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Literature
I made him a flushed, disheveled, bedeviled scallawag, with his helmet at the back of his head, and the living fear of death in his eye, and the blood oozing out of a cut over his ankle-bone. He wasn't pretty, but he was all soldier and very much man. […]
I did him just as well as I knew how, making allowance for the slickness of oils. Then the art-manager of that abandoned paper said that his subscribers wouldn’t like it. It was brutal and coarse and violent — man being naturally gentle when he’s fighting for his life.
They wanted something more restful, with a little more colour. I could have said a good deal, but you might as well talk to a sheep as an art-manager.
I took my "Last Shot" back. Behold the result! I put him into a lovely red coat without a speck on it. That is Art. I polished his boots — observe the highlight on the toe. That is Art. I cleaned his rifle — rifles are always clean on service — because that is Art.
I did him just as well as I knew how, making allowance for the slickness of oils. Then the art-manager of that abandoned paper said that his subscribers wouldn’t like it. It was brutal and coarse and violent — man being naturally gentle when he’s fighting for his life.
They wanted something more restful, with a little more colour. I could have said a good deal, but you might as well talk to a sheep as an art-manager.
I took my "Last Shot" back. Behold the result! I put him into a lovely red coat without a speck on it. That is Art. I polished his boots — observe the highlight on the toe. That is Art. I cleaned his rifle — rifles are always clean on service — because that is Art.
— Dick, The Light That Failed by Rudyard Kipling.
This tendency among executives is best exemplified by the cliché, "This script is perfect. Who can we get to rewrite it?"
— David Hughes, Tales from Development Hell
Live-Action TV
Crow: Okay, The Final Sacrifice: The Series—
Mike: The name goes.
Crow: What?
Mike: Never liked the name. The name goes. It's banal.
Crow: But if you’re hoping to connect the series with the movie, Mike—
Mike: I need something like, oh, Night Mistress.
Crow: Night Mistress.
Mike: Yeah, or Cloochie and the Lieutenant, something that’s gonna seduce people, really connect with 'em. We’ll work on that.
Mike: The name goes.
Crow: What?
Mike: Never liked the name. The name goes. It's banal.
Crow: But if you’re hoping to connect the series with the movie, Mike—
Mike: I need something like, oh, Night Mistress.
Crow: Night Mistress.
Mike: Yeah, or Cloochie and the Lieutenant, something that’s gonna seduce people, really connect with 'em. We’ll work on that.
— Mystery Science Theater 3000, engaging in some frightfully accurate roleplay during the credits of The Final Sacrifice
"It's called "Show Business," not "Show Art."
— Maggie O'Connell, Northern Exposure
"Nothing can ruin a good idea like a roomful of men."
— Denise, Trust Me
Music
One likes to believe in the freedom of music
But glittering prizes and endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity
But glittering prizes and endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity
—Rush, "The Spirit of Radio"
I am the entertainer
And I've come to do my show
You heard my latest record
It's been on the radio
It took me years to write it
They were the best years of my life
It was a beautiful song, but it ran too long
If you're gonna have a hit, you gotta make it fit
So they cut it down to 3:05
And I've come to do my show
You heard my latest record
It's been on the radio
It took me years to write it
They were the best years of my life
It was a beautiful song, but it ran too long
If you're gonna have a hit, you gotta make it fit
So they cut it down to 3:05
— Billy Joel, "The Entertainer"
They said release "Remote Control"
But we didn't want it on the label
They said, "Fly to Amsterdam"
The people laughed but the press went mad
But we didn't want it on the label
They said, "Fly to Amsterdam"
The people laughed but the press went mad
— The Clash, "Complete Control"note
To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful, I demand: Take me as I am
Not under your command; I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan; take me as I am
To the doubtful, I demand: Take me as I am
Not under your command; I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan; take me as I am
— Dream Theater, refrain to "As I Am"
Theatre
"And my managers must learn that their place is in an office. Not the arts."
— Erik, The Phantom of the Opera
Web Comics
Pip: You deal with those types more than me; how is someone so dense granted decision making privileges at all?
Art: I think they give you an IQ test. If they see you cheating to pass it: You're management material.
Art: I think they give you an IQ test. If they see you cheating to pass it: You're management material.
Web Original
"The thing is, 9 times out of 10, the writer has to listen to the producer. Maybe you signed on to write the Wild Wild West reboot because your late father loved Westerns and you wanted to honor his memory, or because you have a deep and intense personal connection with the source material and you know that you're the only person alive who can do it justice. You've been thinking about this movie your entire life, and it is the only story you will ever want to tell. Doesn't matter. You still have to put in a giant metal spider, because that's what the guy with the checkbook told you to do."
"At the time, Sega of America ignored the opinions of the development staff. They did not listen to our requests for the number of fingers on Sonic in the package art, or our request to fix his legs to be straight."
— Yasushi "Judy Totoya" Yamaguchi
, chief artist for Sonic the Hedgehog 2
, chief artist for Sonic the Hedgehog 2"Ken and I wrote a million drafts for each game. Each draft got a ton of character and story notes from Sega/Sonic Team. Every word we wrote, every character trait, and every story point was given to us by them or based on the Sonic Game Bible. We had very little say. Don't get me wrong. I loved my time with Sega, everyone was amazing. We just didn't have a lot of creative freedom, which is understandable. It's their most important IP. They are rightfully protective of it. I would be too."
— Warren Graff, former English writer for the Sonic the Hedgehog series
, former English writer for the Sonic the Hedgehog series Web Video
"Now, in fairness, this storyline was an editorial mandate. In fact, most of these turns to evil were editorial mandates, further proving that editors aren't writers, so they should stop pretending they are!"
"The sequel to Blood was teased as early as the trailer for the original game, which promised a second one in time for Halloween of 1998. As is typical in publisher-developer relations, this was almost entirely at odds with what Monolith themselves were interested in."
—LP Blood II: The Chosen - C2L7 CabalCo Transit System III
Western Animation
All we ever want is indecision
All we really like is what we know
Gotta balance style with adherence
Making sure we make a good appearance
Even if you simply have to fudge it
Make sure that it stays within our budget
All we really like is what we know
Gotta balance style with adherence
Making sure we make a good appearance
Even if you simply have to fudge it
Make sure that it stays within our budget
— The Stressed Reprise of "Stitching it Together (Art of the Dress)", My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Guano: But you said you'd never tamper with my creative vision.
Ozu: I didn't tamper. I lit it on fire and danced on the ashes!
Ozu: I didn't tamper. I lit it on fire and danced on the ashes!
Chocolate grain
If you have diabetes, stay away
Chocolate grain
It's something that our lawyers made us say
If you have diabetes, stay away
Chocolate grain
It's something that our lawyers made us say
— "Chocolate Grain", Robot Chicken
Milhouse: Mr. Moore, will you sign my DVD copy of Watchmen Babies? Which of your babies is your favorite?
Alan Moore: You see what the bloody corporations do?! They take your ideas and suck them! Suck them like leeches until they've got every last drop of the marrow from your bones!
Alan Moore: You see what the bloody corporations do?! They take your ideas and suck them! Suck them like leeches until they've got every last drop of the marrow from your bones!
Boorswan: What did you do to my psychological masterpiece?!
Dewey: I added chainsaw jugglers. You're welcome.
Dewey: I added chainsaw jugglers. You're welcome.
Real Life
"There is no idea so good it can't be ruined by a few well-placed idiots."
"We'd just gone to all the effort of saying, 'Jean is dead, get over it,' and they said, 'Haha, we fibbed.' So why should anyone trust us again? But that's the difference between being the writer and being the boss."
"I would like to relay an editorial comment that I received near the end of my time writing the Dark Knight New 52 series. In one scene, I had written that Batman is sitting on a rooftop during an intense conversation, close to a person who has been injured. The editorial comment: 'We're not sure you are 'getting' the character because it's common knowledge that Batman never sits down.'"
—Paul Jenkins
"With making a film, it's like trying to create a tune in the shower, while you have a hundred people singing around you."
—Alfonso Cuarón on making Gravity
[After being asked a particularly stupid question by an executive about one of his scripts]
This, by the way, is why screenwriting pays so well. They don't pay me to write. I'd write for free. They pay me NOT to punch people in the neck.
I thought it was great, this three-minute opening scene, and they said you can't do it because if it goes on and something doesn't happen in the first 30 seconds, we know the data shows that people will just turn off [...] I don't want that, so I make the compromise.
—Dexter Fletcher on the making of Ghosted (2023)
What you have to remember is that in the movies there are two types of people: 1) the directors, artists, actors and so on who have to do things and are often quite human and 2) the other lifeforms. Unfortunately you have to deal with the other lifeforms first. It is impossible to exaggerate their baleful stupidity.
A gaggle of new producers micromanaged every aspect of the show, certain they knew what worked on the network better than the original cast and creative team.
"I would like to hear more of the consummate melodic master, but I feel that big business and his record company have had a corrupting influence on his material. The rock and pop thing certainly draws a wider audience. It happens more and more these days, that unqualified people with executive positions try to tell musicians what is good and what is bad music."
— Bill Evans on Miles Davis
"I'm sick to death of being fucked about by men in suits sitting on their fat arses in the City!"
— John Lennon, expressing his frustration over The Beatles not legally owning their own songs (long story …)
)"The producer, Konnie Kwak, and the company, ToonZone (Animation Development Inc) that produced the show, made and changed the show without my knowledge, aired it overseas (it never aired in the US) never told me about it and never paid me the money I was contractually owed for each episode that had my name on it. I found out five years later what they did, and everyone involved has either changed their number or will not contact me. There, I rather move on and leave it alone please"
— Andrew Dickman on Action Dad
on Action DadUnfortunately, this manuscript was the object of some, uh, less-than-skillful line editing (hey, maybe it was done by an alien!) by a television exec who thought (emphasize that word, please) she was a writer. Despite my railings, it was published with a bunch of mistakes and clunky rearrangements that were completely unnecessary. Things smoothed out midway through the manuscript when the exec-turned-wannabe-writer ran into that famous publishing wall called a "deadline", but you might be jarred a time or two by a typo, a wayword word, or-- and my sincerest apologies-- a truly awkward sentence. I swear to everyone that, like the poor astronauts on the Excursion, I was just the victim here!
— Yvonne Navarro on her Species II novelization
on her Species II novelizationEvery which way you look at it, a planet of 10 billion looks like a nightmare. What, then, are our options?
The only solution left to us is to change our behaviour, radically and globally, on every level. In short, we urgently need to consume less. A lot less. Radically less. And we need to conserve more. A lot more. To accomplish such a radical change in behaviour would also need radical government action. But as far as this kind of change is concerned, politicians are currently part of the problem, not part of the solution, because the decisions that need to be taken to implement significant behaviour change inevitably make politicians very unpopular – as they are all too aware.
So what politicians have opted for instead is failed diplomacy. For example: The UN Framework Convention on Climate Change, whose job it has been for 20 years to ensure the stabilisation of greenhouse gases in the Earth's atmosphere: Failed. The UN Convention to Combat Desertification, whose job it's been for 20 years to stop land degrading and becoming desert: Failed. The Convention on Biological Diversity, whose job it's been for 20 years to reduce the rate of biodiversity loss: Failed. Those are only three examples of failed global initiatives. The list is a depressingly long one. And the way governments justify this level of inaction is by exploiting public opinion and scientific uncertainty. It used to be a case of, "We need to wait for science to prove climate change is happening". This is now beyond doubt. So now it's, "We need to wait for scientists to be able to tell us what the impact will be and the costs". And, "We need to wait for public opinion to get behind action". But climate models will never be free from uncertainties. And as for public opinion, politicians feel remarkably free to ignore it when it suits them – wars, bankers' bonuses, and healthcare reforms, to give just three examples.
What politicians and governments say about their commitment to tackling climate change is completely different from what they are doing about it.
The only solution left to us is to change our behaviour, radically and globally, on every level. In short, we urgently need to consume less. A lot less. Radically less. And we need to conserve more. A lot more. To accomplish such a radical change in behaviour would also need radical government action. But as far as this kind of change is concerned, politicians are currently part of the problem, not part of the solution, because the decisions that need to be taken to implement significant behaviour change inevitably make politicians very unpopular – as they are all too aware.
So what politicians have opted for instead is failed diplomacy. For example: The UN Framework Convention on Climate Change, whose job it has been for 20 years to ensure the stabilisation of greenhouse gases in the Earth's atmosphere: Failed. The UN Convention to Combat Desertification, whose job it's been for 20 years to stop land degrading and becoming desert: Failed. The Convention on Biological Diversity, whose job it's been for 20 years to reduce the rate of biodiversity loss: Failed. Those are only three examples of failed global initiatives. The list is a depressingly long one. And the way governments justify this level of inaction is by exploiting public opinion and scientific uncertainty. It used to be a case of, "We need to wait for science to prove climate change is happening". This is now beyond doubt. So now it's, "We need to wait for scientists to be able to tell us what the impact will be and the costs". And, "We need to wait for public opinion to get behind action". But climate models will never be free from uncertainties. And as for public opinion, politicians feel remarkably free to ignore it when it suits them – wars, bankers' bonuses, and healthcare reforms, to give just three examples.
What politicians and governments say about their commitment to tackling climate change is completely different from what they are doing about it.
—Stephen Emmott, 10 Billion (2013)
"This gets us to our final point. So now they're saying this new algorithm, this new… kind of machine learning model called AI, that's going to transform every aspect of American life and the American economy. It's already being consolidated. Apple has bought 30 AI models, Microsoft has probably bought— Google has bought… they all buy AI startups and put them behind their paywall, and they're already having an arms race. To see who will be either the monopoly or this will be an oligopoly; I've got to tell you, I wanted to have you on a podcast. And Apple asked us not to do it, to have you. They literally said, "Please don't talk to her". Having nothing to do with what you do for a living, I think they just… I didn't think they cared for you, is what happened. They wouldn't let us do even that dumb thing we just did in the first act on AI. What is that sensitivity? Why are they so afraid to even have these conversations out in the public sphere?"
— Jon Stewart in an interview with FTC Chair Lina Khan (regarding The Problem with Jon Stewart), The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
