On your mark, get set, slither!
SpongeBob: Looks like we're going to start our training now, ladies! (laughs) I call you a lady to humiliate and demean you! It's a motivational tool we coaches use.
(cut to Sandy walking down the street)
Sandy: Hmm... I don't know why, but I think I'll kick SpongeBob's butt tomorrow.
(cut to Sandy walking down the street)
Sandy: Hmm... I don't know why, but I think I'll kick SpongeBob's butt tomorrow.
The Great Snail Race
Original air date: 1/24/2003 (produced in 2002; first aired in Canada on 11/6/02)
When Squidward buys a pedigreed racing snail named Snellie and enters her in a snail race, SpongeBob decides to enter Gary in the race as well, not realizing that the training he puts Gary through is too much for him.
"The Great Snail Race" contains examples of:
- Accidental Misnaming: Squidward gets this thrice:
- The mailman refers to him as "Squidward Tennisballs".
- Patrick reads Squidward's name on the snail adoption paper as "Squidward Tentpoles". When Squidward corrects him, he accidentally refers to himself as "Tennisballs".
- Finally, the trophy in the end is engraved to "Squidward Tortellini".Squidward: Will I ever win?
- Actually Pretty Funny: While Squidward is at first annoyed that Patrick misspelled "Tentacles" on the engraving of the trophy as "Tortellini", he eventually decides to just laugh it off, up until Sandy arrives.
- Adapted Out: In book adaptations of this episode, Sandy's scenes were removed.
- An Aesop:
- Don't push yourself or others, especially into things that you or they don't feel comfortable doing.
- The best way to get others into trying their best is encouraging them rather than berating them.
- Always help someone in need, even if it means forfeiting a competition.
- Never underestimate those who you believe cannot win competitions.
- Using casual sexism, especially in a negative way, is unacceptable, as SpongeBob finds out the hard way at the very end of the episode.
- Answer Cut: Squidward asks Patrick, who's in a window above him, what he's standing on. Screen cuts to show Patrick standing on Squidward's shoulders.
- Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?:SpongeBob: Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Patrick: Yeah, I should get a snail and enter it in that race and beat Squidward! (Patrick runs off)
SpongeBob: (to Gary) Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
(Gary imagines himself watching a guy get hit in the head with a coconut on TV)
SpongeBob: No, no, no! I'm thinking about entering you in that race and beating Squidward's snail! - Bait-and-Switch: At the titular race, Nat is in the announcement booth running off an articulate speech to kick off the race. He then states that he's not actually the announcer and just hijacked the announcements on a whim until he was chased out by the real announcer.Nat: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our live coverage of this year's annual spring classic; the 102nd Running of the Snail. And what a beautiful day for this sport of kings for which I am a huge fan! ...Seriously, I'm just a fan. I was on my way to my seat, the door was open—
Announcer: (from off-camera) Hey! What are you doing? (Nat runs away from the microphone and the announcer takes his place) Heh! Sorry about that, folks. - Big "NO!": Done by SpongeBob when Gary crashes into the wall.
- Beyond the Impossible: Rocky, a non-sentient rock that never gave a sign of being anything else, somehow manages to win the Snail race.
- Brick Joke: When SpongeBob admits he called Gary a lady "to humiliate and demean [him]", it cuts to Sandy having a strange unexplained urge to kick SpongeBob's butt the next day. At the end of the episode, Sandy comes out of nowhere, gives SpongeBob a Literal Ass-Kicking, and shouts "That's for yesterday, SquarePants!" This bit was not included in the book adaptations for some reason.
- Companion Cube: Patrick's "snail" Rocky.Squidward: Patrick... that's a rock.
Patrick: Yeah, thanks, I know. He's got nerves of steel! - Dark Horse Victory: With Gary out of the race and Snellie forfeiting to be by his side, the real winner of the race is... Patrick's rock Rocky, which somehow got to the finish line.
- Description Cut: When peering through SpongeBob's windows, Squidward asks what Patrick is standing on. It then cuts to the outside of the pineapple and reveals that Patrick is standing on Squidward's shoulders.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: SpongeBob as Gary's racing coach.
- Dumb Is Good: Patrick is the nicest character in the whole episode.
- "Everybody Laughs" Ending: Initially played straight, then Sandy interrupts to literally kick SpongeBob's butt.
- Fun with Homophones: When Squidward boasts that Snellie is a purebred, Patrick thinks he said the snail is made of bread.
- Gendered Insult: SpongeBob calls Gary a "lady", explaining that it's a motivational tactic.
- Gilligan Cut: The snail that is chosen to light the torch takes a long time to do it. The announcer claims, "He's almost there, any minute now..." Two hours later, the snail isn't even a quarter of the way there.
- Got Me Doing It: The mailfish accidentally refers to Squidward as "Mr. Tennisballs". When Patrick misreads Squidward's name on Snellie's adoption paper as "Squidward Tentpoles", Squidward accidentally calls himself "Tennisballs".
- Graceful Loser: SpongeBob, since he was more concerned with Gary's injuries than winning. Squidward also takes his loss surprisingly well.
- Heroic RRoD: Gary (literally) breaks down mid race.
- Inanimate Competitor: Rocky, who ends up getting to the finish line first... somehow.
- It's All About Me: SpongeBob's real motivation for putting Gary in the race isn't to give him a sense of pride or compete for fun, but to rub it in Squidward's face. In other words, he's vicariously racing through Gary for his own glory.
- Jerkass Ball: SpongeBob, who's normally nothing but affectionate to Gary, becomes uncharacteristically overbearing training him for the snail race, putting him through a grueling workout routine that includes depriving him of sleep.
- Kick the Dog: After Gary crashes, Squidward starts laughing his head off.
- Laser-Guided Karma: This happens to the three main characters. To clarify:
- SpongeBob's casual sexism when calling Gary a lady as a put down ends with Sandy giving him a swift kick in the ass the next day. As for his mistreatment of Gary, he loses the race after SpongeBob's training proves to be too much for him and is ultimately disqualified after SpongeBob runs onto the track after Gary spins out.
- Squidward not winning the Snail Race also counts, due to his Smug Snake attitude towards SpongeBob.
- Patrick, the only sportsmanlike competitor of the three (and one shown to take very kind care of his "snail", Rocky), inexplicably wins the race.
- My God, What Have I Done?: SpongeBob, after his mistreatment leads Gary to have a Heroic RRoD.
- My Significance Sense Is Tingling: After SpongeBob's Gendered Insult moment Sandy, who is apparently miles away, suddenly feels like kicking his butt tomorrow. (See Brick Joke for the result.)
- Nice Guy: Patrick, for once, is depicted as the nice one of the bunch. In stark contrast to SpongeBob (who acts like a Drill Sergeant Nasty towards Gary and doesn't realize it until it's too late) and Squidward (who's smug and obnoxious about his snail winning), Patrick is perfectly fine with Rocky not going the minute the race starts, even telling him that he can go when he feels like it, and decides to give the trophy to Squidward because he knew how much winning meant to him (a gesture Squidward is genuinely touched by).
- Nice, Mean, and In-Between: In a strange way, Patrick is the nice, being affectionate towards Rocky and being a good sport about winning, even engraving the trophy to Squidward, SpongeBob, for once, is the mean, wanting to enter Gary in the race so he can rub victory in Squidward's face and being unbelievably harsh towards Gary both in the training regimen and the race itself, and Squidward is the in-between, being incredibly smug about wanting to win, but still treating Snellie with superiority.
- Pet the Dog:
- Patrick engraves the trophy he won in Squidward's name (something he's utterly grateful for, even though they got his name wrong).
- Squidward is also shown to be visibly shocked along with Patrick after witnessing Sandy kicking SpongeBob in the butt.
- Raw Eggs Make You Stronger: At one point, SpongeBob mixes Gary an "energy drink" which includes raw eggs, simply "'cause they're cliché!"
- Rule of Three: Squidward's last name is mispronounced three times. First as "Tennisballs", then as "Tentpoles", then finally as "Tortellini".
- Running Gag: Squidward's last name keeps getting misspelled.
- Shout-Out: Patrick's "snail" is an underdog named Rocky. You half expect the rock to start shouting "Adrien!" when he wins.
- Skewed Priorities: SpongeBob is hit by this bigtime. Special mention also goes to Squidward who bought Snellie strictly to show off in a race.
- Slow and Steady Wins the Race: Parodied. While SpongeBob and Squidward bring normal snail pets, Patrick brings a rock. It predictably doesn't move while the other snails race forward, but Gary (SpongeBob's snail) went berserk and runs out of the race line and injures himself in the end, while Squidward's snail (who's close to winning) runs to Gary instead to help him. While everyone (including the spectators) is distracted with the 2 snails, it then cuts to Patrick's rock somehow crossing the finish line.
- Take That!: The crowd going nuts for Gary's breakdown is a jab at NASCAR fans who turn up just to watch the wrecks.
- Tears of Joy: Patrick, after his... "snail" wins the race.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: Patrick gives his trophy to Squidward after "winning" the race. He probably didn't deserve it, but it's certainly one of Squidward's more positive outcomes, one for which he is grateful. There's just one problem. He misspelled Squidward's last name as...Squidward: "Tortellini?!" Will I ever win?
- Training from Hell: Deconstructed. SpongeBob decides to enter Gary in the race, and puts the snail through difficult training so he can be stronger, but instead Gary has no energy to perform well in the race.
- Underdogs Never Lose: Parodied. The constant training and yelling from SpongeBob gets to Gary and causes him to tire out, while Squidward's snail Snellie stops mid-race and falls in love with Gary, leaving Patrick's pet rock to win the race.Squidward: I can't believe it. My purebred, which cost me $1,700, lost to a rock.
- Unsportsmanlike Gloating: The reason why SpongeBob wants to enter Gary in the race? Not to let Gary have a victory or to feel pride and joy over winning the trophy, but rather...SpongeBob: Now, get out there and win! So we can rub Squidward's big, fat nose in it!
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Neither Snellie nor Rocky are mentioned again after this episode. The latter's case is justified, as Rocky is literally just a rock.
"Art thou feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?"
Mid Life Crustacean
Original air date: 1/24/2003 (produced in 2002; first aired in Canada on 11/6/02)
Mr. Krabs is starting to show his age, so he decides to hang out with some hip young people to feel young again. Unfortunately, he picks SpongeBob and Patrick.
"Mid Life Crustacean" provides examples of:
- Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable: Krabs tries to pronounce "coral" as "corrahl" to make it sound cooler.
- Alliteration & Adventurers: SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs play a Dungeons & Dragons-like game called "P&P".
- Be Careful What You Wish For: All Mr. Krabs wanted was to feel young. At the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs is grounded to his childhood bedroom, and a resigned Mr. Krabs states that he certainly feels younger.
- Bittersweet Ending: Mr. Krabs is grounded by his mother for joining the panty raid while SpongeBob and Patrick receive no punishment for it. On the upside, SpongeBob does apologize to Mr. Krabs, who now definitely feels younger, as his bedroom is still adorned with his bed and toys from his childhood.
- Book Ends: The episode begins with Mr. Krabs getting out of bed and being reminded he's not getting any younger, and ends with him going to bed in his childhood bedroom after he's grounded by Mama Krabs.
- Brick Joke:
- The fish scout.
- "Style!"
- "Not lame!"
- Dinner Deformation: When Krabs has to take his morning pill, which is twice as wide as his whole head.
- Dirty Old Man: Mr. Krabs is familiar with the concept of a panty raid and was willing to partake in one in a bid to feel young again.
- Failed a Spot Check: Krabs is totally unaware the house that SpongeBob and Patrick pick to panty raid is his own mother's.
- Foreshadowing: Their are several scenes that show that SpongeBob and Patrick aren’t as cool as they think.
- The “Secret Cool Guy” handshake is just shaking hands and pleasant greeting.
- When Mr. Krabs tells them to arrive at his house at 8:00 PM, SpongeBob warns that they are always “fashionably late”. They arrive at 8:01.
- Gross-Up Close-Up: On Krabs's sleep crust and barnacle-covered eyes as he wakes up in the beginning of the episode and his multiple, flabby, hairy chins when he goes to look in the mirror.
- Helping Granny Cross the Street: A boy scout walks Mr. Krabs by the hand, with him resenting the implication that he's old.
- Hollywood Board Games: Bob and Patrick's attempt to make Mr. Krabs feel younger by playing a Dungeons & Dragons knock-off. It backfires and Mr. Krabs accuses the boys of being nerds and geeks.
- Hollywood Mid-Life Crisis: The episode centers on Mr. Krabs having a mid-life crisis.
- I Resemble That Remark!:Mr. Krabs: You're nerds, geeks, creeps...and babies!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Not babies! [they start sucking their thumbs] - Idiot Houdini: SpongeBob and Patrick bail when Mama Krabs turns up, leaving Mr. Krabs to take all the heat for going through her lingerie. This is especially bad since they've apparently raided her house many times already, while Mr. Krabs was unaware of whose house it was. Although SpongeBob does apologize to Mr. Krabs for getting him grounded that night.
- Incredibly Lame Fun: SpongeBob and Patrick's "night of debauchery" includes such activities as going to a laundromat and watching washing machines, picking up trash under the highway, sitting in a kiddie pool, playing a Dungeons & Dragons-like game, and going to a Suck E. Cheese's.
- Likes Older Women: Implied. As it turns out, Mr. Krabs' mother was the target of SpongeBob and Patrick's panty raid.
- No Indoor Voice: SpongeBob and Patrick, who scream in excitement about their big night out when they're mere feet away from one another... with Squidward right between them!
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: You know his depression is serious when Mr. Krabs doesn't obsess over money once in the entire episode.
- Overly Long Gag:
- SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs shouting "Are you/I'm ready to party!" to one another.
- "Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?"
- Panty Thieves: SpongeBob and Patrick take Mr. Krabs on a "panty raid". Unfortunately, the house they raid belongs to Krabs' mother.
- Punctuality Is for Peasants: Parodied. Mr. Krabs tell SpongeBob and Patrick to meet him at his home at 8:00 pm, but SpongeBob warns him that they are always "fashionably late". Smash Cut to a time card showing them arriving at 8:01 pm.
- Putting the Pee in Pool: Implied when SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs hang out in a kiddie pool.SpongeBob: Are you feelin' it now, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: I'm feelin' a warm spot.
Patrick: (embarrassed) Sorry. - Rage Breaking Point: "You want to know what I'm feeling'? I'M FEELIN' LIKE A TOTAL BARNACLE HEAD!!!"
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Mr. Krabs gives a damning one to SpongeBob and Patrick when they waste his time on every uncool activity in the book, and calls the two of them lame right to their appalled faces.Mr. Krabs: You think this is cool?! How about this?! (punches the head of the Suck E. Cheese's mascot robot off) And this?! (stomps the robot) Am I with it now?! You two wouldn't know a good time if it bit you in the aft end! I'm going home. You guys ain't cool! You're lame!
SpongeBob: L-Lame?
Mr. Krabs: Lame! You're nerds! Geeks! Creeps! And babies!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Not babies! (start to suck their thumbs)
Mr. Krabs: I may be old, but even an old bag of shells like me knows that you haven't suggested one cool thing all night! So, good night to ya'. - Right on Queue: Mr. Krabs sees a long line of senior citizens leading to the cemetery. After running away screaming "I ain't old!", we see that the line is actually for an ice-cream cart next to the cemetery.
- Secret Handshake: Patrick tests Mr. Krabs if he's cool enough to join them. Mr. Krabs, taking a shot in the dark, just shakes Patrick's hand and passes.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here:
- Mr. Krabs finally becomes fed up with the duo's Incredibly Lame Fun and tells them off before deciding he's done for the night. That is until Patrick brings up the panty raid.
- SpongeBob and Patrick run off when they get caught by Mama Krabs, leaving Mr. Krabs to take the blame for their antics.
- Shout-Out: "P&P" is a parody of D&D.
- Still Sucks Thumb: SpongeBob and Patrick suck their thumbs after Mr. Krabs calls them babies.
- Totally Radical: Pearl explains to Krabs that kids don't say "cool" anymore, they say "coral" instead. She becomes appalled when her father adopts it and calls her friends to say that "Coral is definitely out."
- Visual Pun: When Mr. Krabs spies on SpongeBob and Patrick talking about their big night out:Mr. Krabs: Hey boys, hangin' out?
Patrick: (with his tummy hanging out of his pants) Yes. - Wham Line: Mr. Krabs becomes fed up with SpongeBob and Patrick's Incredibly Lame Fun, denounces them as lame and goes back for home. But then Patrick entices him back with this surprising exchange:Patrick: I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.
- And later, who's house do they raid from?: "Eugene?!" "MOTHER?!"
- You Are Grounded!: Krabs is sent to his room by his mother for going through her underwear drawer.
- You Didn't Ask: "Why didn't you tell me this was my mother's house?!"
