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Quotes / Strange Magic

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Narrator/Fairy King: This is a story about two kingdoms, side by side, but worlds apart. At the border grew magical flowers; primroses, blooming between light and darkness. They were used to make a love potion. Because, after all, everyone deserves to be loved.

Bog King: I hate this time of year. Spring. Send more goblins to cut down every primrose! No primroses, no potion. No potion, no love. Because love is dangerous. It weakens ... It rots. It destroys order. And without order, what is left? Chaos. Destroy the primroses! Or I will destroy you.

Roland: [after getting caught cheating on his fiancée, the Crown Princess] I am so ... not getting my army.

Dawn: [Happy humming]
Marianne: So that's how you react to a near death experience?
Dawn: [Even happier humming].

Fairy King: [escorting Marianne to the dance] Please smile.
Marianne: [sighs; then smiles a wide, uncomfortable smile at the King]
Fairy King: A real smile.
Marianne: [through her teeth] This is one of my better ones.

Marianne: You cheated on me, remember?
Roland: You left me at the altar. Remember? (Note that the events also happened in that order.)

Minion 1: Wow. Marianne slammed him pretty good.
Minion 2: Well, so much for being king.
Roland: [shuts the door that was hiding him] You think I can't be king?!
Minions: King Roland!
Minion 3: But, uh, wouldn't he have to marry Marianne?
Minion 1: Yes, and he will. We just need to get some of that "love potion".
Roland: You're saying I need a love potion?
Minion 1: No!
Minion 2: It was just a joke!
Minion 3: We have to ... go ... [they fly away]
Minion 1: Just kidding, Boss!
Roland: [deep breath] Okay. All I have to do is - visualize. The crown, sitting on top of my perfect - [gets hit by the opening door again, this time by Sunny, who Roland realizes is watching Dawn dancing] Hey. Listen, uh ... elf? I know just how you feel.
Sunny: Yeah. Marianne slammed you pretty good. [Roland glares, then starts fake-crying. Sunny looks uncomfortable, but sits down beside him on the stairs.] Man, you've got it bad.
Roland: I just wish, [sniffles] I wish there was some way to make her love me again! You know, maybe something like a love potion.
Sunny: Like a love potion!
Roland: Great idea! [pats Sunny on the back hard enough to knock him down a few steps]
Sunny: It is a great idea! Except, only the Sugar Plum Fairy knows how to make the love potions; she's locked away in the Dark Forest; nobody ever goes into the Dark Forest!
Roland: But I know ... you can.
Sunny: But why can't you?
Roland: [stands up] Cause I'm big! My armour, it's too [reflects light into Sunny's eyes] shiny. I'd be spotted for sure. If only I was ... little, like you.
Sunny: [slumping] Oh.
Roland: And I could blend in, like you.
Sunny: [sadly] I do blend in.
Roland: [sitting and fake-crying again] Oh, it would have been perfect! And then we'd both - you know, me, and you - both use the love potion!
Sunny: I'll do it!
Roland: You will?
Sunny: If you stop crying.
Roland: Oh. Oh, I'm feeling much better now.

Fairy King: Marianne, you’re a … unique girl. And Roland may have a few flaws –
Marianne: Understatement!
Fairy King: But he still loves you.
Marianne: He loves the crown. And his hair. And not in that order.
Fairy King: But if not Roland, then, there has to be someone else.
Marianne: No, there doesn’t.
Fairy King: Maybe if you got out more?
Marianne: Let it go, Dad.
Fairy King: You’ll be a stronger ruler with a king at your side.
Marianne: I’m stronger alone.
Fairy King: … I don’t want you to be alone.
Marianne: Look, Dad. I promise, if I meet a guy out there who takes my hand, and looks me in the eyes, and I don’t wanna hit him, I’ll consider it. But that guy doesn’t exist.

Sunny: Look, I'm usually a guy who enjoys a good joke, even at my own expense. But right now, I'm not in a "ha-ha" frame of mind. I'm in an "ah!" frame of mind.

Sunny: I need you to make a love potion -
Sugarplum: How do you think I got in here? The Bog King won't listen to me about what happened on that fateful day, and I've been locked away for so long...
Sunny: That fateful day?
Sugarplum: [gasp] You were listening! So I'll do it.

Sugarplum: Directions: Dust the one you love; stand in front; be the first she sees when she opens her eyes.
Sunny: Got it! Dust the first eyes you see, be in the front, and stand on the one you love.

Sugarplum: [released from her cell] I'M FREE! I'm free! I'm free - Did I mention I'm free?
Sunny: [hissing] Free? We're still in the dungeons!

Thang: Where'd he go?
Stuff: He disappeared!
Thang: Can elves disappear?
Stuff: If they're magic.
Thang: Is he magic?
Stuff: ... Well, he disappeared!
Thang: Sorry.

Marianne: [being held down by two goblins] Release my sister, you scaly-backed cockroach!
Bog King: Return the love potion by moon-down, tough girl, or you'll never see your sister again.
Marianne: I'll have your head on a stick! [frees one arm and punches him in the face]

Bog King: Bring me the prisoner.
Stuff: I get to rip her wings off!
Unnamed Goblin: I want the wishbone.
Bog King: NO EATING! [other goblins all groan in disappointment]

Bog King: If you don't keep your mouth shut, I'm gonna rip your wings off, my pretty little fairy princess.
Dawn: [under the influence of a love potion] Flirt. [slaps a boutonniere onto his chest]
Bog King: What is that?
Dawn: I made it special for you.
Bog King: For ... me?
Dawn: It looks good on you. I hope you like it.
Bog King: [fiercely] This isn't - [clears throat] Well, um, thank you. It's ... lovely. [Dawn starts singing again] No! No, no, no, no - What you're feeling is the potion, you know ... No, I suppose you don't. [covers his ears] Please, stop! [Dawn stops; Bog gets an idea] You must be tired from all that singing.
Dawn: I could sing FOREVER!
Bog King: No! No. Why don't you have a wee nap? I promise I won't go far.
Dawn: [yawns and settles down to sleep on a toadstool] Wait! Please tell me your name?
Bog King: I am the Bog King.
Dawn: [happy sigh] My Boggy-woggy Kingy-wingy.
Bog King: Bog. King.
Dawn: Boggy Kingy-wingy.
Bog King: King.
Dawn: Kingy-wingy.
Bog King: King.
Dawn: [yawns] G'night. Sweet Boggy-woggy.
Bog King: ... Good night.

Thang: Nice button-ear!
Stuff: Not "button-ear", it's boutonniere!
Thang: No, I think it's button-ear.
Stuff: It's boot-in-ear!

Bog King: You fight well- for a fairy.
Marianne: Wish I could say the same for you!
Bog King: What do you mean?
Marianne: I dunno. I was expecting... more?

Goblin Guard: [trying to keep Dawn asleep so she won't start singing again] Rock-a-bye, fairy, away in your cell. Scream your head off, but no one can tell.

Bog King: [hears Dawn start singing again] The beast ... has awoken!
Marianne: Oh, no. What did she fall in love with?

Marianne: You?
Bog King: Yes.
Marianne: Antidote?
Bog King: Working on it.
Marianne: I know she's the kind of girl who falls in love with every guy she sees, but this is ridiculous!

Thang: Sire, I forgot to mention you forgot your weapon upstairs. But I found your boutonnière!

Marianne: You know, I really enjoyed our fight, but I'll be taking my sister home now -
Dawn: Oh, no you're not! [hugs Bog] Boggy-bear!
Bog King: Bog King. Let's go back to our cell now, shall we?
Dawn: Anything for you, Boggy-woggy. [goes back into her prison cell]
Bog King Uh, Bog ...
Marianne: Don't listen to him!
Dawn: You are not the boss of me! And don't even think about stealing my Boggy!
Bog King: Bog! [to Marianne] She stays here until I get the potion back.
Marianne: Forget the potion! Get the antidote!

Bog King: [Staring at tacky love accessories his mother put up] Why would she...?
Bog King and Marianne: Oh... [quickly step away from each other]
Marianne: Who likes this?
Bog King: Not me.
Marianne: I hate it.
Bog King: I hate it more!

Bog King: [sees Marianne stomp on the boutonniere Dawn made for him] Wait! I ... actually sort of ... like this one.
Marianne: Oh. [not knowing her sister made it] ... Why?
Bog King: I, um ... I don't know.
Marianne: Well, it's, uh ... It's ... lovely.

Marianne: Roland, you are such a -
Roland: Hero, to rescue you from, what did you call him? A "scaly-backed cockroach"? [starts hissing and making faces, presumably imitating a roach.]
Bog King: [to Marianne] Wait. Is that ... the guy?
Marianne: *cringes*

Bog King [backing away from Dawn] Please don't sing!

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