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Quotes / Cloudcuckoolander's Minder

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He had ... a staff of nurses and other female acolytes who were all permanently aflutter over his brillantness and followed him around steering him away from large obstacles and reminding him to eat lunch.

Mary Stuart: [On Gladstone] We've got him housebroken again, dressing again, writing and lecturing again, mostly comprehensibly.
Catherine Stuart: Of course he's not permitted to leave. It is a shame. He's like a caged bird in here. A shabby, flightless thing with a hairy beak that stinks of sherry.
Mary Stuart: A bird who licks cane toads and must be gently, but firmly, reminded to wear pants.

Zay: Wow, yours is really something.
Maya: She a lotta work.
Zay: What happens to her when you're home sick?
Maya: Oh, I can never get sick.
—"Girl Meets the Secret of Life", Girl Meets World

Obyron served as Zahndrekh's vargard in their very first campaign - an undignified but hugely successful series of skirmishes in the swamps of Yarma - and has stood steadfast by his side ever since, both on the battlefield and off it. Unlike his master, Obyron is very much aware of the changes wrought upon their existence, but has long since abandoned any attempt to awaken Zhandrekh to reality - whatever the fault in his master's mind, the damage lies too deep. So, like any dedicated servant, Obyron attends to all the loose ends created by Zahndrekh's eccentricities, chief of which are seeing to it that 'honoured' prisoners of war are 'killed whilst trying to escape,' and that upstart Lords of the Royal Court are either silenced or disposed of.
Warhammer 40,000: Codex - Necrons (5th ed)

Roko: Here's a tip: tell her she has to knock first. Then next time she forgets which door is hers, she'll remember she has to knock on your door, which will get her to register that it's not her door she's currently trying to open.
Elliot: I... wow. Her brain really works like that?
Roko: Melon and logic are like oil and vinegar. You can get them to mix, but it takes vigorous shaking.

The Detective: Something *weird* just happened to me.
Kim: Don't take this the wrong way, but — during our short stint working together — *something weird* is almost always happening to you.

"I've tried everything I can with this big, dumb animal, and it's just, it's frustrating, it's tiring."
Trev McGrath regarding Raj Brandston, Hell's Kitchen

"Nagisa, this is the third time you’ve done this, can you please just talk to these girls like a normal person? (to Komachi) I’m so sorry about her."

Riku (Sora): yay mushroom
Marshmallow (Mashiro): good god riku are you trying to unalive yourself. these mushrooms are poison

Swagmaster: WOOO, VACATION BITCHES! Time to partaaay and get piss drunk!!!
Chris: Jesus H Christ... my first vacation in years and it has to be with this asshole...
Swagmaster: U fuckin wot? Don't lie to yourself Chris. You love me, don't you. Don't you Chris. You're gay for me Chris.
Chris: NO! I'm here because you're a mentally challenged shithead and by law you need a guardian so you don't blow up anything.
Guards N' Retards: "The Vacation"

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