Video Game / Dong Dong Never Die

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"My personal favorite super belongs to the dainty umbrella-wielding Mian Hua Tang: she calls out to her manservant, ordering him to attack. (Relevant: her manservant is Optimus Prime.)"

— PC Gamer

More accurately translatable to Dong Dong: the Immortal Legend (Chinese: 东东不死传说), Dong Dong Never Die is a Fighting Game that defies all but the heartiest attempts at description. Suffice it to say that just before its destruction, SkyNet sends a more advanced Terminator — the nigh-invulnerable, gun-wielding, super-strong, and water-drinking Sheng Hua Nan — to the past. In response, the leader of the human resistance, Dong Dong, sends back a T-800 Model Terminator that he has reprogrammed to protect his past self. Both Terminators arrive at a time when fighting representatives from all parts of China such as Sun Wukong with a spray paint can, some guy with a huge afro and an inner-tube, and Mario gather together and-

Made by a group of high-passion, low-tech early Chinese game developers, Dong Dong Never Die shamelessly lifts plots, characters, and everything else from all sections of pop culture and blends them into a ridiculous, hilarious, unbalanced, and surprisingly fun fighting game. Instead of drawn sprites, the developers took thousands of photographs and chained them together to create the game's sprites, creating an uncanny yet bizarrely hilarious "artstyle". It's free to download, and is one of the few places where you can have Zhuge Liang order a volley of arrows against a Terminator who celebrates his victory by drinking a bottle of water and singing "I Believe I Can Fly."

Giant Bomb took at look at it here, Super Bunnyhop took their crack at it here, the Super Best Friends played it here,, Yo Videogames tried it out here and Joel from Vinesauce streamed (and fell in love with) it, as partly shown here. A quick look at it can be found here.

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Dong Dong Never Die contains examples of...

• The Ace: Dong Dong is said to have solved numerous national crises before his current assignment in the tournament.
• The Ahnold: Gouki, especially during his bazooka super. He even has the accent.
• All There in the Manual: Some of the characters have their backstories listed in the creator's blog:
  • Dong Dong is a police officer who participates in Guangzhou's fighting tournament to investigate a case related to missing fighters. He has a dark side lurking inside of him after his involvement in a case few years ago. This dark side is manipulated by Sheng Hua Nan during the tournament to go on a rampage.
  • A Shuang is from a village that has no water, so he enters the tournament to use the prize money to buy water for his fellow villagers.
  • Ken is the actual Ken, who got pulled out of his home franchise for unknown reasons. He enters the competition looking for a way to get himself back to his own world.
  • Ming Boy is a man in his 20s still in the 3rd grade. He enters the tournament to prove that he's the strongest elementary school student.
  • Liu Mang is a football star who will do whatever it takes to win the gold in any competition. He aims to bring his passion for football in the fighting tournament.
  • Claiming to be a former seedy underworld worker, Wu Liao Jun is just the owner of a clothing factory who exaggerates his life out of boredom. He enters the tournament to get some excitement in his life.
  • Gouki is another police officer investigating Guangzhou's tournament, working undercover as a video game magazine editor.
  • Terminator was sent by Dong Dong from the future to prevent Sheng Hua Nan's assassination attempt. After being accidently transported to the wrong location in China, he forms the Jiangxi Special Forces to accomplish his goal of protecting Dong Dong.
  • Ming Hua Tang's motivation for fighting in the tournament is get money to buy pricey brand-name shoes.
  • Jiang Bao is intended to be the bit character of the same name from Kung Fu Hustle. After the events of the film, he makes money in the stock market, but participates in the tournament to earn prize money to invest and make back his lost earnings from bad stocks; to that end, he went to "Grandpa Chow" in order to learn the basics of Tai Chi.
  • Sun Wukong awakens to modern society, disappointed to find that it has been polluted. He wants to use the prize money to raise funds for his environmental protection organization,
  • Sheng Hua Nan is a Terminator who seeks to kill Dong Dong.
• Alternate Universe: This seems to be another alternate timeline of Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
• Ambiguous Gender: Ming Boy. The outfit, Coke-bottle glasses and bizarre walking animation help none.
• Authority Equals Asskicking: Da Lan seems to be some kind of authority figure (one of his followers lights his cigarette post-match) and is the only member of his crew fighting.
• Bash Brothers: Jie Mei Hua are a group of two nurse sisters who fight alongside each other.
• Big Damn Heroes: During the final battle against Sheng Hua Nan, either Dong Dong or Terminator help you out in a second match. Oddly, Sheng Hua Nan doesn't power up or call an ally of his own to boost his own power, so the second match is comparatively easy. Perhaps this is intentional so as to compensate for the first battle, which is rather grueling.
• Bootstrapped Theme: Since the game takes so much from other sources, the character themes are also ripped straight from games and movies.
  • Dong Dong: Freestyle Dojo, a remix of Ryu's theme from the OverClocked ReMix community.
  • A Shuang: Yell Dead Cell from Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty.
  • Ken: A remix of Ken's theme.
  • Yin Yin: Lost Painting from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
  • Ming Boy: Topo's Groove Heaven from Brave Fencer Musashi.
  • Liu Mang: The Beep, Remy's theme from Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike.
  • Wu Liao Jun: 9th and Divided (Ain't Got Anytime 24/7 Remix) a hip-hop remix of "Slum No. 5" from The King of Fighters.
  • Jun Mei Hua: A remix of Chun-Li's theme.
  • Gouki: The theme to Mission: Impossible.
  • Terminator: Mech 8, from Unreal Tournament III
  • Mian Hua Tang: The bowling results screen from Wii Sports.
  • Jian Ci Lang: Ai Wo Torimodose, the theme to Fist of the North Star.
  • Mo Shu Shi: Doll Eyes, Cammy's theme from Street Fighter Alpha 3.
  • Jiang Bao: This is True Love Makin' from Capcom vs. SNK 2: Mark of the Millennium.
  • Xiao Pan: The 3DO version of Guile's theme.
  • Huo Chai Ren: Keep My Fire from Capcom vs. SNK: Millennium Fight 2000.
  • Sun Wukong: The theme to the 1986 TV version of Journey to the West.
  • Da Lan: Dangerous by Michael Jackson.
  • Zhuge Liang: ONS01 from Unreal Tournament III.
  • Fei Fei: For Liberty from Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.
  • Sheng Hua Nan: Lock and Load II from Front Mission 5: Scars of the War.
  • Violent Dong Dong: The World Needs Only One Big Boss from Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty.
  • Tuo Lei: The Sun Also Rises, the main theme for the 2007 Movie of the same name, also featured in the 2010 film Let The Bullets Fly, when you fight him in Inner Mongolia.
• Brilliant, but Lazy: Dong Dong's animations make it look like he just doesn't give a crap. He's also The Chosen One destined to save the world.
• Bullet Time: One of Gouki's supers slows time and releases doves.
• The Chooser of the One: Dong Dong was chosen by Time Magazine, of all things.
• The Chosen One: Dong Dong is apparently the only one who can save the world (according to Time Magazine).
• Combat Medic: Jie Mei Hua are two nurses who, despite throwing scalpels, otherwise attack with typical fighting game moves.
• Competitive Balance: Completely averted with Sheng Hua Nan, with regards to his gun attacks. Infinite range, infinitely chainable, and can combo any opponent from full health. Its only weakness is that all of his projectiles aside from his machine gun super are high enough to completely miss ducking opponents, allowing a canny player to roll towards him and...probably get caught by his ludicrously-damaging and self-chainable breakdancing sweep kick.
• Confusion Fu: Jie Jie has a Doppelgänger Spin teleport and one of his supers involves using his inner tube as a teleportation device to dive at the enemy repeatedly.
• Desperately Looking for a Purpose in Life: Wu Liao Jun, a former Triad member, competes in a tournament to alleviate his sheer boredom.
• Enemy Summoner: Aside from the aforementioned Mian Hua Tang, Mo Shu Shi summons spirits to attack, while Terminator summons five human missiles for one of his supers.
• Evil Laugh: Violent Dong Dong and Sheng Hua Nan have suitably hammy ones.
• Evil Sounds Deep: Averted for Sheng Hua Nan. He's a tenor.
• Expy / Shout-Out: So many. Just a few of the more notable ones...
  • Several of the stages are recreated expies of various Street Fighter stages.
  • The intro is more or less The King of Fighters '98.
  • Dong Dong, Terminator, Sheng Hua Nan, and the entire plot are tied to Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
  • Ken is...Ken.
  • Jian Ci Lang is Kenshiro crossed with Zangief.
  • Yin Yin's outfit might be a reference to Aya's from Onechanbara. She also begins matches by riding Kokuo-goh onto the stage.
  • Liu Mang seems to be a huge reference to Shaolin Soccer and DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story.
  • Mario is Akuma. And, well, Mario.
  • Da Lan has several mannerisms and animations homaging Michael Jackson. Meanwhile, he has Liu Kang's moveset.
  • Arcade mode has a bonus stage where you beat up a car, and a few bonus stages where you fight characters from Streets of Rage, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs and Capcom's Tenchi o Kurau.
  • Mian Hua Tang summons Optimus Prime.
  • On a related note, Xiao Pan wears an Autobot T-shirt, but otherwise has absolutely nothing to do with Transformers. Instead, he has Guile's move set.
  • Dong Dong, Violent Dong Dong, and Mario all have Akuma's winpose. Oddly enough, Gouki doesn't.
    • Violent Dong Dong also uses Gill's Seraphic Wing super and has Rock Howard's win pose.
  • Fei Fei is basically a female Iori Yagami.
    • Speaking of which, Dong Dong has a move that looks like Iori's Shiki Aoi Bana and a move similar to Akuma's Shun Goku Satsu, but otherwise seems to be a pastiche of Ryu and Kyo Kusanagi.
  • It might also be notable that all of the music in the game is taken from various sources.
  • Mian Hua Tang is a female Shizumaru, and her dialogue 'HEY GUYS C'MON' is basically also an homage to Terry Bogard.
• Extendable Arms: Wu Liao Jun stabs his arms into the ground and stretches them upward.
• Eye Beams: A Shuang has them, and is something of a Cyclops Expy
• Fashionable Asymmetry: Yin Yin's outfit includes a stocking (with garters!) on one leg, while the other bears only a thin studded belt. She also wears a fishnet stocking on one arm.
• Flechette Storm: One of Jie Mei Hua's supers surrounds the target with a ring of scalpels that then home in for loads of damage.
• Funny Afro: Jie Jie has a huge fuzzy one that marks him as something of a crazy funster.
• Glass Cannon: Fei Fei and Wu Liao Jun.
• Gratuitous English: Mian Hua Tang sometimes says "Hey, guys! Come on!" and all of Yin Yin's lines are in English. Sheng Hua Nan also sings "I Believe I Can Fly" in one of his win poses.
• Guest Fighter: The most recent version, Dong Dong Never Die: Judgment Day (which was released in January 2024), has Inugami Korone as an additional fighter.
• Gun Nut: Gouki dresses in camo and has plenty of guns (and a rocket launcher).
• The Gunslinger: Gouki performs a few trick shots with his pistol during one of his supers and is about as direct an example of The Woo as anyone can be during another.
• Historical Domain Character: Zhuge Liang is in the game. And he starts fights by showing some leg.
• Improbable Weapon User: Aside from Mian Hua Tang using her umbrella, there's Jie Jie, who uses a pink plastic inner tube, and Ming Boy, who uses a flute and paper airplanes.
• Jack of All Stats: Mario, having even stats.
• Lady of War: Mian Hua Tang is dressed in a frilly and elegant getup, and is one of the few who fights with a melee weapon.
• Lethal Joke Character: Ming Boy looks ridiculous, has a short melee range, takes noticeably more damage than anyone else... and not only does he have indestructible multi-hitting projectiles designed to keep people blocking, he's also the only other fighter that can heal, and can do so to the same extent as the final boss, albeit minus the invincibility.
• Lightning Bruiser: Violent Dong Dong and Sheng Hua Nan, being maxed out in every stat.
• Ms. Fanservice: Yin Yin and Fei Fei have very fanservicey getups, and one of Fei Fei's winposes has her teasingly unzip her pantsuit halfway.
• Meaningful Name:
  • Jian Ci Lang is the Chinese name for Kenshiro.
  • Jie Mei Hua means "flower sisters".
  • Sheng Hua Nan means "biochemical man".
  • Wu Liao Jun can mean either "bored guy" or "boring guy".
  • Zu Qiu Liu Mang means "football hooligan".
• Multi-Armed and Dangerous: One of Wu Liao Jun's supers has him stab his two arms into the ground, only to unleash a flurry of at least six.
• Naked on Arrival: Terminator sometimes does the Terminator-style time travel entry.
• Ninja Run: Ming Boy has possibly the least cool-looking version of this ever shown on screen.
• Optional Boss: At the end of the game, after you defeat Sheng Hua Nan, you face the rest of the cast in three intervals. You have one chance to beat them all, and your reward for completing it is a preview for the developer's Streets of Rage fangame.
• Parasol of Pain: Mian Hua Tang's melee weapon is an umbrella.
• Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Mario is much smaller than the other characters, but just as dangerous. Sometimes even more, as his small size makes many attacks against him miss.
• Power Floats: Huo Chai Ren and Ming Boy have floaty win-poses, while Violent Dong Dong has a floating pose for one of his supers.
• Promoted to Playable: The usual depower is completely averted with Sheng Hua Nan and Violent Dong Dong. The playable versions are exactly as overpowered as when you fight them.
• Public Domain Character: Sun Wukong is in the game. With a spray paint can.
• Rain of Arrows: One of Zhuge Liang's supers has him call for a volley of arrows.
• Sexy Backless Outfit: Fei Fei's pantsuit is open all the way to her hips in back, and her intro makes sure you get a good look at it.
• Shock and Awe: A Shuang fires electricity from his hands when he uses his super and special moves.
• Shotoclone: Dong Dong, Ken (naturally), Fei Fei (albeit SNK style), and Mario.
• Spam Attack: Jiang Bao likes to use bicycle kicks and rapid-fire punches.
• Stick Figure Animation: Huo Chai Ren.
• Stout Strength: Jian Ci Lang.
• Superpowered Evil Side: Violent Dong Dong is...Dong Dong's.
• Time Travel: Naturally, given that the game's plot is a Whole-Plot Reference to Terminator 2.
• Throwing Down the Gauntlet: The machines are kind enough to disseminate confirmation that "We Will Attack You Again" to at least one major newspaper.
• Tomboy and Girly Girl: Yin Yin is the deeper-voiced grappler, while Mian Hua Tang is the frilly-dressed umbrella-user.
• Vapor Wear: Averted with Fei Fei. Despite her wearing a backless suit, she still clearly wears a bra underneath.
• Wrestler in All of Us: Yin Yin and Jian Ci Lang are grapple-heavy characters.

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