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Game quotes
Travis: I know a lot of gamers out there don't have much patience. Least that's what Bishop, the dude at the video store said. So I'm at the register, then I realize I got no money. I was seriously broke. Why? Cuz I met this smokin' hot chick last night at the Death-Match bar. Man, she smelled good! So being the gentleman I am, I bought her a drink. Anyhoo, I decide to get a job. The gig: assassinate the Drifter. So I went where I was supposed to and waited for the guy to show up. And there he was. This cat. Well dressed, cool. Couldn't tell if he was "the shit"...or just plain ol' shit. Yeah, so he's stylin', fast, aggressive and packin' heat. Bada Bing! Or at least it was supposed to be... Til she showed up. Her name: Sylvia Christel. An agent with this whatchamacallit Association.
Sylvia: Congratulations. You are certified as the 11th-best hit man. How about getting rid of the ten killers above you and aim for the top?
Travis: I wanna be number one. How's that? Short and simple enough for you? It's gonna be a long, hard road. But who knows? Could kick ass... Could be dangerous. Could totally suck. Whaddaya say, bro? Join me. Let's see how far we can take this. And for you there holding the Wii Remote/controller right now... Just press the A/○ (Circle)/START Button. Let the bloodshed begin.
—The intro to the first game
This count... I feel as if I'm looking at my future self. Mega bucks, big ass house, fast cars... Dining in style with a world class chef and a trusty nutritionist counting every calorie. A team of hot yoga instructors to keep me in shape. Nurses to attend to my body... Maids and loyal servants at my beck and call. On the weekends, tanned babes knocking on my door every two hours. Every day full of excitement and luxury. That'd be the life. Everything in its right place. It's the perfect life. It's the life for winners. That'll be my life! I thirst for selflessness. Hypocrites lusting for their own desires get killed by young rookies like me. This is how it goes down. And for the old killers? They'll croak anyway. I guess you can call this a comedy. I realize there's really nothing here for me. But what else can I do but keep going? Maybe I should have been a little more careful before I jumped in. Gotta find the exit. Gotta find that exit to Paradise. But, I can't see it. Can't see anything. There's this sense of doom running down my spine, like it's... Like it's trying to suck the life out of me. I need to get rid of it before I bail. Something deeper... Deeper than my instincts is taunting me. Can't find the exit. Can't find the exit. Can't find the exit. Can't find the exit. Can't find the exit.
—Travis' internal monologue as he fights Death Metal
See that? Now that was a battle! Look at this blood! We humans are alive. Even if we ARE assassins. Doesn't matter if it's a video game, movie, drama, anime, MANGA, WE'RE ALIVE! People shed blood, and die. This isn't a game! You can't just selfishly use death as your tool. THIS is Alice's blood. I bet you've already forgotten she existed. Same way you would've forgotten me!! And THAT'S why I'm tearing down THE UAA!
—Travis' Kirk Summation to Sylvia after the 2nd ranked fight with Alice Twilight, No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
As you can see, things got all funky real quick. There's probably some planet-eating type dude waiting for me up ahead, all yoked up and powerful and trying to take over the world or something. But don't you worry. A hero descends. What? There are no heroes in this world? Oh but there totally are. My name is Travis Touchdown. I'm the last hero around, here to save the world. I'm also just a passing assassin. Here we go... Takin' a kill trip on Death Road!
—Travis' speech after taking out the first enemies of the alien spaceship, No More Heroes III
Travis: What, you got news? Does it have to be, like, now?! For reals? The first No More Heroes is getting ported to Nintendo Switch?! HELL YEAH! ... No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle is coming to the Switch, too?! When's it drop?
AVAILABLE LATER TODAY
Travis: Oh, snap! That's awesome! Moe! Moe! Super Moe!
AVAILABLE LATER TODAY
Travis: Oh, snap! That's awesome! Moe! Moe! Super Moe!
—Trailer for No More Heroes III
, Nintendo Direct Mini — October 2020
, Nintendo Direct Mini — October 2020 Lyrics to "The Virgin Child Makes Her Wish Without Feeling Anything" (Dr. Peace's song):
Despair, the end of the world
I hear the rising phoenix in my dreams
And the virgin child made her wish upon a star
That night her mother talks no more
Cape of Hope, the end of the dream
A shiny fish splashes in a stream
And the virgin child loses her heart and soul
That night her mother's eyes see no more
When the wind blows
The virgin child's corpse sings a song
Such a pretty melody, never heard before
No more lullabies
The virgin child, smiles from Hell
I hear the rising phoenix in my dreams
And the virgin child made her wish upon a star
That night her mother talks no more
Cape of Hope, the end of the dream
A shiny fish splashes in a stream
And the virgin child loses her heart and soul
That night her mother's eyes see no more
When the wind blows
The virgin child's corpse sings a song
Such a pretty melody, never heard before
No more lullabies
The virgin child, smiles from Hell
