Release: March 10, 2009
Movie: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
This review contains examples of:
- Big "NO!": Utters these in quick succession when he discovers there's actually a song sung by the Garbage Pail Kids.
- Despair Event Horizon: The entire review could be seen as this, as the Critic is clearly struggling to get through the film and even claims to feel violated by what he's watching.
- Flipping the Bird: Old Nostalgia Critic was visited by a DVD of the movie he reviewed. Instead of reaching out to it, he gave the DVD the middle finger before lying dead.
- Gainax Ending: The review ends with a confusing sequence of events highly-reminiscent to that of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
- Head Desk: Critic gets fed up one too many times with Nat Nerd randomly pissing himself like it's the funniest thing.Critic: Well, you know what they say: If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, TRY, TRY, TRY (Critic gets sped up repeating try, smacking his head on the desk) until your little mind can't take it anymore!
- Humor Dissonance: Invoked — There's a scene where the Garbage Pail Kids visit a theater showing old Three Stooges shorts, and The Critic observes that the audience is laughing way too much at the films.Critic: ...Is everyone in this theater high? I mean, I love the Three Stooges, but they're all laughing like fucking hyenas! Maybe they've been devoid of real humor in this movie that even the moderately-funny stuff seems incredible to them.
- Leave the Camera Running: Accuses the campfire sequence of being this.Critic: WHERE'S THE STORY?! I mean did they just leave the camera on? They're doing nothing, absolutely nothing! GIVE US A PLOT, YOU DAMN MOVIE!!!
- May–December Romance: He views Dodger and Tangerine's relationship as this, finding it creepy that someone in her twenties seems to take interest in a twelve-year old. Shockingly enough, the actors were only a year apart in age in reality.
- Morton's Fork: The finale has Juice on both the giving and receiving end of his fight with Dodger.(Juice beating up Dodger) Dude, you're beating up a twelve-year old? What an asshole!(Dodger beating up Juice) You're getting beat up by a twelve-year old, what an asshole.
- Running Gag: The bulky female bully who laughs really badly.
- Also Nat Nerd constantly wetting his pants as if it were funny, which eventually causes the Critic to snap into a rage.
- Shouldn't We Be in School Right Now?: Referenced:Critic (as Dodger): Hello! It's morning, and I have no school, home or parents to report to!
- Shout-Out: The entire ending is a parody of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
- Subverted Catchphrase: In the opening of the review, the Critic doesn't say a word, but simply hides his face in his hands. He then says "I got nothing."
- Take That!: Shoots one at Joan Rivers, Michael Moore, and Carrot Top when he asks how a State Home for the Ugly can exist if they're still running free.
- This Is Gonna Suck: Before starting his review, the Critic says, "It's gonna hurt. I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna hurt."
- What the Hell, Hero?: Constantly between the Garbage Pail Kids, Tangerine, Captain Manzini, among others.Critic: (As Captain Manzini)
I'm so happy I could free you from this prison just so I can imprison you in an even smaller garbage can! Hooray! - Who Writes This Crap?!: Throughout the entire review; the entire concept for the State Home for the Ugly in particular is where he seems to draw the line.
- With Lyrics: The Critic puts lyrics to Also Sprach Zarathustra, up to and including his Signing-Off Catchphrase.
- Worst. Whatever. Ever!: Doug still considers this the worst movie he's ever reviewed (or watched period).
