- Date First Aired: 14/07/1997
Dorien has returned from Monaco and has met a man there named Sir Ralph Gardiner, who has been recently found to be a love cheat and a fraudster. However, Dorien is pleased as she believes that it will mean that she becomes "tabloid trash" - well until she finds that the affair being mentioned in the tabloids is in fact a different person named Camilla. Meanwhile, whilst exploring the new house, Sharon comes across old baby clothes from the previous owners of the house and begins to consider having a baby.
Tracey tries to discourage Sharon from becoming pregnant, whilst Dorian is annoyed that she isn't being plastered over the tabloids, so she conducts a plan involving her faking a whole tabloid news arc involving pregnancy, and loss of baby, drink, drugs, and finding religion. She also gets roped into finding a man for Sharon, leading to a fight between the sisters until Sharon reveals that she didn't go through with it, although she doesn't intend to quit.
Tropes in this episode:
- Affectionate Nickname: Camilla calls Ralph "Ralphie" in her newspaper interview.
- Alliterative Name: Dorien calls Ralph "Ralph the Rat".
- Bigger Is Better in Bed: Before sex with Paul, Sharon fled the room crying out "It's too much for me!". While Sharon was having second thoughts about having a baby from a one-night stand, Paul (who was in his underwear) thought she wouldn't be able to have sex with him because his penis was too big.
- Call-Back: Dorien met Ralph on her trip to Monaco last episode.
- Continuity Nod:
- Mention is once again made of Dorien having achieved menopause.
- Tracey recaps how hard the last few episodes have been for her:Tracey: Dorien, in the last few weeks I've 'ad to rent out my 'ome an' move downmarket, watch my business go bankrupt an' see my 'usband go back to prison.
- Sharon briefly mentions the time she had an abortion.
- Fake Pregnancy: Dorien considers faking being pregnant in a bid to get plastered over the tabloids.
- The Ghost:
- Sir Ralph Gardiner, Dorien's new love who is accused of being a fraudster and a love cheat.
- Camilla Loveridge, Ralph's affair who gets splashed across the tabloids.
- Paul, the man who Dorien tries to hook Sharon up with and with whom Sharon decides not to have sex after all.
- Graham, Dorien's date for the gala.
- David Kane, the person covering Ralph's whole situation.
- Gold Digger: Dorien was apparently looking forward to having a lovely relationship with Ralph's credit cards before she find out about him being a fraudster.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: Dorien needs another drink after Tracey reads about Camilla's confessions of making love to Ralph.
- Making Love in All the Wrong Places: Dorien has a habit of making love on breakfast tables.
- Mistaken for Gay: Tracey fears that she and Sharon will be mistaken for lesbians if Sharon goes through with having a baby.Sharon: You could be like its second mum.Tracey: People'll think we're lesbians.Sharon: We'll tell 'em we're sisters!Tracey: An' whadda ya think lesbians say?
- One-Night-Stand Pregnancy: Sharon tries to invoke this by attempting to have one-night stands with random people in hopes of getting pregnant from one such encounter. It doesn't work.
- One-Shot Character: Dennis.
- One-Steve Limit:
- This episode contains the sixth mention of a Dave (although this one is called "David") in the series after Sharon's ex-boyfriend Dave from "Shift", "Women's Troubles" and "Baby Come Back", a David from "Falling in Love Again", an unseen character called Straight Dave from "Favour of the Month", another unseen Dave from "Wipe That Smile Off Your Tape" and an unseen Davey from "Nearest and Dearest".
- Dennis was also the name of a man Dorien had an affair with prior to "Time and Tides".
- Painful Body Waxing: Sharon's idea of waxing is putting sticky tape on her legs and ripping it off, yelping out in pain as she does so.
- Questioning Title?: The name of the episode is "Are You Being Served?".
- She Cleans Up Nicely: Sharon surprises Dorien when she shows up to the charity gala she has invited her to wearing a nice dress.Sharon: Scrub up good, di'n' I?
- Shout-Out:
- The episode title is a reference to the 1970's Brit Com Are You Being Served?
- Tracey comments that characters in EastEnders have lived less dramatic lives than hers.
- Sharon hopes to be like Mother Teresa, "minus the tea towel".
- Dorien complains that Camilla got to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger at a film premiere.
- Dorien tells Sharon she could get Tom Cruise from a celebrity sperm bank, but Sharon worries that she might end up with Lassie.
- Sharon tells Dorien that the man she sets her up with doesn't have to be Brad Pitt.
- When Paul thinks Sharon thinks that he has a really big penis, he asks to be called "Linford", after Linford Christie.
- Tracey hears a man complain about the moral decay of the Conservative Party on the radio.
- David wants to pretend Dorien is a Scientologist so he can link her to John Travolta.
- Shower of Love: Tracey reads that Camilla spent hours of passionate love-making under the power shower with Ralph.Tracey: "'There was certainly no hosepipe ban as far as we were concerned', she cooed".
- Show Within a Show: Dorien imagines her own show on breakfast TV, In Bed with Dorien.
- Snark-to-Snark Combat: Sharon and Dorien start the second Dorien comes over to see the new house:Sharon: Oh look, it's... it's... it's our ex-neighbour. You 'ave no idea how good that sounds.Dorien: Didn't notice you there, Sharon. Not easy to pick you out in a room full of so many of the larger mammals.
- Speak in Unison: Both Sharon and Tracey say "Head of Central Water?" when they hear who Dorien has had a relationship with.
- Story Arc: This episode begins the arc of Sharon wanting a baby, which lasts until the end of Series 7.
- Take That!:
- Dorien calls Sharon and Tracey's house "very Brookside".
- Dorien complains to Sharon about having to watch One Foot in the Grave.
- Sharon tells Dorien that she could be an ITV weather girl due to her short skirts.
- Dorien doesn't like the Hackney Gazette.
- When Sharon tells Tracey that she can have a baby without her stopping her, she reminds her that they didn't move to China.
- Teen Pregnancy: Sharon mentions Tracey having had Garth at the age of 16.