Memes / Monty Python

Ironically, most of you probably were expecting this.

And now for something completely different.

It's...

A set of memes from any given Monty Python production.

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Monty Python's Flying Circus:

• And now for something completely different. ^note  The circus is in town! IT'S...
• He's not pining, he's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! This is a late parrot! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!
  • The most prominent meme to emerge from the Parrot Sketch seems to be "pining for the fjords" which sets up the above Hurricane of Euphemisms.
    • Lovely plumage.
• NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
  • Due to the fact that all Tabletop RPG sessions must, by law, contain a Python reference, whenever there's something called an Inquisition (or even similar to the Inquisition), nobody expects them.
  • Fetch... the comfy chair!
    • NO, NOT THE COMFY CHAIR!
    • "I made him say 'comfy chairs!'"
  • Our two weapons are fear and surprise and a ruthless efficiency...
• My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels.
  • I will not buy this record — it is scratched!
    • I will not buy this tobacconist's — it is scratched!
  • Drop your panties, Sir William; I cannot wait until lunchtime!
  • If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I am no longer infected.
  • I don't think you're using that right!
  • MY NIPPLES EXPLODE WITH DELIGHT!
  • Please fondle my buttocks.
• Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
  • Yes, but that's not just saying 'no, it isn't'!
  • Yes, it is!
  • No, it isn't!
• No poin-ted stick?
  • SHUT UP.
• "Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, LOVELY SPAM!! WONDERFUL SPAM!! LOVELY SPAM!! WONDERFUL SPAM!!" Yes, Monty Python unwittingly inspired the current usage of the word spam (As in spam e-mail: something irrelevant, repeated ad nauseum, not the meat product whose name they used, though it was already used in that sense by amateur radio operators).
  • Although this World War 2 era precursor depicted Spam as unwanted mail!
• It's not particularly silly, is it? I mean, the right leg isn't silly at all and the left leg merely does a forward aerial half turn every alternate step.
• Kick the beggar and insult the waiter.
• "Dinsdale?"
• Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
  • HA HA HA HA HA HA HAA...HAAAAaaaa... *uuunnnhhhh!!*
• So it was all a dream.
  • No dear, THIS is the dream; you're still in the cell.
• Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more, say no more.
  • You lost me.
• Looks like a penguin.
  • Oh, intercourse the penguin!
  • BURMA!
    • Why'd you say Burma?
    • I panicked...
• I want to apologize, humbly, deeply, and sincerely about the fork.
  • Oh please, it's only a tiny bit... I couldn't see it.
    • Ah, you're good kind fine people, for saying that, but I can see it...to me it's like a mountain, a vast bowl of pus!
  • YOU BASTARDS! YOU VICIOUS HEARTLESS BASTARDS!
  • The War Wound!
  • REVENGE!
    • Never kill a customer!
  • And now, the punchline: Good thing I didn't mention the dirty knife!
• Rule six: There is no rule six.
  • Rule seven: No poofters!
• He's a lumberjack and he's OK.
  • I never wanted to be a (insert job here). I wanted to be.... A LUMBERJACK!
• Flying Fox of the Yard?!
  • I'm Inspector Lookout. Lookout, of the Yard.
    • Why? What will we see?
• I think that's in very bad taste. (pouty lips)
• THE BISHOP!!
• "It's the Bishop of Leicester." "How did you know?" "Tattooed on the back of his neck."
  • "Think I better call the police." "Shouldn't you call the church?" "Call the Church Police."
    • "THE! CHURCH! POLICE!"
  • "It's a fair cop, but Society Is to Blame." "Right, we'll arrest them instead."
• Any references to Fish-slapping, especially the IRC command.
• The word 'requisite' was quite a commonly used word until it became 'requisit-t-t-t-t-t-te' to most student-types in the 1970s. And "Actually I'm a gynaecolologist but this is my lunch hour" was popular with doctors.
• "I'm orf to play the grarnd piarno" seems to be popular with Mark Kermode on his and Simon Mayo's film show when referring to anything posh.
• Consider the subject of Deja Vu, that strange feeling that we sometimes have that we've lived through something before. Consider the subject of Deja Vu, that strange feeling that we sometimes have that we've lived through something before.
• ARE YOU. THE BRAIN. SPECIALIST?
  • No. No. No... YES!
    • MY BRAIN HURTS!
    • Noh-noh NO, my brain in my head!
    • It will have to come out!
• But it's my only line!
  • You didn't have to say it!
• Lemon curry?
• I object to all this sex on the telly! I mean, I keep falling off!
• With a melon?
• Semprini?
  • Out!
• Pretty strong meat there from *sniff* Sam Peckinpah!
• Llamas are larger than frogs.
• Number 3: The larch.
• Wait a tic... blimey, this redistribution of wealth is trickier than I thought.
  • (Women's Institute Applause)
• He shouldn't be saying that, we haven't done comparatives yet.
• STREWTH! [dies]
• So shut your gob!
• Start again....
• [rings bell] Good night, a-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!
  • FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE, ZERO!
    • Too late!
• I!
  • HOPE!
  • YOU'RE!
  • EN!
  • JOY!
  • ING!
  • THIS!
• SQUAD! CAMP IT. UP!
• Stop that! It's silly. (And a bit suspect I think...)
• Oh Mr Belpit, your legs are so swollen!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

• 'Tis but a scratch.
  • A scratch?! Your arm's off!!
  • No, it isn't.
  • Well, what's that then?!
  • ...I've had worse.
  • You liar!
• Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
  • Yes I have.
  • *Look*!
  • Just a flesh wound.
• None shall pass!
• Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
  • Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
• And There Was Much Rejoicing. (Yaaaaay...)
• RUN AWAY!
  • Brave Sir Robin ran away...(No!)bravely ran away away...(I didn't!)When danger reared its ugly head/he bravely turned his tail and fled(I never did!)Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about/ and valiantly, he chickened out(Oh, you liars!)Bravely taking to his feet/he beat a very brave retreat/A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.
• One day, [unknown troper], all this will be yours.
  • What, the curtains?
• Huge... tracts of land.
• One, two, five!
  • Three sir!
  • THREE!
  • Five is right out!
• She turned me into a newt!
  • A newt?
  • I got better...
  • BURN HER ANYWAY!
• We are the Knights who say... *Ni!* And we want...a shrubbery!
  • Ni!
  • Shh!
• NEEEEEE-WOOM!
• We are now no longer the Knights who say *Ni!* We are now the Knights who say... Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.
  • Ni!
  • Oh, Knights of... Knights Who Till Recently Said *Ni*
• You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... WITH... A HERRING!
• Pie Jesu Domine, dona eis requiem...*bonk!*
• Killer Rabbit.
  • ...For death awaits you all, with nasty big pointy teeth!
  • That's no ordinary rabbit! That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
  • I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it?
  • "LOOK AT THE BONES!!!!"
  • That rabbit's dynamite!
• There are those who call me...Tim?
• Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh...
  • Perhaps he was dictating.
  • Oh, shut up.
  • When suddenly...the animator suffered a fatal heart attack!
• The now-iconic opening credits.
  Mønti Pythøn ik den Hølie Gräilen

  Røtern nik Akten Di

  Wik

  Alsø wik

  Alsø alsø wik

  Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?

  See the løveli lakes

  The wøndërful telephøne system

  And mäni interesting furry animals

  The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters, or history of any person is entirely accidental and unintentional.

  Signed RICHARD M. NIXON

  Including the majestik møøse

  A Møøse once bit my sister...

  No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
  • We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.
    Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
  • 'We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.
    Møøse trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA
    Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT
    Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL
    Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III
    Miss Taylor's Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
    Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG
    Møøses' noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER
    Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level
    Geography by BO BENN
    Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER
    Antler-care by LIV THATCHER
  • The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked. The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.
    Executive Producer
    JOHN GOLDSTONE & "RALPH" The Wonder Llama
    Producer
    MARK FORSTATER
    Assisted By
    EARL J. LLAMA
    MIKE Q. LLAMA III
    SY LLAMA
    MERLE Z. LLAMA IX
    Directed By
    40 SPECIALLY TRAINED
    ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS
    6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS
    142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS
    14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS
    (CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA)
    REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON
    76000 BATTERY LLAMAS
    FROM "LLAMA-FRESH" FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY
    and
    TERRY GILLIAM & TERRY JONES
  • All these shenanigans with the opening credits lead to a fantastic moment of Fridge Brilliance; the film has no end credits as everyone got sacked during the making of the opening credits.
• O Lord, bless this thy Holy Hand Grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy...
  • Who hath been deemed naughty in thine eyes, shall snuff it.
  • Amen...
• Now go away or this page shall taunt you a second time-a.
• I'm not dead yet!
• He's not quite dead! He's getting better!
• I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
  • Silly English Kinnnnnnnigits!
• ...Do you think this meme should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it. But now, we're glad! It's better than some of the previous memes, I think!
  • At least ours was better visually!
  • At least ours was committed, it wasn't just a string of pussy jokes.
  • Get on with it!
  • Yes, get on with it!
  • YES!! GET ON WITH IT!!
  • Oh, I am enjoying this meme!
  • GET ON WITH IT!!!
• Burn the Witch!!
• INTERMISSION
• Camelot!
  • It's only a model.
    • Shh!
• On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It's a very silly place.
• I am your king. Well I didn't vote for you.
  • You don't vote for kings
  • Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
    • It's not uncommon for Facebook users to write "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords" on their profiles under "political views."
  • You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
  • I mean, if I went round saying I was an emperor just 'cause some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
  • "Bloody peasant!"
• "What, is your favorite color?" "Blue. no. wait, yelllooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww!"
  • "What is the capital of Assyria?" "...I don't know that!"
  • What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
  • What do you mean, an African swallow or a European swallow?
  • I don't know that. AUGGGGH!!!
  • How do you know so much about swallows?
• "What, ridden on a horse?" "Yes." "You're using coconuts."
  • "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" "Not at all. They could be carried." "What, a swallow carrying a coconut?"
  • "It could be carried by an African swallow."
• Bring out your dead!

Monty Python's Life of Brian:

• Always look on the bright side of life!
  • whistle~
• He's not a Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
• Look, I'm not the Messiah!
  • Only the true Messiah would deny His own divinity!
  • WHAT?!? All right then, I am the Messiah! Now, fuck off!
  • How shall we fuck off, O Lord?
• You're all different! You're all individuals!
  • Yes, we are all different!
    • I'm not!
    • Shhhh!
• We're not the Judean People's Front...we're the People's Front of Judea!
  • SPLITTERS!!
• Worse?!? How could it be any worse?? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah!!
  • Listen! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Even - and I want to make this absolutely clear - even if they do say "Jehovah"!
• "Domus"? Nominative?
• I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called "Biggus Dickus".
  • He wanks as high as any in Wome!
    • "Shall I throw him to the floor, sir?"
  • He has a wife, you know.... You know what she's called? She's called....Incontinentia. [beat] Incontinentia Buttocks.
  • "WELEASE WOGER!"
  • "My father was a Roman!" "A Woman?"
• Alms for a leper!
  • Alms for an ex-leper!
• What did Rome ever do for us?
  • The aqueduct?
• I'm Brian, and so's my wife!

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

• "Eeeeeevery sperm is saaaaacred~!"
• "I'm stuffed. I couldna eat anudduh bite."
  • It's only wafer thin...
• Hey, I didn't eat the mousse!
• Marching up and down the square... alone.

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I've noticed a tendency for this page of memes to get rather silly. Ni!