"The socialists believe that money should be free, but then the economy would fall apart and then the president would have too much control! And liberals are even worse. They believe in things like veganism and rights for the homosexuals!" (Chapter 2)
"'Isn't it a bit strange that men are cooking the food? That is supposed to be a woman's job, as women were created to cook, clean, and serve their husbands,' observed Misty." (Chapter 3)
"'You liar! By writing about evolution, you're going against the word of God! Convert now, you daemon!' screamed Ash, as he ran onto the stage." (Chapter 4)
"The man turned around and smiled warmly at them, as a member of the church should. The man was tall and skinny, and had flowing dark hair. He was certainly an attractive man, and his indigo shirt was unbuttoned just enough to see his masculine chest hair. He was the ideal Christian husband." (Chapter 5)
"Jezebel grabbed the cakes and cookies that she had baked, and handed them to Ash and Misty. The two children eagerly consumed them, as there was nothing more delicious than homemade food cooked by a Christian wife." (Chapter 6)
"Elesa and the boy, who Ash and Misty concluded was named Brock, began kissing each other, but not in a Christian way. Good Christians should be satisfied with a small peck on the cheek, but Elesa and Brock were doing what the youths call 'making out.' Ash felt disgusted." (Chapter 7)
"'Whatever! We're just going to go home and watch Nyan Neko Sugar Girls and get away from you Christians,' said Elesa." (Chapter 7)
"Elesa hated learning about God, as she was a temptress of sin, but Brock had accepted the words of the Lord eagerly." (Chapter 8)
"'We don't want to turn to Christ! We want to read the 'Dracula' and 'Harry Potter,' as they are of the devil, and the devil is better than God!' the crowd yelled." (Chapter 8)
"Brock's screams were low-pitched, not high-pitched. Only women may have high-pitched voices, as the Lord commands them to be feminine." (Chapter 8)
"The 'Dracula' also contained vampires, which are still not of the Lord, but they are not as bad as counts." (Chapter 8)
"I heard you were having trouble with typing in all capital letters. It appears that you are in "caps lock." If you click "caps lock" again, it will turn off, and you will be able to type normally. I had the same problem too when I first started writing, as my husband usually forbids me from using the computer (I got special permission from him to use the computer to write my Christ-centered story.)" (Chapter 9)
"'Isn't that a felony?' Brock asked. 'It's not a felony if it's for Jesus,' replied Charles." (Chapter 9)
"They entered the airport, and the employees, who were obviously atheists, asked the four Christians to go through security. Charles sent out his Sigilyph angel, who hypnotized the employees into letting the Christians go through." (Chapter 9)
"Misty looked at the pilot and felt extremely uncomfortable. The pilot was a girl, and she was wearing a blue crop top and very short shorts. She was breaking God's commandments by having a career as a woman and by dressing immodestly!" (Chapter 9)
"'I am so excited to finally be able to serve a man! Who will my new husband be?' Misty asked, smiling warmly." (Chapter 10)
"Unfortunately, King Colress was NOT a man of the Lord. He preferred to listen to the sinful music of 'Neil Cicierega' and read the 'Dracula.'" (Chapter 10)
"'No! This inn is for socialists and liberals only, not Christians!' N exclaimed." (Chapter 10)
"'He's on the set of 'The Hunger Games 5.' In this movie, he is trapped in a island with Josh Hutcherson, and he needs to escape. But when he tries to leave, he gets trapped on a blizzard with Jennifer Lawrence,' explained the actor. 'Don't you mean 'trapped on an island' and 'trapped in a blizzard?'' Brock asked. 'No,' replied the actor." (Chapter 11)
"The children turned around to see a skinny, attractive man with long, luscious, flowing, green locks of hair. It was N, the socialist liberal!" (Chapter 11)
"'You mean 'my father and me,'' Brock corrected, as homosexual socialist liberals are too stupid to know proper grammar." (Chapter 11)
"'[Ghetsis] makes movies for China, because he is a communist dictator. He's besties with the Chinese government,' N explained." (Chapter 11)
"'Why would you give your position to a WOMAN?! Women are NOT supposed to have careers! It is sinful! You have disgraced the Lord your God!' screamed Ash, in a very masculine voice as always." (Chapter 12)
"'My name's Iris, also known as SexyDragonTamerIris42069 on TikTok! Are you here to challenge me, baby?' she asked, with a sinful smirk upon her face." (Chapter 12)
"Before long, the Christians were surrounded by the possessed "subscribers," who were all quoting Iris's cult leader, SoapOpera46. Their daemonic power caused Pikachu to instantly faint! What would the children do?!" (Chapter 12)
