"My word, you were a handsome chap, Scrooge. What went wrong?"
— The Ghost of Christmas Past on a young Ebenezer Scrooge, Scrooge: A Christmas Carol
Cubby: (chipperly) Peter, is that really you? (becomes grossed out by Pete's new appearance) You got old.
Sweet Pete: (sullenly) Yeah, death is coming for us all, kid.
Sweet Pete: (sullenly) Yeah, death is coming for us all, kid.
I used to be pretty. Yeah, but not no more. Look at my nose!
— Swifty, The Venture Brothers
Despite popular belief, Christopher Walken did not come out of his mother’s womb as an old man who takes no shit from shit. No, once upon a Three Wolf Moon, Christopher was a young, powdery, hot piece of ass who made the young ladies drop their lace handkerchiefs and reach for the smelling salts. And this picture is proof! I seriously want to print this out in sepia, put in a locket around my neck and run through the wheat fields with a parasol in hand.
— Michael K.
, "Vintage Christopher Walken"
, "Vintage Christopher Walken""I haven't broken this many hearts since I had all my hair."
— Greg Universe, Steven Universe, "The Zoo"
I haven’t seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens because I’m too busy working my way through my annual Catwalk marathon. But apparently one of the things fans are getting their banthas in a twist about is that (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Princess Leia no longer looks like the Princess Leia from 32 years ago. Maybe Princess Leia’s face looks different because Luke keeps using the last of her La Mer and replacing it with some cheap shit from the Galactic Empire’s version of CVS. Or maybe it’s because Carrie Fisher is 59-years-old and we should all lay the fuck off.... Really though, what were they expecting? A 30-years-old Princess Leia to show up with her face pulled tighter than BB-8’s ball?
—DListed, "Carrie Fisher Would Like You To Shut Up About How She Looks In The New Star Wars"'
, "Carrie Fisher Would Like You To Shut Up About How She Looks In The New Star Wars"'bubblelumps: was voldemort a virgin
frankienathanieljonas: #did you see him in 5th year? #he wasnt a virgin
letmusicsetyoufree: Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy.
capslockapocalypse: TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN'T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX
itseasytoremember: doing the do with you know who
— Tumblr on Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter
"Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdie, but I used to be quite a looker... A star..."
— Nigel, right before his Villain Song in Rio
Who's this Spaghetti Western star? It's Joe Stalin in his twenties (we shit you not)
Riley: [gestures to a photo] Is that you?
Old Man of Hoy: Handsome bugger, eh? Where'd it all go?
Old Man of Hoy: Handsome bugger, eh? Where'd it all go?
— Sense8
Homer: Dad, I need your help.
Abe: Oh, why'd you come to me? I don't know anything. I used to get by on my looks, but now they're gone! Withered away like an old piece of fruit!
Homer: Are you done?
Abe: Not yet. I was once voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York!
Abe: Oh, why'd you come to me? I don't know anything. I used to get by on my looks, but now they're gone! Withered away like an old piece of fruit!
Homer: Are you done?
Abe: Not yet. I was once voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York!
"Name's Polly. Used to be Pretty Polly. Now, just Polly..."
— Polly, Fable
Leslie Jordan: I just called 1980 and told it I wanted my six-pack back — except in those days I was drinking and I’m afraid they’ll think I want beer.
Octavia Spencer: If they call u back text me. There are things I want, too.
— Leslie Jordan and Octavia Spencer after the former shared a photo on Instagram from his younger days.
.Takayuki: Have you ever had a penpal?
Marukoshi Auntie: No, I was never much for writing letters. I got a few love letters in my day though.
Takayuki: LOVE LETTERS?!
Marukoshi Auntie: How rude! No need to be THAT surprised. Believe it or not, I was quite the beauty back then.
Takayuki: (I guess she does have traces of former beauty, if you look close enough.)
Marukoshi Auntie: No, I was never much for writing letters. I got a few love letters in my day though.
Takayuki: LOVE LETTERS?!
Marukoshi Auntie: How rude! No need to be THAT surprised. Believe it or not, I was quite the beauty back then.
Takayuki: (I guess she does have traces of former beauty, if you look close enough.)
"I was good. I was very, very good."
— Olenna Tyrell, on her past beauty and sexual prowess, in Game of Thrones.
Jimmy: Granny! You’re a babe!
Granny: (unknowingly having been turned into a baby) You shoulda seen me at 16. When I walked down a beach, lifeguards swallowed their whistles.
— The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius, "Granny Baby" original transcript
