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Anime & Manga
Hitomi: For you two [Madoka and Sayaka] to have gotten so close in just one night— what did you do after I left yesterday?!
Sayaka: I can't believe she's going there...
Hitomi: You're both girls! [runs away] Girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls!
Sayaka: I can't believe she's going there...
Hitomi: You're both girls! [runs away] Girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls!
Comic Books
Captain America: Attention, Hulk! This is Captain America speaking again! You see these spacecraft in the sky? The big triangular machines? Well, I was talking to the pilots earlier, and you know what they told me? You know what they were saying about you, Hulk? These guys called you a sissy boy, buddy. You really gonna let them get away with that?
Hulk: No! Hulk no sissy boy... HULK STRAIGHT!!
Hulk: No! Hulk no sissy boy... HULK STRAIGHT!!
Fan Works
Student: About time. You let him drag on you a lot.
Riley: Excuse moi? [gives them an odd look]
Female student: Yeah, I mean really. I mean, you two stick so close some of us were starting to wonder if you were... you know...
Riley: [gives her a deadpan look] Considering he and I once spent an hour debating what it would feel like to touch a boob, I think that's a NO, sugarbutt.
Riley: Excuse moi? [gives them an odd look]
Female student: Yeah, I mean really. I mean, you two stick so close some of us were starting to wonder if you were... you know...
Riley: [gives her a deadpan look] Considering he and I once spent an hour debating what it would feel like to touch a boob, I think that's a NO, sugarbutt.
— Coyote
"I'm just saying," Michael continued without malice, bending to do something delicate and ornate with the fuel pump, "that certain... traits have been called to my attention and I just wanted to let you know that it makes absolutely no difference in our friendship. You are the same man that I met and respected years ago."
"Thank you, Michael, that means a lot to me," Harry said sincerely. "It would probably mean much more if I were actually gay."
"Thank you, Michael, that means a lot to me," Harry said sincerely. "It would probably mean much more if I were actually gay."
Hoshi Sato: Um, Malcolm, is there a reason you brought me to this street?
Malcolm Reed: Well, I must confess I prefer the atmosphere on this street.
Hoshi Sato: I'm so sorry I never made the connection. I know how difficult it still is for men like you to be open.
Malcolm Reed: Well, I don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm glad you understand. There are still too many men leering at a Starfleet officer for my tastes.
Hoshi Sato: Malcolm, you should feel flattered. They're all staring at you.
Malcolm Reed: [thinking] I am a dim-witted git. I have clear evidence of this because it took me almost thirty minutes to realise we were on the gay side of the city. Suddenly the conversation with Hoshi took on an entirely different context. I am doomed. Hoshi now thinks I am a sleazy, gay, alcoholic weapons jock who can't take care of a dumb animal.
[later]
Hoshi Sato: You know, why are all the best guys gay? It's just not fair.
Liz Cutler: Gay? Our chief engineer? Hoshi, the last name is Tuck-her, not Tuck-him. Believe me, every cell in his body is geared for loving women.
Malcolm Reed: Well, I must confess I prefer the atmosphere on this street.
Hoshi Sato: I'm so sorry I never made the connection. I know how difficult it still is for men like you to be open.
Malcolm Reed: Well, I don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm glad you understand. There are still too many men leering at a Starfleet officer for my tastes.
Hoshi Sato: Malcolm, you should feel flattered. They're all staring at you.
Malcolm Reed: [thinking] I am a dim-witted git. I have clear evidence of this because it took me almost thirty minutes to realise we were on the gay side of the city. Suddenly the conversation with Hoshi took on an entirely different context. I am doomed. Hoshi now thinks I am a sleazy, gay, alcoholic weapons jock who can't take care of a dumb animal.
[later]
Hoshi Sato: You know, why are all the best guys gay? It's just not fair.
Liz Cutler: Gay? Our chief engineer? Hoshi, the last name is Tuck-her, not Tuck-him. Believe me, every cell in his body is geared for loving women.
"Everyone has always thought you were homosexual, angel. People in countries that wouldn't have names for hundreds of years, people in ancient Greece, people in Rome, people in France and Russia and England and Zimbabwe. The people here in this little neighborhood think so too, and I suppose some of them are quite offended that you've got a live-in, but most of them don't really care about you one way or the other, and the rest are quite pleased. Don't worry about it. Do you think I should take to gardening in tiny cut-off jean shorts?"
— Crowley to Aziraphale in the Good Omens fanfic A Precise and Accurate History of Monday, Eleven Years Later
Film — Animated
"I see. You can't have one of your own, so you want to adopt."
— Diego, Ice Age, after seeing Manny and Sid defending a human child, claiming it's "theirs", and drawing the wrong conclusion
Barry Allen: No, mom, I'm fine. But everything else has... changed. And I have to find out why. I think it probably has something to do with me being...
Nora Allen: Gay?
Barry: What? No...
Nora: It's okay. I love you no matter what.
Nora Allen: Gay?
Barry: What? No...
Nora: It's okay. I love you no matter what.
Film — Live-Action
Marcus: My ass stills hurts from what you did to it the other night!
Mike: Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get.
Marcus: When you popped me from behind, I think you damaged some nerves!
Angry customer: [to the store manager] In front of my babies, you got porno and homo shows up in here? What kind of freak-ass store is this?! [to Marcus and Mike, as they're walking out] And you two motherfuckers need Jesus!
Mike: Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get.
Marcus: When you popped me from behind, I think you damaged some nerves!
Angry customer: [to the store manager] In front of my babies, you got porno and homo shows up in here? What kind of freak-ass store is this?! [to Marcus and Mike, as they're walking out] And you two motherfuckers need Jesus!
"I mean, everybody thinks I'm this big dyke because... 'cause I wear baggy pants, I play softball, and... and I'm not as pretty as other girls, but that doesn't make me gay. I mean, I like guys. I can't help it."
— Jan, But I'm a Cheerleader
Randal: (to Dante) You're my best friend, and I love you...in a totally heterosexual way.
Jay: Yea right.
Jay: Yea right.
"Can't a dude stick his hand down another man's pants without setting off the faggot alarm?"
— T.J. Hicks, Deuce Bigalow
Scott: I'm in love with my pen pal! I'm in love with Mike!
Cooper: Okay, okay. You know what? I was actually expecting this. And frankly, listen, I'm flattered that you picked me to come out to first. And don't worry about telling your folks, 'cause... eh, I think they already know.
Scott: No, you idiot, Mike is a girl!
Cooper: No, no, no, I get it, yeah. He's the girl, you're the girl. Sometimes you're both the girl. Right, right? That's hot. But, you know, whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it.
Cooper: Okay, okay. You know what? I was actually expecting this. And frankly, listen, I'm flattered that you picked me to come out to first. And don't worry about telling your folks, 'cause... eh, I think they already know.
Scott: No, you idiot, Mike is a girl!
Cooper: No, no, no, I get it, yeah. He's the girl, you're the girl. Sometimes you're both the girl. Right, right? That's hot. But, you know, whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it.
— EuroTrip
Grace: Do you have a girlfriend?
Alex: No.
Grace: How old are you now?
Alex: I'll be 36 in October.
Grace: My grandson's gay, too. I'll give you his number.
Alex: No.
Grace: How old are you now?
Alex: I'll be 36 in October.
Grace: My grandson's gay, too. I'll give you his number.
Lancelot: We were in the nick of time, you were in a great peril.
Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were, you were in a terrible peril!
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril!
Lancelot: No, it was too perilous!
Galahad: Look, it's a duty of a knight to sample as much peril as I can!
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Galahad: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No, it's unhealthy.
Galahad: Bet you're gay!
Lancelot: No, I'm not.
Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were, you were in a terrible peril!
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril!
Lancelot: No, it was too perilous!
Galahad: Look, it's a duty of a knight to sample as much peril as I can!
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Galahad: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No, it's unhealthy.
Galahad: Bet you're gay!
Lancelot: No, I'm not.
Vanilla: What's the matter with you, Will? Don't you like girls?
Will: Well, you're... you're... you're too forward.
Cpt. Peter Lassard: I need to get my hands on some healthy young men.
Cmd. Eric Lassard: [awkwardly] ...I guess there are places you could go... certain bars and so on...
Peter: Eric, what are you talking about?
Eric: Does Margret know about this?
Peter: Eric, I'm in trouble here and I need some new recruits!
Eric: Oooooh! That's easy!
Cmd. Eric Lassard: [awkwardly] ...I guess there are places you could go... certain bars and so on...
Peter: Eric, what are you talking about?
Eric: Does Margret know about this?
Peter: Eric, I'm in trouble here and I need some new recruits!
Eric: Oooooh! That's easy!
— Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment
Michael: She thinks I'm gay! I told her about Julie and she thinks I'm gay!
George: Julie thinks you're gay?
Michael: No, my friend Sandy.
George: Sleep with her!
Michael: I slept with her already! She's still thinks I'm gay.
George: ...Oh, that's not good, Michael.
George: Julie thinks you're gay?
Michael: No, my friend Sandy.
George: Sleep with her!
Michael: I slept with her already! She's still thinks I'm gay.
George: ...Oh, that's not good, Michael.
— Tootsie
Gordon: Come on, touch my breast. Just one.
Coleman: I knew it!
West: Now touch my breast. See, that's what a breast is supposed to feel like. Now touch yourself.
Gordon: Oh my God, I'm hard!
Coleman: I knew it!
West: Now touch my breast. See, that's what a breast is supposed to feel like. Now touch yourself.
Gordon: Oh my God, I'm hard!
Literature
There were three things that people assumed upon first meeting Aziraphale: That he was intelligent, that he was British, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys high on nitrous oxide.
"They was buggering each other in there! The retard and the pretty boy! Warwick and me caught 'em with their dicks out!"
— Sonny Singer, The Talisman
Live-Action TV
Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.
— 30 Rock
"Hang on... He reckons we're a pair of lesbians! Either that or you've had it off with a kebab."
— Sharon Theodopolopodous, Birds of a Feather, "Women's Troubles"
Sharon: You could be like its second mum.
Tracey: People'll think we're lesbians.
Sharon: We'll tell 'em we're sisters!
Tracey: An' whadda ya think lesbians say?
Tracey: People'll think we're lesbians.
Sharon: We'll tell 'em we're sisters!
Tracey: An' whadda ya think lesbians say?
Mels: Come on. Seriously. It's got to be you two. Oh, cut to the song, it's getting boring.
Amy: Nice thought, okay? But completely impossible.
Rory: Yeah. Impossible.
Amy: I'd love to. He's gorgeous. He's my favorite guy. But he's, you know—
Rory: —a friend.
Amy: —gay.
Rory: I'm not gay.
Amy: Yes, you are.
Rory: No. No, I'm not.
Amy: Of course you are, don't be stupid. In the whole time I've known you, when have you shown the slightest interest in a girl?
Mels: Penny in the air.
Amy: I mean, I've known you for what, ten years? I've seen you practically every day. Name one girl you've paid the slightest bit of attention to. [Rory's mouth opens, closes, opens... and he runs out of the room; realization plays over Amy's face]. ...Oh my God! Rory! [she runs after him].
Mels: And the penny drops.
Amy: Nice thought, okay? But completely impossible.
Rory: Yeah. Impossible.
Amy: I'd love to. He's gorgeous. He's my favorite guy. But he's, you know—
Rory: —a friend.
Amy: —gay.
Rory: I'm not gay.
Amy: Yes, you are.
Rory: No. No, I'm not.
Amy: Of course you are, don't be stupid. In the whole time I've known you, when have you shown the slightest interest in a girl?
Mels: Penny in the air.
Amy: I mean, I've known you for what, ten years? I've seen you practically every day. Name one girl you've paid the slightest bit of attention to. [Rory's mouth opens, closes, opens... and he runs out of the room; realization plays over Amy's face]. ...Oh my God! Rory! [she runs after him].
Mels: And the penny drops.
Val: Hope you don't mind my saying, Doctor, but you look ever so sweet. You and your partner and the baby.
The Doctor: "Partner". Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?
Val: Sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy, not in this day and age.
The Doctor: "Partner". Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?
Val: Sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy, not in this day and age.
— Doctor Who, "Closing Time"
First time I met Chandler I thought he was gay
But here I am singing on his wedding day
But here I am singing on his wedding day
— Phoebe's song, Friends
Store Manager: Can I help you gentlemen?
George: We're looking for a couple of suits. Now, I know what I want, but my friend here might need some help.
Manager: Are we shopping for a special occasion?
Ernie: Well, I might be in court. Yeah, I'll be standing up there for my rights, and my man here will be right beside me!
Manager: Oh, good for you! They'll take our taxes, but they won't let us walk down the aisle.
George: Uh, it's not like that, man. We're not gay.
Ernie: That's a weird to just blurt out like that, George.
George: We're looking for a couple of suits. Now, I know what I want, but my friend here might need some help.
Manager: Are we shopping for a special occasion?
Ernie: Well, I might be in court. Yeah, I'll be standing up there for my rights, and my man here will be right beside me!
Manager: Oh, good for you! They'll take our taxes, but they won't let us walk down the aisle.
George: Uh, it's not like that, man. We're not gay.
Ernie: That's a weird to just blurt out like that, George.
—The George Lopez Show, "George Helps Ernie See the Cellu-Light"
Liz: People ask me, "What's wrong with your brother-in-law? Is he gay?"
Arthur: And what do you say?
Liz: I say, "I honestly don't know." I say, "I don't think so, but it's hard to tell these days."
Arthur: Well, thanks!
Liz: Face facts, Arthur — a man your age, living with his mother, doesn't go out with women, does all the cooking — what else is one to think?
Arthur: Perhaps one could think that here is a man who, for a change, puts his mother's welfare ahead of trying to prove his own manhood by chasing after everything in a skirt that moves!
Liz: No, that's far too complicated. They'll just think you're gay.
Maggie: [walking in from the kitchen] Who's gay?
Arthur: I am, apparently!
Maggie: Oh, no, Arthur. You've been very down in the dumps lately. Not at all the gay little boy you used to be.
Arthur: And what do you say?
Liz: I say, "I honestly don't know." I say, "I don't think so, but it's hard to tell these days."
Arthur: Well, thanks!
Liz: Face facts, Arthur — a man your age, living with his mother, doesn't go out with women, does all the cooking — what else is one to think?
Arthur: Perhaps one could think that here is a man who, for a change, puts his mother's welfare ahead of trying to prove his own manhood by chasing after everything in a skirt that moves!
Liz: No, that's far too complicated. They'll just think you're gay.
Maggie: [walking in from the kitchen] Who's gay?
Arthur: I am, apparently!
Maggie: Oh, no, Arthur. You've been very down in the dumps lately. Not at all the gay little boy you used to be.
— Mother & Son, "The Boyfriend"
Creed: So hey, I wanna set you up with my daughter.
Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: ...Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don't know.
Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: ...Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don't know.
George: Look, we're not gay.
Jerry: Not that there's anything wrong with that!
George: No, no, of course not!
Jerry: Not that there's anything wrong with that!
George: No, no, of course not!
— Seinfeld
Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is: why do these people assume we're gay?
Sam: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.
Sam: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.
— Supernatural, "Playthings"
Ryan: Can I stay with you for a while? We could tell your landlord I'm gay.
Colin: Boy, that would be zany!
Colin: Boy, that would be zany!
Video Games
Boron: How've you been, Kyle?
Kyle: Fine, don't you go worrying about me. Something 'bout you has been on my mind a lot, though.
Boron: (flustered) I'm always on your mind? D-do you mean-?
Kyle: I dunno what you were about to say, but let's just assume no.
Kyle: Fine, don't you go worrying about me. Something 'bout you has been on my mind a lot, though.
Boron: (flustered) I'm always on your mind? D-do you mean-?
Kyle: I dunno what you were about to say, but let's just assume no.
Visual Novels
Takayuki: Who is this man in your brochure?
Natsui: You're interested in men?
Takayuki: Not like that! Tell me who this person is.
Natsui: You're interested in men?
Takayuki: Not like that! Tell me who this person is.
Web Animation
Link: You know what this group needs?
Tails: To find the Princess?
Link: Heh heh, I'm sure she's not in the closet! Lord knows you spend enough time hiding in there!
Everyone: Oooooooooohhh, snap!
Tails: What?! I'm not gay!
Link: Okay, okay, whatever you say, dollface.
Tails: To find the Princess?
Link: Heh heh, I'm sure she's not in the closet! Lord knows you spend enough time hiding in there!
Everyone: Oooooooooohhh, snap!
Tails: What?! I'm not gay!
Link: Okay, okay, whatever you say, dollface.
— Sonic for Hire, "Link"
" Webcomics
Kanji: What are you guys doing?
Yosuke: Watching you hanging out with a dude!
Chie: Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Yosuke: Yeah! I mean, if you like dudes...
Kanji: You sayin' I like dudes...?
[Beat]
Narrator: And then there was a wacky chase scene.
Yosuke and Chie: AAAAAAAAAAAA
Kanji: Nooooo come back I love girls!!
Yosuke: Watching you hanging out with a dude!
Chie: Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Yosuke: Yeah! I mean, if you like dudes...
Kanji: You sayin' I like dudes...?
[Beat]
Narrator: And then there was a wacky chase scene.
Yosuke and Chie: AAAAAAAAAAAA
Kanji: Nooooo come back I love girls!!
Web Original
Jay: "And, come to think of it, the head would look nice mounted on OUR wall."
Luxury: "Your wall, in the plural?" (laughs)
Jay: "What?"
Luxury: "You said 'your wall,' in the plural, implying you and Acacia..." (giggles again)
Acacia: "We're partners! We share a response centre! Mind out of the gutter!"
Luxury: "Ooooooh, partners... I getcha..." (winks at Jay)
Jay: "Oh, puhlease."
Web Videos
Henry King, possessed by Chris Kyle's ghost: Patriots! I need your body! Let me in you so I can finish!
Construction Worker: Hey, buddy! I don't swing that way! [laughter]
Construction Worker: Hey, buddy! I don't swing that way! [laughter]
— Monster Lab (2021), "Jesus Wept"
Western Animation
Mr. Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: [thinking] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Mr. Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours!
Homer: [thinking] Wait a minute, is he coming on to me?
Mr. Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: [thinking] Oh my god, he is coming on to me!
Mr. Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows! [chuckles and winks]
[Homer screams internally]
Homer: Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered; maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no!
Homer: [thinking] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Mr. Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours!
Homer: [thinking] Wait a minute, is he coming on to me?
Mr. Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: [thinking] Oh my god, he is coming on to me!
Mr. Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows! [chuckles and winks]
[Homer screams internally]
Homer: Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered; maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no!
Franklin: Yo, crudes! It's Hudson... with Hailey.
Fergy: Wow, and she's even more beautiful in person!
Paulie: Yeah! She looks exactly like Hudson!
[both Franklin and Fergy both awkwardly stare at Paulie]
Paulie: I mean, you know, as a girl!
[still staring at Paulie]
Paulie: WHAT!?
Fergy: Wow, and she's even more beautiful in person!
Paulie: Yeah! She looks exactly like Hudson!
[both Franklin and Fergy both awkwardly stare at Paulie]
Paulie: I mean, you know, as a girl!
[still staring at Paulie]
Paulie: WHAT!?
— Viva Piñata, "Tabloid for Two"
