Funny / X-Men '97

Moment pages never use spoiler tagging — so beware of unmarked spoilers

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"Demerits!"

To Me, My X-Men

• Morph's impersonation of Professor Xavier… not helped by them forgetting that the Professor can't walk.
  Morph: (As Xavier) Scott, while I trust that all my students would gladly die for my dream of a better future, where both human and mutant live free of your total disdain for fun, I would prefer it be avoided!
• Roberto is not impressed by the Danger Room and mouths off to Jubilee, only for Wolverine to pounce on him, claws drawn. Roberto, still thinking it's part of the Danger Room's simulation, calls it "so scary" and asks Jubilee if they can stop.
  Wolverine: (smug tone) Computer, end program.
  [Danger Room simulation ends, making all of the holograms disappear... except for Wolverine and the two claws beside Roberto's head]
  Roberto: *gasps*
  Wolverine: (draws his claws in front of Roberto's face with a "Snikt!") Scary enough for you, bub?
• Cyclops fights off several FOH members, but gets downed by a cheap shot and gets restrained. One of the FOH members takes his visor off, and Cylcops begs them to stop....except he was trolling.
  Cyclops: (with his eyes closed) NO! Dont! I Surrender!
  * beat*
  Cyclops: (grinning) NOT! [Cyclops opens his eyes and a full power optic blast wrecks the room]
• When the X-Jet is blown up around them Rogue lampshades how common a scenario this is as she grabs her free-falling friends.
  Rogue: Just another "catch the X-Men" day.

Mutant Liberation Begins

• In the opening sequence, the very first character we see is Magneto — which is pretty hilarious, after the previous episode ended with him declaring the X-Men were now his to command.
• Just as Wolverine is about to drive downtown to assist his teammates, Jean appears, gasps in pain and tells him...
  Jean: Logan! (groans, clutching her stomach) He's... he's here!
  Wolverine: Who? (unleashes his claws) Apocalypse?
  Jean: (Beat; in a frustrated "you idiot!" tone) THE BABY!
  [Jean then telekinetically tosses both Wolverine's jacket and the keys to his jeep at him. Logan catches the keys without even looking, with his jaw damn near to the floor.]
  Wolverine: Oh, crap...
• After Jean levitates people (and a dog) out of the way of Logan's Drives Like Crazy, they're all gently put back down... including one guy's beverage right back into his hands.
• After the events at the UN, both Magneto and Cyclops share some coffee.
  Magneto: Poison?
  Cyclops: Dark roast.
  • The cups also sport the X-Men logo.

Fire Made Flesh

• Morph votes to call the mysterious Jean who showed up "Jean Doe". What sells the bit is when they call for a show of hands - and then shift into Spiral.
• Wolverine, Morph and Gambit leave the Danger Room and Morph suggests a rematch for what they were doing. They start flipping through the schedule to see Rogue and Magneto listed for a few times and Morph decide to get Gambit's goat by suggesting that they've taken up a lot of Danger Room time. Morph's smug expression when Gambit tries to brush off the implications sells it.
• In the midst of a dark and creepy sequence of the X-Men being tormented by demons and monstrosities, Beast gets... a giant and mildly ugly face that lolls out an equally massive tongue. He even cracks a confused joke at it.
  Beast: Oh dear. I think one of us has the wrong floor. (the face's reaction seems to indicate it surprised at what Beast said)
• Gambit is mortified and hearbroken by seeing a vision of Rogue and Magneto embracing, but then their bodies start merging as they move to kiss. His reaction after he's fled in horror?
  "Gambit can never unsee that."

Motendo/Lifedeath Pt. 1

• Poor Gambit tries to woo Rogue by revealing he's made a cup of coffee for her. Too bad Magneto beat him to the punch.
• Jubilee suggests taking the team to the arcade hall for her birthday. They all worryingly turn to an unamused Magneto.
  Jubilee: [mimicking Magneto] You would have the master of magnetism be seen in a bar of childish make-belief?!
• One of the TV shows Mojo produces includes his version of Divorce Court, currently featuring "Summers vs. Grey".
• Mojo has gotten thin due to lack of interest from his viewers and laments it, but as soon as Motendo becomes popular, he instantly becomes as fat as he always was.

Remember It

• Rogue interrupting Gambit and Magneto's sniping at one another during their flight to Genosha.
  Magneto: Gambit, please remember that should the new Blackbird suffer a... malfunction, you are the only soul on board for whom gravity would most certainly be an issue.
  Rogue: Ah can it, ya roosters.
  • Magneto awkwardly glancing at the Blackbird's roof before he says "malfunction".
• As we first see Genosha, we see a gathering of kids comprised of Leech, Glob Herman, Pixie and others. One of them, in the form of a bird, snatches up Leech's snack, she quickly turns human and lands on Glob, prompting Pixie to teleport around... and unwittingly smash face first into Nature Girl's booth, rolling down a ramp and landing face first into the ground like a complete goober.
• Nightcrawler playfully ribbing Gambit over his concerns over trying to court Rogue.
  Nightcrawler: Ah, you Americans, so theatrical! Life is all violins und close-ups! I blame soap operas.

Lifedeath Pt. 2

• While deriding the idea of Xavier and Lilandra’s marriage, Deathbird brings up the possibility of them moving the Throneworld to Earth, calling it a "Milky Way ghetto".
• Xavier makes his annoyance with Deathbird's pettiness known when he hesitates having his memories wiped.
  Deathbird: He seeks to ally us with Earth!
  Xavier: My God, you are dramatic.
• Xavier, having had his fill of the Shi'ar people’s arrogance and drama, transports everyone to… a classroom. A classroom on the mental plane, but a classroom with a chalkboard, desks, and an apple for himself as the teacher.
  • For that matter, Xavier is pretty persistent in that everyone needs to raise their hand if they want to talk. When Deathbird attempts to break out of her desk, he sticks her back in her seat and shoves an apple in her mouth for not raising her hand. Once a teacher, always a teacher. At least one council member does so.
  • As his lecture continues, we see Deathbird casually eating the apple that was used to silence her.

Bright Eyes

• When Rogue attacks a US military base in her rampage, General Thunderbolt Ross reassures his men (while calmly drinking from a damn mug no less...) that the bunker is strong enough to hold out against the Hulk. Rogue immediately proves him wrong and shoves him against the wall for questions.
  Rogue: Daddy always used to say breakin' into prison was easier than breakin' out.
  • Said men were just watching Rogue smash a tank with another tank. When one soldier ask Ross for input, you can tell from his voice that he's shaking in his boots.
• When Captain America insists on being a By-the-Book Cop in order to go after Henry Gyrich, she tells him that he won't be needing his shield in that case before throwing it far into the snowy mountains and flying away. Compared to what else she does in the episode, it's hilariously petty.
  • Even funnier that Captain America's subdued, but annoyed expression, no doubt thinking "real mature."
• After Emma Frost is rescued and revealed to have unlocked her secondary mutation of diamond form, which allowed her to survive, she quips that "she works well under pressure". Even when she's at Death's door, she can't resist being sassy.
• Jubilee planned on small talk before Roberto tells his mom the truth. He just straight up tells her he's a mutant the moment they walk in.
  • Roberto's mom pauses in silence, pours herself a drink, downs the whole the cup, and expresses what a relief it is that he's now confessing; Roberto's parents have been known already, ever since four of their family homes mysteriously burned down after he turned 16.
  And you truly think your father and I believe a band of Somali pirates hijacked your yacht in the Hamptons?
• It was darkly amusing that Bastion takes his time putting a pair of glasses on Henry Gyrich before strangling him to death in bed for almost compromising the secrets. As if he wanted Gyrich to see his face prior to his imminent demise.
• Trask tells the X-Men how to get into his secret lab; there's an elevator hidden behind the vending machine in the lobby. Ordering a diet soda activates it. Morph finds it, and is seen loudly drinking the soda on the elevator ride up.
  Morph: Über secret break room behind a busted vending machine? Mmm, A-game, bad guy. A-Game.
• Morph calling Trask "Poor man's Oppenheimer"... as he pointing the man out to the team, to stop him from dropping out of the window. Trask then quotes Oppenheimer, with Dramatic Thunder on cue.

Tolerance Is Extinction - Part 1

• Scott's update on his relationship with Cable.
  Scott: Apparently his mutant power includes vanishing from any room I enter.
• When Cable tells the X-Men of the future Bastion is creating, Morph comments that it's another dystopia where Wolverine is the last to die, who gives him a dirty look.
• Jubilee saying "I'm so done with malls!" as she and Roberto escape from the Prime Sentinels at the mall. She may or may not be referencing herself getting into trouble in the original series every time she went into a mall.
• While it became a Tear Jerker, it is darkly funny that the Prime Sentinels pulled off their Bad "Bad Acting" to reassure Roberto's mom and everyone in the charity event that they're not here to kill mutants but to save them.
• When all is said and done, the cameos from Doctor Doom and Baron Zemo end up being this. Doom is actually disgusted by the war crimes committed against Genosha, while Zemo doesn't want his relations with current world leaders affected.
• The Summers family still makes time for banter even when pursued by a horde of killer cyborgs.
  • The Prime Sentinels pursue the Blackbird with Scott, Jean and Cable in it. Jean chides Cable and telekinetically puts his seatbelt on for him.
  • Then the Blackbird is damaged and falling out of the sky again.
  Cyclops: Screw it, I'm not doing this again.
  Jean: Hank's going to kill you. This is the third Blackbird in as many months.
  • After the Sentinels kamikaze themselves into the engine, she tells "Nathan" to start jumping ship. The grizzled war-vet from the future tells her to stop bossing him with a surprised tone unlike that of an actual teenaged son.
  • The X-Men ride out of the falling Blackbird in car. Of all things Cable could be surprised about, it's that Cyclops has a Porsche. Scott just silently smirks, apparently happy that he impressed his son with something.
    • The very fact that Cable recognizes a Porshce on sight is hilarious in and of itself.
• When the Prime Sentinels attack the X-Mansion, Wolverine noticed Trish Trilby among them and stated that he needs to talk to Beast about his poor taste in women.
• Mixed with Awesome, Wolverine getting a glimpse of Nightcrawler's perspective while teleporting after they both stab a Prime Sentinel. Logan is clearly uncomfortable.
• Between the Prime Sentinels and Magneto likely declaring war on humanity, Logan muses "Where's the professor when you need him?". Cue Chuck crash-landing in the already-wrecked, still burning X Mansion from space.

Meta

• Combined with a Running Gag from Invincible (2021), a user on X/Twitter made a clip of the Invincible title card showing up when Beast mentions Sinister wanting to make Nathan invincible. The official Invincible series account then gave Nathan his own title card!
• Disney+'s Days of Our Future Past promo, framing Cyclops and Jean's romance as a telenovela... before Wolverine slashes a monitor in frustration.

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