Quotes / Straight Gay

Jeff: I'm gay.
Glenn: But you're so... blah.

— Superstore

“A homosexual man is a man 100 per cent. He does not need to dress homosexual. When homosexuality is exhibited to the extreme — to say: "Ah, you know I’m homosexual," — that has nothing to do with me. A man has to be a man."

—Giorgio Armani

"The man is epic. He's a man's man. It's incredible, I said that in chat, and a friend pointed out that he's actually gay. I didn't know that. As far as I'm concerned, that's rad...It's not news to me that gay guys can portray masculine better than most straight guys, I mean, heck, it's a survival instinct AND a cover story for some, but I have rarely been so fooled as I have been with John Glover, and the cool thing is, I don't think it's because he's hiding his sexuality, I think it's because he's an awesome actor."

—Neal Bailey on Smallville ("Noir")

"State Senator Jim Ferlo, the Pennsylvania State Senator who came out to the public during a press conference yesterday morning by basically blurting out, 'Yeah, I like dick AND?' ...Jim Ferlo spit out some 'We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!' shit AND he quoted REO Speedwagon. This is how it's done."

—DListed, "Hot Slut of the Day"

"He's not a nancy or anything. He's a proper man, Mr. Alice. He's just a proper man who likes to fuck other men, that's all."

— Mr. Smith on his employer, Keepsakes and Treasures

"You don't notice anything. If I hadn't spent the last four years fellating you I'd swear you were straight."

—Prior Walter, Angels in America: Millennium Approaches

"He is gay, guys. Only he doesn't talk about it all the time, on account of having interests outside of being gay?"

—Ryan North on Utahraptor, Dinosaur Comics^note in title text for comic 1129.

Agent Paul Smecker: "What are you doing?"
Guy he'd just hooked up with: "I just wanted to cuddle."
Smecker: "Cuddle? What a fag."

—The Boondock Saints

Penny: Come on, Max, lets go to the farmer's market! There's a trunk show at Shoe-La-La and then we can brunch it up!
Max: Do you know what sounds more fun? Being in wet clothes and watching Schindler's List.
Penny: You are the worst gay husband ever.

— Happy Endings

Roseanne: You couldn't be any gayer if your name was Gay Gayerson.
Leon: Oh yeah, well think about it. I hate to shop, I am absolutely insensitive, I detest Barbara Streisand, and for God's sake I'm a Republican!
Roseanne: But do you like having sex with men?
Leon: Well it's-
Roseanne: GAY!

—Roseanne

Phil: Dude, I've been out for years. Sue never mentioned it to you?
Steve: But how? You're the biggest fratboy dudebro I've ever met. You say things like "broseph" and "chillax", you're crude, you're FAT! How can you be gay?
Phil: Hey, that's gay-cist bro.
Steve: I thought gay guys were supposed to be like... well-dressed, well-groomed, effeminate and skinny.
Phil: So... more like you?

—Cheer Up Emo Kid

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