", Sandy and Danny, and Bo and Luke.
- A couple of the Mammograms' horses are named Hilary Swank and Sarah Jessica.
- Kimber calls herself "Ellen DeGeneres funny" but Jiz shuts her down, dubbing her "Rosie O'Donnell funny". She later upgrades her to "Paula Poundstone funny".
- Kimber's joke that the Mammograms don't understand is a reference to the mentorship of Justin Bieber by Snoop Dogg.
- The radio emcee may be a parody of Casey Kasem.
- Jiz Gets Political:
- Name-drops: Betsy Ross, Tennessee Williams, Barbara Walters and Neil Patrick Harris
- The 10 Commandments of Jiz:
- The video begins with the opening riff of Heart's "Barracuda", with Jiz humming along.
- "Thou shall have no other Jiz-es but me": Jiz refers to her impersonator as "lesbian fucking Single White Female Jennifer Jason Leigh bullshit".
- "Thou shall remember the Black Sabbath": The Shitfits 'perform' "Iron Man" (although this consists of nonsensical gibbering and the occasional "clitoris!").
- "Thou shall not commit toiletry": "Bubble Butt" by Major Lazer feat. Bruno Mars, Tyga and Mystic plays.
- "Thou shall not steal my shit": Ashley steals money from Jiz to donate to GLAAD.
- "Thou shall not lie to the Jiz": Ba Nee saying "no muff too tough" references a Navy SEALs chant.
- Jiz is Dead:
- Spooge's musical number is guest star Willam Belli's single "Only Anally".
- Kimber's one-liner towards the end of the video, "I won't motherfucking remember you", references Sarah McLachlan's song "I Will Remember You".
- Name-drops: The Holocaust, Rocky III, National Geographic, The Go-Go's, Full House and Jodie Sweetin.
- Jiz Makes a CUMback:
- The title card parodies Stranger Things. Immediately lampshaded by Jiz and Kimber.
- Kimber had Caitlyn Jenner write Jiz's obituary in US Weekly.
- Jiz refers to Rio as "looking like Dame Edna dressed up like the Crocodile Hunter for Halloween".
- Jiz goes on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Complete with Colbert sound bites from The Late Show and Strangers with Candy!
- Jiz's victory music is the Love, American Style theme.
- Name-drops: Netflix, Orlando Bloom, Adam Lambert, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jon Stewart, George Lopez, Kate McKinnon, Jimmy Fallon, Conan O'Brien, Patricia Arquette, Rosanna Arquette, Chris Rock and Twitter
- Chrissie: Dreams of a Cum Catcher:
- Sir Swearsalot: Kimber."I motherfucking figured out how to motherfucking pay the Electronic motherfucking Drug Dealer."
- Song Parody: Many episodes feature at least one.
- The Abortion Episode: "Abortion" (the first Jem theme song) – briefly reprised in Chrissie: Dreams of a Cum Catcher
- It Gets Worse: "Gays" (Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All")
- Bye Bye Ba Nee: David Bowie's "China Girl"
- A Very Special Drug Episode: "No Special K in L.A." (Missing Persons' "Walking in L.A.")
- Kimber is a Dirty Lezzie: "Clitoris" (Britney Spears' "Circus")
- The 40th Annual Porn Awards: "Shit" (Björk's "It's Oh So Quiet")
- Jiz Gets Political: "Fart in Me" (Katy Perry's "Part of Me")
- The 10 Commandments of Jiz: "Fraud" (Lady Gaga's "Applause")
- Break Like a Hymen: "Jiz Whores" (the second Jem theme song); "Don't Hate a Bull Dyke" (The Waitresses' "I Know What Boys Like"); and "Hymen" (Rihanna's "Diamonds")
- Jiz is Dead: "Only Anally" (Katy Perry's "Unconditionally"), also released as a single and on Belli's 2015 extended play Shartistry in Motion; and the music playing during the Jiz and Spooge montage (Perry's "Dark Horse")
- The Official Movie Trailer for "Jiz and the Mammograms": The background music (Ariana Grande's "Break Free")
- Jiz Makes a CUMback: "Mean Jokes" (Sia's "Cheap Thrills")
- Special Guest: Jiz is Dead features drag queen Willam Belli as the voice of Spooge.
- The Stinger: Many later installments end with this voiceover.
- The Stoner: Jiz. Her earrings get her high.
- Streetwalker: Bobby.
- Subverted Kids' Show
- The Talk Show with Host Name: The Harriet Upfucker Show
- Toilet Humour: "Shitty panties!"
- Tonight, Someone Dies: Jiz is Dead is set up to be this and even Kimber thought (or wanted to believe) she died. But the stinger tells otherwise when she and Spooge are simply stranded on a deserted island.
- Un-Cancelled: Two years after Jiz is Dead, Jiz officially returns with Jiz Makes a CUMback. However, no further Jiz videos have been made.
- The Unintelligible: The Shitfits. Stormer's getting better, though."Clitoris!"
- Unstoppable Rage: Chrissie unleashes this upon Jamal, drowning him.
- Unusual Euphemism: SO MANY.
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: In Laura: Taking It Up the Chocolate Yahweh, the other Starlight girls are completely unperturbed by Trixie bursting into flames.
- Verbal Tic: Kimber's tendency to say "motherfucking" nearly every other word. Lampshaded by Jiz in Kimber is a Dirty Lezzie, which leads to a montage.
- You Are Fat: Jiz sometimes insults Kimber with this. From Jiz Makes a CUMback.Kimber: Oh, and here's a drawing of what your bloated corpse would look like.
Jiz: It still looks thinner than you. - Your Head Asplode: In A Very Special Drug Episode, Aja gets her head blown off by the Electronic Drug Dealer.
