The most amazing... mysterious... powerful secret in all of Bikini Bottom!
The Secret Box
Original air date: 9/7/2001
SpongeBob has discovered something: Patrick has a box with a secret inside. At first he doesn't seem to care, but as the possibilities creep upon him... What if it's a huge diamond, severed heads of Patrick's victims, or worse yet—an embarrassing picture of him at the Christmas party!? So SpongeBob devises a plan to separate Patrick from his box long enough to see what's inside.
"The Secret Box" contains examples of:
- Animate Inanimate Object: One quick gag shows that even Squidward's house wants to see what's in Patrick's secret box.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: As SpongeBob ponders what's in Patrick's box.SpongeBob: What could be in that box that Patrick doesn't want me to see? Maybe it's the world's only albino jellyfish. Or maybe Patrick's a master jewel thief and it's full of diamonds. Or maybe he's a deranged maniac who keeps his victims' severed heads in a box. Or even worse... maybe it's an embarrassing snapshot of me from the Christmas party! note
- Batman Gambit: After numerous threats of ending their friendship, Patrick finally gets SpongeBob to stop harassing him by letting him actually see inside the box and find a string, thinking it's just Patrick being Patrick again, when it turns out the string revealed the actual secret by pulling on it.
- Bottle Episode: The episode is set only at SpongeBob's home lane.
- Brick Joke:
- SpongeBob was right: Patrick's box does contain an embarrassing snapshot of him from the Christmas party!
- SpongeBob reveals he sleeps with his shoes on and when we see him at night he does exactly that.
- The Cuckoolander Was Right: SpongeBob was right on the money when he guessed what was the secret Patrick was hiding from him.
- Department of Redundancy Department:
- "It's no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly."
- "Inside this very box is the most secrety secret in all of secretdom."
- Don't Wake the Sleeper: And SpongeBob actually doesn't despite the extremely loud sound effects all of his stealth attempts make....at least until he comments to himself relatively quietly that Patrick is a very heavy sleeper.
- Dramatic Gun Cock: Patrick does this with his pillow when he thinks SpongeBob is a burglar and tells him to "prepare for the most unpleasant pillow fight of your life".
- Dramatic Irony: Thanks to the audience getting to see Patrick's perspective during the Twist Ending, millions of people across the world know what's really the secret behind the secret box, and yet SpongeBob still has no idea that it's actually an embarrassing snapshot of him from the Christmas party.
- Elderly Future Fantasy: Combined with a flashback in a Good-Times Montage, SpongeBob envisions him and Patrick still laughing together as old men in their rocking chairs and even buried next to each other in neighboring graves with their spirits giving off muffled laughter.
- Embarrassing Old Photo: SpongeBob thinks that Patrick has an embarrassing photo of him at the Christmas party in his secret box. Turns out, he's right.
- Five-Second Foreshadowing:
- When SpongeBob trips on his shoelaces, he splits a picture of him and Patrick on the wall in half; this foreshadows the consequences of stealing the secret box, and the distrust he's giving Patrick which he accuses him of when he awakens, which threatens to end their friendship.
- When SpongeBob sees the string in the box, he doesn't take it out of the box or does he ask Patrick why he keeps a string there. The moment SpongeBob is out of sight, Patrick reveals the string needs to be pulled to open the secret compartment to reveal the embarrassing photo.
- Upon close inspection, the farthest end of the string appears to be fastened on to something.
- The string is called a "secret" string by Patrick, foreshadowing there's a lot more to it than just being inside the box.
- Foreshadowing: During SpongeBob's stealthy attempt to get to the box, he gets stuck in Patrick's arms. Patrick proceeds to pull on SpongeBob's tongue while muttering in his sleep about seeing what's inside the secret box, foreshadowing the function of the string.
- Friendship Trinket: "It's the Best Friends Forever, Best Friends Forever ring!"
- Genius Loci: This episode implies Squidward's house is this, considering it tries to peek on Patrick's secret box at one point.
- Heavy Sleeper: Patrick sleeps through all the noise SpongeBob makes while trying to sneak in, but it's the whispering that wakes him up.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: SpongeBob and Patrick, as usual, Patrick revealing how they joined the Best Friends Forever Club with matching rings. The following flashback reveals that the two have been friends since they were babies and at least SpongeBob wants that to continue into old age and even their neighboring graves. It's the threat of ending this friendship that (temporarily) makes SpongeBob back off from discovering the secret. The rings are even set to play a jingle with miniature figures singing a recording."It's the Best Friends Forever, Best Friends Forever—RING~!"
- Locked Out of the Loop: SpongeBob, from the secret of the secret box. By episode's end, all he saw was just a string, and to this day, he still doesn't know the real secret...
- MacGuffin: The secret box.
- Malicious Misnaming:Patrick: Hands off, PeepingBob!
Patrick: Listen up, SpongeBob SecretStealerPants! If you ever come near my secret box again, WE WON'T BE FRIENDS ANYMORE! - Medium-Shift Gag: The live-action milk carton tipping over in Patrick's thought bubble.
- Minimalist Cast: The only characters present are SpongeBob, Patrick and Gary, though Squidward is mentioned.
- Non Sequitur: Quoth Patrick. "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." (cut to milk carton tipping over)
- Noodle Incident: Whatever the "embarrassing photo" of SpongeBob at the Christmas party is.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Patrick being who he is, it's entirely reasonable that SpongeBob would accept a single piece of string in a box as the "secret" he was hiding from everyone. The ending hints that Patrick expected this, and uses the piece of string to hide the real secret, an embarrassing snapshot of SpongeBob at the Christmas party.
- Red Herring: At first SpongeBob is led to believe there's just a string inside that box, but once he leaves, Patrick reveals he didn't pull it, which in turn reveals the embarrassing photo.
- Series Continuity Error: One of SpongeBob's secrets is he was never late for work, yet back in "Hooky", he was late (by only two minutes, but still).
- Shout-Out: Patrick refers to SpongeBob dressed as a bandit as the "Clamburglar".
- So Much for Stealth: As SpongeBob sneaks inside Patrick's house, his footsteps make loud, incongruous noises. After all that racket fails to wake Patrick up, he whispers about what a heavy sleeper Patrick is... which is what wakes Patrick up.
- Stocking Mask: SpongeBob wears pantyhose on his head when sneaking into Patrick's home. His head briefly takes the shape of a leg when he snaps it on.
- Suddenly Speaking:SpongeBob: Good idea, eh Gary?
Gary: Eeeeh... (with a voice reminiscent of Squidward's) NO. - Surreal Humor: "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." (milk carton tips over)
- Tempting Fate: Even after all the stupidly loud noises SpongeBob makes while sneaking around Patrick's house, Patrick still doesn't wake up. Then this happens:SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick sure is a heavy sleeper.
Patrick: (instantly wakes up) Huh?! Who said that?! Who's there?! - Threatening to Cut Ties: Subverted; Patrick threatens to stop being friends with SpongeBob if he comes near his secret box. After Patrick catches SpongeBob trying to steal his box, he's about to make good on his threat... but decides to forgive SpongeBob.
- Together in Death: Implied in SpongeBob's Elderly Future Fantasy, where his and Patrick's graves are next to each other and their muffled laughter implies that their spirits are still hanging out together as best friends.
- The Un-Reveal: Double-subverted. The inside of Patrick's box is revealed to contain nothing more than a piece of string. However, once SpongeBob is out of sight, he reveals pulling the string opens up a secret compartment on the box, containing... an embarrassing snapshot of SpongeBob from the Christmas party!
- "What's Inside?" Plot: Spongebob spends the episode trying to find out what's inside the box.
- With Catlike Tread: Actually averted. Despite all the ridiculously loud noises SpongeBob makes while sneaking through Patrick's house, Patrick doesn't wake up. But when SpongeBob comments to himself what a Heavy Sleeper Patrick is (in a barely audible whisper), then Patrick instantly wakes up.
"That's his... eager face."
Band Geeks
Original air date: 9/7/2001
Squidward's old rival, Squilliam Fancyson, calls him to gloat that he's fulfilling Squidward's dream of leading a band at the Bubble Bowl. But since Squilliam can't make it, he dares Squidward to form a marching band of his own within a week, which Squidward accepts. He rounds up many of Bikini Bottom's citizens and throughout the week, instructs them how to play their instruments, which nobody makes any progress on. On the night before the big show, an all-out brawl breaks out between the band members. At the end of class, Squidward chews out the band for ruining his dream and walks off dejected. Feeling bad for Squidward, the band, under SpongeBob's guidance, vow to make Squidward proud with their performance. On the day of the Bubble Bowl, Squilliam shows up to see Squidward make a fool out of himself, when to Squidward's surprise, his band shows up in full regalia. At the performance, everyone is surprised when SpongeBob and the band pull of a magnificent rock performance. Squilliam suffers a heart attack and is wheeled to the hospital while Squidward conducts his band in "sweet victory".
"Band Geeks" is a fan-favorite and currently stands at #1 on the SpongeBob SquarePants Best Episode Crowner
, and possibly forever will be. See also: SpongeBob SquarePants Music.
"Band Geeks" contains examples of:
- Answer Cut:Squidward: People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?
Plankton: (shouting) CORRECT! - Asshole Victim: Squilliam having a heart attack in the finale. Well, of course, he deserved it after all he did to Squidward.
- Band Episode: Squidward organizes a band to play the Bubble Bowl.
- Bat Family Crossover: The entire SpongeBob cast ends up being rallied as part of Squidward's band, and each character is given their own moment to shine.
- Big Ball of Violence: Happens twice. First, when Patrick kicks Sandy, which causes her to attack him resulting into one of these. Second, when the entire band get into a fight, however, the dust cloud is only seen for one second before it clears to reveal the brawl.
- Black Comedy:
- Squidward saying "too bad that didn't kill me," and two fish destroying a blimp and dying (complete with one of the trumpet players playing "Taps" while several others respectfully place their hands over their hearts). It doesn't help that these were the last episodes originally aired before the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
- Squilliam apparently has an actual heart attack at the climax, complete with paramedics carrying him out on a stretcher. Then again, he was a jackass to Squidward anyways.
- Blah, Blah, Blah: The ambient noise of everyone talking before practice is revealed to be everyone just saying "blah blah blah".
- Break the Haughty: Squilliam gets this at the ending when he sees that Squidward's band is actually really good, and performs like a rock band to boot.
- Brick Joke: After Patrick kicks Sandy at the beginning, she fights him all the way outside and stuffs him into a trombone. During the huge brawl at the end, Patrick kicks Sandy again and she chases after him with a trumpet.
- Brown Note:
- "If we play loud, people might think we're good."
- Also, the finale song gives Squilliam a heart attack.
- Bullying a Dragon: Patrick for kicking Sandy in her heinie. Twice. (The first time he kicked her, it was accidental, but the second time was intentional.)
- Butt-Monkey: Squidward for most of the episode. At least he gets a happier ending this time around.
- The Cake Is a Lie: Squidward tries to get everyone to join his band by lying that there will be free refreshments. The first night of band practice, Mr. Krabs asks, "When do we get the free food?"
- Comedic Sociopathy: Squidward gleefully waving at Squilliam as the latter's carried away on a stretcher after a heart attack.
- Conflict Ball: The band members begin arguing and fighting each other after they fail to play really loud, with Harold thinking they wouldn't be so bad if "some people didn't try to play with big, meaty claws," clearly directing it at Mr. Krabs. When Spongebob tries to stop a fight from breaking out, Nancy, for no particular reason, annoyedly notes that the "talking cheese is going to preach to us." Then, the second the clock hits 10, everyone immediately stops and heads out.
- Continuity Nod: At one point during the start of "Sweet Victory", you can see the friendship ring on SpongeBob's finger from the last episode.
- Cumbersome Claws: After a failed band practice, Harold blames their failure on Mr. Krabs attempting to play his instrument with claws. He takes offense to this, causing a fight to break out.Harold: Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some of us weren't trying to play with big, meaty claws!
Mr. Krabs: What did you say, punk?!
Harold: Big! Meaty! CLAWS!
Mr. Krabs: Well, these claws aren't just for attractin' mates! - Despair Speech: Squidward's response after seeing the band's in-fighting on the night before the Bubble Bowl.
- Disproportionate Retribution: While Patrick shouldn't have kicked Sandy, even by accident, her response to it being stuffing him into a trombone is a bit extreme no matter how hilarious it is.
- Dissension Remorse: "What kind of monsters are we?"
- Due to the Dead: Everyone shows complete respect when the flag twirlers accidentally crash into a blimp. One of the trumpet players even starts playing "Taps".
- Dumb and Drummer:
- Patrick, who plays the drums for the big performance at the Bubble Bowl.
- The entire drum section of the band was this at the beginning, as they tried to play by blowing into their drumsticks.
- Earn Your Happy Ending: The first Squidward-centric episode to end on this.
- Epic Fail:
- Squidward orders his "flag twirlers" to spin faster. They end up turning into ad-hoc propeller planes and crashing into a blimp.
- On the last night of practice, he comes up with the crack hypothesis of playing really loud to give the impression of competence. When the band tries to practice playing loud, they end up blowing out every window in the building.
- Everyone Has Standards: Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, and several other band members respectfully place their hands over their hearts when two flag twirlers crash into a blimp and explode. Squidward's Troubled Fetal Position during this could also imply that he was horrified with what he accidentally caused.
- Eye Pop: Squidward does one when he's surprised by the band showing up.
- Fantastic Racism:
- A fish thinks people with "big meaty claws" can't play music.
- Another fish calls SpongeBob "talking cheese" while seemingly taking offense to him "preaching to us," even though he was only trying to stop a fight from breaking out.
- Freeze-Frame Ending: The episode ends on a freeze-frame of Squidward jumping in triumph.
- Funny Background Event: In the shot that features everyone stopping mid-fight to realize that class is over, SpongeBob is shown holding up a dismembered hand. Thought it's either his own arm or a fake one, considering his goodhearted nature and his track record when it comes to actual fighting.
- Glass-Shattering Sound: Squidward tries to get everyone to play loud, the idea being "if we play loud, people might think we're good!" So everyone practices playing loud and every single window in the building explodes.
- Gone Horribly Right: "Flag twirlers, let's move! Come on!" They move faster, alright...and then take off into the air and crash into a blimp.
- Go-Karting with Bowser: Plankton is among the members of Squidward's band and never shows any hostility to any other characters, including Mr. Krabs. Plankton never even interacts with Mr. Krabs the entire episode. He comes together with the rest of the band for Squidward all the same at the end.
- Hands Go Down:Patrick: Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Squidward: No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. (Patrick's hand goes down; he raises it again) Horseradish is not an instrument either.
(Patrick puts his hand down again) - Hate Sink: Squilliam is as much of a Jerkass as one can be without being a villain. He's rich, successful, and loves nothing better than to rub his success in Squidward's face. The episode is started because he calls up Squidward to tell him he's living his dream of having a band play at the Bubble Bowl, just to rub it in his face. At the end of the episode he arrived at the Bubble Bowl, just so he could have fun watching Squidward fail.
- Hats Off to the Dead: After the baton twirlers crash into a blimp, the other band members take off their hats while the trumpet player plays Taps.
- Hold Your Hippogriffs: Squidward refers to a rental clerk who made him late as a "trilobite" in the same way a human might derisively call someone a "dinosaur".
- Hollywood Heart Attack: Squilliam at the end.
- Hollywood Tone-Deaf: In a non-singing example, Squidward's band is this, until they get their act together. The sound designers for this episode tried getting an actual band to play as badly as possible, but they didn't sound horrible enough, so they eventually had the instrument sounds recorded by people with no musical experience whatsoever.
- Humans Are Ugly: Patrick and other characters assume the human spectators at the game are supposed to be fish — hence, "some ugly-looking fish".
- Implementing the Incomplete: Squidward is basically forced to do this after making the dare with Squilliam.
- Insane Troll Logic: Spongebob's motivational speech to help Squidward boils down to this, via a Bait-and-Switch. He initially asks Evelyn and Larry about who helped them through a crisis in their lives, as if to imply that it was Squidward who was always there for them, only for both to give relatively mundane answers (A fireman and "some guy in an ambulance", respectively). But then Spongebob posits that they should just pretend that Squidward is a fireman or "some guy in an ambulance" (instead of, you know, just plain old Squidward) in order to be motivated to actually help him. It works, but it also implies for poor Squidward that the rest of the Bikini Bottomites don't really care enough about Squidward to actually help him for the sake of helping him.
- Instant Flight: Just Add Spinning!: The baton twirlers twirl so fast they fly off and crash into a blimp.
- Is It Something You Eat?: Patrick's answers to Squidward's question if anyone has played an instrument before is if condiments he's eaten are instruments.
- iSophagus: After Patrick gets shoved through a trombone by Sandy, he makes trombone sounds as he walks towards his seat. He makes another trombone sound once the valve slide moves the second he sits down (the sound even came out of his mouth).
- Just Here for the Free Snacks: Mr. Krabs joins Squidward's band because the flyer promised free refreshments. At the first meeting he asks "When do we get to the free food?"
- Kick the Dog: Squilliam's Establishing Character Moment. He calls Squidward to tell him that his band is playing at the Bubble Bowl. Why? To rub it in Squidward's face that he's living his dream.
- Larynx Dissonance: During the band's performance, the normally squeaky-voiced SpongeBob sings with a deep, powerful arena rock voice.
- Literal Ass-Kicking: Patrick literally kicks Sandy's butt, twice. Both times, she strikes back.
- Manly Tears: Two of the audience members at the Bubble Bowl are seen with their arms around each other's shoulders, while they're wiping away their tears.
- Mid-Battle Tea Break: The big melee breaks up when the clock strikes the end of band practice, and everyone starts leaving as if nothing had happened.
- Oh, Crap!: Squidward right before the performance when he sees his band, thinking they'll embarrass him.
- Overly Long Gag: Plankton's harmonica solo.
- The Power of Rock: The ending features the cast performing the Arena Rock song "Sweet Victory".
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: "Big. Meaty. Claws!"
- Raised Lighter Tribute: During the band's performance of "Sweet Victory", the live-action people in the stadium audience hold and wave lighters.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: When Squidward calls out on everyone for the failure.Squidward: Well, you did it. You took my one chance at happiness... and crushed it! Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-sized pieces! I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all... died in a marching accident. So, thanks! (sobbing) Thanks for nothing! (leaves)
Patrick: (beat) You're welcome. - Repurposed Pop Song: The end of the episode features the cast miming to David Glen Eisley's "Sweet Victory (The Winner Takes All)," originally written in 1997, released in 1998, and made far more popular by this episode.
- Roger Rabbit Effect: The band perform in front of a live-action crowd, which the characters comment on.Patrick: Those are some ugly-looking fish.
SpongeBob: Maybe we're near one of those toxic waste dumps.
Mr. Krabs: I think I'm gonna be sick! - Rousing Speech: SpongeBob gives one to rally up the band members, though it only succeeds by having the band pretend that Squidward is someone that they actually care about.
- Scream Discretion Shot: "Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on."
- Singing Voice Dissonance: SpongeBob normally doesn't sound like David Glen Eisley when he sings.
- Spoof Aesop: If someone who has never been there for you asks you to come through for them, just pretend they're someone else who has been there for you.
- Stylistic Suck: Squidward's marching band is quite bad, so much so that the one time they actually try marching, the color guard accidentally kill themselves by flying into a blimp.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: Squidward at the end; after having to put up with all the Bikini Bottomites' frustrating antics and being certain that he was going to be humiliated in front of Squilliam yet again, it turns out that his band had become hyper competent and they play beautifully, so much so that Squilliam goes into cardiac arrest. The last shot is of Squidward leaping in excitement while "Sweet Victory" plays.
- Tired After the Song: Plankton is practicing his harmonica solo, but he's so small he has to run back and forth, until he's exhausted and collapses on the floor.
- Took a Level in Badass: In a musical, non-violent example, Squidward's miserably pathetic band absolutely rocks the Bubble Bowl at the end.
- Tranquil Fury: "What did you say, punk?"
- Troubled Fetal Position: After the flag twirlers helicopter themselves into a blimp and blow themselves up, Squidward, with a look of absolute despair, lies on the ground on his side while while a trumpeter plays "Taps".
- Villainous Breakdown: Squilliam is so shocked at the band's stunning performance that he suffers a heart attack and gets carried away in a stretcher.
- What the Hell, Hero?: After the fight is over, Squidward called everyone out for their uncooperative behavior.
- "YEAH!" Shot: The episode ends with a freeze-frame of Squidward triumphantly leaping into the air.
And it's sweeeeet, sweeeeet, sweet victory, yeah!
