Calling Your Orgasms

Evidently not completely impossible.

Elliot: J.D., I knew you were faking it because at the end you didn't say "bombs away."
J.D.: How could I forget my sexiest move?

— Scrubs, "Her Story II"

Calling Your Orgasms is the tendency of any character in a sex scene to announce the moment at which they orgasm. This announcement, while usually addressed to the person's partner, may also sometimes be addressed to Jesus, God, the deity of one's choice, or that other person they desperately wish was there instead. This is frequently done in works in lieu of actually showing the sex act itself as the sounds alone are less explicit than the visuals. But it's also ubiquitous in pornography (in which it often serves a practical purpose as performers—in particular men—often say this to alert the camera operator, and the person's partner, to get into position for the scene's, ahem, climax).

Frequently this trope is parodied or Played for Comedy especially in the less graphic versions of it. In fact, usually someone calling an orgasm in a mainstream film or TV episode is played for laughs or purposeful exaggeration, though over time TV and movie productions have grown more explicit and the trope is more commonly played straight now.

The sexual equivalent of That Makes Me Feel Angry. May or may not invoke Say My Name. See also Calling Your Attacks, The Immodest Orgasm, The Grunting Orgasm, Fake Orgasm, and IKEA Erotica.

For many people this can be Truth in Television (perhaps as a result of its frequent use in media, or especially in cases such as oral sex, in order to warn the partner to get out of the way of the, ah, incoming mess) but, as with all sexual tropes, it does not apply to everyone.

noreallife

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Examples:

Advertising

• A condom commercial has a kid ask permission for crazy actions, just a few seconds before the mother starts shouting "Yes, Yes, YES!".

Anime and Manga

• It should go without saying that hentai works use this a lot with the classic ikuuuuu!, often to the point of breaking the Show, Don't Tell rule.
• In Maka-Maka, this is done in a realistic way.

Comic Books

• Played for big laughs in the superhero parody The Pro, when the title character blows the Superman Captain Ersatz character. He frantically warns her to move her head just as he's about to come, and his super-powered sperm blows a hole through the room, shoots high up in the air, and clips a wing off a passing airplane.
• Done in a lot of gags in Red Ears.
• IFIX TCEN TCEN! (Also "Ifis Cen Cen". From the photonovela "Supersex". Almost a meme in Italia. Hey, even a beer was named after that.)
• In one notable issue of Love and Rockets, a male character having sex with a woman invokes the name of "SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA!" at the applicable moment. Don't try this at home unless you intend to be laughed out of bed.

Fan Works

• Hetalia: Axis Powers fanfic Gankona, Unnachgiebig, Unità: There's an...interesting...example in this story.
  "LUDWIG! KIKU!"
  
  "FELI-KUN! LUDWIG-SAN!"
  
  "FELICIANO! KIKU!"
• A Pleasant Surprise features this. Played for d'aaawwwwww.
• My Immortal: "I was beginning to get an orgasim." This trope also happens unintentionally sometimes, e.g. "Draco and I came."
• Used also in Relax. It fits really nicely, given the emphasis on eroticism and intimacy versus being outright pornographic.
• This priceless line from Quote's Bad Hair Day: Rated R for Retelling of Cave Story:
  Jack: (after almost releasing his hot, sticky load onto King's feet before being caught and kicked out of the house) J-just thinking about it m-makes me so excited I could just... OoOOOOOOoOoOOH!!!
• In There's No One Like You, Amity tends to do this while having sex with Luz.

Film

• In the French film A Love Story, Justine is receiving oral sex from Katia and announces her orgasm very loudly in English.
• American Pie: During an oral sex session, Vicky and Kevin both fail to hear her father calling her down for dinner. The father is about to come upstairs but fortunately she orgasms at just the right point to shout "I'm coming". So he thinks she's heard him and goes back to sit down. The reason behind this particular example is the girl had never had an orgasm before, so her exclamation was more surprise than anything.
• Coup de Torchon: A very horny Rose shucks off her dress. Wearing only a slip, she says she wants Lucien to take it off. He does, and a naked Rose grinds up against him. Apparently she got sufficient stimulation from his pants, as she soon says "I'm coming."
• Friday the 13th (2009): In the extended cut, as Trent and Bree have sex (unaware of the masked killer outside), they have this exchange.
  Bree: Oh my God, baby. I'm close.
  Trent: Yeah? I got about eight seconds, and I'm going.
  [Both start moaning harder]
• Parodied in When Harry Met Sally...: the movie's most famous scene involves Sally faking an orgasm in the middle of a crowded restaurant to prove a point.
• In the original cut of Hancock, the title character gives a fair warning even before the act, then invokes this trope during the act for a very good reason. His partner doesn't really listen and ends up hitting her head in the wall at the opposite end of the room. Considering the three holes that were blown in the roof a second later, she got lucky. This is a nod to Larry Niven's deconstruction, Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex, (here.)
• Variation in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, after Riff Raff lets Frank know that Rocky has run off:
  Frank: Co-ming!
  Audience: (In the same cadence) So's Brad!
• Played for laughs in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, with one of the women Peter sleeps with:
  Woman: (Dead monotone) Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I just came. Oh. Oh. Oh.
  • Done again later in the movie when Peter and Sarah are hotel neighbors. He and his girlfriend are enjoying themselves one night while Sarah starts exaggerating her performance in a fit of jealousy shouting directly at the wall. Peter thinks it's hilarious, while Sarah's boyfriend is disgusted.
• In I Love You Phillip Morris, Jim Carrey's character helpfully announces that he's "gonna come" to the guy he's screwing.
• In Middle Age Crazy, Bruce Dern's wife yells out "Bingo!" each time she comes while they're having sex.

Jokes

• There are a number of jokes based on little kids mishearing this trope:
  "The legs go to Heaven first. 'Cause last night, I peeked in my parent's bedroom and my momma had her legs up in the air and she was shouting 'Lord, I'm coming! I'm coming!'"
  "Mommy, why can't I say short prayers like Daddy and his friend do?"

Literature

• In American Psycho, Patrick orders the women he has sex with to "let me know when they had orgasms and to be very vocal about it".
• In Educating Sarah, one of the male characters does this in an encounter with the main character, Sarah, despite her probably having a good idea he was getting ready anyway.
• Lawrence Block's Burglars Can't Be Choosers:
  Ellie:^noteWho introduced herself as Ruth earlier on. Ruth Ruth Ruth. You said that last night. And this morning, too. At the very end.
  Bernie: You said 'Sweet fucking shit I'm coming,' but I hadn't planned on throwing it in your face for breakfast. If you don't like your name why don't you change it?

Live-Action TV

• The BBC3 series Horne & Corden had an Overly Long Gag sketch around this.
• There's an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda's Guy of the Week asks her to talk dirty for him, and she explains to her girlfriends that the only talk she can do in bed is an 'orgasm alert' - "I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come - because, well, I'm gonna come. Anything else feels like play-acting."
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
  • In "Family", Spike is fantasizing about fighting the Slayer while having sex with Harmony.
    Spike: You want me, Slayer? Come and get me!
    Buffy: Oh I'm coming. I'm coming right NOW! [cut to Spike getting his 'sweet release']
  • During the episode "Once More with Feeling", Tara singing to Willow while they're in her bedroom and lying down and — oh, where'd Willow go out of shot? — "You make me complete... you make me com-plete... you make me— " Cue a Smash Cut to Xander guessing what they might be up to.
• On The Tudors, when Henry VIII finally engages in coitus with Anne Boleyn, he announces his climax. Which may be justified, since they both know full well the consequences of her getting pregnant before he's legally married to her.
• Played for laughs in one episode of The IT Crowd, Richmond shacks up with one of Jen's friends, and takes to Making Love in All the Wrong Places with her. The Stinger of the episodes involves Jen, Roy, and Moss back in the office, only to hear Richmond's disembodied voice say, in his usual deadpan, "Oh my, I'm having an orgasm."
• In My Name Is Earl Joy claims Earl shouts "It's happening!" every time he's climaxing.
• Happens in the episode "Her Story II" from Scrubs. J.D. calls his orgasms with the phrase "Bombs away!", and Eliot knows he faked one when he didn't use it. J.D. and Turk also have gongs that they ring whenever they successfully have sex.
• Lucifer (2016): Invoked and lampshaded: It's almost a Running Gag of the series that Lucifer (who loves sex) often complains how he hates that people scream "God!" when they come (God is his father and they do not get along).
  Lucifer: I can't stand that; why does Dad have to do with it and do people always call out him in that moment? That so totally ruins the moment!
• Discussed in Friends, when Rachel and Monica are comparing notes on past lovers whose climax habits ruined the experience.
  Rachel: He was the weeper. Remember that guy that used to cry every time we had sex? "Was it good for you?"
  Monica: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two months — I didn't get to win once.
• That Mitchell and Webb Look: One sketch features an in-universe filming of a sex scene that keeps getting derailed by the male lead shouting "Now we know!" as his variant, to the confusion of the director, his co-star and himself.

Music

• Happens several times in Eminem's "FACK".
• Played with: One interpretation of "I Feel It Coming" by The Weeknd is that the singer is calling his partner's orgasm.

Stand Up Comedy

• In one of Pablo Francisco's routines involving Don LaFontaine, he speculates what it must be like for Mrs. LaFontaine to have sex with the man, in a gag that culminates with the iconic booming voice calling out "Coming soon". He does the same thing with Droopy Dog and video gamers, among others.
• Russell Peters does the same thing with British people, culminating with "Oh my God, I'm arriving!"
• Richard Jeni has a bit that referenced this trope. In the bit, God gets sick of sitting through a boring Mass and goes outside to get His messages from His secretary. Those messages include things like about a million people saying they really need to roll a seven, about seven million people calling from bathroom floors saying that if he makes it stop they'll never drink again, etc. At the end the secretary asks God "Oh, and are you having a party? Because about a billion people called up and said 'Yes God, I'm coming!'" The bit ends with God concluding that He needs to change His phone number.

Theater

• In The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, near the end of the opening song "20 Fans", a customer is heard to exclaim, "I'm coming! I'm coming! Thank you! Thank you, Jesus!"
• A horrendously squicky example from Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Judge Turpin, in "Mea Culpa", flagellates himself to the point of orgasm while fantasizing about his teenaged ward, Johanna, and shouts "God!"

Video Games

• Ulmeyda does this in Killer7.
• Travis Touchdown after having an intercourse with Sylvia in No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle.

  "Downward Fucking Dog!"

• Prostitutes may randomly do this during sexual encounters in Grand Theft Auto V.

Visual Novels

• Implied for the protagonist of Daughter for Dessert. In almost every sex scene, the player has a choice of where he ejaculates... which means that he communicates with each of his partners about it.
• Used several times in Double Homework. Also implied several more times, as the protagonist is almost always given options on where to ejaculate.
• Used by just about every character in Melody when they’re about to climax.

Webcomics

• "Help me, Premature Ejaculation Man!"◊
• Characters in Ménage à 3 are rarely quiet during sex — it's that sort of Sex Comedy — and occasionally get specific, notably here.
• In Something*Positive, Aubrey once yelled out "Pikachu! I choose you!" during orgasm. Apparently, it was a dare.
• Played with in Times Like This: As Cassie climaxes in a "virtual sex" session with Philip, she lets loose with a flurry of random letter typings.

Web Original

• In The Nostalgia Chick's Halloween Episode reviewing The Worst Witch movie, The Nostalgia Critic guest stars to sing about Sexy Whatever Outfits. It's a parody of Tim Curry's ridiculously hammy song in the movie, and the ending:
  "I JUUUUUST CAAAAAAAAAAME! But I'm wearing white, so it's okay."
• Dragon Ball Z Abridged:
  • Not only does Vegeta call out his orgasm, he fires it.
    Vegeta: "Galick... gun... FIIIIRRREEEEEE!!!" *A Galick Gun is shot through the roof.*
  • Cut lines from History of Trunks Abridged reveals it's probably a Saiyan trait.
    Future Gohan: MASENKO... HAA!!! *laser beam pierces the roof*
  • It happens again to Goku after he gets out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.
    Goku: Ka... me... ha... me... HAA!!! *Kamehameha wave fires through the roof*
  • The Season 3 finale shows that it's just a ki-based martial artist thing, as Krillin demonstrates with Android 18.
    Krillin: SCATTER BULLET!!! *Bursts out of the Kame House, spreads, and DESTROYS THE NOW-COMPLETELY EMPTIED "KRILLIN OWNED COUNTER"*
• A Running Gag in Game Grumps is Arin and Dan using Unusual Euphemisms for ejaculating, saying, "I'm gonna concluuuuude!" and "I'm gonna complete!" and, most commonly, "I'm gonna pre!"

Western Animation

• In the Big Mouth episode "How to Have an Orgasm," Jessi and Connie watch a porn about a woman's first orgasm. She's such a Large Ham about it ("I'M HAVING MY FIRST ORGASM!") that Connie doubts it's really the actress's first orgasm. Especially when she cries the second time, "I'M HAVING MY FIRST ORGASM AGAIN!"
• Family Guy:
  • Apparantly par for the course for Peter:
    Lois: Peter wait, PETE-
    Peter: SHAAZZZZZZAAAAMMM!
    Lois: Oh... good for you.
  • In British porn:
    Man: Almost... Almost... Almost... There we are.
    Woman: Well done.
  • Jackie Gleason: "POW! Right in the kisser!"
  • And again with Cleveland:
    Cleveland: And boom goes the dynamite.
• The Oblongs has Pickles with a slow crescendo of "Oh God" before culminating in "Jiminy Cricket!"

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