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     Anime & Manga 
During class... All I could see was you. So I couldn't really see the- Ah.
Kyotaro Ichikawa, The Dangers in My Heart, Chapter 41, Episode 7. Trying to explain to Yamada that she was blocking his sight during class.

Senpai: I don't know where you get off—
Nagatoro: Go on...
Senpai: Let me try again...

     Comics 
Clark Kent: She has a clause in her contract, no magical powers, it's all magician's craft. And she's good. Barry, when he was alive, he told me even he couldn't see how she did some of the tricks. And this wasn't even on stage, this was in the Satellite on the JLA table. Close up.
Lois Lane: Why does that sound dirtier than you intended it to?
Clark Kent: (annoyed) Rao... I have no idea, Lois, why does it?

Kamala: So...I know we haven't known each other that long and if it was anybody else I wouldn't even ask this, but... would you... you know... show me yours?
Kamran: Huh?!
Kamala: Oh my God, no! Your powers! I meant would you show me your powers!
Kamran: Well this got awkward fast.

     Fan Works 
"Yeah, but I can't let Tani-baka know about this note  — ever. The second he heard about it, his head would explode! (blinks, thinking about what she just said as her face reddens) And I'm going to shut up now."
Yanagimoto, Kyon: Big Damn Hero

Garrus: Turians like it hot.
Shepard: I ride my soldiers hard and put them away wet, I can at least make sure they don't go to bed hungry.

     Film – Animated 
Iago: To think we gotta keep kissin' up to that chump and his chump daughter for the rest of our lives...!
Jafar: No, Iago. Only until she finds a chump husband. Then, she'll have us banished. Or beheaded!
(both wince at the thought)
Iago: (gets an idea) Oh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Jafar, what if you were the chump husband?
Jafar: What?!
Iago: Okay, okay! You marry the princess, alright? An-And, uh, then you become the Sultan!

Don: Aw, come on, Scott. I don't want you to think of me as your new dad. After all, we're fraternity brothers first!
Squishy: This is so weird.
Don: Just think of me as your big brother that's marrying your mother! Wait, hold on... We're brothers who share the same mom/wife! (beat) That's worse.

     Film – Live-Action 
Anna: You are such a child.
Nick: A sexy child. (beat) Wait...

Doctor: Now we're alone, er, try an' remember exactly what happened.
Professor Crump: Well... I got into bed, and Miss Vooshka... turned out the light.
Doctor: So, you were in bed with a Miss Vooshka?
Professor Crump: Yeah- no. I was up the other end.

Fritz: Good evening, Fraulein. And how far do you go?
Dumdum: Eh?!
Lieutenant Coles: As far as Berlin.

Warden Hodges: Who do you think you are?
Captain Mainwaring: We're the Local Defense Volunteers, and I'm their appointed commander, Captain Mainwaring, and I must ask you to keep your hands off my Privates.

"Even look in her general direction again and you will learn in the worst of ways that I have some hard spots, too...that came out wrong. Or did it?"
Wade Wilson, Deadpool (2016)

"Mary...I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy!"
Lloyd Christmas, Dumb and Dumber

"Let's do it! The levels, I mean, not sex."

Sherman Klump: Pardon me ladies and gentlemen, but I cannot go on living unless I have this man inside me right now!
Dean Richmond: Steady, sailor.

"The point is, you see, the landlady's absolutely as deaf as a post. They couldn't be more perfect. You have to write everything down for her. Well, there's no use banging on her door or anything like that. I banged away for hours yesterday." (Beat) "Nothing happened."
Mervyn Hughes, Raising the Wind

Onlooker 1: Do you have a child in that bag?
Tom: No. (Beat) I mean, yes, it's a child, but it's not mine.
Onlooker 2: ...it's not your child?

"I say 'mistress', I mean don't I mean we... well I don't mean I... er, well... I mean I serve her." (Beat) "No, no, I mean, um, I try to give her satisfaction, I- Oh, form your own opinion."
Lurcio, Up Pompeii

    Live Action TV 
Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so it seems I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There's just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence...

Felicity: It feels really good having you inside me. [Beat]. And by you, I mean your voice. And by inside me, I mean my ear....I'm going to stop talking right now.
Oliver: That would be my preference.
Arrow, "The Undertaking''

Britta: [to Pierce's father] I can excuse racism, but I draw the line at animal cruelty!
Shirley: You can excuse racism?!
Britta: [awkwardly glances downward]
Community, "Advanced Gay''

"If you need something under the table... I'm your guy. (Beat) That didn't come out right."
Dexter, "I Had a Dream"

Amy Pond: You're worse than my aunt!
Eleventh Doctor: I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everybody's aunt! [Beat] And that is not how I'm introducing myself.
Doctor Who, "The Eleventh Hour"

Ross: (comes in red-faced, sweating, and out of breath) Hey.
Phoebe: Hey. Why are you all red and sweaty?
Ross: I just bamboozled Chandler!
(Beat)
Ross: ...which is not a sexual thing.
— ''Friends’', "The One With The Baby Shower"

Joel: We’ll round up some Jews for you, Rabbi.
Moishe: Don’t say, “Round up Jews.”
Joel: I know. It sounded wrong.

Ducky: Muscle soreness?
Tony: Only when I move or breathe.
Ducky: Yes, clearly you haven't quite recovered from your bout with Y. pestis. You need a rest.
Tony: No, I need to get back to work, Ducky.
Kate: Damn it, Tony. I should just take you home and get you in bed. [Ducky and Tony look at Kate] Okay, that didn't come out the way I intended.
NCIS, "Twilight

    Video Games 
"I'll... get wood... at the tree! Tree wood!"
Sagi, Baten Kaitos Origins

"Oh, hi! I was just looking for a staff I misplaced. It grows really big when you hold it, and... I suddenly just realized how inappropriate that sounds."
Catara, Crush Crush

Rich Lambert: "What we ended up settling on is that the older, wiser, more powerful a Telvanni wizard is, the more overgrown, the larger their mushroom tower is."
Jessica Folsom: "So literally size is a measure of power."
Rich: "Oh, I'm glad you said that."
— An episode of ESO Live

Female!Commander Shepard: (discussing 'sparring') So when should I book the room?
Garrus Vakarian: I'd wait if you're OK with it. Disrupt the crew a little as possible, and take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm. You know me, I always like to savor that last shot before popping the heat sink.
(A Beat persists as Shepard gives Garrus a knowing smirk.)
Garrus Vakarian: Wait... that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.

Chuggaaconroy: Whoa! 2 or 3-up, my ass!
ProtonJon: You might want to rephrase that one.

Schezo: Finally, you and I are going to score together!
Arle: You mean we're going to rack up scores battling? Schezo, you really gotta work on your wording sometimes.

     Visual Novels 
MC: What do you like seeing other people wear?
Cove: Nothing!
You couldn’t help giggling at that.
Cove: Come on, that’s not what I meant!

     Web Animation 
Zarbon: I thought I could take (Vegeta), but he really tore up my insides and...I—no, I mean, he—he blew out my backside...DAMN IT!
Dodoria: It's fine, you're catchin' it now.
Zarbon: But I'm so used to pitching! (sobs)
Burter: For me, he just slammed me deep in the throat! ...what? I'm doing these on purpose! I'm gay as sunshine!
Jeice: Suave! (high-fives Burter)
HFIL episode 2, "Sharing Circles of Hell”

Amelia Watson: I don't know how to- how to- This is gonna sound weird.
Calliope Mori: Yeah?
Ame: I don't know how to- I don't know if I should say it.
Calli: Oh?
Ame: [snickering] I don't know how to impregnate your fortress.
Both: [laugh]
Calli: "Storm my castle"?
Ame: Yeah, that's a good way to put it, I guess.
Calli: It's okay, people will still take it out of context no matter what you do, unfortunately.

Amelia Watson: Maybe we should give Jumpmaster to the randoms. So that nobody will know.
Gawr Gura: That sounds good.
Ame: Actually, but then— they won't know how to— how to... do a bait like me. You'll see.
Gura: Master bait, here we go!
[Beat]
Gura and Ame: [audible realization] Uhhhh...
Gura: I could have worded that... a bit better! [starts to giggle]
Ame: [laughs ouright] Nice one, Gura, nice.
Gura: You know what I meant! You know what I meant...
Ame: Uh-huh.
Gura: Master... bait-- No, that's not-- Ma-- bait-- I'm gonna shut my mouth now.

Kiara Takanashi: Stupid neighbors are still banging, after all these hours they're still banging on something! (Beat) Wait... oh, my God. (struggles to keep her composure)
Ina'nis Ninomae: Context...?
Kiara: I mean... I mean they're really—! Ugh...! For hours — I don't know, man, I couldn't sleep, I woke up—!
Ina: Context?!
Kiara: The context is that they're banging on something, they're doing some construction or something, I think...
Ina: Ahem...
Kiara: I, I... I... I didn't... I didn't mean to... (shuts up) Yabe.
(Ina lets out a light laugh.)
Kiara: Is it better if I say they're hammering? Does that sound better?
(Ina doesn't say anything.)
Kiara: Apparently not. (nervous laughing) Uh... uh, well, then, how am I supposed to say it?! It... It's not my fault that English is such a suggestive language! That's not my fault, it's not even my first language, so... hum! Hum!
Ina: It was an effort.
Kiara: Yep! (laughs)

Vollin: [over comms] General V, over, and out.
Triple M: Bitch.
Meme: Excuse me?
Triple M: No, not you, the other bitch... ugh, that came out wrong!

     Webcomics 
Oona: Almost got special dinner for you! Saw it while exercising Lancer, but it fell in drink. Two humans, since you said you had one back in city and liked it best of all.
The Monster in the Darknes: That is... not what I meant at all.

Boss Leader: I have great affection for the boy, but he's been up to something worrisome behind that barrier since puberty.

Um
No correlation.
Max: I WAS GONNA SAY

     Websites 
Institute for Social Ecology (June 22): The left must be feminized—by force if necessary.
Institute for Social Ecology (June 24): We have been made aware that this means something else outside of the context of feminist politics.

Aaron Rodgers: WILSON, I WILL PERSONALLY BEAT YOUR DICK OFF!
Jay Cutler: That's a poor choice of words for you, Rodgers.

     Web Video 
"Hatterene craves a banana, so it's a good thing that Mr. Beast is ready and willing to give Hatterene his bana-"
(Sophist pauses, then deletes and rewrites a chunk of the script)
"Mr. Beast heals Hatterene."

I'm not a furry, I just like cats. It annoys me how I can't talk about fucking cats- wait, not fucking cats-
Alpharad playing ''Bowser's Fury’’.

"Dude, we can see it bending and wobbling all over! Put that thing away! (beat) Wow...I could have worded that better."
The Smeghead, Cinematic Excrement Episode 95, Part 2: Ready to Rumble, on Vampiro attacking Sting with a rubber hose that was meant to look like a lead pipe

Lelouch: That pussy's got my head's protection! Wow. That did not come out right. [falls into a bush] Well this figures. I'm supposed to be chasing pussy but instead I'm stuck in the bush. [Beat] What is wrong with me today! [finds Suzaku] Suzaku, what are you doing here?
Suzaku: I'm here to kick ass. [hears meow] Now let's go take care of your pussy problem!
Lelouch: Well, at least, it's not just me.
Code MENT note 

OK, you suck. You are sucking all the fun out of this! I'm the only one who sucks here, boy—that came out wrong.
Future Imperfect Cell, Dragon Ball Z Abridged

"I don't want that on my conscience that I exposed a young child to dick. (starts laughing) That came out so fucking wrong!"
Etika, from his reaction to Death Note (2017) regarding how everyone who hasn't watched the Death Note anime should leave, as he doesn't want their first experience with it to be this movie, which was previously described as being dick.

So how did Tony know Peter Parker was Spider-Man? Did he just break into every teenage boy's bedroom in New York until he got lucky? Oh, wait, hang on, that sounded really bad.

Yeah, my cheek was not good. I think I had to spread 'em out a little more... That was awful. Do not include that.

"Alright, it starts off with me on a TV screen, and it looks like... my little loli girl is turning me on. Alright... (Beat) We're not gonna comment about what I just said there."
Noble describing a video clip of a young-looking anime girl turning on a TV that had been edited to have Noble appear on the TV.

"It's grinding time, Nepgear. Hope your butt's clenched. Aaand I just realized that can mean something entirely different."

"Put my nut in your mouth and bite hard! I don't give a shit how that sounds, I'm in a Care Bears movie!"
'Nostalgia Critic, regarding the climax of Care Bears Nutcracker.

Brent: You know what, I ain't listening to any of your BS! I'm gonna try to finish off this Vaporeon with my sword!
Nick: Bro, take that out of context, and it's the worst sentence I've ever heard.
Brent: ...Wait, shut up, Nick!

Screenwriter: Janet is going to make Ghost feel better by using her (Janet's) fingers.
Producer: (excited) Ohhh!
Screenwriter: Not like that.
Producer (disappointed) Oh.

And now to sneak into a child's bedroom—oh my god, I just heard myself...

Vernias: No, not the Big Dee, no! I hope you choke on that Dee!
Dukerino: Vernias!
Vernias: What? Wait... wait, NO! NO! NO! NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! NOOO! [...] THAT ISN'T WHAT I MEANT!"''

     Western Animation 
Frylock: Just help me roll this into the garage.
Master Shake: Why don't you help me suck it?
(beat)
Master Shake: ...Wait a minute, that backfired.

"Yes, Rosebud Frozen Peas: Full of country goodness and green pea-ness...Wait, that's terrible. I quit."

"No, you have to listen to me! I know they're the guys who've given you everything you've ever wanted and I'm just the guy who destroyed your lifelong dream, but you have to listen to me! (beat) Boy, that came out wrong."
Timmy Turner, The Fairly OddParents!, "School's Out! The Musical”

Adam: How many of you freaks do I have to fight?!
Lucifer: Oh, I'm the only one that matters. See, you messed with my daughter. And now, I am going to FUCK YOU!
(Cue a Beat from everyone and a Fascinating Eyebrow from Angel Dust)
Valentino: (smirks) Well, this just got interesting.
Charlie: (whispers) It's "fuck you up"... Dad.
Lucifer: Wait, what did I say?

Pim: I love helping kids, Charlie! I love kids, Charlie! I LOVE KIIIIDS!
Charlie: Um, Pim? I would really not be screaming that at the top of my lungs.

Steven: Hey! Look, you have Rose Quartz, why bother with him? He's worthless!
Lars: Thanks a lot, Steven.
Steven: No, I meant like worth less, not worthless like relative to me?
Steven Universe, "Stuck Together"

The only ice cream we want is the ice cream of justice! That sounded better in my head!
— '''Wordgirl’’’

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