Quotes / Karma Houdini

Film — Animated

He got away.

—Bob Parr after seeing the mugger get away, The Incredibles

Film — Live-Action

Your continued existence is a mockery of morality.

—Bartleby, Dogma

Why is it that one of us who wants to live the most, the ones who deserve to live the most dies, and the ones that deserve to die, keep on living? What's the message in that?

—Barney Ross, The Expendables 2

Lewis: That son of a bitch is getting away with it. We can't even touch him.
RoboCop: Patience, Lewis. We're only human.

—RoboCop 2

Yuri Orlov: Enjoy it.
Jack Valentine: ...What?
Yuri: This. Tell me I'm "everything you despise." That I'm "the personification of evil." That I'm — what? "Responsible for the breakdown of the fabric of society and world order." I'm "a one-man genocide." Say everything you want to say to me now. Because you don't have long.

—Lord of War

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone."

—The Usual Suspects

"I murdered my wife. I followed her to a man's house, I watched him put his fingers inside her, and I killed 'em both. And no-one came after me. Ten years ago. I never had to explain myself. I never had to lie to anyone, I never had to run and hide, I just buried them in a hole and went home. And no-one came after me... and that hurt me more than getting my heart broken. Knowing it didn't matter. Knowing you can do something like that and no-one comes after you. You do a thing like I did it should really mean something... but it just doesn't matter anymore."

—Eric to his captor, The Rover

"What?! The bad guy gets filthy rich? What the heck kind of story ends that way?!"

—Secondhand Lions

"In the years that followed, hundreds of bankers and rating-agency executives went to jail. The SEC was completely overhauled, and Congress had no choice but to break up the big banks and regulate the mortgage and derivative industries. Just kidding! Banks took the money the American people gave them, and used it to pay themselves huge bonuses, and lobby the Congress to kill big reform. And then they blamed immigrants and poor people, and this time even teachers! And when all was said and done, only one single banker went to jail, the poor schmuck!"

—Jared Vennett, The Big Short

"Texarkana today still looks pretty much the same. And if you should ask people on the street what they believe happened to the Phantom Killer, most would say that he is still living here... and is walking free."

—Narrator, The Town That Dreaded Sundown

"Two months ago he took her for a drive, with another boy friend. They made her drink whiskey and then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her honor. So they beat her. Like an animal. When I went to the hospital her nose was broken. Her jaw was shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life. A beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again. [...] I went to the police, like a good American. These two boys were brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison, and suspended the sentence. Suspended sentence! They went free that very day! I stood in the courtroom like a fool, and those two bastards, they smiled at me."

—Bonasera, The Godfather

"No, goddammit, NO! Now you listen to me; that man killed my wife and kids! He might as well have blown them away with a shotgun, and you fine him 300 bucks? He oughta be strung up by his balls!"

—Big Joe Rosso, Rolling Vengeance

"There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing."

—Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

Literature

There was only one guy in the whole Bible Jesus ever personally promised a place with him in Paradise. Not Peter, not Paul, not any of those guys. He was a convicted thief, being executed. So don't knock the guys on death row. Maybe they know something you don't.

—American Gods

Do therefore according to thy wisdom, and do not let his hoary head go down to Sheol in peace.

—David on Joab, The Bible Kings 2:6

The abject moral misery of Thénardier, the broken-down bourgeois, was irremediable; in America he was the same thing he had been in Europe. The touch of a wicked man is often enough to corrupt a good deed and to make an evil result spring from it. With Marius's money, Thénardier became a slave trader.

—Les Misérables

You offend the community, the community retaliates, and the balance is maintained. If the community acts against you and it’s unjust, then there is imbalance, and this weighs heavier than matters between individuals. Clever individuals with some knowledge on how to use and manipulate karma could theoretically survive and ride the backlash to a position at the top.

—Ms. Lewis explains how this is managed in a universe with actual functioning Karma, Pact

Molyneux's other eye is disassociating his reputation from that now-notorious murderer known as "The Arsenic Goose." The devil has not yet been apprehended by the Port Constabulary nor, I suspect, shall that day ever come. In Honolulu's lawless hive, where vessels of all flags & nations arrive & depart daily, a man may change his name & history between entree & dessert.

—Adam Ewing, Cloud Atlas

The more he studied Gretel's psychological profile, the more certain he became that she hadn't perished in the bombing. He absorbed everything they'd written about her, scrutinized it, read between the lines: Gretel excelled at twisting everything that happened to her own personal benefit. If the Red Army had occupied the REGP, he could be confident that she'd found a way to take advantage of that.

The miserable bitch had gotten away with it. She'd killed his daughter and then she got away with it.

—Bitter Seeds

They're not coming to arrest me. Not good old Aarfy.

—Aarfy, Catch-22

Towering over them all is the judge and he is naked dancing, his small feet lively and quick and now in doubletime and bowing to the ladies, huge and pale and hairless, like an enormous infant. He never sleeps, he says. He says he'll never die. He bows to the fiddlers and sashays backwards and throws back his head and laughs deep in his throat and he is a great favorite, the judge. He wafts his hat and the lunar dome of his skull passes palely under the lamps and he swings about and takes possession of one of the fiddles and he pirouettes and makes a pass, two passes, dancing and fiddling all at once. His feet are light and nimble. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, the judge. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.

—The last paragraph of Blood Meridian

Live-Action TV

One day I'll have money. Prestige. Power. [beat] And on that day they'll still have more.

—Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ("Reptile Boy")

I just wish you'd killed that old bastard.

—Inara regarding Adelai Niska, "War Stories", Firefly

I just want something bad to happen to you. Not like really bad, just...something to ruin your weekend.

—Cat Valentine to Tori, Victorious "The Blonde Squad"

How the fuck are you still alive?

—Eli Thompson to Mickey Doyle, Boardwalk Empire

You're really good at doing awful things, and then just getting away.

—Mobius, Loki

So the Smiths lived happily ever after. And the Smith brothers were once again rewarded for bad behavior. There were no lasting consequences, whatsoever. The end.

—The Narrator, Studio C

Why didn't God help my innocent friend who died for no reason while the guilty roam free?

—Elliot Alderson, Mr. Robot

Dee: You assholes! You'll all pay!
Charlie: No, we won't pay.
Mac: (chuckles) We never do!

— It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, "The Maureen-Ponderosa Wedding"

Music

I heard her say, she struck a deal
Her faith will bring in money bags
I'm heading for the mercy seat
My goodness looks like dirty rags

—Steve Taylor, "You Don't Owe Me Nothing"

That Mr McArthur's looked all over town
But he won't find me now, for I'm off coastward bound
And I'm trading the smog for some fresh salt-sea air
And he'll never catch on that I'm there

—Clockwork Quartet, "The Watchmaker's Apprentice"

Newspaper Comics

Director of Green: We've been dumping into the water supply for years. Yesterday, a giant mutated alligator destroyed our competitor's only factory.
CEO: Now that Karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?
Director: The sky's the limit.

—Dilbert

Tabletop Games

I take my leave of thee at last. The candle's flame is at an end, and my parchment is fair exhausted. From the crucible of ruin, I forsake my tears. As I said, I have no apologies to give. Come morning, you will find me gone. No stake for me, I assure you! As dark descends, I hear the soft flutter of approaching wings.
Do you hear them, too? You shall.
My flesh is not for burning yet.

—Mage: The Sorcerer's Crusade - Infernalism

Theatre

Everywhere you go
Law abidin' folk
Doing what is decent but they're mostly broke
Singing to the Lord on Sundays, praying for the gifts he sends
But we're the ones who take it, we're the ones who make it in the end!

—The Thernadiers, Les Misérables

Video Games

Frustrating, isn't it? Best not to think too hard about me, or you'll end up giving yourself apoplexy.

—Jarlaxle in a cameo, Baldur's Gate II

Yosuke: Damn it, he killed Sempai, and now Nanako-chan... And the bastard's gonna walk away without paying for what he did!
Yukiko: That's not right...!
Naoto: ...
Rise: Why...? What is he the one that gets to go on living?

—Part of the party of Persona 4, talking about Namatame.

Ryuji: I can't stand it... This world is so messed up! The weak're left to fight for themselves, while rotten adults get away with whatever they want!

Morgana: And those in power don't do anything to help the situation.

—Persona 5

"What's the party for? Grunty got away, so get back up there and finish the job!"

—Tooty preventing Grunty from becoming a Karma Houdini, Banjo-Kazooie

"Renira has been found not guilty three times in three separate jurisdictions. She will likely never be found guilty of anything."

—Cultist Simulator

Webcomics

Tagon: That man could turn his own death into a tactical advantage.
Kevyn: I've done that before. It hurts, but it's not actually all that difficult.

—Schlock Mercenary, on Xinchub going from slave to king in the space of a year

Web Original

Fantastic news. The Raiders gave Richie Incognito a contract extension! Incredible. Here’s a man who drove his teammate to near suicide with racist bullying, then retired because he said his organs were failing, and then threatened to murder the staff of a funeral parlor. And look where he is now! WHAT A STORY. It’s the most heartwarming comeback since the return of Nazism!

—Drew Magary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2020: Las Vegas Raiders"

'The more of an asshole Mark is, the more money he makes, and the more authority he's given by the head office,' said Manning, who left Aqua-Dek in April to 'do literally anything that will get me away from that son of a bitch.' 'In Mark, you see a classic example of the cycle of escalating assholedom. Instead of hiding his assholishness and putting on a good show, he brags about it as if it's a virtue, because it benefits his career. But I don't believe for a minute that he's only an asshole for career advancement. For Mark, being an asshole is its own reward.'

—The Onion, "Asshole Admits To Being Asshole In Supreme Asshole Move"

I didn't realize that forcing your teammate to steal still kept you in the game, but pointing out the crime though? What a disgrace.

—Soap, Inanimate Insanity

Content warning: No justice.

— Comment made by Fae Rei on this Not Always Legal story.

"Throughout his entire run, Scourge gets to go wherever he wants, do what he wants, with or to whomever he wants, and he never has to deal with the fallout of the decisions he makes. Absorbs the energy of a matter world into his antimatter body? He's better than fine, it only made him stronger. Turns up in Knothole with his secret girlfriend's hated arch rival by his side? Never mentioned again. Blows Fiona's connection to him, costing Finitevus' operation a potential spy in Knothole, where Knuckles is? Not even considered a factor. Ditches Finitevus to go and make Moebius into an Egopolis? Finitevus isn't bothered, and supports Fiona's efforts to rescue him later down the line after that plan backfired on him. Blinds Patch in one eye out of jealousy/spite? The guy that poisoned Armand and Max, took a torch to Antoine's personal life, took advantage of Sally's frayed mental state, emotionally damaged Bunnie, and tried to assassinate Elias to get what he wanted lets him get away with it. Openly announces that he's going to destroy both worlds? Conveniently does it when he's alone with Sonic so nobody can tell Fiona what she's letting herself in for. He eventually does get sent to jail, but he breaks out with ease the next time he turns up. Because, y'know, that's just what we want to see. Villains never having to deal with karma."

— DeviantART user Toa Arcan, "Scourge the Hedgehog: The Bad Fanfic Apotheosis"

Web Video

It's pretty messed up that a guy who did what Chris Brown did can release a song called "(These Hoes Ain't) Loyal" and have it be a hit.

—Todd in the Shadows, "Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2014"

That everlasting thrill
During the final kill
Body dumped in a landfill
Got off scot free!

—FilmCow's "Ferrets"

Harry got away with the watermelon scot-free! You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me! He got away this whole time! You bastards! You've been hoodwinked!

—JonTron, "Workplace Safety Videos"

Producer: Are there any consequences for Warner Bros. for creating an algorithm that almost trapped thousands of people inside a server?
Screenwriter: Nope.
Producer: That's what I like to hear.

—Screen Rant Pitch Meetings on Space Jam: A New Legacy

All this time, you might be thinking "Where's the king?" Remember him? Remember Goethe? Oh. He's sick in bed, dying from illness. Yes. The one person that Adonis absolutely despises, the one person who killed his master, is on his way out. He's laying there, next to his hot wife, reminiscing about how he saved humanity. He literally says he will not repent for what he did to the witches. Surely... if the whole point of this anime is revenge, we're not just going to let him die knowing he did the right thing? Surely? (The video cuts to Goethe dead in bed and Adonis raging)

—I Swear A 13-Year-Old Wrote This Terrible Anime

Western Animation

I'm nine years old, and I have a hemorrhoid, Stan. I have a hemorrhoid, and Cartman has his own theme park.

—Kyle, South Park, "Cartmanland"

Daphne: "You won't get away with this!"
Simone: "I've been getting away with it for 200 years!"

—Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island

I was well rewarded for my cowardice and greed.

—Duke Phillips, The Critic

Aw, Quagmire got away with it and learned nothing. [Happily] That's great.

—Peter, Family Guy

Diane: "And you're not worried it's going to get out that you killed an employee? Like, in the video we're shooting right now?"
Mr. Whitewhale: "Didn't you hear? Congress just passed a bill legalizing murder if you're rich!"
Diane (pulling out phone): "No they didn't- Oh my god, they did."

—Bojack Horseman

Zuko: What do you remember about our great-grandfather's history?
Azula: Oh, Zuko, it's so strange how your mind works. Fire Lord Sozin began the war, of course. He spent his early years secretly preparing for it. He was as patient as he was clever. He famously waited for the comet, later renamed Sozin's Comet, and used its power to launch his full-scale invasion of the world. In the end, he died a very old and successful man.
Zuko: But how did he die?
Azula: Didn't you pay any attention in school, Zuko? He died peacefully, in his sleep. He was ancient.

— Avatar: The Last Airbender, "The Avatar and the Fire Lord"

Real Life

Clever tyrants are never punished.

—Voltaire, Meropa

In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying.

—Bertrand Russell

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