A Mission from God:
Use the blues to thwart nazis
and destroy cop cars.
"Illinois nazis
I hate illinois nazis"
Let's run them over!
Crowd's getting angry;
Band distracts them by playing
Minnie The Moocher.
A Mission From God, as told in Haiku
Mom died in childbirth
Maybe illegitimate
Orphanages suck
Picked up by a cop
Another boy abandoned
A ward of the state
Elwood taken in
By Jake, his new big brother
Change their names to “Blues”
Raised by God and nuns
A Cath-o-lic upbringing
They learn to raise Hell
Brothers not by blood
Learned music in a basement
Whipped by a Penguin
Black suit and white shirt
They too dress like the Penguin
But with sunglasses
Like a real father
The janitor named Curtis
Gave them both some booze
In and out of jail
They’re such a disappointment
To Sister Mary
Out there in the world
They live their lives for music
Cheap booze and women
One drove cars too fast
The other loved fast women
Both broke down easy
Jake lands in the slam
Robbed for a room service bill
Gun wasn’t loaded
Now the band has split
And Elwood trades the Caddy
For a microphone
In for three to five
He’s out on good behavior
Best keep his cot warm
Illinois Nazis
They hate Illinois Nazis
Run them off a bridge
Nothing but bad luck
Elwood was stopped for speeding
He knew they had SCMODS
Tries to outrun them
No way back to the highway
He drives through a mall
Chat with the penguin
Need money for back taxes
A mission from God
Jake needs just a day
She won’t take dirty money
Hits them with ruler
Need the cash real fast
From God they get the answer
Reunite the band
Matt “Guitar” Murphy
His old lady is angry
She tells him to think
Magictones join too
No candy ass monkey suits
No Ramada Room
Mr. Fabulous
He likes his high paying gig
He quits to play horns
With used equipment
The band is back together
Ray takes IO Us
The fat sound is back
It turns goat piss into gas
But they need a gig
Country Bob’s Bunker
They’ve got Country and Western
Both kinds of music
Good Ole Boys are mad
They drive a Winnebago
Got no union cards
Maury books a gig
The Palace Hotel Ballroom
The hall is a barn
Quick advertising
Out of gas and out of time
Elwood makes a date
They’re late for the gig
Sabotaging cars they stop
Elwood thinks ahead
Can’t get past the cops
Go through the ladies bathroom
Jake peeks into stalls
Troopers and Nazis
Parole officer waits too
Orange Whips for three
A few quick numbers
They get the cash and escape
Bluesmobile awaits
Stood up at the church
Jake’s fiancé is angry
Now she wants revenge
It wasn’t his fault
He was detained by locusts
Jake lifts an eyebrow
A full tank of gas
Dark, they’re wearing sunglasses
Jake tells him “Hit it!”
Back to Chicago
Must pay taxes by morning
High speed chase ensues
They outrun the law
Police cars don’t stand a chance
Elwood pulls over
Sweet Home Chicago
They’re almost at the courthouse
There’s a Picasso
Ask for directions
Muzak in elevator
Still one step ahead
Blockade door with desk
The Assessor’s still at lunch
Back in five minutes
SWAT Team has arrived
All available units
The boys are unarmed
Tax receipt in hand
The brothers are arrested
Not Elwood’s handcuffs
Orphanage is saved
Mission from God completed
Can’t pay for lawyers
In and out of jail
Revolving door of justice
Two recidivists
