With Jane Russell?! Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease...
Well, I guess that leaves it to me, Televisio Frankus, to tell you that your experiment today is Outlaw, starring the very hugable Jack Palance! "The anvil that men do last long, the ghoul is often furred in their homes."
—TV's Frank, dressed like an Ancient Roman
Film watched: Outlaw
The episode is available in the Gizmoplex here
, and on the MST3k YouTube channel here.
The Segments:
Prologue- Mike and Crow roughhouse on the bridge. Tom wants to take part, but Mike goes a bit too far by accidentally trapping him in the ceiling.
Segment 1/Invention Exchange
- The Mads have created the world's first Really Real Time Machine, which is totally not just a booth they use to change into period costumes. The illusion is shattered Dr. F ends up a caveman and Frank as a Roman. Mike and the 'Bots show off the Fabio Kit, which comes with perfectly bronzed chin and chest enhancements, as well as a rich blond wig.
Segment 2
- Crow and Tom have found Mike's old theater scrapbook. It turns out that he wore a sailor suit in every show he ever performed in, even when it wasn't necessary.
Segment 3
- Getting in touch with their inner vaudevillian performers, Mike and the 'Bots sing "Tubular Boobular", inspired by all the stripperific outfits in the film.
Segment 4
- The SOL crew finds Jack Palance's autobiography, and they read his entries during the making of today's film. The gradually disgusting anecdotes shared causes them to step away from it while, until Crow finds a whole chapter dedicated to Tango & Cash.
Segment 5
- Mike and the 'Bots present a montage of all the butt shots from the film, even scenes cut from the episode for broadcast length. Dr. F and Frank dance down in Deep 13 to various musical styles throughout time... for no discernible reason.
The Mystery Science Theater 3000 presentation of Outlaw features examples of:
- Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Jack Palance's diaryServo: (mimicking Palance) "Day 10. Missed call. I think I..." (normal voice) "I think I killed a man today, more later"?!
- The gang decides they've had enough and walk away from the book - til Crow exclaims that it has an entire chapter on Tango & Cash.Mike: (mimicking Palance) "Saw Russell's butt today!"
- The gang decides they've had enough and walk away from the book - til Crow exclaims that it has an entire chapter on Tango & Cash.
- Call-Back: A few:
- "I sing wherever I sing wherever I sing..."
- "He looks like a happy pig!"
- "Harry Alan TOWERRRRRS!"
- "My-my-my-my Mitchell!"
- "Oh no, they're on the Moon Zero Two set!"
- "Watch out for snakes!"
- "Sa... sa..." "Sampo!"
- "Uh-oh. Warrior of the Lost World set."
- "You can't kill me, I quit!"
- "Thanks, Daddy-O."
- Canis Latinicus: TV's Frank dresses as an ancient Roman after a trip through Dr. Forrester's fake time machine, and refers to himself as "Televisio Frankus".
- Drinking Game: Servo suggests drinking every time the annoying sidekick says Cabot's name. According to IMDb, the name is said fifty-five times throughout, mostly by the sidekick.
- End of an Age: The final episode (until the 2017 reboot) with an "invention exchange". Kevin Murphy explained in the ACEG:"Right about this time we stopped doing invention exchanges. Let's face it, Joel was the gizmocrat, the one who brought that invention exchange spirit on board. And Mike? Well, let's put it this way. Mike is not an inventor. Creative, yes, artistic, sure. Innovative, clever, resourceful, all of these and more. But the sight of a screwdriver puts him in a cold sweat. He used to hire kids to build his car models. I had to explain to him what a lawn mower does. We wrote the instructions on how to change the toilet paper roll right on the wall so he wouldn't be embarrassed. Mike is many things, but he is not a tinkerer."
- Fridge Horror: It's only after it's explicitly pointed out that Mike suddenly realizes he wore a lot of sailor outfits during his theater career, even in productions that didn't require it.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Invoked by Servo after Watney explains he's so into girls.
- Hurricane of Euphemisms: "Tubular Boobular Joy" does this: in song!
- Kill Him Already!: Mike and the Bots quickly get tired of Cabot's nerdy sidekick, Watney Smith, when the two end up on Gor and Watney starts demanding an explanation.Mike, Tom, Crow: (chanting) Kill him, kill him, kill him...
Mike: No one would see if you killed him now!
Crow: He'd probably get a free drink at the Pullman. - Lowest Common Denominator: Invoked, as every single one of the USA Network original films that the guys come up with during the creditsnote — have razor-thin plots that can easily accommodate a whole bunch of violence and cheesecake nudity, and, importantly, all feature actors that at the time were either washed up or willing to really slum it (Jeff Conaway's name appears no less than SIX times).
- Malaproper: While dressed in Imperial Roman garb, Frank misquotes Shakespeare's Julius Caesar:Original line: The evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones.
Frank: The anvil that men do last long, the ghoul is often furred in their homes. - Old Shame: In-universe, averted for the most part, as Mike doesn't seem that embarrassed about his early acting career. That said, he did seem to wear a lot of sailor suits. Even for Death of a Salesman, Waiting for Godot, Hamlet, Richard III, Inherit the Wind, Oh! Calcutta! ... Not even Mike realised this until the 'Bots point it out, leading to some relatively mild Fridge Horror on Mike's part.Servo: (on Mike in Oh! Calcutta) WOW, THAT'S NAUGHTY!... You'd be nude if not for the sailor suit.
- Overly Long Gag:"Missed call!"
- The USA Network movie titles during the end credits. Pretty much any time the riffed movie was new enough to have long end credits!
- Running Gag: Replying to the frequent questions by the film's cast of "What/Where the hell is _________?" with "It's/You're the hell here!"
- Product Placement: Parodied during a scene where Xeno the priest walks up to a pair of guards playing a board game.Crow: (as Xeno) Are you playing Ringmar™, Game of Gor™?
- Sanity Slippage: The Mads seem to have lost their minds at the end.
- Say My Name: An absurd case; not only does useless little Watney repeatedly call out for Cabot, but the instant he returns to the city, everyone runs around shouting his name (a total of 19 times in about 90 seconds). It really starts to wear on the guys after a while.Marlenus: Cabot! CABOT! Cabot...
Servo: So, Cabot, then.
[...]
Marlenus: Cabot! It is Cabot; he has returned, my darling! CABOT!
Mike: "Oh, it's a different Cabot."
[...]
Marlenus: CABOTTTT!
Talena: Cabot?
Crow: So, uh, Cabot's coming, then?
Servo: Yeah, pretty much.
(All three, in agreement, repeat "Cabot" for a while)
Mike: Personally, I think Cabot is highly overrated, but... eh.
Talena: CAAAAAABOT!
Servo: (Getting annoyed) So our hero's name is WHAT, again?
Mike: (Sagely) Cabot. - Shout-Out:
- "Oh no, they're in Ishtar!"
- Many, many references to Palance's distinctive voice and his previous roles. One early and memorable example:Crow: (as Xeno walks toward the Home Stone) Well, what do you know, he crapped bigger than menote ...
Mike: Er, Crow, I think I know where you're going with that, and — enough, let's stop there. - When Watney greets someone by saying, "Tull," Crow hums the opening of "Aqualung".
- "It's good to be the king."
- Squick: Invoked by Mike and the bots, who have this reaction when Cabot and Talena make out.Crow: He dislocated his mandible!
- Take a Third Option:Lara: There's a prisoner loose in the desert, and I want him back alive. Bring him to me and you shall receive 50,000 tusks. Dead? Nothing!
Mike: Wounded? We can prorate it, we'll talk about that... - Take Our Word for It:
- The Mads' time machine.
- Cabot's car is shown rocking with light flashing. It then immediately cuts to Cabot and Watney in a desert.Crow: Sorry, folks, we simply could not afford any special effects!
- Throw It In!: In-universe, a few jokes are made of Palance supposedly going off-script, like when he accuses the queen of acting like a "bitch in heat".
- Title Confusion: The title Outlaw was only used for this episode. It was released elsewhere as either Outlaw of Gor or Gor II. Crow understandably thinks at first it's the film starring Jane Russell, especially since Howard Hughes heavily promoted Russell's breasts. (George S. Kaufman stated, "They ought to call it 'A Sale of Two Titties'".)
- Visual Pun: Mike's pose for Inherit the Wind makes it look like he's farting.
- Wham Line: In-Universe. Mike and the bots find an autobiography with journal excerpts on Palance's experiences making Outlaw. They're having fun reading about Jack's drunkenness and the general lack of care on set when they get to an entry that reads "I think I killed a man. More later". They conclude that it's time to put down the book for a while... note
- Why We Can't Have Nice Things: Invoked by Gypsy at the boys' roughhousing.
- Worth It: In the movie, after Watney outs Lara for having killed Marlenus, the Hunter immediately kills her with a spear despite her demands to kill the others. Tom Servo decides to treat his action as less absolute, and more "Eh, why not?"Tom Servo: (as the Hunter hefts his spear) "Should I... oh, what the hell. Here ya go."
