Recap / Birds of a Feather CS3: We'll Always Have Majorca

Sharon: So, 'ow d'y'know when a name's nouve an' when it's okay?

Garth: There is a test actually.

Sharon: Oh yeah?

Garth: Yes. See how you like the sound of a monarch with the name.

Tracey: What?

Garth: Like... Kevin VIII, Wayne V, Good King Spike, y'know.

Dorien: (Laughs) Garth I. (Haughty chuckle)

Sharon: Dorien the last.

— Sharon Theodopolopodous, Garth and Tracey Stubbs, and Dorien Green discussing how to tell if a name is Nouveau Riche.

• Date First Aired: 25/12/1991

Abel Kane, who is an ex-rock star and ex-cellmate of Darryl, decides to offer the sisters, Garth and Dorien use of his villa in Majorca. On arrival the girls discover Darryl and Chris there, having escaped whilst touring with the prison rock band. The helpful local Pedro comes in to clean and is able to rescue Sharon, Tracey, and Dorien after they have been stranded on an island during a boat trip. On their return to the villa, however, they find someone has planted drugs in Dorien's suitcase and the three end up getting thrown in jail. Fortunately, Darryl is able to use his insider information to bust a drug-smuggling racket and get them all freed in the end.

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Tropes in this episode:

• Aborted Arc: The episode ends with Tracey pregnant with Darryl's baby. This plot point isn't brought up in Series 4 and Tracey doesn't get pregnant again until Series 7.
• Accidental Misnaming: Sharon pronounces Majorca with a "j" noise instead of a "y" noise and so keeps calling it "Madge-orca".
• Acting Unnatural: After Chris warns the group that Cogart is in the same restaurant as them, Darryl tells them all to leave nonchalantly. Cue them all leaping from their seats, frantically paying the waiter, and then all rushing straight into another table.
• Added Alliterative Appeal: Dorien calls Garth a "deceitful, duplicitous delinquent".
• Addled Addict: Abel Kane's marijuana addiction has left him with serious memory issues.
• All There in the Script: Inverted. Despite two members of the prison band and one of the girls at the concert getting names (Kieth, Pete, Warren, and Annie respectively), they're only referred to as "Prison Band" and "Girl at Concert" in the credits.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Dorien tells Garth he is a deceitful, duplicitous delinquent... with a down-market name.
• Auto Erotica: Malcolm and Bernice have sex in his van.
• Bait-and-Switch: It seems like Sharon and Chris are about to make love when Dorien hears them through the villa wall until Sharon starts yelling at Chris.
• Blackmail: Darryl threatens to send the audio recording of Malcolm having sex with Bernice to Malcolm's wife if he doesn't let him and Chris skip the gig to shag two girls.
• Blatant Lies: Sharon tries to tell the police that she, Tracey, and Dorien are English missionaries.
• Brief Accent Imitation: Chris practices a (piss-poor) Scottish accent:
  Chris: Quiet as a moose loose in a hoose.
• Captain Obvious:
  • After hearing that Darryl wants to escape during the Jailhouse Rockers' gig, Chris remarks that must be why Darryl started the prison band.
  • When Sharon asks why Darryl and Chris are in Majorca, Chris tells her that they escaped prison.
• Christmas Episode: The third in total, the episode is set over Christmas.
• Closet Shuffle:
  • Before Tracey, Sharon, Dorien, and Garth arrive in Majorca, Chris hides in the wardrobe to surprise them.
  • When Pedro is at the door, Darryl and Chris hide in the same wardrobe.
• Continuity Nod: Sharon asks Chris if he wants to steal more money out of her purse.
• Curse Cut Short: A seasick Dorien gets cut off by a mocking Sharon:
  Dorien: You... sadistic... vicious... fat-
  Sharon: An' a very merry Christmas to you too Dorien.
• Deadpan Snarker:
  • After Tracey tells her she's worried about Garth speaking posh and how he's going to turn out, Sharon responds with:
    Sharon: One dreads to think Trace.
  • Being trapped on an island turns Tracey into one.
    Sharon: Maybe we should build a fire.
    Tracey: Oh right! An' I'll trap a few rabbits an' we can cook up a supper. An' then we can all sing "Ging Gang Goolie" 'round the campfire!
• Delusions of Eloquence: Garth begins talking posh and demanding to be called "Will".
• Dirty Cop: When Chris says that Cogart is inside the restaurant, Darryl thinks he means "inside" as in "in jail", thinking he's a bent copper.
• The Dog Was the Mastermind:
  • Dorien accuses Garth of being the mastermind behind Darryl and Chris' escape.
  • Pedro seems a Funny Foreigner at first but has been smuggling drugs for years.
• The Dreaded: The idea of Cogart being in the same country as them drives Darryl and Chris into a panic.
• Drunk Driver: The driver of the glass bottom boat gets absolutely rat-arsed.
• Elvis Impersonator: Malcolm dresses up as Elvis Presley for the Jailhouse Rockers' gig.
• Extra-Long Episode: This episode is about 45 minutes long, which is longer than most episodes of the series.
• Fauxreigner: Pedro's real name is Pete Morgan, but he pretends to be Spanish to help him smuggle cocaine.
• Flat "What": Tracey when Garth tries to explain how to tell if a name is nouve.
• Forgetful Jones: Abel Kane thanks to his drug abuse.
• Funny Foreigner: Pedro, who pretends to have a very basic grasp of the English language.
  Pedro: Eh, eh, mi amo Mrs. Mopp, ah? Hoover, Hoover, hoo, hoo.
• Gender-Blender Name: Tracey boards the plane under the name "Martin Rosencroft", although she tries to pretend it's short for Martina.
• Gratuitous Foreign Language: Sharon tells Tracey "salut" before they drink.
• Great Escape: Darryl and Chris escape prison with the aid of the prison band.
• Green Around the Gills: Tracey remarks a seasick Dorien is the same shade of green she wants for her hall.
• Heroic Sacrifice: Darryl sends himself back to prison to free Tracey, Sharon and Dorien.
• Hypocrite: Tracey calls out Garth for trying to talk posh, yet has been guilty of doing the same in both "Sailing" and "Confidence".
• Insane Troll Logic: Dorien claims English and French are basically the same language because so many French words have been adopted into the English language.
• It's All About Me: Dorien would have no problem with Tracey and Sharon rotting in a Spanish prison if it meant she could walk free.
• Irony: For once Darryl gets a chance to visit Tracey in prison.
• Make-Out Kids: Garth and Janice are, much to Dorien's disgust and annoyance.
• Malaproper: Sharon mentions tampons and pythons when talking about crampons and pitons.
• Noodle Incident: Abel Kane once appeared on The Terry Wogan Show after too many drinks.
• Nouveau Riche:
  • Garth thinks his name is such, so decides to be called "Will" from now on.
  • After Dorien explains what it is, Sharon remarks that's what she is, much to her embarrasment.
• Obfuscating Stupidity: Pedro only pretends to be a Funny Foreigner to smuggle drugs for Abel Kane.
• One-Shot Character: Abel Kane, Trevor, Kieth, Pete, Warren, Malcolm Walich, Bernice, Annie, Janice, Pedro Ramirez, Superintendent Cogart and Manuel.
• Pop-Culture Pun Episode Title: The title comes from a famous quote from Casablanca, "We'll always have Paris".
• Prisoner Performance: The episode opens in the middle of a Christmas performance by a prison rock band, with Chris and Darryl (who were jailed at the beginning of the series) being part of the band. Darryl is eventually able to briefly escape from jail through a gig with said rock band.
• Punny Name:
  • Abel Kane comes from Cain and Abel, two brothers from The Bible.
  • The prison band is called the Jailhouse Rockers, a nod to the song by Elvis Presley.
• Really Gets Around: Sharon remarks she'll be feeling sorry for the toreadors when she discovers that Dorien is going to Majorca without Marcus.
• The Reveal: Darryl reveals that Pedro isn't really a Funny Foreigner, but a drug smuggler.
• Revenge:
  • Darryl grasses up Abel Kane for getting Tracey arrested.
  • Pedro threatens Darryl with this after he is arrested.
• Rich Language, Poor Language:
  • Tracey gets frustrated by Garth trying to talk posh.
    Garth: One doesn't actually have to be royal-
    Tracey: "One"?! See! I toldja, 'e says "one". Me own flesh an' blood an' 'e says "one"! Gordon Bennett, 'ow am I gonna live this down?
  • Dorien uses "banged up", which earns her a sarcastic comment from Tracey.
• Rule of Three: First Dorien hears Tracey and Darryl getting it on, then she hears Garth and Janice kissing and finally she hears Sharon and Chris about to, only to start arguing.
• Run for the Border: After escaping prison, Darryl and Chris pretend to flee to Scotland, but in reality, make it to Majorca.
• Season Finale: Of Series 3.
• Sexless Marriage: Sharon mentions she and Chris had hardly any sex while they were together.
• Shout-Out:
  • In addition to Malcolm dressing like Elvis Presley, several of his songs are sung or referenced with Malcolm singing "Jailhouse Rock" when practicing for the Jailhouse Rockers, Malcolm planning to sing "Blue Suede Shoes" at the gig, and the first song sung at the gig is "Heartbreak Hotel".
  • Tracey recalls Abel Kane appearing on the The Terry Wogan Show drunk.
  • Tracey mentions Martina Navratilova when trying to cover up the fact that her fake name is "Martin".
  • When trying to introduce himself as the cleaner, Pedro calls himself "Mrs. Mopp", after the charlady from the radio series It's That Man Again.
  • Sharon mentions Chris Bonington when discussing ways to escape the island.
  • Tracey mentions singing "Ging Gang Goolie" around a campfire.
  • Sharon calls Pedro's Funny Foreigner behaviour "Fawlty Towers business".
  • Dorien mentions giving money to Amnesty International.
• Single Malt Vision: After the girls are forgotten on an island, Tracey asks if the driver will count up and realise he's forgotten them. Sharon snarks that he's drunk so much that he'll see twice the number of passengers than before.
• Status Quo Is God: Darryl and Chris manage to escape from prison, but Darryl gives them up to save Tracey, Sharon and Dorien.
• The Stoner: Abel Kane has been arrested for marijuana use and possession several times.
• The Stool Pigeon:
  • Dorien claims would've confessed to everything and sent Tracey and Sharon to prison if it meant she would be free.
  • Darryl snitches on Abel Kane to Cogart to get back at him for getting Tracey locked up.
• Take That!:
  • Sharon is shocked when Tracey tells her Garth is starting to speak like Prince Charles.
  • After hearing a strange noise on the deserted island, Sharon remarks it's someone doing a Jim Davidson impression.
  • Dorien calls the Spanish "savages".
• The Talk: Tracey ponders if the secrecy around Garth's visit with Darryl is because he hasn't learned about the birds and the bees yet. Sharon responds that he may be seeking more advanced details.
• Title Drop: When Darryl is telling Tracey he'll have to go back to prison.
  Darryl: Still, we'll always have Majorca.
• Token Good Teammate: Malcolm seems to be the only screw who isn't a prick to the prisoners.
• Tranquil Fury: Dorien is barely holding back her rage once Pedro rescues the girls from the island.
• Two Words: I Can't Count: Sharon calls work experience another word for slave labour, so Dorien corrects her that it's two words and Sharon isn't impressed.
  Sharon: "Shut ya face" is three words.
• Ungrateful Bastard: After hearing Dorien is paying for their flight to Majorca, all Sharon can do is crack jokes about her promiscuity.
• Vacation Episode: Tracey, Sharon, Dorien and Garth spend Christmas in Majorca, with Darryl and Chris breaking out of prison to join them.
• Vomit Discretion Shot: Once she gets off the glass bottom boat, Dorien runs off-screen to puke and then does the same once she returns to the villa.
• What Happened to the Mouse?:
  • What happened to the girls who helped Darryl and Chris escape?
  • Did Malcolm and Trevor receive any punishment for Darryl and Chris' escape?
  • Where does Janice go after Tracey, Sharon and Dorien are arrested?
  • What happens to Tracey's baby after this episode?
• With Friends Like These...: Dorien would've confessed to everything and sent Tracey and Sharon into a Spanish prison just to be able to go free.

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