open/close all folders
Reviews
Each time you harvest a crop of penis, you become the dick-farmer.
—SsethTzeentach, in his review for Amazing Cultivation Simulator
You cannot consent to being a pizza.
—SsethTzeentach, in his review for Space Station 13
We cut to Felicia the cat-woman... running into Lord Raptor, an undead Cockney rock star. [checks computer] And yes, I've just confirmed that that sentence has never been uttered in the history of language.
—Bennett the Sage, on Night Warriors: Darkstalkers' Revenge
Noting that Dove has magical bug-zapping powers, they decide to make her quite the unique tool. Wrapping her in a green energy bullet, they load her into the yellow sniper rifle of a giant cockroach, through squares of all the other light, and into the forehead of the undead ruler of an alternate universe that has been destroyed and reborn itself. That was the single best sentence I've ever typed in my life. I LOVE COMICS.
— Troy Brownfield discussing
Blackest Night
Blackest NightDipsauce: Wait a minute, is his mom a Viagra pill?
Wes + Tony: I would just like to point out that this comment was originally held by our spam filter. This is probably one of the few pages on the internet where that question is completely relevant.
Wes + Tony: I would just like to point out that this comment was originally held by our spam filter. This is probably one of the few pages on the internet where that question is completely relevant.
— Comments regarding this comic, Amazing Super Powers
, Amazing Super Powers"You slap the rhino."
I'm so glad we have this game, otherwise this would never have been said in our normal lives.
I'm so glad we have this game, otherwise this would never have been said in our normal lives.
Jeremy Clarkson: Guys, problem! I just shoved my anarchy flag through my water lilo!
Richard Hammond: Nobody's ever said that before.
Richard Hammond: Nobody's ever said that before.
—Top Gear, Car for a 17-Year Old Challenge
I never thought I'd say this, but the climax of the movie involves Sherlock Holmes in a hot air balloon fighting Iron Man in a giant robot dragon while Watson rides on horseback to stop an android from blowing up Buckingham Palace! I can't even make a joke about that!
—The Cinema Snob, on The Asylum's Sherlock Holmes
Mallory, I marvel at your ability to craft sentences that have probably never, ever been uttered before in the history of humanity, but which are so perfect that once I read them I feel like they've existed ever since the universe began, waiting to be discovered.
— Commenter Saichania, in response to the sentence "I just already have so many watercolors of flayings already."
."'I love trying to construct the most implausibly absurd sentences that are nevertheless 100% accurate descriptions of soap opera plots.
I'm a big fan of the line "there I am!" There are very few contexts in which it can be appropriately said that aren't interesting.
—Dan Shive, El Goonish Shive, the rant on this page.
page.Let's see what this game's got to say for itself. "As a submarine, you're used to trusting whales." What? I...I did not realize that was a thing. "You had a lot of deals with them and, in general, they seemed very polite and friendly to you. But one day, when you were already rich, you woke up and understood, that whales have stolen all your food!" What...the...fuck?!
—Jim Sterling reading the Steam Greenlight description for Don't Trust Whales!
the Steam Greenlight description for Don't Trust Whales!Rich: As Theodore Rex explained, all dinosaurs are mildly psychic when it comes to other dinosaurs.
Josh: I'm really glad you went back to pick up that plot detail, because the movie wouldn't make a lick of sense without it.
Jack: Also, I don't want to brush over what Rich Evans has just said... (everyone guffaws) These are not just dinosaurs living in the future; they are psychic, talking dinosaurs.
Josh: I'm really glad you went back to pick up that plot detail, because the movie wouldn't make a lick of sense without it.
Jack: Also, I don't want to brush over what Rich Evans has just said... (everyone guffaws) These are not just dinosaurs living in the future; they are psychic, talking dinosaurs.
If you see something sparkling in the ground, you know, just slam your arse into it and maybe a moon will pop out. I'm mean, that's a sentence.
—Jim Sterling again, discussing Super Mario Odyssey
...and then I'd say playing as Hitler is probably the most fun. I'm just gonna stop there and say you'll never hear someone ever say "playing as Hitler is probably the most fun" ever again for the rest of your life. Let that sink in.
You have to throw darts at the right colors to open the giant microwave. This episode has so many quotes you can take out of context, it must be stacking up by now.
— Ross, Ross's Game Dungeon review of Armed & Delirious
man I remember this game when I was a kid. my favorite part was when you got inside the UFO & use a water gun to stop the aliens... if people even read this... why would they... he he he...
— Commenter Alpha fox Dude on this video
Dick ends up knocking out Fleabag Monkeyface in order to steal his earwax in order to make a giant monster in order to keep his show from tanking because he was running out of topics on said TV show. But in the end, it was all a plan by an evil banana to send two monkeys out into a desert to starve to death.
— The Mysterious Mr. Enter in his review of Fleabag Monkeyface.
And so the KKK barbarians are about to kill our cowboy hero by roasting him alive! ... That's a thing I just said!
—Brandon regarding Get Mean
I hope the lightning golems survived the orbital blasts.
Wow. That's a sentence I never pictured myself saying.
Comics are awesome for being so weird.
Wow. That's a sentence I never pictured myself saying.
Comics are awesome for being so weird.
— Mr Tentacle on Ms Marvel (2016)
For reasons unknown, she ends up in her underwear where the beetles all start singing about how ugly she is, ending with Gilbert Gottfried smacking her on the ass... But really, how many times do you get to say that?
Dina: It's very faint, a really terrible scary sound. And it's awful; a little like Rice Krispies after you pour in the milk. [...] There's something making that horrible cereal noise.
Critic: Did this movie just really coin the phrase "horrible cereal noise"? This is a phrase that needs to exist?
Critic: Did this movie just really coin the phrase "horrible cereal noise"? This is a phrase that needs to exist?
"Morti Mc Fli" appears to be a goff, given that he gives Ta Ebory the "Tim Machine". However, when it's disguised as an I-Pod, Dumbledore listens to Avril Levine on it. Was Marty a poser, given that he downloaded poser music onto his time machine? Did I really just write that?
— One Troper on the Fridge page for My Immortal
"I would like to show my wife and daughter my new head."
I never thought I would hear this sentence ever.
I never thought I would hear this sentence ever.
— Courtlynn Campbell on the "Dr Lee squeezes an 18 year old cyst!" YouTube video
The other two levels are more of the same, the Pacific one sends us to a warehouse full of orange ninjas touching their dicks, yet another sentence I never thought I'd say.
I get to fight a pair of Pyramid Head Klanswomen. That's a sentence I just typed.
"Computer remove corpse"... Yeah, that's something you tell your computer everyday.
Then, as you said, they're interrupted by a gang of pink gorillas. And this has allowed me to write the best sentence I, or anyone, has ever written: After a sexy striptease, Poison Ivy emerges from within the gorilla.
I'm part of a band of greased-up muscle freaks trying to regain their protein powder, and that's only the third time I've said that today.
—Scott The Woz regarding Muscle March
Yeah, Mallus vs Beebo was fantastic, and the stuff that made Legends such great fun. The other one I saw get referenced a lot was in "Welcome to the Jungle" where 'Sara was brainwashed by a telepathic talking gorilla, and then knocked out by a frying pan wielding Sir Issac Newton.' I mean, that's a sentence right there.
—missourielephant on Chapter 10 from The Age of Heroes
I'm sure you've heard this today already, but I have to reiterate it: Smurfs Dance Party's main problem is a lack of content.
So, as you can imagine, I've been consumed by Meatballs recently. ...That was a weird sentence.
"Y'know, I didn't like this segment either, but I wouldn't personally have slutshamed the ice creams... (giggles) Sorry, I just realized the words that I said."
The evil heads fly after her in single-file as she races through the neighborhoods, searching for her head on a stick. Jesus, read that sentence again.
— Troy Steele regarding The Haunted Mask, Blogger Beware
In terms of the ARG, I think it might just be the code hijacking the corpse of Hitler. (I'll take "things I didn't think I'd ever say" for 5 points please).
Here is a sequence of words that has almost certainly never been constructed before but which I nevertheless believe to be meaningful and also true: these prehistoric ants appear to be Seventh-Day Adventists.
"like some horrifying gorgon water balloon launcher"
You may be the first person in the history of the English language to arrange these words in this particular order.
You may be the first person in the history of the English language to arrange these words in this particular order.
— DoctorBlood on Shattered Chains of Fate
"You do realize you're a sea slug, right?"
It's possible that this is a sentence that has never been uttered before this article was composed.
It's possible that this is a sentence that has never been uttered before this article was composed.
— GG Crono on SCP 1867
"Or maybe I just want to write some Sumerian fapbait."
This is a sentence I never thought I would read. +1 for originality if I ignore literally all the other good aspects of this.
This is a sentence I never thought I would read. +1 for originality if I ignore literally all the other good aspects of this.
— Dhanoj on SCP 4960
"On the surface, the Dark Queen is just your normal Sonic Final Boss. However, when you combine her motives, Sonic's attitude and responses and the actual battle theme "With Me", which has its own nihilistic lyrics to it, you got a weirdly philosophical boss in a game where you play as a chili dog eating, super fast blue hedgehog LARPing as King Arthur! That last sentence alone justifies its placement here."
— Josh Scorcher, "Top Ten Out-Of-Place Bosses"
Straight from the sword-fucking to the loving matrimony (a sentence I didn't think I'd ever type, but oh well here we are)
— MagiaZenith on Chapter 12 of More Wishes
of More WishesJeremy: The dogs can cook a gourmet meal and tie a human boy to a chair, but still need a chew toy to fire a gun on a bi-plane!
Jay: I don't think that's a sentence that anyone's ever said before.
Jay: I don't think that's a sentence that anyone's ever said before.
"I'm not necessarily sure what to think of sweet, nerdy little Dipper to say nothing of Mabel going after giraffes with assault rifles. Okay, evil demonic giraffes who've taken notes from the Goa'uld but this one of those rare sentences that only fanfic can conjure up.
— TheBrcklayer] on Chapter 15 of Beautiful Connecticut Waltz
of Beautiful Connecticut Waltz Fiction
Oh. It's you. Come to gloat? Go on. Get a goooood, looooong look. Go on! Get a big, fat eyeful! With your big, fat eyes! That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat. Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
The Progeny isn't quiet about its fascination with archons. I rarely get to say this, but I'm glad they don't have an army of bio-mechanical angel statues at their beck and call.
— Mission report for Operation Headstrong Ocelot, XCOM: Chimera Squad
Wight 1: Did-did that halfling just hit me in the face with a pineapple?
Wight 2: I think he did. Also, I think that no one has ever asked that exact question in the history of civilization, so bonus points there.
Wight 2: I think he did. Also, I think that no one has ever asked that exact question in the history of civilization, so bonus points there.
Now get on your flying boat and stop a crazy dwarf vampire from committing election fraud!
—Wrecan, The Order Of The Stick, 1025
Charlie: Have you slept?
Will: I got up at 2:00 AM and broke down polling data from the Republican Senate primary race in Utah.
Charlie: I never heard anyone say that before.
Will: Someone faxed me the polling data. I don't even know who.
Will: I got up at 2:00 AM and broke down polling data from the Republican Senate primary race in Utah.
Charlie: I never heard anyone say that before.
Will: Someone faxed me the polling data. I don't even know who.
Sadao Maou: Any permanent damage?
Emilia: You're my hero, Satan.
Sadao Maou: So yes.
Emilia: You're my hero, Satan.
Sadao Maou: So yes.
Quentin: I never thought I'd say this, but thank god for Hitler.
Julia: Yeah, no, that still sounds bad.
Julia: Yeah, no, that still sounds bad.
Batgirl: Nothing sadder than a crying Dracula.
Supergirl: If I Had a Nickel... for every time I've heard that...
Batgirl: You'd have a nickel?
Supergirl: I'd have a nickel.
Supergirl: If I Had a Nickel... for every time I've heard that...
Batgirl: You'd have a nickel?
Supergirl: I'd have a nickel.
— Batgirl (2009) #14
WHAT KIND OF MORON TRIES TO RAPE A VAMPIRE?!?
—Luigifan at the end of the "Boar Bio" roleplay of White Dark Life
"For once, sexism works in our favor. (Beat) And I cannot believe I just reached a point in my life where I had to say that."
—Story of Utter Tripe Reviews riffing on Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles
I'm gonna tell Grandpa that you turned into some kind of freaky animal monster thing and went swinging around the forest when he told you not to! (Beat) This has been a majorly weird day.
—Gwen Tennyson, Ben 10
I sincerely regret the choices I made in life that make this a sincere question that I have to ask: did someone make the microwave sentient?
Hawkeye: The city is flying, we're fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense.
Jake: <We have to get out of here. I have to demorph. Rachel? Find Washington. He must be the target. Stay on him. Whatever you do: Protect George Washington.>
Marco: There's three words you never thought you'd say.
Marco: There's three words you never thought you'd say.
—Animorphs - Megamorphs #3
Elphaba: Dorothy had to put herself in harm's way to rescue me: she ended up having to save me from the personification of my father's rampaging anger issues!
The Mentor: And here I was, thinking I'd already found the weirdest sentence ever spoken in recent memory.
The Mentor: And here I was, thinking I'd already found the weirdest sentence ever spoken in recent memory.
"We know that usually when someone who is heterosexual switches sexes..." Is it weird that "usually" can be said in that sentence without irony?
— Amanda, during an El Goonish Shive Q&A session.
Kathryn: Maximillian Haluska, the former owner of this mask? He's been sabotaging the research here. He was a plant.
Bunnigus: In the context of the medical weirdness going on here, I have to ask a stupid question: Was he a plant like a spy, or a plant like a perambulatory asparagus?
Bunnigus: In the context of the medical weirdness going on here, I have to ask a stupid question: Was he a plant like a spy, or a plant like a perambulatory asparagus?
Kathryn: Ah. The spy kind. Good question, though.
"What do you take me for? Of course I know what I'm getting into. I'm in a parallel universe, fighting an alternate version of myself alongside a group of parahuman mercenaries who want me to help the wrongly accused Majestrix of... Do you ever get halfway through a sentence and find yourself unable to believe that you're actually saying it?"
—Brian Braddock, Daredevils (1983) #8
"Mario! Dodge the attack and peel my face off! Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous. Just do it!"
— Kamek, Paper Mario: The Origami King
Steffi: Woah hey, katana tiger alert!
The Rant: I can ALMOST guarantee you haven't heard that sentence before.
The Rant: I can ALMOST guarantee you haven't heard that sentence before.
Goku: Are you that Freezer guy?
Freeza: I am Lord Freeza, yes.
Goku: Awesome! I'mma deck you in the schnoz!
[Beat]
Freeza: I'm sorry, that's a new one.
Freeza: I am Lord Freeza, yes.
Goku: Awesome! I'mma deck you in the schnoz!
[Beat]
Freeza: I'm sorry, that's a new one.
"Ruby, what are you doing? You aren't going to just luck into directions to a city from asking a giant bat… and what has my life become that I can say that and mean it?"
—Weiss, Boldores And Boomsticks
"Naruto..." The Hokage asked slowly, "Where did you get a dinosaur?" He had never, for the life of him, imagined he wold ever say those words to anyone.
—Hiruzen Sarutobi, A Boy and His Pet: The Saga of Nibbles
Jonathan: What's the point in hunting us if we're not somehow delicious?
Frances: Just so you know, in a relationship characterized by really upsetting phrases, that one may be the worst you've come up with yet.
Frances: Just so you know, in a relationship characterized by really upsetting phrases, that one may be the worst you've come up with yet.
— InCryptid, "Sweet Poison Wine"
Think you've got what it takes to tap-dance with the monkeys? (Has anyone ever written that sentence before?)
DAVE: dude dont touch my cape
DAVE: huh
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: i just said dude dont touch my cape and was completely serious about it
DAVE: huh
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: i just said dude dont touch my cape and was completely serious about it
Dylan: She accidentally got me pregnant when we were making out on a huge pile of chaos emeralds.
Sonic: Why did you say that like it was a completely normal sentence?
Sonic: Why did you say that like it was a completely normal sentence?
Ichigo: "You know I'm too young to drink, right?"
Yoruichi: "I'm not offering you any alcohol though."
Ichigo: "WELL, YOU FUCKING SHOULD BE! A Shinigami cat just told me his spy in the afterlife said my ghost girlfriend is going to be killed! That sentence shouldn't exist! That's something I'd hear in one of Inoue's ramblings!"
Yoruichi: "I'm not offering you any alcohol though."
Ichigo: "WELL, YOU FUCKING SHOULD BE! A Shinigami cat just told me his spy in the afterlife said my ghost girlfriend is going to be killed! That sentence shouldn't exist! That's something I'd hear in one of Inoue's ramblings!"
"How'd you know the stuff on the doors is caramel anyway?" Lady Luck asked.
"Uh," Chat said. "I might've tasted it?"
She shoved him away, fully prepared to remind him that he should not taste random goo dripping from the side of a building. But some kind of flying rice ball appeared and began projecting a screen, showing an image of the Akuma and three of his mind-controlled minions on the rooftop.
God their lives were weird.
"Uh," Chat said. "I might've tasted it?"
She shoved him away, fully prepared to remind him that he should not taste random goo dripping from the side of a building. But some kind of flying rice ball appeared and began projecting a screen, showing an image of the Akuma and three of his mind-controlled minions on the rooftop.
God their lives were weird.
Peter Parker: "What is this guy's problem, Mr. Stark?"
Tony Stark: "Uh, he's from space, he came here to steal a necklace from a wizard."
Tony Stark: "Uh, he's from space, he came here to steal a necklace from a wizard."
"Uh, Captain?"
"What?" Misato and the Captain shouted in unison at the first mate, who looked nervously between the two, not sure who had command.
"Uh, the fleet is ready to fire at the….. giant alien clockwork whale? Not a sentence I'd thought I'd say today….."
"What?" Misato and the Captain shouted in unison at the first mate, who looked nervously between the two, not sure who had command.
"Uh, the fleet is ready to fire at the….. giant alien clockwork whale? Not a sentence I'd thought I'd say today….."
Fingolfin: [shaking his head] "For my part, I don't dare say which is more impressive, the subduing of a multitude of foes — or of a handful of Balrogs."
Luthien: "Oh, the Balrogs weren't the problem. The diffi—"
Captain: [to Fingolfin] "How often are you going to hear that, now, Sire?"
Luthien: "Oh, the Balrogs weren't the problem. The diffi—"
Captain: [to Fingolfin] "How often are you going to hear that, now, Sire?"
Hugh Bliss: We are a space-faring colony of sentient bacteria!
Sam: A sentence I really did not expect to hear today.
Sam: A sentence I really did not expect to hear today.
Della: Donald.. you want to beat up Jesus together on this most blessed Easter?
Donald: I'd be delighted.
Louie: I'd say I never expected to hear that sentence but that'd be a lie.
Donald: I'd be delighted.
Louie: I'd say I never expected to hear that sentence but that'd be a lie.
"What you need is a giant hand. Giant hands do giant things... said no one in particular ever."
— The Coachman, Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
Yasha: So Lucien is Molly's rabies?
Caduceus: I think Nonagon is Lucien's rabies.
Sam: What a crazy phrase!
Caduceus: I think Nonagon is Lucien's rabies.
Sam: What a crazy phrase!
Mulder: It appears that cockroaches are mortally attacking people.
Scully: I'm not going to ask you if you just said what I think you just said because I know it's what you just said.
Scully: I'm not going to ask you if you just said what I think you just said because I know it's what you just said.
Candace: That's it, you little psycho, I'm calling Mom! And I am NOT using the banana this time!
(Beat)
Phineas: You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me...?
(Beat)
Phineas: You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me...?
— Phineas and Ferb, "One Good Scare Ought to Do It!"
"Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?"
— Crow T. Robot, Mystery Science Theater 3000, "Gamera"
''"I am not sneaking into magic school with you. I am your alibi, not your accomplice." Is certainly not a sentence Emira Blight expected to hear on Hexside grounds while she herself was actively sneaking out of the grounds, but it is certainly an interesting one.
Other
Also the other reason I'm writing is to upvote ([tup]) the chicken.
Now not only are the Marlins not playing music during Nats BP, loud fart noises are coming through the speakers. I swear, I'm not kidding.
That, by the way, is the strangest thing I've ever tweeted, bar none.
That, by the way, is the strangest thing I've ever tweeted, bar none.
—A pair of tweets by MASN sports journalist Dan Kolko, covering a Nationals-Marlins baseball game
TheCheezGuy: Confirmed: can't adventure in bung chakra while drunk
Corgster: I like that I'm playing a game in which this sentence makes sense.
Corgster: I like that I'm playing a game in which this sentence makes sense.
Walt Disney Pictures Presents: A film by David Lynch.
—Blurb on the case of and on the opening title crawl for The Straight Story
You got to tell me [that] again because it's the last time in my life I'll hear that.
—David Lynch on his phone call to the MPAA regarding the G rating he got for the aforementioned The Straight Story
The Dom: Just don't glue your genitalia closed! I don't think that's a hard concept to wrap your head around.
Nash: (cracks up) Welcome to the 21st century, where the words "don't glue your genitalia shut" are needed in a conversation.
The Dom: In every other universe, I swear that is a redundant statement, but not this one.
Nash: (cracks up) Welcome to the 21st century, where the words "don't glue your genitalia shut" are needed in a conversation.
The Dom: In every other universe, I swear that is a redundant statement, but not this one.
— What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?, 9/4/17 Geriatric Rampage note
DanTDM: It's a depressed monochrome Easter Bunny!..I don't think I've ever said that before in my life.
—DanTDM's Scribblenauts Unlimited Let's Play
Kikoskia: And now, on to the alien-cat-defeating action! I never thought I'd say that in any video that I ever recorded.
— Kikoskia plays Shadow of the Wool Ball
Stanford: Now I just need to hit the safe with an anvil so I can get my shoe out. Things I never thought I'd say.
Aside from the organ harvesting, the homophobia, the anti-evolution ballad, and the Karl Marx apparition, the thing I found most odd about my Shen Yun experience in Houston was the hosts’ explanation of Chinese classical dance.
—Jia Tolentino, "Stepping Into the Uncanny, Unsettling World of Shen Yun"
Are you kidding?! That bat coin was a...a Goomba? Words someone should never say without shortly after going to a mental hospital.
I never thought I would have to say these words as part of a way I make my living, and yet here we are: "Massive semen explosion after blaze hits bull artificial insemination facility, firefighters forced to dodge 'projectiles.'"
—Nash, What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?, 9/23/19 "Living In An Amish Paradise"
In 1934, the pharmaceutical company Temmler started experimenting with a synthetic drug that is not on the list of banned substances: methamphetamine, what will later become crystal meth. Working for Temmler out of a bungalow on the Tempelhoff airport lot, Dr Hauschild - the Walter White of Nazi Germany... Walther Weiss, right? He'd be Walther Weiss... the Walther Weiss of Nazi Germany, which are words I don't think anyone's ever said in a sentence before...
—World War II, "Blitzkrieg on Speed - Nazis on Crystal Meth Part 2"
Danny: (reading the description of a Chuck Tingle novel) "Kirk has finally found a lover that truly understands him at his very core... his own gay ass!"
Arin: (laughing hysterically) Can we say this?
Danny: I don't know! I- I've never... saying that was never an issue for me before!
Arin: (laughing hysterically) Can we say this?
Danny: I don't know! I- I've never... saying that was never an issue for me before!
—Good Content, "Guessing the Names of Romance Novels: CHUCK TINGLE Edition"
"I have to say - from a dimensional analysis standpoint, "poops" is one of the strangest units I've ever had to cancel in an equation."
... viewing capitalism through the lens of Minecraft — oof, yep... that's a sentence I've decided I want to say, today, pardon me, while I have a brief moment of self-awareness about how... incredibly silly a video this is.
—Thought Slime, "Fake Economies in Minecraft"
videogamedunkey: Let go of my mustache, you stupid chicken!
YouTube comment: that's a sentence I didn't think I'd ever hear.
YouTube comment: that's a sentence I didn't think I'd ever hear.
Aw fuck, a horse? Go back to the Minion. ...First and last time you're ever gonna hear me say that.
I found my first toilet. Michael Jackson's gonna be so proud of me. Only in a game— I just realized what I had said. Never in my life would I have expected to say the phrase "I just found my first toilet. Michael Jackson would be proud of me." Think...of a fly on the wall that would just hear me speaking without knowing the context of the stream. And think of what that might mean to them. How do you even process that sentence?!
— Vinesauce, Toilet In Wonderland stream
Oh, great, I accidentally went to the shitty side of Youtube. You click on one vegan flat earth neo-Nazi rap...[cut to black] Heh. I just had to say that phrase but it's all true.
Diabetus: The one comment on this video is "those Goombas are kicking your ass".
slowbeef: The menus are, too. Wait, did you say Goombas?
Diabetus: Goombas. When has that ever been said in a Mario game? "Whoa, I didn't see those Goombas comin', man!"
slowbeef: The menus are, too. Wait, did you say Goombas?
Diabetus: Goombas. When has that ever been said in a Mario game? "Whoa, I didn't see those Goombas comin', man!"
I am going to say this sentence again, because never again will I be able to say this: "Gwynneth Paltrow's vagina-scented candle explodes into flames." Just... bask in it, for a second.
—Nash, What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?, 1/19/21 "Scent of a Woman"
Ah, the room with the dead masochist shower... I have nothing more to add, I just wanted to appreciate that the phrase "dead masochist shower" makes sense in this comic.
— A comment on this page of Awful Hospital
of Awful Hospital"You can lasagna out of a diamond. Um, that is a phrase that I just said with my human mouth, but it does work."
"No, I didn't want to fuck, damn it! ... A sentence no one has never said, ever."
Nash: "Police allege a drug deal gone bad ended in a machete-wielding clown dragging a man out of his business before riding off on his bicycle."
Tara: That is a sentence. Like, there should be a Pulitzer for the most, like, incredible sentence constructed in news this year. "What's the craziest shit you have had to make sound very serious?"
Tara: That is a sentence. Like, there should be a Pulitzer for the most, like, incredible sentence constructed in news this year. "What's the craziest shit you have had to make sound very serious?"
"Well, the first thing I learned about trebuchets is that keeping your GoPro inside your pumpkin is surprisingly difficult. ...I never thought I'd say that phrase."
—Tod Cutler, Tods Workshop, "I Have A Trebuchet"
"You smoked the ghost from the Government!?"
"This necessitates lighting 8 fires scattered around the sacred grove, or, more accurately, sprinting between them while enduring the trials of free acupuncture meets Markiplier jumpscare. That is not a sentence I thought was possible, but then again we do have sentient lightning and uh, Mr. Krabs."
— Max0r, An Incorrect Summary of Elden Ring
"[I]t's time to batter our burger. Words that I never thought I'd say."
"[I]t's time to double batter our burger. Something I really never thought I'd say."
Nora: (answers phone) Yello?
Johnny: A-A fucking ninja hawk... came into my cave and judo chopped me to death!
Nora: (beat) Wha— Oh.
Johnny: What the fuck happened?!
Johnny: A-A fucking ninja hawk... came into my cave and judo chopped me to death!
Nora: (beat) Wha— Oh.
Johnny: What the fuck happened?!
We found out when I got to the top of the ladder. The ceiling had evidently been painted recently with gloss paint and was not fully dry. It was just tacky enough to hold the dildo (I cannot believe I am writing sentences like this :)
borkbork0212: I just joined this stream and the first thing I heard was "you're not walking around the zoo fucking fish" and I must say, for the first honest time in my life, DOUG WHAT ARE WE DOING????
—A donation message, DougDoug A.I. Invasion
Why would the Foundation just shrug off the Canadian Dairy Commission getting into a firefight with hospital staff over a normal infant that they initially thought was a cow? (God, I feel like every time I do a declass, I wind up managing to write the new weirdest sentence of my life.)
