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Anime and Manga
"Why are evil geniuses always surrounded by fools?"
— Ken Ichijouji, Digimon Adventure 02
"Goodness, the people up there are unreliable. Honestly, they can't even manage to get five sacrifices ready for today? Though, they did only go after those stupid enough to take the bait of something small, something like immortality. It's no surprised they failed to get the job done."
— "Gold-Toothed Doctor", Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, "Sacrifices"
"Why, oh, why is such a genius like myself surrounded by idiots?"
— Dr. Hell, Mazinger Z
Comic Books
"Bah! How did Robotnik rule Mobius with you idiots working for him?"
— Commander Brutus to his incompetent team of Troopers, Sonic the Comic
"We never tried to take over the world or make Iron Man kiss our feet in Times Square. We were happy gettin' rich. Living large … I'm usually taking orders from immortal Nazis or government spooks. Train this spider-chick. Kill that sheikh. Show me how to throw a billy club like Daredevil, and hey, can I pay you after they make me emperor of Newark?"
—Taskmaster, Avengers: The Initiative
My greatest flaw. I surround myself with idiots.
I don't know what's happening to criminals today— They're either cowards or too dumb to follow the simplest order!
— Starfire, Starfire's Revenge
They're all quite thick, and I'm their leader! (Sob! Sob!)
"You people do not deserve me."
— Tess Reyes, Freestyle
"To answer your question, Joe, my favourite character is also Starscream - because the only person I can trust is myself, whilst all those around me are complete imbeciles. My idiot allies ask why I talk to myself, and I have to remind them that it's the only way I can guarantee intelligent conversation."
Fan Works
Dr. Sivana: Illyria! Increase the power of the paralysis ray!
Illyria: How do I do that?
Dr. Sivana: How do I know? Get another rat to run in the generator! You all expect me to do your thinking for you!
Illyria: How do I do that?
Dr. Sivana: How do I know? Get another rat to run in the generator! You all expect me to do your thinking for you!
"Case records are a mess. Department staffed by idiots. Dried noodles and cigarette butts DO NOT belong with lab samples."
"You continue to use officers of proven stupidity in order to boost your already inflated ego."
— Annika-709, Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space
"Okay, just throwing this out there. The only reason why I'm not cutting the three of you into pieces is because this [elevator] is made of glass and we're in public. Also, you're all a bunch of gutless, disease-ridden, foul-breathed, competence-challenged, mentally deficient, evolutionary throw-backs with about as much usefulness as an assless chair. Yes, Nikki, even you. That's how mad I am."
— Annabelle Lee, Resonance Days
"Why don't I get any competent henchmen? I offer excellent health benefits, educational opportunities, even a direct share in the enterprise. I even have a catchphrase! How does he manage it with just inspirational speeches? Emotional logic is barely any logic at all..."
— Kaworu Nagisa, Shinji And Warhammer 40 K
I'm also not allowed to tell you about what I do, which I only found out after writing the first letter. They could have told me before, but I appear to be surrounded by the dumbest smart people in the history of IT.
— Asuka, Read the Fine Print (Evangelion)
"I'm staring to think recruiting a bunch of teenagers and incompetent adults to assist me was a bad idea."
Film - Animation
"I'm surrounded by idiots...."
— Scar, The Lion King (1994) and Once Upon a Studio
"Jeez, man, I'm surrounded by amateurs."
— Sebastian, The Little Mermaid (1989)
"MORONS! I'M SURROUNDED BY MORONS!"
— Carface Carruthers, All Dogs Go to Heaven
"Now it's time for the next lesson. I call it "How to Stop Being Stupid"."
— Diesel 10 to Splatter and Dodge, Thomas and the Magic Railroad
Oh, they're hopeless. A disgrace to the forces of evil.
—Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty
Film - Live-Action
"Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?!"
— Doctor Evil, Austin Powers
"Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why aren't more people interrigent, rike me?"
Sador: What's WRONG is that I have an army full of GENETIC MISTAKES! Why can't my minions be sophisticated or intelligent, like... well, like ME?
Yago: You can't expect all of us to measure up to you, Sir.
Sador: Oh, don't flatter me!
Yago: You can't expect all of us to measure up to you, Sir.
Sador: Oh, don't flatter me!
Hedley: Now Repeat After Me: "I..."
Thugs: I...
Hedley: ...your name...
Thugs: Your name...
Hedley: (under his breath) Schmucks...
Thugs: I...
Hedley: ...your name...
Thugs: Your name...
Hedley: (under his breath) Schmucks...
"You are all INCOMPETENTS!"
— Osric, Dragonheart: A New Beginning
Dark Helmet: Careful, you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Cross-eyed gunner: Sorry, sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: ...Who made that man a gunner?
Cross-eyed officer: I did, sir! He's my cousin!
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sanders: He's an Asshole, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name!?
Colonel Sanders: That is his name, sir. Asshole. Major Asshole.
Dark Helmet: ...And his cousin?
Colonel Sanders: He's an Asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole.
Dark Helmet: How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?
(the entire bridge crew, except for one person, stands up and raises a hand)
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes. (closes helmet) Keep firing, Assholes!
Cross-eyed gunner: Sorry, sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: ...Who made that man a gunner?
Cross-eyed officer: I did, sir! He's my cousin!
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sanders: He's an Asshole, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name!?
Colonel Sanders: That is his name, sir. Asshole. Major Asshole.
Dark Helmet: ...And his cousin?
Colonel Sanders: He's an Asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole.
Dark Helmet: How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?
(the entire bridge crew, except for one person, stands up and raises a hand)
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes. (closes helmet) Keep firing, Assholes!
"I am surrounded by cow turds!"
— The Warden, Holes
"You're part of a league of morons. You're one of the morons I have been fighting my whole life. My whole. Fucking. Life."
— Osbourne Cox, Burn After Reading
"I'm going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
"How hard can it be to kill ten men?"
— Conrad Stonebanks, The Expendables 3
Miss Tessmacher: Lex, why do so many people have to die for the Crime of the Century?
Lex Luthor: Why? You ask why? Why does the phone always ring when you're in the bathtub? Why is the most diabolical leader of our time surrounding himself with total nincompoops?
Lex Luthor: Why? You ask why? Why does the phone always ring when you're in the bathtub? Why is the most diabolical leader of our time surrounding himself with total nincompoops?
(Explosions rock the control center. Everyone freezes.)
(Long pause.)
Director Orson Krennic: ...Are we BLIND? Deploy the garrison! MOVE!
(Long pause.)
Director Orson Krennic: ...Are we BLIND? Deploy the garrison! MOVE!
Are you soft, Fitz? When I tell you... to dump a body in the marsh... you dump him... IN ... the marsh... not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday TO GET A FUCKIN' BLOWJOB! DON'T LAUGH! THIS AIN'T REALITY TV!
— Frank Costello, The Departed
"You know what the problem is with being the smartest person in the world? Everyone else seems stupid."
Rita: You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?
Joe Bowers: Yeah. Hadn't thought of that.
Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.
Joe Bowers: Yeah. Hadn't thought of that.
Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.
Mary Sanderson: Oh, you're right, you're always right.
Winifred Sanderson: It's my curse, that and you two! Get off me you thundering oafs!
Winifred Sanderson: It's my curse, that and you two! Get off me you thundering oafs!
"Why? Why was I cursed with such idiot sisters?"
—Winifred Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
May Morrison: Can I do anything for you, Sergeant?
Sergeant Howie: No, I doubt it, seeing you're all raving mad!
Sergeant Howie: No, I doubt it, seeing you're all raving mad!
"You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!"
— Ulysses Everett McGill, O Brother, Where Art Thou?
"You are all weirdos."
— Sam Eagle, The Great Muppet Caper
Literature
"Like I said, I'll be famous one day, but for now, I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons."
— Greg Heffley, Diary of a Wimpy Kid
"Yes, I know, I know, it’s MY fault, I hired them… bargain basement villains, hired at the last minute... SO, this is why some supervillains are always screaming about being surrounded by incompetents."
— Jadis Diabolik, Whateley Universe, "Saks and Violence"
Capitaine Dronne was mounted in his jeep named Mort aux Cons! (Death to Idiots!) When he first noticed this, General Leclerc asked Dronne, "Why do you want to kill everyone?"
— D Day by Antony Beevor
Pope: My superior wants to see you.
Hemlock: Well, that doesn't limit the field much.
Hemlock: Well, that doesn't limit the field much.
"Look at the chicken. I am surrounded by such useless clods. If I scattered sand before the creature and told him it was grain, he'd peck at it."
—Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, Dune
Live-Action TV
Glory: I need a brain to eat.
Minion: Oh, take mine, oh groove-tastic one!
Glory: I said a brain, you worthless dirt!
Minion: Oh, take mine, oh groove-tastic one!
Glory: I said a brain, you worthless dirt!
"If there’s a brain cell between you three nitwits, it’s dying of loneliness."
— Vexor, Beetleborgs
"I am the meat in an idiot sandwich."
— C.C. Backcock, The Nanny
"YOU'RE A STUPID INCOMPETENT! I WANT THAT DOCTOR!"
— Tobias Vaughn, "The Invasion", Doctor Who
"Must I be the meat in an imbecile sandwich?"
— Bud Bundy, Married... with Children note
"I'm surrounded by morons!"
— Moe Howard of The Three Stooges in many, many shorts
"If you seem slow to me, Sherlock, can you imagine what real people are like? I'm living in a world of goldfish."
— Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock, "The Empty Hearse"
"What can I say, man? Good help is hard to find."
— Stringer Bell, The Wire
"I look for the light in their eyes, I do, I do look for the light in their eyes! BULBS BURNED OUT!"
— Harold, The Red Green Show
Dayna: Don't you ever get bored with being right?
Avon: Just with the rest of you being wrong.
Avon: Just with the rest of you being wrong.
— Blake's 7, "Rescue"
"How can anyone conquer the world with these nitwits?!"
— Rita Repulsa, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers
Arnold Rothstein: I employ research, fact-finding...
Myer Lansky: Due diligence, the lawyers call it.
Arnold Rothstein: ...which brings me to Nucky Thompson... [glares at Doyle] the man you said you know everything about.
Mickey Doyle: How was I supposed to know his chauffeur carries a gun?
Arnold Rothstein: Have you been listening to a single word I've said?! Sheer and utter incompetence! A woman is shot - an innocent tourist, no less - and you've tipped my hand to Thompson!
Lucien D'Alessio: A boardwalk at night, do it in public, we figure it sends a message.
Lucky Luciano: You sent a message, all right - that you're idiots.
Myer Lansky: Due diligence, the lawyers call it.
Arnold Rothstein: ...which brings me to Nucky Thompson... [glares at Doyle] the man you said you know everything about.
Mickey Doyle: How was I supposed to know his chauffeur carries a gun?
Arnold Rothstein: Have you been listening to a single word I've said?! Sheer and utter incompetence! A woman is shot - an innocent tourist, no less - and you've tipped my hand to Thompson!
Lucien D'Alessio: A boardwalk at night, do it in public, we figure it sends a message.
Lucky Luciano: You sent a message, all right - that you're idiots.
"The level of incompetence in this office is staggering!"
— Selina Meyer, Veep
"I swear, why do I even delegate..."
— Garcia Flynn, Timeless
Radio
Colonel Ross Brimmicombe-Wood: There is a man somewhere on this hillside and none of you idiots can find him! Now how difficult can it be?!
Captain Zerdin: Colonel, it was dark.
Colonel Ross Brimmicombe-Wood: Dark? DARK? Zerdin, what is that big shiny thing in the sky?
Captain Zerdin: Helicopter, Colonel.
Colonel Ross Brimmicombe-Wood: Not that, over there!
Captain Zerdin: ...the sun, Colonel?
Colonel Ross Brimmicombe-Wood: Thank you. And now the sun is up, it is not dark anymore, and you ought to be able to find your own arse with both hands! NOW FAN OUT AND BRING ME RED CANARY! DON'T MAKE ME GO THERE AND LOOK FOR HIM MYSELF, BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE HAPPY! NOW MOVE IT!
Captain Zerdin: Colonel, it was dark.
Colonel Ross Brimmicombe-Wood: Dark? DARK? Zerdin, what is that big shiny thing in the sky?
Captain Zerdin: Helicopter, Colonel.
Colonel Ross Brimmicombe-Wood: Not that, over there!
Captain Zerdin: ...the sun, Colonel?
Colonel Ross Brimmicombe-Wood: Thank you. And now the sun is up, it is not dark anymore, and you ought to be able to find your own arse with both hands! NOW FAN OUT AND BRING ME RED CANARY! DON'T MAKE ME GO THERE AND LOOK FOR HIM MYSELF, BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE HAPPY! NOW MOVE IT!
Video Games
"Note to self: need to order more henchmen. Good ones this time!"
"I am surrounded by traitors, and FOOLS!!"
"How many times do I have to tell those idiots? If you're the last one in, LOCK THE GATE!"
— Bowser, Super Paper Mario
"All I have now is dickheads! Dickheads everywhere, yo!"
— Ricardo Diaz, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
"INCOMPETENCE SURROUNDS ME!"
— Albert Wesker, Resident Evil 5
"I'm babysitting a group of children."
— Jade Curtiss, Tales of the Abyss
"See, THIS is why my evil plans always derail! Because you clods always goof off!"
—Bowser, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Ork: Uh, boss? I think we threw a gear-y thing!
Mek Badzappa: What?! You gits can't do anything right! I'll 'ave t' fix it meself!
Mek Badzappa: What?! You gits can't do anything right! I'll 'ave t' fix it meself!
— Dawn of War II
"Least I won't have to deal with you people anymore..."
— A Nomad to the Mooks under his command, as he's killed by the player, Borderlands 2
"What?! Ffffuck! Are you fucking kidding me?! What does it take to kill this son of a bitch?! I want him dead, right now! You kill him, right now! You hear me? You think you can do that? No, of course you can't do that. 'Cause you're a bunch of fuckin' pussies! I have to do fuckin' everything around here!"
— Blake Dexter, Hitman: Absolution
"I'm surrounded by fools..."
— K. Rool:, Donkey Kong 64
"Finally — finally — we have alighted on a land so stupid... a backwater so backwards... that even WE are like geniuses!"
—Dutch van der Linde, Red Dead Redemption 2
"Volga failed? Well of course he did... I'm surrounded by failures!"
—Cia after Volga is defeated the final time, Hyrule Warriors
"Imbeciles! Fools! Nincompoops! Can't you idiots do anything right?"
—Uka-Uka, Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex
"Fools! Feckless, useless morons! I'm surrounded by idiots! What have I done to deserve this? What crime have I committed that the universe would punish me so?"
—Xanthir Vang, Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous
"I swear... I am surrounded by incompetent fools."
"Still you fail to find him? Imbeciles! Search again-and do not return empty-handed!"
—Jasper, Dragon Quest XI
Visual Novels
"Gaaah, why is every guy I know an idiot!?"
—Kasumi Ayase, Dies Irae
Web Animation
Krusha: (inspecting invitation letter) Uhh, it came again.
Klump: How many times have we been over this? There's no Mr. Keith "Krudd" Rool residing within these walls, soldier! I don't even know who that is! Or why we keep getting his junk mail...
King K. Rool: (fires blunderbuss) Klump, my dearly, dauntless Klump... Remind me, if I ever were to kill myself, I could scale to the heights of your blind devotion... AND LEAP DOWN TOWARDS YOUR IQ!
Klump: ...You know, it's a very handsome name. (gets knocked over by second gunshot)
Klump: How many times have we been over this? There's no Mr. Keith "Krudd" Rool residing within these walls, soldier! I don't even know who that is! Or why we keep getting his junk mail...
King K. Rool: (fires blunderbuss) Klump, my dearly, dauntless Klump... Remind me, if I ever were to kill myself, I could scale to the heights of your blind devotion... AND LEAP DOWN TOWARDS YOUR IQ!
Klump: ...You know, it's a very handsome name. (gets knocked over by second gunshot)
Gen. Winfield Scott: So you're telling me, you guys nearly started a war with the strongest naval power in the world over the shooting of a pig?
Lyman Cutler: Yeah, now he's starting to get it!
Gen. William S. Harney: Not just the pig sir, the Brittish then threatened to arrest this poor, pure American soul!
Lyman Cutler: Thank you, General.
Gen. William S. Harney: Shut up, I don't care about you!
Gen. Winfield Scott: Okay. I've made up my mind. *Ahem* You're an idiot, you're an idiot, you're an idiot, you're an idiot, you're an idiot, you guys are fine, and you two, are the most mind-numbingly brain-dead ding-dongs I've ever encountered in all my life, and I'LL SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE!
Lyman Cutler: Yeah, now he's starting to get it!
Gen. William S. Harney: Not just the pig sir, the Brittish then threatened to arrest this poor, pure American soul!
Lyman Cutler: Thank you, General.
Gen. William S. Harney: Shut up, I don't care about you!
Gen. Winfield Scott: Okay. I've made up my mind. *Ahem* You're an idiot, you're an idiot, you're an idiot, you're an idiot, you're an idiot, you guys are fine, and you two, are the most mind-numbingly brain-dead ding-dongs I've ever encountered in all my life, and I'LL SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE!
— Oversimplified, on The Pig War
"How many cooking shows do we have to cancel because you keep getting drunk and making fools of yourselves on air?"
— Deborah to Barbie and Ken, Sam & Mickey ("The Ken Cooking Show")
Master Hand: IS EVERYONE ON DRUGS?!
SMG4: [Appearing out of nowhere] No, you're just in an SMG4 video.
SMG4: [Appearing out of nowhere] No, you're just in an SMG4 video.
— SMG4, "Stupid Smash Bros."
"How do you morons even BREATHE?!"
— Larry, Eddsworld
Web Comics
"Well, at least I shall die as I have lived. Completely surrounded by morons.
Black Mage, 8-Bit Theater
Zeetha: She sounds like an idiot.
Gil: Well, yes, but never a malicious one.
Zeetha: Is that important?
Gil: Heavens, yes! If I let everyone I thought was an idiot die, there wouldn't be many people left.
Gil: Well, yes, but never a malicious one.
Zeetha: Is that important?
Gil: Heavens, yes! If I let everyone I thought was an idiot die, there wouldn't be many people left.
I swear it's like running a kindergarten.
—Baron Klaus Wulfenbach, Girl Genius, v3p7
Jean: What I mean is... the only reason you're not up to your armpits in reporters, and scientists, and... new age loonies... is that everybody in this town is really, really dumb.
Bob: Well you live here!
Jean: I know.
Bob: Well you live here!
Jean: I know.
"Well, it's official. It's impossible to determine who's stupider than who. Every time I think I've got it locked down, someone says something, anything, and I have to start all over again."
— Drizz'l, having experienced both the Light and Dark Warriors, 8-Bit Theater
Web Original
"What's the point of having minions if they don't do your work for you! I should be watching the Home Shopping Network in my underwear, but NO, I have to go out and commit a murder!"
— Higuchi, Death Note: The Abridged Series (kpts4tv)
L, why?! Why did you leave me?! Why did you leave me alone with these IDIOTS! *sobbing* And... yeah, I'm over it now.
— Light Yagami, Death Note: The Abridged Series (kpts4tv)
Mello (after his minions have kidnapped an old grey-haired guy): I asked you to bring me Sayu Yagami. A 17 year old girl. Does this look like a 17 year old girl to you?
Minion 1: No...
Minion 2: Yes.
Minion 1: No...
Minion 2: Yes.
Nappa: The midget's next! (charges against Krillin)
Krillin: Wait! My turn, my turn, my turn!
(Nappa stops dead in his tracks)
Vegeta: ...Nappa, what are you doing?
Nappa: It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.
(Vegeta groans and has a nose bleed)
Nappa: You ok, Vegeta?
Vegeta: Yes, just... just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.
Nappa: Wow. I didn't think you were that stupid, Vegeta.
Vegeta: AAAAAAAAAAAAUAAAAAAAAUUAAUGHGHHHHHH!
Krillin: Wait! My turn, my turn, my turn!
(Nappa stops dead in his tracks)
Vegeta: ...Nappa, what are you doing?
Nappa: It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.
(Vegeta groans and has a nose bleed)
Nappa: You ok, Vegeta?
Vegeta: Yes, just... just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.
Nappa: Wow. I didn't think you were that stupid, Vegeta.
Vegeta: AAAAAAAAAAAAUAAAAAAAAUUAAUGHGHHHHHH!
Goku: Are you okay in there?
Vegeta: Yeah, I'm fan-fucking-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.
Goku: Oh, really? Can I come in too?
Vegeta: ...I'm surrounded by idiots.
Goku: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream...
Vegeta: WAAAAAAAAHHHHH (Vegeta destroys the mountain he was blasted into)
Vegeta: Yeah, I'm fan-fucking-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.
Goku: Oh, really? Can I come in too?
Vegeta: ...I'm surrounded by idiots.
Goku: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream...
Vegeta: WAAAAAAAAHHHHH (Vegeta destroys the mountain he was blasted into)
"I know it's obvious I'm a genius, but is everyone else this stupid?"
"I'm up to my tits in morons."
— Cpt. Morgan, None Piece
"He's as dumb as a bag of hammers, but he works cheap."
— Dr. Insano about his new evil minion, Chester A. Bum.
Why am I always in such a bad goddamn mood? Um... maybe because everyone is such a pain in the fucking ass all the time, did you ever think about that? I'm the boss of all these fucking assholes, and look what I work with! I work with a fucking redneck who runs around with half a hard on all the time, telling women he's got a Swiss Army dick and wants to fuck them in the back of his raised Corolla! Then there's the black snow patrol guy, who somehow manages to be more racist than the white guys who give him a watermelon on skis every year for his birthday, and do Sanford and Son reenactments in the break room on Friday nights just to piss him off! He's going to stab one of these motherfuckers in the dick, and I'm not going to be able to stop him! And that's just what I deal with at work! When I go home and try to relax, my wife's bratty kids are running around screaming, then she drops the bombshell on me that she wants to have another one. I've already got three! Four fucking kids?! Now I avoid my wife's pussy like it was a bear trap! I jerk off in secret in the bathroom now more than I did when I was 16! Oh, and I have shot a man in the face with a Howitzer and killed him! This is not the life I was meant to live!
— Ranger, Action Figure Therapy
I'm surrounded by morons. Please help me.
You were worth every cent. Truly you were.
— Roman Torchwick after his hired goons get their asses kicked by a teenage girl, RWBY
"I can't help but feel like I've sent five separate idiots to do various tasks."
— Game Grumps, "Paper Mario TTYD: Computer Love - PART 21"
If it seems like I have contempt for the American voter, it’s because I do. Frankly, most of you are fucking stupid. Most of you have no goddamn idea what it takes to run a country. [...] This is literally why we have a representative government. I know you don’t want to read long, boring things. So I do it for you, and I ask a bunch of smart people, and we come up with shit that works.
"Why can't villains ever hire competent henchmen?"
— Bobsheaux, in his review of Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper
Kayaba: Alright, now alright, now that I have your ears as well as your spines, allow me to indulge myself for a moment, and tell you all what every content creator has always wanted to say to their audience. [clears throat] FUCK. ALL. Y'ALL!
Asuna: Oh yeah, you can tell this is gonna be constructive.
Kayaba: Do you have any idea what it's been like trying to lead you people?! You ignore all of my strategies, you adamantly refuse to work together, and then you blame me! FOR ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS!
Soldier: Well, to be fair, sir, you're responsible for at least a few of them.
Kayaba: Ah--yes, I see your point. Although, a—and hear me out here—counter-point. [opens menu]
(Soldier screams and dies)
Kayaba: You're dead! HA! [sighs] I tried, you know. Lord knows I tried. But there's just no helping you people. It's like you crave death! But not just any death, noooo! You fuckers seem to have some sort of pool going to see who can end their existence in the dumbest, most avoidable way possible. And you just keep ONE-UPPING EACH OTHER! Do you know how many of you died screaming "Leeroy Jenkins"? More than zero! Which, as far as I'm concerned, is grounds to exterminate the species!
Asuna: Oh yeah, you can tell this is gonna be constructive.
Kayaba: Do you have any idea what it's been like trying to lead you people?! You ignore all of my strategies, you adamantly refuse to work together, and then you blame me! FOR ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS!
Soldier: Well, to be fair, sir, you're responsible for at least a few of them.
Kayaba: Ah--yes, I see your point. Although, a—and hear me out here—counter-point. [opens menu]
(Soldier screams and dies)
Kayaba: You're dead! HA! [sighs] I tried, you know. Lord knows I tried. But there's just no helping you people. It's like you crave death! But not just any death, noooo! You fuckers seem to have some sort of pool going to see who can end their existence in the dumbest, most avoidable way possible. And you just keep ONE-UPPING EACH OTHER! Do you know how many of you died screaming "Leeroy Jenkins"? More than zero! Which, as far as I'm concerned, is grounds to exterminate the species!
—Sword Art Online Abridged (Episode 11)
"Am I the only person in this conspiracy who's not clinically retarded?! Throw me a fricken bone here, people!"
—Minister Foss, Berserk Abridged
"I need a t-shirt that says 'I'm with stupid' and there's just arrows pointing in every direction."
Western Animation
Spongebob: (impersonating Squidward) Everybody's an idiot except for me!
Squidward: Well, it's true.
Squidward: Well, it's true.
— SpongeBob SquarePants, "I Had an Accident"
"I'm surrounded by defective circuitry..."
— Dr. Ivo Robotnik, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
"The people in this town are literally the dumbest people in the world. Literally."
— Grunkle Stan, Gravity Falls, "Summerween"
Morons. I've got morons on my team.
— Scrooge McDuck, DuckTales (1987)
How did someone so brilliant raise such morons?
— Ma Beagle, DuckTales (2017)
Edd: ...I'm surrounded by idiots.
Eddy: Who's complainin'?
Eddy: Who's complainin'?
Ed: Do not taunt the trike, Double-D.
Eddy: Yeah, what'd the trike ever do to you?
Edd: (deadpan) ...I'm conversing with puerile imps.
Eddy: Yeah, what'd the trike ever do to you?
Edd: (deadpan) ...I'm conversing with puerile imps.
"MORONS! I have MORONS on my payroll!"
— Cobra Commander, G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero
"Why are great men always surrounded by lesser beings?!"
— Cobra Commander, G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero
"You four take care of the Avatar. Do not underestimate her."
(one escape sequence later)
"I thought I told you not to underestimate her?"
(one escape sequence later)
"I thought I told you not to underestimate her?"
— Amon, The Legend of Korra
"FOOLS! I'm surrounded by FOOLS!"
— Badrang, Redwall
Moblin: I'm sorry, Lord Ganon.
Ganon: (sarcastically) You're sorry... YOU'RE SORRY! Blast these incompetent servants!
(teleports in front of Evil Jar)
Ganon: YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS!
Ganon: (sarcastically) You're sorry... YOU'RE SORRY! Blast these incompetent servants!
(teleports in front of Evil Jar)
Ganon: YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS!
"Attention New New Yorkers: STOP ACTING SO STUPID!"
— Fry, Futurama
"All the ponies in this town are crazy!"
— Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
AAAARGH!!! You Watchdogs are all USELESS! I have never encountered a more pathetic excuse for an evil army in ALL my life! Stupid! Idiots! Imbeciles! NO!! AAAGH! All I want is for you guys to do something, anything right, for once! IS THAT SO HARD?!
— Lord Hater, Wander over Yonder
Klump: The best we can tell the apes are mounting a full force search-and-rescue operation in the mountain mines, sir!
K. Rool: What could they possibly be looking for in the mountain mines?
Krusha: Duh uh, rocks?
K. Rool: Rocks? Of course! LIKE THE KIND IN YOUR HEAD! What's their target, Klump?
Klump: Buried treasure, sir!
K. Rool: Any idea what sort of treasure?
Klump: Err... Rocks?
K. Rool: (to himself) Oh... Where have I failed?
K. Rool: What could they possibly be looking for in the mountain mines?
Krusha: Duh uh, rocks?
K. Rool: Rocks? Of course! LIKE THE KIND IN YOUR HEAD! What's their target, Klump?
Klump: Buried treasure, sir!
K. Rool: Any idea what sort of treasure?
Klump: Err... Rocks?
K. Rool: (to himself) Oh... Where have I failed?
"It's at times like this I ask myself, do I really want the coconut this badly?"
— King K. Rool, Donkey Kong Country
Blackarachnia: Why do you always talk to yourself?
Megatron: Ah, I simply have a penchant for... intelligent conversation.
Megatron: Ah, I simply have a penchant for... intelligent conversation.
"Someone had to check on you imbeciles! Together, you don't have half the brains of a head of lettuce! I knew you nincompoops couldn't be trusted to perform a simple act of surveillance!"
— Burdine Maxwell to the Tweevils, Bratz ("Slumber Party")
"I have to be brilliant just to make up for them!"
— Skeletor, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983)
"Arrrrrgh—why do I surround myself with fools?! Even the robots are smarter than you!"
— Skeletor again, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983)
"I expected Governor Pryce to fail, but not so completely."
—Grand Admiral Thrawn, Star Wars Rebels
Gah! I'm surrounded by stupids!
— Trader Moe, Talespin
Kraang Subprime: You guys are as dumb as a box of rocks! Seriously! What's taking you so long? It's been three months!
Kraang: Much of Kraang's Mutagen supply was spent in the invasion of the city known as New York City.
Kraang Subprime: What is it with the “Kraang's invasion of the city known as New York City”?! What is that?! We've been here for thousands of years. YOU CAN'T EVEN SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH!?
Kraang: Kraang does not understand the query known as Kraang Subprime's query.
Kraang Subprime: I should vaporize your sorry, pink, tentacled butt for insubordi-what?
(The Mutanimals charge straight into the encampment as the Kraang soldiers just watch)
Kraang Subprime: I am surrounded by incompetence! Go! Move it! Hustle! Get them!
Kraang: Much of Kraang's Mutagen supply was spent in the invasion of the city known as New York City.
Kraang Subprime: What is it with the “Kraang's invasion of the city known as New York City”?! What is that?! We've been here for thousands of years. YOU CAN'T EVEN SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH!?
Kraang: Kraang does not understand the query known as Kraang Subprime's query.
Kraang Subprime: I should vaporize your sorry, pink, tentacled butt for insubordi-what?
(The Mutanimals charge straight into the encampment as the Kraang soldiers just watch)
Kraang Subprime: I am surrounded by incompetence! Go! Move it! Hustle! Get them!
— Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012), "Battle for New York Part 1"
Other
"If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again."
— #88, Evil Overlord List
I have given you the facts. I can’t give you the brains.
— Almroth Wright
What a heavy load Einstein must have had. Fucking morons everywhere.
I don’t know them, but I’m reminded of that old line from the "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" movie where one character says, 'Morons. I’ve got morons on my team.'
— Senator Mitt Romney, February 27, 2022, after two members of his political party appeared as speakers at a white nationalist rally.
