Funny / X in X Minutes

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood In 5 1/2 Minutes

• The prologue is non-stop comedy, mostly owing to Kaiser's performance as George Joestar.
  George Joestar: I'm George Joestar! Check out my sweet-ass carriage and horses! [Carriage runs into a rock and explodes] Goddammit, horses, you fucked it up! [A horse is briefly shown laying in its own blood and weakly whinnying] Dumb fucking horses!
  Dario Brando: Hobby! I'm Dario Brando, and this is my son Dio Brando, and we're looting your corpse!
  George Joestar: Tough luck, fucko! I'm still alive!
  Dario Brando: Then raise my son!
  George Joestar: Over your dead body! [Cut to a gravestone reading "Here lies Dario Brando. Last words: 'What are you going to do? Poison me?'"]
• When Jonathan is introduced, he is explicitly stated to be 12 years old, despite being inexplicably ripped.
• The video makes a running gag out of Dio Brando doing horrible things to Jonathan's dog, from literally kicking it to shooting it to throwing it into an incinerator to kicking it into a woodchipper. And eventually frying the poor thing with eye lasers after freezing it — and it keeps showing up alive and well every time.
• Erina's introduction:
  Erina: Jonathan! My loins are aquiver for your 12-year-old gentlemanly spotted dick.
  Jonathan: But we're not married! So it's an HJ or anal.
  Dio: [Knocks out Jonathan with the Smash Ultimate KO effect and steals Erina's first kiss] She's now pregnant with my, DIO'S child!
  Erina: Joke's on you! I'm on the pill! [she holds out a bag of Reese's Pieces.]
  Dio: CURSES!
• Wang Chan is literally just Vegeta with a thin moustache.
• Speedwagon's entire scene.
  Jonathan: Father! This racist Chinese caricature has been giving Dio POISON! To POISON you!
  Speedwagon: An' Oi 'elped catch 'im.
  George: Who the fuck is this guy?
  Speedwagon: R. E. O—
  Jonathan: SHUT UP. THEY WILL SUE US TO DEATH.
  Speedwagon: Even Speedwagon infringes a copyright!
• When asked if he's gonna die, Jonathan reassures his father that he will live.
  Dio: Hold that thought.
  Dio throws a sword at George, fatally stabbing him.
  Jonathan: NO FATHER!
  George: Your mother should had that abortion...
  Jonathan: Dio is adopted?
  George: Yep! [cut to George's tombstone]
• Jonathan's first confrontation with Dio amidst the rubble of their house poking fun at the sense of time in the fight, with Jonathan musing aloud about how he's three stories up, but taking well over a minute to exposit to himself. It's then revealed that this full minute still wasn't enough to put him out of range to grab Dio's ankle with his belt.
• When Jonathan confronts Vampire!Dio:
  Jonathan: Dio! How many souls have you consumed?
  Dio: How many breads have you eaten in your life?
  Jonathan: I- hold on, what?
  Dio: Oh, how embarrassing. Y'know, I was going to say "How much bread," but then I thought, "How many slices of bread?" and then I just... "How many breads?" Kinda funny, right?
  Jonathan: Oh yeah, no, don't worry about it. I do that all the time.
  Dio: Let me try- Let me try agai- Take two, okay. [clears throat] How many slices of bread have you eaten in your life?
  Jonathan: Well, I don't... really eat bread.
  Dio: I'm sorry?
  Jonathan: Look at me. I've been a wall of meat since I was 12. You think I eat BREAD? I'm in a permanent state of ketosis, and I'm probably going to die before I turn 30.
  Dio: You said it, not me!
• While Jonathan talks about his troubles with Capri Sun pouches, William Zeppeli demonstrates his Hamon punch on a tiny Froppy, resulting in her face shifting to a moan-worthy face while pink particles surround her, before he splits the rock she was standing on... As well as the Earth.
  Jonathan: ...Why was that frog so hot?
  

The Dragon Prince Season 1

The Dragon Prince Season 1 in 5 Minutes

• When Viren arrives to warn King Harrow of an attempt on his life by Moonshadow elves, the latter gets distracted by how awesome that name is, going so far as to say that getting killed by them the most metal way to die.
  • This is shown by an infographic that lists the top 10 most metal ways to die. In order:
    1. Assassinated by Moonshadow Elves
    2. Duel with the queen
    3. Assassinated by regular elves
    4. Duel with the king
    5. Eaten by dire wolves
    6. Pissing off Viren on the wrong day
    7. Getting stabbed by that guy with the molten dagger we skipped in this video (spoilers)
    8. Duel with the king's bird
    9. Insulting battalion leader Amaya
    10. Spoiled jelly tarts
• Rayla's Scottish accent is explained by Runaan as her watching Brave again.
  Rayla: "Ah jist want tae change mah fate!"
• The Running Gag of the dialogue of each scene folding in to the next scene.
  Soren: It'll be so hard not to murder you later.
  Callum: What's that?
  Rayla: (offscreen) I said I can't murder them! (cut to next scene)
• Rayla constantly demanding Callum to let her carry the egg, and when he finally relents...
  Rayla: AH! ME MURDER BRACELET! (drops the egg into the icy water)
  Callum: Dammit, Rayla!

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Battle Tendency

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Battle Tendency In 11 Minutes

• The numerous ways the various musical references are played off.
• Stroheim insisting repeatedly that he isn't a Nazi despite evidence to the contrary.
  Speedwagon: So, you're a Nazi?
  Stroheim: Ach! Just because I'm a major in ze German military in the late 1930s, you can't just go around and accuse everyone you don't like of being a Nazi you know! And after we just saved you from certain death.
  Speedwagon: To use me for your Nazi research.
• Speedwagon being introduced to Santana.
  Stroheim: Speaking of, I'd like you to meet Santana. We found him in a cave.
  Speedwagon: You've unleashed a great evil!
  Santana: Yes, the power of the Pillar Men!
  Speedwagon: No, trademark lawyers! They hear your name, they're gonna eat us alive!
  Santana: On that note... (Proceeds to eat just about every Nazi soldier)
  Stroheim: Oh no, he's eating my men alive! This is ze white genocide!
• Wamuu treating his beatdown of Joseph and Ceasar (as well as implanting the rings to Joseph) like punishing naughty children.
• When the location card for Venice appears, so does Ghiaccio's angry head.^note Long story short, Ghiaccio hates that "Venice" is more commonly used internally than "Venezia".
• When Lisa Lisa shows up, Joseph makes numerous sex jokes unknowingly alluding to the fact that she's actually his mother. When he goes to peep on her, he comments that "I feel like I've seen those jubblies before."
• The Red Stone of Aja, also known as the "Super Aja" (which sounds like "Super Asia") is literally just the head of Master Asia.
• Kars's TED talk about environmentalism, which involves reducing auto emissions by 30%, implementing a carbon tax on major fuel companies, investing in solar energy and exterminating 95% of the human race in the next 5 years.
• Smokey Brown nearly letting slip that he knows Lisa Lisa is Joseph's mom.
• Joseph randomly turning into Dagget when Smokey Brown and him exchange weird noises at eachother.
• Stroheim's bombastic entrance from saving the team from the vampire horde.
  Joseph: "Goddamn it, just... Caesar died, but the NAZI lived?!"
• Kars' transformation into the Ultimate Life Form turns him into Shadow the Hedgehog.
  • He then farts out a killer squirrel that mauls Stroheim. And absolutely no one helps him while Stroheim is crying out in pain as it rips him apart from the inside out.
    Stroheim: (screaming in agony) Please, somebody! It's tearing out my insides! They are metal but they're connected to my nervous system! The scientists removed the ability to go into shock! I can't stop feeling every claw and bite!
    Smokey Brown: (grinning) I was gonna sit this one out, but I'm glad I didn't.
• Joseph's one time that he predicts someone's next line is literally predicting Kars getting pissy about him making the volcano erupt, calling him a "limey fuck".
• Joseph crashing his own funeral.
  Speedwagon: So wait, not only is you not dead, you're married?!
  Joseph: I know, right? Can you imagine a bigger surprise?
  Lisa Lisa: I'm your mother.
  (Joseph immediately throws up)
• The final shot is of Kars, in a casual shirt, giving a TED talk while holding a sketchy picture of Shadow the Hedgehog with a gun.

Demon Slayer Season 1

Demon Slayer in 6 Minutes

• All the jokes about Tanjiro's incredible sense of smell.
  • He opens by saying how nobody in 1920's Japan uses deodorant.
  • Urokodaki refers to him as Biggie Smells.
  • Tanjiro kills Teoni by "smelling his weak point", which he replies with this:
    Teoni: That's fucking stupid...!
• Upon meeting Tamayo, Tanjiro realizes that not all demons are evil. Yushiro doesn't give him the time to think about it for long.
  Tamayo: Hello, I'm Tamayo, a demon doctor. This is my fuckboy— I mean assistant, Yushiro. We want to kill the guy who ate your family.
  Tanjiro: Hold on a second, there are good demons? That changes, like, everything!
  Yushiro: YOU CAN'T FUCK HER! SHE'S MY MOMMY!
  Tanjiro: Whoa, dude!
  Yushiro: FUCK YOU!!!
• Yahaba uses his Blood Demon Art to weaponize the Konami Code, giving Tanjiro motion sickness.
  • Yahaba reveals that his anatomy leads to unusual problems.
    Tanjiro: Gross, you have eyes on your hands?
    Yahaba: Yeah, I get pinkpalm. Like, a lot.
• Susamaru makes a little blunder.
  Tamayo: Tell us who sent you!
  Susamaru: Are you kidding me? Muzan would murder me!
  (Beat as Tamayo glares at Susamaru)
  Susamaru: Ah, fuck you!
  (Muzan's curse kills Susamaru)
• Kyogai does not take kindly to Tanjiro rejecting his offer.
  Kyogai: I'm Kyogai. I'm one of the demons with a sad backstory. Can I read you some of my amateur poetry?
  Tanjiro: Are the only options that or death?
  Kyogai: ...Yes?
  Tanjiro: (inhales sharply as he weighs his options)
  Kyogai: Oh eat shit, dude!
• Tanjiro meeting Zenitsu and Inosuke for the first time after his run-in with Kyogai:
  Tanjiro: I need a break...
  (Cue Inosuke and Zenitsu screaming)
  Tanjiro: God. Damnit.
  Zenitsu: I'm Zenitsu. I'm a total pants pissing coward, a shameless lech, I can't stop SCREAMING, and I'm only useful when I'm unconscious!
  Tanjiro: Wow, the audience must hate you!
  Zenitsu: Actually, they say I'm relatable.
  Tanjiro: That's fucked up...
  Inosuke: I'M INOSUKE! I LOVE TO KILL DEMONS AND I HAVEN'T WASHED THIS BOAR HEAD IN THREE MONTHS!
  Tanjiro: I could smell.
  Inosuke: (deep, manly voice) But I'm also very pretty.
  Tanjiro: That is actually way more disturbing than the boar head, please put that back on.
  Inosuke: (gremlin voice) WITH PLEASURE!
• Just as the scene covering the Natagumo Mountain Arc begins, Kurapika shows up after overhearing Tanjiro's comment about killing spiders. Tanjiro clarifies that they're killing demon spiders, and Kurapika asks them to be more specific next time before walking away. After which, we get this exchange from Zenitsu and Inosuke.
  Zenitsu: I wanna bang that chick.
  Inosuke: THAT IS A GUY!
  Zenitsu: Not from the back.
• The party being introduced to the Hashira.
  Giyu: These are the Gotei 13—I mean the Hashira. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of time to spend on them, so they're basically a collection of broad charicatures and catchphrases for the moment.
  Gyomei: I'm very sad!
  Tengen: I love drama!
  Kyojuro: I talk about very violent things with a happy smile!
  Muichiro: I'm very quiet.
  Obanai: I'm also quiet... but creepy.
  Mitsuri: I'm a girl!
  Giyu: ...and they're a bunch of assholes.
  Tanjiro: What do you mean?
  Sanemi: Stabbing your dumb sister!
  (He proceeds to stab the box Nezuko's in)
  Tanjiro: Oh my god!
  Kyojuro: Oh yeah! Stab that little boy's sister!
  Tanjiro: You guys ARE assholes!
  Kagaya: Maybe don't stab her.
  Sanemi: Oh what?
  Kyojuro: Bullshit!
  Tanjiro: How are these people working for this organization?
  Kagaya: May I remind you that we have man-eating demons making Golden Corrals out of our villages? We're not picky about who can kill them.
  Sanemi: (in front of Nezuko with his arm sliced and bloody) See? She wants the B! Don't ya, you little blood slut? (Nezuko refuses) Fuck you, bitch!
  Kagaya: That means she's cool and you all suck.
• The scene with Tanjiro meeting up with Zenitsu and Inosuke in the infirmary.
  Zenitsu: (Meatwad voice) I got bit by a spider and now I got baby limbs.
  Inosuke: (deep gravely voice) And I have lost the ability to scream. I no longer have a purpose.
  Tanjiro: Okay, but can you say "I'll get you next time, Gadget!"?
  Inosuke: Fuck youuuuuuuu...
• The Stinger has two of the Spider Family cornering Zenitsu who can only scream at them.
  Elder Brother: Holy shit, look at this kid. He's got Doritos all over his robes. Yo kid, you Nacho Cheese or are you Cool Ranch? (Zenitsu just screams louder) Oh man, he won't stop screaming.
  Sean the baby-headed spider: You think it has something to do with me or...?
  Elder Brother: Yeah of course it has something to do with you, Sean. Look at you and your fucking Toy Story reject looking ass.
  Sean: Man shut the fuck up. You look like something Tim Burton shit out on a bad day.
  Elder Brother: Talk to me like that again, I will come down there and stab you with my spider dick, okay? This thing's like a hypodermic needle full of spite and spider jizz. I will fuck you up, okay? I will fuck you up. (It's suddenly quiet) Wait did he stop screaming? (Trance Zenitsu is unleashed) Holy Sh-!
  (He's immediately destroyed by Zenitsu)

My Hero Academia Season 1

My Hero Academia Season 1 in 5 Minutes

• Midoriya crying while watching the video of All Might saving people after being told he was Quirkless? Depressing and a Tear Jerker. Here however?
  Midoriya: (narrating) So, like any other socially rejected child... (Cut to the video, but with a crying Midoriya up in the corner like a reaction video) I made reaction videos on Youtube.
  Young Midoriya: (crying) And now.. He's saving people from the fire...! He's so awesome and so cool... Better than I'll ever be! Also if you liked this video, please like, subscribe, and ring the-
• Bakugou ends up getting... Rather escalated in abridged style Flanderization.
  Bakugou: (while holding up a 'All Might x male reader' fanfic) Fucking kill yourself!
  Student 1: Dude, whoa, way too far!
  Student 2: Yeah Bakugou, I just told you about my uncle like, this morning! What the fuck man?
• How All Might is introduced:
  All Might: Hi there! I'm the manga author's shameless love for American super hero comics! (transforms) And I'm slowly dying and struggling to maintain relevance.
  Midoriya: You really do represent American super hero comics.
  All Might: (with blood leaking from his mouth) Bruh.
• All Might has a different response to Midoriya's question:
  Midoriya: All Might, is there any way I can become a superhero, even though I don't have a Quirk?
  All Might: Yes.
  Midoriya: Wait, really?
  All Might: Yeah duh, haven't you ever heard of Batman or Iron Man?
  Midoriya: But I'm poor!
  All Might: (suddenly buff again) Then eat my hair!
  (Midoriya immediately eats it)
  All Might: ... I didn't say why.
  Midoriya: I'm a big fan.
• Midoriya's first meeting with Uraraka.
  Uraraka: Hey there.
  Midoriya: Female! (His head blows up)
  Uraraka: (thinking, with blood on her face) Shit, he's a YouTuber.
• The scene introducing every other member of Class 1-A, with each of them managing to sum up their character, power, and/or reason for being in a single sentence.
  Tenya Iida: Vroom, vroom! Follow the rules!
  Ochaco Uraraka: I'm a love interest who's never gonna get enough screentime!
  Tsuyu Asui: I'm somebody's fetish.
  Mina Ashido: I'm a lot of peoples' fetish.
  Yuga Aoyama: (Moans in pain as his Navel Laser sends him flying backwards)
  Hanta Sero: I'm a poor man's Spider-Man.
  Shoto Todoroki: I've got a tragic backstory.
  Mashirao Ojiro: I've got a...tail?
  Denki Kaminari: I'm an idiot!
  Kyoka Jiro: I get shipped with that idiot.
  Momo Yaoyorozu: I've got a questionable outfit.
  Toru Hagakure: I'm literally naked!
  Fumikage Tokoyami: Stock Sound Effect of a chicken squawking
  Koji Koda: I can talk to animals and scare small children.
  Mezo Shoji: I can make extra limbs and scare small children.
  Rikido Sato: I'm a diabetic Hulk!
  Eijiro Kirishima: I'm so fucking hard right now!
  Katsuki Bakugo: I still think you should kill yourself!
  Minoru Mineta: (Background music is cut off by a fart sound effect as he shows up on-screen)
  Midoriya: Ooh, I don't like him.
• How do the League of Villains get involved? Shigaraki sees an ad in the paper asking for starter villains for amateur heroes.
  Shigaraki: (to Kurogiri) Chuck, start the Corolla.
  • During that scene, a Freeze-Frame Bonus of the side column shows some... heavy Tempting Fate.
    "I love having two working legs! -Tensei Iida"
• The video makes an effort to rather quickly explain Bakugou's Freudian Excuse for his philosophy... The dialogue after though?
  Midoriya: Holy... Uh, wow, I... Do you want to... talk about it-
  Bakugou: STOP BEING A CUCK! (proceeds to immediately nuke Midoriya, causing him to screech in girlish fear)
• When everyone's deciding on the Class Reps:
  Jiro: I don't have much faith in electorialism.
  Bakugou: Vote for me and I'll put Deku in a cage!
  Mineta: My Twitter bio says radical- (gets his head blown up by Asui's tongue)
  Tokoyami: chicken squawking as he holds a sign reading "Birdie or Bust"
  Midoriya: These political jokes make me uncomfortable. Can't we just vote for Iida? He's got glasses.
  Iida: (finger guns) I do have glasses.
  Jiro: We should have a female rep too.
  Mineta: NOOOOOOOO-
  Yaoyorozu: I'm smart and rich, which means I'm perfect for the job.
  Kaminari: I'm with her!
  Jiro: I hate all of you.
• The villains' attack on Class 1-A is rather subdued thanks to Aizawa having hired them as Starter Villains. His confidence in things however...
  Aizawa: Oh good, you're right on time. So just to be clear, you guys aren't too intimidating, right?
  Shigaraki: Oh no, not yet. Right now we're basically a hyper-violent Team Rocket. Just give us a season or two.
  Aizawa: Cool, cool. Alright kids. You threw some baseballs and beat each other up. You got this-
  (Cut to him immediately getting his face slammed into the pavement repeatedly by Nomu)
  Aizawa: Nevermind, you guys are fucked.
• All Might's iconic battle with the Nomu is... abridged rather quickly.
  Shigaraki: That monster was scientifically designed to absorb your punches! What will you do now, hero?!
  All Might: Punch him harder. (Proceeds to immediately clock Nomu, sending it flying while screaming girlishly all the way)
• When Shigaraki says All Might's Catchphrase is lame before leaving:
  All Might: ... It's not lame. Kids, it's not lame, right?
  Midoriya: I don't think it's lame!
  All Might: Eh, what do you know, you eat hair.

Beastars Season 1

Beastars (S1) in 8 Minutes

• The Running Gag of Legoshi running away and screaming at the top of his lungs whenever someone like Louis or Haru talks to him about sex. No, scratch that, the entire video compresses Beastars into a pure Cringe Comedy harem anime with Legoshi at the center of it all. Louis even mentions that "Senpai has... noticed you."
  Louis: Legoshi, do you know what a "power bottom" is?
  Haru: Hey Legoshi, do you know what a "service top" is? (after Legoshi runs away screaming) ... It's wolf season, bitch.
  • The one time it doesn't happen is when Juno meets him and tries a pickup line. A very bad pickup line.
    Juno: You can call me "trash can"!
    Legoshi: Wh-why?
    Juno: 'Cause I want your litter in me.
    Legoshi: ...I actually don't get that one.
• Similar to the Kurapika joke from Demon Slayer Season 1 in 6 Minutes, Giorno shows up out of nowhere after Louis announces that he's going to "become the next Beastar" and we get this gem:
  Giorno: Scusi?
  Louis: Beastar, not gangstar.
  Giorno: Oh, mi dispiaci. (leaves)
  Louis: "Gang-star" sounds stupid.
  • Even better, Giorno's little cameo is voiced by Sean Chiplock, the official voice of Guido Mista in the Golden Wind dub.
• After a rather insightful spiel from Legoshi, a conversation starter from Bill ends up speeding up the plot of the Drama Club Arc. Like, instantly.
  Bill: Yeah, uh, I stopped paying attention. Who wants some rabbits' blood?
  (Legoshi immediately starts pummeling Bill, who in turn starts screaming like crazy)
• A talk between Legoshi and Jack ends up taking a... rather dark turn manga readers will be painfully aware of... And a playful reference to Shrek as well.
  Legoshi: Wow Jack... I wish I could be as positive as you are.
  Jack: Oh trust me, I'm not always positive. I've got layers... Yknow... (A noise building up briefly suddenly cuts off) Like onions.
• This exchange between Legoshi and Gouin during his rehabilitation:
  Gouin: (hands Legoshi an erotic magazine) All right, kid, just take this, rub two out, and call me in the morning.
  Legoshi: Ah!
  Gouin: Oh sorry. (puts away the first one and hands him a Genus Male magazine instead) Is this more to your taste?
  Legoshi: Please stop handing me porn.
  Gouin: THIS IS MEDICINE!!
• Haru delivering some absolutely scathing retorts to Mizuchi's attempts to call her out on her tendency to sleep around.
  Mizuchi: 'Ey! Stop fucking our boyfriends!
  Haru: Stop dating losers.
  Mizuchi: What?
  Haru: I know you hear me with those big-ass ears. Stop making your shitty boyfriends my problem!
  Mizuchi: Don't you have any shame?
  Haru: Don't you have any standards?
  Mizuchi: Says the rabbit with a pussy like a public zoo!
  Haru: Says the bitch who's gonna use that black fur to hide the black eye her shitty boyfriend gives her!!
• And after the girls run off screaming (because Legoshi showed up behind Haru):
  Haru: Actually, yeah, that probably crossed the line a little (sees Legoshi behind her) HOLY! (Beat) Huh, you're like a Stand.
  Legoshi: Oh, uh, Hungry Like the Wolf?
  Haru: Huh?
  Legoshi: My Stand name. Or is that too on-the-nose?
  Haru: (Beat) Are you a virgin?
  Legoshi: (panics and runs away screaming)
  Haru: Well that's a yes.
• After hearing that Juno had hit on Legoshi, Louis barges in to set her straight.
  Louis: (Sliding into the room) Listen here, homeroom-wrecker, you better back off Legoshi.
  Juno: (Scoffs) You're not even his girlfriend!
  Louis: You're right - I'm fucking his girlfriend.
  Juno: Yeah? (Tackles Louis) Then how about I fuck his boyfriend?
  Louis: (Inexplicably standing by the door) I need to go.
  Juno: Pussy!
• After a Legoshi tenderly admits his feelings towards Haru, she says something that could be sweet... but then ruins it.
  Haru: Will you be my wolf in sheep's...skin condom?
  Legoshi: (screams)
  Haru: Can you not?
  Legoshi: (suddenly calm) Yes.^*It's implied that he misheard "not" as "knot", considering all the sex jokes in the video.
• There's another running gag in the form of one character making a reference to a classic novel, the other being confused about it, the first one having to explain it to them, with the other responding with something along the lines of "If you’re going to use a reference as a metaphor, you need to make it more obvious, otherwise you just spend all your time explaining it."
  • This happens on three separate occasions, once between Legoshi and Louis during the festival after the former finds out Haru has been sleeping with the latter, the second time between Haru and the lion boss after her kidnapping, and lastly between Louis and the lion boss during The Stinger, while he's holding him at gunpoint. The novels being referenced are Alice in Wonderland^Reference"You Lewis Carroll'd my girlfriend!? Alice in Wonderland, Down the rabbit hole!" and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe^Reference"Call me Jadis, motherfucker." Jadi being the one who killed Aslan respectively.
  • A very subtle one but Haru gets an obscure reference in, it's just in the intro narration when nobody can call her out and before the gag has started.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders (Part 1) In 6 Minutes

• When Joseph notes stands are replacing Hamon, Jotaro asks what it is. Cue flashback to Ceasar's death and current Joseph's response.
  Joseph, choking back Manly Tears at the memory: Don't worry about it!
• When Joseph is oddly insistent on leaving Japan quickly:
  Tomoko: Joseph? Joseph, is that you?
  Joseph: MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! (cue plane taking off)
  • The Joestar Secret Technique works its magic once again.
• After a disastrous plane ride, the group (instantly) ends up in a restaurant in Hong Kong, where we're introduced to Polnareff:
  Polnareff: Bonjour! I am ze comic relief! My name is Polnareff, and I-
  Joseph: Whoa, uh, we're dropping the terrible accents.
  Polnareff: Quoi?! But why?!
  Kakyoin: Because the other two parts took place in Europe, but now we're going through Asia, so...
  Polnareff: (Dropping the accent) Ah, no, I get it.
• Immediately after, we're treated to Avdol and Polnareff's fight... if you even want to call it that.
  Polnareff: Now, which one of you wants to job me? (As he's talking, Silver Chariot materializes behind him and cuts off the top of his hair)
  Avdol: I'll do it.
  (Magician's Red halfheartedly lobs a fireball at Polnareff, who effortlessly leans out of the way)
  Polnareff: Ha! Le fuck you! (Screams as he is suddenly immolated)
• Following that, Polnareff (now free of the octopus) asks if any of them have two right hands.
  Jotaro: Shit, we caused brain damage.
• Joseph's bad luck with planes also extends to boats.
  Jotaro: "Alright, Grandpa. Do we have to worry about boats?"
  Joseph: "Nah, I've never had a problem with a boat before-"
  (Smash Cut to a life raft)
  Joseph: "So the boat exploded. But that doesn't mean all boats are bad-"
  (Smash Cut to another life raft)
  Joseph: "So that boat was a monkey. I blame you for this, Jotaro."
• Anne complains that they cut off her shower scene. Polnareff replies that "Nobody wants to see your Little Orphan Fanny".
• The Crusaders go to India and Polnareff has to deal with the pig in the toilet... only instead it's Porky Pig.
  Porky: Gimme your bi-bi-bi- uh, gimme your bi-bi-bi- uh... I wanna eat your shit!
  Polnareff: I can hold it.
  • He's still holding it when they get to Enya, and it's starting to get to him.
    Polnareff: It's literally been a week, I think I'm going to die.
  • Thankfully, he finally gets to go on the submarine... and then opens a window on the submarine.
• When the Crusaders are being pursued by Wheel of Fortune, Jotaro wonders if a car could actually be a Stand. Kakyoin replies that anything could be a Stand.
  Kakyoin: The sun could be a Stand...
  (Smash Cut to the Crusaders hiding from Sun)
  Jotaro: ...Fuck you, Kakyoin.
  Polnareff: IT'S MELTING MY HAIR GEL!
• Kakyoin carves a message into his arm before waking up from his nightmare with Death 13. What does he write? "Donut".
• Cameo offers to grant one wish for Polnareff...who wishes for Lil' Bush to be brought back.
• While on the submarine, Joseph gets a call from his wife.
  Joseph: What up, Baby Mama? ... A voicemail? ... A paternity test? ... Ok, well I've never met this chick before in my life, I've never even been to Japan, Ok, this is ridiculous, I won't stand for this, I'm hanging up now! (slams the phone down) ... Not my fault Hamon destroys condoms.
  • Jotaro's seen glaring at him at the 'never been to Japan' part.
• DIO suggests that he and Hol Horse have gay sex. He refuses, but shortly after DIO brings up his Chevy...
  Hol Horse: ... So, how gay we talkin'?
  (Smash Cut to KaiserNeko talking about sakura trees)

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders (Part 2) in 9 Minutes

• Polnareff and Avdol offering metacommentary.
  Polnareff: Look, I'm just saying it's weird they used Walk Like An Egyptian for the part we weren't even in Egypt.
  Avdol: Polnareff, that take is so cold Magician's Red couldn't melt it.
• Iggy can talk. Only Jotaro actually questions this fact.
  Jotaro: Hold up...
• Joseph warns Jotaro that Geb can track targets by sound. He warns him by screaming this information as loudly as possible.
  • Geb flips the bird during its introduction.
  • Kakyoin once again tempts fate.
    Kakyoin: You heard him, Polnareff. Keep your eyes out for—
    (Geb slashes Kakyoin's eyes out)
    Kakyoin: ...Oh.
    (Kakyoin collapses)
    Polnareff: Oh god. You know, being blinded by a blind guy is kind of... eye-ronic, don't you think?
• After Iggy (in his initial character design) gets thrown at N'Doul:
  Jotaro: We cool?
  Iggy: (suddenly in his second design) Yeah, we're cool.
  Jotaro: ... Hold up...
• Joseph tells everyone to split up and look for clues while a familiar tune plays in the background.
  Avdol: If you're Fred, that makes me Velma right?
  Jotaro: Polnareff is obviously Shaggy.
  Polnareff: Careful, JoJo, that makes you Daphne.
  Iggy: Anyone calls me Scooby and I'll leave a doo in your shoe.
• Oingo and Boingo's names are blatantly censored (complete with black boxes over their mouths).
  Polnareff: Jo, what is happening?
  Joseph: Copyright is a strap-on toting bitch, Polnareff. Also, the fuck did you just call me?
  • This abruptly leads into Anubis, with Oingo and Boingo being completely ignored past this joke and Polnareff trying to change the subject after Joseph catches the nickname Polnareff gave him.
• Jotaro and Polnareff discuss Anubis.
  Polnareff: I said the sword is the Stand.
  Jotaro: Then who's the Stand user?
  Polnareff: Whoever holds the sword.
  Jotaro: I thought Stands were the extension of our souls.
  Polnareff: Well, now the Stand is the extension of the sword's soul.
  Jotaro: That is some Soulcalibur announcer level bullshit and I am not here for it. (Anubis shows up on screen and barks) Also, is that supposed to actually be Anubis, or...?
  Polnareff: Man, Jotaro, I don't know, the manga was made for kidsinvoked, just accept the premise...
• Alessi tries to chime in, and they don't even bother with a joke to brush him off.
  Alessi: Speaking of kids-
  Jotaro: Fuck no, we're skipping you.
  Alessi: Oh, come on! My arc is great; it's chock-full of child—
  Joseph: DICK!
  Avdol: What?
  (pan to Joseph and Avdol being magnetized by Mariah's Bastet)
  Joseph: I SAID "GET OFF MY DICK"!
  • Mariah admits she'd rather ship Joseph and Avdol together than kill them.
    Avdol: Killing us might be more dignified...
    Joseph: Please don't tell my wife about this!
    Avdol: How many times have you said that?
    Joseph: Eh, at this point it's lost all meaning.
• Upon first meeting D'Arby.
  Polnareff: Oh, so he gets to have the terrible French accent.
  Joseph: That's Cajun.
  Polnareff: I said what I said.
• And how Jotaro defeats him.
  D'Arby: Two pairs.
  Jotaro: Exodia, The Forbidden One!
  D'Arby: IMPOSSIBLE— (is disintegrated)
  Jotaro: Ah shit, I should've asked him about DIO's mansion.
• "Got at least a dozen bitches always talking on my leash. Got one paw on my bone and the other on my piece."
• The battles against Hol Horse and Pet Shop are resolved simultaneously... in a manner both ridiculous and also fitting the norm of JoJo canon: Hol Horse pops up (without Boingo) and shoots the Crusaders, only for Star Platinum to flick it away... into Pet Shop flying overhead with Iggy, who lands crushing Hol Horse under The Fool.
  Jotaro: Heh, 'up-dog'. (Pet Shop lands before them in a splash of blood)
  • Even funnier, Hol Horse just shows up yelling "HOWDY!" and immediately opens fire, which is... Surprisingly practical for him. It still doesn't work.
• After finding DIO's mansion, Joseph does his Big "OMG!".
  Joseph: (looks to the audience) There, I did it, everyone happy? Good.
• Iggy survives the plot by walking away when they find DIO's mansion, realizing that he's got death flags on him for days.
  Iggy: Yeah, no. Sorry gentlemen, but I know what story I'm in. One step in there and it's "Does the dog die dot-fucking-com". Not today. Today, Iggy lives. Peace.
  Kakyoin: More like man's best fairweather friend.
  Avdol: Kinda feels like I should take a hint...
• Unfortunately, Avdol did not take a hint.
  Avdol: Be careful, Polnareff! We're deep in enemy territory! Who knows what lies within these shadows...
  Polnareff: Don't worry, Avdol! [Handshake] I already lost you once. I'll never let that happen again.
  [Avdol gets obliterated by Cream, leaving only the arm that Polnareff was shaking hands with]
  Polnareff: [calmly, but very clearly seething] ...Fuck.
• Vanilla Ice's defeat, courtesy of... the Kool-Aid Man!
  Kool-Aid Man: (bursts through the wall, letting in the sunlight) OH YEAH!
  Vanilla Ice: AHH- (is disintegrated)
  Polnareff: Thank you, Kool-Aid Man!
  Kool-Aid Man: No problem, Polnareff!
  Polnareff: Could I also have some of your Kool-Aid?
  Kool-Aid Man: NOOOO, IT’S BLOOOOD! (leaps away)
  • The background music for the fight is a dramatic, horror-inspired take on the buildup to "Ice, Ice Baby."
• Terence T. D'arby battles Jotaro in the Capcom fighting game, made funnier in that he's voiced by Maximillian Dood. Meanwhile, Joseph is backseat gaming hardcore.
  Joseph: You need to hit confirm, Jotaro! And he keeps throwing you! In the JoJo bloodline, we tech those!
  Jotaro: Grandad, I haven't had time to lab!
  Joseph: I didn't know my daughter raised a fucking fraud!
• DIO stopping time to move Polnareff back down the stairs is represented by the endless stairs from Super Mario 64.
• The first exchange between Joseph & DIO is short but great.
  Joseph: Hey DIO! Get off my granddad, you undead man ho!
  DIO: NYEVA~! (flies away with a whoop sound effect).
• Everyone knows DIO can stop time because It Was His Sled is in full force.
  Polnareff: Damn it! Stop stopping time, you OP dick!
  DIO: Wait. You know about The World?
  Polnareff: The World's been a meme for years, bro.
  (Later on...)
  Joseph: DIO! I know you stopped time to kill Kakyoin!
  DIO: Fine, whatever, you know I can stop time. But at least I, DIO, am the only JoJo villain with time powers!
  Joseph: Oh, uh...
  DIO: Okay, but I, DIO, have the most powerful time powers!
  Joseph: Eeeeuuuugggggghhh...
  DIO: Well at least my DIO time powers are the easiest to explain.
  Joseph: Okay, that one's true.
• Jotaro tries to tell Joseph and Kakyoin to not take DIO on by themselves... and Kakyoin is gone the moment he turns to look at them.
• Kakyoin's death is still tragic ... except for the end:
  Kakyoin: (thinking) At least ... I die ... with ... friends ...
  Joseph: NO! Our close acquaintance Kakyoin!
• Jotaro returns to tell Joseph he still can't find Polnareff, but briefly gets distracted by a man eating pussy.^note A man eating a cat's severed head.
• The initial confrontation between Jotaro and DIO is played almost straight...
  DIO: Oh, you're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me!
  Jotaro: I have to move closer if I'm gonna kick your-
  (DIO nails him mid-sentence with a storm of knives)
  Jotaro: (stares down at his wounds) ...ass. (collapses)
  • And how does Jotaro survive this? He filled his coat with old Garfield collections.
    DIO: Pretty sure that killed him. (slices and grabs road sign) Buuuut just to be safe~!
    Jotaro: (internally) I hate Mondays!
    DIO: GOODBYE, JOJO!
• After DIO feeds on Joseph:
  DIO: Now that I, DIO, have Joseph's blood, Jonathan Joestar's body is now fully mine to control. What say you, Jotaro?
  Jotaro: Every person you'll ever fuck will be with my [great-]great-grandfather's dick.
  DIO: (Death Glare) ... Road roller. (The World's away)
  Jotaro: Is it weird that I kinda prefer the tanker from the OVA- (is crushed by the steam-roller)
• When Jotaro reveals he can stop time as well:
  DIO: BULLSHIT! How?!
  Jotaro: We have similar Stands.
  DIO: What kind of leap in logic is that? (gets kicked away)
  Jotaro: Look man, the manga was made for kids. Just accept the premise.
• DIO offers Jotaro some kool-aid before he dies. When Jotaro becomes distracted, DIO squirts his own blood to blind him.
  Jotaro: Nooo, it's blood!
• The one to defeat DIO... is Iggy ... by farting on him!
  DIO: ... What? (blows up)
  Iggy: That, was for Danny. (walks away as DIO's body bursts into flames)
  Jotaro: ... Hold up.
• After Joseph is revived, Jotaro needs to make sure DIO isn't possessing him.
  Joseph: You've got a six-year-old uncle!
  Jotaro: ... Buy me a PS5 or I'll tell Grandma.
  Joseph: You little fu- (cut to the title)
• When Polnareff reveals he plans to spend some time in Italy, Jotaro notes the tickets cost an arm and a leg.
  • He also mentions makes a Call-Back in the form of missing Jotaro's mother's, uh, anatomy. This prompts another funny, and dirty, comment from Joseph.
    Polnareff: Au revoir, mes amis. Take care of your mother, Jotaro... and her vagina.
    Joseph: I also miss Kakyoin... but keep my daughter's vagina out of your mouth!
    Jotaro: Hah! Gross.
• And at the very end... the plane blows up.

My Hero Academia Season 2

My Hero Academia Season 2 in 8 Minutes

• After Aizawa announces that Class 1A (fresh off an actual villain attack they don't have an on-site therapist for) will be participating in the Sports Festival (specifically that they'll be whoring them out to the public):
  Ochako: Will any of us be paid for this?
  Aizawa: No, now go blow each other up.
  Bakugo: (while turning to face Izuku) FINALLY!
  Izuku: BAKUGO, NO! (he explodes)
• As the Sports Festival begins, Present Mic asks if anyone is here to watch sports. The stadium then goes silent, aside from some awkward coughing. When he then asks if they're here to watch high schoolers fight each other, the audience starts cheering again.
• When Shoto tells Izuku he's going to crush him:
  Izuku: Look Todoroki, I already have Kacchan crushing on me.
  Bakugo: (kicks down the door) It's not as gay as it sounds!
  Izuku: It's a little bit as gay as it sounds.
• The various fights in the Sports Festival itself.
  • As Hitoshi Shinsou brainwashes Izuku into losing, Izuku yells "Foreshadowing, help me!"
  • Sero barely gets a sentence out before Todoroki freezes him.
  • Ibara Shiozaki calling Jesus her onii-san in Christ.
  • "Necessity is the MOTHERFUCKER of invention!" Mei then drops missles everywhere.
  • Mina chanting "I see London, I see France, I see you in the ICU!" during her battle with Aoyama.
  • According to Tokoyami, the reason for his bird head may be connected to Brandon Lee.
    Momo: Who the hell is Brandon Lee? (Dark Shadow crushes her under its fist)
  • Kirishima versus Tetsutetsu's contest of hardness:
    Kirishima: I'm harder than a FromSoft game!
    Tetsutetsu: I'm harder than getting my mom to stop drinking!
    (both punch each other out)
  • Uraraka vs Bakugo:
    Uraraka: Rock beats asshole! (sends a meteor shower down on him)
    Bakugo: Explosion beats rock. (launches a huge explosion at the meteor shower)
  • After Izuku gets through to Todoroki, he suggests hugging it out... only to get set on fire, screaming like a little girl in the process.
  • After Bakugo blows up Tokoyami, the scene cuts back to the announcers:
    Present Mic: We are gonna get so fucking sued one of these days.
    Eraserhead: Your mike's live.
    Present Mic: Please do not sue us!
  • And of course, the final match:
    Bakugo: Time to sing me A Song of Ice and Fire you morose motherfucker! (cuts to an unconscious Todoroki) Ayo?
    Izuku: I didn't know you read fantasy books, Kacchan! Ooh, let's start a book club!
    Bakugo: Deku, I will shove my fist down your throat and use my FUCKING QUIRK!
• All-Might, looking at the chained up and rabid Bakugo: "We need to get an on-site therapist."
• When Eraserhead tells the class their going to be interning:
  Jiro: Are we gonna get paid for this?
  Eraserhead: No, stop asking.
• Gran Torino's introduction:
  Gran Torino: Hey, kiddo! Name's Gran Torino! Imma train ya what so yer bones don't break no more!
  Izuku: Oh, COOL! How're we gonna do that?!
  Gran Torino: By breakin' yer bones! (kicks Deku in the face)
• All For One telling Shigaraki to not call him dad because it turns him on too much when Shigaraki asks if he could get some Nomu.
• Izuku watching Kaggyfilms' reaction to the first season video (In which Kaggy noted Deku's layout was just like his, box and shadow and all).
  Izuku: He stole my layout. (completely misses the Nomu staring at him from the window)
• Shigaraki wants to go to Wendy's after the Nomu attack. Kurogiri tells him he can't get a frosty.
  Shigaraki: But then why would we even go there?!
• Endeavor's first scene.
  Civilian: Look, it's Endeavor! Everyone's problematic fave!
  Gran Torino: Took you long enough!
  Endeavor: Sorry about that. I was busy beating my (cut to Torino and the civilian) ... meat.
• Stain's incredibly edgy monologue.
  Stain: This city is plagued by the rancid, nauseating stench of hypocrisy! Clutch with corporate whores masquerading as heroes for their masters. Morally compromised, corrupt! This cancer cannot be fixed by weed or chemotherapy, it must be surgically removed like a polyp from the rectum of God! So I will take up the scalpel, a devil surgeon ready to take this city under the knife!
  Iida: Vroom vroom, breaking the rules!
  Stain: Oh, no! My one weakness: interns!
  • Even better, Stain's voice is Lani's Batman voice when the group did a let's play for Batman: Arkham Knight.
    Nick Lani: Today's heroes are all posers! That's a Stain-fact!
• This is followed by Izuku, Iida and Todoroki repeatedly kicking Stain while Izuku says "Todd McFarlane sends his regards!"
• Kenji Tsuragamae's over-the-top Scottish accent and dog pun-filled speech to the boys while they're in the hospital.
  Tsuragamae: Congrats pups, you captured the doggone Hero Killer! Unfortunately, since you're not legally heroes yet, it was against the paw. Though, we're gonna throw ye a bone and not throw ye in jail, but you can never tell the tail. Any questions? (Izuku raises his hand) That's not about my penis. (Izuku lowers his hand)
• When Aizawa announces the final exams.
  Izuku: Will this be an oral or a written exam?
  Aizawa: Your Mom gave me an oral exam.
  Izuku: See, that one didn't feel earned.
• The final exams themselves.
  • Kirishima calls Satou sugar daddy before he gets crushed by a Thwomp. (FAIL!)
  • Tsuyu and Tokoyami vs Ectoplasm.
    Ectoplasm & his clones: KAGE BUNSHIN NO FUCK YOU!
    Tsuyu: Tokoyami, We Need a Distraction.
    Tokoyami: Yeah, sure, okay.
    Ectoplasm: You can talk?! (Dark Shadow, now making the chicken sounds this time, attacks from behind and handcuffs Ectoplasm) Aw shit. (PASS!)
  • Iida simply tosses Ojiro to the exit gate. (PASS!)
  • Todoroki tells Yaoyorozu to believe in the him who believes in her.
    Eraserhead: Congratulations, you both (PASS!)
  • Ochako and Aoyama vs Thirteen.
    Aoyama: So, about you and Midoriya, huh?
    Ochako: Can my story cannot have anything to do with Midoriya for five minutes?!
    Aoyama: I don't know, ask the author.
    Ochako: Man, fuck this! (proceeds to defeat Thirteen like an enraged badass) (PASS!)
  • Nezu introducing himself to the audience.
    Nezu: (takes a sip of tea) Hi there, I'm Principal Nezu, and I literally HATE HUMANS! You think that would be a conflict of interest, but honestly I'm no different from a majority of school staff. Now please, run in terror. (cut to Kaminari and Ashido running for their lives) (FAIL!)
  • Koda summons a Sand Worm to defeat Present Mic. (PASS!)
  • Snipe (who explains his Quirk is 'basically having an aim-bot') accidentally gets himself accused of sexual harassment after accidentally elbowing a naked Tooru in the chest.
    Tooru: Did you just touch my boob?!
    Snipe: No, wait, no!
    (cut to a newspaper reading "UA Teacher and local hero under investigation for misconduct", with a side column about Endeavor saying "I'd say I'm good friends with approximately 40% of cops.")
    (PASS!)
  • Meanwhile with Izuku and Ochako:
    Ochako: Hey Deku, you been watching the matches?
    Izuku: Yup! These are amazing, seeing all these future heroes!
    Ochako: Oh, hey look, it's Sero and Mineta! (Izuku prepares to leave) Deku?
    Izuku: Yeah, I think I'll (PASS!)
  • And finally, Izuku and Bakugo vs All Might.
    Izuku: Look, if we don't work together, we're going to lose!
    Bakugo: If we work together, I'll lose my lunch!
    Izuku: Come on Kacchan, don't throw this match!
    Bakugo: (prepares to toss Izuku away) I'll throw whatever I want!
    (Izuku Screams Like a Little Girl as he's sent flying before he hits a nearby bus and falls to the ground. Cut back to Bakugo and All Might)
    Bakugo: Oh shit, I was actually aiming for the exit.
    All Might: No you weren't.
    Bakugo: No I wasn't.
    Izuku: (punches Bakugo in the face) Sick of your shit! (drags him out of the exit, and the two (PASS!) )
• Shigaraki calls Himiko Toga a Manic Pixie Nightmare Girl and asks if Dabi is actually Shoto's brother. The video cuts to title before Dabi can answer.
• In The Stinger, Endeavor gives a press conference (viewed on Izuku's phone) where he confirms that he beat ... the Hero-Killer Stain.