"Alright, I think you two gentlemen are pretty damn hilarious, however I want a good, clean roast. No cheap shots. No dirty jokes. No funny stuff...well, maybe some funny stuff. Now let's get it on!"
—Mills Lane
The thirteenth episode of the second season of Celebrity Deathmatch, also known as Salute to Laughter.
This episode consists of three pre-determined fights. The first undercard fight features prop comedian Carrot Top taking on the sharp-minded Dennis Miller. The second undercard fight sees seasoned comedians Rodney Dangerfield and Don Rickles take part in a literal comedy roast. The main event of the night features a fatal three-way in the name of charity, between comedians Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams.
This episode contains examples of:
- Ass Shove: Miller shoves an air pump into Carrot Top's butt and manages to inflate him into a balloon.
- Berserk Button: Nick does not take kindly to being directly insulted, even if it's by a comedian that specializes in dishing insults.
- Bystander Syndrome: Goldberg refuses to participate in the fight until viewers start calling and donating money. She's eventually forced to fight when Williams dispatches Crystal.
- Call-Back: After raising $2 million at the end of the main event, Johnny gives the cheque to Adam Sandler's liver...the same liver that he was thrown by in his fight against Chris Rock in the previous season.
- The Cameo: This episode features appearances from Joe Piscopo (and, to an extent, Puff Daddy, Trent Reznor, Prince, John Tesh, Courtney Love, and Bob Dylan).
- Character Catchphrase: Miller utters his signature rant preface several times during his fight.Miller: "I don't want to go off on a rant here..."
- Comedic Spanking: Williams manages to place Crystal over his knee and spank him until he wears a hole in Crystal's pants.
- Dine and Dash: The reason why Dangerfield and Rickles are fighting is because Rickles skipped out on paying his share of the bill when the two had lunch together.
- Dude, Where's My Respect?: True to his nature, Dangerfield brings up the lack of respect he gets on a few occasions during the fight.
- Ear Ache: Williams manages to rip off both of Crystal's ears with his bear hands.
- Edible Ammunition: After Piscopo bombs his open-mic set, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin shoots him with a cannon that shoots nothing but fruit.
- Explosive Punch: Dangerfield manages to defeat Rickles with one of these, sending pieces of his opponent all over the grill built into the ring.
- Extendo Boxing Glove: Carrot Top gets in a few good hits on Miller using a cuckoo clock that's been fitted with a boxing glove.
- Eye Pop: Rickles chokes Dangerfield by tightening his tie, to the point where his eyes bulge out.
- Groin Attack:
- Rickles uses a pair of oversized tongs to pick up a piece of red-hot charcoal and shove them down Dangerfield's pants.
- Williams is subject to this by BOTH of his opponents - Crystal hits him with his cane, and Goldberg just straight-up kicks him.
- Half the Man He Used to Be: Goldberg ends up winning the fight by placing Williams in a headlock, before tearing him in half with her foot.
- Head Crushing: While not fatal, Carrot Top repeatedly crushes Miller's head between two giant wooden clubs.
- Inflating Body Gag: Miller turns Carrot Top into a living balloon after he stabs him with an air pump.
- Knee Capping: Williams gives a swift kick to Crystal's kneecap after the latter accidentally hits him with his cane.
- Literal Disarming: Goldberg intercepts Williams' attack by shoving her hand into his mouth. Williams promptly bites it off before spitting it out and throwing it back at her.
- Musical Number Annoyance: At the very start of the main event, Crystal breaks out into a Deathmatch-themed rendition of the song Give My Regards to Broadway. Nobody in the arena seems to enjoy having to listen to it.
- Nasal Trauma: In the appeal video that Johnny plays before the main event, Williams is seen trying to cheer up a recovering John Tesh by re-enacting his character from Patch Adams. He ends up accidentally pulling off Tesh's nose.
- Off with His Head!:
- One of the hopeful stand-ups during the open-mic segment is decapitated by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin after he fails to make the audience laugh.
- Williams dispatches Crystal by ripping off his head.
- "Pop!" Goes the Human: After inflating him and turning him into a balloon animal, Miller uses a pen to burst Carrot Top.
- The Roast: For the second fight, and keeping in theme with a comedy roast, the ring has a giant barbecue grill fitted into the canvas. Both Dangerfield and Rickles also have access to oversized cooking utensils such as a spatula, a baster, a pair of tongs, a knife, and a carving fork.
- Self-Deprecation: Dangerfield, in his usual style, does this a lot. So much so, that Rickles ends up running out of steam trying to think of ways to put him down.
- Squashed Flat: One of the hopeful stand-ups during the open-mic segment is crushed beneath a heavy weight after he fails to make the audience laugh.
- Telethon: The main event is essentially this, with Stacy Cornbred (and eventually Mills Lane) standing by to answer people's calls and taking donations.
- Thing-O-Meter: For each open-mic segment, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin relies on a Laugh-O-Meter to determine how funny the hopeful stand-ups are.
- The Tooth Hurts: Carrot Top uses a long wooden stick (with an entire ear of corn impaled on it) to repeatedly poke Miller in the mouth, knocking out a few teeth.
- Unexplained Recovery: Despite all previous losing combatants being shown to have died in a number of different ways, it's revealed during an appeal video that Johnny plays that every celebrity who's ever died on the show is taken to a hospital so that they can be reassembled and resurrected. Considering that the doctors aren't shown to be very competent during this video, it's a miracle that the celebrities included in the video actually do go on to reappear in later episodes.
- Vaudeville Hook: The first hopeful stand-up in the open-mic segment is decapitated with one of these by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
- Visible Odor: Moments after entering the ring, Dangerfield lets out a fart which emits a visible brown odor into the front row.
- Visual Pun: Carrot Top has an entire trunk full of oversized props, that he uses to create many visual puns, much to the annoyance of Miller.
